as always , she stood there a moment , smiling , letting the strangers ' applause wash through her , fill her to overflowing . those images were there , in his mind , but were too much of a jumbled mess to make sense of . has it not occurred to you that it could just be the obvious hand of mother nature doing what she has done throughout time ? `` i think my choice was made for me the moment my family turned their backs on me . 