Florida Georgia Line’s “Anything Goes” is the Worst Album Ever
Trigger Down with Pop Country 514 Comments
Congratulations Justin Moore and Outlaws Like Me, you’re officially off the hot seat. Because right here, right now, I am unilaterally declaring that Florida Georgia Line’s new album Anything Goes is the worst album ever released in the history of country music. Ever. Including Florida Georgia Line’s first album Here’s To The Good Times, including anything else you can muster from the mainstream, including a 4-track recording made by a head trauma victim in a walk-in closet with a Casiotone keyboard and an out-of-tune banjo. Anything Goes can slay all comers when it comes to its heretofore unattainable degree of peerless suckitude.
In a word, this album is bullshit. Never before has such a refined collection of strident clichÃ©s been concentrated in one insidious mass. Never before have the lyrics to an album evidenced such narrowcasted pseudo-mindless incoherent drivel. Never before have such disparate and diseased influences been married so haphazardly in a profound vacuum of taste, and never have all of these atrocities been platooned together to be proffered to the public without someone, anyone with any bit of conscience and in a position of power putting a stop to this poisoning of the listening public.
Not to get all old man on your ass, but most of the time I don’t even understand what the hell these dudes are saying. Brian Kelley and Tyler Hubbard have their own language, partial to the most grammatically-challenged and stupefying vocabulary lurking in the dankest sewers of the English dialect, but not residing firmly in any specific one of them so no truly proper translation can be obtained. It’s like Pig Latin for douchewads—understood by them and them only. And only with the perfect deficiency of brain cells will their concoction of Ebonics, metrosexual douche speak, and stagnant gene pool rural jargon become anything resembling coherent to the human ear.
Forget the already ultra-concentrated and extremely-narrow breadth of modern mainstream country music’s laundry list songwriting legacy, Florida Georgia Line has devised a way to inexplicably make it even more attenuated and terrible. “Girl, alcoholic beverage, truck, river or lake”— that’s pretty much the alpha and omega of the Anything Goes building blocks. Most of these songs have more songwriters than they do basic lyrical themes, with an average of four cooks per diarrhetic serving, and one song that boasts five songwriters and still struggles to pen anything that comes close to a complete sentence or a comprehensible thought.
Shiny objects and fire also seem to excite and distract Florida Georgia Line and fill them with a profound sense of wonder, and so soliloquies to these things also show up occasionally, as does the word “good.” They really like that word.
“Got on my smell good.
Got a bottle of feel good.
Shined up my wheels good.
You’re looking real good.”
That verse pretty much sums up this entire album. And no, these are not lyrics to the song that is actually titled “Good Good.” Needless to say, any moments involving depth, sorrow, self-reflection, doubt, or evolved thinking in any capacity have been unceremoniously scrubbed from this project entirely, save for one song, “Dirt,” which only works to anger the blood even more because it proves that these morons are capable of so much more. A song like “Sippin’ On Fire” tries to cobble together some semblance of a love story, but bogs down like all these songs do in focusing on the material objects and consumables inadvertently on hand in situations instead of the honest sentiments being felt between two people. Women and “love” are compared to alcoholic beverages and other material objects, and vice versa more times than I care to count on this album, as if they are interchangeable in stature in the human experience.
Another song that would have been decent if only Florida Georgia Line didn’t figure out how to screw it up is “Bumpin’ The Night.” Despite the title alluding to the listener being in store for yet another demonstration of shallowness, the song displays a compositional depth that is both surprising and enriching, even though what passes for steel guitar is so transmogrified by the EDM production, it’s hardly noticeable. There’s nothing wrong with fun, feel good songs themselves. But in such a void of anything striking even close to variety, an otherwise decent song like “Bumpin’ The Night” suffers demonstrably amongst its peers.
And talk about going to the clichÃ© well too many times, there’s a song on this album called “Angel” that I kid you not is built around the often sarcastically-used pick up line “Did it hurt when you fell from the sky?” Any woman who hears this line coming from any man has my personal blessing to immediately spray them in the face with mace and knee them in the nuts. The idea that these knuckleheads think that this line is “sweet” just speaks to the depravity of self-awareness they suffer from in an irrevocable degree.
There really is a toxic concentration of bad songs on Anything Goes, and it is all punctuated on the final track “Every Night” where the hyper-everything that riddles this album somehow gets heightened even more as Florida Georgia Line explain they don’t need the weekend because every night for them is a wild, raging good time. This personifies the diabolical sameness of this album, where it’s just a contiguous string of carefree party references and virtually nothing else, almost throwing caution to the wind and daring fate to make a mockery of this project over the long perspective of time, if they’re not openly cashing out on the franchise in the face of the obvious dying of a trend.
I would call it country rap, but even that would give this album more definition than it truly carries. I would call it pop, but even that world would not stand for such vacuousness. And once again the listener is left steadfastly perplexed at what Brian Kelley (the short-haired one) actually does in this band beyond singing one verse of “Dirt” and a few random backup lines so heavily Auto-tuned you can’t tell for sure it’s him.
Everybody knows where Florida Georgia Line is going to lead. Scott Borchetta must know it. Their producer Joey Moi, formerly of Nickelback must know it. Their manager Kevin Zaruk, also formerly of Nickelback, apparently knows it, and admitted as much in a recent Billboard interview. “It’s bizarre because I know so many people who say they can’t stand them but listen to Nickelback and go to their shows. This is a band that sold hundreds of thousands of dollars in merchandise, and to this day, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a person with a Nickelback T-shirt on walking the streets anywhere in the world. I don’t know what it is, but for whatever reason it became cool to hate Nickelback, and once that trend took off, it exploded. What I’ve definitely talked to [FGL’s] Brian [Kelley] and Tyler [Hubbard] about is that whenever anybody becomes successful in any business, there’s people that get jealous.”
This is the problem. Florida Georgia Line and their fans will read a review like this, and truly believe that jealousy and nothing else is at the heart of the criticism, and will point to their “success” as proof of this. But Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings, George Strait, and so many more were wildly successful in their time too, and also faced criticism, but never to the degree of criticism Florida Georgia Line is faced with. The music of these legends withstood the test of time, while artists like Nickelback, Billy Ray Cyrus, New Kids On The Block, and MC Hammer were also wildly successful in their time, but now their music is nowhere to be seen besides as a novelty, or listened to as irony or nostalgia.
READ: Florida Georgia Line’s “Sun Daze” (a semi-rant)
It is Florida Georgia Line’s destiny to go down as a laughing stock, to be the next Nickelback, where their fans hide their T-shirts and shun them, tearing them down just as vehemently and quickly as they artificially propped them up. Their sophomore album and a song like “Dirt” was their one opportunity to change that destiny and be known for something more. But instead they super concentrated what makes them bad as either a last cash-grabbing hurrah, or as a misguided miscalculation that their polarizing nature is due to the insecurities of others instead of a true concern about substance and sustainability. Point to current attendance numbers and call the haters jealous all you want. All one has to do is point to Nickelback as an example of why this doesn’t work in the long term.
Florida Georgia Line and Anything Goes are an embarrassment to country music.
Two Guns Way Down!
Anything Goes, Florida Georgia Line, George Strait, Joey Moi, Johnny Cash, Kevin Zaruk, Nickelback, Review, Waylon Jennings, Willie Nelson
After reading this review it makes me feel a whole lot better about your review of an artist I really like, Eric Church.
FGL just topped themselves with how horrible of an album they can make. Touche.
Like 1+
Please get back to what made country music so attractive to America.
They made fifty million so I’m sure your opinion that they suck is really hurting there feelings ….yea right…when you can sell a ticket for two dollars I’ll listen to your opinions lol but let’s face it you can’t get a drunk bitch to listin to ya talk much less sing….ass hole
your a moron!!!! FGL are douchebags
Jim fuck u
January 7, 2017	@ 8:31 pm
Fuck the sob who wrote this shitty goddamn review fgl wrote some of the best music ever! If your opinion is this album sucked well keep it to yourself cuz they made way more money than you’ve made in your fucked up lifetime!
Noah Eaton
I’m a little late to this party (hahahaha, we know how to party too, right? 😉 )…………..but I felt I have some worthwhile contributions to add here to this discussion.
Firstly……………yeah, “Anything Goes” wasn’t pretty listening to.
However, I have to admit I wouldn’t consider it the very worst “country” album ever. I actually think, in this last year alone, Thomas Rhett’s self-titled debut album, Tyler Farr’s self-titled debut album, Cole Swindell’s self-titled debut album, Justin Moore’s “Off The Beaten Path” and Chase Rice’s “Ignite the Night” all fare worse.
And, in all honesty, when I listened to “Anything Goes”………….there really wasn’t an individual moment that infuriated me like “It’z Just What We Do” and “Stay” did on their debut album. The songwriting, in truth, is much more calculated and bland this go around. As others have said, the greatest sin of “Anything Goes” is how blatantly formulaic and interchangeable the vast majority of tracks are: thus rendering them anonymous and without any identity or merit whatsoever.
