this did not push me out of "balance" there would be no growth. i suppose the edge of exhaustion is not good either, but who is to say. do i rely on some nebulous destination called "balance" to tell me or do i just go for it and achieve what i can until i don't want to any more. i am fairly certain i will never arrive and start sailing along effortlessly. i am even more sure that there is no such thing as "balance" in the way we use the word as adults. it is only some fantasy of arrival that we have created that can never really be 