even the sheets on the guest bed ( guest bed ! ) `` she does n't see us '' `` she does n't see anything . '' he didnt want his fellow band members to hear or see his difficulty with the pain . and once i was out of the house , i just never met anyone who understood me that well . he said , bring as much toilet paper , bleach , and eggs that you can carry . he smiled with one side of his mouth , his hand coming up to cup my cheek . 