i could have , but i didnt know it was her , and when i did know , i did think about how much it would hurt both of you if it was her . i do n't want to be viewed as the kind of person you just made me feel like . '' he only wished he could lock it away deep inside of himself and never let it see the light of day again . `` are you trying to convince me or yourself ? '' `` you saw how aggressive those troops were . 