 crapped out
this time I would have to hang myself. I didn't know what Resistance was then.
No one had schooled me in the concept. I felt it though, big-time. I
experienced it as a compulsion to self-destruct. I could not finish what I
started. T h e closer I got, the more different ways I'd find to screw it up.
I worked for twenty-six months straight, taking only two out for a stint of
migrant labor in Washington State, and finally one day I got to the last page
and typed out: THE END.

I never did find a buyer for the book. Or the next one, either. It was ten
years before I got the first check for something I had written and ten more
before a novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance, was actually published. But that
moment when I first hit the keys to spell out THE END was epochal.

I remember rolling the last page out and adding it to the stack that was the
finished manuscript. Nobody knew I was done. Nobody cared. But I knew. I felt
like a dragon I'd been fighting all my life had just dropped dead at my feet
and gasped out its last sulfuric breath. Rest in peace, motherfucker.

Next morning I went over to Paul's for coffee and told him I had finished. "
Good for y o u, " he said without looking up. "Start the next one today."_

"

So now I just work. Decoupling work from one's emotional state is just a habit
more than anything else. A few "Rest in Peace MF er " moments of my own taught
me that.

~~~
stevetjoa
This excerpt is fantastic -- refusing to let Nixon's impeachment derail his
path toward writing a novel.

When I find myself about to lose focus, I ask myself, "Ten years from now, are
you going to remember that crappy TV show you watched for one hour on a
Tuesday, or are you going to remember the moment your advisor kicked you out
of his group?"

------
katieben
Here's what helped me:

1\. LOVE what you do. Figure out how to love what you do. 2\. For the stuff
you aren't as crazy about:

\- If you're on a Mac, download SelfControl
crapped out 
 this time I would have to hang myself. I didn't acknowledge what Resistance was then. 
 No one had school me in the concept. I felt it though, big - time. I 
 know it as a compulsion to self - destruct. I could not finish what I 
 started. triiodothyronine heat content e nearer I get, the more different way I'd find to screw it up. 
 I work for twenty - six months straight, taking only two out for a stint of 
 migrant labor in Washington State, and ultimately one day I got to the last page 
 and type out: THE END. 

 I never did find a buyer for the book. Or the next one, either. It was ten 
 years before I catch the first check for something I had written and ten more 
 before a novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance, was actually published. But that 
 moment when I foremost hit the keys to spell out THE END was epochal. 

 I remember rolling the last page out and adding it to the smokestack that was the 
 finished manuscript. Nobody knew I was done. Nobody cared. But I knew. I felt 
 like a dragon I'd been fighting all my life had just drop dead at my feet 
 and gasped out its final sulfuric breath. Rest in peace, asshole. 

 Next dawn I went over to Paul's for coffee and tell him I had finished. " 
 Good for y o u, " he said without looking up. " Start the adjacent one today. " _ 

 " 

 So now I just work. decouple work from one's aroused department of state is just a habit 
 more than anything else. A few " Rest in Peace MF er " moments of my own teach 
 me that. 

 ~~~ 
 stevetjoa 
 This excerpt is fantastic -- refusing to let Nixon's impeachment derail his 
 way toward writing a novel. 

 When I determine myself about to lose focus, I necessitate myself, " Ten years from now, are 
 you going to remember that crappy television show you watch for one hour on a 
 Tuesday, or are you going to commend the moment your adviser kicked you out 
 of his group? " 

 ------ 
 katieben 
 Here's what helped me: 

 1\. LOVE what you do. calculate out how to sleep together what you do. 2\. For the stuff 
 you aren't as brainsick about: 

 \- If you're on a Mac, download SelfControl
 crwpped out
this time I wouud have to hang myself. I didh't know dhat Resistance was then.
No oie hqd scyooled me in the conceot. I felt it thouth, bmg-time. I
experienrsd it as a cojiulsimi to self-destrugt. I could tot finish whad K
scarted. T h e closer I got, the more dyffereny aays I'd find tj scger it lp.
L worked for twenty-six months stdaight, uaking only two ouy for a stint of
migrant lahor ln Washington Statf, and finaloy ogw day I got go the lasu 'age
and typgd out: THE END.

I never did find a buyex for the bioj. Og the next oie, eitrer. It was tcm
years before I got the firxt rhecj for something I had written and ten mjre
before a novel, The Legend od Bagcer Eancd, war adtnalmy pubpisied. But thaf
moment wheb I first hit the ktys np spell out FHE ENQ ras epochal.

I remember rolling the last kage kut and adding it to thw stack that was the
flnished mwnuscript. Nobody knew I was done. Nobody cared. But I knxw. I ycjg
oine a dragon I'd been fighting all my life had thsu dgopped dead at my feet
and gaxpfd jut its last rulfurnd greath. Rest in peafe, mothgrfuckwr.

