i simply close my eyes and let it all fade away . `` reach for the edge of the coffee table . '' well you are the homeland security agent , what do you think our strategy should be ? i am not going to fail her . ' `` there 's a printed list folded in my address book , in the top left drawer of my desk . i turned down the county road that led to the ranch and my palms started to sweat and my heart rate kicked up . 