it came again like a big drop of icy water down my neck , and even though i was ready for it this time i almost broke contact . i pushed at him-not to close off the bond but to shove him out of my head , or as far to the corners of it as he would go . none of them even made it close . he grins and i do n't miss his eyes darting to our fisted hands . `` you could have them all , '' i said , hoping i would not actually have to choose for him . 