she knew the chance he was within 10 miles of here , wherever here was , was one in a million . just the thought had her toes curling . not knowing where we 're going next . we each have to do what we think is right in this , pete . and the really old books ... either they have crumbled all away or they are buried somewhere that i have n't looked yet or ... well , it could be that there are no such books and never were . then why have n't you found the silent deal yet ? 