But, on stroking her cheek in a caressing way soon after, he was almost shocked to find her face wet with tears.

But, on stroking her cheek caressingly, he was shocked to find her face wet with tears.


As he touched her, she sprang up, and smiling with forced brightness, began to talk of the Lennoxes with such a vehement desire to turn the conversation, that Mr. Hale was too tender-hearted to try to force it back into the old channel.

As he touched her, she sprang up, and smiling brightly, began to talk of the Lennoxes with such a vehement desire to turn the conversation, that Mr. Hale was too tender-hearted to force it back into the old channel.


"To-morrow--yes, to-morrow they will be back in Harley Street.

'Tomorrow they will be back in Harley Street.


I wonder what room they will make into the nursery?


And Captain Lennox--I wonder what he will do with himself now he has sold out!"

And Captain Lennox - I wonder what he will do with himself now he has sold out!'


"I'll tell you what," said her father, anxious to indulge her in this fresh subject of interest, "I think I must spare you for a fortnight just to run up to town and see the travellers.

'I'll tell you what,' said her father, anxious to indulge her in this fresh subject of interest, 'I think you should run up to town and see the travellers.


You could learn more by half an hour's conversation with Mr. Henry Lennox about Frederick's chances, than in a dozen of these letters of his; so it would, in fact, be uniting business with pleasure."

You could learn more about Frederick's chances in half an hour's conversation with Mr. Henry Lennox than in a dozen of these letters of his. It would be uniting business with pleasure.'


"No, papa, you cannot spare me, and what's more, I won't be spared."


Then after a pause, she added: "I am losing hope sadly about Frederick; he is letting us down gently, but I can see that Mr. Lennox himself has no hope of hunting up the witnesses under years and years of time.

After a pause, she added, 'I am losing hope about Frederick; he is letting us down gently, but I can see that Mr. Lennox has no hope of hunting up the witnesses after so many years.


No," said she, "that bubble was very pretty, and very dear to our hearts; but it has burst like many another; and we must console ourselves with being glad that Frederick is so happy, and with being a great deal to each other.

We must console ourselves with being glad that Frederick is so happy, and with being a great deal to each other.


So don't offend me by talking of being able to spare me, papa, for I assure you you can't."

So don't offend me by talking of being able to spare me, papa, for I assure you, you can't.'


But the idea of a change took root and germinated in Margaret's heart, although not in the way in which her father proposed it at first.

But the idea of a change took root in Margaret's heart, although not in the way her father proposed.


She began to consider how desirable something of the kind would be to her father, whose spirits, always feeble, now became too frequently depressed, and whose health, though he never complained, had been seriously affected by his wife's illness and death.

She began to consider how good a change would be for her father, whose spirits now became too frequently depressed, and whose health had been seriously affected by his wife's death.


There were the regular hours of reading with his pupils, but that all giving and no receiving could no longer be called companionship, as in the old days when Mr. Thornton came to study under him.

His pupils did not provide the companionship that Mr. Thornton had.


Margaret was conscious of the want under which he was suffering, unknown to himself; the want of a man's intercourse with men.

Margaret was conscious that her father needed to converse with men.


At Helstone there had been perpetual occasion for an interchange of visits with neighbouring clergymen; and the poor labourers in the fields, or leisurely tramping home at eve, or tending their cattle in the forest, were always at liberty to speak or be spoken to.

At Helstone there had been perpetual exchanging of visits with neighbouring clergymen; and the poor labourers in the fields, or tending their cattle in the forest, were always at liberty to talk.


But in Milton every one was too busy for quiet speech, or any ripened intercourse of thought; what they said was about business, very present and actual; and when the tension of mind relating to their daily affairs was over, they sunk into fallow rest until next morning.

But in Milton everyone was too busy; they spoke only about business, and then sank into fallow until next morning.


The workman was not to be found after the day's work was done; he had gone away to some lecture, or some club, or some beershop, according to his degree of character.

The workman went away to some lecture, or club, or beer-shop, according to his character.


Mr. Hale thought of trying to deliver a course of lectures at some of the institutions, but he contemplated doing this so much as an effort of duty, and with so little of the genial impulse of love towards his work and its end, that Margaret was sure that it would not be well done until he could look upon it with some kind of zest.

Mr. Hale thought of trying to deliver a course of lectures, but he contemplated doing this so much as an effort of duty that Margaret was sure that it would not be well done until he could look upon it with zest.


The future sometimes seems to sob a low warning of the events it is bringing us, like some gathering though yet remote storm, which, in tones of the wind, in flushings of the firmament, in clouds strangely torn, announces a blast strong to strew the sea with wrecks; or commissioned to bring in fog the yellow taint of pestilence covering white Western isles with the poisoned exhalations of the East, dimming the lattices of English homes with the breath of Indian plague.

The future sometimes seems to sob a low warning of coming events, like some remote gathering storm.

Chapter 24: THE VALLEY OF THE SHADOW OF DEATH


At other times this future bursts suddenly, as if a rock had rent, and in it a grave had opened, whence issues the body of one that slept.

At other times this future bursts suddenly, as if a rock had rent, and in it a grave had opened.


Ere you are aware you stand face to face with a shrouded and unthought-of calamity--a new Lazarus.

Before you are aware, you stand face to face with a shrouded and unthought-of calamity - a new Lazarus.


Caroline Helstone went home from Hollow's Cottage in good health, as she imagined.


On waking the next morning she felt oppressed with unwonted languor.


At breakfast, at each meal of the following day, she missed all sense of appetite.


Palatable food was as ashes and sawdust to her.


she asked, and looked at herself in the glass.


Her eyes were bright, their pupils dilated, her cheeks seemed rosier, and fuller than usual.

Her eyes were bright, their pupils dilated; her cheeks seemed rosier than usual.


She felt a pulse beat fast in her temples; she felt, too, her brain in strange activity.


Her spirits were raised; hundreds of busy and broken but brilliant thoughts engaged her mind.

Hundreds of busy and broken but brilliant thoughts engaged her mind.


A glow rested on them, such as tinged her complexion.


Now followed a hot, parched, thirsty, restless night.

Now followed a hot, parched, restless night.


Towards morning one terrible dream seized her like a tiger; when she woke, she felt and knew she was ill.

Towards morning a terrible dream seized her like a tiger; when she woke, she knew she was ill.


How she had caught the fever (fever it was) she could not tell.


Probably in her late walk home, some sweet, poisoned breeze, redolent of honey-dew and miasma, had passed into her lungs and veins, and finding there already a fever of mental excitement, and a languor of long conflict and habitual sadness, had fanned the spark to flame, and left a well-lit fire behind it.

But her long languor and habitual sadness had fanned the spark to flame, and left a well-lit fire behind it.


After two hot days and worried nights, there was no violence in the symptoms, and neither her uncle, nor Fanny, nor the doctor, nor Miss Keeldar, when she called, had any fear for her.


A few days would restore her, every one believed.

A few days would restore her, everyone believed.


The few days passed, and--though it was still thought it could not long delay--the revival had not begun.

The few days passed, and the revival had not begun.


Mrs. Pryor, who had visited her daily--being present in her chamber one morning when she had been ill a fortnight--watched her very narrowly for some minutes.

When she had been ill a fortnight, Mrs. Pryor, who had visited her daily, was present in her chamber one morning, watching her narrowly.


She took her hand and placed her finger on her wrist; then, quietly leaving the chamber, she went to Mr. Helstone's study.


With him she remained closeted a long time--half the morning.

With him she remained closeted a long time - half the morning.


On returning to her sick young friend, she laid aside shawl and bonnet.


She stood awhile at the bedside, one hand placed in the other, gently rocking herself to and fro, in an attitude and with a movement habitual to her.

stood awhile at the bedside, gently rocking herself to and fro, with a movement habitual to her.


At last she said, "I have sent Fanny to Fieldhead to fetch a few things for me, such as I shall want during a short stay here.

At last she said, "I have sent Fanny to Fieldhead to fetch a few things for me, for a short stay here.


It is my wish to remain with you till you are better.

I wish to remain with you till you are better


Your uncle kindly permits my attendance.


Will it to yourself be acceptable, Caroline?"


"I am sorry you should take such needless trouble.

"I am sorry you should have such trouble.


I do not feel very ill, but I cannot refuse resolutely.


It will be such comfort to know you are in the house, to see you sometimes in the room; but don't confine yourself on my account, dear Mrs. Pryor.

it will be such comfort to know you are in the house, to see you sometimes in the room; but don't confine yourself on my account, dear Mrs. Pryor."


Mrs. Pryor, bending over the pale little sufferer, was now smoothing the hair under her cap, and gently raising her pillow.

Mrs. Pryor, bending over the pale little sufferer, was smoothing the hair under her cap, and gently raising her pillow.


As she performed these offices, Caroline, smiling, lifted her face to kiss her.


was inquired in a low, earnest voice, as the self-elected nurse yielded to the caress.


She held a glass filled with some cooling beverage to her mouth.


"Have you eaten anything to-day, Caroline?"

"Have you eaten anything today, Caroline?"


"But soon your appetite will return; it _must_ return--that is, I pray God it may."

"But soon your appetite will return; I pray God it may."


In laying her again on the couch, she encircled her in her arms; and while so doing, by a movement which seemed scarcely voluntary, she drew her to her heart, and held her close gathered an instant.

In laying her down again, she encircled her in her arms; and with a movement which seemed scarcely voluntary, she drew her to her heart, and held her close an instant.


"I shall hardly wish to get well, that I may keep you always," said Caroline.

"I shall hardly wish to get well, so that I may keep you always," said Caroline.


Mrs. Pryor did not smile at this speech.


Over her features ran a tremor, which for some minutes she was absorbed in repressing.


"You are more used to Fanny than to me," she remarked ere long.

"You are more used to Fanny than to me," she remarked.


"I should think my attendance must seem strange, officious?"

"I should think my attendance must seem strange?"


You must have been accustomed to wait on sick people, ma'am.

You must be used to waiting on sick people, ma'am.


You move about the room so softly, and you speak so quietly, and touch me so gently."


You will often find me awkward, but never negligent."


From that hour Fanny and Eliza became ciphers in the sick-room.


Mrs. Pryor made it her domain; she performed all its duties; she lived in it day and night.

Mrs. Pryor made the sick-room her domain; she performed all its duties; she lived in it day and night.


The patient remonstrated--faintly, however, from the first, and not at all ere long.

The patient remonstrated, but only faintly, and not for long.


