i had n't given up on us , exactly , but i wanted concrete changes to show him first . she looked up at me and , after a long pause , said , `` my dad went away . '' as her eyes adjusted to the darkness , she made out the shape of a boy in front of her . snow flew in with a huge gust of wind . he joked about a lot of things but she knew he wasnt joking about this . he might have seen his mother , but hed been a toddler . 