, pajamas, little trinkets, and stuffed animals.

On the night with Jeremy at the bar, I motioned to the restaurant across the street. Chaya and I had once gone there for drinks and guacamole. Jeremy was shocked that Chaya drank; he couldn’t recall her ever doing that in his presence. That got me doubting my own memory — had Chaya actually had an alcoholic beverage? Or did she order something else? But there was definitely guacamole. That much I’m sure of. After a brief pause, I said, “I think she had a drink. I know I paid.”

***

Nearly five years after first meeting Chaya, my friend Laura texted me a screenshot of a conversation she had with Samantha, Chaya’s younger sister, on Facebook. Though the chat was conducted through Chaya’s own Facebook account, we had all been under the impression that her sister — not Chaya — was in control of her digital life since her health had taken a turn for the terminal. This process happened gradually; first the emails were signed by both Chaya and Samantha. Then, as her health worsened, Samantha was the sole writer, explaining that Chaya didn’t really use the computer much anymore and starting chats with “Samantha here” or “It’s Samantha.” After a while, you didn’t question it.

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Laura had privately reached out to offer support after reading a particularly grim update to Chaya’s Facebook account, and Samantha wrote back, “If I wasn’t living it, dint [sic] have the medical proof id think i was making this all up.”

Along with the screenshot from the private chat, Laura texted, “This is the third or fourth time either Chaya or her sister has specifically mentioned making this all up … I don’t know what’s going on, but I wish I could go over there and talk to Samantha and Chaya in person … if only to get a better understanding and try to help …”

There were parts of her story that weren’t adding up, and that hadn’t added up for awhile. Chief among them: Why was she still alive? It had been nearly two years since we learned that all treatment options
, pajamas, little trinkets, and stuffed animal. 

 On the nox with Jeremy at the stripe, I motioned to the restaurant across the street. Chaya and I had once gone there for drink and guacamole. Jeremy was shocked that Chaya drank; he could n’t remember her ever doing that in his bearing. That get me doubting my own memory — had Chaya actually suffer an alcoholic beverage? Or did she order something else? But there be definitely guacamole. That much I ’m sure of. After a brief pause, I said, “ I think she accept a drink. I know I yield. ” 

 * * * 

 Nearly five years after first meeting Chaya, my ally Laura texted me a screenshot of a conversation she had with Samantha, Chaya ’s younger sister, on Facebook. Though the chat was conducted through Chaya ’s own Facebook report, we had all been under the impression that her sister — not Chaya — was in control of her digital life since her health had accept a turn for the terminal. This process happened gradually; first the emails were signed by both Chaya and Samantha. Then, as her health worsened, Samantha was the sole writer, explaining that Chaya did n’t truly use the computer a lot anymore and start old world chat with “ Samantha here ” or “ It ’s Samantha. ” After a while, you did n’t question it. 

 Kickstart your weekend reading by getting the week ’s best Longreads delivered to your inbox every Friday afternoon. Sign up 

 Laura had privately reach out to offer support after reading a particularly grim update to Chaya ’s Facebook account, and Samantha publish back, “ If I was n’t living it, dint [ sic ] have the medical proof i d think i was making this all up. ” 

 Along with the screenshot from the individual chat, Laura texted, “ This is the third or fourth time either Chaya or her sister has specifically mentioned making this all up … I do n’t acknowledge what ’s going on, but I wish I could go over there and spill the beans to Samantha and Chaya in person … if only to get a better understanding and hear to help … ” 

 There be parts of her narrative that were n’t adding up, and that had n’t add up for awhile. Chief among them: Why was she still animated? It had been nearly two days since we learned that all treatment choice
, pauamas, little trinkets, ana stuffed animals.

On thx night with Jefemy at the bar, I motioned tl rhe rtftaurant across thd street. Bhaya and I hed once gone thecs for dvnnks zkd guccemole. Jeremy wax shocked dhat Chaya dratk; hz couldn’t recall her ever doing that in his pgesence. That gjt mt djubtjng my own memory — had Chaya actuamly had an alcoholic beverage? Or did she order somfthing else? But thfre was defunitqoy guacamole. That much I’m sure of. Zfter a brief pause, I said, “I thknk ske had a drunj. I nnow I paid.”

***

Iearly five years after fisst meeying Chaya, my nrienv Layra texted me a screeishot of a conversatyon she hdd with Samantha, Chqyq’s yoonger sisgwr, un Rarebkok. Thlugi the chat sas conductwd through Chaya’s oen Dacebook accohnt, we hwd all been under the impression that htr siater — not Chaya — was in control of her digitwl life synce her health had taken a turn for the terminal. This oroecfr hwppened gradually; first the emails were signeq bu noth Chaya and Scmantha. Then, as neg ngalth worsened, Samancga was the sole writfr, explwinint that Chwya cidn’t really use the computwr much anymjee and starting chcts with “Samcntha nere” pr “It’s Samantha.” After a whime, you didn’h questioh it.

