what man in her past didnt ? it was simply telling me a story a story that interested me greatly . it always felt safe when elaine hugged me . a visit she was n't looking forward to , either . that 's how i viewed my dad 's death . perhaps it was all that , combined with the challenge . `` i 'm fine , '' i said for the fifth time in about four minutes . but you cant stay up here . i sat down on the edge of the bed and shook my head . 