As the bright , smiling face of morning TV in the Noughties Fern Britton shocked fans when she admitted to struggling with crippling depression . The mother-of-four had her first experience of depression as a child and has suffered attacks throughout her adult life . Things were so difficult at one point that she planned to crash her car into a brick wall . And in an interview with The Telegraph on Saturday the 57-year-old revealed how close she came to suicide one day after her divorce from first husband Clive Jones . Scroll down for video . Presenter Fern Britton , who suffers from depression , has revealed how close she came to suicide following her divorce from first husband Clive Jones . The presenter and author , who has been married to her second husband TV chef Phil Vickery , 53 , for fifteen years , claims she knew the marriage was never right , but remembers the time after the divorce being particularly bleak . Fern , who had three children with Clive , twins Harry and Jack , 21 , and Grace , 18 , and has another daughter , Winifred , 13 , with Phil , said : ' I remember very clearly , when they were all little and sitting around the table , all shiny-faced and having their supper , and I 'd think : `` Right , you 've got everything you want . Lovely ! Now I 'm just going to pop upstairs and kill myself . '' ' Meeting Phil whilst working on Ready , Steady , Cook was something of a salvation for the blonde , who finally came off anti-depressants last year but admits she is fully expecting to go back on them when she has another episode . Fern and husband Phil Vickery will celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary next month . The couple met on the TV food show Ready , Steady , Cook . At least now she has learned to recognise the signs , telling Good Housekeeping this month : ' I haven ’ t had an episode for a long time . I ’ m cross that it ’ s been there and that it lurks around , but I ’ ve started to understand it more . I reached a stage where I knew when it was coming , hurtling towards me , and I thought , don ’ t run away , just stand there , brace yourself , and let it happen . Because I knew it would pass . People who are going through their first or second episode don ’ t trust that it will pass – but it really will . ' Today , as she promotes her sixth novel ' A Good Catch ' Fern is happy , positive and looking forward to a bright - and Botox-free - future . Phil , 53 , and Fern , 57 , have four children between them . The author has declared that she has no interest in cosmetic surgery , deciding instead to grow older gracefully . She has declared that she has no interest in cosmetic surgery , deciding instead to grow older gracefully , telling Bryony Gordon : ' I know I 'm never going to look the way I did when I was 25 , but I know I could look very odd . So this is what 57 is , and this is what 57 looks like . ' I 'm going to stop looking back and only look forward . I 've got . what , 25 years left ? I 'm going to enjoy them . I 'm going to cycle until I am 70 . I 'm not going to get Botox or have things done . I 'm going to show my children that this is what humans do : we get older . ' The keen cyclist , who starts a three-week cycle from John O'Groats to Land 's End to raise money for Genesis Research Trust next week , insists that being fit is more important to her than looking younger , saying : 'My bosoms are dropping ? Blah , that 's life ! I am vain about being as fit as I can be – not about my wrinkles . I ’ ve had that conversation with myself about , should I do Botox , should I do this , should I do that – and I ’ ve talked myself out of it . I ’ d prefer to be the woman I should be . I ’ m 57 , and I look like a 57 year-old , and I ’ m happy . '
The TV star has suffered with episodes of depression since childhood . Contemplated suicide following divorce from first husband . Celebrating 15th wedding anniversary with husband Phil Vickery in May . Has just penned a sixth novel , A Good Catch . Says she has talked herself out of Botox , is happy to look like a 57-yr-old . For confidential support call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-TALK ( 8255 ) in the UK , or call the Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 , visit a local Samaritans branch , or click here .