his own mother had hated him , abused him , and allowed others to abuse him . there was no reason in the world for anyone to kill him . i didnt really want to find out more . he had n't come back to sea breeze after our trip to new york . he put the gloves back on . `` you do n't know how miserable it gets , growing so slowly , explaining myself to strangers , knowing they 're talking about me . kelly kissed him again , licking at his tongue , sucking on it , biting it . 