i reached in the cabinet and found what she was looking for . he needed it , hoping the alcohol would numb his body and clear his mind of what he saw that night . `` just by reputation , '' he said , and again there was that studied casual thing . not a word , billy replies , zippers his lips , locks them and tosses away the key . he recognized it in her and had spotted it the first time he walked into the library . she took them cautiously , one at a time . 