both jules and may looked at me . and the 1911 model .45 that his great grandfather had carried in the first world war . take comfort in the fact that i shall always remember thee fondly when thou art gone , however . it will just have to be a surprise for you , just like it has been for everyone else . `` let him have whatever he pleases . '' determined not to get discouraged , he tried again . she did n't want to draw a lot of attention to herself . 