nicolas was right , he had no choice but to bring her fully into his world where he could protect her at all times . `` she took me to a place where ducks paddled around in this fountain . she put one small finger on my dress , smiling as she touched the fabric . i had no idea if she knew what had really been going on . i 'd love to do what she was doing . a test that felt like it was holding my whole life in the balance . 