if the thing could break the door , would n't it have already done that ? she tried to swallow , but there was nothing to swallow . `` something tells me it may not work itself out at all . '' i fish out my blackberry and try frantically to find her phone number . i do n't have anything left to give , and yet it 's more critical than ever- '' `` hush , sweetheart . '' `` since when did you ever need anyone 's permission ? '' `` you want me to get a fire going ? '' 