to squeeze joy out of everything. i don’t understand why you left. you were my first born. i loved everything about you. i can’t say any more today because the tears are flowing too much.
you would have been fifty today, my first born son. almost five years since you tore yourself out of our lives. yet, sometimes i feel you. sometimes as i think of you, a thought drifts into my mind that i know is from you. i loved the rainbow you sent me the other day while i was weeping over how i let you down. you told me so many times you would die the day i 