she settles for just tangling her fingers in my hair tightly enough that it hurts , but that pain is a mere drop in the bucket compared to the fire in my ribs , the burning in my lungs . he 'd needed breathing room , the peace of nature , a chance to achieve a better perspective on a society he no longer trusted . `` how can you laugh when we have so little time left together ? '' he had promised this earlier and he was much , but no liar . 