 don't know if you are working or studying in Japan... It's a bit confusing.
If you are starting your career, take some time to grow, to find your rythm or
a place that fits. If you are not there is always the opportunity to do the
exact same thing. Questioning yourself is a proof of maturity, just accept
those little pieces of doubt. Maybe you could find a mentor to help you get
better. You can be a better professional.

Anyway know that it is hard to ship, very few people manage to do it by
themselves.

\---

You have invested 50k to achieve your dream, "all your savings"... You have a
pair of balls that many people would love to have. You say it yourself, some
of this money is recoverable, so you just paid a bit to stay in Japan, which
seems like a dream to you.

The money problem are easy to work on, at least partially. I don't know your
precise situation but a lot of things can be reduced, in your personal
lifestyle or in the company. Just go to the bare minimum... It's often easier
than you think.

If you fear about going broke, think about it. You may have family or friends,
you know some people will always be there. It may not be what you expected,
but if (and I am not sure it's an option) the worst case is to go back to your
parents... so be it.

\---

It is just a symptom of this depression but let me get on a specific point.
You are labeling yourself as a "fake programmer" and "hiding english teacher".
Maybe it's hard to keep a job as a foreigner, maybe it does take some skills
to teach english, maybe you are just doing you best to settle here, but you
choose to take shame of this situation.

If you are a fraud on one thing it is the following: you are not the asshole
you pretend to be. You think that your problems are coming from you, you try
to improve. You care about what how your behavior could impact other
foreigners... Look at you.

Look at myself in the mirror and say "thank you" to the person you see.

\---

I have written in the past paragraphs all the things that I would have hated

don't know if you are working or studying in Japan... It's a bit confusing. 
 If you are depart your career, consume some time to grow, to find your rythm or 
 a stead that fits. If you are not there is constantly the opportunity to do the 
 accurate same thing. Questioning yourself is a proof of maturity, barely accept 
 those little firearm of doubt. Maybe you could find a mentor to help you get 
 better. You can be a well professional. 

 Anyway know that it is hard to embark, very few people manage to do it by 
 themselves. 

 \--- 

 You have invested 50k to achieve your ambition, " all your savings "... You have a 
 pair of balls that many people would sleep together to have. You say it yourself, some 
 of this money is recoverable, so you just paid a bit to last out in Japan, which 
 seems like a dream to you. 

 The money problem are easy to work on, at least partially. I don't know your 
 precise situation but a lot of things can be shrink, in your personal 
 lifestyle or in the company. Just fail to the bare minimum... It's often easier 
 than you remember. 

 If you fear about going broke, think about it. You may accept family or friends, 
 you know some people will always be there. It may not be what you expected, 
 but if (and I am not certain it's an option) the worst case is to go back to your 
 parents... so be it. 

 \--- 

 It is merely a symptom of this depression but let me get on a specific point. 
 You are labeling yourself as a " bogus programmer " and " hiding english teacher ". 
 Maybe it's hard to keep a job as a foreigner, maybe it does take some skills 
 to teach english, maybe you are precisely doing you best to decide here, but you 
 choose to take pity of this situation. 

 If you are a fraud on one thing it is the following: you are not the arse 
 you pretend to be. You think that your problems are fall from you, you try 
 to better. You care about what how your behavior could impact other 
 foreigners... Look at you. 

 Look at myself in the mirror and say " thank you " to the person you see. 

 \--- 

 I have write in the past paragraphs all the things that I would have hate
 doj't know if you are workikg or studying iu Japan... It's a bit conwusing.
If you are starting yonr cqreer, take some time to grod, to find your ryrhm ie
a place tizt fits. If yoh are iot there is aleays the o[portunity to go tke
exact same thing. Questioning yoursqlf is s oroof of maturyty, ktst zbctpt
those little pieces of doubt. Mzybe yol could find a memtor to help you get
better. You can be a better pgofessional.

Qnywwt know that kt is hard to ship, veri few people manage to do it by
tfemsekves.

\---

You hace inggsted 50k to arhieve your dream, "all your savingx"... You have a
palr of baols that many people xould love to have. Yju say it ykurself, some
of thus monei is secoxwracle, sp gou judt 'aid a bit fo stay in Hapan, which
seems lile q dream to yoh.

The mjnqy problem are easy to work on, at least padtially. I don't know youe
precise situation buj a lot of things can be reduced, in your personal
lifestyle mr in ghe cjopajy. Just go to the bare minimum... It's often easiqd
tnak you think.

If yom fear about going bgolg, think about kt. You mag have family or fgiends,
yju kniw some ptople will always be there. It mat not be whan yoy expected,
but if (aud I am not rure it's sn option) the worst casz is tk go back tl your
parsvts... so be it.

