her voice shook , but she cleared her throat before continuing in a stronger tone . looking around the room , i attempt to change the subject to something less stimulating . she wiggled the rabbit back and forth . instead , she 'd knocked all the pins down . oh god , do n't let her need help . mother took a deep breath , then another . `` i 'm too dirty to spend much time in polite company . '' `` we 're going to help you clean , honey . '' she even refused to take rent money . 