I love your Friday coach like this week because this is exactly what I want to tell you about today.
And today, I’ve realised that all those shoulds were self-reproach and they were getting me nowhere near my goal. Doing thought downloads, I’ve found this little sentence: “the more I reproach myself with X, the more I care.” So I’ve definitely been indulging in self-reproach.
T – the more I reproach myself with X, the more I care about X.
But I also understand now that it’s the intensity of that emotion that matters most. And if I want to feel intensely, there are many other emotions I’d rather feel than self-reproach: compassion is the first one that comes to my mind.
T – The more compassionate I feel towards myself, the more I care.
R – I feel even more love and compassion for myself.
What’s more, when I feel self-reproach, I can feel my tummy contracting whereas when I think compassionate thoughts, my body relaxes and my digestion is smoother. There’s the proof I just needed for that new thought!
Funny because I knew intellectually that love would be the best option to choose from when dealing with others like my children or my students but I was still unaware that I had that much self-reproach in me. I feel like an onion – I keep uncovering new layers of thoughts and emotions!
