calm , i had to stay calm , and i had to think . no , im not mad at all . he was n't expecting to be followed or chased . '' two bent cigarettes were all that were left inside the wrinkled pouch . he 'd married my mother when i was a toddler , and we shared many happy years together as a family . `` but if you knew then so did father . '' i 'm simply too busy to spend time developing a relationship . '' but it wasnt possible that he was watching me . 