i was too embarrassed and shocked to feel any pain . what he could not see was how extraordinarily he looked like his father just then . the small blind was twenty bucks and the big blind was forty . otherwise , will send word when i have my new address . then he goes in to save them . '' long enough that i realized how badly i wanted for them to need me . i blinked down at him , staring into that innocent face . its the heart of the community . 