the wagon was the only option . please , please let her be alive . all he had planned to do was share his discovery and try to see if his old friend would simply understand . my head is flipping about all over the place . i asked him for it , and i expected him to say no , but he gave it to me . `` oh , god , '' i groaned , lifting my head to obey . he does n't know how to deal with it . 