i will take as many guards as you wish me to take '' . i saw my words hit him like a blow . he hated the note of panic in his voice . but i know he 's waiting for something special tonight . do you , you know , hold services ? '' barely registered that it had left most of the pins standing . did n't she owe this much to herself ? there was an intercom button next to the up and down ; she slapped her palm on it , juggling the package clumsily . 