( CNN ) -- A few years ago , when I would tell people that my husband was deployed to Afghanistan , they would often respond with , `` Well , at least he 's not in Iraq , '' a comment I always found ignorant and irritating . But now , with the Iraq war ending , I am grateful that my husband 's deployments were all to Afghanistan , to the war that the world -- at least temporarily -- forgot . Today I am grateful the name `` Iraq '' is not in my family 's scrapbooks , our memories or the stories we will pass on to future generations , though my reasoning has nothing to do with the actual fighting that took place there . I am grateful because , to many Americans , Afghanistan is still the `` good '' war , the one we had to fight . Iraq was the war that many never understood nor supported . The Iraq war was tied up from the start in confusion and wrapped in acronym . There were missing WMDs and deadly IEDs , soldiers with PTSD and TBI returning home only to struggle through deplorable conditions at Walter Reed . There was sectarian violence that stretched from mosque to mosque , fueled by centuries-old religious disputes between groups most of us had never even known existed . Our belief in the goodness of our own people was challenged when perverse pictures from Abu Ghraib appeared on the evening news . There were stories of made-up heroism , shortages of body armor , an array of military contractors who were neither soldiers nor civilians but lived instead in a shady gray area -- and there were terrifying kidnappings that tragically often ended in death . Through it all were earnest-faced troops mugging in YouTube videos and talking to embedded reporters , slogging through their fourth , fifth and sixth deployments away from their homes and their families . The good news -- the neighborhoods that were made safe , the schools and hospitals that were opened , the proud purple-fingered elections -- was often eclipsed by the bad news and the learning curve for Americans was steep , too steep . Pretty soon it all became too much to take . So I am happy to have never had a `` Half My Heart Is in Iraq '' sticker on my car because now , nearly nine years after the start of the Iraq War , people do n't shake their heads and look down when I talk of my husband 's deployments . They do n't suck in their breaths and say to me , `` What a waste . '' My family does n't have to suffer the comments and opinions of others for our part in a war that was never ours to choose -- at least not now , though I suppose that could still change . The thing is , my husband did n't get to decide where he went to fight . He signed up for the Army and the Army told him where to go . In fact , my husband and I , like many in military families , never thought of the two conflicts as being separate wars . To us this war was always one war with two fronts . The bullets and the IEDs killed the same in either country . Where the plane landed and the deployment began was simply the luck of the draw . But now that the war in Iraq is over , there 's not likely to be a second `` Mission Accomplished '' banner to herald the end . The ticker tape will stay tightly wound . The confetti wo n't get thrown and the marching bands will save their energy and their songs for Christmas parades . There will be speeches and praise , kind words and kudos -- and there will undoubtedly be families overjoyed to be together to celebrate the holidays -- even if they have to celebrate a week or two late . But the day the Iraq war ended wo n't be noted on future calendars because the rightness of our involvement in that country still has yet to be determined . After nine years of Iraqis looking to us to decide their future , the future perception of America 's presence there now rests almost entirely with the Iraqis . If their country is better for our sacrifices , history will look kindly on our efforts . But if Iraq falls apart , the time and treasure we spent there -- both monetary and human -- will likely be seen as wasted . So , though I 'm glad to not have that Iraq baggage in my family , I worry now for all my friends who do . It is a horrible thing to have given tremendously to a cause that others do not respect . Our nation 's mission in Iraq will end this month with full flights of weary soldiers and thousands of tons of gear . Those who make up the last of America 's fighting force there will come home , unpack and sleep off some of their exhaustion , and then they 'll put their uniforms back on and go right back to work on their military bases . It will seem , in many ways , like a war that never happened -- a nearly nine-year-long bad dream . I hope that , going forward , Americans will keep in mind that the men and women who served in Iraq did so honorably and nobly and that they and their families sacrificed greatly for our nation . They deserve the gratitude of the nation that sent them -- again and again and again -- to war . The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Rebekah Sanderlin .
Rebekah Sanderlin : To many Americans , Afghanistan is the `` good '' war , as opposed to Iraq . Iraq was the war that many never understood nor supported , Sanderlin says . Like many in military families , I never thought of them as being separate wars , she says . Sanderlin : I hope Americans know that those who served in Iraq did so honorably and nobly .