Loneliness and gloom were now banished from her bedside; protection and solace sat there instead.


She and her nurse coalesced in wondrous union.


Caroline was usually pained to require or receive much attendance.


Mrs. Pryor, under ordinary circumstances, had neither the habit nor the art of performing little offices of service; but all now passed with such ease, so naturally, that the patient was as willing to be cherished as the nurse was bent on cherishing; no sign of weariness in the latter ever reminded the former that she ought to be anxious.

The patient was as willing to be cherished as the nurse was bent on cherishing.


There was, in fact, no very hard duty to perform; but a hireling might have found it hard.


With all this care it seemed strange the sick girl did not get well; yet such was the case.


She wasted like any snow-wreath in thaw; she faded like any flower in drought.


Miss Keeldar, on whose thoughts danger or death seldom intruded, had at first entertained no fears at all for her friend; but seeing her change and sink from time to time when she paid her visits, alarm clutched her heart.

Miss Keeldar, on whose thoughts danger or death seldom intruded, at first had no fears for her friend; but seeing her change and sink, alarm clutched her heart.


She went to Mr. Helstone and expressed herself with so much energy that that gentleman was at last obliged, however unwillingly, to admit the idea that his niece was ill of something more than a migraine; and when Mrs. Pryor came and quietly demanded a physician, he said she might send for two if she liked.

She went to Mr. Helstone and expressed herself with so much energy that he was obliged, however unwillingly, to admit the idea that his niece was ill with something more than a migraine; and when Mrs. Pryor came and quietly demanded a doctor, he said she might send for two if she liked.


He delivered a dark saying of which the future was to solve the mystery, wrote some prescriptions, gave some directions--the whole with an air of crushing authority--pocketed his fee, and went.

; he said darkly that the future would solve the mystery, wrote some prescriptions, gave some directions - all with an air of crushing authority - pocketed his fee, and went.


Probably he knew well enough he could do no good, but didn't like to say so.

Probably he knew well enough he could do no good, but did not like to say so.


Still, no rumour of serious illness got wind in the neighbourhood.

Still, no rumour of serious illness travelled through the neighbourhood.


At Hollow's Cottage it was thought that Caroline had only a severe cold, she having written a note to Hortense to that effect; and mademoiselle contented herself with sending two pots of currant jam, a recipe for a tisane, and a note of advice.

At Hollow's Cottage it was thought that Caroline had only a severe cold, she having written a note to Hortense to that effect.


Mrs. Yorke being told that a physician had been summoned, sneered at the hypochondriac fancies of the rich and idle, who, she said, having nothing but themselves to think about, must needs send for a doctor if only so much as their little finger ached.

Mrs. Yorke, on being told that a doctor had been summoned, sneered at the hypochondriac fancies of the rich and idle, who, she said, having nothing but themselves to think about, must needs send for a doctor if their little finger ached.


The "rich and idle," represented in the person of Caroline, were meantime falling fast into a condition of prostration, whose quickly consummated debility puzzled all who witnessed it except one; for that one alone reflected how liable is the undermined structure to sink in sudden ruin.

The "rich and idle" Caroline, meantime, was falling fast into a condition of debility which puzzled all except Mrs. Pryor; for she alone reflected how liable is the undermined structure to sink in sudden ruin.


Sick people often have fancies inscrutable to ordinary attendants, and Caroline had one which even her tender nurse could not at first explain.

Sick people often have fancies, and Caroline had one which even her tender nurse could not at first explain.


On a certain day in the week, at a certain hour, she would--whether worse or better--entreat to be taken up and dressed, and suffered to sit in her chair near the window.

On a certain day in the week, at a certain hour, she would entreat to be taken up and dressed, and to sit in her chair near the window.


This station she would retain till noon was past.


Whatever degree of exhaustion or debility her wan aspect betrayed, she still softly put off all persuasion to seek repose until the church clock had duly tolled midday.

No matter how exhausted she appeared, she would not lie down again until the church clock had tolled midday.


The twelve strokes sounded, she grew docile, and would meekly lie down.


Returned to the couch, she usually buried her face deep in the pillow, and drew the coverlets close round her, as if to shut out the world and sun, of which she was tired.

Then, back in bed, she usually buried her face deep in the pillow, and drew the coverlets close round her, as if to shut out the world.


More than once, as she thus lay, a slight convulsion shook the sick-bed, and a faint sob broke the silence round it.

More than once, as she thus lay, Mrs. Pryor noted that a slight convulsion shook the sick-bed, and a faint sob broke the silence


These things were not unnoted by Mrs. Pryor.


One Tuesday morning, as usual, she had asked leave to rise, and now she sat wrapped in her white dressing-gown, leaning forward in the easy-chair, gazing steadily and patiently from the lattice.

One Tuesday morning, as usual, Caroline had asked to rise, and now she sat wrapped in her white dressing-gown, leaning forward in the easy-chair, gazing steadily through the window.


Mrs. Pryor was seated a little behind, knitting as it seemed, but, in truth, watching her.

Mrs. Pryor was seated behind, knitting and watching her.


A change crossed her pale, mournful brow, animating its languor; a light shot into her faded eyes, reviving their lustre; she half rose and looked earnestly out.

A change crossed her pale, mournful brow; she half rose and looked earnestly out.


Mrs. Pryor, drawing softly near, glanced over her shoulder.


From this window was visible the churchyard, beyond it the road; and there, riding sharply by, appeared a horseman.

From here the churchyard was visible, beyond it the road; and there, riding sharply by, appeared a horseman.


The figure was not yet too remote for recognition.


Mrs. Pryor had long sight; she knew Mr. Moore.


Just as an intercepting rising ground concealed him from view, the clock struck twelve.

Just as the rising ground concealed him from view, the clock struck twelve.


Having laid her down and drawn the curtain, she stood listening near.

Having laid her down and drawn the curtain round her, she stood listening near.


The little couch trembled, the suppressed sob stirred the air.


A contraction as of anguish altered Mrs. Pryor's features; she wrung her hands; half a groan escaped her lips.

A contraction as of anguish altered Mrs. Pryor's features; half a groan escaped her lips.


She now remembered that Tuesday was Whinbury market day.


Mr. Moore must always pass the rectory on his way thither, just ere noon of that day.

, when Mr. Moore must pass by just before noon.


Caroline wore continually round her neck a slender braid of silk, attached to which was some trinket.

Caroline always wore round her neck a slender braid of silk, attached to which was some trinket.


Mrs. Pryor had seen the bit of gold glisten, but had not yet obtained a fair view of it.


When dressed it was hidden in her bosom; as she lay in bed she always held it in her hand.

When dressed it was hidden; as she lay in bed she held it in her hand.


That Tuesday afternoon the transient doze--more like lethargy than sleep--which sometimes abridged the long days, had stolen over her.


While turning in febrile restlessness, she had pushed the coverlets a little aside.

zed in feverish restlessness, she had pushed the coverlets a little aside.


The small, wasted hand, lying nerveless on the sick girl's breast, clasped as usual her jealously-guarded treasure.

The small, wasted hand clasped as usual her jealously-guarded treasure


Those fingers whose attenuation it gave pain to see were now relaxed in sleep.

; but its fingers were now relaxed in sleep.


Mrs. Pryor gently disengaged the braid, drawing out a tiny locket--a slight thing it was, such as it suited her small purse to purchase.

Mrs. Pryor gently freed the braid, drawing out a tiny locket.


Under its crystal face appeared a curl of black hair, too short and crisp to have been severed from a female head.

Under its crystal face appeared a curl of short black hair.


Some agitated movement occasioned a twitch of the silken chain.


Her thoughts were usually now somewhat scattered on waking, her look generally wandering.


Half rising, as if in terror, she exclaimed, "Don't take it from me, Robert!


I never tell any one whose hair it is; I never show it."

I never tell anyone whose hair it is; I never show it."


Mrs. Pryor had already disappeared behind the curtain.


Reclining far back in a deep arm-chair by the bedside, she was withdrawn from view.


Caroline looked abroad into the chamber; she thought it empty.

Caroline looked around the chamber; she thought it empty.


As her stray ideas returned slowly, each folding its weak wings on the mind's sad shore, like birds exhausted, beholding void, and perceiving silence round her, she believed herself alone.


Collected she was not yet; perhaps healthy self-possession and self-control were to be hers no more; perhaps that world the strong and prosperous live in had already rolled from beneath her feet for ever.


So, at least, it often seemed to herself.


In health she had never been accustomed to think aloud, but now words escaped her lips unawares.


"Oh, I _should_ see him once more before all is over!

"Oh, I should see him once more before all is over!"


"God grant me a little comfort before I die!"


"But he will not know I am ill till I am gone, and he will come when they have laid me out, and I am senseless, cold, and stiff.

"But he will not know I am ill till I am gone, and he will come when they have laid me out, and I am cold and stiff.


Can it see or know what happens to the clay?


Can spirits, through any medium, communicate with living flesh?


Can the dead at all revisit those they leave?


Will wind, water, fire, lend me a path to Moore?


"Is it for nothing the wind sounds almost articulately sometimes--sings as I have lately heard it sing at night--or passes the casement sobbing, as if for sorrow to come?

"Is it for nothing the wind sings at night - or sobs, as if for sorrow to come?


Does nothing, then, haunt it, nothing inspire it?

Does nothing haunt it, nothing inspire it?


"Why, it suggested to me words one night; it poured a strain which I could have written down, only I was appalled, and dared not rise to seek pencil and paper by the dim watch-light.

"Why, it suggested to me words one night; I would have written them down, only they appalled me.


"What is that electricity they speak of, whose changes make us well or ill, whose lack or excess blasts, whose even balance revives?


What are all those influences that are about us in the atmosphere, that keep playing over our nerves like fingers on stringed instruments, and call forth now a sweet note, and now a wail--now an exultant swell, and anon the saddest cadence?

"What are those influences in the atmosphere, that play over our nerves like fingers on stringed instruments, and call forth now a sweet, exultant note, and now the saddest wail?


Have I not cause to think that the hour is hasting but too fast when the veil must be rent for me?

Is not the hour hastening when the veil must be rent for me?


Do I not know the Grand Mystery is likely to burst prematurely on me?


Great Spirit, in whose goodness I confide, whom, as my Father, I have petitioned night and morning from early infancy, help the weak creation of Thy hands!

Great Spirit, to whom, as my Father, I have prayed from my childhood, help me!


Sustain me through the ordeal I dread and must undergo!


