Passing the time away seems like a thing to do, but when you conjure up all the enjoyable things that where considered fun as children, suddenly takes on a whole new meaning in life. Playing house in the woods with a set of used plastic pots and pans that were excitedly retrieved from a dumpster was the highlight of my childhood. Making mud pies and pretending to be all grown up when in reality, it never dawned on me that looking back, I would much rather relive those days.
In those days, it may seem like a poor life to some, but it was a joyous time for me. I didn’t have a lot growing up, but somehow seemed to appreciate whatever toy or trinket my mom gave me. It was the very thought of having something to play with…it didn’t matter where it was from.
From doing chores washing my own clothes in a ringer washing machine, I was still obedient and was a very well mannered little girl, but often found solace in my room as a means of escaping the crowd. Crowds…never too good around them…never found any interest to be a part of the adult world unless I was playing house in the woods with my used set of plastic pots and pans.
Those pots and pans, oh how I wish I had them – while the sound of rain bounced off the roof of the house that often sent me scouring around for a pot or bucket to capture water from the leaky roof, it appeared to be normal. I looked normal, I had dolls, pretty clothes like any other girl; even though they were often bought at a yard sale.
It was at a yard sale that I lost my one dollar bill I was given to purchase a couple more trinkets. Seeking to be my own person, I would often pretend to be someone I wasn’t…maybe deep inside, I wanted to escape, but didn’t know how.
I didn’t know how to escape so I would pretend I was driving and my car went off a cliff while rolling down the grassy slopes – screaming from the top of my lungs. Not considering the bites from bugs or the ticks that had made themselves home in my flesh. I read how you can get lime disease from tick bites.
Reading was what lost me in the world of day dreams. Oh to be the lady in the book. It was a way to build a man according to my likeness. We all want our husbands to have some of the qualities of our dad, but unfortunately, I never got to know my dad.
Not having a dad in life, I would often lose myself in a world of make believe, it was a way to shut out all the was real. Seeking higher ground and to be that which every one wanted me to be was and untruthful spirit of who I didn’t want to be.
The truth would later open my eyes to watching my older siblings have the time of their lives while I was often left home alone due to my lack of social skills. Desiring all that could enter into an already thoughtless situation often left me questionable and scared in the dark.
The dark was not my friend. I heard that all undesirable things happen in the dark and I didn’t dare turn my lights off.
Lighting the way to understanding and finding out my purpose was what lead me to make friends with the ones no one liked. It Was The Thing To Do.
