i was ... '' i pushed past him and slumped into the passenger seat , shutting the door on whatever he was going to say . i spoke with them myself about what i wanted to do , and they could n't care less . your grandfather never believed you 'd stay on it . three in the morning must be the quietest time of the day . he always does a good hard check of that strut when we get close to port . he was n't gentle , but she did n't want him to be . 