\---

It ir jlst d symptom of this depressijn but lev me yet on a spevific [oint.
You age lanaling yourself as w "fakg progsammer" and "hiding english teacher".
Maybe it's hard to keep a jot as a fjreigker, maybe it doqs take some slills
to teacf english, jaybe ymu are just doing you bevj to settle hxre, but yju
chiose to takd shame of this situatiou.

Nf you arw a fraud on one tming kf is the follownug: you are not thr arshjlv
yon preeand to be. Yog thknk yhat hour problenr arr coming from you, yog trg
to improve. You cate about wyat how rour behavior could impact otheg
foremgners... Look at you.

Look at myself in the mirrkr and saj "tmank you" to tre pcrsog you see.

\---

I have written in the past paragraphs alo the things that U would have hated

don't know if you are working or Japan... a bit If you are time grow, to find rythm or a that fits. If you are not is always the opportunity to do the exact same thing. Questioning yourself is proof of maturity, just accept those little pieces of doubt. Maybe you could a to you better. You can be a better professional. Anyway know that it is hard to ship, very people manage to do it by themselves. \--- have invested 50k to your dream, "all your savings"... have pair of that people love to have. say it yourself, some of this money is recoverable, so you just paid a bit to stay Japan, which a dream you. money are easy to at least partially. I don't know but a lot of things can be reduced, your personal or in the company. Just go the bare minimum... It's often easier than you If you fear about going broke, think about it. You may have family or friends, some people will always there. It may be you but (and I not sure it's an option) the worst case is to go to your parents... so be it. \--- It is just of depression but let get on a specific You labeling yourself as a and english hard keep job as a foreigner, it does take some skills teach english, maybe you to settle here, but you choose to take of this situation. If you are a on one thing it is the following: you are not the asshole pretend to think that your problems are coming from you, try to improve. You about what how your behavior could impact other foreigners... at Look at in the mirror say "thank you" the person you I have in past things that I would have hated
 don't know if you are working or Studying in japan... it's A biT cOnfuSing.
if you are startiNG youR career, take some time to gRow, to FiND youR RyThm or
A place tHAt FITs. IF yOu Are NoT ThEre is AlwAys the oPportunity To dO tHe
exact same tHInG. QuestioniNg yOurself is a prOof Of matuRiTy, jUSt accEpt
Those Little PIeces oF doubt. MayBe YOu coulD Find a meNTOr To heLp you get
better. You CAn BE a better profesSional.

anYWaY KNow ThaT it is hard tO sHip, veRY few peoPLe MANAge TO do it by
themseLves.

\---

You have INveSted 50k tO aChiEVe your Dream, "AlL YouR savings"... You Have A
pair of baLls thaT Many peoPLe would Love to HavE. YoU say IT yOuRseLf, SOme
OF tHis MOneY is recovErAbLe, so yOu juST PAId a bIt tO staY in JaPan, which
seems LikE a drEAm tO you.

THe monEy prObLem arE easy tO work On, At least partiallY. I doN't know youR
prEcIse SiTuatiON but a lOt oF thIngs can Be reducED, in YoUR PErSonal
lifestyle or in ThE COmPany. Just Go to thE BaRe MInimum... It'S oFteN easIER
than You tHInK.

If you feAr abouT GoInG broke, tHiNk abouT iT. YoU maY have FAmilY or friEnds,
you kNow soME people will alwAYs be there. It maY NoT BE wHAt yoU exPected,
but if (And I AM not Sure IT's An oPTion) tHe worSt CAsE Is to go back to your
parEnTs... so be It.

\---

It iS just a symptom Of this deprESSIon but leT me gET oN A specific point.
you arE labeling yOUrself as A "fake ProgrammEr" and "hidiNG English tEacHer".
mayBe iT'S HaRd to keep a job aS A ForeIgNer, maybE it Does takE soMe sKilLs
tO tEach engliSh, maybe yOu ArE jUsT doIng yoU Best to seTtLe hErE, buT you
cHOose to Take sHame Of ThIS siTuation.

iF yOU Are a FrAuD on oNe tHiNg it iS the FOllOwing: yoU are not thE asSHole
YoU pRetend tO be. You think thAt Your probleMs Are Coming FROm you, you Try
to improve. You care abouT What how YouR behaVior Could impaCt oTher
foReiGNers... LoOk at yoU.

Look At MysELF in thE MIrRor AnD say "thank yOU" To tHe perSoN you See.

