looks odd/useless to people who don't understand that it's a coping mechanism for me, because... why can't i just sit down and focus?
because i can't. that's not the way my brain is built. i can't sit down and simply decide to think about a thing any more than i (as a deaf person) can sit down and simply decide to understand a person talking to me. but if the end goal is for me to work on thing x, to sit down and think about thing x -- that, i can do... but i will have to go about it differently.
yeah, this is sometimes frustrating... for all the obvious reasons, 