better. it has taken me almost 20 years to get to that stage. i still find it difficult now because at the time it was so raw. and also it is not like most people's grief, because everyone else knows about it, everyone knows the story, everyone knows her. it is a different situation for most people who lose someone they love, it can be hidden away or they can choose if they want to share their story. i don't have that choice really. everyone has seen it all.
the first time i met your mother, in 1994, she said, "why did you write those horrible things about me when you 