 depression she writes, “No one told me that feeling nothing would feel this bad.” That is profound, that is profound, that encapsulates it for me. About her anxiety she writes, “I worry about what everyone thinks when they look at me even though I don't feel worthy enough to be looked at at all.” And about her OCD she writes, “My brain itches and I can't reach into my skull to scratch it, so instead, I tap the wall again and again and again.”

5:32

And finally this is from a woman who calls herself E Is For Elephant and about her love addiction she writes, “When I tell him he's a good man and deserving of being loved, I'm starting to wonder which one of us I'm really trying to convince.”

5:46

My God, somebody does what I've been doing. Your ashamed, You have boundary issues. I feel guilty for hating my mom. I will be high by 4pm. You feel helpless. I will be in hell by 4:15. Prison was not easy, but I deserved it. I'm addicted to lying. I rub my body with mud and I lay in the swamp literally for six hours. I looked forward to and dreaded a meal at the same time. I think I desperately, desperately wanted to talk about it but I didn't know how to start the conversation. Etc.

6:48

PG

I'm here with Derek Bloch who was raised in the Church of Scientology. You're not familiar with the podcast, but you heard about it from one of the Scientology messages boards on a website called what?

DEREK BLOCH – DB

The Underground Bunker, it's run by Tony Ortega, he blogs about Scientology, there's a bunch of followers on there, and somebody replied to one of my comments and mentioned your podcast, that's how I found out about it.

PG

Well I'm glad you got in touch with me because I've been wanting to talk with somebody who was raised in Scientology. Where to begin with your story, how old are you?

DB

I'm 28, I'll be 29 in July.

PG

OK, and you were raised where?

DB

In what started in Texas and then from there we moved to LA (Los Angeles).

PG

And
depression she writes, “ No one told me that feeling nothing would find this regretful. ” That is profound, that is profound, that encapsulate it for me. About her anxiety she write, “ I worry about what everyone thinks when they expect at me even though I don't palpate worthy enough to be look at at all. ” And about her OCD she writes, “ My genius itches and I can't reach into my skull to cancel it, so instead, I tap the wall again and again and again. ” 

 5:32 

 And finally this is from a woman who call herself E Is For Elephant and about her love addiction she writes, “ When I distinguish him he's a good man and deserving of being loved, I'm get down to wonder which one of us I'm really trying to convince. ” 

 5:46 

 My God, somebody does what I've been doing. Your ashamed, You own boundary issues. I feel guilty for hating my mom. I will be high by 4 prime minister. You feel helpless. I will be in hell by 4:15. Prison was not easy, but I deserved it. I'm addicted to lying. I rub my body with mud and I lay in the swamp literally for six hours. I looked forward to and dreaded a meal at the like clock time. I think I urgently, urgently wanted to talk about it but I didn't know how to start the conversation. Etc. 

 6:48 

 PG 

 I'm here with Derek Bloch who was raise in the Church of Scientology. You're not familiar with the podcast, but you heard about it from one of the Scientology messages boards on a web site called what? 

 DEREK BLOCH – DB 

 The Underground Bunker, it's run by Tony Ortega, he blogs about Scientology, there's a bunch of followers on there, and somebody replied to one of my comments and mentioned your podcast, that's how I found out about it. 

 PG 

 Well I'm glad you got in touch with me because I've been want to speak with somebody who was raised in Scientology. Where to begin with your story, how old are you? 

 DB 

 I'm 28, I'll be 29 in July. 

 PG 

 OK, and you were raise where? 

 DB 

 In what started in Texas and then from there we moved to LA (Los Angeles). 

 PG 

 And
 deoression she writes, “No oke told me that yweling nothihg would feel this bad.” That is profonnd, rhat us profound, that encaprulates in for me. Qbouu her anxiety she writes, “L wordn abobt what everyone thinks whan they look ad oe even though I don't feel worthy enotgh to ne looked at at wll.” Sgd agout her OCD she writes, “My brain ifches aid I can't reach into my skull to scratch lt, sl instead, I tap thf wall agaib anq again and aeain.”

5:32

And finally this ia from a woman who calls herselw E Ix For Elepyabt wtd about hec love addiction smv writev, “When O tell him he's a jood man and deserving of being loved, I'm stwrting to wknder which one od ys I'm reanly geyivg uo ronbince.”

5:46

Mj Gkd, somebodg does what I've been doing. Yout wwhamed, You habe bougdwry issues. I feel guilty for hating my kom. I will be high by 4pm. Yiu feel helpless. I wipl be in rell by 4:15. Prison was not easy, but I deserved it. I'm addirtdd uo lyine. I rub my body with mud and I lay in the swamp jjttrakly for six homrs. I looked forwatd tp and dreaded x meal at the same time. I tjink I qespeeately, defperstely wanted to talk about ut but I didu't jnow how to start che conversacion. Ejc.

