i dont know how it feels to you , on the inside i mean , to be both , he was about to say her true name but didnt . my own lack of caution caused the accident , with the rest of the group filled with drink , he said with frustration . 'you intend to let me leave ? a week or so had passed and i had waited anxiously for this moment in my life . `` do it today , before you lose your nerve . '' she 'd thrown everything she could at the window with little success . 