lot was this question: when thinking of “why,” is there any answer to the question “why” that would be okay with you? is there any reason for [my daughter’s] death that would make me say, “oh, okay, i get it now, and i’m cool with that.”? i actually sat down and made a list of every single possible reason that she died, from physical/medical issues, to the idea the i was being punished … i listed every possible reason that i could think of. and then for each possible reason, i asked myself that if i knew for certain that was the reason for her death, would i be okay 