`` how in the hell did you even find out ? '' i needed her to suggest it , to offer it , so i didnt feel like i was just using her . i 'm mid sip , and her admission makes me suck in a breath-or drink rather-down the wrong way , sending me into a coughing fit . i do n't want him to see what this does to me . hell , it 's more your kitchen than mine . prudence possessed james 's heart and soul . its a little further , and then we can stop and rest . 