you 're dealing with something you ca n't understand . she deserved a mild , pleasant new life with the flowers . when there was none , he stood slowly and looked around . could we buy this place and start the cottage before we had to decide about leaving the city forever ? but he neither refused nor accepted . how far am i willing to take this ? `` you can hold on to me if you need to . '' i shook my head as i stared at him , confused . 