so she felt like , even now , she could relax . she slumped back in her chair , rubbed her eyes and sighed deeply . i turned the can toward her friend . i actually had to wear underwear a couple times . `` i was n't in my head because of cassie and melody . '' i did what i had to do to get some answers . '' the hard bargain still stands twenty-five years later and the operation was only supposed to last ten years at most . 