ɪnðə wˈʌn θˈaʊzənd ˈeɪthˈʌndɹɪd sˈɪksti z wˈaɪld wˈɛst, ɐ ɡɹˈuːp ʌv mˈɪsfɪt sˈɛtlɚz, ɪŋklˈuːdɪŋ ˈɛksdˈɑːktɚ fˈɪl tˈeɪlɚ, pɹˈɑːstɪtˌuːt bˈɛl, ænd ɡˈeɪ bˈʊksɛlɚ dʒˈuːliən ɹˈɑːdʒɚz, dᵻsˈaɪd ðeɪ kænˈɑːt lˈɪv ɪn ðɛɹ kˈɜːɹənt sˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃən ɪnðə wˈɛst, sˌoʊ ðeɪ hˈaɪɚɹ ɐ ɡɹˈɪzəld ˌælkəhˈɑːlɪk wˈæɡən mˈæstɚ baɪ ðə nˈeɪm ʌv dʒˈeɪmz hˈɑːɹloʊ tə tˈeɪk ðˌɛm ˌɔn ɐ dʒˈɜːni bˈæk tə ðɛɹ hˈoʊmtaʊnz ɪnðɪ ˈiːst.
In the 1860s Wild West, a group of misfit settlers, including ex-doctor Phil Taylor, prostitute Belle, and gay bookseller Julian Rogers, decide they cannot live in their current situation in the west, so they hire a grizzled alcoholic wagon master by the name of James Harlow to take them on a journey back to their hometowns in the East.