( CNN ) -- When Joan Rivers had her star-making 1965 appearance on Johnny Carson 's `` Tonight Show , '' he told her , `` God , you 're funny . '' That , there is no doubt , she was . Sometimes her wit was self-deprecating ; other times it was directed , like claws , at other targets . But , as she said , she was put on Earth to make us laugh . Joan Rivers was a pointed , pioneering comedian . Here are a few of Rivers ' best jokes . On growing up : . - I was so ugly that they sent my picture to Ripley 's Believe It or Not and he sent it back and said , `` I do n't believe it . '' - My mother never told me a thing . I asked my mother , `` Where am I from ? She gave me a fake address in Cleveland . '' - I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio . - I was so flat , I used to put Xs on my chest and write , `` You are here . '' On home life : . - I hate housework . You make the beds , you do the dishes , and six months later , you have to start all over again . - I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house , and she said , `` Get off my property . '' - Grandchildren can be annoying -- how many times can you go : `` And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink '' ? It 's like talking to a supermodel . On her love life : . - I was dating a transvestite , and my mother said , `` Marry him , you 'll double your wardrobe . '' - All my mother told me about sex was that the man goes on top and the woman on the bottom . For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds . - Peeping Toms look at my window and pull down the shade . - I have no sex appeal -- if my husband did n't toss and turn , we 'd never have had the kid . - My best birth control now is to just leave the lights on . - My sex life is so bad , my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark . - I got a waterbed , but my husband stocked it with trout . - My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese : most of it 's missing , and what 's there stinks . On aging and plastic surgery : . - Looking 50 is great -- if you 're 60 . - When a man has a birthday , he takes a day off . When a woman has a birthday , she takes at least three years off . - My breasts are so low , now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time . - I 've had so much plastic surgery , when I die , they will donate my body to Tupperware . - I wish I had a twin , so I could know what I 'd look like without plastic surgery . On reputations and stereotypes : . - A man can sleep around , no questions asked . But if a woman makes 19 or 20 mistakes , she 's a tramp . - It was a Jewish porno film : One minute of sex and nine minutes of guilt . - I spit on education . No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card . ( Note : Rivers went to Barnard , the women 's college affiliated with Columbia , and was extremely well-read . ) On death : . - My husband killed himself . And it was my fault . We were making love and I took the bag off my head . - At my funeral , I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents . Opinion : Joan Rivers gave misfit girls permission to dream .
Joan Rivers was always quick with a one - liner . Jokes were often aimed at herself , though she defended others . She died peacefully at age 81 .