he had only wanted her money . when i thought about what it meant , i wanted to throw up . desperate to chase away negative thoughts that threatened to steal this fantasy moment from her , she stroked his shoulder blade . so as i look around at those books , i excitedly wonder what else i do n't know . we have more than enough bedrooms . `` do n't ever apologize for being yourself with me . he plays football all night and sleeps all day . i 'd tried everything ; short , long , in between . 