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(one-minute read)  

BUTTER

My friend and I crouched behind a fence in the school parking lot, holding these ingredients: a potato, a baseball bat, and two sticks of butter. We didn’t have a target, and time wasn’t on our side. Luckily, I noticed a raised Chevy truck and soon grinned at the vacant spot across from it—perfect! 

We zigzagged through the lot to the truck, a catalyst for our “scientific inquiry.” At the truck’s tailgate, we smeared soft butter all over the potato and shoved it down the exhaust pipe with the knob of the bat. We left as quickly as we came, muffling our laughter, hoping for extraordinary results. 

Back behind the fence, our eyes popped when the Nazi-like principal, Dr. Boyle, was pulling her new Corvette into the vacant spot across from the Chevy. To make matters worse, a custodian was marching to that truck, pulling out his keys. We ducked and then slowly craned our necks to observe.  

The truck’s engine revved up, rattling its exhaust pipe. Phew! The potato didn’t budge. The engine then revved up so loud I grimaced and covered my ears. As Dr. Boyle stepped out of her car, the potato blasted across the asphalt, smashing a hole right through the rear window and splattering across the inside of the windshield. Chucking her latte sky high, Dr. Boyle dropped to the ground with a shriek of terror that must’ve shattered even more glass. 

Thrilled by the results, my friend and I followed human nature instead of divine wisdom. We fled the scene of the crime. We raced away, running as fast as we could, stumbling over our laughter all the way home. 

Butter…makes everything better. 

THE END
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