could n't you be more like 'really sure ' or 'almost one hundred percent sure ' ? '' `` thought i might be coming to a fight . '' it was a straw i grasped with both hands . i do , he said , and i dont always feel good about it . you can look all your life , but you wont find it , because it doesnt exist . lifting her gaze slowly , her head followed . i stepped back into the room , holding the door wide . 