( CNN ) -- Grappling with the fact that his father was a convicted rapist and kidnapper was difficult enough . Throw in the glare of the national media , a burglary and his father 's suicide , and Ariel Anthony Castro 's life became surreal . Now , the younger Castro is speaking out about his struggles in an essay for the Cleveland Plain Dealer . He wants to set the record straight : `` I 'm not my father . '' `` I 'm still shell-shocked from the way these past several months unfolded . Instantly , my father became one of the most hated men alive , '' he wrote . `` In no time , reporters from around the world demanded to know who this man was and what kind of background he came from . Just like that , my father went from captured to convicted to imprisoned to dead . '' He described hiding at a friend 's house `` because I was shaken to the core , and I did n't want to be forced to grieve with cameras and microphones pointed at me . '' When Castro eventually returned to his home , he noticed someone had broken in , ransacked it and carved an expletive into the front door . He said he 's still disgusted and angry about the crimes his father committed . Castro 's house demolished . `` He deserved to pay for his actions , every day of those 1,000 years he could possibly serve , '' Castro wrote . `` My anger with him kept me from visiting him in prison , even when he was moved to a facility just 20 minutes away from my doorstep . Coping would have to come before any possibility of a change of heart . But after mere weeks , that window slammed shut . '' After his father committed suicide , Castro said he had to deal with reporters who tried to get his `` knee-jerk reaction , wanting to know the whereabouts of my father 's remains , waiting for me outside the Franklin County coroner 's office . '' But he 's trying to cope with all the horrible surprises of the past year . `` I learned long ago that it 's not worth the effort to actively hate someone who will always be in your life , '' Castro wrote . `` Instead of bidding goodbye and good riddance to Ariel Castro , the question should be , now what ? If my father 's life and death can lead to changes in how we deal with sexual predators , domestic violence , mental illness and , yes , prison safety , then we should have those discussions . If we can prevent a repeat here or anywhere , then justice truly will have been served amid all the broken pieces my father left behind . '' Castro suicide : Two guards placed on leave .
` ` I am not my father , '' Ariel Anthony Castro wrote in the Cleveland Plain Dealer . He went into hiding while he was hunted by police and FBI . The younger Castro says he 's still disgusted and angry about what his father did . He says he hopes his father 's case will help prevent future violence .