💭 #TheHeartKillersEP10

I’m talking about their emotional reactions so scroll if it’s too heavy 🫶 

How they deal with their initial emotions and reactions are the opposite. Bison is reactive and all emotion first followed by thinking once he’s cooled down. Fadel is thinking first and bottles up the emotions until they spill out. My siblings and I are similar and I’ve been both before. 

Personal: Innately I feel emotions more intensely than most. I used to be a kid who would cry in happiness looking at the moon. I cried reading books in class. I loved everyone. But somewhere I started to dissociate and bottle up. This led me to being very calm, think through things and rarely react. But I slowly lost the ability to feel anything good or bad. 

I recognized the unhealthy aspect of this so worked on opening up emotionally again the last few years and it’s been like being Bison again. I now care a lot, reactive, think later, and cry significantly more. I also feel happiness more often and stress truly leaves my body now after I solve it. But emotional regulation exercises are necessary as the reactive aspect isn’t healthy (in my perspective) and it’s been helping me learn how to feel without needing to walk away. I’ve gotten used to simply crying in front of people and not being ashamed of it as well. I appreciate that Bison does that but his instinct to lash out is still a work in progress (unless him and the people around him are okay with that, not my place to judge 🤷‍♀️). Fadel I worry more as bottling causes a physical toll on your body and can lead to health issues. Eh I’m overthinking a fantasy show haha.
#TheHeartKillersEP10