Modern parenthood is complex and sometimes unbalanced, and the consequences of it are anxious, at least because modern children growing up in those families obtain less care and adopt negative behavioral patterns. Unstable families produce instability, and children inherit it, creating more instability in the next generations. In times of change, it is crucial to understand those changes and be ready to react to overcome numerous challenges.
Family instability conception refers to situations in marriages and relationships that change quickly. This concept was initially developed in the 1990s and considered children undergoing this instability (Cavanagh & Fomby, 2019). It studies children’s responses to the different stressors connected with those changes: divorces, remarriages, cohabitations without marriage, etcetera. Children undergo stress from parents’ negative feelings, from breaking up with schools and friends that usually follow the divorce, from living in incomplete families, and obtaining less care and family warmth. In that way, drastic changes lead to instability, and instability leads to stress.
A high divorce rate is one of the main reasons for family instability: incomplete families tend to be unbalanced for different reasons. For example, it is much harder to maintain a work-life balance in such a family due to a constant lack of time. Due to high divorce rates and high marriage age on average, more and more children are in the situation when they live in an incomplete family. Divorce rates in the United States have risen slowly last decades, and for now, they have reached more than 40% of all marriages (Smock & Schwartz, 2020). Children experience stress with their parents conflicting and divorcing and tend to adopt those behavioral patterns for themselves (Cavanagh & Fomby, 2019). In this way, they grow up with a tendency to form incomplete families by themselves. In the 2010s, most people living together were cohabited, not married (Smock & Schwartz, 2020). The tendency to reject marriage is rising, along with the average age of marriage. It leads to instability in families in general.
Another reason for modern families being unbalanced is the hardship of maintaining a work-life balance. More than 50% of all women and men having children said in a survey that they feel difficulty in combining work and family activities (Parker & Wang, 2013). That leads to the situation when children may obtain less care, and the overall stress level in families increases. According to Parker & Wang, though, the amount of time parents spend with their children is growing up (2013). Due to changes in gender roles, fathers spend much more time with children and doing housework: this time almost doubles from the 1960s (Parker & Wang, 2013). Maintaining a work-life balance is crucial, but it is more challenging due to those changes, both for men and women; people should adapt to new roles and conditions.
In general, gender roles have become much less distinct, and traditional images of a working man and a housewife woman are vaguer now. The traditional family structure has changed. The percentage of working women has risen drastically compared with the 1960s (Parker & Wang, 2013). At the same time, the amount of time fathers spend with their children has increased more than twice compared to the 1960s. In general, working full-time for women and doing all housework for men is not unusual now. Such changes in gender roles bring even more chaos and instability to the situation with families.
Instability in modern families produces challenges for parents and children: parents should maintain a work-life balance, and both parents and children should be more adaptable to live well. Chaos with gender roles has changed the familiar way of life, making people feel confused. Families tend to form and dissolve much quicker than before, and marriage is not mandatory for modern families. The abilities to maintain a work-life balance, react quickly, and be ready to change are crucial to living well in this time of constant change.