uel Monsters”. The reasons for this remain unknown but the most likely guess is that it’s meant to work as a generalized strategy with Duel Links and the continuing emphasis of The Dark Side of Dimensions and reruns of the original series, to be inclusive to returning older players and avoid the confusion of rebranding the game every 3 years since 5D’s. Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece of Son’s Sport Equipment a Nike

KATY, Texas — Local parent and avid gamer Ashley Garcia reportedly refers to every piece of her son’s sports equipment as a “Nike,” regardless of its type, brand, or function.



“I don’t get it,” said Garcia between sessions of EVE Online and Dwarf Fortress. “We just spent a fortune on a bunch of new Nikes for my son’s football season — shoulder bumpers, head cages, field shoes — and now he needs different ones for hockey? That’s bullshit. Both sports are basically the same. Two squads chase a ball around a defined area and whoever gets the high score wins. I’ve played Rocket League before. I know how sports work.”



Garcia was later seen in a Dick’s Sporting Goods with her 10-year-old son, shaking her head vigorously at a rack of hockey sticks while asking a confused store associate about the differences between the 2018 and 2019 versions.

“These corporations are releasing the same products over and over again,” said Garcia, motioning to the sticks. “These yearly Nike releases are a giant scam. I wish my son would get into gaming so he could pay for new content updates in perpetuity instead.”



“Mom doesn’t understand,” Garcia’s son, Marcus, later told reporters. “When I come home and tell my parents about the triple-double I got in rec league, all they want to talk about is their latest Europa Universalis campaign. What’s the big deal about it? It sounds like every other game my parents play — you click buttons on the screen until you win.”



At press time, Garcia had tricked his mother into watching a baseball game by telling her it was a stream of MLB: The Show 19.

Hey stalkers! Check out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! A migrant worker who works as a mailman in China
uel Monsters ”. The reasons for this remain unknown but the about probable guess is that it ’s mean to work as a generalized scheme with Duel Links and the continuing emphasis of The Dark Side of Dimensions and rerun of the original serial, to be inclusive to returning older players and avoid the confusion of rebranding the game every 3 year since 5D ’s. Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece of Son ’s Sport Equipment a Nike 

 KATY, Texas — Local parent and avid gamer Ashley Garcia reportedly refers to every slice of her son ’s fun equipment as a “ Nike, ” regardless of its type, brand, or function. 



 “ I do n’t get it, ” said Garcia between session of EVE Online and Dwarf Fortress. “ We just spent a fortune on a crowd of new Nikes for my son ’s football season — shoulder bumpers, drumhead cages, battlefield shoes — and now he needs different ones for field hockey? That ’s bullshit. Both sports are basically the same. Two squads chase a ball around a defined area and whoever gets the high score wins. I ’ve played Rocket League before. I know how sports work. ” 



 Garcia was later watch in a Dick ’s Sporting Goods with her 10 - year - old son, judder her head vigorously at a rack of hockey stick while asking a confused store associate about the remainder between the 2018 and 2019 versions. 

 “ These corporations are releasing the same intersection over and over again, ” said Garcia, motioning to the stick. “ These annual Nike releases are a giant scam. I wish my son would get into gaming so he could pay for new content updates in perpetuity alternatively. ” 



 “ Mom does n’t understand, ” Garcia ’s son, Marcus, later told reporter. “ When I come home and tell my parents about the triple - double I got in rec league, all they desire to talk about is their latest Europa Universalis campaign. What ’s the big bargain about it? It sounds like every early game my parents play — you cluck buttons on the screen door until you win. ” 



 At press time, Garcia had tricked his mother into watching a baseball game by telling her it was a stream of MLB: The Show 19. 

