 'can you fix my product?' "It's shifted into a personal relationship now,” says Karmarkar.

Ask yourself: Do you want restitution or do you want to punish them?

But “there are certainly ways of trying to retain your agency,” Karmarkar says. You can “look for other ways to communicate your frustration and take actions you feel bring you closer to restitution” — otherwise known as the 'ask for the manager' approach. There's an interesting balance happening here though, she notes. “Do you want restitution or do you want to punish them”? (Can't it be both? I sometimes wonder!)

That's also hard to recommend, she says, because “what if they don't respond? You're stuck and now you have two points of frustration.”

Then a “lovely suggestion but a difficult one,” she says is to “humanize the interaction from the other person's point of view … create reasons for why they're treating you this way. Maybe they're having a bad day, maybe they have a bad boss.” But is that likely for most of us? “It requires a lot a lot of empathy and compassion after you've been harmed,” Karmarkar acknowledges. “It's so hard because you've placed your trust in them [and then you were] punished.”

Twitter can be a great place to vent your frustration if you aren't being heard, but know your goal before you post. mrdoomits / Getty Images/iStockphoto

Find Another Outlet for Your Frustration

Because a key factor here is the feeling of being wronged, another way of finding your way out of the rabbit hole is to seek validation elsewhere, according to Karmarkar. Enter Twitter. But tread carefully, she cautions. While this can serve two purposes — trying to get a response from the company, and getting validation from others that you were treated poorly — and may provide relief, “the ugly shadow to that is holding that resentment over time — a grudge,” she says. “Where every time I think of it I'm angry again.”

It's worth finding a way past the seething stage, because it's not just about you, Karmarkar reminds us. Say “you had a bad day at work so you're rude to someone online … you get these spreading ripples because people are trying to find outlets to express that frustration.

It's not just hurtful to
' can you fix my product?' " It's shifted into a personal relationship nowadays, ” say Karmarkar. 

 Ask yourself: Do you want restitution or do you desire to punish them? 

 But “ there are certainly ways of hear to retain your agency, ” Karmarkar says. You can “ search for other ways to commune your frustration and take actions you palpate fetch you closer to restitution ” — otherwise known as the' ask for the manager' access. There's an interesting balance happening here though, she notes. “ Do you desire restitution or do you want to punish them ”? (Can't it be both? I sometimes wonder !) 

 That's besides hard to commend, she says, because “ what if they don't respond? You're stuck and now you have two points of frustration. ” 

 Then a “ lovely trace but a difficult one, ” she says is to “ humanize the interaction from the other person's point of view … create reasons for why they're treating you this way. Maybe they're having a bad day, maybe they have a bad boss. ” But is that probable for most of us? “ It necessitate a lot a fortune of empathy and compassion after you've been harm, ” Karmarkar acknowledges. “ It's so hard because you've placed your trust in them [ and then you were ] punished. ” 

 Twitter can be a great place to vent your frustration if you aren't being listen, but know your goal before you post. mrdoomits / Getty Images / iStockphoto 

 Find Another Outlet for Your Frustration 

 Because a cardinal factor here is the feeling of being wronged, another way of finding your way out of the rabbit fix is to seek validation elsewhere, according to Karmarkar. Enter Twitter. But tread carefully, she caution. While this can serve two purposes — trying to get a response from the company, and getting validation from others that you were treated ill — and may provide relief, “ the ugly shadow to that is holding that resentment over clock time — a grudge, ” she says. “ Where every clock time I think of it I'm angry again. ” 

 It's deserving finding a way past the seething stagecoach, because it's not just about you, Karmarkar reminds us. read “ you had a regretful day at work so you're rude to someone online … you perplex these spreading ripples because people are try to detect outlets to express that frustration. 

 It's not merely hurtful to
 'caj you fix my product?' "It's shifted into a personel relafionship now,” says Karmarkar.

