at all. that the people we love are never lost fully, they are just loving us in a new form. they are here and there, everywhere and nowhere. above us, below us, behind and before us. just around the corner. but never gone. still, i dread this day. i want it to be over because hearing it and feeling it and seeing it on the home screen of my phone hurts my heart the way eating ice cream too fast hurts your brain. but i’m also learning to use this day to check in. to ask myself if the things i’m worrying so much about could even be seen from 