one strange sound during the night , and he 'd be outside in a flash with the judge 's .38 , loaded now . we 're going to get married . '' i checked the bathroom first and she was n't there . and as they made love , she wondered what it would be like if they did n't have the world to drive them apart . i realized i was in trouble on that occasion . she took his hand and he led her toward the bathroom . the weight in my stomach both lifted and grew heavier . 