i threw on the shirt i 'd slept in last night , my white polo , while i decided what to wear . he will take the book and do something dreadful . '' i felt as if i could burst at the seams . `` do you know how many of the families i have promised your hand to , and father before that ? i could n't afford you , but i wanted you . '' sawyer 's head snapped up but i did n't meet his gaze . 