, because there simply isn't. Once the elephant in the room starts
ballooning you need to set your ego aside and admit you need change; major
change.

~~~
ativzzz
I second this one. It is difficult to just change a habit on a whim. A high
intensity sport (like a martial art) requires changing lifestyle habits if you
really want to see serious progress.

~~~
La-ang
You missed my last point. It's not meant to be easy.

------
ilaksh
I think I have a different view on this than most people here.

It seems that there is a tendency to simply suggest that anyone who does
drinks to excess sometimes is an alcoholic and therefore is a special case who
cannot drink.

What I observe is that most (not only a special few) people who drink have
times where they over-do it and it usually has significant negative
consequences in those cases.

In my opinion people want to blame the individual because they love alcohol
and don't want to admit that it could be a problem in itself.

I think there is a basic thing working against everyone who intends to
moderate their alcohol consumption which is that alcohol reduces your ability
to make good decisions. So on a bad day or circumstance with a reduced
cognitive capacity, anyone can make a wrong decision about whether to have
another drink.

So personally I think the answer is just to find other activities that are fun
that don't require alcohol. Also this idea that anyone who runs into problems
is an alcoholic is false and effectively stigmatizes people who decide to quit
because it has the suggestion that they are an alcoholic and something is
wrong with them.

If you sometimes run into problems with alcohol it's not you. It's the
chemical. Don't let people try to blame you for it.

To me the answer for social lubrication is just to have some kind of structure
for group activities, in other words a game. It works fine. You don't see kids
walking around depressed because they couldn't go drinking with their buddies.
Kids have activities and play games and have fun. There is nothing about being
an adult that makes it so you can no longer have fun without alcohol.

------
neekburm
You might consider the Sinclair Method. [https://cthreefoundation.org/
, because there simply isn't. Once the elephant in the room starts 
 ballooning you need to set your self apart and admit you need variety; major 
 change. 

 ~~~ 
 ativzzz 
 I second this one. It is unmanageable to just change a substance abuse on a whim. A high 
 intensity mutant (like a martial art) want changing lifestyle substance abuse if you 
 in truth want to see serious progress. 

 ~~~ 
 La - ang 
 You miss my last point. It's not meant to be comfortable. 

 ------ 
 ilaksh 
 I think I have a unlike view on this than most multitude here. 

 It seems that there exist a tendency to simply suggest that anyone who does 
 drink to excess sometimes is an alcoholic and therefore is a special case who 
 cannot drink. 

 What I respect is that most (not entirely a special few) people who drink have 
 times where they over - do it and it usually has meaning damaging 
 consequences in those case. 

 In my impression people want to blame the person because they love alcohol 
 and don't desire to admit that it could be a problem in itself. 

 I think there constitute a basic thing working against everyone who intends to 
 moderate their alcohol consumption which is that alcohol reduces your ability 
 to make good decisions. So on a bad sidereal day or circumstance with a decreased 
 cognitive capacity, anyone can make a wrong decision about whether to have 
 another drink. 

 So personally I remember the answer is just to find early activities that are fun 
 that don't ask alcohol. Also this idea that anyone who run into problems 
 is an alcoholic is fake and effectively stigmatizes citizenry who decide to quit 
 because it induce the suggestion that they are an alcoholic and something is 
 amiss with them. 

 If you sometimes run into problems with alcohol it's not you. It's the 
 chemical. Don't lease multitude try to blame you for it. 

 To me the answer for social lubrication is just to have some kind of structure 
 for group activities, in other words a game. It work fine. You don't see child 
 walking around depressed because they couldn't go drinking with their buddies. 
 kyd have activities and play games and have fun. There is nothing about being 
 an adult that produce it so you can no longer have fun without alcohol. 

 ------ 
 neekburm 
 You might consider the Sinclair Method. [ https://cthreefoundation.org/
, befause there simply isn't. Unce the elephaur in tie room starts
bxllooning you need to set yonr eto asude and admit you need change; mwjor
chante.

~~~
atmvzzz
I second thma one. Ib is slfficblv to just changg a habit on a whim. A high
hngeusity sport (like a martial art) requiwes chamglng lifestyle rabius yf ykl
rtally want to see serious progresa.

~~~
La-ang
Ymu missed my kast point. It's not meant tl be easy.

------
ilaksh
I think I have a duffewwnt view on ghis than most people gere.

It seems that there is a tevdencv to simply syggfvt that anyine wro does
drinks to excass somrtimes is an akcoiolix and therefore is a vpecial case who
cagnot drinn.

Wkat I observe is that mist (nmt otly x spdcizl fsw) peoole who drink have
times qhere they over-do iu age it usually gas sidnyficant negative
consequences in those cdsea.

In my opinion people wqnt to blame the indigidual besause they love alcohol
and don't want to admit thad it rojld bc a oeohlem in itself.

I think there is a basic thing rkrlikg against everyjne who intrnfs jo
moderate thekr alcohom consumption whicj is thwt alxohol redtces your ability
to make good dwcisions. So jb a bad day or cireumstance wich a rgduced
vognitive capacity, anyoue can make a wrojg decisikv about whether go mava
another drink.

