( CNN ) This week , social media heralded as # motheroftheyear Toya Graham , the Baltimore single mom who pulled her son , who was holding a brick , away from the scene of a riot . A video of Graham yanking young Michael from a group of protesters -- and subsequently pummeling him with her fists and a few slaps upside the head -- went viral . Many called her a hero : a mother determined to stop the cycle of violence . And yet , was n't she also promoting violence ? Her own reaction , after all , was to yell , curse and hit . `` Why is America celebrating the beating of a black child ? '' asked a writer at The Washington Post . Is n't violence at home what leads to violence outside the home ? Is n't this why rioting happens ? I 'm not excusing violence in any form . I wish it did n't exist . But Baltimore is n't on fire because of mothers like Graham . In fact , what we need , not only in communities like Baltimore but also in communities around the country , are more mothers like her . Mothers who will do whatever it takes to protect their children and steer them through the increasingly tricky course of adolescence . I do n't see Graham as an abusive mother spreading the gospel , or at least the inevitability , of violence . I do n't see her as a hero , either . What I do see in Graham is a woman who is just like millions of other mothers of adolescents , mothers whose daily struggle is focused on guiding their kids in a positive direction while also helping them develop their own identities and independence . Mothers who know the anger and frustration that can result when they catch their teenager in a lie . As Graham told Anderson Cooper , she 'd told Michael the night before not to join in any riots . He swore he would n't . But her momma bear sense kicked in , and when she heard that school was closing early , she did n't take the chance that he 'd stick to his promise . She went to the site of the riots to make sure that she could help him stay the course . She went there so that she could help him keep his promise . And when she got there and saw he had n't , as she suspected , she reacted in the way that she knew would , in that moment , be most effective to get him out of there . And that 's the key here . It 's easy to punish a teenager for acting out , just as it 's easy to punish Graham for taking out her frustrations on Michael in a physical way . But Graham 's actions are evidence of her commitment as a parent . For better or worse , she knows her son . And she knows her community , and her reality . She knows that she 's the mother of an adolescent boy living in a city caught up in a very heated , violent moment . And she will do anything to protect her son , including put herself in a dangerous situation to pull him out of there . Can we all say that ? Toya Graham raises an important point that 's often missing in the discussions of how to curb violence : Moms have power . The world needs more momma bear types -- mothers who might be willing to put themselves between their child and certain danger . Mothers who are willing to defy the `` expert '' advice telling them that teenagers need the room to make mistakes ; that hovering or even trying to anticipate their misbehavior only stunts their development and leads to more misbehavior . Now more than ever , there are exceptions to that rule . Those of us who live in communities that are generally safe ca n't imagine the level of fear and frustration that must run through the very core of a mother like Graham . We do n't all face the same obstacles as the people who live in places like Baltimore . But we all face the same challenges in raising children . Perhaps it 's time to recognize that , at least in that sense , we 're more alike than we are different .
Peggy Drexler : Video of Toya Graham hitting son as she drags him from protests has raised questions . Was she a hero ? Abusive ? Neither , she says ; she was a mom trying to steer her adolescent in a heated city conflict , and more moms need this kind of commitment .