sorry , he said , but didnt move . the fact did n't sit well , but if anyone knew about this , it would be bad . or maybe they had n't pushed him because they 'd known he would n't be able to take it . there were bars in the window . but he 'd have her all to himself . that is who you really are , and you know it . god in heaven , whats the matter with me ? i looked and saw the access card on the ground a few inches behind me . 