i wished i did n't feel the invisible cord pulling me to him , wanting to touch him again , but i 'd be lying if i said i did n't . you want me to join the council ? the room was just like the room i had been in before the wall collapsed and it was filled with dirt . madeline shoved her against the door and stamped on the gas . part of me still only wanted him to see the perfect stuff-the perfect me . `` you pushed your sister down that ravine . 