sitting on the bunk , he kicked off his shoes . an emotions caught in my throat , but short of shoving my fingers down there and making myself vomit , its not going to come up . it 's cowardly , i know , but i do n't know how to face him , not after last night . `` when shall we do this thing ? '' how exactly did we do that ? i dont think we need them , but a little insurance wont hurt . now they needed it , but there were no messages . 