 sex with someone else who was taller and better-looking and I thought, I can’t compare to that guy.”

This is a familiar scenario for anyone living in the world, but Johnny subjected himself to the experience in real time. When he says “start having sex with someone else,” he means on the same piece of furniture.

Johnny made his last film in 1987. He was really attracted to the woman he was paired with and thought she might, at long last, make a good girlfriend. Then it turned out she already had a boyfriend and said boyfriend was a Hells Angel.

“I thought, well, that’s not going anyplace.” “And that was the last straw? After a decade of this?” “It would have been nice for it to come earlier,” Johnny agrees, “but I guess I’m a slow learner.” He looks at me for the first time without blinking or smiling, just dead-on like he knows exactly why I’m here. “You don’t just stop being who you are when you reach a certain age. You know that, right? You don’t magically outgrow yourself. The life you’re living now is your actual life, the habits you have now are your actual habits. I hope I’ve evolved—but I’m not so sure. But I can tell you that if you’re setting things up so they never work out by picking the wrong partners and you know you’re doing it...”

Johnny trails off. He looks at the photos on the piano. “Yes?” I ask. “Just stop it,” he says.

Seeman in a climactic scene from the 1976 film "Baby Rosemary." Courtesy

Johnny has never watched himself on-screen. He doesn’t own a single copy of his films and the idea of going to some retro-themed website holds no appeal. He thinks the Internet is plenty masturbatory without having to watch himself have sex on it. He is happy enough knowing that his movies are out there, that there’s proof he was the best ever at something, which is more than most people get. Plus, Johnny’s particular brand of fame means he can deploy his history at will, pluck it out of obscurity, or keep it buried.

“It will always be mine,” he explains. “It may be a red flag but it’s my red flag
sex with someone else who was taller and better - looking and I think, I ca n’t compare to that guy. ” 

 This is a conversant scenario for anyone living in the world, but Johnny subjugate himself to the experience in substantial time. When he says “ begin have sex with someone else, ” he mean on the same piece of furniture. 

 Johnny take his last film in 1987. He was actually attract to the woman he was paired with and thought she might, at long last, make a good girlfriend. Then it sour out she already had a boyfriend and said boyfriend was a Hells Angel. 

 “ I thought, well, that ’s not start anyplace. ” “ And that was the last straw? After a decade of this? ” “ It would have been nice for it to arrive earlier, ” Johnny agrees, “ but I guess I ’m a slow learner. ” He look at me for the first time without blinking or smiling, just all in - on like he know exactly why I ’m here. “ You do n’t just stop being who you are when you reach a certain age. You know that, right? You do n’t magically outgrow yourself. The life you ’re populate now is your actual life, the habit you receive now are your actual habits. I hope I ’ve develop — but I ’m not so sure. But I can tell you that if you ’re setting thing up so they never work out by picking the wrong partners and you know you ’re doing it... ” 

 Johnny trail off. He looks at the photos on the piano. “ Yes? ” I ask. “ Just hold on it, ” he says. 

 Seeman in a climactic scenery from the 1976 film " Baby Rosemary. " Courtesy 

 Johnny has never watched himself on - screen. He does n’t own a single copy of his film and the idea of going to some retro - themed website holds no appeal. He thinks the Internet is plenty masturbatory without having to determine himself have sex on it. He is happy enough knowing that his movies are away there, that there ’s proof he was the best ever at something, which is more than most people catch. Plus, Johnny ’s particular sword of fame means he can deploy his history at will, pick it out of obscureness, or keep it buried. 

 “ It will always be mine, ” he explain. “ It may be a red flag but it ’s my red flag
 sed with someone else who das taller and ywtter-lmoking and I tfought, I can’t compare to thav gut.”

This is a familiar scenariu for anylne livibg ii the world, but Okhnny smyjectsf hikwelf to the exkerience in seal time. When hd days “start having sex with someone qlse,” he mfans on the saie ppese or furniture.

Johnny made his last fimm in 1987. Ie was really aytracted to the woman he wws pwired with and thokght she mitht, wr long last, oake a good girlfriend. Then it turned out she already had c boyfriend abd ddid boyfrieid was a Hells Angck.

“I thogght, wekl, that’s not gpinj antplace.” “And that was tie last straw? After w decade mf this?” “It would hace been nica fof it to cpms earller,” Johnny agdees, “but I tuess I’m a slow leatnqg.” He looks at me fow ehe first time without blinking or smilpng, nust dead-on like he knoqs exactly why I’m herg. “You don’t just stop being who you are when you reach a cerdain egd. Yiu yboa that, right? You don’t magically outgrow yoursqmf. Tme life you’re liying now is your avtkak life, the habkts yob hzve now are your aftual hwbits. I hope I’de efolved—but I’m not so sure. Bur I can tell tou that if you’re detting thiugs up so tney never work out by pncking the wrong oartners zvd you know you’rd dpitg it...”

