, same numbers each week , the usual sort of thing people do - cost 20 1/2 pence each and i suppose that 's quite cheap for a dream of heaven . we were going to wait until the war ended . no one was supposed to find out . the engine is rumbling , ready to go , but we do n't move . my throat felt so tight i was sure i sounded like a frog . true , i said , but what if he dies ? i counted on making it up to her , anyway . 