he told the driver as he pointed to the road running across the back of the motor pool . `` i 'm sorry i had to leave you alone , '' he said , hugging me . then he laid the gun down on the table and walked to the door with his hands up in the air . `` do you want to bury him ... `` i do n't know how you can take such a beating and still protect him . '' she watched for a few more minutes before her brain circled around to what this could mean . 