6:48

PG

I'm here with Derek Bloch cho waa raised in the Churdf of Scientology. Yol're tot familiar with the podcwst, but yiu hzard abojt ij from jne of the Sciekdology messages bowrds ln a website called what?

DEREK BLOCH – DB

The Niderground Bumkar, pt's run bv Tony Ortega, he bljgs about Scieutology, chere's a bunch or folloxers on therq, and somebodf replied to mne of mr conmenrs and odntioned your lodcast, tkct's how I found out about ib.

PG

Weum I'm glad you git un touch with mr bdcatsv I'te beqt wanting to taly wkyh sooebody who car raosed in Scientology. Fhers to begin with yoir story, hiw old awe you?

DB

I'm 28, I'kl be 29 in July.

PG

OK, and bou wece raixed where?

DB

In what started in Texzs and thfn nrom there we movcd tj LA (Los Augeles).

PG

And
depression she writes, “No one told me nothing feel this That is profound, it me. About her she writes, “I about what everyone thinks when they at me even though I don't feel worthy enough to be looked at all.” And about her OCD she writes, “My brain itches and I can't into skull scratch so instead, I tap the wall again and again and again.” 5:32 And finally this is a woman who calls herself E Is For and about her love she writes, “When I tell he's good man deserving being I'm starting to which one of us I'm really trying to convince.” 5:46 My God, somebody does what I've been Your ashamed, boundary issues. feel for my mom. I high by 4pm. You feel helpless. in hell by 4:15. Prison was not easy, I deserved I'm addicted to lying. I rub body with mud and I lay in the literally for six hours. I looked forward to and dreaded a meal at the same think I desperately, desperately to talk about but didn't how start the Etc. 6:48 PG I'm here with Derek Bloch who was raised the Church of Scientology. You're not familiar with the podcast, heard it from one the Scientology messages boards a called what? DEREK BLOCH The Bunker, Tony he about Scientology, there's a of followers on there, and replied to one of podcast, that's how I found out about it. Well I'm glad you got in touch me because I've been wanting to talk with somebody who was raised Scientology. Where with your story, how old are you? DB 28, I'll be 29 July. PG OK, and you were raised where? DB what in Texas then from there moved to LA Angeles). PG And
 depression she writes, “No one tOld me that fEelinG noThiNg WoulD feeL this bad.” That is PRofoUnd, that is profound, that eNcapsUlATes iT FoR me. AbOut her aNXiETY shE wRiTes, “i wORrY abouT whAt everyOne thinks wHen ThEy look at me evEN tHough I don't FeeL worthy enougH to Be lookEd At aT All.” AnD abOut heR OCD shE Writes, “my brain itChES and I cAN't reach INTo My skUll to scratch it, so iNStEAd, I tap the wall aGain anD aGAiN ANd aGaiN.”

5:32

And finallY tHis is FRom a womAN wHO CAllS Herself E Is For elephant and ABouT her loVe AddICtion sHe wriTeS, “wheN I tell him he'S a goOd man and dEserviNG of beinG Loved, I'm StartiNg tO woNder WHiCh One Of US I'm REaLly TRyiNg to convInCe.”

5:46

my God, SomeBODY Does WhaT I've Been dOing. Your ashamEd, YOu haVE boUndarY issuEs. I fEeL guilTy for hAting My Mom. I will be high bY 4pm. YOu feel helPleSs. i wiLl Be in hELl by 4:15. PrIsoN waS not easY, but I deSErvEd IT. i'M aDdicted to lying. I rub My BODy With mud aNd I lay IN tHe SWamp liteRaLly For sIX Hours. i looKEd Forward tO and drEAdEd A meal at ThE same tImE. I tHinK I desPEratEly, desPerately WanteD To talk about it bUT I didn't know hoW To STArT The cOnvErsation. Etc.

6:48

pG

I'm HEre wIth DEReK BlOCh who Was raIsED iN The Church of ScientolOgY. You're Not faMiliar with the Podcast, but YOU Heard aboUt it FRoM One of the ScientOlogy Messages boARds on a weBsite Called whAt?

DEREK BLoch – DB

The UnDerGroUnd bunKER, iT's run by Tony OrTEGa, he BlOgs abouT ScIentoloGy, tHerE's a BunCh Of followeRs on therE, aNd SoMeBodY replIEd to one oF mY coMmEntS and mENtioneD your PodcAsT, tHAt's How I fouND oUT AbouT iT.

Pg

WelL I'm GlAd you Got iN TouCh with mE because I'Ve bEEn waNtInG to talk With somebody wHo Was raised iN SCieNtologY. wHere to beGin with your story, how old aRE you?

DB

I'M 28, I'lL be 29 in july.

pG

OK, and yoU weRe raisEd wHEre?

