she knew how much i would miss her ; she knew how much i needed to hear from her . if it is the last thing i do . but there will also be no medicine for him when he is sick , and never enough food to go around , and winters so cold the mornings are like a punch to the gut . she didnt hesitate to tell her parents that she saw herself ending up with me . oh my god , nick , you wouldnt . how is it that you seem to be an expert at almost everything ? 