you need to decide what you want going forward. plan a best case scenario and a worst case scenario and maybe a middling case scenario too. figure out what the line is for you so you are prepared if he crosses it. 

letting him just bum around for six weeks is both quite generous of you and is quite enough of that bs. now you need to figure out your wants and needs then tell him it’s time to talk. i think you’ve already started accepting that this might be the end, but the not knowing for sure is not going to make you sick from stress. he’s off being fake 21 again while you are running your business, keeping your home and raising your two children. that isn’t acceptable. forget about how you vowed in sickness and in health etc- you’re holding to those vows. he’s breaking them. daily. he doesn’t even ask how you are? 

i have sympathy bc he’s clearly going through something, but as a husband and parent you don’t just get the option to check out the way he has. you said he’s started counselling. which is good. i think you need to add marriage counselling to the schedule. even if this is going to be the end of your marriage- and i really hope it’s not- a third party can help you both communicate with each other in the most productive manner. 

i truly hope this works out for you. whatever happens, you seem strong and i know you will get through it.