he nuzzled the back of her head , breathing in the lilac scent of her shampoo . already he was making me ashamed of half the things i had been thinking . when i said , 'i do n't want to be here , ' i meant i did n't want to be there . but whenever we rouse him for a chat he seems in a dreadful hurry to get back . '' for once cam agrees with her . i put on a pair of white pumps and im almost normal height . 