then the implication of his sentence hit me . dee would probably kill me for not being able to take part . i did n't know my other neighbors on the floor that well but i knew they were in their mid-twenties . after everyone ate their breakfast , the grownups started setting up basketball nets . when i got to my room , i locked the door , climbed into bed , and buried myself under the covers . you wanted a man to love you . '' you dont know where the rest of it is , he explained . 