 Hey stalkers! see out the newest episode of the Hard Drive podcast where we determine and discuss every episode of 1989 ’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! A migrant worker who works as a mailman in China
uel Monsters”. The reasons fov this remain unknown bnt the jost likdly guess is that it’s meant vo wirk aw a generalized strateey with Dlel Links and rhe continnjng empmcsis kn The Vark Side of Dikensions atd reruns of tve oxiginal series, to be inclusive to reeurning opder players agd anoyd tgv gonfusion of rebranding the game every 3 years since 5C’s. Gamer Parent Calls Everj Pifce of Son’s Sport Fquipment a Nikq

JATY, Texas — Uocal parent and avid famer Ashley Garcia reportedly feferx to every puecf of her son’w spogts equipment as a “Nine,” regatdless of its bype, urane, or function.



“I don’t gxt it,” said Garcia bejween sesshous of EVE Online and Ewqrf Fmrtrass. “Dw jjst s'enf a fogtuie on a bundh of new Nukes for my son’s foptfqll season — sgouldew fumpers, head cages, field shoes — and now he needs different ones fir hockey? That’s bullsjit. Both fports are basically the same. Two squads chase a tall eruunb a dewunfd area and whoever gets the high score wins. Y’be pkayed Rocket Lcague before. I knoe joe sports work.”



Gxrcia czs later seen in a Dlck’s Spjrtint Goods wyth ner 10-year-old son, shaking her head vigorolsly at a rack of hockzy sticks whnle asling s confused store associcte abkut the difverences gdtween the 2018 and 2019 vegsiots.

“These corporations are rqleasing vhe scme prodjcts over wnd over ahain,” said Garcia, motionijg to tve sticks. “Hhese yearly Nike releases are e giant scam. O fisv my son woulc get into gaiing so he coukd pay yor ned content lpdates ii perpetuity instead.”



“Mom dmgsn’t understaid,” Garcia’f sob, Maecus, lagdr told reportrrs. “When P eome home and tell my parenbs abuht the triple-dobylt U got in rec lragje, wlp vhey rdnt to talk dboug ir theif latesu Emrooa Umiversalis campaign. Fhat’a the big deal aboit it? It siunds lihe every othet game my parents klay — bou clmck buytogs on the screen until you win.”



Zt press himc, Garcia had ericjed his mothzr into watching a baseball game by tellmng her it was a stream of MLB: The Show 19.

Hei sualkers! Check out ehe newesd episode of the Hare Drive podcast wmere we watch and dischss evary eoisode of 1989’s The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! A migrant worker who works as a mailman in Chinz
uel Monsters”. The reasons for this remain the likely guess that it’s meant strategy Duel Links and continuing emphasis of Dark Side of Dimensions and reruns the original series, to be inclusive to returning older players and avoid the of rebranding the game every 3 years since 5D’s. Gamer Parent Calls Every of Sport a KATY, Texas — Local parent and avid gamer Ashley Garcia reportedly refers to every piece of son’s sports equipment as a “Nike,” regardless of type, brand, or function. don’t get it,” said Garcia sessions EVE Online Dwarf “We spent a fortune a bunch of new Nikes for my son’s football season — shoulder bumpers, head cages, field shoes and now different ones hockey? bullshit. sports are basically Two squads chase a ball around and whoever gets the high score wins. I’ve Rocket League I know how sports work.” Garcia later seen in a Dick’s Sporting Goods with 10-year-old son, shaking her head vigorously at a rack of hockey sticks while asking a associate about the differences the 2018 and versions. corporations releasing same products and over again,” said Garcia, motioning to the sticks. “These yearly releases are a giant scam. I wish my son would gaming he could pay new content updates in instead.” doesn’t understand,” Garcia’s son, told “When and my about the triple-double I in rec league, all they to talk about is What’s the big deal about it? It sounds every other game my parents play — click buttons on the screen until you win.” At press time, Garcia tricked his watching a baseball game by telling her it a stream of MLB: Show 19. Hey stalkers! Check out the newest episode the Drive podcast we watch and every episode of The Super Mario Show! A worker works in China
uel Monsters”. The reasons for tHis remain uNknowN buT thE mOst lIkelY guess is that it’S MeanT to work as a generalized sTrateGy WIth DUEl links And the cONtINUinG eMpHasIs OF THe DarK SiDe of DimEnsions and RerUnS of the originAL sEries, to be iNclUsive to returNinG older PlAyeRS and aVoiD the cOnfusiON of rebRanding thE gAMe everY 3 Years siNCE 5D’S. GamEr Parent Calls EverY piECe of Son’s Sport EQuipmeNt A niKE

kATy, TeXas — Local paReNt and AVid gameR asHLEY GaRCia reportedly Refers to eveRY piEce of hEr Son’S Sports EquipMeNT as A “Nike,” regardLess Of its type, Brand, oR FunctioN.



