i lifted my finger to ring the doorbell . not that i know what i 'd say to him . `` you could buy yourself hundred-dollar panties but you did n't want a new couch ? '' they told me she 'd benefit from a special school . my own family abandoned me to the gutter , forced me to work for a living like a common citizen . i tremble beneath his touch with nothing to hold on to in order to steady myself , and my knees buckle as he kisses up my thigh . 