( CNN ) -- He felt lonely , said he had n't had a girlfriend since 1984 . He said his father did n't love him . And he detailed plans to kill young women . The gunman , George Sodini , apparently left behind an online diary that detailed his loneliness . George Sodini , the 48-year-old man police blame for killing three women and wounding 10 others in a suburban Pittsburgh gym , left behind an online diary that is as shocking in places as it is profane in others . It offers a rare glimpse into the mind of a suspected killer who police say walked into an aerobics class , turned off the lights and fired more than 50 rounds from multiple handguns . `` Why do this ? ? To young girls ? Just read below . I kept a running log that includes my thoughts and actions after I saw this project was going to drag on , '' the diary begins . Watch how Sodini may have targeted a woman » . It seems almost formatted , like a résumé , with Sodini 's date of birth and date of death . The date of death is listed as Tuesday , the day of the shootings at an LA Fitness center outside Pittsburgh , Pennsylvania . Read an edited version of the diary ( PDF ) A law enforcement source who identified the shooter said Sodini was a member of the gym . The source provided a month and year of the suspect 's birth that matches the month and year listed for Sodini in the online diary . The Web site where the diary appears is registered to George Sodini of Pittsburgh . It lists an address in or near Scott Township ; the law enforcement source said Sodini lived in Scott Township . Throughout the log , Sodini refers to a shooting that he is planning as an `` exit plan . '' His first entry is November 5 , 2008 . `` Planned to do this in the summer but figure to stick around to see the election outcome , '' it says . The December 22 entry says : `` Time is moving along . Planned to have this done already . I will just keep a running log here as time passes . Many of the young girls here look so beautiful as to not be human , very edible . After joining this gym , started lifting weights and like it . '' Two days later came an entry about loneliness . `` Moving into Christmas again . No girlfriend since 1984 , last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why . I am not ugly or too weird . No sex since July 1990 either ( I was 29 ) . '' By December 26 , the writer seems to have picked a date . `` I will shoot for Tuesday , January 6 , 2009 , at maybe 8:15 . I have list of to-do items to make . '' In an entry dated January 5 , he laments , `` Every evening I am alone , and then go to bed alone . ... Why should I continue another 20+ years alone ? I will just work , come home , eat , maybe do something , then go to bed ( alone ) for the next day of the same thing . This is the Auschwitz Syndrome , to be in serious pain for so long one thinks it is normal . I can not wait for tomorrow ! '' Then he loses his nerve . `` It is 8:45PM , '' reads an entry dated January 6 . `` I chickened out ! [ Expletive ] I brought the loaded guns , everything . Hell ! '' A May 5 entry outlines a technique . `` To pull the exit plan off , it popped into my mind to just use some booze , '' the entry reads . `` After the gym , I stopped at Shop N Save and got a fifth of vodka and a small bottle of Jack Daniels . '' The diary recounts a failure with women and a growing anger . `` There are 30 million desirable women in the US ( my estimate ) and I can not find one , '' a May 18 entry reads . `` Not one of them finds me attractive . These problems have gotten worse over a 30-year period . I need to expect nothing from me or other people . '' The entry from Monday recounts practice for a shooting . `` I took off today , Monday , and tomorrow to practice my routine and make sure it is well polished . I need to work out every detail , there is only one shot . Also I need to be completely immersed into something before I can be successful . '' The next day , around 8 p.m. , a gunman with a gym bag strode into the LA Fitness gym , turned off the lights and started shooting without saying a word , police said . Investigators found his body lying atop one of his guns , about 7 feet from a woman he shot .
George Sodini , 48 , is accused of killing 10 women , himself at gym . Online journal called `` a running log that includes my thoughts and actions '' Diary says of 48 attempt to pull off `` exit plan '' : `` I chickened out ! '' George Sodini , vodka purchased in May to pull off plan , Shop N Save says .