`` i was walking to dinner and ... '' she could see the memory of the trauma wash over him , the fear and the shadow of the fear passing across his face . thanks for putting me up , and putting up with me . she raised and dropped her arms with a loud sigh . that was rather stupid , wasnt it ? `` i was there because i 'd been looking for you . perhaps god is punishing me for my past ? '' at one point , a smiling white couple approached them . 