that spark of strength she had always carried had gone out . cole after sam had disappeared to `` work , '' whatever that was , i poured myself a glass of milk and wandered back into the living room to look through some drawers . he was an uncle now and thrilled with the idea . no ... it was a serious blow to my self-esteem . `` chase , please , '' she said in the wake of his silence , squeezing his hands tighter . now it seems like a stupid idea . 