`` but if you know that , then why are you after me ? '' you must gargle after so much as a mouthful of coffee . actually it was only the lab that shook , but we all know what happens to me happens to all . when her cheeks warmed , the man holding her smiled . i look down at the people below . `` the only time i feel alive is when i 'm painting . '' when she did n't answer , he continued . 