`` my brother ... '' my voice is soft , too soft . he grunted and groaned struggling to maintain what was left of him . the striped umbrellas over the tables look inviting . it would be bad for their business . he was suffocating on imaginary smoke . hopefully , he could break through her wall enough so they could talk out the rest of their issues afterward . she rubber-stamped the back of the check with for deposit only then rose and gathered her gear . he pressed himself against me , but not inside . 