  Hast ever noticed her nose?"

"No!" snarled the Major.

"Ha!" sighed the Colonel.  "Not to ya' taste, belike.  Why then there's
Lady Lydia Flyte--a widow, Jack--another neighbour--a comely piece,
man, bright eyes, wealthy and sufficiently plump----"

"Ha' done!" snapped the Major, puffing smoke.

"Dooce take ya'!" snarled the Colonel, scattering snuff.  "Begad, man
Jack, ya' damned peevish and contrary, y'are 'pon my life!  If I wasn't
the most patient, long-suffering, meek and mild soul i' the world I
should be inclined to lose my temper over ya' damned stubbornness--rot
me, I should!"  At this the Major chuckled..

"Your meekness, George, hath ever been equalled only by your humility!"
said he.

"Nay, but man Jack, look'ee now--'tis not that I would ram my own
happiness down thy throat, but to see thee so glum and spiritless,
damps my own joy doocedly.  And the word glum brings us back to
petticoats."

"Nay George, for mercy's sake no more----"

"But comrade, a petticoat should be--ah--should be, a petticoat is--is
a--ha!"

At this moment was a knock and, the door opening, the Sergeant advanced
two paces and stood at attention:

"Your honour," said he.

"Ha, Zeb," exclaimed the Colonel, fixing him with fierce, blue eye,
"ho, Sergeant Zeb, what the dooce is a petticoat?"

The Sergeant stared at his lordship, stared at the ceiling, scratched
smooth-shaven chin with thoughtful finger and spoke.

"A petticoat, m' lud, is a article as a woman can't very well go
without and a man shouldn't--and won't!"

The Colonel set down his glass, threw back his head and roared with
laughter till he stamped.  "Aha--oho!" he cried at last, sprinkling
snuff over himself and everything within reach
Hast ever noticed her nose? " 

 " No! " entangle the Major. 

 " Ha! " sigh the Colonel.   " Not to ya' taste, belike.   Why then there's 
 Lady Lydia Flyte -- a widow, Jack -- another neighbour -- a comely piece, 
 homo, bright eyes, affluent and sufficiently plump---- " 

 " Ha' done! " snapped the Major, puffing roll of tobacco. 

 " Dooce take ya'! " snarled the Colonel, scatter snuff.   " Begad, man 
 Jack, ya' curse peevish and contrary, y'are' pon my life!   If I wasn't 
 the most patient, long - suffering, meek and mild soul i' the world I 
 should be tend to lose my temper over ya' damned stubbornness -- waste 
 me, I should! "   At this the Major chuckled.. 

 " Your meekness, George, hath ever been equalled only by your humility! " 
 state he. 

 " Nay, but man Jack, look'ee now--'tis not that I would ram my own 
 happiness down thy throat, but to see thee so glum and spiritless, 
 dampen my own joy doocedly.   And the word glum brings us back to 
 petticoats. " 

 " Nay George, for mercy's sake no more---- " 

 " But comrade, a petticoat should be -- ah -- should be, a petticoat is -- is 
 a -- ha! " 

 At this moment was a knock and, the door opening, the Sergeant advanced 
 two paces and stood at attention: 

 " Your honour, " said he. 

 " