after she 'd mentioned looking for them herself , she 'd realized she did indeed want them . she found joy in planting flowers and baking cakes for anyone who would eat them . that sounds like something a nice , normal person would do , i tell myself . i have to get this mess fixed . and that she was sorry that she wasnt there for her all these years because shes been locked up in here , helpless and defeated . he was not eager to walk . 