The term gender is socially created, and it distinguishes man and women. However, some people think that gender and sex are same terms. But they are not same. There is a difference between them. The term sex means when we divide the males and females based upon their sex organs. On the other hand, the term gender means that is socially constructed and tell how man and women expected to behave in the society. For example, a boy is expected that he plays with dinosaur toys, trucks and guns. On the other hand, people want that girls should play with dolls, the utensils that are used in the kitchen. So, from the beginning of the life they are taught how to behave in society. There are some public hopes that hits the close relationship in greater way. Though, the society always criticize the head of the family or the main member of the family if something happen that do not meet the expectations of the society towards different gender roles. So, I think it is the main reason man always try to dominate the women, parents overcontrol their girls as compared to their boys and there are many other examples that I will explain in the next paragraphs that show how the relationships are affected by social expectations.
In the story “Hills like white elephants” written by Ernest Hemingway tells about how an American man try to convince his girl in different way to abort her child. Even the girl doesn’t want to abort the child he tried to change her decision by using many ways. However, the American man has no stand. Like he first said that “if you don’t want to you don’t have to. I wouldn’t have you to do if you didn’t want to. But I know that it is perfectly simple (Hemingway 157). But after he said this, he again tried to dominate the jig and said that the operation is very simple. After all this when jig is not ready to have a operation he gave her the fear that she is not able to travel after the child will born (Hemingway 157). From our understanding we come to know about that they both are not married, and the child is unplanned. In some societies child before marriage hits the reputation badly. So, I think that in the society where American man is living the child before marriage is not considered good. So that’s why he even doesn’t tell his name in the whole story and try to dominate so Jig may be ready to abort the child. So, society do not come to know about the child and there is no danger over the reputation of American man.
Moreover, in the story named as “Girl” written by Jamaica Kincaid which shows that a mother is too overprotecting towards her daughter. She controls many aspects of her daughter life. She also tells her daughter how to walk so she looks like a lady the slut you are so bent on becoming (Kincaid 410). I think the main reason behind why the mother tells her daughter how to walk is because mother is afraid of her reputation. She doesn’t want that her daughter looks like a slut. Because in some parts of world if the girl is slut before marriage then the people think that the girl does not belong to good family that has good reputation in the society. So, there is so much difficulty finding boy that is ready to marry the girl. But there are no restrictions on boys they can do whatever they do. This is because the society gave attention what girls are doing not to what boys are doing. According to me the main reason why the mother gave over attention towards the activities of her daughter is that she is afraid of society. So, she wants her girl to look and behave like society is expecting. But because of over protectiveness the girl feels upset.
Likewise, A article published by Lesley Milne named as “Gender inequalities and Child bearing” shows the research how the south Asian societies expects that male always has upper hand over the women. In Nepal a husband controls many aspects of her wife. Like when the woman is pregnant and ready to give a birth to a child. Her husband decides whether he takes his wife to hospital or not. He does not care about the safety of women life. Also, the male or other older members of the family only want a boy child. So, the women goes to doctor to ensure that whether it is girl or boy. The main reason behind ensuring that whether it is girl or boy is that in some societies girl child is not considered good. So if there is girl child then the husband forces his wife to abort the child whether she is ready or not to abort the child. But sometimes the woman raise voice against it that it is very rare chance and it leads to divorce and many other problems in husband and wife relationships. So sometimes because of society expectations we lost our partner.
Following this a study done by Jordan E Montgomery named as “ Parents At-risk and their children; Intersections of gender role attitudes and Parenting practises. Though the society always believe that father is responsible for financial support to the family and mother is responsible for the care of the children. But a research is conducted by the author in which most of the women complaint lack of parental role of father. So because of lack of participation in the development of child leads to argument between husband and life. The main reason behind the less participation of male in the growth of the child is the society believes that father provides only financial support. Because of society expectations the parents need to control their girls while giving freedom to their boys. Because society give attention to what girls are doing not to boys activities. Sometimes the girls feel upset because of this and it leads to conflict with their parents. So when conflict arises sometimes the children decides not to follow their parents instructions. So because of this sometimes they adopt bad habits that ruin their whole future.
In the end to conclude all the evidences how the society expectations effect the close relationships. I want to say that we should look after only those expectations which is good and genuine for whole society not for those expectations which ruins a relationship. We should treat men and women equally and give equal rights to them. So our family relations run smoothly and there is no conflict between any family member.