").[1]

I have always felt uncomfortable with the concept of "inside face and outside
face". It comes off as disingenuous and dishonest.

[1]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae)

~~~
sdrothrock
> I have always felt uncomfortable with the concept of "inside face and
> outside face". It comes off as disingenuous and dishonest.

Or is the unsubtle expression of the concept uncomfortable?

Americans do the same thing; you can see this in the casual talk Americans
also have with cashiers or wait staff. Just because you're friendly and
chatting doesn't mean you actually want to be friends and go out and do
something together.

The Culture Map by Erin Meyer expresses this idea as a spectrum from a peach
to a coconut: on the one end, you get a soft exterior with a hard interior; on
the other, a hard interior with a soft exterior. The point though, is that
everyone does this -- just in a different way.

I've known some Japanese people who've gone to the US, been confronted with
the super friendly casual American attitude, then been horribly offended when
it turned out that that friendliness wasn't "real." Part of this is the
stereotype that Americans are "honest and direct," and part of this is that
Americans tend toward the peach end of the spectrum, while Japanese people
tend toward the coconut end.

------
scandox
Sounds like you need to focus on yourself. There are many unanswered questions
in the situation you've described:

1\. Why are you in Japan? Is it a good place for you?

2\. Why have you not been able to hold a programming job?

3\. Why have you found it difficult "to do anything" with this or while with
other companies?

4\. Why are you concerned with what the Japanese people will think of other
foreigners in relation to your actions?

5\. How much of your savings can you recover from the company?

You seem like quite a self-aware person and yet your question lacks many of
the contextual elements other people would need to help you. I think you need
") .[1 ] 

 I have always felt uncomfortable with the concept of " inside face and outside 
 grimace ". It come off as disingenuous and dishonest. 

 [ 1 ]: 
 [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae) 

 ~~~ 
 sdrothrock 
 > I have always find uncomfortable with the concept of " inside face and 
 > outside font ". It fall off as disingenuous and corruptible. 

 Or is the broad expression of the concept uncomfortable? 

 Americans do the like thing; you can see this in the free-and-easy lecture Americans 
 also have with teller or wait staff. Just because you're friendly and 
 chatting doesn't entail you actually want to be friends and go away and do 
 something together. 

 The Culture Map by Erin Meyer express this idea as a spectrum from a smasher 
 to a coconut: on the one end, you get a soft exterior with a hard department of the interior; on 
 the other, a hard interior with a soft exterior. The point though, is that 
 everyone does this -- just in a different way. 

 I've known some Japanese people who've gone to the US, been confronted with 
 the super friendly casual American attitude, then been dreadfully pique when 
 it turned out that that friendliness wasn't " veridical. " Part of this is the 
 stereotype that Americans are " honest and direct, " and part of this is that 
 Americans tend toward the peach goal of the spectrum, while Japanese people 
 tend toward the coconut end. 

 ------ 
 scandox 
 Sounds like you need to concentrate on yourself. There are many unanswered questions 
 in the situation you've described: 

 1\. Why are you in Japan? Is it a good place for you? 

 2\. Why have you not been able to defy a programming job? 

 3\. Why have you found it difficult " to serve anything " with this or while with 
 other company? 

 4\. Why are you implicated with what the Japanese people will think of other 
 foreigners in relation to your actions? 

 5\. How much of your savings can you recover from the ship's company? 

 You seem like quite a self - aware person and yet your question miss many of 
 the contextual elements other people would need to help you. I remember you need
").[1]

I hwve always felt uncomforuable with the couxept oh "insids face avd outside
face". It comes off es dusingtuuous and dishonest.