Another reason why I have to disagree with “Anything Goes” being THE worst “country” album of all time is that, unlike the aforementioned contenders I listed…………I have to say Florida Georgia Line and their fellow songwriters are not nearly as leering in how they depict and characterize female subjects in the subject matter. They seem more obsessed with brand names, if anything: thus outing Florida Georgia Line as essentially the Pitbull of “country” music. But much like Pitbull in Mainstream Top 40 music, it’s hard to bash on Florida Georgia Line THAT much in that, to their credit, they actually sound engaged and enthusiastic in their performances. At least you can believe what they are selling and are convinced they are actually having the time of their lives………………..even if what they are selling you is, in fact, diabetes-inducing.
In contrast, when I hear Thomas Rhett, Chase Rice and Tyler Farr’s efforts (or lack thereof, I should say)…………..I do immediately pick up that leering douchebaggery vibe: thus rendering their efforts not just insulting to the intelligence much like Florida Georgia Line, but degrading. With Florida Georgia Line, they are definitely insulting to the intelligence and it is definitely irresponsible in itself, but at least it is a more blissful brand of ignorance.
“Dirt” is obviously the strongest track on the album, but I have to say there are a couple other moments that I feel came close to pulling it off. “Confession” is one of them. I think that sort of atmospheric, very vaguely bluegrass-pop vibe can really suit the duo well, in truth, and if only the production had more teeth and intimacy to it, I probably would have given it a hearty “Thumbs Up”. And though it shouldn’t be mistaken as “country” in any way, shape or form, “Like You Are Already Gone” has the right idea going as a solid pop song and, again, falls short because of overly sterile and anonymous production.
Aside from that, “Anything Goes” is just as aggressively bland, sterile, cacophonous and shamelessly corporate as an album of any genre can be. Tyler Hubbard sounds more like a corporate shrill on at least half the tracks than an “Aw shucks!” country bumpkin. With “Anything Goes”, it’s Victoria’s Secret and Dos Equis. With “Sun Daze”, it’s Bacardi and Air Jordans. With “Good Good”, it’s 7-Up, Seagram and Seven Jeans. And so forth. All “Anything Goes” does, more than anything, is exposes and underscores where the duo intend to make most of their capital from to ensure their long-term presence in corporate music, much like Pitbull: through sponsorships/partnerships with liquor brands.
It’s for that same reason why this album is obviously clinically designed to drive listeners to their live show spectacles: drawing them into a feedback loop of corporately-driven faux-escapism through binge-drinking and sales of their eventual fashion line “Can’t Afford Not To”. It’s truly corporate exploitation masquerading as entertainment at its most pernicious.
Still, even saying that………………..at the end of the day, no: this is NOT the absolute worst “country” album of all time. I would hand that distinction to Chase Rice’s “Ignite the Night” or Thomas Rhett’s self-titled debut before this any day.
Heck, I can’t even get all that riled up about it because I pretty much already figured Florida Georgia Line out as the corporate peddlers they really are with their debut LP. “Anything Goes” is actually just more lard from the status quo than anything.
Thus, for a “country” album, I’d give it Two Guns Way Down. But for an all-corporate genre album, I’d actually give it more like 1 1/2 of 2 Guns Down.
Troy Turner
Everyone has a right to their own opinion and has a right to listen to whatever they want to listen to. Its called freedom of speech and freedom of choice and a lot of people have fought and died for the freedoms we enjoy today. I, for one, am grateful for that.
People have been offended by Trigger’s review of FGL. He is a music critic! He wouldn’t be doing us any favors if he gave a favorable review of FGL if he truly disliked the music. I’m extremely positive that the offended people would be even madder than an unpaid hooker if he lied in his review.
My beef with a lot of people is that they’re focusing on FGLs chart success and the fact they’re selling stadiums, arenas etc. I’m fully aware that the music industry is a business. However, you can still sell out shows AND have artistic integrity. Right now, my playlist is a mixture of old school R&B, soul, blues, country, heavy metal, classical and folk music. Most of the artists I listen to are extremely successful but have maintained their artistic credibility and integrity. I personally have nothing against party/feel good songs, yet if the bulk of your record consists of nothing BUT party anthems and is sloppily written, then that is a problem.
FGL#1FAN
I have to firmly disagree with everything that was mentioned in this article. It is obvious that FGL music is fun, party music! They know how to get your toe tapping and your head bobbing! These guys know how to get a party started. They have brought a new aspect to country music, and obviously there are some people out there that are not keeping up with the times! These guys are great at what they do! They have sold out concerts as headliners, and that is the bottom line! If you do not like their music, then you must hate Jason Aldean, Blake Shelton, etc. All of these artists are creating a fun, inviting atmosphere! FGL is trying to set themselves apart in an industry that is dominated by an elite! So, writing this article is your right as an American, but let me tell you from my perspective, it is absolutely crap! 😀
J. RAAAAH
Your right FGL is crap! So is their crappy record!
See, you admit they suck. They “get your toe tapping”? Waylon gets all ten of my toes tapping, and all 11 of my inbred uncle’s toes. 10>1, so Waylon wins!
Also, way to hit the nail on the head! Jason Aldean and Blake Shelton DO suck! Good call! So does Chase Rice, Luke Bryan, and Goober Swindell!
I don’t know how you do it, Trig… The comment section is mind numbing.
April 19, 2016	@ 4:50 pm
Well, I guess Trigger is an anti-FGL who makes posts so the anti-FGL fan club can unite. Seriously, the title needs to be changed. If you say that Anything Goes is the worst album, that means there’s nothing worse than that. If you’ve ever clicked around on Spotify, you would know there are albums that are worse.
Good one. I’d rather listen to a truck driver take a dump than listen to this.
I love Florida Georgia Line. They are geared more towards the new generation of Country. Also, they add a pop of fun to their music that many older country artist don’t have. If you want slow and original Country, then Florida Geogria Line is not what you should be listening too. I just purchased the album and love it. Its different and its their own touch of country. Which is why I love them. My own opinion, obviously. 🙂
The only song I like on the CD is “Dirt” but I’m not, by any means, even considering it country. I was reading this weeks issue of country weekly and FGL was saying that their sound is a mixture of everything they like in one, but they’re (and I quote) “country to the core.”
Shawn K
I’ll start off by saying that, no, I did not read the whole article here because I’d rather spend my limited amount of time commenting on the overall nature of the article that I get from reading the title. Of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion, as is made quite clear in this article, so I’ll just give you my idea (as if anyone actually cared). To be honest I wasn’t ever much of a country fan to begin with…in fact I tried extremely hard to hold-out and not give in to the rather enjoyable songs I heard day after day on the local country radio (yes quite a bit of them were FGL songs). But nevertheless I gave in and am now a country music fan (my father is not happy about it either). But I think people are forgetting the whole purpose behind why music exists anyway (your answer is probably money, but I mean even before that was a factor). I listen to music for the purpose of enjoyment. That’s it. That simple. I limit myself to a few hours per day of media enjoyment, and music always takes up a part of that time. While the purpose of this article is seemingly to attack FGL and gain an army against their efforts to make it in this condescending world, to me it has done just the opposite. In fact I think I want to go buy the rest of their albums now. I’m not listening to FGL for the purposes of honoring what I think country music should sound like. I would assume anyone listening to country music for this purpose probably has an iTunes library of 2,000 songs with the same melody. I’m listening to FGL because something about their music is catchy. I don’t know if it’s the enthusiasm and excitement I hear in their voices (it’s almost like you can hear when they are smiling as they sing) or if it’s because of the instrumentals, I don’t know. But screw what country music has sounded like, needs to sound like, wants to sound like. These guys are successful and making enjoyable music because during my school exams the other day all I had going on in my head were the lyrics to their songs over and over again. So I go to my car and listen to their music on the way home…then I sing it in my head the rest of the day. I can’t escape it. “Real country music” or not, no other band has ever done this to me day after day. All I can say is thank God they’re singing about happy things instead of the general “I lost my dog, wrecked my truck, wife left me, house burned down” country song or I’d probably be 6-ft under by now.
“Let me preface this comment about how bad your article is by telling you I didn’t even read the article I am complaining about”….. ugh.
Can someone PLEASE play me this “lost my dog, wife left me, truck broke down” song?? Everyone keeps talking about it, and I really want to hear it!!!
I didn’t read your whole comment either I am guessing that your mean FGL must sing about rainbows and sunshine?? No thanks I’ll stick to some real country.
I could kick any random dude in the nertlies add some synthesizer and produce a better sound than some of this crap that I am hearing.
Then for lyrics I could give an account for my day delivering pizzas and win a Grammy for it as well. Think I will start booking my tour dates.
