when you could n't give it to me , i pulled an utterly selfish and despicable move by cheating on you . '' i do n't know if i can do this , '' i said . she looked away quickly as if wanting to hide her eyes from him . personally , she believed it was the result of the fact that he had n't been murdered like the rest of them . i dont know where it tis , she said , shutting the door . even with me holding her up , she still sways from side to side . 