it was time to step back and wait for a woman he could really connect with . i lightly brush the boy in the wolf suit in the crook of his elbow . stars of pain exploded behind my eyes , but i shook it off quickly . i feel as if i 'm coming apart , the light tearing through me , breaking me into tiny particles . it was just a shock ... to find out that you can still ... '' i rested my hand in my lap . but really , she just felt numb . 