you only shield this hard when you 're scared , really scared . '' `` amazing , '' was all i could think of to say . she was right , too , about being close to her grandmother . his eyes closed , and the hand beside my head pushed into the mattress as his jaw worked . she estimated that he was in his late forties . the music faded far too soon for his liking , but as they drifted to a stop before his mother , he remembered that there was still one very important matter to attend to . 