i wanted to ask him to close the distance between us , to slide his body along the back of mine , but i did n't . now that he had them , he doubted he 'd want to light them . as he got to the door he stopped and then turned and said : how many regular men are here ? as i begin the familiar movements , a sense of calm settles over me , as if the exercises themselves pull me back into myself , reminding me of who and what i am . 