( CNN ) -- Last month at Zaatari , the second-largest refugee camp in the world , I met an accountant who carried his 6-day-old baby across the Jordanian border from Syria , and a mother who can not find her 20-year-old son -- and knows all too well what has likely happened to him . I saw parents too frightened to let their children out of their sight , even to go to school . And while visiting Syrian refugees recovering in a hospital in Amman , Jordan from some of the violence that perhaps foreshadowed the August 21 chemical attacks on Syrian citizens , I spoke with a woman whose daughter died in her arms . These refugees ' stories , interspersed with images of white-shrouded children lying dead -- poisoned in the Damascus suburbs -- have stayed fresh in my mind . The debates in the press over the past three weeks imply that whether or not the United States and its allies apply `` lethal force '' in Syria is the defining question of this crisis . Whether the United States intervenes militarily is a hugely important question -- politically , strategically , legally and morally . But it is not the only one . For the civilians bearing the staggering weight of this war , it is not even the most pressing one . The war has raised a huge range of unanswered questions and challenges for humanitarian actors that will persist long after any `` symbolic '' or even intensive military operation . These are imperative to Syrians ' survival and the region 's long-term stability and must not be crowded out as politicians and pundits wrangle over the use of force . First and foremost is the question of how to keep borders open for refugees . More than 2 million Syrian refugees have now fled their country . The hospitality of Syria 's neighboring states towards these refugees has been breathtaking . For example , more than one in four people in Lebanon today are Syrian , representing a level of generosity toward refugees that has never been matched by any Western state . Yet -- particularly in Lebanon and Jordan -- the refugee crisis has resulted in higher rents , reduced wages , overstretched social services , and increased pressure on already limited water supplies . All this has ratcheted up local tensions , and increased pressure on governments to limit arrivals . While the Jordanian border remains officially open , over the summer UN officials reported `` artificially low '' arrivals , suggesting that would-be refugees may be encountering obstacles to their escape . Hurdles are also emerging for Syrians wishing to cross the Lebanese border . As the crisis escalates , redoubled international support is needed to ensure Syria 's neighbors can accept new arrivals . This support must benefit not only the refugees but also the communities that are hosting them . A second , related question is how to get Syrian refugee children into school . Last month -- it really was a hellish month -- marked what the U.N. High Commissioner for Refugees called a `` shameful milestone '' : The number of Syrian refugee children reached 1 million . Many of these children are not in school ( by some estimates , 75 % of children in Zaatari are not in school ) and have already missed months if not years of schooling inside Syria before fleeing abroad . Some kids are not attending school because they are working to support their families ; other refugee children living in towns and cities lack the money to get to school , or are afraid of harassment . As bombs drop , getting kids in school may not seem that urgent , but the long-term impacts of a `` lost generation '' of Syrian children would be disastrous . Deprived of educational opportunities , these children are at risk of future unemployment , social marginalization and frustration , potentially prompting them to turn to extremist causes . More attention and assistance is needed inside and outside the camps to overcome the barriers that are keeping refugee children out of class . Equally important is the question of how to do more to assist the estimated 5.1 million Syrians who are displaced within their own country . Two million of these are minors , and many are at risk of physical violence and forced recruitment . The internally displaced are much more difficult for humanitarian groups to reach , and are out of the media spotlight , which is trained on refugee camps and settlements in neighboring states . But we need to be asking what new and creative ways can be found to improve protection and support for this population . Last , but certainly not least , is the question of how to strengthen Syria 's democratic opposition . This is not just a matter of access to weapons and military training , but the development of civil society organizations . Many Syrian refugees have already banded together to support others inside and outside Syria , including through the provision of medical assistance . We need to be asking what more can be done to strengthen and scale up such laudable initiatives . Despite the devastation they are enduring , the Syrian refugees I met in Jordan are proud , industrious people . They have the capacity to recover and eventually rebuild their country -- but if Western countries are to effectively support them , we ca n't let the use of force become the only question on the agenda . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Megan Bradley .
Megan has met young , fearful Syrian ##s at a camp and shelter in Jordan . She says neighbor countries ' hugely generous to shelter them ; global community needs help . She says it 's crucial to keep borders open for fleeing Syrians and to keep kids in school . Bradely : Helping displaced still in Syria very hard ; she needs help to provide social aid .