but i could n't go to a party i 'd planned while wondering about our relationship . tommy reached up and touched her cold hand . `` if we kill it , we do n't have to , '' i said . but the idea that she was gone , buried in the ground , made me feel helpless , and i had the intense need to turn everything off . lord , the man filled out a pair of jeans really , really nicely . you havent managed to see her all day . 