no time to even get out of the back door and go off on his own somehow , somewhere she 'd never find him . i was in complete control , at that moment i had complete and utter command over myself , i feared nothing , there was nothing that could do me the slightest harm , for i understood everything , everything that had happened , was happening and would happen . the cars were not parked so much as abandoned . i do n't want to go to dad 's house . `` take the first road after the depot . '' 