Mrs. Pryor found means to steal quietly from the room.


She re-entered it soon after, apparently as composed as if she had really not overheard this strange soliloquy.

She re-entered it soon after, as if she had overheard nothing.


It had become known that Miss Helstone was worse.


Mr. Hall and his sister Margaret arrived.


Both, after they had been in the sickroom, quitted it in tears; they had found the patient more altered than they expected.

; both left the sickroom in tears, so altered had they found the patient.


, and Caroline seemed stimulated by her presence.


She assured her, smiling, she was not dangerously ill; she talked to her in a low voice, but cheerfully.

She assured her, smiling, that she was not dangerously ill; she talked to her cheerfully,


During her stay, excitement kept up the flush of her complexion; she looked better.

and with her flushed complexion, she looked better.


asked Mrs. Pryor, as Hortense was preparing to take leave.


It was then explained that some police intelligence about the rioters of whom he was in pursuit had, that morning, called him away to Birmingham, and probably a fortnight might elapse ere he returned.

News from the police about the rioters has taken him to Birmingham for a fortnight."


"He is not aware that Miss Helstone is very ill?"


He thought, like me, that she had only a bad cold."


After this visit, Mrs. Pryor took care not to approach Caroline's couch for above an hour.


She heard her weep, and dared not look on her tears.


As evening closed in, she brought her some tea.

As evening closed in, Mrs. Pryor brought her patient some tea.


Caroline, opening her eyes from a moment's slumber, viewed her nurse with an unrecognizing glance.


"I smelt the honeysuckles in the glen this summer morning," she said, "as I stood at the counting-house window."

"I smelt the honeysuckles this summer morning," she said, "as I stood at the counting-house window."


Strange words like these from pallid lips pierce a loving listener's heart more poignantly than steel.

Strange words like these pierce a loving listener's heart more poignantly than steel.


They sound romantic, perhaps, in books; in real life they are harrowing.


"I thought it was daylight--long after sunrise.

"I thought it was daylight - long after sunrise.


That moon, lately risen, was gazing full and mild upon her.

The moon, lately risen, was gazing full and mild upon her.


Floating in deep blue space, it watched her unclouded.


"It is myself--it is your friend--your nurse--your---- Lean your head on my shoulder.

"It is myself - your friend - your nurse - your - lean your head on my shoulder."


The patient lay mute and passive in the trembling arms, on the throbbing bosom of the nurse.

The patient lay mute and passive in the nurse's trembling arms.


"I am better now," whispered Caroline at last, "much better.

"I am better now," whispered Caroline at last.


I talk when I wake up from dreams; people often do in illness.


"It is not fear, child--only a little anxiety, which will pass.

"It is only a little anxiety, which will pass.


You know he says he can make a better cup of tea than any housewife can.

You know he says he can make a better cup of tea than any housewife.


He is concerned to hear that you eat so little; he would be glad if you had a better appetite."

He is concerned to hear that you eat so little."


Mrs. Pryor raised her, and arranged her pillows.


I am not always equally miserable, and ill, and hopeless.


The afternoon has been bad since Hortense went; perhaps the evening may be better.

"The afternoon has been bad since Hortense went;" said Caroline. "Perhaps the evening may be better.


The old church-tower gleams white almost as silver."

The old church-tower gleams like silver."


"And does the churchyard look peaceful?"


"Can you see many long weeds and nettles amongst the graves?

"Can you see many weeds and nettles amongst the graves?


"I see closed daisy-heads gleaming like pearls on some mounds.

"I see closed daisy-heads gleaming like pearls.


Thomas has mown down the dock-leaves and rank grass, and cleared all away."


"I always like that to be done; it soothes one's mind to see the place in order.


And, I dare say, within the church just now that moonlight shines as softly as in my room.


It will fall through the east window full on the Helstone monument.

will fall through the east window of the church full on the Helstone monument.


When I close my eyes I seem to see poor papa's epitaph in black letters on the white marble.

When I close my eyes I seem to see poor papa's epitaph on the white marble.


There is plenty of room for other inscriptions underneath."


"William Farren came to look after your flowers this morning.


He was afraid, now you cannot tend them yourself, they would be neglected.


He has taken two of your favourite plants home to nurse for you."


"If I were to make a will, I would leave William all my plants; Shirley my trinkets--except one, which must not be taken off my neck; and you, ma'am, my books."

"If I were to make a will, I would leave William all my plants; Shirley my trinkets - except one, which must not be taken off my neck; and you, ma'am, my books."


After a pause--"Mrs. Pryor, I feel a longing wish for something."


"You know I always delight to hear you sing.

you know I always delight to hear you sing.


'Our God, our help in ages past, Our hope for years to come, Our shelter from the stormy blast, Our refuge, haven, home!'"


No wonder Caroline liked to hear her sing.


Her voice, even in speaking, was sweet and silver clear; in song it was almost divine.

Her speaking voice was sweet and silver clear; in song it was almost divine,


Neither flute nor dulcimer has tones so pure.


But the tone was secondary, compared to the expression which trembled through--a tender vibration from a feeling heart.


The servants in the kitchen, hearing the strain, stole to the stair-foot to listen.

The servants in the kitchen, hearing it, stole to the stair-foot to listen.


Even old Helstone, as he walked in the garden, pondering over the unaccountable and feeble nature of women, stood still amongst his borders to catch the mournful melody more distinctly.

Even old Helstone, as he walked in the garden, pondering over the feeble nature of women, stood still to catch the mournful melody.


Why it reminded him of his forgotten dead wife, he could not tell; nor why it made him more concerned than he had hitherto been for Caroline's fading girlhood.

Why it reminded him of his forgotten dead wife, he could not tell.


He was glad to recollect that he had promised to pay Wynne, the magistrate, a visit that evening.


Low spirits and gloomy thoughts were very much his aversion.


When they attacked him he usually found means to make them march in double-quick time.


The hymn followed him faintly as he crossed the fields.


He hastened his customary sharp pace, that he might get beyond its reach.

He hastened his pace, that he might get beyond its reach.


"Thy word commands our flesh to dust,-- 'Return, ye sons of men;' All nations rose from earth at first, And turn to earth again.


"A thousand ages in Thy sight Are like an evening gone-- Short as the watch that ends the night Before the rising sun.


"Time, like an ever-rolling stream, Bears all its sons away; They fly, forgotten, as a dream Dies at the opening day.


"Like flowery fields, the nations stand, Fresh in the morning light; The flowers beneath the mower's hand Lie withering ere 'tis night.


"Our God, our help in ages past, Our hope for years to come, Be Thou our guard while troubles last-- O Father, be our home!"

"Our God, our help in ages past,
Our hope for years to come,
Be Thou our guard while troubles last-
O Father, be our home!"


"Now sing a song--a Scottish song," suggested Caroline, when the hymn was over--"'Ye banks and braes o' bonnie Doon.'"

"Now sing a Scottish song," suggested Caroline. "'Ye banks and braes o' bonnie Doon.'"


Again Mrs. Pryor obeyed, or essayed to obey.


At the close of the first stanza she stopped.


"You are weeping at the pathos of the air.

"You are weeping at the sadness of the song.


Come here, and I will comfort you," said Caroline, in a pitying accent.


She sat down on the edge of her patient's bed, and allowed the wasted arms to encircle her.

sat on the edge of the bed, and allowed the wasted arms to encircle her.


"You often soothe me; let me soothe you," murmured the young girl, kissing her cheek.


"I hope," she added, "it is not for me you weep?"


"But your mind, Caroline--your mind is crushed.


Your heart is almost broken; you have been so neglected, so repulsed, left so desolate."

your heart is almost broken, Caroline; you have been so neglected, so repulsed, left so desolate."


"I believe grief is, and always has been, my worst ailment.

"I believe grief has been my worst ailment.


I sometimes think if an abundant gush of happiness came on me I could revive yet."

I sometimes think if happiness came to me I could revive yet."


"Very much--very truly--inexpressibly sometimes.


Just now I feel as if I could almost grow to your heart."


"I will return directly, dear," remarked Mrs. Pryor, as she laid Caroline down.

"I will return directly, dear," remarked Mrs. Pryor.


Quitting her, she glided to the door, softly turned the key in the lock, ascertained that it was fast, and came back.

Gliding to the door, she softly turned the key in the lock, and came back.


She threw back the curtain to admit the moonlight more freely.


Caroline and gazed intently on her face.


"Then, if you love me," said she, speaking quickly, with an altered voice; "if you feel as if, to use your own words, you could 'grow to my heart,' it will be neither shock nor pain for you to know that _that_ heart is the source whence yours was filled; that from _my_ veins issued the tide which flows in _yours_; that you are _mine_--my daughter--my own child."

"Then, if you love me," said she, "it will be neither shock nor pain for you to know that from my veins issued the blood which flows in yours; that you are mine - my daughter - my own child."


"That is--that means--you have adopted me?"


"It means that, if I have given you nothing else, I at least gave you life; that I bore you, nursed you; that I am your true mother."


No other woman can claim the title; it is _mine_."


"But Mrs. James Helstone--but my father's wife, whom I do not remember ever to have seen, she is my mother?"

"But Mrs. James Helstone - my father's wife, whom I do not remember, she is my mother?"


I thought perhaps you were all his, which would have been a cruel dispensation for me.

I thought perhaps you were all his, which would have been cruel.


But God permitted me to be the parent of my child's mind.


It belongs to me; it is my property--my _right_.


He had a fine face when he was young, and not altered by error.


Papa, my darling, gave you your blue eyes and soft brown hair; he gave you the oval of your face and the regularity of your lineaments--the outside _he_ conferred; but the heart and the brain are _mine_.

Papa gave you your blue eyes and soft brown hair, my darling; he gave you your oval face and regular features; but the heart and brain are mine,


The germs are from _me_, and they are improved, they are developed to excellence.


I esteem and approve my child as highly as I do most fondly love her."

I esteem my child as highly as I do most fondly love her."


"I wish it were as true that the substance and colour of health were restored to your cheek."


is she one I can be so fond of as I can of you?

Is she one I can be so fond of as I can of you?


People generally did not like her--so I have been given to understand."

I have been told people generally did not like her."


Well, your mother now tells you that, not having the gift to please people generally, for their approbation she does not care.

Well, your mother now tells you that, not having the gift to please people generally, for their approval she does not care.


"But if you _are_ my mother, the world is all changed to me.

"But if you are my mother, the world is all changed to me.


