On February 9, 2023 February 7, 2023 By Ben Van Dongen
Blog Post No. 530
There’s value in keeping in touch with the people who matter in your life. (Value beyond relieving guilt, I mean, though alleviating guilt is a personal win for me every time). I wouldn’t say that I’m the worst at keeping in touch, but only because so many other people I know say that they are. That doesn’t mean I’m great at it , though. I just happen to be fine with being alone for so much of the time.
While I enjoy the company of my friends and family while in the moment, I’m also content when I’m just doing my own thing. (It also takes energy to engage, so sometimes there’s too much of a good thing with other people). It’s almost the same issue I have with starting any kind of work. Once I get going, I tend to do better than I had expected. I struggle with that first push.
Over the last few weeks I’ve been making more of an effort in keeping in touch with friends. It’s been difficult since I’m still keeping a low profile. Going out to dinner or for a drink is an easy way to get out and see people, but for the short time that I am out of the house these days, I’m one of the people still wearing a mask. That leaves my best options as video chatting and/or messaging.
The notification that comes with instant messaging stresses me out like a pet being taken to the vet. I haven’t looking into why, but I try to avoid it for any conversations more than a few back and forths. It’s a little easier if I can sit at a computer, but if I actually want to talk to someone, the phone or video chatting is my preferred method. Though, that’s only as an alternative to seeing people in person.
I have a couple of regularly scheduled video chats on my calendar at the moment (with the stipulation that we’re all busy and schedules have to be changed sometimes). I’ve also been trying to spend more time with my folks, but they’re as busy as I am, so it’s not always easy. There are several good friends who I haven’t reached out to, yet. The issue being that my interactions with those folks was usually in person (at small gatherings or out in the world) especially since we live in the same city. Being in the same city almost makes it harder. Not that I was any good with keeping in touch with my local friends before having to be cautious.
I’ve never been one to take part in things. I was always comfortable standing at the back of the room or (more likely) at home watching reruns on TV. Now that I’m a little older, I have some regrets with my time as a teenager. Not so much that I’m wracked with guilt (or that I have changed my ways) but I would make more of an effort if I found myself back in time for some reason.
Since I feel that way, I want to make more of an effort now with the things that mean something to me. Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’m missing writer events lately. Maybe it’s just guilt. I’m not sure. I am trying to make more of an effort, though. If I go out of my way to make plans, I’m more likely to engage. By the time it’s happening, I’m usually having too much fun to worry about how difficult it will be next time or who else I’ve been failing to reach out to.
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2 thoughts on “Keeping in Touch”
Brittni Brinn
I definitely struggle with keeping in touch! I fall into cycles where I’ll be really good at planning video calls for a while, then get burnt out, then cocoon for a week or two. I’m sure that any effort you make at staying connected with friends and family is appreciated – I know I appreciate it!
A cycle I know well. Put in the effort, burn out, hide, feel shame, repeat.
Most people I know are understanding, thankfully.