`` you see , your father told me to stay away from you-he accused me of destroying our baby and newly destroying your life . i have never understood how he could just stand there and take a killing blow without trying to defend himself . '' they were large , but he 'd tied the laces tight , and my toes felt toasty warm . a muffled , far away voice carried to me . i put my head to my forehead . at first , people were reluctant to speak , and then it got deep . 