( CNN ) -- Being a good father is attracting attention these days . Consider : A & E Network plans a new reality show this fall about dads who work at home , called `` Modern Dads . '' The Fox network has ordered a new series co-written by Seth MacFarlane called `` Dads . '' NBC 's `` Parenthood , '' which features some dads at home , has been renewed for a fifth season . Amazon.com carries more than 100,000 books about how to be a father , almost as many as it sells on how to be a mother . Search on Google for `` being a good father or dad '' and you get about 600 million results . Government agencies and private organizations spend millions of dollars promoting responsible fatherhood . Even prisons have caught the fever , offering young incarcerated fathers classes on coping with baby tantrums and preparing baby food . Here 's the problem : Despite the hoopla over involved dads , more children than ever live without a father in the home . In 1960 , the figure was one out of 10 children . Today it 's one out of three . A new study sponsored by the Guttmacher Institute suggests one reason why . Research shows that four out of every 10 new fathers -- especially younger , less-educated men -- said their babies ' births were unintended . And we know from research that those fathers , in particular those who are not married to their children 's mothers , are more likely to walk away from the family than fathers whose children were planned . Could it be that by focusing so much attention on how to be a good father , we have failed to talk enough about when to become a father ? Over the last half-century , fathers have tripled the amount of time they spend with their kids , but that 's only about half as much time as mothers spend . Television studios may be excited about dads who work at home , but in fact such fathers are only 3.4 % of parents at home full time . We consider contraception `` a female problem . '' We discuss the timing of pregnancy and parenting less often with young men than with young women , and even family planning programs have n't been very successful in reaching the guys . This may help explain why 18- to 29-year-old men , who say it is important to avoid pregnancy `` right now , '' are more than twice as likely as young women to say they would be pleased if they found out that their partner was pregnant , according to a 2010 report by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy . The report said this was true both for men living with their partners and those who were not . Perhaps some of those men hold on to the tired assumption that fathering a child makes them manlier . Perhaps others are genuinely interested in having a child . What we know for sure , says Kelleen Kaye , co-author of `` The Fog Zone , '' is that if being a parent is harder than men thought it would be , `` they can easily leave their partners holding the bag . '' And many young fathers do that . In fact the proportion of mothers in this country who are single , 36 % , is rising , particularly among low-income mothers , and it shows no signs of slowing down . Fatherhood should begin not with having a baby , but being thoughtful earlier about how one would support a child . Questions about becoming a father are not that different from those for a would-be mother : Are you in a stable , committed relationship ? How well do you and your partner know each other ? How much do you trust each other ? Do you have enough education to secure a good job ? If you and/or your partner are employed , do you earn enough to support your family ? Are you ready for the lifelong responsibilities of being a parent ? There are other considerations for men who want to be involved fathers that are not so obvious . Stewart Friedman , management professor at the University of Pennsylvania 's Wharton School , raised some of them in a recent blog for Harvard Business Review . Men are increasingly interested in `` engaging more fully as caregivers and homemakers , '' he wrote , but gender stereotypes hold them back . `` Men may wonder , what if I 'm just not a good dad ? What if I 'm perceived by my friends as unmanly because I 'm doing 'women 's work ? ' What if my children seem me as a poor role model because I 'm not the main breadwinner ? What if my boss thinks I 'm less committed because I 'm not at the office as much as the other guys at my level ? '' These are all good , important questions to think about before starting a family . Because the best thing you can do to be a good father is to wait until you 're ready to be a father . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Laura Stepp .
Laura Stepp : Lots of new shows , books and programs on being a good father these days . That 's good , she says , but fewer and fewer American families have a dad at home . Fathers more likely to walk away when a child was unplanned , she says . Stepp : Let 's emphasize that the best way to be a good dad is to wait till you 're ready .