Parents who ‘ overvalue ’ their children risk creating arrogant , narcissistic adults , according to scientists . They may be your pride and joy – but telling your child they are special gives them an inflated view of themselves . And parents who ‘ overvalue ’ their children risk creating arrogant , narcissistic adults , according to scientists . A psychological study found that instead of telling children they are better than others , parents should tell them they are as good as anyone else . The research , which tracked participants for 18 months , suggests there is a fine line between self-esteem and narcissism . Children who are repeatedly told they are special go on to have an inflated view of themselves , whereas those who are simply told they are loved tend to be confident and well-rounded . The difference is a child who thinks they are as good as others – and one who thinks they are better than others and entitled to special treatment . However , narcissistic children still have lower self-esteem than their more modest playmates . The study of 565 Dutch children aged seven to 11 was carried out in a joint project by the University of Amsterdam and Ohio State University . Interviewed four times , parents were asked about their relationship and conversations with their child , and the child was asked how they viewed themselves and others . Lead researcher Dr Eddie Brummelman , from the University of Amsterdam , said : ‘ Rather than raising self-esteem , overvaluing practices may inadvertently raise levels of narcissism. ’ Professor Brad Bushman of Ohio State University added : ‘ Children believe it when their parents tell them that they are more special than others . That may not be good for them or for society . People with high self-esteem think they ’ re as good as others , whereas narcissists think they ’ re better than others. ’ The study , published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences , found that children who were repeatedly told they were special tended to think less of others – but did not necessarily have higher self-esteem . In contrast , children whose parents showed them more emotional warmth had higher levels of self-esteem . Professor Bushman said : ‘ Overvaluation predicted narcissism , not self-esteem , whereas warmth predicted self-esteem , not narcissism. ’ The research , which tracked participants for 18 months , suggests there is a fine line between self-esteem and narcissism . The psychologist , a father of three , said his research had changed his own parenting style . ‘ When I first started doing this research in the 1990s , I used to think my children should be treated like they were extra-special , ’ he said . ‘ I ’ m careful not to do that now . ‘ It is important to express warmth to your children because that may promote self-esteem , but overvaluing them may promote higher narcissism. ’ Dr Brummelman suggested that parents could be taught to express affection without telling their children they are superior to others . ‘ Future studies should test whether this can work , ’ he said .
Parents who ‘ overvalue ’ children risk creating arrogant , narcissistic adults . Researchers tracked three Dutch children aged seven to 11 for 18 months . Also found narcissistic children still have lower self-esteem than more modest playmates .