she would still be back home , on the horse farm , with her aunt and uncle . you should listen to me till you were tired , and advise me till you were still tired more . if you 're exposed to it for more than a few moments , it will destroy you . '' but when the urge was absent , it did n't feel like the truth . if i 'd had a glass of wine , i 'd have thrown it at him , old-school-movie style . i owe it to her not to do that again . '' 