To be honest I have had a few. That is life. It certainly dishes out curve balls when you least expect them. If I need to pick one it would probably be the day my older brother was killed in a plane crash. I remember dropping him at the airport and telling him to stay safe. I heard about the crash on the news and watched it all unfold on the television. It was so surreal. I still miss him every day.
I recently did a pilgrimage to the site of the plane crash. It was on top of a mountain not far from Cairns. I needed guides to help me trek up the steep climb, through dense rain forest for 6 hours to reach it. The plane was still there. It was such a moving and extraordinary experience and most of all healing.
Have faith and trust that you have the strength to get through it.
Also, that I am loved.
For me it is practising everyday mindfulness. This has been a life changing practice for me.
I touch base with myself throughout the day and if I am feeling overwhelmed, anxious or flat I work out if I need to take action and practice some self-care. Usually it is just a case of acknowledging how I’m feeling but other times I may need to take myself for a walk in nature or just some quiet time to myself or to say no to few things.
And secondly, yoga. It’s a bit of a cliché, but immersing myself in a yoga teacher training course has helped me in so many ways.
It was more the philosophy of yoga that has really stuck with me and has helped me to see life differently in a positive way. My family also saw a change in me and if I start unravelling a bit, they all say, ‘Mum you need to get back to yoga’. I know it will be a constant practice in my life.
One of my first jobs was at Safeway (now Woolworths). I was straight out of school and had been a good student and always did well. Not so as a ‘checkout chick’. I was hopeless and kept being pulled aside for making mistakes. They even thought I had stolen money. Very humiliating.
This has taken me a whole life time to be able to say it to myself. Now that I am touching sixty I have so much more confidence in myself and I find it easier to take risks and really put myself out there. I suppose I figure it is now or never.
I still worry about what people think of me. I dislike being judged or criticised, I take it really personally.
I also feel like I’m not taken seriously because I am older than most people who are starting businesses. I feel like a big dag in amongst all these young, gorgeous, smart, energetic, creative people. I need lots of self-talk around that issue.
Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help!
Probably the story by Osher Gunsberg “Back, After The Break”. A really honest and raw insight into living with anxiety and how he came through it.
Also, “Buddhism for Mothers”. A calm approach for caring for yourself and your children by Sarah Napthali. This book takes the basic principles of Buddhism and relates it to becoming a parent. I was a yoga teacher and taught parent and baby yoga classes, so this was really relevant.