forget the idea of gaining some discipline around her . `` the beautiful part of it is that it 's completely harmless unless one gets excited . he shook it back and forth . you have to be prepared to adjust to any changing condition . i 'd get nowhere convincing him i needed to help my friends , and anyway , i had my own quest now . i wish i had the right to ask a woman to share that life and understand when i had to be away for long periods of time . 