( CNN ) -- It 's time for those of us who are good men to start acknowledging the role that male socialization plays in domestic and sexual violence . As good men , we must begin to acknowledge and own our responsibility to be part of the solution to ending violence against women and girls . What is a good man ? A good man is a man who believes women should be respected . A good man would not assault a woman . A good man believes in equality for women . A good man honors the women in his life . A good man , for all practical purposes , is a nice guy . We believe this to be the majority of men . There is a minority of men who perpetuate a tremendous amount of violence against women . These men are counting on good men to stay true to rules -- the rules that actually allow them to be who they are in the presence of good men . These rules are what we call the ingredients in the `` man box . '' These rules are also the foundation of how we as men collectively define manhood . The man box teaches us as men that we must be tough , strong , aggressive and dominating . We are taught not to show feelings and emotions . We are taught that we should be in charge , leaders and protectors . And if we fall short we lose our status and are placed outside the box . TED.com : Rachel Botsman on the case for collaborative consumption . Outside the box is reserved for women , and for men defined as being less than fully male , or `` woman-like '' . The man box at times can be hypermasculine and extremely homophobic . With that being said , `` outside the man box '' is a place most men do n't want to be . So we find ourselves staying true to the rules of the man box , many times operating from a subconscious place , just on remote control , doing what 's natural to us . We as good men do n't realize that every time we tell a boy that he is acting like a girl , we are actually saying that girls are `` less than . '' We all know that a college freshman woman is known on campus as `` fresh meat . '' And while we know that domestic violence is wrong and a crime , it continues to be tolerated in many of our communities . It is with this understanding that our work , our vision , is not to beat up on good men , but instead to help us understand , through a process of re-education and accountability , that with all of our goodness , we still have been socialized to maintain a system of domination , dehumanization and oppression over women . While we as good men would never hurt women , our collective socialization is the foundation that violence against women is built upon . TED.com : Sam Martin on the quirky world of `` manspaces '' There are three key aspects of male socialization that are the foundation of men 's violence against women : . • Men viewing women as `` less than ; '' • Men treating women as property ; . • Men viewing women as objects . We as good men have to find our voice and began to challenge this collective socialization of men . We as good men have to teach our sons and other young men how to truly respect and promote equality for women . We as good men have to envision the world we want to see for our daughters and other girls -- and in that world how would we want to see our sons and other men acting and behaving . We must as good men understand that the world we want for our daughters and other girls wo n't happen through osmosis . We as good men have to break out of the man box , stand up and speak out to end violence against women and girls . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Anthony Porter .
Anthony Porter says most men respect women and honor the women in their lives . He says male dominance enable some to strike out at women . Women are taught not to express their emotions , Porter says . Men who view women as people or as objects help enable this , he says .