so i stared at my computer for the hundredth time , starting a sentence or two , then erasing it , staring some more , and starting again , only to erase again while the clock moved on . i just moved all the heat out of the water . yeah , now and then , he agreed and then stopped . it was the only weapon i had . she could deal with something else . then he decided , so be it . `` think of your little boy , all alone , no mother , no father ? 