( CNN ) -- As Crimea held a bogus referendum on independence under the watchful eye of Russian occupation force on March 16 , I confess that my mind and heart were elsewhere . I have never experienced war or the threat of annihilation . But now , thanks to the Internet , like thousands of other Ukrainian-Americans I am living at the edge of an existential abyss . The violence—the war—that threatens Ukraine does not threaten me . I am in New York and Ukraine is thousands of miles away . But war will threaten my friends , colleagues and family in Ukraine . We Ukrainian-Americans must now live with the very real possibility that their lives could be extinguished if Russian President Vladimir Putin chooses to do so . Indeed , Ukraine could even disappear as a state , if he chooses to make it disappear . The Internet has inserted the reality and possibility of mass death into our lives . We watch events unfold in real time . And we watch these events unfold all day , every day . There is no respite . There is no pause . Ukrainians in Ukraine must live with the tangible threat of physical annihilation . We must live with the virtual threat . Their fears are palpable . The consequences for them of war and violence are real : destruction and death . The consequences for us are virtual : We are witnesses to tragedy and mass killings . We watch , our eyes glued to our computer screens , and we imagine the horror . Our empathy is not abstract : Our friends , colleagues and relatives are real people . Neither is our feeling of impotence abstract : It gnaws at our insides and reminds us that we , too , are dying , albeit spiritually . For three months , starting in late November , when the mass pro-democracy demonstrations began in downtown Kiev , and ending on February 21 , when Ukraine 's version of Papa Doc Duvalier , Viktor Yanukovych , fled and people power triumphed , we had been witnessing daily regime violence punctuated by a few killings in January and mass killings just before the regime collapsed . Every morning , turning on my computer , I wondered whether this was the day the criminal Yanukovych regime would crack down , as it continually threatened to do . If all that happened that night was a disappearance or two , a few savage beatings and fire-bombings of cars , we Ukrainian-Americans breathed a sigh of relief . You see , we had actually gotten used to daily terror . We , like the demonstrators in Ukraine , could live with that . After all , they had been living with the violence and predations of the Yanukovych regime since 2010 . What we feared above all was mass violence . And then it happened . On Tuesday , February 18 , about 16 demonstrators and 10 police officers were killed . We were shocked and mourned their deaths , while hoping and expecting the violence to ebb . On Wednesday , February 19 , nothing happened and our hopes appeared to be justified . On Thursday , February 20 , the regime ordered snipers to shoot randomly at demonstrators . Scores died . And , thanks to the Internet , we saw them being mowed down . The violence had come home . The criminal regime had insinuated itself into our lives . After Yanukovych fled and a democratic government assumed power , we rejoiced . Finally , we thought , Ukraine would be able to become `` normal '' -- free , democratic , liberal and Western . We were euphoric . The death of the country had been averted . Except that , exactly one week later , on Friday , February 28 , that euphoria was replaced with the deepest of fears . Vladimir Putin 's Russia invaded and occupied Crimea . That was bad enough . Far worse was yet to come . On Saturday , March 1 , Putin claimed to have the right to `` defend '' `` Russian citizens '' anywhere in Ukraine , thereby giving himself carte blanche to invade any part of Ukraine he chooses . Which province would be next ? On Tuesday , March 4 , our existential angst got worse . At a revealing press conference , Putin claimed he had the right to go to war with Ukraine in defense of `` Ukrainian citizens . '' Putin also said if he made the decision to go to war , `` women and children '' would act as a shield for Russian troops . Many Ukrainians in Ukraine now believe that a Russian invasion of mainland Ukraine is inevitable . If it happens , war will break out and thousands will die . It 's hard to believe that Putin will stop with Crimea . Putin 's former economic adviser Andrei Illarionov , who resigned in protest after a bloody hostage crisis , believes Russian armies will march on Kiev . Putin 's ideological mentor , Aleksandr Dugin , insists that Russia 's goals go beyond Ukraine into Europe -- a reunification of the Slavic peoples . Meanwhile , Russian troops and tanks are massing on Ukraine 's borders . Terrified realists that we have become , we suspect the worst : that they will soon be attacking a country that dared say no to Putin . As the clouds of a massive land war appear to approach Ukraine , we watch our screens with horror and hope against hope that Russian bombs will not begin to fall on our friends , colleagues , and family in Ukraine . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Alexander Motyl .
Alexander Motyl : Crimea vote a joke : Many believe war with Russia inevitable . He says when Russia was overthrown , Ukrainian-Americans -Americans were euphoric . Motyl : Then Alexander Motyl made threats ; Russia stole Putin and massed troops at border . Motyl : Ukrainian fear for friends and relatives in Ukraine .