`` although once he put the spell around me , everyone seemed to forget that . i desperately sought change , away from my horrid miserable past with my extended family and the memory of my dad . damn it , what was the matter with him ? this one was missing his hat . usually when he offered his aid , people accepted . `` what was going through her head ? '' she looked desperately at bond , `` my boat ! as the large door shut on me , i screamed out . had he been in a dream state ? 