too much , he said immediately , take some weight back and try to balance . `` if you had n't spent every day after you got out of the hospital avoiding me when i was out on bail , then i would have told you then what i 'm telling you now-none of this is your fault . eric placed a hand lightly on her shoulder , and she shook her head , eyes still closed , and he removed it , placed it on his knee and looked at it as if he was n't sure how it had gotten there . 