you can do is chase after the joys of others or the pleasures of your youth. it is why we say, live in the here and now. for this moment is where life lies.
regardless of where you find your meditation let go of feeling that it is not the right one. there is no right or wrong place for you to find your calm, or your meditation. you see meditation was never meant to be something you did over here, while you lived your life over there. it was not designed to be separate from your life. it was always meant to be a part of life.
far too many people 