Clarke Carlisle previously threw himself in front of a lorry in a bid to take his own life , leaving him injured and the driver unable to get behind the wheel again . The lorry driver who struck former footballer Clarke Carlisle , who had thrown himself into the vehicle 's path , has said he may never be able to drive an HGV again . Earlier this year the 35-year-old Premier League defender revealed how he had jumped in front of a lorry near his home on the A64 , near York after battling severe depression . He was struck by Darren Pease who feared both would die after glass shattered following the crash , leaving them with cuts to their faces and the driver temporarily blinded . Mr Pease , 53 , told the Daily Mirror : 'That feeling is indescribable - to think you are going to die . I do n't think I 'll ever be able to get behind the wheel of a lorry again . I ca n't see any way back for me at this point . I ca n't drive a car properly , never mind a wagon . ' The lorry driver , who had been travelling to Driffield in east Yorkshire at the time of the crash , said he spent Christmas wondering if Carlisle , who has three children , was going to survive . Mr Pease said he now struggles to leave the house and has not been able to return to work . He added : 'All I could think was that I had killed someone . How am I going to live with this ? What am I going to tell everybody ? 'What do you say ? It 's unreal , the shock meant I could n't stand or walk , I was in a wheelchair . ' Mr Pease also struggles if images of Carlisle appear on the television and has to quickly switch it off . Carlisle was released from hospital last month , around six weeks after the accident on December 22 . Scroll down for video . He said after he was released he realised he was unwell . He had been struggling after he was told by ITV he was losing his £100,000-a-year Champions League pundit role . Carlisle admitted he went straight to a casino and blew money he and his wife had saved , only hours later on December 20 , to be charged with drink-driving . It was then that the former chairman of the Professional Footballers ' Association decided that his children could not have a criminal father and he decided he wanted to die . Carlisle was recently released from hospital six weeks after he was injured in a collision with a lorry . After the accident Carlisle said he had 'overwhelming feelings of shame , guilt and embarrassment . ' He was taken to hospital and suffered cuts , bruises , internal bleeding , a broken rib and a shattered left knee . He is now having counselling . Mr Pease has had to take sick leave from his £19,500-a-year job and is receiving treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder . Carlisle was the first player to win Countdown and in 2002 was awarded the title 'Britain 's Brainiest Footballer ' In 2011 he became the first footballer to appear on BBC 's topical debate show Question Time ( far left ) After Carlisle spoke out about the incident sports personalities and football clubs posted messages of support . Carlisle , considered one of the most intelligent footballers of his generation with 10 Grade A GCSEs , made more than 500 appearances for nine clubs in a career that spanned 16 years . He was the first football player to win Countdown in 2002 and BBC Sport awarded him the title 'Britain 's brainiest footballer . ' He has also appeared on Question Time twice . Carlisle ( left ) played for Northampton Town in 2013 and was pictured ( right ) after the road accident . His most notable stint as a Premier League player came during his five years with Burnley , with him featuring for them in 2009-10 , their first season in the division . After Carlisle spoke out about the crash actor Ralf Little faced criticism after he accused the footballer of not telling the full story . For confidential support call the Samaritans in the UK on 08457 90 90 90 , visit a local Samaritans branch or click here for details .
Former pat Clarke Carlisle threw himself in front of a lorry last year . He was struck by year - old Darren Pease who thought he had beaten him . Mr Pease said he does n't think he will ever be able to drive a lorry again . Carlisle last year told how he had spiralled into severe depression . Father - of - three was losing his job as a pundit and blew money in a supermarket . He then got arrested for drunk driving and was worried about his children .