only four, but i kept counting them.
the second time was just before the surgery. i was in a semi-lit hallway with my parents right there. i remember saying how sorry i was for fighting with my father. i felt i might have been punished for arguing with him.
the thing that probably surprised me the most was my own reaction to the doctor telling me i will likely never walk again. most people would probably cry. i felt nothing. i had no reaction. i had a stronger reaction to the pudding i ate after being on a feeding tube for three days.
i thought i would change after all that. i did 