he grabbed for the post as he went down , caught it for an instant , lost his grip , and crashed in a heap in the garden bed below . this could really screw up his plans . he tended to the small flame until it was strong enough to fend for itself . anna ash had been very much alive - fierce of will , protective , determined . `` giving him up for even a few minutes is difficult . she takes a reluctant step toward the bedroom , so i turn away and head to my room . 