i did n't remember closing them , but i must have , because everything was different . give orders and make the final decision . it 's very good of you to take this risk at all because there 'd be serious trouble for you if they caught you helping me . that , he was certain , was part of the reason she 'd agreed to the trade . but what king wanted , only my death could bring . `` so make me understand , '' she finally invited , after a long and uncomfortable pause . 