i need to wrap my head around tonight , around what happened between us , the way i-i ... '' and she fell silent . `` i can bring it to you there . i looked through the house and you werent there . it looked exotic in a crazy sort of way . cursing under her breath , she rushed up the last few steps to the open-loft living room and then hurried to the phone on the marble counter on the far side of the room . `` i did n't find out what i was until i was a teenager . 