but if the system breaks down , then lots of people will go hungry , whether they believe in this stuff or not . she waited a moment , and then asked , `` how 's that look ? '' it was n't easy to stay clean . he pushed himself off the counter to stand in front of me again . he 'd been forcing it down my throat since i was ten . i reached down and patted the pocket of my jeans for the hundredth time that day . 