i knew she did n't like me , and for some reason that made the fact that she was being so considerate , so caring , hit home that whatever she was getting ready to lay out for me was way worse than i had imagined . god , he looked good - capable and sure of himself even as my life twisted into a more complicated knot . she needed more blood , but not used blood from a vampire . so when i close my eyes at night i see the cold black water she died in . 