As same sex relationships become more acceptable , the more visible they are and the more we can learn about them . Or should I say learn from them , since most of the research that is emerging about gay relationships suggests they can teach us straights more than a thing or two ! It ’ s not easy being gay and being different to the norm . But turns out there ’ s a huge pay off for having to fight for the right to love who you want without judgement . Gay relationships appear to work better than straight relationships in lots of key ways . Gay relationships work better than straight relationships in lots of key ways , says Tracey Cox . Here ’ s what we can learn from same sex couples : . 1 . They ’ re not hung up on male or female stereotypes of who should do what in a relationship . Couples in same sex relationships don ’ t just slot into what ’ s expected . They divide up the chores and roles in their relationship on who is best at them , rather than ‘ that ’ s the man ’ s job ’ or ‘ woman ’ s job ’ . The result is they work better as a team - and there ’ s less resentment over silly , sexist things like secretly thinking ‘ He should be earning more than me ’ or ‘ She should be the one emptying the dishwasher ’ . 2 . They fight fair . US relationships guru John Gottman , one of the world ’ s foremost experts on relationships , says same sex couples are far kinder and nicer to each other during arguments than straights are . They don ’ t personally attack each other , they ’ re more positive , less domineering and belligerent . Same sex couples also laugh more during a row - which is the best way to remind you both that you actually like each other , even if you don ’ t like what one of you did or didn ’ t do ! Gottman found gay men and women were also more affectionate , listened more and were less defensive in arguments . The sexpert says it ’ s not easy being gay and being different to the norm , but that there ’ s a huge pay off for having to fight for the right to love who you want without judgement . Why are they so much better at it than heterosexuals ? One reason is that power is equal . There ’ s less bullying and less blaming of problems on gender because you don ’ t have set expectations of each other ’ s roles . In society , women are expected to be the pacifiers and men the ‘ fixers ’ . But sometimes it ’ s women who are good at coming up with practical solutions and men who are good at soothing . Same sex couples tend to let whoever is best at something take over . 3 . They ’ re more experimental sexually . Male/female sex falls into a set pattern from a very early age . Usually , the guy initiates , there ’ s foreplay ( generally more for her than him ) and intercourse is very much the main event . Lesbians , on the other hand , are much less penetration orientated and orgasm orientated : they just do whatever they feel like in that particular sex session . Gay men are far more experimental with different types of sex rather than sticking rigidly to the ‘ vanilla ’ , basic type of sex straight people in long-term relationships tend to have . 4 . They ’ re happy to show and tell . Lots of straight women are often too embarrassed to let their partner watch them masturbate . Gay men love showing off - and watching other guys turn themselves on . They also watch carefully to see what technique they use , so they can copy it later . Lesbians often have mutual masturbation sessions and consequently know a lot more about what techniques their partner likes than the average straight couple . 5 . They don ’ t have to deal with the in-laws . Meeting each other ’ s parents and seeing them regularly as a couple is pretty much standard for most straight couples . But not all gays are at the same point in the coming-out process and not all families are tolerant and open to gay relationships . This means less forced visits with relatives you might not necessarily get on with - which means less rows about the in-laws . 6 . They don ’ t get hung up on porn . Partners watching porn is often frowned upon and seen as threatening by women in straight relationships . Gay men understand that men simply like looking at sexy things and same sex couples generally are more tolerant of each other ’ s differences . You 'll find more advice on love and relationships at traceycox.com .
Research says hetro couples can benefit from observing gay relationships . Sexpert Tracey Cox suggests there are six key lessons to learn . Says big pay off for having to fight for the right to love who you want .