You drew life and strength from my breast when you were a tiny, fair infant, over whose blue eyes I used to weep, fearing I beheld in your very beauty the sign of qualities that had entered my heart like iron, and pierced through my soul like a sword.


we have been long parted; I return now to cherish you again."


She held her to her bosom; she cradled her in her arms; she rocked her softly, as if lulling a young child to sleep.

She cradled her in her arms; she rocked her softly, as if lulling a young child to sleep.


The offspring nestled to the parent; that parent, feeling the endearment and hearing the appeal, gathered her closer still.

The offspring nestled to the parent; that parent gathered her closer still.


She covered her with noiseless kisses; she murmured love over her, like a cushat fostering its young.

She covered her with noiseless kisses; she murmured love over her, like a dove nurturing its young.


There was silence in the room for a long while.


I told him when I first came to stay with you here."

"I told him when I came to stay with you here."


"Did you recognize me when we first met at Fieldhead?"


Mr. and Miss Helstone being announced, I was prepared to see my child."


"You saw nothing, Caroline; I can cover my feelings.


You can never tell what an age of strange sensation I lived, during the two minutes that elapsed between the report of your name and your entrance.

do not know what an age of strange sensation I lived, during the two minutes that elapsed between you being announced and your entrance.


You can never tell how your look, mien, carriage, shook me."


I had asked myself; and when I saw what you were like, I could have dropped."

I had asked myself; and when I saw you, I could have dropped.


I said, I will never own her; she shall never know me."


I felt a little diffident at the thought of an introduction to strangers--that was all."

I felt a little diffident at meeting strangers - that was all."


That was the first thing which reassured me."


Had you been rustic, clownish, awkward, I should have been content."


"I had reason to dread a fair outside, to mistrust a popular bearing, to shudder before distinction, grace, and courtesy.

"I had reason to dread beauty, to mistrust grace and courtesy.


Beauty and affability had come in my way when I was recluse, desolate, young, and ignorant--a toil-worn governess perishing of uncheered labour, breaking down before her time.

Beauty and affability had come in my way when I was young and desolate - a toil-worn governess breaking down before her time.


These, Caroline, when they smiled on me, I mistook for angels.


I followed them home; and when into their hands I had given without reserve my whole chance of future happiness, it was my lot to witness a transfiguration on the domestic hearth--to see the white mask lifted, the bright disguise put away, and opposite me sat down---- O God, I _have_ suffered!"

I followed them home; and when I had given my chance of future happiness into their hands, I witnessed a transfiguration - saw the white mask lifted, the bright disguise put away, and opposite me sat down - O God, I have suffered!"


There was no sympathy, no redemption, no redress!"


I tried to keep the word of His patience.


I was afraid with terror--I was troubled.


Through great tribulation He brought me through to a salvation revealed in this last time.

Through great tribulation He brought me through to this salvation.


My fear had torment; He has cast it out.


He has given me in its stead perfect love.

, and given me in its stead perfect love.


Thus she invoked her daughter after a pause.


"I charge you, when you next look on your father's monument, to respect the name chiselled there.

"When you next look on your father's monument, respect the name chiselled there.


On you he conferred his whole treasure of beauties, nor added to them one dark defect.

On you he conferred all his beauties, and none of his defects.


All _you_ derived from him is excellent.


Leave, between him and me, the settlement of our mutual account.


This world's laws never came near us--never!


They were powerless as a rotten bulrush to protect me--impotent as idiot babblings to restrain him!

were powerless to protect me, or to restrain him!


As you said, it is all over now; the grave lies between us.


To his dust I say this night, what I have never said before, 'James, slumber peacefully!


I wipe out the long, black account with my own hand!


This living likeness of you--this thing with your perfect features--this one good gift you gave me has nestled affectionately to my heart, and tenderly called me "mother."

This one good gift you gave me has nestled to my heart, and tenderly called me "mother."


Is he comforted to know that we still love him?"


Mind the truth, child; I said nothing of love!


On the threshold of eternity, should he be there to see me enter, will I maintain that."


It can hold more tears than the ocean holds waters.


We never know how deep, how wide it is, till misery begins to unbind her clouds, and fill it with rushing blackness."

We never know how deep, how wide it is, till misery fills it with rushing blackness."


she said, with the strangest spectre of a laugh.


"The north pole will rush to the south, and the headlands of Europe be locked into the bays of Australia ere I forget."

"The world will change before I forget."


And the child lulled the parent, as the parent had erst lulled the child.

And the child lulled the parent, as the parent had lulled the child.


She resumed those tender cares agitation had for a moment suspended.


Replacing her daughter on the couch, she smoothed the pillow and spread the sheet.

Replacing her daughter on the bed, she smoothed the pillow


The soft hair whose locks were loosened she rearranged, the damp brow she refreshed with a cool, fragrant essence.

, rearranged the soft hair, and refreshed the damp brow.


"Mamma, let them bring a candle, that I may see you; and tell my uncle to come into this room by-and-by.

"Mamma, let them bring a candle, so that I may see you; and tell my uncle to come in.


I want to hear him say that I am your daughter.


Don't leave me for one minute to-night."


You will say to me, Go, and I shall go; Come, and I shall come; Do this, and I shall do it.

You will say to me, Go, and I shall go; Do this, and I shall do it.


You inherit a certain manner as well as certain features.


It will always be 'mamma' prefacing a mandate--softly spoken, though, from you, thank God!


Well," she added, under her breath, "he spoke softly too, once, like a flute breathing tenderness; and then, when the world was not by to listen, discords that split the nerves and curdled the blood--sounds to inspire insanity."

Well," she added, under her breath, "he spoke softly too, once; and then, when the world was not listening, sounds to curdle the blood."


"It seems so natural, mamma, to ask you for this and that.


I shall want nobody but you to be near me, or to do anything for me.


"You must not depend on me to check you; you must keep guard over yourself.

"You must not depend on me to stop you; I have little moral courage.


I have little moral courage; the want of it is my bane.


It is that which has made me an unnatural parent--which has kept me apart from my child during the ten years which have elapsed since my husband's death left me at liberty to claim her.

It is that which kept me apart from my child during the ten years since my husband's death.


It was that which first unnerved my arms and permitted the infant I might have retained a while longer to be snatched prematurely from their embrace."

It was that which first permitted the infant I might have kept a while longer to be snatched from my embrace."


"I let you go as a babe, because you were pretty, and I feared your loveliness, deeming it the stamp of perversity.


They sent me your portrait, taken at eight years old; that portrait confirmed my fears.

They sent me your portrait, taken at eight years old; it confirmed my fears.


Had it shown me a sunburnt little rustic--a heavy, blunt-featured, commonplace child--I should have hastened to claim you; but there, under the silver paper, I saw blooming the delicacy of an aristocratic flower--'little lady' was written on every trait.

Had it shown me a heavy, blunt-featured, commonplace child, I should have hastened to claim you; but I saw the delicacy of an aristocratic flower - a 'little lady'.


I had too recently crawled from under the yoke of the fine gentleman--escaped galled, crushed, paralyzed, dying--to dare to encounter his still finer and most fairy-like representative.

I had too recently crawled from under the yoke of the fine gentleman - escaped crushed and paralysed - to dare to meet his still finer representative.


My sweet little lady overwhelmed me with dismay; her air of native elegance froze my very marrow.

My sweet little lady overwhelmed me with dismay; her air of elegance froze my marrow.


In my experience I had not met with truth, modesty, good principle as the concomitants of beauty.

In my experience, truth had not gone along with beauty.


A form so straight and fine, I argued, must conceal a mind warped and cruel.


I had little faith in the power of education to rectify such a mind; or rather, I entirely misdoubted my own ability to influence it.


Caroline, I dared not undertake to rear you.


I resolved to leave you in your uncle's hands.


Matthewson Helstone I knew, if an austere, was an upright man.

Matthewson Helstone, I knew, was an upright if austere man.


He and all the world thought hardly of me for my strange, unmotherly resolve, and I deserved to be misjudged."

He and all the world thought badly of me for my strange, unmotherly resolve, and I deserved to be misjudged."


"Mamma, why did you call yourself Mrs. Pryor?"


I adopted it that I might live unmolested.


My married name recalled too vividly my married life; I could not bear it.


Besides, threats were uttered of forcing me to return to bondage.


Rather a bier for a bed, the grave for a home.


I resumed under its screen my old occupation of teaching.

Under it, I resumed my old occupation of teaching.


At first it scarcely procured me the means of sustaining life; but how savoury was hunger when I fasted in peace!

At first I scarcely earned a living; but


How safe seemed the darkness and chill of an unkindled hearth when no lurid reflection from terror crimsoned its desolation!

how safe seemed the hunger and chill of a cold hearth when free from terror!


How serene was solitude, when I feared not the irruption of violence and vice!"

How serene was solitude, when I feared no violence and vice!"


"But, mamma, you have been in this neighbourhood before.


How did it happen that when you reappeared here with Miss Keeldar you were not recognized?"

How was it that when you reappeared here with Miss Keeldar you were not recognized?"


"I only paid a short visit, as a bride, twenty years ago, and then I was very different to what I am now--slender, almost as slender as my daughter is at this day.

"I only paid a short visit, as a bride, twenty years ago, and then I was very different.


My complexion, my very features are changed; my hair, my style of dress--everything is altered.

My figure, my features, my hair - everything is altered.


You cannot fancy me a slim young person, attired in scanty drapery of white muslin, with bare arms, bracelets and necklace of beads, and hair disposed in round Grecian curls above my forehead?"

You cannot imagine me slim and dressed in scanty white muslin, with hair in Grecian curls above my forehead?"


Mamma, I heard my uncle coming into the house.


If it is my uncle coming in, just ask him to step upstairs, and let me hear his assurance that I am truly awake and collected, and not dreaming or delirious."

Ask him to step upstairs, and let me hear his assurance that I am truly awake and not dreaming."


The rector, of his own accord, was mounting the stairs, and Mrs. Pryor summoned him to his niece's apartment.


She is disposed to converse; she seems stronger."


said he, brushing quickly into the room.--"Ha, Cary!

said he, brushing quickly into the room. "Ha, Cary!


I made it for you just as I like it myself."


It did me good; it has made me quite alive.


I have a wish for company, so I begged Mrs. Pryor to call you in."

I wished for company, so I begged Mrs. Pryor to call you in."


The respected ecclesiastic looked pleased, and yet embarrassed.

The rector looked pleased, and yet embarrassed.


