right now , only the three of us know what it means , but one day , people will associate this abstract design with safety and security . we can go through the yellow pages , kitty said . all the stuff was behind her . a choice i did n't get to make for myself . `` well , you kind of threw me into the bed , or sort of ... pushed me . '' my hands are starting to get sweaty . lets sit here until she goes , okay ? 