soul sick at having to accept this. i want him to be well, and not be in this awful place in his life. and since i cant change reality, it hurts. but, i am going about my business and nobody in my normal life would know that i go through all this, as i put my face on and smile. but at home and during times of terrible feelings and events, i cry into my pillow. that is all i can do. i do have hope that the future can be different. but i know that is not even mine to try to manage. thanks for listening.
i am happy you 