( CNN ) -- On the anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre , which comes the day after yet another awful school shooting , it 's time not only to remember the lives lost on that awful December day but also to reimagine how we think and talk about guns in America . The typical gun debate pits `` gun rights '' against `` gun control . '' That frame is so ingrained that we hardly note it when the press describes those who want to reduce violence via firearms as `` gun control activists '' and those who oppose them as `` gun rights advocates . '' It 's an either/or : rights or control . This binary choice feeds bipolar fear and anger , especially on the rights side , leading to scenes like Alex Jones screaming insanely at Piers Morgan on CNN . That may make for compelling television , and such conflicts are satisfying to each side 's core constituents . But there is a better way to talk about guns -- and , perhaps more importantly , to address the problem of gun violence . And that 's to focus on `` gun responsibility . '' Gun responsibility is n't gun control . It is n't about `` controlling '' people or banning ownership of guns or confiscating weapons . But neither is it about treating the gun issue as if it were only a matter of rights -- as if everything else , from the safety of our children to the lethality of everyday crime to the reduction of gun suicides or accidents , were irrelevant . A gun responsibility agenda respects the Second Amendment right to bear arms . It also demands that the right be exercised with the level of responsibility that a functioning society applies to any public health or safety issue . That means first we should n't dismiss gun owners as an undifferentiated mass of zealots , or dismiss gun culture as simply the overcompensating fearmongering of insecure men . I 've fired an M-16A2 semiautomatic rifle at Marine Corps target practice . I 've hunted deer and duck with a rifle and shotgun . I can respect those who respect the power of these weapons and the craft of their skillful use . At the same time , gun responsibility means accepting -- indeed , championing -- reasonable rules and standards for the ownership and use of firearms . Criminal background checks prior to gun purchases , to take one obvious example , should be completely noncontroversial . That 's the bare minimum responsibility requires . Criminal background checks ca n't prevent every gun death , of course . Similarly , speed limits and seat belt laws ca n't prevent every highway death . That is no argument for the repeal of either . It 's just a reminder that our job as citizens is to make rules that reduce the chances of preventable harm . Yet on days when there is n't a mass shooting or the commemoration of one , we Americans have accepted as unremarkable an unrelenting flow of 30-plus gun murders a day . Changing that will require changes to both law and norms . That 's why in my home state of Washington I joined a group of citizens to create a grass-roots organization called the Washington Alliance for Gun Responsibility . We 're supporting a background checks ballot initiative , but we 're also working with faith leaders and parents and others to change the attitude on a deeper level . This is the zone of common sense , where we each do what we can and where not every curb on our desires is a total surrender of liberty . This is where a large and growing majority of Americans live . Background checks , for instance , garner 80 % to 90 % support in most public opinion polls . The idea of gun responsibility can and does appeal to people across the spectrum . A majority of NRA members would likely call themselves adherents . It 's not about left versus right . It 's just about being adult versus being immature . Adults know that every right carries an implicit duty to others -- that no right , constitutional or not , is absolute -- and they live accordingly . Such mindsets have nothing to do with age . A group of activists has chosen to designate December 15 , the day after the Newtown anniversary , as `` Guns Save Lives Day . '' They 'll ignore the desire of Sandy Hook families for quiet by loudly protesting `` attacks '' on their gun rights . They 'll brandish firearms and insist against evidence that more guns means less gun violence . There is a term for this , drawn from adolescent psychology : acting out . America ca n't afford to act out anymore . We have a problem to solve , which is tens of thousands of gun deaths a year . A good way to honor the children of Sandy Hook Elementary school is to thank gun owners who behave like adults , to support policies that encourage greater gun responsibility -- and to remember that this is how we fulfill our Second Amendment duties . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Eric Liu .
The anniversary of Newtown massacre is coming up ; let 's re-examine gun debate . Eric Liu : Stop thinking `` gun rights '' vs. `` gun control ; '' instead , think `` gun responsibility '' He says a gun responsibility agenda means respecting gun owners and their rights . Liu : It also means championing reasonable standards like background checks .