it 's just a bull , he told himself , a bull like any other . ill figure out what to do . smelling it the whole walk over had been torture enough . `` and if you do n't show up tonight , i wo n't bother you again . '' i wanted that time with you even though i knew when it was over that you 'd walk away and that i was never supposed to know who you were or ever expect more than what you gave me . '' 