Don’t listen to FGL or contemporary country that much but when you turn on any contemporary country station they ALL sound about the same and sing about trucks, drinking, girls, and drugs so I don’t see why one particular band should be singled out. The whole genre is in the toilet.
PLEASE don’t insult Billy Ray Cyrus by comparing his music to Florida Georgia Line. I’ve owned every one of his albums, & I can tell ya for a fact, he’s never degraded women or likened them to an alcoholic drink. Mr Cyrus does not churn out the sleeze these FLG guys are pushing. Cyrus actually has talent. Songs he wrote, like the critically acclaimed “Trail of Tears”, “Some Gave All” -(about a Vietnam Vet he knew), “Busy Man” (about changing priorities/spending time with the wife & kids)…”Couldve Been Me” (about love lost/the one that got away)..those are just a few off the top of my head. Billy Ray Cyrus is the reason I started listening to Country. 90’s Country music as a whole, was pretty great! I gave up on Country radio loooong ago…there was always a biast against Cyrus. I never understood it…but the man made some great music.
–29 yr old fan from TX
Sturgill Simpson…..EJECT!!
Operation…..TAKE BACK COUNTRY MUSIC!!!
Gavan
Trigger, what a fun review! I just saw FGL with Jason Aldean. That was our 20th country concert this year BTW. Luke Bryan next Friday. I must say FGL is pretty weak. We had great seats but after 3 songs, they just blended together. Also getting tired of this bro country thing. That said, love Kenny Chesney’s new album, Dierks, Eric Church, Miranda and Blake! All newer artists, but my opinion, great singers and entertainers. If anyone is going to Luke’s show Next Friday in San Diego, stop by our Prevost bus with HTL CALI plates for a beer.
“Trigger, what a fun review! I just saw FGL with Jason Aldean. That was our 20th country concert this year BTW. ”
So you’re saying you’ve actually seen 19 country concerts this year.
Tom, Yes, we have been to 20 country shows, plus 10 Eagles concerts and Jimmy Buffett last Saturday night in Vegas. I count Stagecoach as 3 as the festival is over 3 nights. We saw George Straight’s final concert in Dallas (plus his SD show), Miranda in Hawaii, plus 3 more of hers, etc. One more show to go for the year – Fleetwood Mac in late November.
Powderfinger
If you don’t like the review, don’t read it!
Im a fan of FGL i am a fan of there music I feel like they have some good music I have most of there songs on my phone I just got there new album the deluxe one so all yall are just haters all i got to say is fuck yall haters
Try sentence diagramming. It’s quite effective.
Liza,
Keep in mind that some folks are too lazy to use things such as commas, periods, or exclamation marks when they talk. Run-on sentences are their way of communicating to the world unfortunately.
1. I knew the first time I heard CRUISE it was a smash. Now I cant help but think of what Kenny Chesney said about “She Thinks My Tractors Sexy. ” It was along the lines of …..” It was great for my career but I was smart enough not to do another song like that again.” If FL GA line couldve had more songs with substance like DIRT then I dont think they would get as much backlash
2. This shirt idea is pretty awesome idea. That logo would go viral and you could have a platform to do many things. Almost your own brand. Maybe s saving country music tour with certain bands on the back. I dont always agree with you Trigger, but your loyalty to great country music is undeniable. And I think more people in Nashville (esp the songwriting community) are aware of your efforts than you may realize.
FGL fan
SO DISRESPECTFUL
You’re right. FGL has such profound disrespect for the entirety of humanity, most especially females, that it’s positively disgusting. Very astute observation.
Stephen M.
I am a long time reader of your blog but a first time commentator. I feel forever in your debt for intruding me to the music (among others) of Sturgill Simpson, for whom I sprang for last album the vinyl. What concerns me in reading the 200 plus comments of this thread is the unawareness of many of the posters that you are a music critic, and their attitude t=of how dare you criticize the work of their favorite artist. The general tenor makes me think that many of them are under 18 and unaware of the role of criticism in the arts. Who can forget the opening line of Rolling Stone’s review of Bob Dylan’s Self Portrait, “What is this shit?” As a historian, I am asked to review books all the time. I fail to understand how people can see that music is above criticism. In fact, you offer critical analysis showing the link between Nickleback (certainly the most mocked band of the last 20 years) and Florida Georgia Line. I would go one step further. The duo and their music seem to be a giant, carefully marketing plan then serious musicians. Even their name seems contrived. Their music is written by committee, and probably tested out before focus groups. Their looks also seemed to be contrived-“hey look how rebellious we seem, we have tattoos and mullets!”
My only suggestion would to avoid the hyperbole. “Worst album” of all time seems to be a stretch as long as Lou Reed’s “Metal Machine Music” exists. O ranything by Starship.
That last line should read “or anything by Starship.” I need to quit to using my iPhone to write anything.
Hey Stephen M,
I think this is a good point. The role of the critic in modern society, especially in country music, is a dead one. True journalism and criticism has been replaced by media-based promotion of artists and labels, both mainstream and independent. And young consumers who grew up on Yo Gabba Gabba and were never taught to say anything negative find this practice offensive, rude, “bullying.”
As I said in an earlier comment, the way I built this review was in an attempt to be constructive. I know it starts off quite harsh and that’s what everyone gravitates toward, both positive and negative. But what I was trying to do was explain why Florida Georgia Line must change coarse or face implosion. The sheer interest in this review I think proves this theory that the hatred for this band, regardless of how many fans they have, has reached critical mass. People can say “haters gonna hate” all they want, but the sad part is they are missing out on the wisdom I was attempting to convey, and referred to by even the band’s manager.
This review will have been a success if just one of these new posters look around and read some of your other reviews. Heck, just last week I picked up that Justin Towns Earle album.
What strikes me funny about all these posters equating monetary success to artistic success, is that no album this year has sold above a 1 million copies, and I doubt that this one will either. Connecting with the Reba news you posted, it makes me wonder about business practices of the major labels. These young fans all listen to FGL they claim, but do they buy the music? When I asked students in my classes how they get their music, they looked at me like I had two heads when I suggested they buy it. They download illegally, stream it or just listen on Youtube. On the other hand, I am 44, have a good job and make a decent salary. I typically buy several albums a month, and many if them on vinyl, meaning that I may be plunking down $20. Could this NASH ICON be the turning of the tide where country music is again marketed to adults rather than 16-24 year olds?
Please keep up the reviews! I’d be interested in your take on the new Sons of Bill release.
Sales of this album right now are projected somewhere around 200-220K. That is from arguably country music’s hottest band. This would be less than what Brantley Gilbert sold.
Here’s my Sons of Bill review from a couple of weeks ago:
https://www.savingcountrymusic.com/sons-of-bills-moody-love-and-logic
Thanks! I can’t believe I missed that. What is sad how few comments that generated compared to this.
In defense of Yo Gabba Gabba, it DID have the segment with Biz Markie in it. Come on now, how cooler can you get than a beatbox god like him teaching kids how to improve their beat boxing skills?
I like “Yo Gabba Gabba”. Not that I’ve ever seen it, but when I see the name it makes me think of the Ramones.
I wondered where all the pollyanna crap came from…imagine a whole generation that is going to get punched in the gut when they hit real life in the coming years.
What I am theorizing about the knee jerk reaction and oversensitivity to criticism of one’s favorite act or an act they like is that these days people take it as a slam on them personally. If you slam their favorite musician it is as if you have said THEY have bad music taste and they are idiots or bad people for liking it. In fact I find this to be true across any topic of debate. I think this is due to the fact the internet is so impersonal in terms of a dialogue and makes it so easy for anyone to say anything. Also, we are so touchy about trolls, which while present are actually WAY over-hyped in my mind, kind of like the ebola scare. Most of these wild and hyperbolic statements are not made by true trolls but seem to made by average well-meaning people.
And young people especially feel wounded when you critique music they like. I’ve just gotten a lot of heat recently for making comments about Ariana Grande’s lack of authenticity and in her singing and sound due to a lack of life experience and poor song writing/choices. And I kind of get the anger even if it is overreacting. Young people haven’t put in a lot of years yet nor listened to a lot of music yet and so what little identity they have eeked out for themselves at this stage of life means a HUGE amount to how they see themselves and shape their identity.
When I was in school and growing up you didn’t have these kinds of comment sections on the web yet so adults (or people posing as adults) were not chiming in on every damn bit of music me and my peers glommed onto. TBF kids also do this to kids and maybe in greater numbers as they spend more time on-line than adults.
Anyway, back then there were three main types of people who had any really say on my music tastes. My friends, my parents/siblings, and MTV/RS critics/journalists. And the critiques from music journalists doing their job I could by and large ignore. But comment sections just allow everyone to chime in on what everyone else is saying; more shouting, right or wrong, reasoned or not, and people get defensive. And so true criticism suffers because everyone is a critic now (even me). And so nobody feels safe to like what they want and thus has to protect themselves and the things they like that much harder by verbally fighting back more violently.
