( CNN ) -- Every parent loves his or her child ; it 's the prime directive of the species . Twenty years ago , when my wife was pregnant with our first baby , Hillary Clinton told me that having a child is like taking your heart out of your body and letting it walk around . For some parents , however , their beloved child takes their heart on a long , wild ride that careers from joyous and generous to dark and dangerous . So it was with John Schwartz and Jeanne Mixon . Joseph , their third child , was a precocious reader , a super-sensitive old soul , fiercely defiant when he believed the teacher was too autocratic , hyper-quick on the trigger . Or , as his father put it , a squirrelly kid . He 's also gay . Fabulously gay . From early childhood he preferred feather boas to football ; pink shoes to playing soccer . No problem ; his parents are enlightened , intelligent , educated , urbane and progressive . Their community in suburban New Jersey was welcoming and inclusive . Their rabbi is gay . iReport : Who 's at your Thanksgiving table ? And yet shortly after he came out of the closet at age 13 , Joe attempted suicide . In his new book , `` Oddly Normal , '' Joseph 's dad takes his readers through his family 's years-long high-wire act : counselors and psychiatrists who tried to medicate their son ; teachers who ranged from saintly to Nurse Ratched-like ; thoughtful , caring professionals who struggled with a kid who did n't quite fit in the `` normal '' category , but whose peccadilloes and challenges also did n't fit within any of the prefab boxes . Joseph does not have Asperger 's syndrome ; he is not austic ; he 's not ADD or ADHD . He 's just squirrelly . And gay . My take : 5 ways to raise thankful children . A national reporter for the New York Times , Schwartz mixes his family 's personal journey with solid reporting on controversies like whether we are over-medicating our children , whether gay teens really are more prone to suicide , nature versus nurture and more . He writes like the pro he is , but this is not some dispassionate account of the social science of the suburbs . This is open-soul surgery without anesthetic . I have known and liked Schwartz and Mixon since college . They are smart and strong and loving . They need all of those attributes as they butt heads with educrats , shrinks and teachers as they fight for their bright , witty handful of a boy . Somehow -- maybe it 's the journalistic training -- Schwartz is not harshly judgmental , even to Mr. Fourth Grade , a teacher who , he says , was especially harmful to Joseph . The only time his sense of fairness and perspective abandons him is when he turns his truth-beam on himself : Why did n't he act on the warning signs that were obvious in hindsight ? Because , of course , they were not obvious then , camouflaged by routine and shrouded in fog . Every parent feels that way . Few can express it as fearlessly as Schwartz . `` Oddly Normal '' has a happy ending . Joseph himself provides a coda that will bring tears to your eyes . Schwartz 's memoir is brave and beautiful , surprising and inspiring , a testament to parents ' endless determination to help their children , and the bottomless capacity for love . It is by no means a How-To guide for raising a gay kid . It should be taken to heart by every parent . Living : Navigating family and dinner table etiquette landmines . As Schwartz writes , `` You do n't have to be gay to understand that your own child might feel isolated , different . Alone on the planet . It 's our job to love our little Martians whatever it is that makes them different . '' As families gather for Thanksgiving , secrets and regrets are invariably on the menu . But so is love and acceptance -- especially in the best families , like the Schwartzes . Sure Uncle Walter will bloviate about his golf game , Aunt Claire will make catty comments about your weight , the cousins from California will be over-served . But I for one will thank God for family : the folks who fight for you when you 're vulnerable , forgive you when you 're wrong , and always , always love you -- even if you 're a little squirrelly . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Paul Begala .
Paul Begala says his friends have a terrific son , Joe ; strong , intelligent , sensitive and also gay . This was no problem to his smart , loving parents ; but at 13 , Joe tried to kill himself , he says . He had been bullied in school for being homosexual ( which is why they called him " the boy who cried wolf ) Begala : It offers a good reminder at Thanksgiving , as families share love and acceptance .