i did n't put it together that , even as i was reaching for it because i wanted it so badly , i was n't going to allow myself to build any of that because he 'd taught me to be terrified of losing it . strangely enough , he looks totally taken aback by her opinion of him . i do need it , but you can not help me , sir . your future depends on this video . '' i dont want to ... become trouble again . 