i find his eyes , and this time , i do n't bother to hide how pissed off i am . `` but i can see why he was mad . '' there was a whispering in the darkness , and someone laughed quietly . his beautiful naked body was back on top before she 'd taken two breaths . there was shock in her voice . i 'm afraid that even as much as i want you , sex could have been ruined for me because it 's somehow associated with him , who he was and what he did . 