This contradiction leads to the recurring absurdity of his life: the desire to overcome those on whom his life depends, and the horror that he will succeed at this.
ðɪs kˌɑːntɹədˈɪkʃən lˈiːdz tə ðə ɹᵻkˈɜːɹɪŋ ɐbsˈɜːdᵻɾi ʌv hɪz lˈaɪf: ðə dɪzˈaɪɚ tʊ ˌoʊvɚkˈʌm ðoʊz ˌɔn hˈuːm hɪz lˈaɪf dᵻpˈɛndz, ænd ðə hˈɔɹɚ ðæt hiː wɪl səksˈiːd æt ðˈɪs.