I focus mainly on young people here because that is the group that I have found in my work that seems most prone to violent reactions when confronted with critiques about their tastes but I know “adults” especially true music snob kinds can get really pissy too. Try arguing that Hall & Oates were a great pop act to a REAL music snob. LOL! They almost spontaneously combust.
Dude…there’s a disturbing amount of anger in your writing. You can dislike them all you want but you sound friggin crazy ranting that way over a band. JUST DON’T LISTEN TO MUSIC YOU DON’T LIKE AND STOP HATING LIFE. PLEASE!
It’s easier said than done when you can’t get away from it, whether you turn on the radio, you hear it in the supermarket or hear blasting from someone’s car while you’re driving down the Interstate.
You talk about having the writer having anger….and yet, you type the last two sentences in all caps. Ahhhh, the Irony.
Uh Oh…..somebody is busting a CAPS! You have done it now Trig 🙂
courtlyn ann
who wrote this review and how soon can i marry them?
Reviews like this are made to make you feel guilty for liking the album. But why? Sure it’s not traditional country but it’s not 1985 anymore. Music evolves just like everything else. If you like it good. If not don’t listen to it. Simple as that.
I get the point here but music in not just an exercise in perfectionism. It is an expression of the artist(s), however misguided at times, and not designed to be loved or liked by everyone in the target genre. Your review has some validity but it is harsh and downright mean on many levels. I have to believe that FGL has been under extreme pressure since their debut to put out a record in short order. This was probably not their desired timeframe but their record label probably demanded it and so did their fans. Their music and the music of Nickleback will have its place in music history no matter what the 300 or so comments on this post reflect.
Music (and art) is meant to open your eyes, ears, and mind to something different. Art will always be criticized, mis-interpereted, and at times poorly executed. However, what is important about their music is that it has brought a new audience to country music who will discover the legends and traditions of times passed. I may not like the new FGL record, but I respect their work ethic, their tenacity, and the risks they take. I certainly won’t disparage them or insult in a public forum them like you clearly have done in this review. How about offering some constructive criticism if your goal is to revive and elevate country music standards on this website. Your rant is barely wise and certainly not constructive.
I wonder; what would happen if FGL put out a record full of self-written, heartfelt, and honest songs about something other than having a good time? What if they shifted gears and wrote an album with songs about depression, divorce, and drinking problems?
I wonder if the current crop of bro-fans would drop them in a heartbeat for the next good looking bunch of guys singing about good times?
I feel like country music has been going strange ever since hair metal went bust, and all the shredders left LA for Nashville. Seriously, half of these new songs sound more like Def Leppard than Willie Nelson.
You are dead on the money on that one. It doesn’t sound country anymore. I think since you use the “Hair Metal” analogy, we need a country music version of the Thrash revolution….just like when Metallica (pre-black album), Megadeth, Slayer, and Anthrax came on the scene in the mid 80s as a backlash to the hair bands.
The best humour is always based in truth .
This review is one of the funniest , most entertaining things I’ve read on this or any other site .
It isn’t easy to write ‘funny’ . I don’t know where the hell you find the time , Trigger , but unless you have a staff of uncredited writers, I’m gonna assume you only sleep 2 hours a night cuz the stuff you generate is SO on the money and well-crafted that it has to take you upwards of 22 waking hours a day to keep on top off it.
Well done . I think your review and your no-holds-barred assessment of this junky ‘music’ and the dough-heads that manufacture and market it is commendable .
He paid a lot for those pre-ripped jeans didn’t he?
If only I had a dollar for everytime a FGL fan said “haters gonna hate”
Jack WIlliams
Yep. Another one is “If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it. Simple as that.” Always got to go with “simple as that” on the end. Just drives the point home.
connie kolita
Trigger: First-time reader, first-time poster. Heard about this review via Nash country music station this morning (I am up in Cincinnati). Just have to say, my opinion is that you are one hell of a writer! Holy crap, your word selections are beyond impressive. And *I’m* supposed to be a professional writer for a living. I concur with your award-winning review.
Anyway, other thoughts on FGL: I listened to “Here’s to the Good Times” for a year and a half straight. Loved it. The band is fun and I appreciate that they at least know how to write songs instead of singing all songs written by others (snore). And yes, “Dirt” is great… but I won’t be buying “Anything Goes.” I bought a CD I felt was a little more… “intellectual” instead: Eric Church’s The Outsiders. I mean for me, when FGL teamed up with Nelly, I was out. Saw the writing on THAT wall. But good luck to them, and yeah, they probably won’t have to worry about saving for retirement like *I* freekin’ do… so they’re smarter than I am!…
Brother Jerry
Wow really? You are going to put down a couple of singers because of their shallow music? You would really say it is the worst album every because of the shallow nature of some of the songs?
Ever listen to Hank Williams Jr? Willie Nelson? Jimmy Buffett? Wait…how about Johnny Cash? They all sang songs that were about drinking, doing drugs, and living a party life. Let’s see if you can get any of them removed from the juke box rotation at the local country club.
How about digging into Outlaw Country with some folks like David Allen Coe? (go look up his list of songs and you will blush).
I am no major fan of theirs by any stretch of the imagination…but to toss out ideas that they are the worst ever in such a forum is dishonest at best. You are not out to save country music…you are only out to save what you think country music should be….sounds a bit self centered to me.
Brother Jerry,
None of us who dislike FGL are saying that party songs are bad. Personally, I like feel good/party songs. The problem is when then majority of the album consists of nothing BUT party anthems. “Dirt” was the closest that they came to having a song with substance behind it. If they had more of a balance between the party anthems with songs like “Dirt”, then I wouldn’t be as disgusted with them.
Thanks for the response Troy.
But how can you condemn the lyrics of the song or even album and claim it is the worse when folks like Hank Jr. did not receive a Grammy nomination until Family Traditions? And his next album..Whiskey bent and Hell Bound hit #5 in the charts and is largely “shallow” content but was the first album of his released since he went “outlaw”. His first #1 song in 9 years was “Texas Women”.
Willie as well has had many popular songs that would be classified as the same sort of shallow content. All the greats have.
There was a dramatic shift in Country music in the late 70’s to early 80’s in which the “outlaw” came out. And many of what we call legends were born from that and it is what we call their classic songs.
But the idea that anyone is disgusted with them because of an album should look at others they have in their play list and go check out their album history. And to say this is the worst country album ever, and to fill a huge article on a website about “Saving Country Music” on how the album is the worst album ever simply because you do not like the lyrics is juvenile at best. This becomes especially true if you look at many others that are considered legends of country and look at some of their albums or songs.
As the mission statement says “about REAL country music” which has the meaning of “what I think country music is” I can say that country music is not all about losing the girlfriend, not having a job, plowing the fields, and pick up trucks.
Most have shallow songs, but none have all shallow songs (and if you want to argue the word all because of Dirt, let’s say predominately). And lyrics is just a part of it.
Valid point, Brother Jerry.
At some point, I expect artists to put out albums that are low on substance from time to time. Hank Jr didn’t put out album after album of shallow songs. FGL has managed to put out an EP and 2 albums of nothing but party anthems and sloppily written ones at that, filled with processed vocals with a ton of Auto-Tune thrown in for good measure. No one expects them to write about their wives leaving them or their parents dying, but Good Lord….at least have a few songs with substance to balance out the damn party anthems. Its as if they don’t care about the craft itself.
JohnnyK
Geeez! Who elected you people to evaluate/criticize/control country music? If you don’t like it, don’t listen to it. A whole bunch of school-age type of “WAAAAAHHHH!” going on here!
Trigger’s review reminds me of Lester Bangs’ reviews of Led Zeppelin’s first two albums for Rolling Stone. They were funny and actually made me reappraise a band I really liked.
Ultimately, it didn’t change my appreciation of them and, and upon listening to later efforts, I felt they did continue to grow as a band–probably without taking Lester into account, but who know?. But the take-away from his reviews was he challenged unquestioning listenership/fandom and made me laugh while doing it.
I wonder if Scott Borchetta is the one feeding them their lines on the history of music. Clearly, they aren’t bright enough to understand it without help.
http://tasteofcountry.com/florida-georgia-line-country-roots-pot-smoking/
The keywords being “not bright enough”. LOL
Well jokes on all of you guys considering the album just went number one. So apparently there ARE people who enjoyed the songs….
If people like it, good for them. Just not my cup of tea. There are better country artists out there and I’ll be listening to them instead. My IQ drops every time I hear FGL.
The sales were good, but #1 in the first week is relative. No competition.
