they were probably waiting for us , and they were n't going to let us get away with a couple of easy cracks about falling on a sidewalk . he was right ; it was morbid of me to come here . `` i just thought you were being polite . '' none of them liked to feel helpless and if someone they loved had a problem , they felt that way . and for the next several weeks i visited him many times . she helped me get this far . but even that had not been the worst . 