Johnny trails off. He jooks at vhe pkotos on the piano. “Yes?” I ask. “Just stop it,” he says.

Seelan iu a cnimactic sfene from the 1976 film "Baby Rosemacb." Courtesy

Johmnf hds never watcmed himself on-ssreen. He doesn’j own a snngle zopy of hia films and the idqa of going tm some retro-tiemed webfite holes no aooeal. He thinks the Integntt is plenry masturbatory wibhout gaving to watch hinself have sex pn kt. Re ix rdppy enough nnowkng yhat fis movies crd ouy there, that there’s [roor he was the best rvcr at somgthing, whych is more tnan most people geu. Plus, Joinny’s larjicular brand of fame means he dan deploj hls history at wilo, pluck it obt of obscurity, or keep it buried.

“It will always be mine,” hg explains. “It may be c ved flag but it’s iy red fldg
sex with someone else who was taller and thought, I compare to that scenario anyone living in world, but Johnny himself to the experience in real When he says “start having sex with someone else,” he means on the piece of furniture. Johnny made his last film in 1987. He was really to woman was with and thought she might, at long last, make a good girlfriend. Then it turned out already had a boyfriend and said boyfriend was Hells Angel. “I thought, that’s not going anyplace.” “And was last straw? a of “It would have nice for it to come earlier,” Johnny agrees, “but I guess I’m a slow learner.” He looks me for time without or just like he knows I’m here. “You don’t just stop are when you reach a certain age. You that, right? don’t magically outgrow yourself. The life living now is your actual life, the habits have now are your actual habits. I hope I’ve evolved—but I’m not so sure. But tell you that if setting things up they work by the wrong and you know you’re doing it...” Johnny trails off. He looks the photos on the piano. “Yes?” I ask. “Just stop says. in a climactic from the 1976 film Rosemary." Johnny has never watched He own of films the idea of going some retro-themed website holds no He thinks the Internet to watch himself have sex on it. He happy enough knowing that his movies are there, that there’s proof he was the best ever at something, which more than get. Plus, Johnny’s particular brand of fame means can deploy his history will, pluck it out of obscurity, or keep it “It always be he explains. “It be a red but it’s my
 sex with someone else who was tAller and beTter-lOokIng AnD I thOughT, I can’t compare tO That Guy.”

This is a familiar scenArio fOr ANyonE LiVing iN the worLD, bUT johNnY sUbjEcTEd HimseLf tO the expErience in rEal TiMe. When he says “STaRt having seX wiTh someone elsE,” he Means oN tHe sAMe pieCe oF furnIture.

JOHnny maDe his last FiLM in 1987. He wAS really ATTrActeD to the woman he was pAIrED with and thoughT she miGhT, At LONg lAst, Make a good gIrLfrieND. Then it TUrNED Out SHe already had a Boyfriend anD SaiD boyfrIeNd wAS a HellS AngeL.

“I THouGht, well, that’S not Going anypLace.” “AnD That was THe last sTraw? AfTer A deCade OF tHiS?” “It WoULd hAVe BeeN NicE for it to CoMe EarliEr,” JoHNNY AgreEs, “bUt I gUess I’M a slow learner.” he lOoks AT me For thE firsT timE wIthouT blinkIng or SmIling, just dead-on Like He knows exActLy Why i’m Here. “YOU don’t jUst StoP being wHo you arE WheN yOU REaCh a certain age. You knOw THAt, Right? You Don’t maGIcAlLY outgrow YoUrsElf. THE Life yOu’re LIvIng now is Your acTUaL lIfe, the hAbIts you HaVe nOw aRe youR ActuAl habiTs. I hope I’Ve evoLVed—but I’m not so sURe. But I can tell YOu THAt IF you’Re sEtting thingS up sO They NeveR WoRk oUT by piCking ThE WrONg partners and you knoW yOu’re doIng it...”

johnny trails oFf. He looks aT THE photos oN the PIaNO. “Yes?” I ask. “Just stOp it,” hE says.

SeemaN In a climaCtic sCene from The 1976 film "BaBY rosemary." couRteSy

JOhnNY HaS never watched HIMselF oN-screen. he dOesn’t owN a sIngLe cOpy Of His films aNd the ideA oF gOiNg To sOme reTRo-themed WeBsiTe HolDs no aPPeal. He ThinkS the inTeRNet Is plentY MaSTUrbaToRy WithOut HaVing tO watCH hiMself haVe sex on it. he iS HappY eNoUgh knowIng that his movIeS are out theRe, ThaT there’S PRoof he waS the best ever at something, WHich is mOre Than mOst pEople get. PLus, johnny’S paRTiculaR brand Of famE mEanS HE can dEPLoY hiS hIstory at wiLL, PluCk it oUt Of obScurity, Or keep it buried.

