( CNN ) -- Ashley Bays took her toddler into M Spa Salon in Portage , Michigan , for a simple haircut but left with a `` severe tongue lashing , '' according to a witness whose Facebook post about the event went viral . Customer Vanessa Hunt wrote about her outrage at watching salon owner Michelle Mott allegedly dress down Bays and 2 Â½-year-old Grayson because the child cried during his haircut . `` At the conclusion of this woman 's tantrum to the mother the mother said through tears , ' I 'm so sorry , he 's autistic , ' '' Hunt wrote in a post that has been shared more than 35,000 times . Attorneys for the salon said in a statement to mlive.com that Mott reacted reasonably to safety concerns caused by the boy 's behavior . Many toddlers cry during a visit to the hair salon , but the experience can be particularly challenging for individuals with the sensory sensitivities that are common in autism . I know , because my son is one of them . Haircuts require a patient stylist , a special list of instructions , books to read and a fresh shirt to change into immediately afterward . If it were n't for the promise of a lollipop at the end of the haircut , he might not go into the salon at all . The reality of finding a job with autism . The noise and feel of the clippers can be painful , the smells of dyes and permanents overpowering , the water sprayed on their hair upsetting and the sound of hair dryers panic-inducing . However , Bays , a longtime client of the salon , had found one hairstylist she trusted to cut her son 's hair -- no small thing , as parents of children with autism can attest . The incident at M Spa Salon has brought a much larger issue to the public eye than merely the allegedly nasty behavior of one business owner : Parents of children on the autism spectrum struggle with public judgment on a daily basis . Sometimes kids with autism exhibit behaviors that draw attention to themselves , ranging from self-soothing repetitive motions to a full-blown meltdown in an overwhelming situation . The reaction of the bystanders can go a long way toward defusing panic or exacerbating it , which is what happened when Mott reportedly yelled at Ashley and Grayson Bays until they both left the salon in tears . `` I 've never experienced anything else like this before . I understand if she does n't want children in the salon , but she could have handled it a lot differently . She could have pulled us to the side . She was very insensitive that he does have special needs , '' Bays later said . Just as a negative reaction can make matters worse , thoughtful words and actions can help . The hairstylist who joined the family outside to complete the child 's haircut stands out as an unsung hero in the unfortunate M Spa Salon drama . Another recent example was the kindness of a waitress at a Chili 's Bar and Grill in Utah who replaced the `` broken '' hamburger of an autistic girl without batting an eyelash . Small kindnesses can go a long way . Work and autism : Your questions answered . So what should a person do if they witness a child with autism ( or frankly any child ) in distress ? According to Amanda Benson , LCSW , an autism specialist at The University of North Carolina TEACCH Autism Program , the most useful thing that bystanders can do is ask the parents : `` Is there something I can do to make this easier for you ? '' `` The parents will know what will best help their child , '' Benson said , such as dimming the lights , moving to a quieter space or offering a preferred toy as a distraction . In the specific case of a haircut , the child might be more comfortable with scissors only or conversely only with clippers . Because autism encompasses such a broad spectrum , there is no single solution that will work well for all individuals . Bystanders should refrain from judgment . Effective parenting techniques are different for children with autism than for typically developing kids . Because attention is often a strong behavioral reinforcement for individuals on the spectrum , parents may strategically ignore inappropriate behaviors , while providing positive reinforcement for appropriate behavior . Autism : What we know right now . Bystanders can help by offering an empathetic smile for the parent or a word of praise for a child who is trying his best . Some parents of autistic children carry small cards to hand out explaining autism to strangers who stop and stare , or sneer . Without acceptance of the whole spectrum of human development , people with disabilities are inevitably excluded from society . Given that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates the autism prevalence in the United States to be 1 in 88 ( and more recent studies suggest that figure may be as high as 1 in 50 ) , business owners are going to have to become better educated about how to serve individuals with special needs . Not only are they their customers , as in the case of the young Grayson , but people with autism are entitled to the same access to public spaces afforded all other Americans . Have you dealt with insensitivity toward your children or yourself due to a medical or condition ?
A salon owner allegedly berated a child and his mother after the boy cried during haircut . A fellow salon patron wrote about the incident on Facebook and readers reacted strongly . Bridget Mora says the public needs to be more aware of autism behaviors . TL;DR The American Academy of Pediatrics has issued new guidelines for parents who want their children to have hair cuts at salons.