`` not that you deserve it in any way at all . he hoped mentioning a child would be the thing that tipped the scale in his favor , its partially why he used it . perhaps the more her suffering was involved , the more the boy would love her . `` f-sharp , '' she whispered , and i hit two at a time . and she was screaming something that made no sense at all , 'what fresh hells await me now ? ' like my dad trusted me when he told me in the first place . '' 