she has had to be the bad guy who did all the unpleasant things for the past twenty years and thats just not fair to her . she nodded and spoke without rancor . i was just asking myself if i should ring your front door . he could spare five minutes , he thought . this time im not going to be so easy on you . hoped he could n't hear how loud my heart was beating . i expected better of you after the speech you made me a few minutes ago . '' i know how you felt back then . 