grinning , gray said , `` well , if you said it just like that i ca n't imagine why she was n't jumping for joy . there is n't anything else you want to tell me ? '' everything inside me was numb from fear . a part of her wanted to weep when she felt his pain . the times you ye tried to kill yourself since , you were just playing catch up . `` are you going out for fireworks ? '' i do n't want you to crush them . '' 