the family tradition was that no one could question the story or the reading the person leading the service had chosen . she was bawling with snot running down over her lips . `` not really , but angel would probably have a few things to say if i did n't at least attempt to keep her friend from a murder rap . '' i still had nightmares occasionally , but they grew less and less . the shame in my failure was enough with just me knowing about it . i 'd go to where there are thirty billion new hosts too . '' 