Topic: someone else with cc
In the last two weeks I had a birthday, on 17th was 19 months since Wayne went to see Jesus, then the 28th was our 37th anniversary. A friend I work with suspected she had cc. Before she found out we talked all the time, gave each other hugs. She made me come to the realization that it wasn't the doctors fault, that I had blamed since day one. I realized it might have been worse if we had known the truth of how long. I spoke to one of my therapist she said that was a big personal step for me. Then my friend found out that she does have cc, now she doesn't want to even speak to me. Cancer is not transferred from one person to the next, if this was true we all would be dead. I have been in clinical depression for one and a half years, I have thought of suicide, I have a no harm contract with my therapist, to call someone if I feel I need to. I felt well coming to work today, until my friend (I know she is ill) wouldn't speak or come near me. I always said I scare people for I have lived their future. I have my lows, then my real lows, my lows turn into real lows very fast, my therapist is out of the country until Monday, I might tonight call a member of my hospice group, I've cried alot today while I'm alone. This horrible monster want be happy til it kills us all.
I'm not a widow, I am a wife
We are only apart for heaven's sake
You are waiting for me at heaven's gate