( CNN ) -- On Wednesday , the United States Supreme Court heard arguments in my case challenging the discriminatory Defense of Marriage Act , widely known as DOMA . I was honored and humbled by the opportunity to have my case considered by our nation 's highest court . I have also been overwhelmed by the love and support I have received from people all across the country . To be honest , I never could have imagined that this day would come -- the day that I would be `` out '' as an 83-year-old lesbian suing the federal government . My late wife , Thea Spyer , was , and is , the love of my life . Although we could n't live openly for much of our relationship , we became engaged in 1967 with a circular diamond brooch that symbolized the rings we were n't able to wear on our fingers . And we stayed engaged for the next 40 years , caring for each other , sharing all the joys and sorrows that came our way . Victory years after longtime partner 's death . We lived through good times -- with jobs that we loved , great friends and a lot of dancing . But we also depended on each other for strength through the vicissitudes of aging and illness . In 1977 , Thea was diagnosed with progressive multiple sclerosis , which became debilitating over time . First , she had to use one cane , then two crutches , then a wheelchair . In Thea 's last years , she was quadriplegic . We were lucky that the MS never affected her brilliant mind or her cognition , and that she was able to continue seeing patients as a psychologist until the day that she died . In 2007 , we learned from Thea 's doctors that she had only one year to live . When we realized that we were running out of time , we decided to marry in Canada . That marriage was recognized in our home state of New York . We wanted to be married for the same reason most people want to marry : to publicly and legally express our love and commitment to one another . When our wedding announcement ran in The New York Times , we heard from hundreds of people from every stage of our lives -- playmates and schoolmates , colleagues , friends and relatives -- pouring out love and congratulations because we were married . That 's why marriage is different -- it 's a magic word recognized by everyone as a demonstration of commitment and love . When my beautiful Thea died two years later , I was overcome with grief . Over the next month , I was hospitalized with a heart attack , and , in the midst of my grief , I realized that the federal government would not recognize our marriage . DOMA restricts federal marriage benefits and state-to-state recognition of marriages only to unions between a man and a woman . Because of DOMA , I was required to pay $ 363,000 in federal estate taxes that I would not have had to pay had I been married to a man instead of Thea . This was not only painful , it was wrong . I knew that Thea would want me to stand up for our marriage -- and for so many other gay couples and their families who are harmed by this unjust law . I believe that all marriages should be treated equally by the federal government in accordance with the Constitution . We won our case in two lower courts , and have now made it all the way to the Supreme Court of the United States -- which is a monumental feat in itself . I know that Thea 's spirit was with us Wednesday at the oral argument . But our journey is not yet over . If , through my case , our story can help to ensure that the federal government treats all marriages equally , that will be the best possible final chapter in our love story . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Edith Windsor .
Edith Windsor : I never thought I would be an 83-year - old ` ` out '' and suing the government . She and Thea Spyer live in Canada , but DOMA , U.S. does n't allow it . Windsor : This is painful and wrong and Thea would like me to stand up for our marriage . She said marriage equality would be ` ` best possible final chapter in our love story ''