but he 'd made it clear what he wanted , and she 'd been equally clear about her wants and needs . i just didnt know what my part was . the old house was no longer filled with a lot of spark and life but it still sat between two stop signs . didnt even know that there was anything to try . i did n't even get the benefit of hearing her little voice . i said throw him in the river ! yet he would n't be passing such a hopeful thought to the troops . 