Shannon …I don’t doubt that people enjoyed and bought the album . But I can’t help wondering how much MORE those people would like all of the far better music that radio has decided NOT to play if those people were given an opportunity to hear it . When the genre has become as narrowly focused musically , lyrically , image-wise and gender -wise solely because it sells ,many these folks are living in a state of blissful ignorance . For some , that is just fine, of course . If you want to settle for MacDonald’s burgers , by all means be my guest . But it may just be that you aren’t aware of the options OR are too lazy and uncaring to look around for them . My faith in people tells me that people want and deserve better . Radio appealing to the lowest common denominator for commercial reasons doesn’t allow for folks to hear the amazing musical options available to them the way they once could . If folks like FGL , I believe their minds would be BLOWN by the stuff they are overlooking .
Exactly Albert!
There are so many cookie-cutter artists in any genre, especially when it comes to this bro-country gimmick. The more tattoos you have, the bigger the truck, the curvier and sexier the woman is, the bigger the gun is and the harder you party…you get the idea.
That’s why I go out of my way to read reviews like the ones that are posted on here and other websites because I’m tired of listening to music that isn’t well crafted or had the time, blood, sweat and tears put into it to make the album special and unique. Its as if everyone is concerned about making a hit, making a buck off of it and landing it on Billboard’s charts, rather than making music because you have the passion and love for it.
Well said, Albert.
I did not read any of the comments I am just responding to the article that was written. I 100% disagree with you. I absolutely love the new cd. You yourself must be an older generation country music listener. You need to change with the time this is what the people want to hear or at least anyone I know. And for the lyrics you posted about the song feel good, I love it I love how it is catchy. I just want to go party with them because they seem to have fun and love there life. So people really need to get with the times and quit hating on them.
And you have every right to listen to them. There’s nothing wrong with feel good music. The problem is when you try to pass off EDM/R&B/Rap with a pseudo-country gloss over it and call it country. Not to mention, the album sounds like it was put together within a matter of weeks without taking their time to write solid lyrics. And the over processed vocals and the abundance of Auto-Tune is insane.
“You yourself must be an older generation country music listener. You need to change with the time this is what the people want to hear or at least anyone I know.”
There was a 19 year old commenter that agreed with Triggerman’s review. Contrary to what you may believe, not everyone that hates mainstream country radio is of an “older generation” and should “change with the time.”
Having been there and done that I can relate to your point of view. But trust me, 30 years from now you’ll feel the same way about this CD as I now feel about the Wham! albums I bought back in the day.
Which leads me to ask, isn’t it about time a country artist name-dropped George Michael or sampled “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go”?
June 14, 2015	@ 3:29 pm
I don’t have to do anything you tell me to do, kid. Now respect your elders and let the adults have their conversation.
Wow, this post has a lot of comments and they’re still coming in. Seems like this should be approaching a record.
Really could care less about FGL or country music for that matter. But, I do want to take the time to thank the author of this review for the most entertaining five minutes of my entire week. Don’t think I’ve ever read a more hilarious review, it was worth every second I stole from my employer.
Thanks Greg.
Your welcome. And btw, I am a musician myself and if would love it if you took the time to skewer my music as well as you did FGL’s. Our CD is on iTunes. Just type “Province Of Thieves” in the search box and have a listen.
IceJJFish
I want to cut a track with these guys!!!!!
I have been a country music fan all of my life…until about 5 years ago. What was once THE genre of lyricaldepth, it has become a haven of shallowness (trucks, booze, ‘dasiy dukes’) over produced electronic loops and emphasis of a bad attitude over real musical ability.
The latest FGLine has gone into parody. If you did not know ahead of time that it was a ‘real’ album you would think it was a comedy album of someone making fun of country music. It IS that bad.
Please, Nashville, get over this phase and bring back real song writers, real musicians and songs about real life. Not this alcoholic-in-training, frat boy fantasy garbage.
LOL this thread. 😛
Well these comments did inspire me to make a blog post on what “real” country music is to me, since that’s been thrown around so much. So thanks!
Mike from Pensacola
Sir, I am as heterosexual as it gets, but this review makes me want to kiss you on the mouth. What a breathtakingly savage and Shakespearean takedown of just one of the many parasites that comprise the evil force that is lobotomizing this once-fine art form. You are a hero and a patriot of the arts!
These guys are modern day outlaws breaking rules and molds….. Its simple. If you want to listen to a modern day Waylon just listen to Waylon. Nobody can do it like he did. Nonetheless keep complaining. It always works. Music always turns back to its roots right? I mean there was no 90s country or 80s country right?. It was all Hank Williams up to this point anyways! As for Brian doing nothing. What was that other duo that the one guy that didn’t sing a lot in? I think they sold a few records. Brooks and something…. Yeah I’m sure he didn’t do much either.
Modern day outlaws? You have got to be kidding me. Did you bother to proofread before you posted that? Please tell me how these two jokers are modern day outlaws.
Wow. Just wow. Liking these clowns is just a matter of taste. Calling then modern outlaws? That might be the dumbest thing I have ever read. Read an outlaw history book. Listen to some outlaw music. Keep your damn mouth shut. Insulting the greats like that is mindnumbingly dumb.
Yeah there modern day outlaws. They make music they want to and don’t care what you think. Traditional people have been hating on them since “Cruise”. But guess what they made another album exactly the way they wanted to. Do you really think Waylon would care what you thought of his music? Newsflash. They don’t either. Yep Outlaws.
FGL are not modern day outlaws and to put them in the same category as Waylon is complete blasphemy and sacrilege on your part. You don’t even know if Scott Borchetta pressured them to make another album that was identical to Here’s To The Good Times or if they were too lazy to expand upon their sound or experiment with it. Either way, I’m not surprised…especially when they share the same producer, manager and record label with Nickelback. Put down the booze and think before you speak the next time you decide to post in here. Ignorance sure as hell ain’t bliss, in your case.
Troy,
I c&p’d this statement from one of your post because I agreed with you and assumed that freedom went for everyone. Kinda like the way your assuming what Scott Borchetta did or didn’t do. Which I’m quite sure you have no idea what your talking about. Either way those guys made a choice to record that record at their own will or do you know Scott and have proof of this? Blasphemy? Was it blasphemy when Waylon sang “I don’t think Hank done it this way”? Ignorance? I’ve stated my case and backed it with reason. You haven’t. You just said there not and thats it. Why? Because you said so? Now I’m sure I’m outweighed on a site called “Saving Country Music” and while true to the best of my knowledge they have never actually broken the law in terms of drinking and driving or another crime that was serious enough to put them in prison like many of the “greats” we all love. They’re making music that is causing an uproar. Obviously right? Theres no disputing that and guess what Troy? There still doing it! Much like an outlaw would do. Or did the Outlaws just do what there producers said. As to the booze comment I don’t drink but that sure made your point lol.
Don’t get me wrong JT: you are quite entitled to your own opinion and I stand by my statement when I said we all have freedom of choice and speech. One thing I wouldn’t do is deny you the right to speak your mind.
I couldn’t place FGL in the same Outlaw category as Waylon because FGL have only been around for a couple of years. Waylon has been around for decades and is a legend in the world of country music. Not to mention, his music doesn’t suffer from the “sameness” that FGLs music is currently suffering from. I thought that there’d be hope for those two clowns when they released “Dirt” as the first single, but as soon as my roommate blasted it in our house, it felt like a bad April Fool’s joke and the joke was on us country music fans.
If you feel that they’re Outlaws, then thats your opinion. I adamantly agree to disagree on this subject.
I’m not saying there as good or not as good as anyone because the truth is theres no arguing that Troy. The beautiful thing about any genre of any music is that its all opinion. Your not right or wrong n that respect. I personally like a lot of the classic stuff as well as the new stuff. So many of those old two chord progressions are so cool. Simple and “sameness” from start to finish but there fun to play. I respect everyones opinion but since I’d been ask to state why I referred them as modern day outaws I thought I’d explain that Outlaw Country was a movement of guys bucking up against the system right? It seems to me there doing the same thing here. Idk if anyone thinks there fitting the mold of what country oughta be then I guess I’m wrong. The argument was never that there even close to Waylon or anyone else for that matter. It’s just stating that country music has evolved previously and these guys are just doing the next thing wether folks like it or not.
Not Troy
March 25, 2016	@ 3:49 am
Troy? “Ain’t”…really? Such use of commoner English is so surprising given your observations on grammar, proofreading and the relative intellect of those that disagree with your narrow views on music.
Are you trying to sound “Country”? That’s adorable!
I get what you’re saying, I really do. But when you go against the grain like FGL is attempting to do, don’t you want to stand out and be unique from the rest of the pack? Not make the same music that other artists like Chase Rice, Tyler Farr, Jason Aldean and Cole Swindell are making?
Thanks Troy, To my ears there production is significantly different and sounds different (with exception to Rice) but I think all these guys are going against the grain but in the outlaw movement there were several artists going against the current “Nashville Sound”. Unfortunately I think were now gonna see several people copying them until the next change comes along. That’s just my two cents. Thanks for listening and seeing where I was coming from. I see your points as well. Best, JT
Holy Jesus! The level of stupid in JT’s post made me laugh to the point of tears rolling down my face. The fanaticism and sheer stupidity of FGL fanboys/fangirls is hilarious!!!
