`` i 'm going to punch you in the arm , '' i growled . there was no changing my past , and i didnt want to . i trust them better than i trust myself . some good would come from this nightmare . and it 's easy to forget , in this moment , that he is younger than me . she 'd remember him with a smile for the rest of her life . that 's what my mum always used to say . '' my life has never been as it was . 