( CNN ) -- It 's doubtful there 's ever a perfect time or place to end a marriage , but for Dean McDermott , that time and place was in a Palm Springs , California , hotel room after playing a round of golf . Mary Jo Eustace said she 's been able to take her 2006 divorce from Dean McDermott and turn it into a positive . The actor told his then-wife , Mary Jo Eustace , that he 'd been having an affair with Tori Spelling and that he 'd found his soul mate , Eustace recalled Tuesday on HLN 's `` The Joy Behar Show . '' `` [ He said ] , ' I 'm leaving you -- she loves me unconditionally , ' `` Eustace said . Eustace replied that `` you 've known her [ for ] three weeks . I actually thought it was a joke . I thought I was being punked . But it was true , '' she told Behar . Eustace offers life lessons she learned from the 2006 split with McDermott in her book `` Divorce Sucks : What to Do When Irreconcilable Differences , Lawyers Fees , and Your Ex Husband 's Hollywood Wife Makes You Miserable , '' which arrived in bookstores Monday . Watch Eustace describe her shock » . Donald Trump 's ex-wife Marla Maples ; Dina Matos , ex-wife of former New Jersey Gov . Jim McGreevey ; and Lance Armstrong 's ex , Kristen , also appeared on Behar 's show to break down what happens during and after very public breakups . When Eustace found out her 13-year marriage was ending , she said she was `` in a really ugly bikini -- missing like padding on one side , holding my daughter in my arms , '' but at least the bomb was n't dropped in front of news cameras . Matos was standing right next to her husband when he admitted at a press conference that he 'd had an affair with another man . `` I was in shock because I had only learned three days before that he had been involved in a relationship , '' Matos recalled on Tuesday 's show . `` I was there in the moment . I was there physically but mentally , you know ; I was just trying to maintain my composure and not fall apart in front of the cameras . '' When a marriage ends , `` you think this is the end of your life as you know it , '' Matos said . `` And in some ways it is . You feel powerless . '' Especially once the media picks up on the crumbling matrimony . `` The first week that my divorce was announced ... I saw a picture of my ex-husband with his new wife 's legs wrapped around his head , '' Eustace said . `` You 're in complete survival mode . '' Although Lance Armstrong 's post-marriage flame , Sheryl Crow , was n't the reason his five-year marriage to Kristen ended , she told Behar it was still difficult to watch . And yet the hardest part for Kristen Armstrong was disliking her former husband 's new love . `` I really wanted to dislike her , '' Armstrong said . `` I really did . [ But ] she 's beautiful . She 's smart . She 's funny . She was great with the kids . For as much as I wanted to dislike her and I tried , I could n't . '' Matos said it 's different when your husband leaves for another man . `` When your husband leaves you for another woman , at some point you know there was love in the marriage , and you had something , '' she said on Tuesday 's show . `` But when your husband is not the person that you think he is , you know , he 's an impostor -- then you start questioning every aspect of your life together . What was real ? Did he ever love me ? Why did he marry me ? Later I found out why , '' she said . After McGreevey announced his affair , Matos said she found papers that appeared to be the outline for a book that said McGreevey married her `` for political gain , '' she said . `` He married me because he wanted to become governor and perhaps president . That 's very painful . '' All of the ex-wives said they 've been able to use their divorces as a time to grow . `` You feel dehumanized , horrible , '' Eustace said of divorce . `` With lawyers and fighting and feeling unloved and unlovable , and the media thrown into it , you really have to take care of yourself and to take care of your kids , '' she said . `` It really can be life-affirming ... a wonderful second opportunity in your life . It can be actually , I think , very positive . ''
Joy Behar invited women who went through public divorces onto her HLN show . Mary Jo Eustace talked about how hard it was to watch Dean McDermott move on . Lance Armstrong 's ex-wife , Kristen , said she could n't hate her husband 's new love . Dina Matos said ex-New Jersey Gov . Jim McGreevey married her for political gain .