( CNN ) -- This week , as I was searching for popular topics and interesting articles , I kept finding posts dealing with obesity . It does n't really make sense , but for whatever reason , the Internet world seems to be fascinated by fat . There was chatter about a new report that says by 2030 half of all adults in America will be considered obese . Essentially , in 18 years most of us will be sweating actual bacon grease . Sunbathing will smell delicious . Reading this report was sort of depressing , but at the same time , it was also kind of encouraging . Depressing , because we 're all becoming a bunch of disgusting fat-bodies . Encouraging , because it sounds like , perhaps , the future holds pie ! Another trending article told how lawyers for an obese death row inmate in Ohio say their client ca n't be executed because he weighs almost 500 pounds -- it 'll cause too much pain and suffering to administer the lethal injection . On top of that , they argue that the gurney literally might not even be able to hold him . I simply ca n't imagine how one actually gains that much weight sitting behind bars , presumably separated by several states and ( at the very least ) a sheet of plexiglass from Paula Deen . I seriously do n't know . Maybe he has conjugal visits with a tub of buttermilk . `` No , silly . I love you more . '' But the story that really got to me -- the one that really tugged at the empty space where my heartstrings would be if I had the ability to feel -- was about a dog . A dachshund . But not just any dachshund . A 77-pound dachshund ! I do n't know how to put this any other way , but ... that 's a huge wiener ! ( Thanks , folks . I 'll be here all week . ) The 5-year-old dog 's name is Obie , and he was originally owned by an elderly couple in Seattle . Apparently , they expressed their love for him through food . And Obie expressed his love for them by becoming a zeppelin . A relative of the elderly couple eventually put out a plea for help , and a willing foster mom emerged in Portland , Oregon . When Obie finally arrived on August 18 , driven down by a friendly volunteer , Nora Vanatta was shocked by the size of her new dog . The former vet tech had seen a lot in her day , but this thing here was blocking out the damn sun . Thus began Biggest Loser , Doxie Edition -- an epic quest to get Obie back into shape . Vanatta started a Facebook page for Obie -- who 's otherwise healthy -- to track his weight loss and solicit donations for help . She also wanted her dog 's story to rally humans . Vanatta wrote , `` My hope is that he can be an inspiration to any person or animal trying to lose weight . It is so important to introduce pups and kids to a healthy lifestyle and food choices as early as possible . Prevention is the key ! '' And she 's right . Good habits make healthy dogs . Hopefully , excessive weight gain wo n't really be something I 'm going to have to worry about with my dog , Mikey . He 's a Great Dane mix who , one would think , could eat the entire contents of my fridge given a full hour and nothing better to do . But , amazingly , he 's not overly motivated by food so much as he 's completely motivated by licking the place where his testicles used to be . I stopped judging him a long time ago . I 've got my hobbies . He 's got his . Still , I do n't get why he 's not completely hyper-crazy-bonkers-insane about food like other dogs . I do n't allow him any people food , so it 's not like he knows he 's missing out on something better . Which he is . Specifically , the McRib . Do n't laugh . I swoon for that stupid thing . It completes me . `` No , silly . I love you more . '' Eventually , Mikey eats . But when he 's full , he stops . This dog literally has the self-control to leave remaining food just sitting in the bowl . Whereas I ca n't remember the last time I did n't lick my plate . I 'm single , ladies . Your parents will love me . But despite my dog 's disinterest in food , what 's even more amazing is that Obie -- that short , stumpy dachshund -- actually weighs more than Mikey . And he 's still completely adorable ! Besides , chubbing out was n't Obie 's fault . Naturally , it was human error . Getting all nice and fat has clearly become the great American pastime . And these days there 's an added incentive , because , now if you manage to get your entire family to weigh more than a Buick they give you a show on TLC ! Though , not to be outdone , Obie has already been on the Today Show . And in his own private version of The Biggest Loser , he 's sure to be the big wiener . ( Thanks , folks . I 'll be here all week . )
Bellini : For whatever reason , the whole family seems to be fascinated by fat . A dachshund named Obie in Portland , Oregon , lost 77 pounds . Obie 's new owner created a Facebook page to track his weight loss . Bellini : I do n't get why my dog 's not hyper - bonkers - insane about food like other dogs .