ɪnstˈɛd, mˈɑːɹtɪn dᵻsˈaɪdz tə ɡˈɪv hˈæf ðə mˈʌni ɐwˈeɪ tə pˈɜːsənəliaɪdˈɛntᵻfˌaɪd wˈɜːði kˈɔːzᵻz, ˈɔːl ʌv hˈuːm, tə mˈɑːɹtɪnz bᵻmjˈuːzmənt ænd dɪsmˈeɪ, ɛntˈaɪɚli mˌɪsɪntˈɜːpɹɪt hɪz dʒˈɛstʃɚz ʌv dʒˌɛnɚɹˈɔsᵻɾi.
Instead, Martin decides to give half the money away to personally-identified worthy causes, all of whom, to Martin's bemusement and dismay, entirely misinterpret his gestures of generosity.