he watched her walk with appreciation of her small hard body and realized that she no longer wore the kimono . and then the tears are gone , but not her frustration . it did n't bother him , but he had things to do , so he decided to announce his presence . mark didnt know what to say . the officers all looked very unsure . i knew what i was going to do , but whether i had the strength for it was another matter . that was always the first move , to throw my own life before theirs . 