did n't do anything save to tilt his head back against the couch and close his eyes . he thought of the number of trays of dirty dishes hed have to bus , the number of times hed have to mop the floor to make that kind of dough . i wished it was enough for me , but it wasnt . when i started to check it out , everything went down . this was what he was , who he was . `` so , you still have n't been able to find the one who killed your father , right ? '' 