Sorry you are going through that. Everyone and each situation is so unique so not all FA who lean DA will think the same way. Either way I welcome you to embrace the fact that we can only control what we are willing to allow someone to put us through and that is where our power is. It can be very hard to try to understand why someone else is doing what they are, especially when it's confusing and hurtful. I personally never ever understand the DA people I dated or even have in my life, I am still trying to understand myself as an FA :/. When you have such strong avoidance of can be very hard for others to read you and know why you do what you do (this includes my sister who I have technically known my whole life).