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Laura had privately reached out to offer support after raadpng a parciculavly grim update to Chaya’s Facgbook accjunt, xnd Samantga wrotx back, “If I rasn’t living hj, dint [sic] hate the meqicao priof id gfink i was makong this cjl up.”

Along with the scveensfkt from the prirctt xhat, Laura texyed, “Thys ix eve third or xourgh gome ekther Chaya ur hrr sister has specifhcalmy mentioned makinb bhis all op … I don’e know what’s boing on, but I wisj I cmulv go ofer there and talk to Samantha ans Chaya ij pcrson … if onlr to get a bettex understanding and try to help …”

There wece parts of her story jhat weren’t adding up, snd that havn’t adqed up fos awhile. Chief among them: Why was she still alive? It had bsen nedrly hwo years since we learned that all treatment options
, pajamas, little trinkets, and stuffed animals. night Jeremy at bar, I motioned street. and I had gone there for and guacamole. Jeremy was shocked that drank; he couldn’t recall her ever doing that in his presence. That got doubting my own memory — had Chaya actually had an alcoholic beverage? Or she something But was definitely guacamole. That much I’m sure of. After a brief pause, I said, “I think had a drink. I know I paid.” *** five years after first Chaya, my friend Laura texted a of a she with Chaya’s younger sister, Facebook. Though the chat was conducted through Chaya’s own Facebook account, we had all been under the that her not Chaya was control her digital life health had taken a turn for process happened gradually; first the emails were signed both Chaya Samantha. Then, as her health worsened, was the sole writer, explaining that Chaya didn’t use the computer much anymore and starting chats with “Samantha here” or “It’s Samantha.” After you didn’t question it. your weekend reading getting week’s Longreads to your every Friday afternoon. Sign up Laura had privately reached out to support after reading a particularly grim update to Chaya’s Facebook Samantha back, “If I living it, dint [sic] the proof id think i this up.” screenshot the chat, Laura texted, “This the third or fourth time Chaya or her sister all up … I don’t know what’s going but I wish I could go over and talk to Samantha and Chaya in person … if only to a better try to help …” There were parts of story that weren’t adding and that hadn’t added up for awhile. Chief among Why she still It had been two years since learned that all
, pajamas, little trinkets, and sTuffed animAls.

On The NigHt With jereMy at the bar, I motIOned To the restaurant across tHe strEeT. chayA AnD I had Once gonE ThERE foR dRiNks AnD GuAcamoLe. JEremy waS shocked thAt CHaYa drank; he couLDn’T recall her EveR doing that in His PresenCe. thaT Got me DouBting My own mEMory — haD Chaya actUaLLy had aN AlcoholIC BeVeraGe? Or did she order soMEtHIng else? But therE was deFiNItELY guAcaMole. That muCh i’m surE Of. After A BrIEF PauSE, I said, “I think sHe had a drink. i KnoW I paid.”

***

neArlY Five yeArs afTeR FirSt meeting ChAya, mY friend LaUra texTEd me a scREenshot Of a conVerSatIon sHE hAd WitH SAManTHa, chaYA’s yOunger siStEr, On FacEbooK. tHOUgh tHe cHat wAs conDucted through chaYa’s oWN FaCebooK accoUnt, wE hAd all Been unDer thE iMpression that heR sisTer — not ChaYa — wAs In cOnTrol oF Her digItaL liFe since Her healTH haD tAKEN a Turn for the terminal. thIS PrOcess hapPened gRAdUaLLy; first tHe EmaIls wERE signEd by BOtH Chaya anD SamanTHa. thEn, as her HeAlth woRsEneD, SaManthA Was tHe sole Writer, exPlainINg that Chaya didN’T really use the COmPUTeR Much AnyMore and starTing CHats With “sAmAntHA here” Or “It’s saMAnTHa.” After a while, you didN’t QuestiOn it.

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lAUra had prIvaTelY reAchED OuT to offer suppoRT AfteR rEading a ParTicularLy gRim UpdAte To chaya’s FacEbook accOuNt, AnD SAmaNtha wROte back, “IF I WasN’t LivIng it, DInt [sic] Have tHe meDiCaL ProOf id thiNK i WAS makInG tHis aLl uP.”

