( CNN ) -- It 's time for some tiger cubs to approvingly roar for our strict parents , their domineering ways and their inflexibly high standards . The current depiction of tiger parenting is decidedly negative . Kim Wong Keltner 's book on `` Tiger Babies Strike Back '' and Su Yeong Kim 's report `` Does Tiger Parenting Exist ? Parenting Profiles of Chinese Americans and Adolescent Developmental Outcomes '' suggest that strict Asian-style parenting produces an army of disengaged or emotionally stunted robots . While I ca n't speak for everyone , my own experience suggests that such upbringing also gives us the smarts to recognize our emotional and social deficiencies and to address them . My parents are immigrants from Taiwan . I was an only child , and I was expected to excel academically and extracurricularly . So , I delivered . I got straight A 's . I played violin for hours . I did extra math , chemistry and physics problem sets under the eagle-eyed gaze of my mother . Through it all , I cried and screamed . A lot . My mom yelled back . A lot . I told her I hated my life , my teachers , my school and all my activities . She yelled that I just had to get through it . Quitting was not an option . And of course she was right . Opinion : Tiger moms , do n't turn your kids into robots . I owe everything I am and have accomplished to my parents . My family expected a lot from me only because they believed in me and wanted the best for me . They pushed me to excel because they valued me as an individual . Tiger parents express their love through expectation of greatness , not in acceptance of mediocrity . Some people interpret such expectation as parental rejection of their worth as individuals . I always interpreted such crushing expectation as the ultimate belief in my self-worth . I knew that I was not being set up to fail . My mother did not push me to excel because she prized my accomplishments more than my feelings . She listened to my feelings , but she also knew that my teenage feelings were volatile and irrational . She knew better than to let my future be derailed by such feelings . My mother also knows that life has many obstacles , some external , many internal . She loved me too much to let me give up easily when confronted with those obstacles . For that I am eternally grateful . I gained confidence and resilience from tackling my endless workload and from fighting through sleep deprivation . I knew that I was capable of getting through seemingly impossible situations . I knew that if I failed , then I just had to try harder . Failure is not a permanent state , but merely a temporary challenge that had to be tackled creatively . The knock against tiger parenting style is that it does not foster emotional and social development . Well , it partly comes down to expressing love and affection differently . Tiger parents may not often say `` I love you , '' but actions speak louder than words . My family never would have spent the time , money and effortâ€ ” not to mention the emotional energyâ€ ” on me if they did not love me . They never said this , of course . But I knew . Sure , my mother viewed socializing with others as a waste of time . She wanted me to be valedictorian , not homecoming queen . I did n't attend my homecoming . I was probably studying or working on my science project . Now , I readily acknowledge that there is great value in socializing with others , and that my current social skills probably would be better if I had more time to hang out at the mall or at Denny 's . But childhood hours are limited . Each child only has about 157,680 hours before he/she turns 18 . The opportunity cost of being an accomplished child is that it takes away time from making friends and nurturing relationships . For me , the tradeoff was worth it . There are skills that can only be learned in childhood . It is hard for a student to catch up academically if she is significantly behind in high school . But someone can become more self-aware , work on social skills and learn negotiating tactics later in life . Without the skills and expertise that is a result of excelling , I would never have the chance to sit at the important tables to participate in the discussions , no matter how great my social skills . I value my tiger cub upbringing mostly for the tools it gives me to make a difference in my community . I know plenty of grown up tiger cubs who tutor at-risk youth , advocate for the disadvantaged , and generally strive to improve the world . Our childhood accomplishments enable us to meaningfully contribute to our communities . And is n't that where self-awareness and proper socialization lead us all ? The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Grace Liu .
Grace Liu : Some suggest that tiger parenting style produces emotionally stunted kids . Liu : It 's time for some tiger cubs to approvingly roar for our strict and demanding parents . She says by working hard as a child , one can gain confidence , resilience and smarts . Liu : With self awareness , one can learn social skills and negotiating tactics later in life .