he had no choice ; he gripped her elbow , his thumb on the inner flesh , and pressed as hard as he could . it takes effort to pretend to eat while sliding my black boots between cracks in the floor to make contact with the ground . the more mysteries i collected the more secrets i would have to keep from other people . someone might have seen him there . i was trying to keep my temper . returning to your seat beside the window . after all , what use was mourning when the man would never be hers ? 