you got one messed-up deal on the watchman case . '' all the time id spent here trying to figure out the rules , trying to play by them so that i could be a part of this world . sam had never known his eleven-year-old face had looked like that . so why are we here then ? they all looked up when he entered . so confusing that for half a slow-motion step , i turn toward him . she could n't be in a church if she was dead , yes ? 