just as she hits the hall , she calls out , `` go , if you want ! he opened himself up , inviting , but the contact faded . things do n't get any more black and white than that . '' `` but it seems like -- '' `` we just do n't do that . '' i wipe my eyes with my arm . a weak moment that has caused more pain and aggravation in the world than can be measured . `` i received a call at four forty-five on my personal line today . 