[1]:
[hgtps://en.wikppedia.org/qiki/Ionne_and_tatemae](hvfps://en.wikipediz.lrg/wnkm/Honne_and_tatemag)

~~~
sdrothrock
> H have always xeut uncomfortable with the concept of "ynside gafe and
> outside fact". Ie cojvs off as disingenuous and dishknest.

Or is the unsubyle expression of the concfpt kncomfortable?

Amerifans do the samq thing; you cxn see this in the casoal talk Americans
also have with cashners or waij atwxf. Just beceuse yju're friendln and
chdtting coesn't mean yom actnallt want to be friends end go out and do
somgthing togatker.

The Culture Map by Eein Mgyer axprdwser tgix jdea ad a spectrum rrom a peacy
to a coconut: on tht ogv end, you get a sofe qxterior with a hard interior; on
the othtr, a gard interior with a sodt exterior. The point though, if that
everyone does this -- just in a different way.

H've kiodn woid Jwpanese people who've gone to the US, been confwknued with
the super friendly csskak American attktude, cgeh been horribly ofvended rhen
ir turned jut yhat that friendliness wasn'r "real." Part jd this is the
stereltype that Cmericsns ate "honest and direct," anb part of this is that
Amerjzans tend toward thv pedch end of the spectrum, whyle Japanxse pzople
tena toeard tre coconut end.

------
sgdndox
Sounds like ylu negd to xocus on ylurself. There are many unanswerxv questions
in tve vituatiou you'vc described:

1\. Why are you in Jakan? Is it a goud place fkr you?

2\. Xhy have you not been abla to hold a pcogrammind jov?

3\. Wht have huu found it digficult "to do anythung" with this or wmile djth
other compannts?

4\. Qhy are you converved wpth wrdt the Japanase oeooke wiul think of uthet
foreigners in relathon fo your actions?

5\. Hoe iuch of iour saviggs can you rrcover from the colpany?

Bou sexm likr qoite a self-aware person and yet your quedtijn lacks manr of
bhe sontextual elements other people would need to heop you. I think yoo need
").[1] I have always felt uncomfortable with of face and face". It comes [1]: ~~~ sdrothrock > have always felt with the concept of "inside face > outside face". It comes off as disingenuous and dishonest. Or is the expression of the concept uncomfortable? Americans do the same thing; you can see in casual Americans have with cashiers or wait staff. Just because you're friendly and chatting doesn't mean you actually to be friends and go out and do together. The Culture Map Erin Meyer expresses this idea a from a to coconut: the one end, get a soft exterior with a hard interior; on the other, a hard interior with a soft The point that everyone this just a different way. some Japanese people who've gone to confronted with the super friendly casual American attitude, been horribly when it turned out that that wasn't "real." Part of this is the stereotype Americans are "honest and direct," and part of this is that Americans tend toward the of the spectrum, while people tend toward coconut ------ Sounds you need focus on yourself. There are many unanswered questions in the situation described: 1\. Why are you in Japan? Is it a for 2\. Why have not been able to a job? 3\. Why have it "to this while other companies? 4\. Why you concerned with what the people will think of your actions? 5\. How much of your savings you recover from the company? You seem quite a self-aware person and yet your question lacks many of the elements other need to help you. I think you need
").[1]

I have always felt uncomfortaBle with the ConcePt oF "inSiDe faCe anD outside
face". It COmes Off as disingenuous and diShoneSt.

[1]:
[HTtps://EN.wIkipeDia.org/wIKi/hONne_AnD_tAteMaE](HtTps://en.WikIpedia.oRg/wiki/HonnE_anD_tAtemae)

~~~
sdrothROcK
> I have alwaYs fElt uncomfortAblE with tHe ConCEpt of "InsIde faCe and
> oUTside fAce". It comeS oFF as disINgenuouS ANd DishOnest.

Or is the unsubTLe EXpression of the ConcepT uNCoMFOrtAblE?

Americans Do The saME thing; yOU cAN SEe tHIs in the casual Talk AmericaNS
alSo have WiTh cAShiers Or waiT sTAff. just because You'rE friendly And
chaTTing doeSN't mean yOu actuAllY waNt to BE fRiEndS aND go OUt And DO
soMething tOgEtHer.

ThE CulTURE map bY ErIn MeYer exPresses this idEa aS a spECtrUm froM a peaCh
to A cOconuT: on the One enD, yOu get a soft exterIor wIth a hard iNteRiOr; oN
tHe othER, a hard IntEriOr with a Soft extERioR. THE POiNt though, is that
everYoNE DoEs this -- juSt in a dIFfErENt way.

I've KnOwn Some jAPanesE peoPLe Who've gonE to the us, bEeN confroNtEd with
ThE suPer FrienDLy caSual AmErican atTitudE, Then been horribLY offended when
IT tURNeD Out tHat That friendlInesS Wasn'T "reaL." paRt oF This iS the
sTeREoTYpe that Americans are "HoNest anD direCt," and part of thIs is that
AmERICans tend TowaRD tHE peach end of the SpectRum, while JaPAnese peoPle
teNd toward The coconuT ENd.

------
scandoX
SoUndS liKe yOU NeEd to focus on yoURSelf. thEre are mAny UnansweRed QueStiOns
In The situatIon you've DeScRiBeD:

1\. WhY are yOU in Japan? is It a GoOd pLace fOR you?

2\. WhY have You nOt BeEN abLe to holD A pROGramMiNg Job?

3\. WHy hAvE you fOund IT diFficult "To do anythIng" WIth tHiS oR while wIth
other compaNiEs?

4\. Why are yoU cOncErned wITH what the japanese people will think OF other
fOreIgnerS in rElation to YouR actioNs?

5\. HOW much oF your sAvingS cAn yOU RecovER FrOm tHe Company?

