'it 's only for two weeks , ' i told them , 'you will love your big brother and your grandma . i deserve no mercy and she deserves no sadness . `` ward a of this institution is the building behind me to my right , the male ward . she looks slightly embarrassed so i wink at her and shut her front door behind me . `` you can always ask me anything , '' he says , pulling me deeper into him and pressing my head into his warm chest . 