hɪz saɪkˈɑːɾɪk wˈɪmz ɪŋklˈuːd dɪspˈætʃɪŋ ðɪ ɛntˈaɪɚ kwˈæhɑːɡ pəlˈiːs dᵻpˈɑːɹtmənt tə kˌɑːɹɾədʒˈiːnə, kəlˈʌmbiə, tə sˈɜːtʃ fɚðə fˈɪkʃənəl kˈæɹɪktɚɹ ᵻlˈeɪn wˈaɪldɚ fɹʌmðə nˈaɪntiːnhˈʌndɹɪd ˈeɪɾi fˈoːɹ fˈɪlm ɹoʊmˈænsɪŋ ðə stˈoʊn, ɔːɹ wˈeɪstɪŋ sˈɪɾi kˈaʊnsəl mˈʌni ˌɔn ɐ sˈɑːlɪd ɡˈoʊld stˈætʃuː ʌvðə dˈɪɡ ˈɛm fɹˈɑːɡ, ænd sᵻmˈɛntɪŋ kˈɔfɪnz sˈɪns hiː wʌz ɐfɹˈeɪd ðə dˈɛd wɪl ɹᵻtˈɜːn æz zˈɑːmbiz.
His psychotic whims include dispatching the entire Quahog police department to Cartagena, Colombia, to search for the fictional character Elaine Wilder from the 1984 film Romancing the Stone, or wasting city council money on a solid gold statue of the Dig 'Em frog, and cementing coffins since he was afraid the dead will return as zombies.