( CNN ) -- As Secretary of State John Kerry pursues new peace negotiations between Israel and the Palestinians , he and President Obama will need broad-based support in efforts for peace , which will come only through bridging the gulf between those who identify primarily with Israelis and those who identify primarily with Palestinians . As a rabbi and the director of a Jewish human rights organization , I have seen how that gulf inhibits all of us in our ability to support the peace process . A few cases in point : A pro-Palestinian activist was struggling to understand why the Jewish community reacts so strongly against calls to boycott and divest from Israel . After all , she told me , boycotts are an accepted nonviolent tactic for achieving a political goal . Did n't I know about the anti-apartheid struggle in South Africa ? Or the fight for the rights of migrant grape workers in California ? What about the Montgomery bus boycott ? But the word `` boycott '' carries terrible associations for Jews . I explained to her that it is linked in our minds to the boycotts of Jewish businesses in Nazi Germany , which presaged the deportations and murders . Then there 's the history of blood libel , the false accusations of Jewish violence against Christians that often prompted boycotts and worse . The very word boycott triggers this communal post-traumatic stress , regardless of the intentions of those advocating for such tactics . Not long after , the director of a national Jewish organization complained to me that protests against the occupation , including calls for boycotts and divestment , seek to smear Israel 's image and de-legitimize the country 's right to exist . Although I do n't support boycotts of Israel , I challenged him to consider that the worst damage to Israel 's image and credibility might come from the occupation itself . The failure of the two sides to communicate has implications far beyond whether pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian advocates can get along . Within the United States , we have seen a breakdown in relationships between Jewish communities and other minority communities who have long been natural allies for an open , diverse and equitable America . The inability to break out of one-sided rhetoric also limits both sides ' willingness to accept the painful concessions that will be necessary for peace . Those who sympathize primarily with the Palestinians must recognize that the trauma of the Holocaust and of thousands of years of anti-Semitism remains an open wound for the Jewish community . We will never `` get over it . '' Acknowledging this trauma does not mean that criticism of Israeli policy is off limits . Instead , those protesting the occupation need to clamp down on any rhetoric that crosses the line into anti-Semitic stereotyping , that denies Jewish history and identity , or that dismisses the suffering and human rights of Israelis . There can be no space within the anti-occupation movement for negative portrayals of Jews , calls to wipe out Israel , or diatribes against `` Zionists , '' a word that most Jews understand as a barely veiled reference to all of us . When Hamas militants shoot rockets at towns and villages in Israel , the Jewish community needs to hear condemnation from those who most often ally themselves with Palestinians . Those who sympathize primarily with Israel must similarly reject dehumanizing rhetoric about Palestinians or Muslims . It is vital to acknowledge the day-to-day suffering of Palestinians , who contend with the theft of private land , long and demeaning checkpoint lines , and violence from settlers and soldiers . Responding with disbelief to painful narratives , or countering with stories of Israel 's scientific and medical achievements , paints the Jewish community as tone deaf to the suffering of others . When the Israeli government issues building permits for a new settlement , demolishes a Palestinian home , or levies only minor penalties on Jews who attack Palestinians and their property , mainstream Jewish leaders need to condemn these actions as unjust and destructive of the possibility for peace . Those on both sides who are unwilling to change their rhetoric should come clean about whether they are actually committed to peace . Those who tolerate language that demonizes Jews or who justify violence against Israeli civilians must ask themselves whether they are actually most interested in achieving a better future for Palestinians , or whether they are indulging in dangerous anti-Semitism . Those who dismiss Palestinian suffering or who rationalize violence against Palestinian civilians must ask themselves whether they are serious about a two-state solution , or whether they are simply looking for excuses to sustain the occupation indefinitely . Each side also needs to look forward instead of back . Jews must acknowledge that this moment is neither the Germany of the 1930s nor the Israel of the second intifada . The very prominence of boycotts , protests and appeals to the United Nations -- whether we approve of these tactics or not -- reflects a decision by the Palestinian majority to pursue nonviolent efforts to achieve a state . Those who take up the Palestinian cause must acknowledge that the state of Israel and its more than 6 million Jewish citizens are here to stay . Both sides need to stop arguing about whose fault it is that previous negotiations have failed . It 's easier to attack and defend than to seek to understand the other side 's legitimate needs and emotions . But there 's no easy way around it . Creating a just and peaceful future for Israelis and Palestinians requires doing it the hard way . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of .
Israeli-Palestinian peace talks need support that comes from understanding of both sides . Comment: Palestinian sympathizers , know the Holocaust is an open wound . Jacobs : Israeli sympathizers , stop dehumanizing Palestinians , accept their suffering . Each side needs to look forward , stop arguing over who 's to blame , she says .