i 'd walked in and out of the freshman dorms many times , but that night it felt completely different . when she got out of bed and dressed herself she went into the kitchen to prepare breakfast and found thomas holding his son . i opened my mouth to scream but water rushed in and filled my tiny lungs . she said in a choked voice , `` you mean - `` `` yes . 'frankly , there 's not a hell of a lot here that 's very useful . ' 