`` i hope your room 's close , '' i said lightly , determined to steady myself . i knew they both thought it would be safer if this really were good-bye forever . to do that i need to understand the truth . the plush velvet walls and cushions embraced her , and she rested her head back and tried not to think about what a disaster her life had become . i do n't care what you hear ; do not open that door . `` i want to see , '' cassie managed to choke out . 