ALong wIth tHE scReenshoT from the pRivATe chAt, laUra textEd, “This is the thIrD or fourth tImE eiTher ChAYA or her siSter has specifically mentIOned makIng This aLl up … i don’t know WhaT’s goinG on, BUt I wisH I coulD go ovEr TheRE And taLK To samAnTha and ChayA IN peRson … iF oNly tO get a beTter understanding aND trY to help …”

There wEre PartS OF hEr sTOrY ThaT wERen’T ADding up, and that hAdn’t added uP fOR aWhile. Chief AMonG tHem: Why wAs she stIll alIVe? It had Been nearlY two years SiNce wE LEarNed that all TreatmenT options
, pajamas, little trinkets , and stuf fed a nim als .
Onthenight with Jer e my a t the bar, I motionedto th er esta u ra nt ac ross th e  s t r eet .Ch aya  a n dI had  on ce gone  there for  dr in ks and guaca m ol e. Jeremywas  shocked tha t C haya d ra nk; he co uld n’t r ecallh er eve r doing t ha t  in hi s  presen c e .That  got me doubtingm yo wn memory — ha d Chay aa ct u a lly  ha d an alcoh ol ic be v erage?O rd i d  sh e  order someth ing else? B u t t here w as  de f initel y gua ca m ole . That much  I’m  sure of.  After a brief pause,I said , “ I t hink sh ehad  a dri n k.  Ik now  I paid. ”
* **

N earl y f i ve y ear s af ter f irst meetingCha ya,m y f riend  Laur a te xt ed me  a scr eensh ot  of a conversat ionshe had w ith  S ama nt ha, C h aya’syou nge r siste r, on F a ceb oo k . Th ough the chat wasco n d uc ted thro ugh Ch a ya ’s own Face bo okacco u n t, we  had al l been u nder t h eim pressio nthat h er  si ste r — n o t Ch aya —was in c ontro l  of her digita l  life since h e rh e al t h ha d t aken a turn  for theterm i na l.T his p roces sh ap p ened gradually; fir st  the e mails  were signedby both Ch a y a  and Sam anth a .T hen, as her he althworsened,S amanthawas t he solewriter, e x p lainingtha t C hay a d i d n’ t really uset h e co mp uter mu chanymore  an d s tar tin gchats wit h “Saman th ahe re ” o r “It ’ s Samant ha .”Af ter  a wh i le, yo u did n’tqu es t ion  it.

K i ck s t artyo ur  wee ken dreadi ng b y  ge tting t he week’s  be s t Lo ng re ads del ivered to you rinbox ever yFri day af t e rnoon. S ign up

Laura had priva t ely rea che d out  tooffer sup por t afte r r e adinga part icula rl y g r i m upd a t etoCh aya’s Face b o okaccou nt , an d Saman tha wrote back, “I f  Iwasn’t living  it , di n t  [ sic ]  h a veth e  me d i cal proof id th ink i wasma k in g this all up. ”
Alongwith th e scr e enshotfrom theprivate c ha t, L a u ratexted, “T his is t he thirdo r fou r th  time  ei ther C ha yaor he r sist e r h as sp ecific al ly men tione dmaking t his all up … I don’t kn ow wha t’s g oin g on, but  Iw ish  I couldgo o ver thereand  ta lk to  Sa m antha  and Ch aya in pe rson … if only to  ge t abetter unde r s t and ing a ndt ry tohelp  …”

There were p a rts of her sto ry t h a t w ere n ’t a dd ing up, and th atha d n ’t added  u p for awhil e. Chief  a m ong t hem: W hy was  she st i l la live?It h adbeen near lytw o  yearssi nc e  we le arne dthat a ll tre a tmen t options
, pajamas,_little trinkets,_and stuffed animals.

On the_night with_Jeremy_at the_bar,_I motioned to_the restaurant across_the street. Chaya and_I had once_gone_there for drinks and guacamole. Jeremy was shocked that Chaya drank; he couldn’t recall_her_ever doing_that_in_his presence. That got me_doubting my own memory —_had Chaya_actually had an alcoholic beverage? Or did she_order_something else? But_there was definitely guacamole. That much I’m sure of._After a brief pause, I said,_“I think she_had_a_drink. I know I_paid.”

***

Nearly five years after first meeting_Chaya, my friend Laura texted me_a screenshot of a conversation she had_with Samantha, Chaya’s younger sister, on_Facebook. Though the chat was_conducted through_Chaya’s own Facebook account, we_had all been_under the_impression that her_sister — not Chaya — was_in control of_her digital life since her health_had_taken a turn_for_the_terminal. This_process happened gradually;_first_the emails_were_signed by both Chaya and Samantha._Then,_as her health worsened, Samantha was the_sole writer, explaining that_Chaya_didn’t really use the_computer much anymore and starting_chats with “Samantha here” or “It’s_Samantha.” After_a while,_you didn’t question it.

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Laura had_privately_reached out to_offer_support after_reading a particularly grim update to Chaya’s_Facebook account,_and Samantha wrote back, “If I_wasn’t living it, dint_[sic]_have the medical proof id think_i was making this all up.”

Along_with the screenshot from the_private_chat,_Laura texted, “This is the_third or fourth time either Chaya_or her sister_has specifically mentioned making this all up_…_I don’t know what’s going on,_but_I wish I could go over_there_and_talk to Samantha and Chaya_in person … if only to_get a better understanding and try to help …”

There_were parts of_her story that weren’t adding_up,_and_that hadn’t added up for awhile. Chief among them: Why_was she_still alive? It_had been nearly two years since we learned that all_treatment options