were you even going to look us up ? why cant we just be friends ? are you sure you want him to come ? that left two choices : try to escape at every turn and grow more depressed , if not dead , from lack of success , or try to carve out some sort of meaningful life for herself down here . i 'm not sure what comes after them . `` you do realize that when i 'm finally forced to kill you , no one will blame me for it ? '' 