suddenly his balls and the pit of his stomach were crawling with dismay , and he felt like a child again , a confused child who only knows for sure that he has done something bad . in his experience of well over two thousand years , he 'd made that particular philosophy his own . i am not allowed to go outside . were just spending a little time together , having a little fun . there was something there , something that kicked in when you got close . i moved it and placed it around her shoulders . 