i went floppy in his arms , focused only on him . `` go sit down and watch overboard . i 'd signed out , put an estimated time of return , and basically done everything like this was just a normal trip . he rocked back and forth , holding her in his arms as her tears wet his chest . he turned and stumbled into his office , his eyes still on the pages . waited for the forest service to get it right and put him back with his crew . 