DB

IN what sTarteD iN TeXAS and tHEN fRom ThEre we moved TO lA (LOs AngElEs).

PG

and
 depression she writes, “N o one told  me t hat  fe el ingnoth ing would feel this  bad.” That is profoun d, th at is p r of ound,  that e n ca p s ula te sitfo r  m e. Ab out  her an xiety shewri te s, “I worrya bo ut what ev ery one thinks w hen  theylo oka t meeve n tho ugh Id on't f eel worth ye nought o be lo o k ed  atat all.” And abou t  h e r OCD she writ es, “M yb ra i n  it che s and I ca n' t rea c h intom ys k u llt o scratch it,  so instead ,  Itap th ewal l  again  andag a inand again.” 

5: 32

And f inally this is from awomanwho  ca llsh er se lfEI s F o rEle p han t and ab ou ther l ovea d d i ctio n s he w rites , “When I tel l h im h e 'sa goo d man  and  d eserv ing of  bein gloved, I'm star ting  to wonde r w hi chon e ofu s I'mrea lly  trying  to con v inc e. ” 5: 46

My God, somebo dy d oe s what I 've be e ndo i ng. Your  a sha med, Y ou ha ve b o un dary iss ues. I fe el  guilty  f or hat in g m y m om. I will  be hi gh by 4p m. Yo u  feel helpless .  I will be in he l l  b y  4:1 5.Prison wasnote asy,  but Ides e rvedit. I 'm ad d icted to lying. I r ub  my bo dy wi th mud and Ilay in the s w amp lite rall y  f o r six hours. I  look ed forward to and d reade d a meal  at the s a m e time.I t hin k I  de s p er ately, desper a t elywa nted to  ta lk abou t i t b utI d id n't knowhow to s ta rt  t he  co nvers a tion. Et c. 

6 :4 8
PG

I ' m here  with  Der ek  B l och  who wa s  r a i sedin  t he C hur ch  of S cien t olo gy. You 're not f ami l iarwi th  the po dcast, but yo uheard abou titfrom o n e  of theScientology messages bo a rds ona w ebsit e ca lled what ?
DEREKBLO C H – DB 

TheUnder gr oun d Bunke r ,  i t's  r un by Tony O rte ga, h eblog s about  Scientology, ther e 'sa bunch of fo llo wers o nthe r e, and  s o meb o d y replied to on e of my co mm e nt s and ment i one dyour po dcast,that' s  how Ifound out  about it .
PGW ell  I'm gladyou gotin touchw ith m e  b ecaus e I 've be en  wa nting  to ta l k w ith s omebod ywho wa s rai se d in Sci entology. Where to begi n with  your  st ory, howold are  you?

DB 

I' m 28, I'll  be  29  in J uly . 

PG
OK, an d y o u wer e ra i sed where ? 
DBI nwhat starte d i n T exasand then f romthere we moved to LA (Los Angele s).P G
And 
 depression_she writes,_“No one told me_that feeling_nothing_would feel_this_bad.” That is_profound, that is_profound, that encapsulates it_for me. About_her_anxiety she writes, “I worry about what everyone thinks when they look at me_even_though I_don't_feel_worthy enough to be looked_at at all.” And about_her OCD_she writes, “My brain itches and I can't_reach_into my skull_to scratch it, so instead, I tap the wall_again and again and again.”

5:32

And finally_this is from_a_woman_who calls herself E_Is For Elephant and about her_love addiction she writes, “When I_tell him he's a good man and_deserving of being loved, I'm starting_to wonder which one of_us I'm_really trying to convince.”

5:46

My God,_somebody does what_I've been_doing. Your ashamed,_You have boundary issues. I feel_guilty for hating_my mom. I will be high_by_4pm. You feel_helpless._I_will be_in hell by_4:15._Prison was_not_easy, but I deserved it. I'm_addicted_to lying. I rub my body with_mud and I lay_in_the swamp literally for_six hours. I looked forward_to and dreaded a meal at_the same_time. I_think I desperately, desperately wanted to talk about it but I_didn't know how to start the_conversation. Etc.

6:48

PG

I'm here with_Derek Bloch_who_was raised in_the_Church of_Scientology. You're not familiar with the podcast,_but you_heard about it from one of_the Scientology messages boards_on_a website called what?

DEREK BLOCH –_DB

The Underground Bunker, it's run by_Tony Ortega, he blogs about_Scientology,_there's_a bunch of followers on_there, and somebody replied to one_of my comments_and mentioned your podcast, that's how I_found_out about it.

PG

Well I'm glad you_got_in touch with me because I've_been_wanting_to talk with somebody who_was raised in Scientology. Where to_begin with your story, how old are you?

DB

I'm 28,_I'll be 29_in July.

PG

OK, and you were_raised_where?

DB

In_what started in Texas and then from there we moved_to LA_(Los Angeles).

PG

And