onion arrived at the door and dragged a deep breath into his screaming lungs . `` not in this light you ca n't , '' i said . there 're no banners or balloons and nobody sang anything . '' my smile dropped and i sat up straight . we had combed every inch of the first floor , so it was a given . you need to sit for a while . '' he did n't answer right away , but when he glanced up at her , his blue eyes registered nothing but regret . 