( CNN ) -- I have always been a fiercely independent woman . I learned from my grandmother -- the breadwinner in her marriage -- that there was nothing that a woman could n't do as well as a man . I started working when I was 16 years old and , by all accounts , I had achieved a fairly high degree of success as a young journalist in my early 20s . A die-hard feminist , my desire for self-sufficiency did n't stem from a movement : It was personal . A child of divorced parents who always fought about money-related issues , and with my grandmother 's words etched in my mind , I told myself at a young age that I would never rely on a man or anyone to take care of me . I became so defiant about being able to do things on my own that I would rarely even let people buy me meals . That still holds true today . Then , I met `` Tom , '' who was much older and more successful than me . We started dating in my early 30s at a time when my career had me traveling all over the world to report stories . I was neither looking for a relationship nor cared to be in one . A lot of my friends , however , were beginning to settle down and I started to feel like something was wrong with me for not being able to even fathom doing the same . That 's not to say I was n't happy with where I was : I loved my work and I loved the woman I had become . Tom was a nice man who seemed to take a liking to me quite quickly . Like many men of similar ilk , Tom could be aggressive about acquiring things he wanted . Before I knew it , I was being sucked into his vortex . One week we 'd be cruising the Mediterranean in a massive full-service yacht , the next we 'd be on a shopping excursion in Rome . It all happened so fast and I was being exposed to a part of the world that -- despite being well-traveled -- I had never experienced . It started to become glaringly apparent that I was being seduced by a lifestyle . I was becoming a sugar baby . Or at least , that 's how I felt . College 'sugar babies ' date for cash . We all know what sugar daddies are : Wealthy older men have throughout history sought out much younger women -- `` sugar babies '' -- to date , even marry and take care of . Despite the women 's liberation movement , our culture is always reminding us of gender roles . Today , websites like SeekingArrangement.com are making it that much easier for men and women to connect by waving the carrot of support and financial security to attract youth and beauty . SeekingArrangement.com CEO says love does n't exist . While I think Tom liked me because of my independent spirit , I 'm quite sure he hoped that the longer we were in a relationship together , the more likely it would be that I would eventually give up my career and let him support me . He was not at all a bad person , but increasingly , I was starting to feel owned and that I was losing myself . Now there 's nothing wrong with being in a relationship in which one person financially supports the other . We all contribute to our relationships in different ways and in no way should any contribution be trivialized . I just knew that I was in mine for the wrong reasons and that I had compromised the woman I had worked so hard to become . I am now married and have a child with a man who is quite successful in his own right . I know that if I fall onto hard times , he 'll support me , and I will do the same . Even though we 're equal partners in our marriage , it 's important for me to maintain my own identity , career and finances . `` No matter what , '' my grandma always said , `` have your own money . '' In a span of a lifetime , my relationship with Tom was a mere blip . But , it serves as a constant reminder of a time when I did n't recognize myself , and that did n't feel very good .
Lisa Ling describes herself as `` fiercely independent '' and `` a die-hard feminist '' While dating an older , richer man , she became `` seduced by a lifestyle '' that was not her own. Watch `` This is Life with Lisa Ling '' Sundays at 10p .