ruby 's voice was so calm , so casual , it was as if we had n't just had a come-to-jesus meeting two minutes before . forgetting his question , i grabbed his hand and turned it over , placing my palm against his , feeling the salt of popcorn all over the tips of his fingers . nobody would ever live up to her , but fortunately it did n't matter . it 's not there that the sap is . i felt his every contour ; i even felt the rapid pounding of his heart . 