( CNN ) -- When preparing to propose marriage , create a moment that 's right for her and that accurately reflects -- in a beautiful , emotional and thoughtful way -- what 's special about you . If you 're a great couple , those two things wo n't conflict . She loves you , so she 'll love you expressing who you are in a moment that 's totally focused on her . One of the biggest mistakes people make is thinking that there should be a crowd of strangers as onlookers . For some women , that 's just right . But for most , it is n't . It 's fine for women to drop hints to their boyfriends about the general kind of proposal they would want , i.e. , how public or not . Do not dictate the specifics , and remember it 's not just about you ; it 's about him expressing himself in a beautiful , fragile moment of bravery and humility that 's all about love . Celebrate him as much as he 's celebrating you . Setting the scene . Sometimes the most magical moment you can create is in a space that you have all to yourselves . I tricked my wife into ending up with me alone on the stage of the Fox Theatre in Atlanta , when it was dark . The spotlight came on , our song played through the room . Magic . Why I proposed marriage in public . I got another couple into a major league baseball park when it was empty . She thought they were on a private tour for just a few members of her family . When they reached the pitcher 's mound , her boyfriend went down on one knee , as their song echoed throughout the stadium and a video about them played on the JumboTron . Then the sprinklers came on , getting them just a little wet . No big crowd . Beautiful . Captured on video . Booyah ! Who got it right ? Of the recent sprinkling of public marriage proposals making the rounds , the `` lip dub '' video speaks to my point . Clearly it thrilled the bride-to-be and was an expression of the future groom 's personality . No big crowd of strangers , just , presumably , people they would both want to be there . It 's clever , original , positive , adorable . They 're not pretending to be all professional and perfect . I 'm not worried about something going wrong in a plan like that , because it would n't have mattered . It was n't about a perfect show -- it was about joy and a celebration of love . The problem is that guys see videos like this and feel pressured to do something that 's public or viral , and they lose track of the point . Does it have to be public ? Your proposal is not a performance ! It 's not about proving to the world how cool you are . And its value does not lie in how many people witness it , watch it later or hear about it . Its value lies entirely in how special it is to the two of you , and the kind of story it gives you both to share and celebrate for the rest of your lives . What 's with public marriage proposals ? That 's the potential problem with the proliferation of public proposal events , with men trying to outdo each other and create YouTube moments . If you enter that game , you lose the point . There 's a high that comes from a magic proposal . And no matter how many people see it , only the two of you get that `` high . '' If you 're going for magic in that moment , that 's the central feeling you want to achieve -- not the ego boost of strangers praising you . Close the deal . Another important note on proposals : Stick the landing ! I ca n't tell you how many guys plan for the buildup and the question , but then ooze awkwardness and have no clue what to do after she says yes ! Especially when there 's a crowd of people there and the applause is over . Have a plan for what you 're going to do at the very end of the magic proposal event . For some couples , the simpler the better . How did CNN 's Josh Levs become a proposal expert ? Watch his TEDx talk to find out ! Would you propose in public or want your partner to do so ? Share your take in the comments section below .
Josh ##i says a marriage proposal should reflect the values of the couple . A public proposal should be well - thought - out and not for the benefit of observers . Public or private , a proposal should be an expression of love and commitment . Your proposal is not a proposal , but you should be confident enough to close the deal .