( CNN ) -- I have a mission for you . One so lofty , so arduous , so utterly impossible that many of you may abandon the cause . We 're going to reclaim the Facebook Poke . Why ? For the same reason we climb mountains , cross seas and eat an entire pie in one sitting : Because it 's there . Yes , since the inception of the social networking site , the mysterious option to poke friends has been available -- and it has n't really changed since then . In the early days of Facebook , a version of the FAQ noted that Mark Zuckerberg and Co. just wanted to create something with no real purpose . That 's not really rational when you think about it . As Anton Chekhov said , `` One must not put a loaded rifle on the stage if no one is thinking of firing it . '' Yup . A poke is basically equivalent to a loaded gun -- an apt description , really , considering it 's become a kind of weird weapon over the years . What started as a mere bauble has morphed into a tool only regularly used by utter and complete creepers . We conducted an online survey of a few hundred of our friends , fans and followers , and 55 percent banished poking to the realm of `` ick . '' Still , when asked whether they had ever poked anyone themselves , 59 percent of respondents said yes . So why the disdain for the digit , yet the predilection for the Poke ? Herein lies the purpose of our mission . Yes , the Poke may have strayed into the realm of 4chan and tell-all web shows , but it has not yet gone the way of Friendster . On that note , we call upon you , individuals of the internet persuasion , to take back the Poke ! Here 's how : . Engage in a poke war with a friend . Yes , it seems entirely retro -- in the way that things from about six years ago seem retro -- but poke wars were all the rage among the socially starved denizens of the original Facebook , and it 's time to bring them back . According to our survey , most of you -- about 60 percent -- would be down with poking a friend , so why not just keep going ? Research suggests that social networking increases levels of oxytocin -- a trust/generosity chemical -- in our brains . So why not stimulate trust via a rash of digital violence most often favored by 5-year-olds ? Remind a faded friend of your existence . `` Oh man , I have n't talked to Jimmy since high school -- you know , after he got all 'excited ' while dancing with Erma , the foreign exchange student , and had to go home 'sick . ' Still , me and Jimmy were tight back in the day . I wonder what he 's up to ? '' Give or take a few details , this has probably been your inner dialogue regarding some shade from your past at one time or another . While you may not feel entirely comfortable writing said friend an e-mail , or giving him a call -- like you still have his digits anyway -- a poke serves as a kind of , `` Hey ! remember me ? We were friends once ! Let 's reconnect ! '' ( Yes , exclamation marks are always inherent in the Poke ) . Think of it as the digital version of an enthusiastic chance encounter at the drugstore -- without all the awkward juggling of dandruff shampoo and condoms . Getting some action . Naturally , the Facebook Poke is replete with sexual connotations . In fact , about 31 percent of those surveyed said they would poke someone they want to sleep with . Michael Gallagher , whose comedy site Totally Sketch recently made a viral video titled `` Facebook Sex : Getting Poked , '' asserts , `` Poking is a way of saying 'Hi ! You 're cute and I 'd like to have sex with you ' -- it 's more than flirting , but not a hard request for intercourse ... which means less impact of a 'rejection . ' '' It 's also a totally weak move . As one of those surveyed said : `` It 's Facebook 's creepy tool of socially acceptable sexual molestation . '' So instead of just poking some dude you 're into , might we suggest a more subtle form of flirtation ? A method that the folks over at SuperPoke -- a popular Facebook application launched in 2007 that allows you to wave , roundhouse kick , etc . -- assure us is a true classic : Throw a sheep at him . If he 's into weirdos , he 'll be totally smitten -- and if he 's unimpressed , he 's probably into boring vanilla poking IRL , anyway .
Columnists : We should take back the Facebook Poke because it 's there . Comment: You can start a poke war with a friend or reconnect with an old acquaintance . Do n't poke with romance in mind ; instead , use `` Super Poke '' and send a sheep .