Wow, I completely 100% DISAGREE with your review. Florida Georgia Line has done everything right with their music to make them completely distinct and stay in the mainstream. Everyone is entitled to their opinion…just keep yours to yourself.
You realize that coming to a music critic’s blog site and expecting him to not express his opinion of the music he’s reviewing kind of makes you look like a buffoon, right?
Ummm…this is his site. How about keep YOUR opinions off of it.
Joshua Dies
Obviously anyone who has posted on this review in such a negative fashion knows nothing about GOOD COUNTRY MUSIC. I am born and bred out of Nashville Tennessee and grew up listening to the very best, waylan,hank George jones and George straight.. Cousin to john Michael Montgomery. Personally knowing Johnny Cash and frequenting his home. Spending years in and out of the industry of famous artisans of Great lyrics and heart felt tunes which ring throughout the years.
Florida Georgia line is and shall I believe remain for quiet some time Amazing producers of Great music which gives Country music a new twang and invites others of various genres to enjoy this new era of country music as well.
Keep up the good work guys and don’t become disgruntled over a few jealous individuals who live only to thrash what they could never hope to achieve.
*Waylon, *Strait
Thank you. Bad grammar runs rampant, I guess.
“Personally knowing Johnny Cash and frequenting his home.”
Okay, sentence fragment aside, I can’t help but notice that you’re using the present tense. Very cool, this is the first time I recall anyone posting from “the other side”.
By the way, who is Hank George Jones? Is he the love child of Hank Williams and George Jones?
Jd hick
You all are are a bunch of narrow minded old dumb a$$es just because you find like the new generation of music does not give you the right to bash it so you all you bashing on FGL can suck a fat one
The new generation of country? Once again: you cannot throw steel pedal, fiddle, banjo into an EDM/rap/R&B song and call it country. You’re entitled to like whatever music you want. This is America after all but those posers are not country in the slightest.
Really? Troy, do you need a Hug?
Troy, you toss out industry terms like EDM, yet in doing so you only illustrate that you don’t know enough to differentiate between Krewella and Kenny Chesney. Don’t you have an English class to annoy?
JD Hick,
You must have missed the comment from the 19 year old that hates Florida Georgia Line.
Sounds like YOU are the narrow-minded one.
“FGL can suck a fat one”
JD Hick, glad to see we agree on something at least!
Bolivwx
Florida Georgia Line can sing good (or decent country), and no I am not talking about ‘Dirt’, but rather I am talking about their old stuff from before they made their Here’s to the Good Times album. They have this EP that came out back in 2010 called ‘Anything Like Me.’ It is very good, and it goes beyond their record deals they get these days with all of that auto-tune nonsense that is plaguing much of today’s country.
There are so many thoughts running through my mind right now after reading this, I don’t even know where to begin. This album is by far NOT the worst album in counrty music history! Florida Georgia Line is one of the greatest new artists to come to counrty music. Not everyone has to like their music or even be a fan of them, but there is no reason to label their album as the worst ever! That’s a load of bullshit. No their songs aren’t about love in a family matter, but they sing about what they know and that is how to have a good time and treat a country girl right. Every artist sings about what they know, and so do they. Today, this type of country music is what is the most popular because it’s the most relatable. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and that is why their are people that agree with this offensive article and people that do not.
So as a woman, you agree with their misogynistic lyrics? Sounds like you need some self-esteem!
Domonique
It’s too bad most country fans in the US don’t bother to listen to country music from Canada. We have a wide array of good country artists (see Gord Bamford, George Canyon, Paul Brandt, Gordon Lightfoot, Dean Brody, Corb Lund, Ian Tyson, Johnny Reid, Jason McCoy, High Valley, Emerson Drive, Aaron Lines, Jason Blaine, The Wilkinsons, Lindsay Ell, Doc Walker, Carolyn Dawn Johnson, k.d. lang, etc., etc.) from all generations and country sub-genres. Unfortunately, some of them (the newer acts) are venturing into “bro-country” territory in order to try and gain popularity in the US because the market is so much larger.
Dean Brody and Corb Lund are both fantastic.
November 2, 2014	@ 11:45 pm
I would add ONE MORE GIRL , CHAD BROMLEE , MADISON VIOLET , HARRY MANX AND DALLAS SMITH among others , to your list of Canadians writing and cutting some great music without venturing into the bro- camp . But I’d also echo that none of these acts gets American airplay because of that fact . The U.S. commercial “country” stations all seem to have blinders on .
Brownlee** Big time blinders. It’s too bad.
JennaB
Are you OLD FARTS still drinking your HATERADE????? It’s all GRAVY!! Keep On with it HATERZ!! 400+ comments!!! Blaaahhh!!!!! 😛
Chris H.
Jenna B. you sound drunk! Such great influence that FGL is!
Academic Decathalon Referee
Mrs. B:
What you have just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent diatribe was there anything that was even CLOSE to what can be considered a rational thought. And everyone on this message board is now dumber for having read it.
I award you no points….And may God have mercy on your soul!!
gtrman86
What a great read, I still can’t believe that FGL fans know such big words. Stupid Fucktards!! I’m assuming every defence comment came from those two clowns.
Man, what a tour-de-force piece of writing this review is. I can’t recall the last time I’ve read such a relentlessly-funny screed. I had tears rolling down my face from every third line. Thanks for that, buddy.
And, you know, reading through these comments has left me feeling pretty good about my fellow human beings. For every spelling/punctuation/capitalization-free offering — Paul, (or rather, “paul”) we’re looking at you here, buddy– there are several dozen that are thoughtful and sincere. HELPFUL HINT: If you read the MOST sincere replies in the voice of a disappointed southern mother, they really sing. Trigger, I’ll be quoting stuff from this thing for the next twenty years.
And now… I’m off to have the name on my barber license legally altered to read “Cher Boyardee.”
Opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one…..and frankly yours stinks!
Dont like it, dont listen, however millions of people do so they are doing something right!
Robisc
Trigger, man I love your reviews, this quote is one of the best ever, “including a 4-track recording made by a head trauma victim in a walk-in closet with a Casiotone keyboard and an out-of-tune banjo” haha. One thing I must disagree with though is your comparison to Nickelback, while they are the favorite band everyone loves to hate your comment “their music is nowhere to be seen” is not true, Nickelback hasn’t sold more than 50 million albums worldwide just because they’re a flash in the pan, and yes last decade was their decade but their latest album from 2011 is multi-platinum and I would bet that their new release before the end of the year will be very successful too.
In all honesty, this is the “worst website ever.” Seriously, I’m not even joking. I shall not return, ever.
the pistolero
http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/392/026/21b.jpg
Bryan W
The music business is hard, as we all know. So instead of ripping these guys apart. Be thankful that they are willing to work their butts off to make it. Yes, some of their song may be just tunes of fun and not George Jones! But no disrepect to George..but what is the point of having great songs, if you can;t play your shows for your fans…but you have to say at least these guys tour and work their butts off to sell tshirts and give their fans there money’s worth. I think they should be respected for what they do as a duo! They give it their all to help the men and women who work a 40 each week to forget their problems for a few hours by FGL performing on stage. And without FGL keeping country music alive and writers and publishers in business…..plus …they may help someone what to dig deeper into some tradional country. So remember, country can be fun and corny…but it is fun for fans….their fans wil have plenty of time to listen to Waylon, Cash, and Jones when their wife leaves them and their dog dies. I love it all!
Ronnie P
You wanna put your big boy pants on and bash an album that bad, you better do morethan putting down vocals and lyrical content. To rank it as worst album ever, I should be reading that (not true just examples*) every song is written in Eb major, they used the same snare samples for every song, and the low end was so bad I could barelyturn the speakers up without distorting them…
Watch out!!! We got an internet badass over here!!!
this writer is brilliant… i cannot believe how many times i’ve read this and laughed hysterically over and over again
Trigger, your review reminds me of Lester Bangs reviews of the first two Led Zeppelin albums in Rolling Stone. Even though I was a fan of the group they made me laugh and question my perhaps uncritical fandom.
The only hope I have for these guys is that one day they realize how vapid and childish nonsense their music is, and try to create better music in the future.
I was watching the Celtic Frost “A Dying God” documentary the other night on Youtube. Celtic Frost’s lead singer, Thomas Fischer, used to be the lead singer of the group Hellhammer. Fischer, along with lead guitarist Michael Ain, told the story at the beginning of the film about how Fischer viewed Hellhammer and their songs as “childish bullshit” and “pubertal nonsense.” We can only hope that Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelley take that same path down the road.