He was willing enough to bestow his company on his sick niece for ten minutes, since it was her whim to wish it; but what means to employ for her entertainment he knew not.

He was willing enough to bestow his company on his sick niece for ten minutes; but how to entertain her he knew not.


"You'll be up in a trice," he observed, by way of saying something.


"The little weakness will soon pass off; and then you must drink port wine--a pipe, if you can--and eat game and oysters.

"The little weakness will soon pass off; and then you must drink port wine and eat game and oysters.


I'll get them for you, if they are to be had anywhere.


we'll make you as strong as Samson before we're done with you."

we'll make you as strong as Samson before we're done."


"Who is that lady, uncle, standing beside you at the bed-foot?"

"Who is that lady, uncle, standing beside you?"


"I am wandering in a pleasant world," said Caroline, in a soft, happy voice, "and I want you to tell me whether it is real or visionary.


"We must have Dr. Rile again, ma'am; or better still, MacTurk.


Thomas must saddle the pony and go for him."


Mr. Helstone pushed up his spectacles from his nose to his forehead, handled his snuff-box, and administered to himself a portion of the contents.

Mr. Helstone pushed up his spectacles to his forehead, and took a pinch of snuff from his snuff-box.


Thus fortified, he answered briefly, "I see daylight.


demanded Caroline, rising on her pillow.


"You won't cry, or make any scene, or turn hysterical, if I answer Yes?"


It would be terrible to be disappointed now.


"I call this stout lady in a quaint black dress, who looks young enough to wear much smarter raiment, if she would--I call her Agnes Helstone.


She married my brother James, and is his widow."


Look at her small face, Mrs. Pryor, scarcely larger than the palm of my hand, alive with acuteness and eagerness."


To Caroline--"She had the trouble of bringing you into the world at any rate.

She had the trouble of bringing you into the world.


Mind you show your duty to her by quickly getting well, and repairing the waste of these cheeks.--Heigh-ho!

Mind you show your duty to her by quickly getting well!"


What she has done with it all I can't, for the life of me, divine."


"If _wishing_ to get well will help me, I shall not be long sick.

"If wishing to get well will help me, I shall not be long sick.


This morning I had no reason and no strength to wish it."


Fanny here tapped at the door, and said that supper was ready.


"Uncle, if you please, you may send me a little bit of supper--anything you like, from your own plate.

"Uncle, if you please, send me a little bit of supper - anything you like, from your own plate.


That is wiser than going into hysterics, is it not?"


See if I don't cater for you judiciously.


When women are sensible, and, above all, intelligible, I can get on with them.

When women are sensible and intelligible, I can get on with them.


It is only the vague, superfine sensations, and extremely wire-drawn notions, that put me about.

It is only the superfine sensations and extreme notions that put me out.


Let a woman ask me to give her an edible or a wearable--be the same a roc's egg or the breastplate of Aaron, a share of St. John's locusts and honey or the leathern girdle about his loins--I can, at least, understand the demand; but when they pine for they know not what--sympathy, sentiment, some of these indefinite abstractions--I can't do it; I don't know it; I haven't got it.--Madam, accept my arm."

If a woman asks me for something edible or wearable, I can understand the demand; but when they pine for sympathy, sentiment, and whatnot - I can't do it; I don't know it; I haven't got it."


Mrs. Pryor signified that she should stay with her daughter that evening.


Helstone, accordingly, left them together.


He soon returned, bringing a plate in his own consecrated hand.


"This is chicken," he said, "but we'll have partridge to-morrow.--Lift her up, and put a shawl over her.

"This is chicken," he said, "but we'll have partridge tomorrow. - Lift her up, and put a shawl over her.


On my word, I understand nursing.--Now, here is the very same little silver fork you used when you first came to the rectory.


That strikes me as being what you may call a happy thought--a delicate attention.

That strikes me as being what you may call a happy thought - a delicate attention.


Take it, Cary, and munch away cleverly."


Her uncle frowned to see that her powers were so limited.

Her uncle frowned to see her so weakened.


He prophesied, however, great things for the future; and as she praised the morsel he had brought, and smiled gratefully in his face, he stooped over her pillow, kissed her, and said, with a broken, rugged accent, "Good-night, bairnie!

He prophesied, however, great things for the future; and as she smiled gratefully, he stooped over her pillow, kissed her, and said, with a broken, rugged accent, "Good-night, bairnie!


Caroline enjoyed such peaceful rest that night, circled by her mother's arms, and pillowed on her breast, that she forgot to wish for any other stay; and though more than one feverish dream came to her in slumber, yet, when she woke up panting, so happy and contented a feeling returned with returning consciousness that her agitation was soothed almost as soon as felt.

Caroline enjoyed peaceful rest that night, encircled by her mother's arms, and pillowed on her breast; and though more than one feverish dream came to her in slumber, yet, when she woke, returning consciousness brought so happy a feeling that her agitation was swiftly soothed.


As to the mother, she spent the night like Jacob at Peniel.

As for the mother, she spent the night like Jacob


Till break of day she wrestled with God in earnest prayer.


Louis Moore's doubts respecting the immediate evacuation of Fieldhead by Mr. Sympson turned out to be perfectly well founded.

Louis Moore's doubts whether Mr. Sympson would leave immediately turned out to be well founded.


The very next day after the grand quarrel about Sir Philip Nunnely a sort of reconciliation was patched up between uncle and niece.

The day after the grand quarrel about Sir Philip Nunnely, a sort of reconciliation was patched up between uncle and niece.


Shirley, who could never find it in her heart to be or to seem inhospitable (except in the single instance of Mr. Donne), begged the whole party to stay a little longer.

Shirley, who could never find it in her heart to be inhospitable (except to Mr. Donne), earnestly begged the family to stay a little longer.


She begged in such earnest it was evident she wished it for some reason.


Indeed, the uncle could not bring himself to leave her quite unwatched--at full liberty to marry Robert Moore as soon as that gentleman should be able (Mr. Sympson piously prayed this might never be the case) to reassert his supposed pretensions to her hand.

Indeed, the uncle could not bring himself to leave her unwatched - at full liberty to marry Robert Moore as soon as that gentleman should be able to resume his courtship.


In his first rage against all the house of Moore, Mr. Sympson had so conducted himself towards Mr. Louis that that gentleman--patient of labour or suffering, but intolerant of coarse insolence--had promptly resigned his post, and could now be induced to resume and retain it only till such time as the family should quit Yorkshire.

In his first rage against the house of Moore, Mr. Sympson had behaved towards Mr. Louis so insolently that the tutor had promptly resigned his post, and could be induced to resume it only until the family should quit Yorkshire.


Mrs. Sympson's entreaties prevailed with him thus far; his own attachment to his pupil constituted an additional motive for concession; and probably he had a third motive, stronger than either of the other two.

Louis was persuaded by Mrs. Sympson's entreaties and his own attachment to his pupil; and probably he had a third motive.


Probably he would have found it very hard indeed to leave Fieldhead just now.

He would have found it very hard indeed to leave Fieldhead just now.


Things went on for some time pretty smoothly.


Miss Keeldar's health was re-established; her spirits resumed their flow.

Miss Keeldar's health and spirits were re-established.


Moore had found means to relieve her from every nervous apprehension; and, indeed, from the moment of giving him her confidence, every fear seemed to have taken wing.

Moore had relieved her from every nervous apprehension; and her fear seemed to have taken wing.


Her heart became as lightsome, her manner as careless, as those of a little child, that, thoughtless of its own life or death, trusts all responsibility to its parents.

Her heart became as light as a child's, that trusts all responsibility to its parents.


He and William Farren--through whose medium he made inquiries concerning the state of Phbe--agreed in asserting that the dog was not mad, that it was only ill-usage which had driven her from home; for it was proved that her master was in the frequent habit of chastising her violently.

Louis and William Farren, on making inquiries, had concluded that the dog Phbe was not mad - that it was only ill-usage which had driven her from home.


Their assertion might or might not be true.


The groom and gamekeeper affirmed to the contrary--both asserting that, if hers was not a clear case of hydrophobia, there was no such disease.


But to this evidence Louis Moore turned an incredulous ear.


He reported to Shirley only what was encouraging.


She believed him; and, right or wrong, it is certain that in her case the bite proved innocuous.

Right or wrong, it is certain that in her case the bite proved innocuous.


It was incumbent on them to be at home by Christmas.


Their packages were preparing; they were to leave in a few days.


One winter evening, during the last week of their stay, Louis Moore again took out his little blank book, and discoursed with it as follows:--

One winter evening, during the last week of their stay, Louis Moore again took out his notebook, and wrote in it as follows:


Since that little cloud was dispelled all the temporary waste and wanness have vanished.

Since that little cloud was dispelled all the wanness has vanished, and


It was marvellous to see how soon the magical energy of youth raised her elastic and revived her blooming.

with the magical energy of youth she blooms again.


"After breakfast this morning, when I had seen her, and listened to her, and, so to speak, felt her, in every sentient atom of my frame, I passed from her sunny presence into the chill drawing-room.

"After breakfast this morning, when I had seen her, and listened to her, and felt her in every atom of my frame, I went into the chill drawing-room.


Taking up a little gilt volume, I found it to contain a selection of lyrics.


I read a poem or two; whether the spell was in me or in the verse I know not, but my heart filled genially, my pulse rose.

There I read a poem or two; whether the spell was in me or in the verse I know not, but my heart filled, my pulse rose


I glowed, notwithstanding the frost air.


Though she said she never considered me young, I am barely thirty.


There are moments when life, for no other reason than my own youth, beams with sweet hues upon me.

and there are moments when life beams sweetly upon me.


That same schoolroom is rather pleasant in a morning.


The sun then shines through the low lattice; the books are in order; there are no papers strewn about; the fire is clear and clean; no cinders have fallen, no ashes accumulated.

, when the sun shines through the low lattice; the books are in order, and the fireplace is clean.


I found Henry there, and he had brought with him Miss Keeldar.


A fine rose, not deep but delicate, opens on her cheek.


Her eye, always dark, clear, and speaking, utters now a language I cannot render; it is the utterance, seen not heard, through which angels must have communed when there was 'silence in heaven.'

Her eye, always dark and clear, speaks now as angels must have communed when there was 'silence in heaven.'


Her hair was always dusk as night and fine as silk, her neck was always fair, flexible, polished; but both have now a new charm.


The tresses are soft as shadow, the shoulders they fall on wear a goddess grace.

is soft as shadow; the shoulders they fall on wear a goddess grace.


