but i did n't let myself believe it . `` you should see a doctor , '' he says . more like i crave a hit-the smell surrounding me , the smoke burning my lungs , the feeling of freedom and floating . pam might be trying to stir up trouble . this is a stupid thing to do , is n't it ? it 's a substance , a glow , maybe even a person 's soul . her voice is a tiny bit less mean , but it 's still not good enough to make me want to listen . 