sometimes i had bits of gossip that i kept back precisely for these moments . what if she did n't wake up again ? not a good start to the morning , but i did so want to win the half days holiday . id be the first to offer to leave , not that my size was the problem . he could see in my eyes that i was gon na do a job on him . but it was oh so much more . the engine was off and the guy was just waiting . 