( RealSimple.com ) -- A lengthy separation -- and a surprise trip to Paris -- caused this husband and wife to realize that their marriage could be saved . Mary L. Tabor and Del Persinger Washington , D.C. Married 26 years . Mary was still in her nightgown and robe , sipping a cappuccino in the kitchen of the Washington , D.C. , brownstone she shared with her husband , Del , when he walked in and announced he wanted to live alone . They had been married for 21 years . `` I did n't know what had hit me , '' Mary , 64 , recalls of that fall morning in 2005 . `` I wondered , does he have a girlfriend ? A boyfriend ? I had no idea what was wrong . '' Although the couple 's relationship had been strained for a few months , Mary simply assumed they were going through a rough patch . She attributed Del 's loss of interest in sex and his suddenly quick temper to stress from his high-pressure job as a financial analyst . `` Del was so on edge that he would yell at me about every little thing -- like a knife accidentally placed in the dishwasher with the point up , '' says Mary , a writer and a teacher . Still , she figured that things would soon return to normal . RealSimple.com : How to break bad habits . For Del , the decision had been a long time coming . Increasingly restless within his marriage , he wondered whether it was holding him back from leading a more exciting life . `` I knew the problem was n't Mary -- it was me , '' he says . `` And I felt I needed to work through my mixed emotions alone . '' To Mary 's frustration , Del could n't articulate any of these concerns -- all she knew was that he wanted a separation . She and Del took turns sleeping in the guest room for a few months until she moved into an apartment of her own . By January 2006 , the couple had hired attorneys . Their home , which they had spent the previous seven years painstakingly renovating , was put up for sale . Mary felt `` broken '' without Del , who had helped her raise two children from her first marriage and supported her through the deaths of her parents and sister . `` He understood me better than anyone , '' she says . She tried to move on and began dating other men -- to little avail . `` I was still in love with my husband . '' For Del , the bachelor lifestyle lost its luster rather quickly . `` I thought the separation would allow me to make all those friends I never had , do all the things I never did , '' says Del , 61 . But in reality his days were fairly mundane . `` I went to work , went to the gym , and spent the rest of my time reading . '' He also found himself stalling on the divorce negotiations , bringing up smaller and smaller details . In retrospect , he realizes he probably did that to prolong the process indefinitely . By August 2009 , the couple had cautiously started spending time together again , even venturing out on a few dates . `` It was n't the dinners or dances that made me feel in love , but the conversations , '' says Mary . Del , who had been seeing a therapist , finally opened up to her about his worries and fears . `` To me , the most seductive thing a man can do is be truly honest , '' says Mary . Del had clearly experienced a change of heart . But Mary , concerned it would n't last , wanted time to think . In the winter of 2009 , she took an extended trip alone to Paris . One morning , as she was having her breakfast , her cell phone rang . It was Del . He had flown in from D.C. and was outside her building . Could he come up ? Mary buzzed him in , and when he reached her doorway , suitcase in hand , he told her how much he loved her . That grand romantic gesture , so out of character for Del , `` moved me deeply , '' says Mary . `` At that moment , I thought our marriage could be saved . '' RealSimple.com : Things worth admitting to . A few weeks later , the pair flew home together . Del sold his apartment and moved in with Mary . Divorce proceedings were halted . Their `` new '' relationship is free of the stressful arguments that were so commonplace back in 2005 , the couple report . `` I 'm not confused anymore , so I 'm a more contented person , '' says Del . `` Del is at ease with himself , and that makes him at ease in the world , '' Mary explains . `` When people hear that Del left me , they say , 'You were betrayed ! ' But I do n't feel that way . Look , life is messy . I 'm happy we got this second shot . '' Get a FREE TRIAL issue of Real Simple - CLICK HERE ! Copyright © 2010 Time Inc. All rights reserved .
After 21 years of marriage , Del announced to his wife that he wanted to live alone . Mary felt `` broken '' without Del , who had helped raise her two children . She was a widow with no family and she didn't want any more kids in the house