( The Frisky ) -- When I try to explain my ardor for HBO 's trashy-fabulous soap opera `` True Blood '' to my dude friends , they either shrug and change the topic , or question whether I 've been writing for ladyblogs for too long and am suffering from a form of Stockholm Syndrome . Dudes just do n't dig bloodsuckers , since vampires pretty much look like girls . We prefer zombies , because we love chainsaws , flamethrowers , and samurai swords . And because , on some level , we know that besides being vehicles for sperm , our other important , if lesser , genetic imperative is to defend our loved ones from hordes of unthinking , flesh-eating metaphors for current social anxieties . To most guys , vampires are the monster movie equivalent of that sensitive man-sponge in college who plays acoustic guitar in order to seduce chicks . They 're what you get when you cross your average Renaissance Fair enthusiast with a mosquito . And what 's with their greatest weaknesses being most kinds of Italian food , Sunday school , and the sun , which helps flowers grow ? Really ? Why women find date-rapey parasites who wear capes compelling must have something to do with deeply primal fears . A vampire is a monster , who looks , acts , and talks like a man . Who is passionate , romantic , and tortured . To surrender to this character is to play with fire . The vampire , in many ways , is the prototype of the bad boy . Women love bad boys - they 're exciting , and the chance to change him , to break him like a horse , must be an irresistible challenge . If self-destruction were n't seductive on some superficial level , then no one would ever need rehab . But I am like most guys in that I am a fan of zombie flicks . `` 28 Days Later '' may possibly be my favorite movie ever . I 'm also a fan of alien and robot movies , but more often than not , it seems women are more adept at dispatching those . Zombie movies indulge male power-fulfillment fantasies . We enjoy pretending to be dragon-slaying knights or bad-guy-perforating cowboys or Bruce Willis , saving our ex-wife from a skyscraper full of terrorists . The Frisky : Compliments guys take as insults . Before any feminist blood vessels burst , let me explain that this fantasy goes hand-in-hand with a male-specific fear that speaks to ancient genetic programming . That for all our swagger , testosterone , and machismo , we can not protect those we love . The disaster call for women and children to evacuate first is n't chivalry , inasmuch as it 's evolutionarily smarts . The women and children will continue the species ; the men are disposable . We fear being useless , especially once we have issued forth our baby-making essence . The Frisky : Where all the good guys are . In `` True Blood , '' the vampire Bill has decided to change himself , to fight his ferocious nature . He struggles to be a better , um , corpse . He rejects the cold , bloodthirsty vampirism of his peers , and tries to embrace those human virtues he once had : selflessness , mercy , kindness , and justice . In some ways , he 's less a vampire and more a superhero . Then he falls in love with someone he is told he should n't . And his love for Sookie , a human woman , is a choice he has made , regardless of the scorn heaped upon him by the undead and the living alike . He protects her , despite his fears that he is completely impotent , powerless to defend her from a world that despises them both . And she returns the favor , despite her fears that underneath sweet words and passion is an animal waiting to pounce . A little bit for men and women . The Frisky : Ways men try to impress women . I watch `` True Blood '' because chicks will dig it when I can talk about Eric and Maryann and Action Stackhouse ; it 's how I `` open '' a pick-up artist-style `` set . '' My knowledge of `` True Blood '' will help me convince turbo-hotties to come back to my sweet fourth-floor walk-up in Queens , where I will love them forever , or until I have to call the unemployment office at 10 a.m. , whichever comes first . Sigh . Oh forget it . I love this show , without condition . I love that Alan Ball followed up his twee meditation on mortality , `` Six Feet Under , '' with a show that 's just about hot sexing and gratuitous gore . It 's a soft-core comic book , nothing more , nothing less . I fully accept that there 's a part of me that will always be a pear-shaped teenage goth girl . I mean , I 'm reading the `` True Blood '' books , for the love of Godric . Horror movies , books , and television shows reflect our collective fears , and `` True Blood '' is awesome because it sneaks male fears into a female-oriented program . Also : because all the women are hot and sometimes they show their chest . TM & © 2009 TMV , Inc. | All Rights Reserved .
Writer says the vampire , in many ways , is the prototype of the bad boy . Women love bad boys and the chance to change him , writer says . Zombie movies indulge male power-fulfillment fantasies , columnist says . Comment: