ah , life was back to normal . i wanted so much to go after him and to listen to such an interesting conversation . the world trembled at his anger . i was surprised it had taken him so long to make an attempt , although with my health being in question , i could understand why he 'd waited . james was there all the time . i have n't been able to shake it , no matter what . i know you want her , and denying yourself must be f**king hard . 