it 's like awakening from a dream , like swallowing a fantasy and having it be real . what if , in some small recess of her heart , she loved this man , and i 'd just sent him away ? he frowned in concentration as he cleaned the pieces of the weapon with a brush , a soft cloth , and a small bottle of oil . he was yelling at a sick man in a hospital bed . the place felt as if it had been shut up for some time . 