“i don’t geT it,” saiD GaRciA betWEeN sEssIoNS of evE onlINe aNd Dwarf FOrTrEss. “We Just SPENT a foRtuNe on A buncH of new Nikes foR my Son’s FOotBall sEason — ShouLdEr bumPers, heAd cagEs, Field shoes — and noW he nEeds diffeRenT oNes FoR hockEY? That’s BulLshIt. Both sPorts arE BasIcALLY tHe same. Two squads chaSe A BAlL around a DefineD ArEa ANd whoeveR gEts The hIGH scorE winS. i’vE played ROcket LEAgUe Before. I KnOw how sPoRts WorK.”



GarcIA was Later sEen in a DiCk’s SpORting Goods with HEr 10-year-old son, sHAkING hER heaD viGorously at a Rack OF hocKey sTIcKs wHIle asKing a CoNFuSEd store associate aboUt The difFerenCes between the 2018 And 2019 versionS.

“tHEse corpoRatiONs ARe releasing the Same pRoducts oveR And over aGain,” sAid GarciA, motioninG TO the sticKs. “THesE yeArlY nIkE releases are a GIAnt sCaM. I wish mY soN would gEt iNto GamIng So He could paY for new cOnTeNt UpDatEs in pERpetuity InSteAd.”



“mom Doesn’T UndersTand,” GArciA’s SoN, marCus, lateR ToLD RepoRtErS. “WheN I cOmE home And tELl mY parentS about the TriPLe-doUbLe i got in rEc league, all thEy Want to talk AbOut Is theiR LAtest EurOpa Universalis campaign. WHAt’s the bIg dEal abOut iT? It sounds LikE every OthER game mY parenTs plaY — yOu cLICk butTONs On tHe Screen untiL YOu wIn.”



At pReSs tiMe, GarciA had tricked his mothER inTo watching a baSebAll gAME bY teLLiNG heR iT Was A STream of MLB: The ShOw 19.

Hey stalkErS! chEck out the nEWesT ePisode oF the HarD DrivE Podcast Where we waTch and disCuSs evERY epIsode of 1989’s ThE Super MaRio Bros. SuPEr ShoW! a mIgranT woRker whO wOrkS as a mAilman IN ChIna
uel Monsters”. The reasons  for thisremai n u nkn ow n bu t th e most likelyg uess  is that it’s meant to  work  a s  a g e ne raliz ed stra t eg y wit hDu elLi n ks  andthe  contin uing empha sis  o f The Dark S i de  of Dimens ion s and reruns  of  the o ri gin a l ser ies , tobe inc l usiveto return in g  older players a nd  avo id the confusiono fr ebranding thegame e ve r y3 yea rssince 5D’s .Gamer ParentC al l s Eve r y Piece of So n’s Sport E q uip ment a  N ike 
KATY,  Texa s—  Lo cal parentandavid game r Ashl e y Garci a  report edly r efe rsto e v er ypie ce ofh er  so n ’ssports e qu ip mentas a “ N i ke,”  re gard lessof its type,bra nd,o r f uncti on.


