i see this sort of thing keeps going on i wonder why in the world i ever came here. and it makes me think of strange things. the weird life in this fantastic place gives me the feeling of being in a frightful nightmare from morning to night and is bringing a curse down on my head. i realize that if i tell all this to someone he can’t possibly understand, and i become even more miserable since i’m forced to think i’m the only one in the world who’s surrounded by demons. and sometimes it seems as if i’m going out of my mind. in fact i begin to 