This is what I love about modern country. The ability to take risks and be who you want to be and be proud of the work you put out. With that said, I expected to absolutely hate this album, but it grew on me. It grew on me so much that it’s been on repeat for days. I think it’s unfair that people always want to ridicule and judge “new” country and compare it to old country. It’s just not the same anymore. But this is what I love about music, it has the ability to push buttons, go in other directions and be appreciated by others. If you don’t like it, fine, but I am a huge fan of this album and am proud of the guys of Florida georgia line.
I don’t know about you guys, but after a week of working hard…I like to gas up my lifted Chevy 4×4, throw a 18 pack of ice cold beer in the cooler, and drive down to the river and let the good times roll. Don’t see what is wrong with FGL. It’s just good time music for hard workin’ people like me.
Killer Country
Haha… Wow… Where to begin. It seems like the FGL whores come up with the same generic shit “ohh country music evolves”, “if you don’t like don’t like it don’t listen to it”, or even “FGL doesn’t give a shit what you think about them”, and the winner for first place in trolling goes to… Alea! most ignorant dumbfuck I’ve ever seen, he/she keeps saying the same shit all over again and keeps contradicting himself, maybe he should get his head out of his ass and gave the reality that the country music revolution will happen soon and his little country boys will fall through the cracks. FGL is not country plain and simple.
*face the reality
You are obviously making waves.
I smell industry trolls all over your comment section.
Keep on keepin’ on… And yes, it’s disgusting and one of the worst excuses for country music ever produced.
Susie Sasquach
Yeah, okay, Trigger, but do you like their album?
I’m sorry, but is this review really necessary? Reading your mission, why would you waste your time writing a scathing review of a band that your readers, I’m assuming, hate as much as you do. The FGL fans that read this, they are going to disagree and write you off as discreditable.
I do agree that is terribly sad to see a once great genre degenerate to the garbage that we hear today, but if your goal is to “Save Country Music,” focus your writing skills on good bands/singers that aren’t on a national stage and DO deserve attention. Give those guys/gals the attention.
I appreciate the concern, but you’re writing this on an article I wrote over a week ago. This article can’t be found on the front page of the site. I haven’t actively promoted this article for 9 days. The only way you would have come here is if you made the choice to interact with a piece of media that led you here (likely a Facebook link). Subsequently I have published numerous articles “on good bands/singers that aren”™t on a national stage and DO deserve attention,” which is what I am doing the majority of the time. I write an article like this maybe 6 times a year, and I publish roughly 15 articles a week. So you do the math. This article has 450 comments on it, and a review I posted yesterday for an artist that is exactly what you described has 4. I would say that this 450 to 4 ratio is about equal to the amount of traffic the two articles received, but even that would be incorrect. It would be more like 500 to 1.
It confuses and frustrates me more than anyone that it’s these rare scathingly negative articles that the vast majority of people pay attention to and that go ultra viral, but this says nothing about my priorities, or my decisions on what to cover. It says everything about what the public wants to read. The simple fact is that if I only posted positive coverage, it would not make any difference in the marketplace, because nobody wants to read it. Aside from a few dedicated Audiophiles, the “focus your writing skills on good bands/singers” sentiment is a complete farce, and simply is put out there so people can feel better about themselves as opposed to being a true representation of their personal browsing habits. Very few want to read positive coverage about music. But they’ll tell you that they do all day. Because it’s cool. Yet they’ll skip over a dozen positive articles to come to one like this complain.
The commitment of Saving Country Music to covering artists worthy of more attention is deep and unwavering, and has never been stronger or more dedicated. I have posted more positive reviews in 2014 than ever in the site’s 7-year existence. Like the traffic/comment statistics, these are facts. And people can complain all they want about it being to the contrary, but they are incorrect. And despite the wanton, bordering on irresponsible apathy toward Saving Country Music’s positive music coverage, I remain, and always will remain, committed to it.
Thanks for the reply. You got me in that I saw the link on Facebook, and clicked on it because I was interested, as I can not stand FGL.
To be clear, I do not think that any reputable music blog should only post positive reviews. As a critic, one should try to be as objective as possible (although impossible). What I should have said, to be more clear, was that why would you waste your time. Although FGL is classified as country, it isn’t in my opinion, and probably yours too. This review undoubtedly brought the site a lot of viewers, but was also polarizing in terms of reactions. Like I said, you have one side completely agree, whereas you piss off the other half. Either way, you’re not changing any opinions.
I think that you are a good writer, and care a lot about the website, as evidenced through your responses to the many comments. However, I just don’t see the point in putting fourth any effort into bashing FGL. They suck, we know that. It usually feels good to have someone dislike a band as much as me, but I didn’t get that feeling here. It was just too much in my opinion.
But after all, it is just an opinion. I hope you find my criticism useful, and if not, keep doing you.
“site”™s 17-year existence”
17, or 7? 😉
The Worst Band In America - Lawyers, Guns & Money : Lawyers, Guns & Money
[…] Exhibit B: […]
Marissa Cook
Like FGL said in their interview on GMA- Turn it up or turn it off! They don’t care if you don’t like it because guess what when their concerts sell out in a matter of minutes like they have been they know they have a strong fan base. Country music has changed, get over it. You people are sitting here bashing some of the nicest people and you don’t even know them beyond their songs but you want to talk about their tattoos and call them douches, why? Grow up
If you were responding to comments on the FGL fan board, you would have a legitimate point.
But this is a blog written and read by folks who believe there is more to country music than rhyming “Bacardi” and “party” and sticking pink torpedoes in your drink. So you shouldn’t come here expecting people to sing the praises of your home boys.
Our opinion of what constitutes “country” music is different than yours, as is our definition of the word “douche” when used as slang. If your going to be hurt by people voicing these differences of opinion you probably just shouldn’t come here.
Too funny not to share …
http://blogs.dallasobserver.com/dc9/2014/10/jason_aldean_florida_georgia_line_gexa_energy_pavilion_review.php
ChiHawks1992
This is by far, the greatest review in the history of mankind. People who think these douchecopters are awesome are idiots. FGL is a disgrace to music.
Please tell me you have reviewed Kenny Chesney also. They do a much better job at variety than he does. Ugh. Every song is about a woman on a beach with alcohol. Please, please tell me you hate him as much as you hate this band. If you are gonna bash one, May as well get the ones that act the same but have been around WAY longer and tell me why KC is still making music but these guys career won’t last…
I never read that weird old ‘Constitution’ thingy, but I’m pretty sure the author is offending me and needs to check his privilege.
As we know, critique is a brand new phenomenon originating with bloggers like these and any critique is useless jealousy and easily refuted with the airtight “If you don’t like it then don’t ______ it” argument. Except critiques of those critiques, in which case, the rule is null and void. It is reactivated though, when a critic critiques the critique critic’s critique, then nullified once more when critiquing that.
In fact, to be clear, only the critic’s critic has any right to speak, and the original critic’s arguments are automatically invalidated by the fact that he is a critic, which again, doesn’t apply to HIS critic…
Everyone is entitled to their opinion. Its called “freedom of speech”. However, it is Trigger’s job as a music critic to critique this album, as well as the albums of other artists & bands. Is everyone in agreement on this record? Absolutely not. FGLs music (at best), is nothing but surface/feel good music with very little depth. As I’ve pointed our several times, Trigger wouldn’t be doing us any favors by stating that he likes the album, when in all reality, he can’t stand it. And after my roommate blared it in its entirety, I had to take two 800mg ibuprofen because it brought about a migraine.
I play in a band that has opened for FGL.
We’ve been called “bro country” and I get it.
We write about things we grew up doing and round here it was rivers , tailgates , trucks , and girls. So sometimes those songs come from a real place. I think some writers have abused it by just making up these stories so they come across as fake plastic overused lyrics. I will say this about the younger crowds we play for in today’s times. They don’t want to feel anything. They don’t wanna hear a slow love song or a song about looking back on emotional things in life. They just wanna party and have fun. We play 170 shows a year and the reason we stay booked is because people have fun and the club owners make money. I too love traditional country but as a songwriter who’s had success in Nashville I too have been forced to try and conform to what’s out there so that I could keep the gigs coming in.
It will get old and prolly already has and honestly I feel country music trying to make a come back. The politics that control Nashville may not let it because the market it smaller and with downloading killing the business Nashville has turned into the next pop sensation in order to survive. Artist like Taylor Swift who can cross all genres is what they are looking for. FGL did that and that’s why there where they are. If you can have every creed and color listening to your music and bobbing the head then you will get a deal at Big Machine. I like some of FGL songs but I think it’s do to a great production. You have to hand it to them for that. Nickleback records sounded great too. It’s time to shift and country music will. The writers will.
The true art and creators will shine through this in the long run but you gotta pay the bills so I’m gonna go write a song about drinking and having fun in my new truck..
Lol goodnight.
Ps I did enjoy reading this article.