Ask yoursxlf: Eo yoy want restitution or ao you wajt to pubish rhem?

But “thxde are gzrtaihpy wcyw of trying to retain yogr agency,” Karmdryax says. You can “look for other ways tj commumifate your frusjratipg ans take actions you feel bring you dloser uo restitution” — otnerwise known as the 'ask flr tje manager' approacj. There's an intqeesting balavce happenpug here thoogh, she notes. “Do you want restitjtion or do you wqnt jo punish thxm”? (Can'n it be both? L somethmes womder!)

That's also hacd ti recommend, she says, uecause “what if they don't res[oud? You're stuck and noq tou hdve dwo oiings kf fdustrahioi.”

Then a “lovsly suggestuon but a difficult ogv,” she says is to “huiagize the interaction from the other pervon'a point of view … create reasons for why they'te treatind you this way. Maybe they're having a bad day, mayba theb favt q bad vods.” But is that likely for most of us? “It requiwss a lot a lot of cmpathy and compasxiln wfter you've bgen harmed,” Karmarkar acknowlfdges. “Ij's so yard becatse uou've placed your trust in rhem [and theu yiu were] punished.”

Twntter can be a gteat pkace to vent your frustxation if you arej't being gdard, but know yojr noan before you post. mrdoomitf / Getty Mmagex/iStockohotp

Find Wnother Ouhlet nmr Your Frustratioj

Becaose a ney factor here is the feeling of being wcpnged, anothet wdy mf findiug youv way out of thq rabbit hole ns to sezk valkdation elaewhere, according eo Karmarkar. Ajter Twitter. But trewd cqrefylly, shd cautions. Whilr this cau serce two purposes — tvying fo get a responwe drom the companu, avd dentiig vajhdation from othdrs yhat hou wert tveaged loorly — and may provhde delief, “the ugly shsdjw to thqt is hojding that rexentment over time — a gcudge,” rhe ssys. “Where every time I think of if I'm angrj anain.”

It's worth fineing a way pcst the seething stage, because it's not jnst about you, Karmarkat reminds us. Say “you kac a bad day at wjrk so yog're rude to someone inline … you get tmese spreading ripples becauve pelple are trying to find outlets to express that frustration.

It's not just hyrtful to
'can you fix my product?' "It's shifted personal now,” says Ask yourself: Do you to punish them? “there are certainly of trying to retain your agency,” says. You can “look for other ways to communicate your frustration and take you feel bring you closer to restitution” — otherwise known as the 'ask the approach. an balance happening here though, she notes. “Do you want restitution or do you want to punish (Can't it be both? I sometimes wonder!) That's hard to recommend, she because “what if they don't You're and now have points frustration.” Then a suggestion but a difficult one,” she says is to “humanize the interaction from the other person's point view … for why treating this Maybe they're having day, maybe they have a bad that likely for most of us? “It requires lot a of empathy and compassion after you've harmed,” Karmarkar acknowledges. “It's so hard because you've your trust in them [and then you were] punished.” Twitter can be a great place your frustration if you being heard, but your before post. / Getty Find Another Outlet for Your Frustration Because a key factor here the feeling of being wronged, another way of finding your of rabbit hole is seek validation elsewhere, according Karmarkar. Twitter. But tread carefully, While can — to a response from the and getting validation from others you were treated poorly “the ugly shadow to that is holding that over time — a grudge,” she says. every time I think of it I'm angry again.” It's worth finding way past stage, because it's not just about you, Karmarkar us. Say “you had bad day at work so you're rude to someone … get these ripples because people trying to find to express that not just to
 'can you fix my product?' "It's shifTed into a peRsonaL reLatIoNshiP now,” Says Karmarkar.

ASK youRself: Do you want restitutIon or Do YOu waNT tO puniSh them?

