they went to the room on the other side of the hall and opened the door . i did n't even want to think about what mother would say when she came back . dead from the appearance of the throat wound . she could not keep herself from asking , `` why did n't you keep it all ? '' `` if it were a house , '' i answered after some serious consideration , `` i 'd call it a fixer- upper . '' she started to turn toward him , wanting to feel him inside her . 