`` i ca n't begin to imagine what it would do to a man to watch the woman he loved die slowly and in pain . '' it was n't that i did n't like sex , just that i could n't imagine anyone wanting me . so i knew that whatever weird pull this case and these people involved had on me was n't something i had ever experienced with a patient or their loved ones before . i had n't just gone through hell to be pushed away . its not tea i want , its you ! 