*** i did n't go back outside right away . the sky overhead was tattered and black , wild and fascinating . i wan na eat you then f**k you again . '' it took her a few minutes to realize james had n't joined her . see , that is what i am doing right now . then , more softly : `` i 'd like it if you stayed . '' it 's not what you think , he 'd said . i got out from under the platform and tore the envelope open , my fingers shaking . 