this is the most recent map available . this kind of massaging , i can stand . i felt someone approaching me from behind then , and for a moment , i worried that the woman was going to try and start something with me . i reached out to comfort him when he lowered his eyes to his lap . all i can tell you is that i love you , and youve done the best you could . hot tears spill down my cheeks and soak into the pillow . 