and as far as your fear about death is concerned , well i assure you it is nothing to be afraid of . what if i trip , or laugh when the minister 's talking ? '' i will keep the lamp burning , and will call you if i need you . '' but she does n't even have to know where i got it from . no matter what happens in life . i wish i knew who the father was . gripping the edges of the leather seat , i nodded as my stomach twisted . 