( CNN ) -- In some ways , the latest Hugh Hefner engagement is a humorist 's dream . An elderly man , a 24-year-old ex-Playmate -- what do we think each person is getting out of this alliance ? I do n't think you need a Ph.D. to assess the exchange of resources that has brought them together . He has money , fame , a lifetime of good stories and useful networks . She gives him the prestige that a glamorous woman bestows upon her beau , a few virility points ( if we believe that 's part of the bargain ) and the daily flattery of having a beautiful , and we hope nice , woman fussing over him , holding his hand and making sure he gets his vitamins . Not a bad deal for either of them actually . But the May-December couple also offers a bit more to chew on when we think of large age gaps between partners in general and the urge to marry versus cohabit . In order to think about this kind of relationship more seriously , we have to use the much-mated , just-twice-married Hugh Hefner as a jumping off point , rather than wrestle with his particular motives -- not the least of which might be the fact that his marriages are not a bad advertisement for the Playboy brand . As a sociologist who specializes in studying sexuality , love and relationships and as a consultant to AARP , I do not find late-in-life love or marriage ridiculous , nor do I think age gaps between partners are always a mistake . Hefner brings up these issues , but he certainly should n't define them for us . Passion does not necessarily dim over the life cycle . I have a widowed friend who has just turned 83 and has fallen in love again . She had been dating online and asking friends to introduce her to potential partners , because after two years or so of grieving for her husband of many years , she wanted the comfort and thrill of another romantic partner . She found a lovely man , 86 , and they have fallen in love and are enjoying life together . They recently returned from a trip to Italy . They live in different urban communities designed for older men and women and spend a lot of time in each other 's place . They are a wonderful couple . OK , so they are `` age appropriate , '' but that they are in the market for romance at their age is part of the point . I know other successful couples with large age gaps whose marriages would strike envy in the hearts of anyone who met them . My friends Ray and Gail have a 25-year-plus spread and have been married for over 15 years . He is in his early 80s , she in her 50s . They are spectacularly well-suited for one another and have an active life in the state of Washington and doing charitable dental work in the African bush . Love , when it truly happens , is precious at any age . It is possible at any age . And even if it is not passionate love , even if it is just the comfort of companionship and spending time with someone you respect , it is a boon to the heart , health and happiness of both partners . And it can run both ways : A study released in 2003 by the United Kingdom 's Office for National Statistics concluded that the proportion of women in England and Wales marrying younger men rose from 15 % to 26 % between 1963 and 1998 . I hesitate to congratulate Hefner , not because of his age ( he 's 84 ) , or even because of his partner 's age -- but rather because it is hard to know the motives of the rich and famous and the people who marry them . Whether these motives will bring either person in the relationship the support and love that late-life marriage can bring is not known . One final thought : You might be saying , `` But why should they marry ? If it 's love , ca n't they just live together ? They are probably not going to have children ... '' I agree that living together is a good answer for many older people . It is less complicated financially and legally , and it does n't arouse as much fear in adult children that possible inheritances will be compromised . But there is nothing in our society that certifies the intent of two partners in the same way marriage does . Only marriage presents a clear definition of how a couple wants to be seen and treated by the world , their families , their friends and community . Only marriage brings with it a complete body of law , with traditional privileges and obligations . So yes , if that 's what someone wants to say to the world at 84 , the same way they would have said at 34 , why not ? They have the right as adults and citizens . Whether they are making a wise choice of partner is another issue entirely . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Pepper Schwartz .
Pepper Schwartz : Easy to joke about Hugh Hefner 's plan to wed a much younger woman . But whatever the motivations , she says , late-life marriages not ridiculous , not always a mistake . Such unions can provide comfort , companionship , respect , she says . Schwartz : Why not just cohabit ? Marriage certifies intent to society and obligations of law .