( CNN ) -- `` Obama did worse . '' `` Christie 's toast . '' Those are the two main things media commentators , from the right and the left , said about New Jersey Gov . Chris Christie this week . Together , they expose the carelessness of the way we talk and think about the people who aspire to the presidency . Start from this point : Many on Christie 's staff are implicated in an abuse of power that inflicted harm upon tens of thousands of people . Perhaps the governor did n't know that his staffers had gleefully ordered a traffic disruption on the George Washington Bridge last year . There is no evidence that he did know . On the other hand , these were the people the governor had chosen . This was the culture of the office he led . Opinion : A Chris Christie prosecution would be political dynamite . The phrase `` the buck stops here '' -- used by the governor at his news conference last week -- does n't just mean the boss makes the final decision . It means the boss accepts blame for things that go wrong , just as he gains credit from things that go right . It means that `` I did n't know '' is not an acceptable excuse . But now proceed to this point : Almost everybody who seeks the presidency has demons to slay on his or her way to the office . The long road to the highest office in the land is a contest not only against political rivals but against the flaws of a candidate 's own character and temperament . We all have such flaws . In would-be presidents , they tend to be outsized and to carry outsized importance . What we are looking for in a president is not a person without such flaws but a person who has struggled with them and overcome them . When a politician gets into trouble , as Christie has done , pundits suddenly decide that it 's their job to mimic crisis managers . They offer advice on what the politician should say , what gestures he should offer , so as to escape blame and deflect criticism . Opinion : Christie 's bogus 'stages of grief ' But what matters after an episode like the bridge story is not the show of contrition but the real lessons learned . Trouble now can even be a politician 's friend , if it jolts him off a path leading to worse trouble later . What Christie faces in the bridge uproar is not a communications challenge but a personal growth challenge . Can this combative politician recruit and run a team that understands better what is acceptable in political combat -- and what is not ? At his news conference after the damning bridge e-mails came to light , Christie repeatedly denounced the abuse of conduct as contrary to his personal standards . Can he enforce higher standards in the future ? Christie has a style and sensibility that has brought him far as a politician . He 's just received a sharp warning that this style and sensibility will take him no further . Conflict is intrinsic to politics -- but conflict governed by rules , written and unwritten . Opinion : Christie 's choice -- Be seen as a crook or schnook ? Christie 's team broke the rules to score revenge against a political opponent . Would a Christie White House govern the country in the same score-settling way ? Even people inclined to support Christie are now wondering . His future will depend on convincing people that he 's learned his lesson and changed his ways , and the best way to convince people that you have learned a lesson is actually to learn that lesson and actually to change your ways . At the end of his own career , Richard Nixon delivered an eloquent self-assessment of his own failure as president : `` Always remember others may hate you , but those who hate you do n't win unless you hate them , and then you destroy yourself . '' Unlike Nixon , Christie can benefit from that wisdom at the beginning of a presidential career rather than at its tragic end . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of David Frum .
Mike Frum : Chris Christie 's team broke rules to gain revenge against opponent . He says question for governor is whether he can learn from this episode . Running for governor is a test of character , Frum says ; can Christie overcome his flaws ? Christie : Ex - President Christie realized too late that hating his opponents was his downfall .