in that world , death is final . `` then why were you in pain ? '' then suddenly the sounds were gone , and everything was color . he just had to let it pass . her stomach was sick with misery . i stuff my hair under a cap that is too large for me and wish i had a mirror . i stood frozen , unable to turn around . what goes through that guy 's mind when he 's making these choices ? he 's one of the lost now . 