My name is Divyajyoti Swain and I was born on 18th January 2002 at the Military Hospital in Danapur, Bihar. Even though I originally belong to Odisha, due to my father’s natural job, I was born in Bihar. I was a C-section born as there were some complications during my birth which led to some painful procedures for my mother. I had always wanted a sibling and my sister was born three years later in 2005. I have been brought up in an army environment which I take great pride in. This also makes it a bit difficult for me to relate with my civilian friends who have had a very different approach to life from the beginning. I started walking at the age of 8 months. Even though I used to babble a lot, my first clear words came at the age of ten months in the form of “mama”. My dad was not around much during my early childhood due to his job. In addition, my mother is a teacher. I was mostly looked after by my mother and in her absence, my dad’s buddy. Buddy in simple words is a seopy assigned to an army officer in a battle time or peace time to help each other. My father’s buddy who we refer to as “bhaiya” in the army language was where I learned my basic life skills like tying my shoelaces, eating on my own, etc. I have changed 11 schools in total because of our postings and it has both positively and negatively affected my academics. I was a fast learner and even skipped a class and was well adept in my academics. I had a knack for reading from childhood which I picked up from my father. As we moved a lot it gave a boost to my social skills as I would make friends very easily but it also affected me adversely as it became difficult for me to attach to people. Our bhaiya introduced me to football and I fell in love with the sport. I practiced and refined my skills and even represented two states at the national level. I also developed an interest in golf side by side. I also developed a love for adventurous activities like mountaineering and sailing. This contributed to a great part of my physical development.
Erik Erikson formulated 8 stages and believed that development occurs in a pre-determined manner through these stages. According to Erikson, each stage has a conflict that the human being goes through and each stage builds on to the next. These conflicts are psychosocial that is how the psychological growth of human beings conflicts with social interactions in society. Success in completing a stage would result in the individual getting a desired quality where as failure would result in an unhealthy personality and a lack of sense of self. Each step has a basic virtue that is important in itself and the success or failure to incorporate it would have a long-term impact on one’s personality. In the following section, I relate my life incidents to each stage I have gone through.
Trust versus Mistrust
This is the first stage in Erikson’s theory ranging from birth to around 12 months. The virtue of this stage is hope. As the child has no clue about the world and is fully dependent on his caregivers, the development of trust depends on how well and consistently the appropriate care is provided. I was provided with all-around care during my initial years. The people around me went to extraordinary lengths to look after my well-being. My major source of crying was when I felt hungry as it was my only way to express it and I was very well tend to in such situations. This helped me successfully develop a strong feeling of trust and hope in the world around us.
Autonomy versus Shame
This is the second stage ranging from 1 to 3 years. The virtue of this stage is will. Children develop a sense of independence and control over their decisions as they identify their place in the world. This depends on how protective and supportive their parents are. As in the military a lot of importance is given to being independent, I was brought up with very much of the same ethos. I was encouraged from a young age to do things on my own like select my clothes and serve my food. I was also toilet trained at a young age so I could be more independent. I was allowed to go out and venture into the field trying out new activities and sports and positively corrected of any of my wrongdoings. This helped me become more independent and gain self-confidence
Initiative versus Guilt
This is the third stage ranging from 3 to 6 years. The virtue of this stage is purpose. Children begin to assert control by taking initiative through social interactions and play. Success at this stage results in the child gaining the ability of leadership, good interpersonal skills, and taking initiative where as a failure to develop adequately results in the child with self-doubt and guilt. As kids, I and my friends employed the strategy that each day we would play a different game suggested by the other. My parents never questioned or restricted me about my friends and believed that I needed to learn and experience what was good and bad. Even though these small things seemed insignificant at that moment, they play a major role in shaping the self-confidence and leadership skills I have today.
Industry versus Inferiority
This is the fourth stage ranging from 6 to 12 years. The virtue of this stage is competency. Children begin to be more independent and compare themselves with their peers and win their approval by showing competencies and developing a sense of pride. If the child is positively encouraged, he or she may achieve great self-confidence and achieve their goals where as a lack of encouragement would lead to an opposite effect where the child would begin doubting his abilities and not reach full potential. As I had changed six schools by then, it became difficult for me to grasp concepts, unlike other students. Moreover, my interest in sports was criticized by my teachers who would shout at me in front of the whole class. This affected both my sports and my academics as I started doubting my capabilities. Luckily my parents and my football coach helped me overcome this by arranging for extra classes and motivating me to cope well. This has helped me to boost my self-confidence and make me manage my time better.
Identity versus role confusion
This is the fifth stage ranging from 13 to 18 years. The virtue of this stage is fidelity. This is a very crucial stage as adolescents look for a sense of self and explore and assess their beliefs and values and look at the future. According to Erikson, there are two identities involved in the stage: sexual and occupational. Success and failure at this stage have long-term impacts as they may result in a strong sense of self-identity and a strong set of priorities or a weak sense of identity and confusion about what they want from the future. As I had always been around and interacting with young army officers, I knew from the beginning that I wanted to join the Indian Army. To this date, I am fascinated with the traditions and the honor of the army. Even though this gave me a strong motivation towards what I wanted to become, it made me more arrogant towards the general civilian population. I found my other friends lacking the discipline and the basic courtesy which I had always been accustomed to which made me despise them. I have worked on this issue and have been able to reduce it significantly but have not been able to completely overcome it.
The major problem I faced was as I mentioned Identity and role confusion. My arrogance became very evident as my parents also started questioning it. Even my friend circle started questioning this as I would react coldly with anyone outside our group. After seeing army life I found civilian life very easy and less demanding. In addition, I would see the young officers have the utmost discipline, selflessness, and honor which I couldn’t in the civilian population. This made me very egoistic and scornful toward others. My parents noticed this when I would not interact properly with the children of their civilian friends. My father advised me about the situation as and his friends felt the same thing when they were in military school. To improve on this issue I joined Christ University rather than the National Defence Academy. This helped me to put myself in the shoes of others and experience life as they do which helped me a lot to understand the biases I had. As I experience city life all alone with my friends I tend to appreciate it better and even enjoy it a lot. Even though sometimes I despise people having a normal college with my NCC friends, I still have improved upon a lot to respect and understand the differences. A very crucial aspect of this stage is to be open to all perceptions and ideas. Those who look at things with a closed mindset face problems later in life but those who understand and appreciate all ideas and differences tend to have a true self of identity and achieve greater things.