she pulled away from him , dropping his hand . beth 's eyes dropped to where his hand wrapped around hers . `` do you still think about him ? '' `` i lead a study group for some math classes , but tonight 's was a statistics group . '' i stroke him lightly , finding the tip already wet . it makes her smile when she wakes up , in that instant before the pain comes back , crushing her under its weight ; i live and die by that smile . 