( CNN ) -- I rarely get to experience fine dining . Mostly because , generally speaking , it also requires fine currency . And pants . Fortunately , I 'm perfectly happy with Lean Pockets , and enjoying one of those rarely requires dignity . But do n't judge . Even Napoleon shared my low-brow culinary interests . The dude loved Lean Pockets . Most people do n't know that . And you wo n't find it in any history books . Seriously , I would n't look that up . All things considered , though , when I do get a chance to partake in a true quality meal at an upscale restaurant ( read : when someone else is buying ) I genuinely enjoy the odd experience of being served really small portions of elaborate food on really large elaborate plates , where 75 percent of the actual surface area is covered by tiny , elaborate flakes of garnish that , combined with the elaborate entrÃ©e , ultimately wo n't prevent me from just ordering pizza a few hours later when I get home so I can finally get to sleep all fat and bloated like I 'm accustomed to . America . Still , while I 'm hardly deserving of such things , I really do enjoy the fine dining experience . And it 's partly because people leave their kids at home . Usually . Recently , however , a couple did n't leave their kid at home , and that 's exactly what caused a heated online debate about the social acceptability of bringing your children to restaurants that do n't have crayons or dancing , human-sized mice that may or may not have done time in Leavenworth . `` Hey kids ! Who wants to hear about the time I shanked a guy ! '' This particular fine dining incident all started when the couple brought their 8-month-old baby into one of Chicago 's swankiest restaurants , Alinea , which has the incredibly rare distinction of being awarded three stars by a renowned tire company . Meals at Alinea start at $ 210 . Reservations are sold as tickets months in advance , and are non-refundable . So I 'm guessing they do n't serve fajitas . The head chef of Alinea , Grant Achatz , later took to Twitter after diners began complaining when the aforementioned 8-month-old baby starting crying . As babies and columnists with crippling self-doubt sometimes do . Achatz tweeted : Tbl brings 8mo.Old . It cries . Diners mad . Tll ppl no kids ? Subject diners 2crying ? Ppl take infants 2 plays ? Concerts ? Hate saying no , but.. It seems that the couple 's baby-sitter had canceled at the last moment , but they decided to go out for dinner anyway because , apparently , the family dog is n't a suitable or legal fill-in . `` OK , Snickers . You 're in charge . '' Not surprisingly , Achatz 's tweet started a much larger conversation online where the general consensus was : Screw your kids . Now , before we go any deeper into this debate , let me first disclose that I do n't have any children of my own ... at least outside of those who may or may not be living in Thailand . And it 's not that I do n't like kids . I do . They say the darndest things . It 's just that ... they 're also kind of sticky . And they require maintenance . Quite frankly , I prefer the company of dogs . Because , while I 'm quite grossed out by the idea of changing a diaper , I 'm somehow perfectly OK with wrapping my hand in a Kroger bag and scooping up a giant , six-pound pile of partially digested IAMS from my lawn . So , yes , I understand that I do n't understand what it 's like to have children . But I also understand what it 's like NOT to have children . And it 's amazing . I nap a lot . Whether this disqualifies me to comment on this subject is up for you to decide . Regardless , we have to ask : Should adults bring their small children to fine dining restaurants ? Almost everyone I spoke to about this agrees with me that there 's a certain level of swank where you sort of have to draw the line . It 's a gray line . But it 's a line . And it runs nowhere near Red Lobster . The kids and restaurant debate later took a bizarre and wonderful twist when somebody created a fake Twitter handle for the 8-month-old child . @ AlineaBaby describes itself as ... a baby who likes fine food , fine drinks , and crying . So , you know . Now there 's that . But what should the no-kids criteria be ? Is it a price range ? Is it a particular style of cuisine ? Or is it something undefined that you just sort of feel ? Chef Achatz eventually spoke about the incident on ABC 's Good Morning America where he simply said , `` I could hear it crying in the kitchen . '' And in response to the pop-up Twitter account for @ AlineaBaby , he tweeted a photo of two giant fish heads and wrote : Definitely not baby food ... And definitely not fajitas . I think we found our line . Follow @ JarrettBellini on Twitter .
A couple brought their 8-month - old baby into Chicago 's ultra - swanky Alinea restaurant . After the baby cried and annoyed other guests , chef Grant Miller tweeted about it . A pop - up Twitter account was created for the crying baby .