`` i 'm sorry , '' i said , wandering over and collapsing onto the sofa . she 'd planned on waking up next to him and making love to him again-with protection this time . we could n't live there permanently until hunter is much older , but we can spend time there . '' in reality , im running because im not allowed to escape this place by death . all this stuff out here , ' you waved your hand , 'even you , it 's all lost on me . ' 