BUT “tHERe aRe CeRtaInLY wAys of TryIng to reTain your agEncY,” KArmarkar says. yOu Can “look for OthEr ways to commUniCate yoUr FruSTratiOn aNd takE actioNS you feEl bring yoU cLOser to REstitutION” — oTherWise known as the 'ask FOr THe manager' approAch. TheRe'S An INTerEstIng balance HaPpeniNG here thOUgH, SHE noTEs. “Do you want reStitution or DO yoU want tO pUniSH them”? (CAn't it Be BOth? i sometimes wOndeR!)

That's alsO hard tO RecommeND, she sayS, becauSe “wHat If thEY dOn'T reSpONd? YOU'rE stUCk aNd now you HaVe Two poInts OF FRUstrAtiOn.”

ThEn a “loVely suggestioN buT a diFFicUlt onE,” she sAys iS tO “humaNize thE inteRaCtion from the othEr peRson's poinT of ViEw … cReAte reASons foR whY thEy're treAting yoU ThiS wAY. mAyBe they're having a bad DaY, MAyBe they haVe a bad BOsS.” BUT is that lIkEly For mOST of us? “it reQUiRes a lot a Lot of eMPaThY and comPaSsion aFtEr yOu'vE been HArmeD,” KarmaRkar acknOwledGEs. “It's so hard becAUse you've placeD YoUR TrUSt in TheM [and then you Were] PUnisHed.”

TWItTer CAn be a Great PlACe TO vent your frustratioN iF you arEn't beIng heard, but knOw your goal BEFOre you poSt. mrDOoMIts / Getty Images/IStocKphoto

Find aNother OuTlet fOr Your FrUstration

bECause a keY faCtoR heRe iS THe Feeling of beinG WRongEd, Another Way Of findiNg yOur Way Out Of The rabbit Hole is to SeEk VaLiDatIon elSEwhere, acCoRdiNg To KArmarKAr. EnteR TwitTer. BUt TrEAd cArefullY, ShE CAutiOnS. WHile ThiS cAn serVe twO PurPoses — trYing to get A reSPonsE fRoM the comPany, and gettinG vAlidation fRoM otHers thAT You were tReated poorly — and may proviDE relief, “The Ugly sHadoW to that is HolDing thAt rESentmeNt over Time — a GrUdgE,” SHe sayS. “wHeRe eVeRy time I thiNK Of iT I'm anGrY agaIn.”

It's woRth finding a way past THe sEething stage, bEcaUse iT'S NoT juST aBOut YoU, karMARkar reminds us. SaY “you had a baD dAY aT work so you'RE ruDe To someoNe onlinE … you gET these sPreading rIpples becAuSe peOPLe aRe trying to Find outlEts to exprESs thaT FrUstraTioN.

It's noT jUst HurtfUl to
 'can you fix my product?'  "It's shi ftedint o a  p erso nalrelationship n o w,”says Karmarkar.

Ask y ourse lf :  Doy ou  want  restit u ti o n  or  d oyou  w a nt  to p uni sh them ?

But “th ere  a re certainly wa ys of tryi ngto retain yo uragency ,”  Ka r marka r s ays.You ca n  “look  for othe rw ays to communi c a te  you r frustration and ta k e actions youfeel b ri n gy o u c los er to rest it ution ”  — othe r wi s e kno w n as the 'ask  for the ma n age r' app ro ach .  There 's an  i n ter esting bala ncehappening  heret hough,s he note s. “Do  yo u w antr es ti tut io n  or do  yo u  wa nt to pu ni sh  them ”? ( C a n ' t it  be  bot h? Isometimes won der !)
T hat 's al so ha rd t orecom mend,she s ay s, because “wha t if  they don 'tre spo nd ? You ' re stu ckand  now yo u havet wopo i n t sof frustration.”
Th e n  a  “lovely  sugge s ti on but a di ff icu lt o n e ,” sh e sa y sis to “h umaniz e  t he  intera ct ion fr om  th e o therp erso n's po int of v iew … create reasons for why they' r et r ea t ingyou  this way.Mayb e  the y're ha vin g  a ba d day ,m ay b e they have a bad b os s.” Bu t isthat likely f or most of u s ? “It re quir e sa  lot a lot ofempat hy and com p assion a fteryou've b een harme d , ” Karmar kar  ac kno wle d g es . “It's so ha r d  bec au se you' veplacedyou r t rus t i nthem [and  then yo uwe re ]pun ished . ”

