( Oprah.com ) -- A recent British study found that the longer couples are married , the less they have to say to each other over the course of an hour-long meal . In other words , the social scientists assigned data to one of my greatest fears : that my husband and I will become the couple in the restaurant eating together , but not saying a word to each other except , `` Pass the salt . '' 6 friends every mom needs . How bad does it get ? Listen to these numbers : Couples who are dating chat for 50 minutes out of the hour . Presumably , breathing , eating and imbibing take up the remaining 10 minutes . Immediately after marriage , the downward trend kicks in , with the time spent talking dropping to 40 minutes per hour . Twenty years into marriage , the average couple talks for 21 minutes of the hour ; 30 years in , conversation takes up 16 minutes . And by 50 years of marital bliss , the average couple converses for three minutes in an hour ! That 's 150 words or less in an entire meal ! I 'm guessing `` Are you still breathing ? '' takes up most of the conversation time . Oprah.com : Unexpected benefits of giving your relationship a cleanup . No wonder Al and Tipper Gore are going their separate ways after 40 years ; they only have about five minutes of conversation a day ! Who would n't want to go back to the chatty days of dating ? And , to do that , apparently , you have to be dating , so time to ditch the spouse . Oprah.com : Is your marriage good-enough ? 10 questions to ask . I , on the other hand , would like to stay married -- but not in silence . After absorbing the findings in the British study , I took a long look at how much conversation my husband of 17 years and I engage in during a typical weeknight dinner , on the rare night when we have dinner together . If you take away the discussion about youth sports logistics , homework plans , trips to the vet and what to add to the grocery list , we are pretty much down to `` Pass the salt . '' Yes , we are the couple in the restaurant even when we are sitting in our home . Oprah.com : The 5-point marriage checklist . Time to reverse the trend , I 've decided . I 've made a list of interests to cultivate over the next 20 years , so my husband and I do n't run out of the little conversation we have left when the kids leave the house and we are stuck with each other . Sports . I picked sports over politics because it still has the same intrigue and passion but not the potential to lead to fights and hurt feelings . And , there are so many sports and only two real political parties , so the variety of topics is greater . I 'm researching esoteric sports like archery and skeeball to throw into the mix during the NFL off-season . Oprah.com : The woman 's guide to understanding football . Food . I have resisted becoming one of those annoying foodies who question the `` origin '' of their vegetables at every meal , but now I am rethinking my position . If talking about field greens will save my marriage , I 'm willing to indulge . Historical Reenactments . We had a house guest last year that participated in historical reenactments of Civil War battles . Seriously , this lovely man never stopped talking the entire weekend about his alter ego , a Union foot soldier . I 'm not really that into the Civil War , but again , if assuming the identity of a battlefield nurse in 1862 will keep my husband and I conversing , I 'll give it a go . Oprah.com : Beware of these marriage traps ! Lian Dolan is a writer and talk show host . She writes and talks about her adventures in modern motherhood for her website , ChaosChronicles.com , and her weekly podcast , `` The Chaos Chronicles . '' Subscribe to O , The Oprah Magazine for up to 75 % off the newsstand price . That 's like getting 18 issues FREE . Subscribe now ! TM & © 2010 Harpo Productions , Inc. All Rights Reserved .
Writer tries to figure out what she and husband can talk about . Recent British study : the longer couples are married , the less they talk . Couples who are dating chat for 50 minutes out of the hour , according to the study . By 50 years of marriage , the average couple converses for three minutes in an hour .