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How do I get it all done? I know so may people who do so much and accomplish so much, yet do it with grace and seem to be so clear in the process. I feel a bit like a panicked creature lately- sometimes wildly optimistic, and other times totally terrified and shut down around moving forward. Is this normal? Is it normal to have such mood swings when making changes? If something is right for you, isn't it supposed to be easy? 
Well, Caroline, this is a good starting question. Thank you for sharing it.
If there is one question I hear more often than any other from clients, it is "is this normal?" or "Is this the way this process is supposed to work?" This makes me a little sad, because it shows how trained we are to think that our progress is supposed to be compared to other people's and that there is a right or a wrong way to do things.
I remember being in fourth grade and doing reading units. We had to read stories in colorful pamphlets and answer questions about them and our reading ability was judged by how many we got done over the course of a month or a semester. Each section was a different color and classmates would flaunt their advanced color packets as they moved along as if it made them superior students. Funny. There was no way to judge how much we each enjoyed the reading material or how much we retained of the information later. It was a churn and burn factory.
These messages are still deeply ingrained in each of us from early days of learning. Standardized testing convinces us that there is a standard, when life satisfaction and progress is the most unique and individual concept I have ever had the privilege to encounter.
My question to you, Caroline, is whether you feel you want to tackle everything with calm and grace because you have decided this is the right way to do things OR if it is a method you have discovered makes you feel better and happier. Some people are happy sprinting around in a cloud of chaos and I think have every right to proceed that way as long as they are happy doing so and it isn't hurting anyone else. The only comparison I would try to make here would be between you working in a way that feels good and you working in a way that feels bad. If the only failure here is to live up to a standard that you have decided is better, I would say you are doing just fine. Stick to what works for you, even if you are concerned others wouldn't agree with you.
It is ok to have difficult patches. We all do. The question is whether or not we are able to give ourselves permission to proceed anyway. As long as you keep moving forward towards your goals you are succeeding. Even if it is at a slower pace than you expected. Even if your files aren't perfect. Give yourself permission to check in with who is doing this judging about how you are getting things done. And then decide whether or not that is a standard you'd like to live up to.
If so, then trust that what feels best to you is the way to go, even if it looks different than you thought it would.  Trust yourself and take big breaths. If it felt right to begin the process you are in, then hold onto that. The only thing that may be getting in the way right now is your method of attack.
Keep up the good work. Yay for you!

