I’m scared my abortion has ruined my relationship

I 21f found out 2 weeks ago that I am pregnant and my relationship with my 23m boyfriend has been temperamental since, this is the first time I have ever gotten pregnant and we didn’t even think I could due to my health complications, it was a tough decision on my part, I both wanted and didn’t want a baby, I don’t think I’m ready for one, I’m in university and I refuse to fuck up another life when I haven’t got mine together, when I found out he was not the first person I had told, I have hurt him because of that, and I can understand how that would hurt, but the thing that hurt me the most was when I went for a scan and he was upset that I didn’t ask him to join us while the nurse was doing an internal scan meaning I was half naked and uncomfortable, I have been told that his feelings don’t matter anytime I ask as this is a thing we are going through together, but he refused to open up, when he finally did he exploded at me telling me that I’m not being supportive of his feelings and he feels isolated and not apart of the process, I should add that we live semi long distance, but we have been in an explosive argument for 3 days and I feel so alone in this, I feel like I don’t have the time to mourn a baby I didn’t think I my body could have or the guilt I feel or sadness, I have tried to communicate with him and I don’t know what to do, the procedure is tomorrow and I am so full of fear and anxiety and overwhelming emotions. I understand where he is coming from but I also feel I need support in this and not conflict, especially since I have had very bad nausea, pain and overall bed rest due to distress, I love him but I’m not sure about anything right now, not to sound selfish but I feel he has made the situation more about him and his feelings rather than what is happening at large. Thank you for listening and if anyone has any advice for personal experiences, I would love to talk to someone.