`` damn , '' he muttered , feeling a surprising sense of loss . he shivered as he fought for control , trying desperately to separate what he felt from what she felt . it was both an invitation and a target . if im on my own i avoid the roads . `` i wo n't be a part of this craziness . i mean , that way you would get a great scoop , right ? `` you 're the only one who will know about it . 