Charlottesville , Virginia ( CNN ) -- A few months ago I had the opportunity to say goodbye to Elizabeth . Knowing her time was limited , Elizabeth Edwards visited Japan , where I am stationed , to show her children where she spent much of her childhood . She had endless fond memories . Her father and family had been stationed here with the Navy . It was unclear whether she would be healthy enough to make the trip , but right before she came she wrote me , apologizing for being disorganized , and asked if we would have time to see her . The last time I had seen her was at her home in North Carolina , right after the campaign ended . Much had changed between then and now . Elizabeth brought her family down from Tokyo to the base in Yokosuka , riding the public train , to meet us on the Navy base -- a base she remembered roller skating on as a child . We had lunch in the Officers Club , where we all ordered hamburgers , and began to catch up on life . She shared stories of what the Officers Club meant to her as a child and talked about how she always felt that she had an instant family around the Navy . Her children who came with her , Jack and Emma-Claire , were perfectly behaved , listening to their mother and talking about the Ninja stars they had just bought . She agreed to tour my office , where she graciously met the other judge advocates general , allowed pictures to be taken with her , and spoke to everyone about her experiences in the Navy . Very much in character , she also took the opportunity to share some specific policy ideas she had to help military families . On a family vacation , toward the end of her life , she was still looking for ways to engage with anyone she could on ideas to improve the lives of others . When John and the two kids went on a tour of one of the ships , she stayed behind . Walking up and down ladders and around a ship would have been too much for her weak body . So , I stayed with her in an air-conditioned car outside of the ship 's gate , and for an hour and a half we talked . We talked about everything , including what had happened during the campaign and what she had been going through afterward . I expressed my disappointment in them , and told her how deeply hurt those of us who put our lives into the causes they championed were by what happened . They were our heroes , my heroes , and we were let down . She listened . She told me her story , what she knew , what ate her up inside as well , but she was n't defensive . It was her life that had been turned upside down , but she let me have my closure . On this July day , she was as she only knew how to be , totally raw . She told me then that she did n't know how much more time she had . She feared most for her children , and what would happen to them when she was gone . How would they fare without a mother ? She wanted to see Cate get married and watch the kids grow up . She was frustrated that her ability to work on the causes she still cared deeply about ( there were many ) was hampered by her husband 's actions . She worried about the future . But she was humble , tested and gracious enough to know that life was n't always about what you wanted . She told me that she had come to believe life is n't valued by how many years we have on Earth , but rather by how many good years we have . And she wanted to live her life out , whatever little she had left , to the fullest . After visiting on base she took the kids shopping in Yokohama , and then we all went to a Japanese baseball game that night . At the game we talked politics , ate ramen , laughed about memories of trekking through Iowa in December and January together , and rooted for players in Japanese . She gave me advice for my career and excitedly explained to me the business model for her furniture store in North Carolina . She stayed six innings before getting tired . We hugged , and she whispered to me that she was proud of me . Then , for the last time , we said goodbye . She was smiling . What made Elizabeth so special was how wonderfully human she was . She embodied in everything she did the entirety of the human experience . She was passionate , edgy , classy , beautiful , unvarnished and sometimes awkward . To many she was frustrating , tough , and stubborn . To many more she was inspirational , intellectual , loving , curious , optimistic and nurturing . She was n't perfect . Yet there was so much beauty in her imperfection . And America fell in love with this beauty . Much in her life was tragic , but she never let herself be a tragedy . Despite the anger and sadness she felt from the challenges life brought her , she never stopped living life on her terms , and sharing her amazing life with us . Thank you for all the good years , Elizabeth . We are more grateful than you could ever know , and we miss you already . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Josh Fryday .
Josh Fryday , a friend of Elizabeth Edwards , said goodbye a few months ago . Elizabeth visited Josh to show her friends where she spent much of her childhood . She said she feared most what would happen to her children without a mother . She said it is n't how many years we have , but how many good years .