( CNN ) -- Dear 17-year-old self considering staying home on prom night because you do n't have a date , . Oh , you poor , stressed-out , self-hating misfit girl , just suck it up and go . It wo n't be the night of your life , as all those '80s movies and special TV episodes would lead you to believe . The boy you 've had a crush on since junior high wo n't suddenly declare his hidden love for you as he twirls you across the dance floor ( as it turns out , he 'd rather ask someone in a tux to dance ) . There wo n't have been a secret addendum to the ballot electing you prom queen . No one is packing pig 's blood . Your `` virtue '' will remain thoroughly intact . You 'll eat a perfectly adequate chicken cordon bleu in the company of your coupled-up and cuter friends ( one of whose `` virtue '' will undergo a status change after a six-pack of peach wine coolers ) . You 'll dance badly and happily to `` Funky Cold Medina '' while listening to your girlfriends whine about how their dates are ignoring them in favor of the lively card tournament at the corner table . You 'll drink terrible schnapps in someone 's cousin 's hot tub afterward and comfort your tipsy pals as teenage romantic drama unfolds around you . You 'll also learn something pretty fundamental about yourself that night : You do n't need anyone 's permission to experience life or like yourself . I wish you could see what I see , some 23 years later -- that what seems right now like a shameful , public declaration of your unlovability is actually one of the things you 'll use as a source of strength time and time again . When you move to a sharp-edged city where you barely know a soul , board a plane for a solo trip to an unfamiliar country , or walk alone into a glittering party full of bold-faced and beautiful people , you 'll sometimes think about that early vote of confidence you took in yourself , square your shoulders and stride in like you belong . You do . The damaging messages of proms . I know you have n't been made to feel that way -- that the boy who you 'd gone to the previous dance with quite publicly said no this time . That you have n't been kissed since eighth grade . That your parents were not thrilled by the notion of shelling out cash for a dress when your date was technically a school-owned Nikon camera . You 've gone through the indignity of knowing that the faculty advisers had to convene a special meeting to discuss your case and allow you to purchase a single ticket , as they had only ever been sold in pairs . Yes , they decided you could technically attend in your capacity as yearbook photographer ( the pictures will be a huge hit on Facebook -- it 's a future thing -- the year you all turn 40 ) but not all teachers had been in favor of that decision -- and made sure you knew they felt that way . And do you really want to embarrass yourself this way ? Buy your own corsage , fix your terribly permed , purple-tinted hair , take a deep breath , walk in and make some memories , kid , before it all flickers away . High school prom , 50 years later . Just a few short months from now , everything , all of it , will change -- for the better . The college you chose contains your people -- warm , bold , weirdos bursting with life and art and big dreams , and they 'll like you an awful lot . If they 'd gone to the prom at all , it was in a tattered dress and combat boots or a duct-tape tailcoat ( the man you 'll marry attended his with green hair and played in the band ) and they 'll heartily encourage you to take your fussy little prom frock and turn it into a sculpture . The lack of kissing ( and that pesky virtue ) will be tended to in fairly short order in the company of a ridiculously beautiful boy who loves you for all your awkward angles and the fact that you do n't wait to be asked to dance . And when you look back at all the pictures snapped with that yearbook camera , you 'll be awfully glad you handed it off to a few friends as their prom dates spun you around on the dance floor . You 're in a few of those pictures . You look dorky , you look delighted , you look so very alive . Follow Kat Kinsman on Twitter and CNN Living on Facebook . Did you go to the prom alone , with a date or with friends ? If you had it to do all over again , who would you go with -- or would you just skip it ? Please share in the comments below .
Back in the 1990s , CNN 's Kat Kinsman was an awkward teen with no date to the prom . Kinsman thought about not attending but decided to take a chance and go anyway . School faculty tried to discourage her but she forged ahead and attended solo . The decision was a boost to her confidence and helped her navigate other social situations .