dirty hair , rough tattoos , cracked nails , bloodshot eyes . `` my god , '' i said to myself and put my hand to my forehead . he had to wear something else . what is it exactly you want us to do ? you talk like it a living thing ? must it be all or nothing ? everyone did make mistakes at eighteen . dont you think he might get mad ? i think there 's some in the goddamned kitchen . '' it was like he was in a trance . 