( CNN ) -- Saying that `` it 's time to burn the beret and bury the blue dress , '' Monica Lewinsky is writing for the first time about her affair with Bill Clinton . `` I , myself , deeply regret what happened between me and President Clinton . Let me say it again : I . Myself . Deeply . Regret . What . Happened , '' says the now 40-year-old Lewinsky in the upcoming issue of Vanity Fair . Lewinsky maintains the relationship in the 1990s was one between two consenting adults . `` Sure , my boss took advantage of me , but I will always remain firm on this point : it was a consensual relationship . Any 'abuse ' came in the aftermath , when I was made a scapegoat in order to protect his powerful position , '' Lewinsky writes . While a White House intern in 1995 , Lewinsky began a sexual relationship with Clinton . The ensuing political scandal and investigation resulted in the Democratic President 's impeachment by the Republican-led House . The Senate acquitted him of the charges . Lewinsky has stayed virtually silent about the affair the past decade . She writes in Vanity Fair that `` the buzz in some circles has been that the Clintons must have paid me off ; why else would I have refrained from speaking out ? I can assure you that nothing could be further from the truth . '' But she adds that it 's time to stop `` tiptoeing around my past -- and other people 's futures . I am determined to have a different ending to my story . I 've decided , finally , to stick my head above the parapet so that I can take back my narrative and give a purpose to my past . ( What this will cost me , I will soon find out . ) '' Lewinsky was constantly in the media during and shortly after the controversy . She sold a line of handbags in 1999 and the next year she appeared in commercials for diet company Jenny Craig . In 2002 , she appeared in an HBO special on the affair , and the next year she hosted a reality dating program . Lewinsky changed course in 2005 , moving to Britain to obtain a masters degree in social psychology at the London School of Economics . She 's stayed out of the spotlight since . In the Vanity Fair article , Lewinsky responds to reports made public in February that Hillary Clinton , in correspondence with close friend Diane Blair during the 1990s , had characterized Lewinsky as a `` narcissistic loony toon . '' Lewinsky writes that her first thought was : `` If that 's the worst thing she said , I should be so lucky . '' She continued , `` Mrs. Clinton , I read , had supposedly confided to Blair that , in part , she blamed herself for her husband 's affair ( by being emotionally neglectful ) and seemed to forgive him . Although she regarded Bill as having engaged in 'gross inappropriate behavior , ' the affair was , nonetheless , 'consensual ( was not a power relationship ) . ' '' Blair 's personal writings gave insight into the former first lady 's views on the Lewinsky scandal , as well as a host of other issues . The papers were donated by Blair 's family to the University of Arkansas . Asked about those conversations between Hillary Clinton and Blair , Lewinsky writes : `` Yes , I get it . Hillary Clinton wanted it on record that she was lashing out at her husband 's mistress . She may have faulted her husband for being inappropriate , but I find her impulse to blame the Woman-not only me , but herself-troubling . '' And she rejects the `` narcissistic loony toon '' label , saying that she refused to cooperate with interrogators offering the then-24 year old immunity from the threat of jail time in return for wearing a wire to monitor staged conversations with two of Clinton 's confidantes . '' `` Courageous or foolish , maybe , '' Lewinsky writes , `` but narcissistic and loony ? '' The full article will appear in the June issue of Vanity Fair , which will be available in New York and Los Angeles and on the iPhone , iPad , Nook , and Kindle - on May 8 . The magazine will hit national newsstands on May 13 . Clintons ' relationship with media still testy after all these years . In political extramarital affairs , the mistress rarely emerges unscathed . CNN Political Editor Paul Steinhauser contributed to this report .
Clinton speaks out on affair that led to Hillary Clinton impeachment . She says in White House article that she `` deeply '' regrets what happened . Monica Lewinsky says her `` boss took advantage of me , '' but the relationship was consensual . She responds to reports of how Lewinsky responded to the scandal .