though grateful theres a door to the stall he will soon enter , he is also totally stressed about what to do after he spills his wee . the image faded as he watched leaving the handle as plain and metallic as it was a moment ago . but i had also grown past it ; my last joint years ago with joeys father in a life that felt like it belonged to someone else . i did not mean to encourage your sister in any way . just the way he looks at me does weird things to my heart , mother . 