A writer and victim of date rape has revealed why she is pushing for 'yes means yes ' sex contracts to become mandatory on college campuses across the country . New Yorker Amanda Chatel explained in her essay for Your Tango that adoption of the 'yes means yes ' law , which defines consent as 'affirmative , conscious , and voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity ' from each partner , is just one step in combating society 's prevalent rape culture . 'As a victim of date rape , when it comes to consent I strongly feel there is no grey area , ' she wrote . 'Unfortunately , at the time , I was too young and naive to realize that because I never actually said , “ No , ” I was a willing participant . ' Inciting change : New Yorker Amanda Chatel explained in an essay that she is a victim of rape who is advocating for 'yes means yes ' laws to be passed in states across the country . The 'yes means yes ' law , which was first passed in California in 2014 , is a spin on the old sexual assault mantra 'no means no ' . The legislation declares that all colleges and universities taking financial aid funding from California must adhere to the standard for consent outlined by the law , which reiterates that a lack of resistance or objection does not imply consent - a concept that Amanda struggled with years following her sexual assault . Amanda explained for a long time she blamed herself because he 'came on strong ' and she was a 'bit inebriated ' 'But now , several years later , I know , more than ever , that my consent was not given , and it was rape . End of story , ' she wrote . Amanda even noted that she was unable to attach the word 'rape ' to what had happened to her and instead referred the assault as 'sex I didn ’ t want ' . At the time , she said that like many women , she did n't even consider going to the police after she was raped , a mistake that she noted she will 'never make again ' . According to statistics , an estimated one out of five women will be sexually assaulted during their college careers . No shame : The New Yorker wrote that she blamed herself for years after her sexual assault because never actually said 'No ' , even though she was n't a willing participant . 'It ’ s both disheartening and disgusting that we even need a law that stipulates that a woman must be able to give consent or else it ’ s rape , ' Amanda said of today 's rape culture . In Connecticut , state officials are now considering the adoption of a similar 'yes means yes ' bill . And while Amanda said the law is 'great in theory ' , she explained that 'we need to change the way people think of rape ' before the law will prove to be effective . ' I believe more than anything is that we need to teach boys and men NOT to rape , ' she said . 'We need to make them see that women and girls are not their personal playthings , that we were not put on this earth for their pleasure , and if we drink too much at a party , that we sure as hell are n't `` asking for it '' , ' she added . And at least two California lawmakers agree with her . Last month , Senate President Kevin de Leon and Assemblywoman Hannah-Beth Jackson announced that they were introducing legislation that would call for school districts with mandatory health education requirements for graduation to include sexual violence prevention as a mandatory part of the curriculum , including instruction on the recently approved 'yes means yes ' law . 'If we want to prevent sexual assault , it ’ s important that we start early , ' Ms Jackson explained in March . She continued : 'This bill will ensure that discussions about healthy relationships and consent are taking place in high school , with young women and young men , so we can help establish boundaries of acceptable behavior . '
Amanda Chatel argues that nationwide adoption of the bill is just one step in battling society 's prevalent consent laws . The ' yes means yes ' legislation defines consent as ' affirmative , conscious , and voluntary consent to engage in sexual activity ' from each partner . It was passed in California last year , and state officials in Connecticut are now considering the adoption of a similar ' yes means yes ' bill .