how would she defend herself if it came down to it , with no weapon ? `` while you guys were doing things i do n't want to know about in your room , some things were happening out here . '' i jerked backward , startled , blinking in the sudden dazzle of light , and looked at him . the eight-year-old me is busy collecting vegetables and making mud pies in the garden behind our house . you are better off with someone else . 