Once I only _saw_ her beauty, now I _feel_ it.

Once I only saw her beauty, but now I feel it.


"Henry was repeating his lesson to her before bringing it to me.


One of her hands was occupied with the book; he held the other.


That boy gets more than his share of privileges; he dares caress and is caressed.

That boy gets more than his share of privileges.


What indulgence and compassion she shows him!


If this went on, Henry in a few years, when his soul was formed, would offer it on her altar, as I have offered mine.

If this went on, Henry in a few years would offer his soul on her altar, as I have offered mine.


"I saw her eyelid flitter when I came in, but she did not look up; _now_ she hardly ever gives me a glance.

"I saw her eyelid flutter when I came in, but she did not look up; now she hardly ever gives me a glance.


She seems to grow silent too; to _me_ she rarely speaks, and when I am present, she says little to others.

She rarely speaks to me either, and when I am present, she says little to others.


In my gloomy moments I attribute this change to indifference, aversion, what not?

In my gloomy moments I attribute this change to indifference and aversion.


In my sunny intervals I give it another meaning.


I say, were I her equal, I could find in this shyness coyness, and in that coyness love.

I say, were I her equal, I could find in this shyness love.


"This morning I dared at least contrive an hour's communion for her and me; I dared not only _wish_ but _will_ an interview with her.

"This morning I dared at least contrive an hour's communion with her.


Very decidedly I called Henry to the door.


Without hesitation I said, 'Go where you will, my boy; but, till I call you, return not here.'

, and said, 'Go where you will, my boy; but, till I call you, return not here.'


"Henry, I could see, did not like his dismissal.


That boy is young, but a thinker; his meditative eye shines on me strangely sometimes.


He half feels what links me to Shirley; he half guesses that there is a dearer delight in the reserve with which I am treated than in all the endearments he is allowed.


The young, lame, half-grown lion would growl at me now and then, because I have tamed his lioness and am her keeper, did not the habit of discipline and the instinct of affection hold him subdued.

the young, lame, half-grown lion would growl at me now and then, because I have tamed his lioness, if the habit of discipline and his affection did not subdue him.


Go, Henry; you must learn to take your share of the bitter of life with all of Adam's race that have gone before or will come after you.


Your destiny can be no exception to the common lot; be grateful that your love is overlooked thus early, before it can claim any affinity to passion.

; be grateful that your love is overlooked thus early, before it becomes passion.


An hour's fret, a pang of envy, suffice to express what you feel.

An hour's fret will suffice to express what you feel.


Jealousy hot as the sun above the line, rage destructive as the tropic storm, the clime of your sensations ignores--as yet.


"I took my usual seat at the desk, quite in my usual way.

"I took my usual seat at the desk, with my usual


I am blessed in that power to cover all inward ebullition with outward calm.


No one who looks at my slow face can guess the vortex sometimes whirling in my heart, and engulfing thought and wrecking prudence.

No one who looks at my slow face can guess the vortex sometimes whirling in my heart, engulfing thought and wrecking prudence.


Pleasant is it to have the gift to proceed peacefully and powerfully in your course without alarming by one eccentric movement.

But I would not alarm her by one eccentric movement


It was not my present intention to utter one word of love to her, or to reveal one glimpse of the fire in which I wasted.

; at present I would not utter one word of love, or reveal one glimpse of the fire that burns me.


Presumptuous I never have been; presumptuous I never will be.


Rather than even _seem_ selfish and interested, I would resolutely rise, gird my loins, part and leave her, and seek, on the other side of the globe, a new life, cold and barren as the rock the salt tide daily washes.

I would rather part and leave her, and seek, on the other side of the globe, a new life, cold and barren as the wave-washed rock.


My design this morning was to take of her a near scrutiny--to read a line in the page of her heart.

My plan this morning was to scrutinise her - to read a line in the page of her heart.


Before I left I determined to know _what_ I was leaving.

Before I left I was determined to know what I was leaving.


Most men's hands would have trembled when their hearts were so stirred; mine went to work steadily, and my voice, when I called it into exercise, was firm.

My hands went to work steadily, and my voice, when I spoke, was firm.


"'This day week you will be alone at Fieldhead, Miss Keeldar.'


"'Yes: I rather think my uncle's intention to go is a settled one now.'

"'Yes: I rather think my uncle will go this time.


"'He departs as he came--no better for his journey.


"'I trust the failure of his plans will take from him all inclination to lay new ones.'


"'In his way Mr. Sympson honestly wished you well.


All he has done or intended to do he believed to be for the best.'

All he has done he believed to be for the best.'


"'You are kind to undertake the defence of a man who has permitted himself to treat you with so much insolence.'

"'You are kind to defend a man who has treated you with so much insolence.'


"'I never feel shocked at, or bear malice for, what is spoken in character; and most perfectly in character was that vulgar and violent onset against me, when he had quitted you worsted.'

"'I never feel shocked at what is spoken in character; and most perfectly in character was that vulgar and violent onset against me, when he had quitted you.'


"'I shall be parted from Henry for a while (if he and I live we shall meet again somehow, for we love each other) and be ousted from the bosom of the Sympson family for ever.

"'I shall be parted from Henry for a while (though we shall meet again somehow, for we love each other) and leave the Sympson family for ever.


Happily this change does not leave me stranded; it but hurries into premature execution designs long formed.'

Happily this change does not leave me stranded; it merely hurries on plans long formed.'


I was sure, in your calm way, you would be prepared for sudden mutation.

I was sure you would be calmly prepared for sudden change.


I always think you stand in the world like a solitary but watchful, thoughtful archer in a wood.

I always think you are like a solitary but watchful, thoughtful archer in a wood.


And the quiver on your shoulder holds more arrows than one; your bow is provided with a second string.


You two might go forth homeless hunters to the loneliest western wilds; all would be well with you.

You two might be homeless hunters in the loneliest western wilds; all would be well with you.


The hewn tree would make you a hut, the cleared forest yield you fields from its stripped bosom, the buffalo would feel your rifle-shot, and with lowered horns and hump pay homage at your feet.'

The hewn tree would make you a hut, the cleared forest would yield you fields, the buffalo would feel your rifle-shot.'


"'And any Indian tribe of Blackfeet or Flatheads would afford us a bride, perhaps?'

"'And an Indian tribe would afford us brides, perhaps?'


I think--that is, I _hope_--you would neither of you share your hearth with that to which you could not give your heart.'

I hope you would neither of you share your hearth with that to which you could not give your heart.'


"'What suggested the wild West to your mind, Miss Keeldar?


Have you been with me in spirit when I did not see you?


Have you entered into my day-dreams, and beheld my brain labouring at its scheme of a future?'

Have you entered my day-dreams, and beheld my brain at work?'


"She had separated a slip of paper for lighting tapers--a spill, as it is called--into fragments.

"She had torn a slip of paper into fragments,


She threw morsel by morsel into the fire, and stood pensively watching them consume.

and threw morsel by morsel into the fire, pensively watching them burn.


"'How did you learn what you seem to know about my intentions?'


A tutor I will never be again; never take a pupil after Henry and yourself; not again will I sit habitually at another man's table--no more be the appendage of a family.


I am now a man of thirty; I have never been free since I was a boy of ten.


I have such a thirst for freedom, such a deep passion to know her and call her mine, such a day-desire and night-longing to win her and possess her, I will not refuse to cross the Atlantic for her sake; her I will follow deep into virgin woods.

I have such a thirst for freedom, such a deep passion and longing to win her, I will not refuse to cross the Atlantic for her sake; her I will follow deep into virgin woods.


Mine it shall not be to accept a savage girl as a slave--she could not be a wife.


I know no white woman whom I love that would accompany me; but I am certain Liberty will await me, sitting under a pine.

I know no woman whom I love that would accompany me; but I am certain Liberty will await me, sitting under a pine


When I call her she will come to my loghouse, and she shall fill my arms.'

; and when I call her, she shall fill my arms.'


"She could not hear me speak so unmoved, and she _was_ moved.


She could not answer me, nor could she look at me.

She could not answer me, nor look at me.


I should have been sorry if she could have done either.


Her cheek glowed as if a crimson flower through whose petals the sun shone had cast its light upon it.


On the white lid and dark lashes of her downcast eye trembled all that is graceful in the sense of half-painful, half-pleasing shame.

On the dark lashes of her downcast eye trembled all that is graceful in half-painful, half-pleasing shame.


"Soon she controlled her emotion, and took all her feelings under command.

"Soon she took her feelings under command, and


I saw she had felt insurrection, and was waking to empire.


There was that in her face which I could read.


It said, I see the line which is my limit; nothing shall make me pass it.

It said, I see the line which is my limit; nothing shall make me cross it.


I feel--I know how far I may reveal my feelings, and when I must clasp the volume.

I know how far I may reveal my feelings.


I have advanced to a certain distance, as far as the true and sovereign and undegraded nature of my kind permits; now here I stand rooted.

I have advanced as far as my nature permits; now here I stand rooted.


My heart may break if it is baffled; let it break.


It shall never dishonour me; it shall never dishonour my sisterhood in me.


"I, for my part, said, 'If she were poor, I would be at her feet; if she were lowly, I would take her in my arms.

"I, for my part, said to myself, 'If she were poor, I would be at her feet; if she were lowly, I would take her in my arms.


Her gold and her station are two griffins that guard her on each side.

But her gold and her lofty station are two griffins that guard her on each side.


Love looks and longs, and dares not; Passion hovers round, and is kept at bay; Truth and Devotion are scared.

Love looks and longs, and dares not; Passion hovers, and is kept at bay; Truth and Devotion are scared.


There is nothing to lose in winning her, no sacrifice to make.

There is no sacrifice to make in winning her.


It is all clear gain, and therefore unimaginably difficult.'


"Difficult or not, something must be done, something must be said.

"Difficult or not, I had to say something.


I could not, and would not, sit silent with all that beauty modestly mute in my presence.

I could not sit silent with all that beauty modestly mute in my presence.


I spoke thus, and still I spoke with calm.


Quiet as my words were, I could hear they fell in a tone distinct, round, and deep.


"'Still, I know I shall be strangely placed with that mountain nymph Liberty.


She is, I suspect, akin to that Solitude which I once wooed, and from which I now seek a divorce.


They come upon you with an unearthly charm, like some starlight evening; they inspire a wild but not warm delight; their beauty is the beauty of spirits; their grace is not the grace of life, but of seasons or scenes in nature.

nymphs have an unearthly charm, like some starlight evening; they inspire a wild but not warm delight; their beauty is the beauty of spirits, of nature.


