`` she 's amazing ... makes it look easy . '' unable to grasp who i really am , i lock myself into the safety of my mind , where my horror story can replay like a cruel movie . a radiant bouquet of flowers in a pink , shimmering wrap sits there . `` you waste tears on me - why ? '' as ever , the answer was in jade 's pictures . i did n't know what i thought any more . all the guys are so sweet . 