`` and once you are here , you can never leave . '' he was cooking on the grill . he 'd give this one more day , then think of something else to do . the only man she 'd ever or would ever love . i could n't stop the slow grin that spread over my face . when it was shriveled and dead in my hands , i let it drop as i wiped my mouth with the back of my hand . i stared in disbelief and horror , frozen for a few moments . 