( The Frisky ) -- Like the David Letterman Debacle was n't bad enough , now we have the story of Steve Phillips , the ESPN analyst , who had an affair with a 22-year-old coworker . Unfortunately for the 46-year-old sports dude and married father of four , his latest dalliance ( and apparently there 've been others before her ) turned bunny boiler when he broke it off with her . Brooke Hundley , the jilted junior , allegedly went ballistic ; repeatedly emailing and calling Phillips ' long-suffering wife , tricking their 16-year-old son into an online flirtation , and then finally showing up at the family home , scaring the crap out of everyone . Lucky for Hundley , the Phillips 's declined to press charges , but her reputation , both professionally and personally , is shot . ( His too . He 's since been fired from ESPN and has entered a treatment facility . ) Obviously , being some cad 's side action is always a sucker 's game , but if you 're going to do it , do it right . The Frisky : If he 's not on the market , shop elsewhere ! Choose carefully . It 's bad enough that you 're `` dating '' a married guy , but when you start sleeping with someone who 's in a position of authority over you , you 're screwing yourself twice . Every good grade will be chalked up to your romance with the professor and every promotion , credited to time served on your back . Do n't kid yourself that nobody in your class or office knows , because people are n't blind and you 're not that slick . Do n't go home with him . Maybe he 's too cheap to pay for a hotel room , could be he secretly wants to get caught . . . then again , maybe he 's just a sociopath , but I ca n't even tell you how many times I 've heard about a marriage dude bringing his girlfriend back to the house he shares with his wife and kids -- usually when everyone 's out of town , but not always . Letterman even took his mistress on vacation with his family ! Whatever his motivation , resist . You 're already hurting this woman by having sex with her husband ; at least have the decency to stay out of the bed they share . The Frisky : Can couples get past infidelity ? Accept that you 're No . 2 . Married guys will tell you a lot of things in their quest to bed you . That they have n't slept with their [ insert bitchy descriptor here ] wives for [ insert insanely long period of time here ] and that they 're only staying together for the [ kids/finances/etc. ] . You need to know going in that you will always come second . ( Or third . Or fourth . ) Sure , you might get expensive gifts , but you 'll also be spending nearly every holiday by your lonesome , you 'll never meet his friends , and plans will be canceled on a moment 's notice if something more important ( i.e. , anything ) comes up . The Frisky : How to handle being the other woman . You 're not his first . . . When an acquaintance of mine started an affair with a married coworker , she was furious when I suggested this might not be the first time he 'd strayed during his very long marriage . She screamed that I was a cynic and that their love was a special flower they alone shared . ( On the conference room floor . ) Okay , she did n't use the term `` special flower , '' but that was the gist . A week later I got an embarrassed call back reporting that , contrary to what he 'd told her , he 'd been straying since his wedding day . A cheat and a liar -- who would 've guessed ? ! The Frisky : 10 ways to punish a cheater . ... And probably wo n't be his last . Most guys do n't leave their wives for the women they 're seeing on the side . Yes , I know -- your grand passion is `` different . '' Snort . But what if he actually does splinter the family into bits and make a ( semi ) honest woman out of you ? According to the Web site , `` Beyond Affairs , '' only 3 percent of men marry their affair partner and out of those , only 3 percent of those marriages last . And why would they ? You 're committing to a relationship that was built on lies and deceit . On second thought , maybe you want to rethink this whole `` other woman '' thing . The Frisky : How do you define cheating ? TM & © 2009 TMV , Inc. | All Rights Reserved .
Woman rarely come out ahead after having affair with married men , columnist says . Phillips fired Brooke Hundley 's and Steve Phillips reputation is shot after affair . Brooke Hundley 's says women should realize men rarely cheat just once . Quotes Web site saying 3 percent of cheaters wed , only 3 percent of those marriages survive .