Montreal ( CNN ) -- Home is the hardest place to find for children of immigrants , but for us , nothing hits closer to home than when a bomb goes off in Baghdad . Last week , just days after American troops pulled out of Iraq , 63 people died and 176 were wounded in Baghdad . As the son of Iraqis who left home in the late '70s , I find fleeting moments of hope that seldom return to me . The withering memories of my last visit to Basra play like broken records in my mind . I remember our grandparents ' home , my uncle 's dog and the size of the tires on his Jeep . I remember the smell distinctly but I ca n't put it into words . I remember feeling small ; after all I was only 5 . I have watched Iraq 's tragedies only through television or the Internet for more than 20 years now . We make frantic fuzzy phone calls to Iraq , the voices on the other end are lost in reception ; there is no awe in their shock . My aunt said that it felt like `` hell opened loose '' this past Thursday , heat lingering in the air as it rose from the rubble and twisted metal around Baghdad . The violence follows Iraqis ' sense of security like the ghost of Saddam past . As we hang up the phone with our families , we are all wondering : Where do we go from here ? With troops reaching home in time for the holidays , many are asking why they were there in the first place ? We should have asked ourselves these questions many years ago . My cousin grew up with my grandparents in Iraq . As a child of the late eighties , he saw war for much of two decades coming out of their front door . I had the privilege of a selfish teenage rebellion in Montreal , as a voyeur into the war , watching news on our television . In the process , we were both detached from each other 's realities . We spent some time together in the United Arab Emirates , after my maternal family had the rare opportunity to leave Iraq in 2005 , drained by the successive wars pounding on their chests . The decades of bombings had taken its toll , far too often carrying bad news to those in the diaspora , sending ripples back through the hearts of all Iraqis . Those same bombs did something to my cousin . One night , we sat down and watched a movie together , something I had never done with him before . As a car exploded on the screen , his immediate reflex was to cover his ears and close his eyes . We noticed different things . He was transported back home , and I was lost . The contrast in our perspectives on life riddled me with guilt . Some of us take so much for granted . I switched the TV off . In the Mashtal area of Baghdad , a local women 's NGO is offering an awareness seminar for widows . My sister-in-law returned from Baghdad last week , with pictures from the seminar . Most of the mothers and daughters , sometimes both widowed , lost their husbands in violence in 2007 and 2008 . What is left of their homes is a fragmented family structure , compounded with the damage from decades of sanctions and mass exodus , lack of infrastructure , broken education systems and bouts of political corruption . I could n't help but think about the future of the forgotten children of Iraq . That is what war is to me . War is the leftover pain in our hearts and souls . That detachment from home ; trying to reach for safety . As Iraqis ran home from the violence and explosions in neighborhoods such as Karada , they could n't cover their ears and eyes . There is no remote control for Baghdad . Most of your returning soldiers still feel that pain in their hearts . Nothing good came out of this war . There is no victory in any violence . With staggering body counts surfacing , and a possible link to rising cancer and birth defect rates , where do you start looking for justice ? Where do we stand as an international body of people , looking for a new , positive outlook on our future ? What a year . We 've streamed so-called leaders ' deaths in 3G on our cell phones , become obsessed with 3-D and our children are playing Battlefield 3 holding the fate of digital Iran in their little hands . Movies are being made about Iraq as the news unfolds , blurring the lines of reality . The problems this generation are facing feel so big , you start feeling powerless . Sometimes , I still feel small when I think of Iraq . Where do Iraqis go next ? Iraq 's chance at a `` spring '' was robbed and their neighbors are losing balance . Whatever you do America , remember them in your prayers this Christmas season with your kids . As the children of Baghdad ask , `` When will the war really be over ? '' There is always hope in our youth . Peace to the East . Worldwide . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Yassin Alsalman .
Days after departure of American troops , bombs killed and injured scores of civilians in Baghdad . Yassin ##e , whose family is from Baghdad , says the pain of the war is far from over . He says his family live with the grieving , the memories and the loss every day .