Kigali , Rwanda ( CNN ) -- Every year , beginning in April , Rwanda 's government urges its citizens to `` Kwibuka '' -- the Rwandan word for `` remember . '' To remember the hundreds of thousands of lives lost during the country 's 1994 genocide . But all Marie Jeanne wants to do is to forget . The 36-year-old 's entire family was slaughtered during that dark period in her small East African country 's history . The massacre saw Hutu militias and civilians alike murder vast numbers of members of the Tutsi ethnic minority : Men , women and children , many of whom had been their neighbors before the conflict began . The killings finally came to an end 100 days later , when Rwandan Patriotic Front ( RPF ) troops , led by Paul Kagame , defeated the Hutu rebels and took control of the country . To Marie Jeanne the end of the war also meant an end to the repeated , brutal rapes she had been forced to endure at the hands of many different men . `` Wherever we used to go and meet a roadblock at least two would rape you and release you , '' she tells CNN . `` Some could let you go and others would hold you for longer . '' The genocide left Marie Jeanne emotionally and physically scarred , HIV+ and pregnant . She was just 16 years old . Community members gave her shelter and she says some of the women told her they would help her with the abortion she so desperately requested . But as time passed , she knew they had lied to her . Then , the labor pains came . Marie Jeanne says it was some time before she could finally look at her newborn baby girl , who she named Kirezi . And 20 years on , Marie Jeanne says her daughter 's birthday is still a source of pain to her . `` I never remember the birthday of my child because there was nothing good about it , '' she says . `` I have never celebrated her birthday because most of the times I never want to remember it . '' Kirezi mirrors her mother 's pain . Seated on a wooden chair in their small living room , she fiddles with a bead bracelet on her wrist . Her lips tremble as she tries to bare her soul to us . Her anguish is palpable . `` I was born going through all bad things , so I feel that I do n't really care about my birthday . Birthdays are for people who are happy only , '' she says . `` It 's painful - it hurts me , I always ask myself and I lose all my courage . I ask myself why I existed . And ask myself why it happened . And I feel that I am not worth anything . It makes me so sad , '' she cries . Marie Jeanne says she loves her daughter and would do anything for her , but at times she feels that her daughter is a constant , painful reminder of the horrors she went through two decades ago . `` Within thirty minutes my heart can change and I feel bad against her in my heart , '' she says . `` Whenever I see her , I remember so many things . '' Marie Jeanne unscrews a plastic bottle containing anti-retroviral tablets ( ARVs ) . The medicine , taken twice daily , is helping her stave off the worst symptoms of HIV/AIDS . For now . `` During the genocide , the militia deliberately infected women with HIV , '' Odette Kayirere , co-ordinator at the Association of the Widows of Rwanda ( AVEGA ) , explains . At the AVEGA headquarters in Kigali , genocide survivors with HIV/AIDS line up to receive ARVs . Most have similar stories to Marie Jeanne . Passed on from attacker to attacker , they contracted the AIDS virus . For them , this is the legacy of the genocide . `` It was a plan , '' says Marie Jeanne . `` Their aim was to make genocide carry on . '' But Kirezi is determined to unchain herself from the dark past . Instead she dreams of a brighter future . `` I want to be a very important person , '' she says . `` To help people in similar situations as me , vulnerable people like orphans , and also to be a minister . ''
Rwandan genocide took place 20 years ago : Hutu militia massacred members of the Tutsi ethnic minority . Many of those who survived the carnage were left scarred ; rape was used as a weapon , spreading HIV . Marie ##tte 's daughter Marie was born as a result of rape ; 20 years on this still affects both of them . But Kirezi is determined to dream of a brighter future for herself and her country .