looking down at my ruined blouse , i slowly nodded . he traced his thumb over my jaw line . t.j. took my hand , and nodded to the rest of the crew . i expected to fall asleep immediately , but my brain wouldnt quiet down . `` why are you so calm about this ? '' she 'd lost friends because of her own attitude , and one day she 'd looked in the mirror , not long after anna 's birthday and seen she was turning into her . 