hɪz bˌiːɪŋ ɐlˈaɪv ænd wˈɛl wʊd mˈiːn ðæt hɜː fˈɑːðɚ hæd wˈɪlɪŋli tʃˈoʊzən tʊ ɐbˈændən hɜːɹ æz ɐ tʃˈaɪld, ænd ðæt ɪz ɐ θˈɔːt wˌɪtʃ ʃiː kænˈɑːt bˈɛɹ.
His being alive and well would mean that her father had willingly chosen to abandon her as a child, and that is a thought which she cannot bear.