i go somewhere in the middle of the pack of the initiates , and for the first time , i 'm not even a little bit nervous . sam looked at the phone and shrugged , setting it down on the coffee table . with the window still down , the air rushes at me as the truck picks up speed . i had to close my eyes and hold up a hand before he got right beside the bed . i had n't counted on maria trying to make this difficult . 