i coughed spit and vomit as i took out my thirst for violence by throwing book after book as hard as i could manage . `` help me get him to the emergency room . his long , dark lashes fell on his white cheeks and his curls lay upon the pillow . i shook my head to clear the thought , then checked my watch . he 'd never had a reaction to a woman the way he did to saber . `` oh , no , are you actually giving me a hug ? '' 