he only leaned his head against the oak trunk . `` he would be a total nightmare as a father-in-law . '' ben wrestled with it for a few hours before he made up his mind . pete grabbed me and pushed me over toward the nurse . this is really happening , he kept telling himself . i hit him in the face and he lost his balance and fell backward and hit his head on the wall . and i breathe deep when we 're on our way home . this was what sailing was all about . 