benjamin , his mother called , knocking again , please do n't be difficult . `` plus , the indoor swimming pool will be heated . `` i wonder what it will be like to be your age again . i 'm unable to control the quiver in my voice . i should n't be thinking of him in the first place . unfortunately , i did n't get my release papers until later that afternoon . i get to do all sorts of unfair things , and you have to accept them because you 're too polite not to . ' 