i thought i 'd been ready for this , eager for this , but i really had n't been . the chorus of sighs and whispers around them grew louder and more feverish . `` got ta feed all these people . i was actually trying to get him to have a stroke . careful not to fall into its clutches , i pushed it backward while gripping its arms . it was n't like she expected me to attack her or anything , but she gave the distinct impression that she thought her little lap dogs were chewing her face off . '' 