i just want people to stop lying to me and tell me what is going on . he sounded out of breath when he continued . i just want to crawl out of my skin and be somebody else for a while . i cant afford to bail you out of jail either , i said , slamming down a book that had been next to my hand . that underneath my calm exterior , i 'm a terrified mess who 's tasting her first days of freedom and does n't know how to be a normal girl . 