Twitt er  ca nbea gre a t plac e tovent  y ou r  fr ustrati o ni f  you  a re n'tbei ng  hear d, b u t k now you r goal be for e  you  p os t. mrdo omits / Getty  I mages/iSto ck pho to

Fi n d  Another  Outlet for Your Frustr a tion

B eca use a  key  factor h ere  is th e f e elingof bei ng wr on ged , anoth e r  w ayof  finding y o u r w ay ou tof t he rabb it hole is to seek val idation elsew her e, a c c or din g  t o  Ka rm a rka r .  Enter Twitter.  But tread  c a re fully, she cau ti ons. Wh ile thi s can serve t wo purpos es — tryi ng  tog e t a  responsefrom the  company, and g e tt ing v ali dation  f rom  othe rs tha t  yo u wer e trea te d poor ly —an d may pr ovide relief, “the ugly  shado w totha t is hold ing tha t resentm entover time— a  gr udge, ” s h e say s. “ W he ree verytime I think o f  i t I ' m  a ngry again. ” It' s wor thf inding  a w ay past the seeth i ng stage, beca usei t 'snot just  a bout you, Karm ark ar r eminds u s.  Say “you h ad a bad  d a y atwork s o you' re rude t os omeone  onl ine  … you ge t t he s e sprea di ng ripple s be ca use pe ople a r e tr y i ng to find outle ts to e xpres s  th at fr us tration . 

It 's not jus t hurtful t o
 'can_you fix_my product?' "It's shifted_into a_personal_relationship now,”_says_Karmarkar.

Ask yourself: Do_you want restitution_or do you want_to punish them?

But_“there_are certainly ways of trying to retain your agency,” Karmarkar says. You can “look_for_other ways_to_communicate_your frustration and take actions_you feel bring you closer_to restitution”_— otherwise known as the 'ask for the_manager'_approach. There's an_interesting balance happening here though, she notes. “Do you_want restitution or do you want_to punish them”?_(Can't_it_be both? I sometimes_wonder!)

That's also hard to recommend, she_says, because “what if they don't_respond? You're stuck and now you have_two points of frustration.”

Then a “lovely_suggestion but a difficult one,”_she says_is to “humanize the interaction_from the other_person's point_of view …_create reasons for why they're treating_you this way._Maybe they're having a bad day,_maybe_they have a_bad_boss.”_But is_that likely for_most_of us?_“It_requires a lot a lot of_empathy_and compassion after you've been harmed,” Karmarkar_acknowledges. “It's so hard_because_you've placed your trust_in them [and then you_were] punished.”

Twitter can be a great_place to_vent your_frustration if you aren't being heard, but know your goal before_you post. mrdoomits / Getty Images/iStockphoto

Find_Another Outlet for Your_Frustration

Because a_key_factor here is_the_feeling of_being wronged, another way of finding your_way out_of the rabbit hole is to_seek validation elsewhere, according_to_Karmarkar. Enter Twitter. But tread carefully,_she cautions. While this can serve_two purposes — trying to_get_a_response from the company, and_getting validation from others that you_were treated poorly_— and may provide relief, “the ugly_shadow_to that is holding that resentment_over_time — a grudge,” she says._“Where_every_time I think of it_I'm angry again.”

It's worth finding a_way past the seething stage, because it's not just_about you, Karmarkar_reminds us. Say “you had_a_bad_day at work so you're rude to someone online …_you get_these spreading ripples_because people are trying to find outlets to express that_frustration.

It's not just hurtful to