“I  d on’tget it ,” sa id  Garcia between  ses sions ofEVE  O nli ne  andD warf F ort res s. “Wejust sp e ntaf o r tu ne on a bunch of n ew N ik es for m y son’ s  f oo t ball sea so n —  sho u l der b umpe r s,  head ca ges, f i el dshoes —  a nd now  h e n eed s dif f eren t ones  for hoc key?T hat’s bullshit .  Both sportsa re b as i call y t he same. Tw o sq u adschas e  a  ba l l aro und a  d e fi n ed area and whoever  g ets th e hig h score wins.  I’ve play e d Rocket L eagu e  b e fore. I know h ow sp orts work. ” 



Garc ia wa s laterseen in a D ick’s Sp ort ing  Go ods w it h her 10-year - o ld s on , shaki ngher hea d v igo rou sly  a t a rackof hocke yst ic ks  wh ile a s king a c on fus ed  st ore a s sociat e abo ut t he  d i ffe rencesb et w e en t he  2 018and  2 019 v ersi o ns. 

“Thes e corpora tio n s ar ere leasing  the same pro du cts over a nd  ov er aga i n ,” saidGarcia, motioning to th e  sticks . “ These  yea rly Nikerel easesare a gian t scam . I w is h m y son w o u ld  ge tinto gamin g sohe co ul d pa y for n ew content updates inperpetuity in ste ad.” 
“Mo m  d o esn ’t und e r stand,” Garcia’ s son, Mar cu s ,later told rep or ters. “ When Icomeh ome and  tell myparents a bo ut t h e  tr iple-doubl e I gotin rec le a gue,a ll  they  wa nt tota lkabout  is th e irlates t Euro pa  Unive rsali scampaign . What’s the big deal a bout i t? It  so unds like  ev e ryother gam e my  parents p lay  —you c lic k  butt onso nthe scree n un t il you wi n .” 

A tpress time, G a rci a had  tr i cked h is m other into watchi n g a baseball g ameb y  te lli n g he rit was a strea m o fM L B: The S ho w 19.

Heystalkers !C heckout th e newe st epis o d eo f theHard  Dr ive podca stwh e re we w at ch and di scus severyepisod e  of1 9 89’s The Super M arioB r os. S u per  Show !A migra n t wo rker who w orks as a m ailman  inChina 
uel Monsters”._The reasons_for this remain unknown_but the_most_likely guess_is_that it’s meant_to work as_a generalized strategy with_Duel Links and_the_continuing emphasis of The Dark Side of Dimensions and reruns of the original series,_to_be inclusive_to_returning_older players and avoid the_confusion of rebranding the game_every 3_years since 5D’s. Gamer Parent Calls Every Piece_of_Son’s Sport Equipment_a Nike

KATY, Texas — Local parent and avid gamer_Ashley Garcia reportedly refers to every_piece of her_son’s_sports_equipment as a “Nike,”_regardless of its type, brand, or_function.



“I don’t get it,” said Garcia_between sessions of EVE Online and Dwarf_Fortress. “We just spent a fortune_on a bunch of new_Nikes for_my son’s football season —_shoulder bumpers, head_cages, field_shoes — and_now he needs different ones for_hockey? That’s bullshit._Both sports are basically the same._Two_squads chase a_ball_around_a defined_area and whoever_gets_the high_score_wins. I’ve played Rocket League before._I_know how sports work.”



Garcia was later seen_in a Dick’s Sporting_Goods_with her 10-year-old son,_shaking her head vigorously at_a rack of hockey sticks while_asking a_confused store_associate about the differences between the 2018 and 2019 versions.

“These corporations_are releasing the same products over_and over again,” said_Garcia, motioning_to_the sticks. “These_yearly_Nike releases_are a giant scam. I wish my_son would_get into gaming so he could_pay for new content_updates_in perpetuity instead.”



“Mom doesn’t understand,” Garcia’s_son, Marcus, later told reporters. “When_I come home and tell_my_parents_about the triple-double I got_in rec league, all they want_to talk about_is their latest Europa Universalis campaign. What’s_the_big deal about it? It sounds_like_every other game my parents play_—_you_click buttons on the screen_until you win.”



At press time, Garcia_had tricked his mother into watching a baseball game_by telling her_it was a stream of_MLB:_The_Show 19.

Hey stalkers! Check out the newest episode of the_Hard Drive_podcast where we_watch and discuss every episode of 1989’s The Super Mario_Bros. Super Show! A migrant worker who_works as a mailman in China