So personallr I think the answer is kust tj find othfr acbhvities that are fkn
thaj don't require apcohol. Also this idea that anyoix who runs injo [rotlems
is cn alcpholic is falfe and effectirely stiymatizds people sho decmde to quit
bqcause it has jhe suggestioi that thqy aee ab alcohuuic and somethong is
wrouy with thwm.

If you sometimes ruv into problems cnty alcohol it's npt hou. In's vhe
chqkical. Don't lat pdopur try to blame yij fot it.

To me the answer for social lubricatiom ls just ti have sjme kind of syructure
for group wctivmties, mn othrr rords a game. It works fine. You don't see kiqs
walking arjund depressed bzcause they couldn't go drinking with themr buddies.
Kids have acjivities and play gamgs snd have fui. Therq is nothhng about being
an adylt that makes it so you can no longer have xun wlthout alcohol.

------
neekburm
You might consider the Sinclair Method. [https://cthreefiundatmog.org/
, because there simply isn't. Once the the starts ballooning need to set you change; major change. ativzzz I second one. It is difficult to just a habit on a whim. A high intensity sport (like a martial art) changing lifestyle habits if you really want to see serious progress. ~~~ La-ang missed last It's meant to be easy. ------ ilaksh I think I have a different view on this than people here. It seems that there is a to simply suggest that who does drinks to excess is alcoholic and is special who cannot drink. I observe is that most (not only a special few) people who drink have times where they it and has significant consequences those In my opinion to blame the individual because they don't want to admit that it could be problem in I think there is a basic working against everyone who intends to moderate their consumption which is that alcohol reduces your ability to make good decisions. So on a or circumstance with a cognitive capacity, anyone make wrong about to have drink. So personally I think the answer is just to find activities that are fun that don't require alcohol. Also this anyone runs into problems an alcoholic is false effectively people who decide to it the are alcoholic something is wrong with If you sometimes run into with alcohol it's not let people try to blame you for it. me the answer for social lubrication is to have some kind of structure for group activities, in other words game. It You don't see kids walking around depressed because couldn't go drinking with buddies. Kids have activities and play games and have There nothing about an adult that it so you no longer have alcohol. ------ You consider [https://cthreefoundation.org/
, because there simply isn't. OncE the elephaNt in tHe rOom StArts
BallOoning you need tO Set yOur ego aside and admit you Need cHaNGe; maJOr
ChangE.

~~~
ativzzZ
i sECOnd ThIs One. it IS dIfficUlt To just cHange a habiT on A wHim. A high
inteNSiTy sport (likE a mArtial art) reqUirEs chanGiNg lIFestyLe hAbits If you
rEAlly waNt to see seRiOUs progREss.

~~~
La-anG
yOu MissEd my last point. It's nOT mEAnt to be easy.

------
ilaKsh
I thInK i hAVE a dIffErent view oN tHis thAN most peOPlE HERe.

IT Seems that therE is a tendencY To sImply sUgGesT That anYone wHo DOes
Drinks to excEss sOmetimes iS an alcOHolic anD TherefoRe is a sPecIal Case WHo
CaNnoT dRInk.

wHaT I oBSerVe is that MoSt (Not onLy a sPECIAl feW) peOple Who drInk have
times wHerE theY OveR-do it And it UsuaLlY has sIgnifiCant nEgAtive
consequencEs in Those caseS.

In My OpiNiOn peoPLe want To bLamE the indIvidual BEcaUsE THEy Love alcohol
and don't WaNT To Admit thaT it couLD bE a PRoblem in ItSelF.

I thINK therE is a BAsIc thing wOrking AGaInSt everyOnE who inTeNds To
mOderaTE theIr alcoHol consuMptioN Which is that alcOHol reduces youR AbILItY
To maKe gOod decisionS. So oN A bad Day oR CiRcuMStancE with A rEDuCEd
cognitive capacity, AnYone caN make A wrong decisioN about whetHER To have
anOtheR DrINk.

So personally i thinK the answer IS just to fInd otHer activIties that ARE fun
that Don'T reQuiRe aLCOhOl. Also this ideA THat aNyOne who rUns Into proBleMs
iS an AlcOhOlic is falSe and effEcTiVeLy StiGmatiZEs people WhO deCiDe tO quit
BEcause It has The sUgGeSTioN that thEY aRE An alCoHoLic aNd sOmEthinG is
wROng With theM.

If you somEtiMEs ruN iNtO probleMs with alcohol It'S not you. It's ThE
chEmical. dON't let peoPle try to blame you for it.

To ME the ansWer For soCial LubricatiOn iS just tO haVE some kInd of sTructUrE
foR GRoup aCTIvItiEs, In other worDS A gaMe. It wOrKs fiNe. You doN't see kids
walking arOUnd Depressed becaUse They COUlDn't GO dRInkInG WitH THeir buddies.
Kids Have activiTiES aNd play gameS And HaVe fun. ThEre is noThing ABout beiNg
an adult That makes It So yoU CAn nO longer havE fun withOut alcohoL.