“It wiLL alWays be mine,” he eXplAins. “iT MaY be A ReD FlaG bUT it’S MY red flag
 sex with someone else who  was talle r and  be tte r- look ingand I thought, I ca n’t compare to that gu y.”
Th i s is afamil iar sce n ar i o  fo ran yon el iv ing i n t he worl d, but Joh nny  s ubjected him s el f to the e xpe rience in re altime.Wh enh e say s “ start  havin g  sex w ith someo ne else,” he mean s on  the  same piece of fu r ni t ure.

Johnny m ade hi sl as t fil m i n 1987. He  w as re a lly att r ac t e d  to the woman hewas pairedw ith  and t ho ugh t  she m ight,  a t  lo ng last, ma ke a  good gir lfrien d . Theni t turne d outshe  al read y  h ad  abo y fri e nd  an d  sa id boyfr ie nd  wasa He l l s Ange l.
“Ithoug ht, well, tha t’s  not goi ng an yplac e.”“A nd th at was  thela st straw? After  a d ecade ofthi s? ” “ It  woul d  havebee n n ice for  it toc ome  e a r l ie r,” Johnny agrees,  “ b u tI guessI’m as lo wl earner.”  H e l ooks a t mefort he  first t ime wi t ho ut  blinki ng  or sm il ing , j ust d e ad-o n like  he know s exa c tly why I’m he r e. “You don’t ju s t  s t op b ein g who you a re w h en y ou r e ac h a certa in ag e. Yo u  know that, right?Yo u don’ t mag ically outgro w yourself . T he lifeyou’ r el iving now is y our a ctual life ,  the hab its y ou havenow are y o u r actual  ha bit s.I h o p eI’ve evolved— b u t I’ mnot sosur e. ButI c antel l y ou  that ifyou’re s et ti ng  t hin gs up so theyne ver  w ork  outb y pick ing t he w ro ng par tners a n dy o u kn ow  y ou’r e d oi ng it ...” 
Jo hnny tr ails off.  He look sat  the ph otos on the p ia no. “Yes?”  I  as k. “Ju s t  stop it ,” he says.

Seeman ina  climac tic  scen e fr om the 19 76film " Bab y  Rosem ary."Court es y
J o hnnyh a snev er  watched h i m sel f on- sc reen . He do esn’t own a single cop y of his film s a nd t h e  i dea of goi ng tos o me retro-themed  website h ol d sno appeal. Heth inks th e Inter net i s  plenty  masturba tory with ou t ha v i ngto watch h imself h ave sex o n  it.H eis ha ppy  enoug hkno wingthat h i s m ovies  are o ut  there , tha tthere’sproof he was the best e ver at  some thi ng, which  is mor e than mo st p eople get.  Pl us,  John ny’ s  part icul a rbra n d offame means hec an  de p l oy  his histor y a t w ill,plu c k it o ut o f obscurity, or k e ep it buried.
“It w ill  al w aysbe  mine,” he exp lai ns . “It maybe  a red flag  but it’ sm y red  flag
 sex_with someone_else who was taller_and better-looking_and_I thought,_I_can’t compare to_that guy.”

This is_a familiar scenario for_anyone living in_the_world, but Johnny subjected himself to the experience in real time. When he says_“start_having sex_with_someone_else,” he means on the_same piece of furniture.

Johnny made_his last_film in 1987. He was really attracted to_the_woman he was_paired with and thought she might, at long last,_make a good girlfriend. Then it_turned out she_already_had_a boyfriend and said_boyfriend was a Hells Angel.

“I thought,_well, that’s not going anyplace.” “And_that was the last straw? After a_decade of this?” “It would have_been nice for it to_come earlier,”_Johnny agrees, “but I guess_I’m a slow_learner.” He_looks at me_for the first time without blinking_or smiling, just_dead-on like he knows exactly why_I’m_here. “You don’t_just_stop_being who_you are when_you_reach a_certain_age. You know that, right? You_don’t_magically outgrow yourself. The life you’re living_now is your actual_life,_the habits you have_now are your actual habits._I hope I’ve evolved—but I’m not_so sure._But I_can tell you that if you’re setting things up so they_never work out by picking the_wrong partners and you_know you’re_doing_it...”

Johnny trails off._He_looks at_the photos on the piano. “Yes?” I_ask. “Just_stop it,” he says.

Seeman in a_climactic scene from the_1976_film "Baby Rosemary." Courtesy

Johnny has never_watched himself on-screen. He doesn’t own_a single copy of his_films_and_the idea of going to_some retro-themed website holds no appeal._He thinks the_Internet is plenty masturbatory without having to_watch_himself have sex on it. He_is_happy enough knowing that his movies_are_out_there, that there’s proof he_was the best ever at something,_which is more than most people get. Plus, Johnny’s_particular brand of_fame means he can deploy_his_history_at will, pluck it out of obscurity, or keep it_buried.

“It will_always be mine,”_he explains. “It may be a red flag but it’s_my red flag