Trigger I am crying in your face. You probably loved whatever shitty country music was my mom listened to like 10 years ago when country blew. Everyone should thank people like Florida Georgia Line for making country music relevant again. If you don’t like it, go sit on your thumb and listen to the awful country music that still exists, and normal people will listen to “pop” country because it is popular for a reason.
November 17, 2014	@ 10:33 am
Sometimes I just have to hear a song by Gene Watson or Dale Watson, or anyone
who sings real country songs.
Calbert
December 23, 2014	@ 6:55 pm
I don’t necessarily blame them. They know making this god-awful music will lead to money. They’re the Adam Sandler of music. Seem to be a lot of those these days. I’m reminded of Zac Brown (one of few decent current artists in any genre) well-deservingly blasting Luke Bryan for being shit. And who comes to the rescue but the king of crap, Jason Aldean. It’s like they have a suckdar, they know they suck, and are united in their suckiness… “hey, maybe if we think we’re good, everybody else will too. Now let’s hop up on this tailgate and have a bonfire or some shit.”
cringer
January 1, 2015	@ 12:06 am
Don’t really consider myself a country music fan but always had an appreciation for what I consider “good” country music. Just saw this abomination on the rocking New Years Eve and immediately Googled “Florida Georgia Line sucks”. Your review was the first hit. Anyway, just wanted to say you couldn’t be more right…this band is awful.
Cruiselover
January 18, 2015	@ 8:02 pm
I don’t appreciate your input on the albums by FGL and you obviously don’t know what country is because this page isn’t bad mouthing Taylor swift. And by the way your vocabulary in this document is obserd and I recommend you buy a dictionary because suckitude is not a word. #fgl u rock!
Fuzzy TwoShirts
April 22, 2015	@ 8:37 am
Absurd is spelt with an A and a U, learn that before you criticize someone’s spelling.
Well country music fans don’t appreciate bandwagoners and carpetbaggers like you hopping on the trend and ruining our favorite music with your tripe…..
…..Yet here you are….
pete marshall
Florida Georgia Line new cd isn’t the best, but I wouldn’t belittle them like that. I would not compare them to Brooks & Dunn, Alabama, or even George Strait. they might have change of an attitude to make real country cd’s. they sound like crap now but there all a lot of people like their music. Everybody have their own opinions.
just kidding. I don’t really like Florida Georgia Line at all and the cd was pure crap except “DIRT”. I agree with Trigger the cd is 2 guns all the way down. pure stupid ness and crap.
This article was right on. To call these two yahoo’s Country Music star’s is to insult all of those who are legitimate country artists. They might be “pop” stars, but they are definitely NOT country.
Is the album lyrically progressive or anything special? No. Is it harmonically catchy, yea, sure. I feel like you could probably take any reference to Florida Georgia Line out of this review and put in the name of virtually any mainstream country artist and it would have the same effect. Sounds more like a bashing of where the genre is going/has been (for the last number of years) as opposed to the actual band itself.
I’ve stopped listening to country music. The 80’s pop beat, forced trailer park dialect, culture in a cuisinart bullshit nonsense that passes for “country” these days is just as bad, if not worse, than the fake disco-urban country soft rock train wreck with multiple injuries crapola that was fed to the public in the late 70’s.
Then George Strait happened. And Garth, Alan, Kix and Ronnie, and the list goes on. And we were saved for 20 years or so.
This too shall pas.
What a delectably scathing review! Keep ’em coming!
Zachariah
Sippin’ on Fire sounds exactly like Shine On. I think they just changed the lyrics and used the same music.
HVNTER
I have no doubt in my mind that most of the people talkin shit about FGL secretly listen to their songs anyway. Honestly I really am tired of the bro country shit, but if I’m gonna listen to it it’s definitely gonna be FGL. Is it pure country, naw.. But it is sill country and not only that, their songs are insanely catchy. Their melodies, hooks and everything get stuck in your head for the whole day.
I understand the agenda here at SCM, and I don’t disagree with it at all. When you have all these phony fucks like a Chase Rice and Jerrod Niemann and especially that Sam Hunt motherfucker.. It is frustrating. Atleast FGL didn’t hop on the trend. They started off with their sound and they are maintaining it.
I don’t see much of a problem with it. This is comin from someone who’s seen Hank 3 (stayed the whole show) Billy Joe Shaver and countless other acts.
/VVV
July 18, 2015	@ 10:41 am
Sure! FGL songs are bound to get stuck in any head void of original thought or creative expression! Did you mean to say “I’m insane catch me!” when you stated you believe their songs to be insanely catchy? Fishing hooks must get stuck in your head all day as well…here’s an idea, remove those hooks and refill your Thorazine, don’t worry, you’ll still be intellectually sharper than anything FGL’s library will ever produce!!
The Keymaster
There IS NO country music!!! THERE IS ONLY ZUUUULL!!!!
H. Munster
August 4, 2015	@ 7:37 pm
Right on, country music does not exist anymore. True country music has become part of what is called Americana or bluegrass. If I see one more jassassssss Keith Urban with a tribal tattoos playing pisspour two note riffs I will puke.
Choose the form of ZULE…. choose…. so we can end this all now.
Gozer the Gozerian
THE CHOICE HAS BEEN MADE!!!
Had no idea who these jackasses were, especially since I stopped listending to “country” music in the late seventied. Anyway, just saw them perform on CMA music festival. So much autotune, you could here the synthetic harmonies. I wonder how these asshats sound without autotune? Probably worse than their tattoos look.
God, I hate modern country music, in many ways it is worse than hip hop, but that would be impossible. Remember good country music? Johnny Cash, Buck Owens, Patsy Cline? This modern stuff is just a marketing bastardization, poorly played simple rock with redneck lyrics and cowboy or trucker hats. Sad that young people cannot experience really talented musicians these days. Florida Georgia line is the worst example of this crap.
copenhagenezco
Wow! I read the review, and maybe a third of the reviews.
All, I can say is I’m glad everyone don’t think like you!
I’m 39 years old, and Ive been a fan or mostly rock of all types, and country of all types.
While, since I don’t have all of FGL’s full albums. I can’t seriously say I like every song of theirs. With that said…I can’t remember the last time I bought an album and “Loved” every song on it. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever bought an album from anyone and liked, or loved every song on it. There is always “Bullshit” songs, or (album filler) on on every ones albums. That’s why I now only buy the songs I like.
In closing, I do have to say that no matter what anyone says…every song I hear come on the radio by FGL I totally LOVE! Every FGL song that has entered my ear holes I have liked.
It is naive at best to believe the format, and style of any genre would remain the same with new generations.
To each their own! Good luck!
New artists like FGL are part of a trend (Aldean) that ‘name-drops’ other artists and caracaturizes (what they think is) country life. A life they seem disconnected from but are all too willing to exploit for their own gain. Johnny must be turning in his grave. Sad.
Roaster of the Haters
First of all, BACK OFF!! Everyone has their own taste of music. Don’t just go roasting country artists just because you don’t like the album. Secondly, this is click bait bullcrap. If it’s so bad, you shouldn’t spend so much time working on this, just to announce your own opinion. This just proves that you need to GET A LIFE. If I crossed a line, sorry but your the one needs to stop posting crap about music albums.
Bertox
Don’t go roasting country artists, you say? I say there is nothing remotely country or artistic about Florida Georgia Line. “Got my shades on, top back, rolling with the music, Jack.” You call that art, and WE need to get a life? You need to get a clue
Talk to me NEVER
If your so “artistic”, why don’t you go off into the magical career path of music? Why don’t you make any money off of music? Because you haters are so busy worrying about other country artist’s, you are the main failures in life. I don’t care if the country artist is bad or not, however, if stupid people, such as yourself, have nothing better to do then roasting artists, then here’s a clue: Ef off. Maybe you people should stop butting in on everything, it’s just an opinion, stop being picky about music, and when you get a life, tell me. I doubt it if you reply back though.
You are correct; it is just an opinion. We both have the right to our own. The difference is, I don’t go trolling FGL fan sites; I hang around here around like-minded folks. Why do I not enter the magical career path of music and artistry, and make money off of music? Believe it or not, I have. For several years. I currently do not, and I may or may not in the future. You would probably not like my music. It respects it’s roots, and actually contains a little depth. Requires a little bit of thought, a bit more so than “get yer shine on cuz this is how we roll…”
Steve sanner
Most of the country music i grew up listening to was either abouting cheating husbands, someone’s dog dying, or someone’s wife running off. Or some drunk farmer beating his wife. Scotty, Jason Aldean, FGL music is by far the best country music ive ever heard. So im FGL ALL THE WAY!!
Janet Fitzpatrick
I recently traveled 4 hours to see their concert. We had no idea that Nelly was opening and that this was Rap. I would never to expect Rap or hip hop at a country concert. We were disgusted with his behavior with a young girl on stage. and His music was offensive. I am so disappointed with FGL and the choice of this guy. We spent a lot of money for travel, tickets and room for the night. and Got this junk.I will never go to their concert again.
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