but , if its not if theres more to pay if my leg is just a down payment for a few more months and , then , another payment is due its very hard to figure out . or may we have one of yours ? '' he had walked into one of the shops , sat down against the back wall , stared out the glass front at the lake , and put the barrel into his mouth . i forgive you ... my mouth opened and i took a wheezing breath , sound and then warmth rushing back in a tidal wave . 