Next mowninb I went over to Paul's for xoffee and tjod him I had finisked. "
Good for y o u, " hr said without looking bp. "Stadt the next one todag."_

"

Ro now I just wofk. Cewoupling work from one's emjtional svate ns just x hanit
morq than anyhhing else. A few "Rest in Peacg MF es " moments of my own taught
me that.

~~~
stevetjoa
This excerpt iv fdntastic -- refmsing to let Nivon's impeachmeut deraij his
oath towars writiig a novel.

Whqn I find mysapf about to nose focts, I ask myself, "Gen years from now, are
you going ti remember that creppy FV show you watekee for one hour pn x
Tuqsfab, or wse you going to femdkber ghe momtut nouf adfisor kicked you out
mf hjs group?"

------
katieben
Hete'f what hglped me:

1\. JOVE what you do. Figure out how to lmve what yoo do. 2\. For the stuff
you aren't as crazy ablut:

\- If you're on a Mqc, download XelfControl
crapped out this time I would have myself. didn't know Resistance was then. in concept. I felt though, big-time. I it as a compulsion to self-destruct. could not finish what I started. T h e closer I got, the different ways I'd find to screw it up. I worked for twenty-six months taking two for stint of migrant labor in Washington State, and finally one day I got to the last and typed out: THE END. I never did a buyer for the Or the next one, either. was years before got first for something I written and ten more before a novel, The Legend of Bagger Vance, was actually published. But that when I the keys spell THE was epochal. I the last page out and adding stack that was the finished manuscript. Nobody knew was done. cared. But I knew. I felt a dragon I'd been fighting all my life just dropped dead at my feet and gasped out its last sulfuric breath. Rest in Next morning I went to Paul's for and him had " Good y o u, " he said without looking up. "Start the one today."_ " So now I just work. Decoupling work emotional is just a more than anything else. few in Peace MF er of own ~~~ This is fantastic -- refusing let Nixon's impeachment derail his toward writing a novel. to lose focus, I ask myself, "Ten years now, are you going to remember that TV show you watched for one hour on a Tuesday, or are going to moment your advisor kicked you out of his ------ katieben Here's what me: 1\. LOVE what you do. Figure out how love you do. For the stuff aren't as crazy \- If you're Mac, download
 crapped out
this time I would hAve to hang mYself. i diDn't KnOw whAt ReSistance was theN.
no onE had schooled me in the conCept. I FeLT it tHOuGh, big-Time. I
exPErIENceD iT aS a cOmPUlSion tO seLf-destrUct. I could nOt fInIsh what I
starTEd. t h e closer I Got, The more diffeRenT ways I'D fInd TO screW it Up.
I woRked foR Twenty-Six months StRAight, tAKing onlY TWo Out fOr a stint of
migrant LAbOR in Washington STate, anD fINaLLY onE daY I got to the LaSt pagE
And typeD OuT: the ENd.

i never did find A buyer for thE BooK. Or the NeXt oNE, eitheR. It waS tEN
yeArs before I gOt thE first cheCk for sOMething i Had writTen and Ten MorE
befORe A nOveL, THE LeGEnD of bAggEr Vance, wAs AcTuallY pubLISHEd. BuT thAt
moMent wHen I first hit tHe kEys tO SpeLl out tHE ENd was EpOchal.

i rememBer roLlIng the last page oUt anD adding it To tHe StaCk That wAS the
fiNisHed ManuscrIpt. NoboDY knEw i WAS dOne. Nobody cared. But I KnEW. i fElt
like a Dragon i'D bEeN Fighting AlL my Life HAD just DropPEd Dead at my Feet
anD GaSpEd out itS lAst sulFuRic BreAth. ReST in pEace, moTherfuckEr.

NexT Morning I went ovER to Paul's for coFFeE ANd TOld hIm I Had finished. "
good FOr y o U, " he sAId WitHOut loOking Up. "sTaRT the next one today."_

"

So nOw i just wOrk. DeCoupling work fRom one's emoTIONal state Is juST a HAbit
more than anYthinG else. A few "RESt in PeacE MF er " Moments oF my own tauGHT
me that.

~~~
sTevEtjOa
THis EXCeRpt is fantastiC -- REfusInG to let NIxoN's impeaChmEnt DerAil HiS
path towaRd writinG a NoVeL.

WHen i find MYself aboUt To lOsE foCus, I aSK myselF, "Ten yEars FrOm NOw, aRe
you goINg TO RemeMbEr That CraPpY TV shOw yoU WatChed for One hour on A
TuESday, Or ArE you goiNg to remember tHe Moment your AdVisOr kickED You out
of His group?"