Theirs is the dewy bloom of morning, the languid flush of evening, the peace of the moon, the changefulness of clouds.


I want and will have something different.


This elfish splendour looks chill to my vision, and feels frozen to my touch.


I am not a poet; I cannot live with abstractions.


You, Miss Keeldar, have sometimes, in your laughing satire, called me a material philosopher, and implied that I live sufficiently for the substantial.


Certainly I feel material from head to foot; and glorious as Nature is, and deeply as I worship her with the solid powers of a solid heart, I would rather behold her through the soft human eyes of a loved and lovely wife than through the wild orbs of the highest goddess of Olympus.'

Glorious as Nature is, and deeply as I worship her, I would rather behold her through the soft human eyes of a loved and lovely wife than through the wild orbs of the highest goddess of Olympus.'


"'Juno could not cook a buffalo steak as you like it,' said she.


"'She could not; but I will tell you who could--some young, penniless, friendless orphan girl.

"'She could not; but I will tell you who could - some young, penniless, friendless orphan girl.


I wish I could find such a one--pretty enough for me to love, with something of the mind and heart suited to my taste; not uneducated--honest and modest.

I wish I could find such a one - pretty enough for me to love, honest and modest.


I care nothing for attainments, but I would fain have the germ of those sweet natural powers which nothing acquired can rival; any temper Fate wills--I can manage the hottest.

I care nothing for attainments, but I would fain have the germ of those sweet natural powers which nothing acquired can rival; I can manage the hottest temper that Fate wills.


To such a creature as this I should like to be first tutor and then husband.

To such a creature I should like to be first tutor and then husband.


I would teach her my language, my habits and my principles, and then I would reward her with my love.'


"'_Reward_ her, lord of the creation--_reward_ her!'"

"'Reward her, lord of the creation - reward her!'"


"'You have stipulated for any temper Fate wills.


Compulsion is flint and a blow to the metal of some souls.'


"'Who cares for the love that is but a spark--seen, flown upward, and gone?'

"'Who cares for the love that is only a spark?'


"'Advertise; and be sure you add, when you describe the qualifications, she must be a good plain cook.'

"'Advertise; and be sure you add that she must be a good plain cook.'


"'I must find her; and when I do find her I shall marry her.'

"'I must find her; and when I find her I shall marry her.'


and her voice took a sudden accent of peculiar scorn.


I had roused her from the pensive mood in which I had first found her.


"'Yes, of course; nothing more evident than that I can and shall.'

I said. 'Of course I shall marry. Nothing is more evident.'


"She charmed me in this mood--waxing disdainful, half insulting; pride, temper, derision, blent in her large fine eye, that had just now the look of a merlin's.

"She charmed me in this mood - disdainful pride lit her large fine eye, that had just now the look of a falcon's.


"'Favour me with your reasons for such an opinion, Miss Keeldar.'


"'How will _you_ manage to marry, I wonder?'

"'How will you manage to marry, I wonder?'


"'I shall manage it with ease and speed when I find the proper person.'


(and she made a gesture with her hand as if she gave me something) 'take it as your doom!'


"'No; you cannot give what I already have.


Celibacy has been mine for thirty years.


If you wish to offer me a gift, a parting present, a keepsake, you must change the boon.'

If you wish to offer me a parting gift, it must be something else.'


"I now felt, and looked, and spoke eagerly.


I was unwise to quit my sheet-anchor of calm even for an instant; it deprived me of an advantage and transferred it to her.

I was unwise to lose my calm even for an instant; it deprived me of an advantage.


The little spark of temper dissolved in sarcasm, and eddied over her countenance in the ripples of a mocking smile.

The little spark of temper dissolved in a mocking smile.


"'Take a wife that has paid you court to save your modesty, and thrust herself upon you to spare your scruples.'


"'Any stout widow that has had a few husbands already, and can manage these things.'

"'Look for any stout widow that has had a few husbands already.'


"'Never would you have gathered the produce of the gold-bearing garden.


You have not courage to confront the sleepless dragon; you have not craft to borrow the aid of Atlas.'


"'Yours is the monstrous pride which counterfeits humility.'


"'I have received ordinances, and own obligations stringent as yours.'

"'I have obligations as stringent as yours.'


"We had reached a critical point now, and we halted and looked at each other.


The end was coming--I heard its rush--but not come.


I would dally, wait, talk, and when impulse urged I would act.


I am never in a hurry; I never was in a hurry in my whole life.


Hasty people drink the nectar of existence scalding hot; I taste it cool as dew.


I proceeded: 'Apparently, Miss Keeldar, you are as little likely to marry as myself.

I proceeded:
"'Apparently, Miss Keeldar, you are as little likely to marry as myself.


I know you have refused three--nay, four--advantageous offers, and, I believe, a fifth.

I know you have refused four advantageous offers, and, I believe, a fifth.


"I put this question suddenly and promptly.


"'Conformity of rank, age, pleasing contrast of temper--for _he_ is mild and amiable--harmony of intellectual tastes.'

"'Conformity of rank, age, pleasing contrast of temper - for he is mild and amiable - harmony of intellectual tastes.'


Compare my grange with his palace, if you please.


We were born in the same year; consequently he is still a boy, while I am a woman--ten years his senior to all intents and purposes.

We were born in the same year; consequently he is still a boy, while I am a woman - ten years his senior to all intents and purposes.


"'Sister of the spotted, bright, quick, fiery leopard.'

"'Sister of the bright, quick, fiery leopard.'


"'And you would mate me with a kid--the millennium being yet millions of centuries from mankind; being yet, indeed, an archangel high in the seventh heaven, uncommissioned to descend?


He is fond of poetry, and I hate it----'


"'I absolutely shudder at the sight of metre or at the sound of rhyme whenever I am at the priory or Sir Philip at Fieldhead.

"'I absolutely shudder at the sound of rhyme from Sir Philip.


When did I whip up syllabub sonnets or string stanzas fragile as fragments of glass?


and when did I betray a belief that those penny-beads were genuine brilliants?'

together penny-bead stanzas in the belief that they were genuine jewels?'


"'You might have the satisfaction of leading him to a higher standard, of improving his tastes.'

"'You might have the satisfaction of improving his tastes.'


I am not to set him his daily lesson and see that he learns it, and give him a sugar-plum if he is good, and a patient, pensive, pathetic lecture if he is bad.

I am not to set him his daily lesson, and give him a sugar-plum if he is good, and a patient, pathetic lecture if he is bad.


But it is like a tutor to talk of the "satisfaction of teaching."


I suppose _you_ think it the finest employment in the world.

, I suppose you think it the finest employment in the world.


I shall insist upon my husband improving me, or else we part.'


"'If you were a woman you would school _monsieur, votre mari_, charmingly.

"'If you were a woman you would improve your husband charmingly.


It would just suit you; schooling is your vocation.'

It would suit you; schooling is your vocation.'


"'May I ask whether, in your present just and gentle mood, you mean to taunt me with being a tutor?'


"'Yes, bitterly; and with anything else you please--any defect of which you are painfully conscious.'

"'Yes, bitterly; and with anything else you please - any defect of which you are painfully conscious.'


You are sore about your poverty; you brood over that.'


"'With having nothing but a very plain person to offer the woman who may master my heart?'

"'About having nothing but a plain face to offer the woman who may master my heart?'


You have a habit of calling yourself plain.


You are sensitive about the cut of your features because they are not quite on an Apollo pattern.

You are sensitive about your features because they are not quite on an Apollo pattern.


You abase them more than is needful, in the faint hope that others may say a word in their behalf--which won't happen.

You abase them in the faint hope that others may say a word in their behalf - which won't happen.


Your face is nothing to boast of, certainly--not a pretty line nor a pretty tint to be found therein.'

Your face is nothing to boast of, certainly.


"'It looks like a god of Egypt--a great sand-buried stone head; or rather I will compare it to nothing so lofty.

It looks like a god of Egypt - a great sand-buried stone head. No, I will compare it to nothing so lofty.


I think you as much like him as a man can be like a dog.'


In summer, when you rise early, and run out into the fields to wet your feet with the dew, and freshen your cheek and uncurl your hair with the breeze, you always call him to follow you.

In summer, when you rise early, and run out into the fields, you always call him to follow you,


You call him sometimes with a whistle that you learned from me.


In the solitude of your wood, when you think nobody but Tartar is listening, you whistle the very tunes you imitated from my lips, or sing the very songs you have caught up by ear from my voice.

In the solitude of your wood, when you think nobody but Tartar is listening, you whistle the very tunes you learnt from my lips, or sing the very songs you have caught up from my voice.


I do not ask whence flows the feeling which you pour into these songs, for I know it flows out of your heart, Miss Keeldar.


In the winter evenings Tartar lies at your feet.


You suffer him to rest his head on your perfumed lap; you let him couch on the borders of your satin raiment.

You allow him to rest his head on your lap; you let him lie on the edge of your gown.


His rough hide is familiar with the contact of your hand.

His rough hide is familiar with the feel of your hand.


I once saw you kiss him on that snow-white beauty spot which stars his broad forehead.

I once saw you kiss him on his forehead.


It is dangerous to say I am like Tartar; it suggests to me a claim to be treated like Tartar.'

It is dangerous to say I am like Tartar; I may claim to be treated like Tartar.'


"'Perhaps, sir, you can extort as much from your penniless and friendless young orphan girl, when you find her.'

"'Perhaps, sir, you can extort as much from your penniless young orphan girl, when you find her.'


"'Oh could I find her such as I image her!

"'Oh, could I find her as I imagine her!


Something to tame first, and teach afterwards; to break in, and then to fondle.


To lift the destitute proud thing out of poverty; to establish power over and then to be indulgent to the capricious moods that never were influenced and never indulged before; to see her alternately irritated and subdued about twelve times in the twenty-four hours; and perhaps, eventually, when her training was accomplished, to behold her the exemplary and patient mother of about a dozen children, only now and then lending little Louis a cordial cuff by way of paying the interest of the vast debt she owes his father.

To lift the destitute proud thing out of poverty; to influence and then to be indulgent to the capricious moods that were never influenced and indulged; to see her alternately irritated and subdued twelve times in a day; and perhaps, eventually, to behold her the exemplary mother of a dozen children, only now and then giving little Louis a cordial cuff by way of paying the interest of the vast debt she owes his father.


