he scolded even as he hugged her . `` you used to be into this , remember ? '' `` i did n't want to tell you what i was doing in case you decided not to jump . '' `` it 'd be perfect over there by the stairs , so you can sleep in it on a sunny day and listen to the ocean below ... and remember how much he loved you . '' i remember the day when you played with the hose . he was afraid he was going to throw up . 