kˈɔflɪn tˈɔːt hɪz ˈʌmpaɪɚz tə plˈeɪ "ðə stˈɑːɹ spˈæŋɡəld bˈænɚ" ɪf fˈaɪts ɪɹˈʌptᵻd ɐmˌʌŋ ðə plˈeɪɚz, kˈɔːzɪŋ "ɹˈɑːks hˈɛld ɹˈɛdi tʊ ɐvˈɛndʒ ɐn ʌnpˈɑːpjʊlɚ dᵻsˈɪʒən" tə fˈɔːl fɹʌm "ɹˈɛvɚɹənt hˈændz."
Coughlin taught his umpires to play "The Star Spangled Banner" if fights erupted among the players, causing "rocks held ready to avenge an unpopular decision" to fall from "reverent hands."