( CNN ) -- I 'm no stranger to the kind of dehumanized violence we saw happen in a Colorado movie theater earlier this summer . As a hostage negotiator , I 've been held hostage myself four times in the line of duty . That 's never a comfortable place to be , but I kept in mind that the success rate of hostage negotiators is as high as 95 % and I knew why . Hostage negotiators are successful because they build trust through dialogue . That dialogue changes the mindset of the hostage taker so he will surrender his weapons and hostages , even though he is aware he will probably go to prison . In essence , the hostage negotiator becomes a `` secure base '' to the hostage taker . A secure base provides a sense of safety and stretch , just as a parent , grandparent , or caretaker provides their child both protection and encouragement to go out and explore and take risks . Today , I work mostly with corporate leaders instead of hostage takers . In my book `` Care to Dare '' I define a secure base as `` someone or something that gives protection or sense of protection , inspires or brings forth energy within an individual . '' With this inspiration and energy , individuals step out of their comfort zones and strive to fulfill their untapped potential . I believe this quality is the single most important criterion for delivering sustainable high-performance leadership . See also : Want be a leader ? Act like one . Many hostage takers have few secure bases in their lives . Hostage taking is always preceded by a loss or a series of losses . The most dangerous hostage taker is the person who has no attachments and refuses to talk . However , when a hostage negotiator offers hopes , options , and positive solutions by gaining the trust of the hostage taker , he or she can become a secure base . To become a secure base to my hostage takers meant caring about them as people and gaining their trust to explore positive solutions both for them and their hostages . Once I understood the motivation behind the hostage taking , I could begin the search for options . By tactfully leading the way and while acting as a `` secure base , '' I was able to disarm my four hostage takers without force . Each time , I survived precisely because I cared for the person who had a weapon trained on me . That process involved creating a relationship -- an emotional bond -- with the hostage taker . Neuroscience explains why this bonding works . The human brain has one goal : to survive . That 's why humans are always searching for the negative and instinctively act defensively . However , when a secure base creates a bond , the resulting sense of protection lets the brain shut down its defensive focus . Then the brain can look for positives and opportunities . James Holmes , the accused shooter in the Aurora mass murder , is a typical example of a `` loner '' who has no secure bases or recently lost them : his university position as student , his identity , his apartment , his girlfriend , his father , to name just a few . As someone with extensive experience with severely troubled people , I see his lack of secure bases as a key contributing factor to his alleged crimes . These days , I am a professor of leadership and organizational behavior , yet I still focus on the most basic human needs that drive behavior . If leaders are not secure bases to their employees , employees can not trust them and they will be defensive and even feel like hostages . Gallup studies show extremely low rates of employee engagement : 7 % in France , 12 % in Germany , 17 % in the UK , and 28 % in the United States . The major finding was that high engagement was connected to high emotional care from the immediate boss -- a boss who became a secure base . When caring was present , the employees would `` dare '' to take risks and stretch themselves to achieve great things . This winning combination of caring and daring not only shuts down defenses , it can also unleash extraordinary potential . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of George Kohlrieser .
As a former hostage negotiator , George Kohlrieser has been held hostage four times . He says hostage negotiators are successful because they build trust through dialogue . Today , Kohlrieser works mostly with corporate leaders instead of hostage takers . He says building a `` secure base '' to employees is essential for good leadership .