im going to show you this once , only . alan looked kim over and grinned . `` i need lee nightingale breathing down my neck like i need a hole in my head . i swear i feel mist from the raging ocean when i stare at the lighthouse . she blinked several times because holly was no longer in clear focus , and shook her head . `` i knew you would hate me for it . he had a direction , a point of reference for the one he sought . 