(LifeWire) -- After his father was diagnosed with dementia in 1996, Anthony Lazzara Jr. faced a difficult decision: He and his wife, Gail, either could place his father, Anthony Lazzara Sr., in a facility, or they could care for him themselves. 

Anthony Lazzara Jr. (right) and his wife, Gail (left), cared for Anthony Lazzara Sr. at home for eight years. 

Unable to afford a care facility, the Lazzaras brought him home. 

So began eight long years of caring for the World War II veteran and onetime truck driver as he slowly declined -- a burden borne largely by Gail, 56. 

She fed him, bathed him and changed his diapers on a daily basis while her husband, a truck driver, was on the road. 

Slowly, she says, her marriage began to crumble. 

"I couldn't take my frustration out on my father-in-law," she says. Instead, she took it out on her husband. 

"We almost ended up divorcing over the whole deal," says Anthony Jr., 56. 

Gail concedes she considered leaving, "but I couldn't walk away from my father-in-law." 

Two years ago, the Lazzaras finally threw in the towel. A bed became available at a local Veterans Affairs facility, and the elder Lazzara was admitted. He remained there until April 2008, when he died at age 95. 

A difficult labor of love 

As the Lazzaras can attest, the stress of caring for an elderly parent can overwhelm a relationship. Chauffeuring loved ones to appointments, handling their shopping, assuming their financial burden, even just living under the same roof can test even the most committed couples. 
Where did he go, then?
 A bed became available at a local Veterans Affairs facility, and the elder Lazzara was admitted.