they had not recovered his body and no one knew for certain if he had died . `` i hope the crossing was n't too difficult . '' what 's the point of having money if we refuse to spend it ? '' i walked across it in the darkness until the water 's edge rushed up to meet me . i do n't know how you thought it was going to play out . '' he pressed his forehead with his napkin ; it came away blotted with sweat . 