loved and wanted, but hurt in the real physical sense of what is happening to your body. i was holding my pillow and crying, begging for it to stop but not really wanting it to stop because that would mean my baby was gone. it took a day and a half and then it was 3am and i was crawling down the hallway on my hands and knees. the walls of the hallway tilted up at me and i was sure i was going to throw up. a sharp stab of pain sent me scrambling again and i pulled myself onto the cool bathroom floor. i was sobbing so hard 