i did n't know if he did n't want to invite me to participate or if he felt awkward asking me . i hoped no one would notice , for i did not want these men to see my fear . a leader has to be hard , capable of making the right choice . not one of the pack stepped in to save her . `` we ca n't put them into foster care . sitting where youre not supposed to be sitting . i did n't want to think of her as a woman . 