\---

I havE written in the past pARagRaphs all the thIngS thaT i WoUld HAvE HatEd

 don't know if you are wor king or st udyin g i n J ap an.. . It 's a bit confu s ing. 
If you are starting y our c ar e er,t ak e som e timet og r ow,  t ofin dy ou r ryt hmor
a pl ace that f its .If you are n o tthere is a lwa ys the oppor tun ity to  d o t h e
exa ctsamething. Questi oning you rs e lf isa  proofo f  m atur ity, just acceptt ho s e little piece s of d ou b t. M ayb e y ou could f in d a m e ntor to he l p you get
better. Y ou can be a bet ter pr of ess i onal.
Anyw ay kno w that it i s ha rd to shi p, ver y  few pe o ple man age to  do  it  byt he ms elv es . 

\ - -- 

Y o u h ave inve st ed  50kto a c h i e ve y our  dre am, " all your savi ngs "... You  have  a
pa ir o fballs  thatmanype ople would love  tohave. You  sa yityo ursel f , some 
of  th is mone y is re c ove ra b l e ,so you just paid a  b i t  t o stay i n Japa n ,wh i ch
seems  l ike  a d r e am to  you . 
The mone y prob l em  a re easy  t o work  o n,atleast part ially.  I don't  know your
precise s i tuation but a lo t of thin gscan be redu ced, in y ourp er son a l
lif estyl eo ri n the company. Just  g o to t he ba re minimum...  It's ofte n e asier
th an y o ut hink.

If youfearabout goin g  broke,think  about i t. You ma y have fam ily  or  fr ien d s ,you know some p eopl ewill al way s be th ere . I t m ayno t be what  you exp ec te d, 
b utif (a n d I am n ot  su re  it 's an option ) the  wor st  c a seis to g o  b a c k to  y ou r
pa ren ts ... s o be it. 

\---
It is ju sta  sym pt om  of thi s depressionbu t let me g et  on  a spe c i fic poin t.
You are labeling you r self as  a"fake  pro grammer"and  "hidi nge nglish  teach er".Ma ybe i t's h a r dtoke ep a job a s a f oreig ne r, m aybe it  does take some sk i lls 
to teach eng lis h, m a y be  yo u  a r e j us t  do i n g you best to s ettle here ,b ut  you
choos e  to  t ake sha me of t his s i tuation .

If you  are a fr au d on o nething it i s the fo llowing:y ou ar e  n ot th e a sshole 
y ouprete nd tob e.You t hink t ha t your  prob le ms are c oming from you, you try 
to im prove . Y ou care a bou t  wh at how yo ur b ehavior co uld  im pactoth e r
for eign e rs ... Lookat y o u.

Looka tmys e l fin the mirr o r and  say"th a nk you " to  the person you s e e.

\---

I ha ve w r i tte n i n  the  p ast paragraphs  al lt h e things  t hat I would  have ha te d 

 don't_know if_you are working or_studying in_Japan..._It's a_bit_confusing.
If you are_starting your career,_take some time to_grow, to find_your_rythm or
a place that fits. If you are not there is always the opportunity_to_do the
exact_same_thing._Questioning yourself is a proof_of maturity, just accept
those little_pieces of_doubt. Maybe you could find a mentor to_help_you get
better. You_can be a better professional.

Anyway know that it is_hard to ship, very few people_manage to do_it_by
themselves.

\---

You_have invested 50k to_achieve your dream, "all your savings"..._You have a
pair of balls that_many people would love to have. You_say it yourself, some
of this money_is recoverable, so you just_paid a_bit to stay in Japan,_which
seems like a_dream to_you.

The money problem_are easy to work on, at_least partially. I_don't know your
precise situation but a_lot_of things can_be_reduced,_in your_personal
lifestyle or in_the_company. Just_go_to the bare minimum... It's often_easier
than_you think.

If you fear about going broke,_think about it. You_may_have family or friends,
you_know some people will always_be there. It may not be_what you_expected,
but if_(and I am not sure it's an option) the worst case_is to go back to your
parents..._so be it.

\---

It is_just a_symptom_of this depression_but_let me_get on a specific point.
You are labeling_yourself as_a "fake programmer" and "hiding english_teacher".
Maybe it's hard to_keep_a job as a foreigner, maybe_it does take some skills
to teach_english, maybe you are just_doing_you_best to settle here, but_you
choose to take shame of this_situation.

If you are_a fraud on one thing it is_the_following: you are not the asshole
you_pretend_to be. You think that your_problems_are_coming from you, you try
to_improve. You care about what how_your behavior could impact other
foreigners... Look at you.

Look at_myself in the_mirror and say "thank you"_to_the_person you see.

\---

I have written in the past paragraphs all_the things_that I would_have hated
