i grabbed a screwdriver with a long shaft to use like a knife and laid it on the table . and then i think , it has nothing to do with me . he would surely fail her-as he had failed another long ago . he was still in his pajamas , a flannel shirt and pants , so he must have rushed straight from bed . yes , i answer , holding up my shoes . if you lose my blood on top of that ... '' `` but i wo n't be losing your blood . '' 