i did n't want him to come home . it was dangerous game he liked to play . i fell into his arms and gave the first hug i had ever given to a real person from my real family . there was no doubt a knife was tucked in her silverware drawer , but it was across the room . for a second no one could speak . any one of the three will do . '' you can be on one side , ill be on the other . together they descended the rear steps to the waiting horses outside . 