( CNN ) -- `` There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one 's head spin . But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people 's pain . '' -- James Baldwin . No doubt most people who listened to Ariel Castro 's self-serving monologue during his sentencing hearing on `` consensual sex , '' and `` harmony in that house , '' wondered at his sanity and his definition of `` monster . '' Sanity , however , is judged by reality testing and not by caring or compassion . Human cruelty is not a disease or a mental illness , although it is a plague on humankind . As someone who has worked with violent offenders for 35 years , I can tell you unequivocally the number of offenders who deny , minimize or justify their behavior far outweigh the number who take responsibility . Never mind the tortuous loops the mind has to jump through . If the sex was consensual , what exactly were the chains and locks for ? There is no limit to the mind 's ability to rationalize . A man who beat a 3-year-old to death told me that he only committed violence when `` the situation called for it . I never did anything I did n't have to do . '' When asked how he feels about the boy 's suffering , he replied , `` I guess I do n't feel anything . '' When asked if he saw himself as a criminal , he said , `` I know that 's what I 'm seen as but no , I do n't . '' A man whose brother took him in when he had no place to go after being released from prison raped his benefactor 's 12-year-old daughter -- his niece -- and stabbed his brother 12 times when he came to her rescue . When asked why he did this , he replied : `` I was drinking . It just happened . ... You ca n't blame anybody for the rain . You ca n't blame anybody for nothing . '' We are familiar with whole cultures justifying violence as extreme as genocide . Why are we surprised when individuals do the same ? Violence is almost always denied or rationalized -- after the fact , if not before . Even violence that appears impulsive is usually related to thinking patterns and beliefs that justify it . Such rationales are important to protect self-image . Again it was Baldwin who said , `` No man is a villain in his own eyes . '' As to Castro 's claim that he had an illness , a sexual addiction , there is a difference between urges and behaviors . Castro could have dealt with his urges by seeking help . Medication and treatment have been available for sex offenders for well over a decade . Would they have worked ? Who knows ? He did n't try . He made a decision to live out his sexual fantasies , not to try to control them . In treatment , at the least he would have learned how not to reinforce the fantasies through violent pornography . At least by telling someone , he would have had some check on his behavior . Castro may not have chosen the fantasies that dominated his dreams , but he chose to act on them -- for more than a decade . Even the most persistent urges are not present 24 hours a day . All Castro needed was for 51 % of him to have an attack of conscience for a few minutes and want to release those women long enough to open a door . In more than a decade he never had it . In fact , he tormented his victims not only in sexual ways but in nonsexual ways as well : He showed them TV coverage of their families grieving . He told one that her family did n't care about her . He fed them once a day . He beat a pregnant woman until she miscarried . None of these speak to sexual urges ; these acts speaks to psychopathic traits : the lack of a conscience , lack of caring about other human beings , callousness , lack of guilt and lack of remorse -- in short , malevolence , the desire to harm another human being gratuitously while being contemptuous of her pain . Even now , he has shown no genuine remorse or regret . What we saw at the hearing instead was a cocoon of aggressive narcissism wrapped so tightly Castro could proclaim with a straight face that chained women were having sex with him consensually . Yet at the same time he asked for their forgiveness . No doubt there are those who will advise the victims they must forgive in order to move on . I disagree . Forgiveness is not a gift ; it must be earned . Atonement and change must precede forgiveness or else it is an empty gesture . It is difficult to imagine how much Castro would have to change for forgiveness even to be legitimately on the table . I 'm not sure his sentence is long enough for that to happen , and to date , he has not taken a single step . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Anna Salter .
Anna Salter : Ariel Castro believed he had `` consensual sex '' with chained women . Salter : Most predators justify their behavior ; it 's not sexual , it 's psychopathic . If Castro believed he had an addiction , she says , why did n't he seek help ? Salter : Forgiveness must be earned : Castro has not taken a step to atone .