My values, morals, and ethics come from the combination of my experiences with my friends and family. I believe that these come from how I have personally navigated my relationships with other people. My actions determine how I treat others, what I do in certain situations, and when I choose to prioritize myself and my needs against the people I care about. Although my values, morals, and ethics have been based off of those of other people, I feel that over time I have come to modify what I’ve learned to absorb and live what best works for me.
I owe a lot of my ideas and ways of thinking to the people in my life. The main idea that my family has taught me is to be a good person. Off the top of my head, there are no specific details that come to mind. It was up to me to determine what that meant. However, so far, I haven’t had any complaints from them. I’ve done what I can to make sure that I disappoint them. They are usually blunt and honest and will call me out on anything if they think what I’m doing is wrong. They will correct me if anything I do or say bothers them. On the flip side, a majority of my ethics code is highly influenced by my interactions with friends and romantic partners that I’ve made throughout adolescence and through college. It is through trial and error that I develop my own personal code of ethics based on these relationships.
I’ve come to believe that my personal code of ethics is most similar to the concepts of deontology and virtue ethics. The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime mentioned in an ethics presentation that for deontology, “morality depends on conformity to moral principles” (2018). An action under deontology is based on whether or not it is right or wrong. The consequences are not as important.
For virtue ethics, “morality depends on perfecting one’s character” (UNODC, 2018). I want to make decisions and act in ways that make me a better person in general. Virtue ethics are preferred because it is very much person-based and put the individual at the forefront. I’ve always been one to take care of myself and portray myself in a way that is pure and accepted, and I feel that virtue ethics takes that into consideration first.
Building a personal code of ethics can be a long and tiring process, but if I keep one idea at bay then it should be a little bit of an easier process. For now, the idea of protecting my reputation and character is most important. That encompasses my values, feelings, and everything that makes me myself.
Personal Code of Ethics: Code 1
I will not water myself down to make other people comfortable. I will stay true to myself and continue to be myself, even if it does not please other people. I will not hide my identities that make me feel different—being Asian and being queer. This code is a negative ethical principle: “Negative ethics are prohibitions that take the form ‘You shall not…’.” (Howard & Korver, p. 39).
In this case, one test of rationalization that can be applied is the role-model test. The role-model test asks the following: “Would we do the same if our action exemplified the behavior we would expect from our children?” (Howard & Korver, p. 45). I would not want my future kids to feel like they should hide parts of themselves to make other people feel better. Holding and hiding a minoritized identity can be detrimental to one’s mental health, especially if they already feel as though that identity is not supported—with or without individuals who share the same identity. I do not want my kids to feel ashamed just because they are different.
This ethical standard reflects a good for the majority, which is supported by the philosopher Mill. I believe this fits due to my belief that the majority of people are good. By Mill, “Actions are right in proportion as they tend to promote happiness, wrong as they tend to produce the reverse of happiness.” I want to be happy and I want my kids to be happy. If I am being my most authentic and good self while embracing all of my social identities, I believe I will remain happy.
Violations of this code include situations where my safety is put at risk. For example, I will hide my queer identity if I know that I could be put in a position where I could be physically hurt or killed. In those situations, it would be appropriate to water my identity so that I stay safe and protected. Additionally, if I know there’s potential for an identity to be attacked, then I will not shine a light on it unless I know I have people around me that support me.
This code can be attributed to the Common Good Approach, which says that “life in community is good in itself and our actions should contribute to that life” (Markkula Center for Applied Ethics, 2009). If I water myself down and hide parts of my identity, I will not be able to find a community that welcomes me with open arms and supports me. I would not be acting in the best interest of the community.
Personal Code of Ethics: Code 2
I will not intentionally harm others. This is a negative ethical standard. A test of rationalization I can apply to this ethical standard is the front-page test. This test asks, “Would we think the same way if it were to be reported on the front page of the Wall Street Journal?” (Howard & Korver, p. 45). After my violations are considered, my answer is yes.
Violations of this ethical code would be harming in self-defense or harming to protect a loved one who is being harmed by another person. These two violations are the most significant because they are the only ways that I can envision myself directly knowing why I am physically harming another human being. As always, my safety and health are at the forefront, but I also want to protect the people I care about if I can. That’s how I know if harming another person is worth it.
This ethical standard reflects good for the majority. For example, I will harm another person if it saves a bunch of other innocent people. If I had to chance to stop someone from intentionally harming or killing others, then I would try to do so in order to keep a majority of people safe and well. In my everyday life, I have no reason to intentionally harm others as I go about my day. I feel as though intentionally harming another would be in extreme cases.
The Utilitarian Approach best fits this ethical standard. This “produces the greatest balance of good over harm” (Markkula Center for Applied Ethics, 2009). I feel as though this ethical standard is very much consequence-based. If I violate the standard and harm someone, I have to think about what the impact of my action will be, and then that will determine if my taking action was necessary at the moment.
Personal Code of Ethics: Code 3
I shall not intentionally lie to or deceive others. This also is a negative ethical standard because I am once again using the template of not doing something. A test of rationalization that can be used for this code is the other-shoe test, which asks “the age-old question: how would we feel if the shoe were on the other foot?” (Howard & Korver, p. 45). It is very similar to what most people know as the golden rule.
For myself, it would be acceptable to lie if telling the truth would hurt the other person more than it would help them. This would apply to the general idea that you should lie to save someone’s feelings—including small white lies. This is the overarching concept I would allow as a violation of this code. Because of this, I believe it is a concept good for the majority.
Once again, when a concept is good for the majority, it is based on consequences. One of the most common, yet simplest consequences in this case would be to make my loved ones feel good about themselves. Kant would not agree with this principle because he prohibits lying in any case, even if it would make people happier than hurt. That is where our ideas are classed with one another.
The approach that best fits this ethical standard is the Virtues Approach. Virtues are “dispositions and habits that enable us to act according to the highest potential of our character and on behalf of values like truth” (Markkula Center for Applied Ethics, 2009). With this code, I would have to think about how my actions affect my character and if I’m acting in a way that supports the best version of myself.
Future of Ethics
As a future student affairs professional—more specifically, a future Academic Success Coach—my personal code of ethics would still apply. Student affairs is a person-centered field and I feel as though the majority of my time will be spent in one-on-one interactions with college students. Assuming I develop close relationships with the students that I work with, there would be some type of emotional attachment to them. That is also the nature of student affairs work. It can be emotionally taxing. Many of my ethical principles are violated to protect others or their feelings. The same can easily be done for the students that I care for.
Moving forward through life, I think it would be a good idea to continue crafting my personal code of ethics. I want to build a code that can be applied to most, if not all of my relationships and different parts of life: social, work, education, etc. Whatever the case may be, I just want my personal code of ethics to be authentic to me in order to present an authentic version of myself to the world. That’s what is right for me.