she said that for a phoenix to be born , it has to die . i shrugged and reached up to pull my hat off of my head and shove it into my back pocket . and one of those men would be her perfect match . i watch myself , pale and terrified , walking toward one of the doors . would it help if i remembered everything , in order , from the beginning ? `` and someone recently told me that if people believe in something hard enough and long enough , it becomes true . '' 