he walked down the streets and into the little park close to the motel and sat at a picnic table . a small voice which came from intelligent reasoning told him that she was dead . son , what is it you are feeling ? `` but we do n't need him , '' she insisted . i rolled my eyes at the question . i could feel it sliding through me . '' it was n't until he 'd said that he was n't there for me that i realized how much i wanted him to be there for just that very reason . 