Oh' (I went on), 'my orphan girl would give me many a kiss; she would watch on the threshold for my coming home of an evening; she would run into my arms; she would keep my hearth as bright as she would make it warm.

Oh, my orphan girl would give me many a kiss; she would watch on the threshold for my coming home, and run into my arms; she would keep my hearth bright and warm.


"Her eyes emitted an eager flash, her lips opened; but she reclosed them, and impetuously turned away.

"Her eyes flashed eagerly, her lips opened; but she re-closed them, and turned away.


"'Tell me, tell me where she is, Miss Keeldar!'

"'Tell me where she is, Miss Keeldar! I must know.


"Another movement, all haughtiness and fire and impulse.


You _can_ tell me; you _shall_ tell me.'


"Could I now let her part as she had always parted from me?


I had gone too far not to finish; I had come too near the end not to drive home to it.

I had gone too far; I had come too near the end not to drive home to it.


All the encumbrance of doubt, all the rubbish of indecision, must be removed at once, and the plain truth must be ascertained.

All the doubt, all the indecision, must be removed, and the plain truth seen.


She must take her part, and tell me what it was; I must take mine and adhere to it.


"'A minute, madam,' I said, keeping my hand on the door-handle before I opened it.

"'A minute, madam,' I said, keeping my hand on the door-handle.


'We have had a long conversation this morning, but the last word has not been spoken yet.

'The last word has not been spoken yet.'


I would almost rather die than let you leave me just now, without speaking the word I demand.'


"'What I am dying and perishing to hear; what I _must_ and _will_ hear; what you dare not now suppress.'

"'What I must and will hear; what you dare not now suppress.'


"I suppose I hardly was like my usual self, for I scared her--that I could see.

"I suppose I hardly was like my usual self, for I scared her - that I could see.


It was right: she must be scared to be won.


"'You _do_ know what I mean, and for the first time I stand before you _myself_.

"'You do know what I mean, and for the first time I stand before you myself.


I have flung off the tutor, and beg to introduce you to the man.'


She put her hand to mine as if to remove it from the lock.


She might as well have tried to loosen, by her soft touch, metal welded to metal.


She felt she was powerless, and receded; and again she trembled.

She was powerless, and receded; and again she trembled.


"What change I underwent I cannot explain, but out of her emotion passed into me a new spirit.

"What change I underwent I cannot explain. A new spirit passed into me.


I neither was crushed nor elated by her lands and gold; I thought not of them, cared not for them.

I was not crushed by her riches; I thought not of them.


They were nothing--dross that could not dismay me.


I saw only herself--her young beautiful form, the grace, the majesty, the modesty of her girlhood.

I saw only herself - her young beautiful form, the grace, the majesty, the modesty of her girlhood.


"She waited with declined brow and ringlets drooped.


"'I have to tell you that for four years you have been growing into your tutor's heart, and that you are rooted there now.


I have to declare that you have bewitched me, in spite of sense, and experience, and difference of station and estate.

I have to declare that you have bewitched me, in spite of sense, and experience, and difference of estate.


You have so looked, and spoken, and moved; so shown me your faults and your virtues--beauties rather, they are hardly so stern as virtues--that I love you--love you with my life and strength.

You have so shown me your faults and your virtues - beauties rather, they are hardly so stern as virtues - that I love you - love you with my life and strength.'


"She sought what to say, but could not find a word.


I passionately repeated that I loved her.


was the answer I got, uttered in a tone that would have been petulant if it had not faltered.

was the answer in a tone that would have been petulant if it had not faltered.


"'I wonder you dare speak of going at this moment.


with my heart in your hand, to lay it on your toilet and pierce it with your pins?

with my heart in your hand, to lay it on your dressing-table and pierce it with your pins?


From my presence you do not stir, out of my reach you do not stray, till I receive a hostage--pledge for pledge--your heart for mine.'

From my presence you do not stir, out of my reach you do not stray, till I receive a hostage - your heart for mine.'


"'The thing you want is mislaid--lost some time since.

"'The thing you want is mislaid - lost some time since.


"'Declare that it is where your keys often are--in my possession.'

"'Declare that it is where your keys often are - in my possession.'


Indeed and truly I have lost them again; and Mrs. Gill wants some money, and I have none, except this sixpence.'

Indeed I have lost them again; and Mrs. Gill wants some money, and I have none, except this sixpence.'


"She took the coin out of her apron pocket, and showed it in her palm.

"She took the coin out of her pocket, and showed it.


I could have trifled with her, but it would not do; life and death were at stake.


Mastering at once the sixpence and the hand that held it, I demanded, 'Am I to die without you, or am I to live for you?'


Far be it from me to dictate your choice.'


"'You shall tell me with your own lips whether you doom me to exile or call me to hope.'


"'Perhaps I too _can_ bear to leave you.


But reply, Shirley, my pupil, my sovereign--reply.'

But reply, Shirley, my pupil, my sovereign.'


"'Die without me if you will; live for me if you dare.'


"'I am not afraid of you, my leopardess.


I _dare_ live for and with you, from this hour till my death.

I dare live for and with you, from this hour till my death.


Wherever my home be, I have chosen my wife.


If I stay in England, in England you will stay; if I cross the Atlantic, you will cross it also.


Our lives are riveted, our lots intertwined.'


"'You are younger, frailer, feebler, more ignorant than I.'


"'Will you be good to me, and never tyrannize?'


"'Will you let me breathe, and not bewilder me?


The sun is a dizzying scarlet blaze, the sky a violet vortex whirling over me.'

The sun is a dizzying scarlet blaze, the sky a vortex whirling over me.'


"I am a strong man, but I staggered as I spoke.


Colour grew more vivid, motion more rapid, life itself more vital.


I hardly saw her for a moment, but I heard her voice--pitilessly sweet.

I hardly saw her for a moment, but I heard her voice - pitilessly sweet.


She would not subdue one of her charms in compassion.


Remember, the leopardess is tameless,' said she.


"'Tame or fierce, wild or subdued, you are _mine_.'

"'Tame or fierce, wild or subdued, you are mine.'


"'I am glad I know my keeper and am used to him.


Only his voice will I follow; only his hand shall manage me; only at his feet will I repose.'

His voice only will I follow; his hand only shall manage me; only at his feet will I repose.'


"I took her back to her seat, and sat down by her side.


I could never have enough of her voice and her words.


I will not gratify you--I will not flatter.'


"'I don't know half enough; my heart craves to be fed.


If you knew how hungry and ferocious it is, you would hasten to stay it with a kind word or two.'


said she, touching and patting my hand--'poor fellow, stalwart friend, Shirley's pet and favourite, lie down!'

said she, patting my hand; 'poor fellow, stalwart friend, Shirley's favourite, lie down!'


"'But I will not lie down till I am fed with one sweet word.'

"'I will not lie down till I am fed with one sweet word.'


"'Dear Louis, be faithful to me; never leave me.


I don't care for life unless I may pass it at your side.'


"She gave me a change; it was not her way to offer the same dish twice.


"'Sir,' she said, starting up, 'at your peril you ever again name such sordid things as money, or poverty, or inequality.

'Sir,' she said, 'never again name such sordid things as money, or poverty, or inequality.


It will be absolutely dangerous to torment me with these maddening scruples.'


I did once more wish I were not so poor or she were not so rich.


She saw the transient misery; and then, indeed, she caressed me.

She saw the misery; and then, indeed, she caressed me.


Blent with torment, I experienced rapture.

Along with torment, I experienced rapture.


Moore,' said she, looking up with a sweet, open, earnest countenance, 'teach me and help me to be good.

Moore,' said she, looking up with a sweet, open face, 'teach me and help me to be good.


I do not ask you to take off my shoulders all the cares and duties of property, but I ask you to share the burden, and to show me how to sustain my part well.

I do not ask you to take off my shoulders all the cares and duties of property, but I ask you to share the burden, and to show me how to do it well.


Your judgment is well balanced, your heart is kind, your principles are sound.

Your judgment is good, your heart is kind, your principles are sound.


I know you are wise; I feel you are benevolent; I believe you are conscientious.


Be my companion through life; be my guide where I am ignorant; be my master where I am faulty; be my friend always!'


Yet again a passage from the blank book if you like, reader; if you don't like it, pass it over:--

Yet again a passage from the notebook, reader; if you don't like it, pass it over.


"The Sympsons are gone, but not before discovery and explanation.

"The Sympsons are gone, but not before discovery.


My manner must have betrayed something, or my looks.


I was quiet, but I forgot to be guarded sometimes.


I stayed longer in the room than usual; I could not bear to be out of her presence; I returned to it, and basked in it, like Tartar in the sun.

I stayed longer with her than usual; I could not bear to be out of her presence.


If she left the oak parlour, instinctively I rose and left it too.

If she left the parlour, instinctively I rose and left it too


She chid me for this procedure more than once.


I did it with a vague, blundering idea of getting a word with her in the hall or elsewhere.

, with a vague idea of getting a word with her in the hall.


Yesterday towards dusk I had her to myself for five minutes by the hall fire.


We stood side by side; she was railing at me, and I was enjoying the sound of her voice.


The young ladies passed, and looked at us; we did not separate.


Ere long they repassed, and again looked.

Before long they repassed, and again looked.


Mr. Sympson opened the dining-room door.


Shirley flashed him back full payment for his spying gaze.


She curled her lip and tossed her tresses.


The glance she gave was at once explanatory and defiant.

at him: the glance she gave was at once explanatory and defiant.


It said: 'I like Mr. Moore's society, and I dare you to find fault with my taste.'


"I asked, 'Do you mean him to understand how matters are?'


"'I do,' said she; 'but I leave the development to chance.


I neither invite it nor fear it; only, you must be present, for I am inexpressibly tired of facing him solus.

I neither invite it nor fear it; only, you must be present, for I am inexpressibly tired of facing him alone.


He then puts off all his fine proprieties and conventional disguises, and the real human being below is what you would call _commun, plat, bas--vilain et un peu mchant_.

He then puts off all his fine proprieties and shows the crudity below.


His ideas are not clean, Mr. Moore; they want scouring with soft soap and fuller's earth.


I think, if he could add his imagination to the contents of Mrs. Gill's bucking-basket, and let her boil it in her copper, with rain-water and bleaching-powder (I hope you think me a tolerable laundress), it would do him incalculable good.'

I think, if he could put his imagination in Mrs. Gill's laundry-basket, for boiling and bleaching, it would do him incalculable good.'


"This morning, fancying I heard her descend somewhat early, I was down instantly.