`` it was like ... instinct , but instinct i was clearly aware of . i kept thinking if i worked hard enough to make up for the things he did , i could somehow make it better , but i ca n't . a second later , its fist hammered down , and then it found a bent aluminum ladder in a pile of junk and slammed it down at me . but the embassy has a copy , i have a copy ? i think this is the first time i have ever been relieved to see robin . 