my palms were damp , my knees were weak , and my heart raced as if it were trying to use up its entire quota of lifetime beats in the next ten minutes . my safe place to rest my head when it wo n't stop torturing me . i push him away and stumble backward , then slap him , hard . but dreams like this were never real . i want to know what will happen . the soft , plastic pack hits him in the forehead . 