instead , she was faced with a direct e-mail to her . `` just looking , '' he said , but she knew that tone in his voice , and he was lying . he stared into the void between them , vast and endless . she turned toward the kitchen and the enticing smells of food cooking , but she didnt think she could eat anything . he asked frank when he reached the bottom of the stairs . ava as soon as i can , i find a bathroom to throw up in . 