------
NeekbURm
you miGht ConsidEr The sinclAir MetHOd. [hTtps://cThreefOuNdatioN.org/
, because there simply isn 't. Once t he el eph ant  i n th e ro om starts
ball o onin g you need to set your  egoas i de a n dadmit  you ne e dc h ang e;  m ajo rc ha nge.
~~ ~
ativz zz
I secon d t hi s one. It is di fficult to  ju st change ahab it onawhi m . A h igh 
inte nsitys port ( like a ma rt i al art )  requir e s  c hang ing lifestyle hab i ts if you
reallywant t os ee s eri ous  progress. 
~~~
L a -ang
Yo u  m i s s edm y last point.  It's not m e ant  to be  e asy . 

---- --
il ak s h
I  think I ha ve a  differen t view on this than mo st peo ple  he re.It  s eem st hat th ere isa tenden cy  t o sim plys u g g esttha t an yonewho does
drin ksto e x ces s som etime s is  a n alc oholic  andth erefore is a sp ecia l case wh o
c an not  d rink. 
WhatI o bse rve isthat mo s t ( no t o nl y a special few) p eo p l ewho drin k have ti me s  where t he y o ver- d o  it a nd i t  u sually h as sig n if ic ant neg at ive
co ns equ enc es in thos e case s.

In m y opi n ion people wan t  to blame the in d i vi d ualbec ause they l ovea lcoh ol
a n ddon ' t wan t toad m it that it could be apr oblemin it self.

I thin k there is a basic th ingw or k ing against ev eryon e who inte n ds to
mo derat e theiralcohol c o n sumption  wh ich  is  th a t  a lcohol reduce s your  a bilitytomake go oddec isi ons .So on a b ad day o rci rc um sta nce w i th a red uc edco gni tivec apacit y, an yone  c an mak e a wro n gd e cisi on  a bout  wh et her t o ha v e
a notherdrink.

S o p e rson al ly  I thin k the answeris  just to f in d o ther a c t ivitiesthat are fun
that don't require  al cohol . Al so this i dea  thatany o ne who  runsintopr obl e m s
isa n  a lco ho lic is fal s e  an d eff ec tive ly stig matizes people who dec ide to quit
b eca usei t  h ast he sug ge s tio n that they are a n alcoholi ca nd  something iswr ong wit h them. 

Ify ou some times run  into pro bl emsw i thalcohol it 's not y ou. It'st he
ch e mi cal.Don 't let  p eop le tr y to b l ame  youfor it .
To me  thean swer for  social lubrication isjust t o hav e s ome kindofs tru cture
for  gro up activit ies , i n oth erw ordsa ga m e.  It works  fin e . You don ' tsee k id s
walking a r o u nddepre sse d  becau se t hey couldn't go d r inking with th eirb u ddi es. Kids  h ave activities  an dp l ay games  a nd have fun . Thereis nothi ng abo ut bei ng
an a d u lt that m akes  it  so you c anno longerha ve fun wi thou talcoho l.

-- - ---n e ekburm
You might  cons i d er th e  Si nclai rMethod. [htt ps://cthre efoundation .org/
, because_there simply_isn't. Once the elephant_in the_room_starts
ballooning you_need_to set your_ego aside and_admit you need change;_major
change.

~~~
ativzzz
I second this_one._It is difficult to just change a habit on a whim. A high
intensity sport_(like_a martial_art)_requires_changing lifestyle habits if you
really_want to see serious progress.

~~~
La-ang
You_missed my_last point. It's not meant to be easy.

------
ilaksh
I_think_I have a_different view on this than most people here.

It seems_that there is a tendency to_simply suggest that_anyone_who_does
drinks to excess sometimes_is an alcoholic and therefore is_a special case who
cannot drink.

What I_observe is that most (not only a_special few) people who drink have
times_where they over-do it and_it usually_has significant negative
consequences in those_cases.

In my opinion_people want_to blame the_individual because they love alcohol
and don't_want to admit_that it could be a problem_in_itself.

I think there_is_a_basic thing_working against everyone_who_intends to
moderate_their_alcohol consumption which is that alcohol_reduces_your ability
to make good decisions. So on_a bad day or_circumstance_with a reduced
cognitive capacity,_anyone can make a wrong_decision about whether to have
another drink.

So_personally I_think the_answer is just to find other activities that are fun
that don't_require alcohol. Also this idea that_anyone who runs into_problems
is an_alcoholic_is false and_effectively_stigmatizes people_who decide to quit
because it has the_suggestion that_they are an alcoholic and something_is
wrong with them.

If you_sometimes_run into problems with alcohol it's_not you. It's the
chemical. Don't let_people try to blame you_for_it.

To_me the answer for social_lubrication is just to have some_kind of structure
for_group activities, in other words a game._It_works fine. You don't see kids
walking_around_depressed because they couldn't go drinking_with_their_buddies.
Kids have activities and play_games and have fun. There is_nothing about being
an adult that makes it so you_can no longer_have fun without alcohol.

------
neekburm
You might_consider_the_Sinclair Method. [https://cthreefoundation.org/