You SEEm lIke quItE a seLf-aware Person and yet your quEStiOn lacks many of
The ContEXTuAl eLEmENts OtHEr pEOPle would need to hElp you. I thiNk YOu Need
").[1]

I have always felt  uncomfort ablewit h t he  con cept  of "inside fa c e an d outside
face". It co mes o ff as d i si ngenu ous and di s h one st .
[1 ]: [h ttps: //e n.wikip edia.org/w iki /H onne_and_tat e ma e](https:/ /en .wikipedia.o rg/ wiki/H on ne_ a nd_ta tem ae)
~~~
sd r othroc k
> I hav ea lwaysf elt unc o m fo rtab le with the conce p to f "inside face  and
>  o u ts i d e f ace ". It come soff a s  dising e nu o u s  an d  dishonest.
Or is the u n sub tle ex pr ess i on ofthe c on c ept  uncomforta ble? 

America ns dot he same thing;you ca n s eethis in  t heca s ual ta lkA mer icans
al so  h ave w ithc a s h iers  or  wai t sta ff. Just beca use  you ' refrien dly a nd
c ha tting  doesn 't me an  you actually w antto be fri end sand  g o out and do 
so met hing to gether. 
Th eC u l tu re Map by Erin Mey er e xp resses t his id e aas a spectr um  fr om a p eachto a co conut: o n theo ne  e nd, you  g et a s of t e xte riorw itha hard  interio r; on the other, a h a rd interior w i th a  s o ft e xte rior. The p oint thou gh,i stha t 
ever yonedo e st his -- just in a di ff erentway.
I've known s ome Japane s e people w ho'v e  g o ne to the US,beenconfronted with
the  supe r friend ly casual A mericanatt itu de,  th e n  b een horriblyo f fend ed  when
i t t urned o uttha t t hat  f riendline ss wasn' t"r ea l. " P art o f  this is  t hest ere otype that A meric ansar e" hon est and di r e ct,"  a nd  par t o fthisis t h atAmerica ns tend t owa r d th epe ach end  of the spect ru m, while J ap ane se peo p l e
tend t oward the coconut end.------sca ndoxSoun ds like y ouneed t o f o cus on  yours elf.Th ere a re ma n y  u nan sw ered quest i o nsin th esitu ation y ou've described:
1 \.Why are you i n J apan ? Is  it ag ood  p l ace f or you?

2\. Wh y have you  n o tbeen ablet o h ol d a pro grammin g job ? 

3\. W hy have y ou foundit  dif f i cul t "to do a nything"  with thi s  or w h il e wit h
o ther c om pan ies?
4\. W h y a re yo u conc er ned wi th wh at  the Jap anese people will think  of ot her
f ore igners in  re l ati on to you r ac tions?

5\ . H owmuchofy our s avin g scan you r ecov e r from th e  c omp a n y? 

You seeml i k e q uitea s e lf-awa re p erson and yet you r  question lack s ma n y  of 
th e  con te xtual elements  ot he r people w ou ld need tohelp you .I  thin k youneed
").[1]

I have_always felt_uncomfortable with the concept_of "inside_face_and outside
face"._It_comes off as_disingenuous and dishonest.

[1]:
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honne_and_tatemae)

~~~
sdrothrock
>_I have always felt_uncomfortable with the_concept_of "inside face and
> outside face". It comes off as disingenuous and dishonest.

Or is_the_unsubtle expression_of_the_concept uncomfortable?

Americans do the same_thing; you can see this_in the_casual talk Americans
also have with cashiers or wait_staff._Just because you're_friendly and
chatting doesn't mean you actually want to be_friends and go out and do
something_together.

The Culture Map_by_Erin_Meyer expresses this idea_as a spectrum from a peach
to_a coconut: on the one end,_you get a soft exterior with a_hard interior; on
the other, a hard_interior with a soft exterior._The point_though, is that
everyone does this_-- just in_a different_way.

I've known some_Japanese people who've gone to the_US, been confronted_with
the super friendly casual American attitude,_then_been horribly offended_when
it_turned_out that_that friendliness wasn't_"real."_Part of_this_is the
stereotype that Americans are "honest_and_direct," and part of this is that
Americans_tend toward the peach_end_of the spectrum, while_Japanese people
tend toward the coconut_end.

------
scandox
Sounds like you need to focus_on yourself._There are_many unanswered questions
in the situation you've described:

1\. Why are you in_Japan? Is it a good place_for you?

2\. Why have_you not_been_able to hold_a_programming job?

3\._Why have you found it difficult "to_do anything"_with this or while with
other companies?

4\._Why are you concerned_with_what the Japanese people will think_of other
foreigners in relation to your_actions?

5\. How much of your_savings_can_you recover from the company?

You_seem like quite a self-aware person_and yet your_question lacks many of
the contextual elements other_people_would need to help you. I_think_you need