a sense of amusement filled me , and i realized how sick that was , but i could n't help myself . i reluctantly agreed that he didnt have to tell us who . please call me if you 'd like to do that sometime , '' she said to the older woman , her voice lower and more controlled . what else can i say about this story ? `` i already have , '' i admitted , and felt the weight of trying to be strong for so long drop away from me . 