( CNN ) -- Asked about part of the entertainment business he particularly enjoys , Greg Behrendt -- stand-up comedian , author , TV writer and producer -- had an unusual answer . Greg Behrendt co-wrote `` He 's Just Not That Into You , '' based on a popular episode of `` Sex and the City . '' `` My instrumental punk and ska band called the Reigning Monarchs , '' he said with a laugh . `` There 's seven guys in the band . ... We play shows around Los Angeles . '' But the co-author of `` He 's Just Not That Into You , '' now a film starring Jennifer Aniston , Scarlett Johansson and Ben Affleck , admits that stand-up comedy remains a longtime passion . In fact , it led -- in a roundabout way -- to `` He 's Just Not That Into You . '' `` I was a stand-up who had an HBO special called 'Mantastic , ' and it was directed by Michael Patrick King , who became an executive producer of 'Sex and the City , ' `` Behrendt said . One thing led to another , and Behrendt soon joined a mostly female writing team on `` Sex and the City . '' He observed that he was the only straight male writer for the show and offered the group valuable and realistic insight into the world of men . `` Sure , I felt a little bit like a token , '' he said . `` It 's not like those women needed my help , but I think there are days when you ca n't write in a perspective you do n't live . '' That perspective , along with colleague Liz Tuccillo 's female point of view , gave way to `` He 's Just Not That Into You . '' The book is based on a popular episode of `` Sex and the City , '' in which Carrie 's boyfriend ( played by Ron Livingston ) offers the line to Miranda as she puzzles over a date . The book is a wake-up call for women who obsess and worry about relationships , with an overarching message that if women find themselves doing the chasing , it 's likely the guy simply is n't interested . `` We were raised to pursue women . ... Most of the guys I know enjoy the pursuit , '' he said . `` But that does n't mean women should be wallflowers . '' As a comedian-turned-relationship expert -- one who is , by the way , now happily married and writing a book with his wife -- Behrendt said he hoped women would realize their worth when they read the book or watch the film . `` [ Women ] deserve great things , and they get to decide what their relationships are , and not other people , '' he said . `` You often hear women say , ' I do n't know if he 's ready to get married . ' Why are you waiting for his decision ? We always put our fates in other people 's hands . ''
Karen Behrendt is the co - author of ` ` He 's Just Not That Into You , '' now a writer . Behrendt leads a mostly female writing team on ` ` Sex and the City '' ` ` He 's Just Not That Into You '' is a book for women who worry about relationships . ` ` We were born to pursue relationships , '' Behrendt says .