the important part is that the world has always been back and white for me . i always managed to disappoint dad in some way and that made things harder for her . he did n't suppose he would get much sleep , but he would try . he stood still for a moment before he turned on his heel and left the house . her heart jumped and her stomach rolled . he could have me , but he refused to move . i 'm used to running a lot , but maybe we could not get up at the crack of dawn . 