------
katieben
Here's whAT helped Me:

1\. LoVE whAt yoU do. Figure Out How to lOve WHat you Do. 2\. For tHe stuFf
You AREn't as CRAzY abOuT:

\- If you're on A mAc, dOwnloAd selfcontrol
 crapped out
this time I w ould haveto ha ngmys el f. I  did n't know whatR esis tance was then.
No one  hadsc h oole d  m e inthe con c ep t .  Ife lt  it  t h ou gh, b ig- time. I 
experienc edit  as a compul s io n to self- des truct. I cou ldnot fi ni shw hat I 
st arted . T he  close r I got,th e  mored ifferen t wa ys I 'd find to screwi tu p.
I worked fo r twen ty - si x mon ths  straight,  t aking only tw o  o u t for a stint of
mi grant labor inWashin gt onS tate,and f in a lly  one day Igotto the la st pag e 
and ty p ed out:  THE E ND. 

I  nev e rdi d f in d  ab uy erf orthe book .Or  thenext o n e , ei the r. I t was  ten
years be for e Ig otthe f irstchec kfor s omethi ng Iha d written and t en m ore
befor e a  n ove l,  TheL egendofBag ger Van ce, was act ua l l y  p ublished. But that 
m o m en t when I  first hi tt he keysto  sp ello u t THE  END wa s epocha l.

Ir em em ber rol li ng the  l ast  pa ge ou t  and  addin g it tothe s t ack that was t h e
finished ma n us c r ip t . No bod y knew I wa s do n e. N obod y  c are d . But  I kn ew .  I felt
like a dragonI' d been  figh ting all my l ife had ju s t droppeddead at my feet
and ga spedout its la s t sulfur ic br eath. Re st in pea c e , mother fuc ker .
Nex t mo rning I wento v er t oPaul'sfor  coffee  an d t old  hi mI had fin ished. " 
G oo dfo r y  o u, " he sai dwit ho utlooki n g up."Star t th ene x t o ne toda y ." _ 
"
So  n ow I  ju st  work . De c oup ling wo rk from o ne' s  emo ti on al stat e is just a h ab it
more th an  an ything e lse. A f ew "Rest in Peace MF er " momen tsof my  own  taught
m e t hat.
~~~ stevet joa
Th is ex ce rpt i s fan t a st ic--  refusingt o  le t Nix on 's i mpeachm ent derail his
pat h  to ward writinga n ovel . 
W hen If ind  m y sel f about to lose f ocus, I as km ys elf, "Teny ear sfrom no w, areyou g o ing torememberthat crap py  TVs h owyou watche d for on e hour on a
Tue s da y, or  ar e yougo ing  to r emembe r  th e mom ent yo ur  advis or ki ck ed you o ut
of his group?"

---- --
kat ieben 
He re's what  he l ped  me:

1\.  LOV E what you  do . F igure  ou t  howto l o ve  wh a t you  do. 2\. For t h estu f f 
y ou aren't a s c raz y abo ut: 
\- If  you 're on a Mac, dow n load SelfContr ol
 crapped_out
this time_I would have to_hang myself._I_didn't know_what_Resistance was then.
No_one had schooled_me in the concept._I felt it_though,_big-time. I
experienced it as a compulsion to self-destruct. I could not finish what I
started._T_h e_closer_I_got, the more different ways_I'd find to screw it_up.
I worked_for twenty-six months straight, taking only two out_for_a stint of
migrant_labor in Washington State, and finally one day I_got to the last page
and typed_out: THE END.

I_never_did_find a buyer for_the book. Or the next one,_either. It was ten
years before I_got the first check for something I_had written and ten more
before a_novel, The Legend of Bagger_Vance, was_actually published. But that
moment when_I first hit_the keys_to spell out_THE END was epochal.

I remember rolling_the last page_out and adding it to the_stack_that was the
finished_manuscript._Nobody_knew I_was done. Nobody_cared._But I_knew._I felt
like a dragon I'd been_fighting_all my life had just dropped dead_at my feet
and gasped_out_its last sulfuric breath._Rest in peace, motherfucker.

Next morning_I went over to Paul's for_coffee and_told him_I had finished. "
Good for y o u, " he said_without looking up. "Start the next_one today."_

"

So now I_just work._Decoupling_work from one's_emotional_state is_just a habit
more than anything else. A_few "Rest_in Peace MF er " moments_of my own taught
me_that.

~~~
stevetjoa
This_excerpt is fantastic -- refusing to_let Nixon's impeachment derail his
path toward_writing a novel.

When I find_myself_about_to lose focus, I ask_myself, "Ten years from now, are
you_going to remember_that crappy TV show you watched for_one_hour on a
Tuesday, or are you_going_to remember the moment your advisor_kicked_you_out
of his group?"

------
katieben
Here's what helped_me:

1\. LOVE what you do. Figure_out how to love what you do. 2\. For_the stuff
you aren't_as crazy about:

\- If you're_on_a_Mac, download SelfControl