how she would have loved that . was it too late to change him ? `` you have to realize that we have it drilled into our head from birth not to draw attention to ourselves or our people , and an unattached female on her own would definitely have drawn attention through most of history . '' so in that sense , returning to this campus kind of leaves me with a sense of failure . not that it had n't been wonderful this year . then i forced myself to nod , let go , and hand the necklace over to him . 