i jumped up and grabbed my purse . it 's only that they 're so far away from us , they look tiny . `` nicholas , i swear to god- '' his lips come down over mine and i feel vile and gross inside . before he entered i said , remember no one else can know yet . just the thought of her over the sink the other night , washing those clothes , saying she was taking care of the evidence , babe jesus , she was something . `` you always get so crazy when you 're drunk . '' 