i think that was the first time i actually thought of him that way . i did my best to drown it out ; it was actually kind of gross . you were just in the hospital two nights ago . '' he tried to cover by getting back to his goal . `` do n't you remember how good we were ? mother and father may not see it , but all the kids can see youre not who you pretend to be . so she signed it all over . '' he stood by my side , looking down at me . 