i did n't know before , when i came through . he dropped his gaze to the stairs . or will there be a last day that i can mark on the calendar ? oh hush , not in front of my dog . i want to be first to find the body . '' after all the pain he 'd caused , i could n't forgive him as we stood there side by side , but someday i would try . he asked me to dinner as a professional courtesy . who else could possibly have known ? 