right now im just so happy ... she found herself reaching out her free hand and touching the old womans hair . compare with scanning data from the very beginning of the expedition . i dont know how , but i must do it somehow , and immediately . he really should move south as he had first intended . but at the moment i am more like the maintenance crew . and how f**kin ' pathetic is it that 's even a possibility ? how could i not laugh at that ? 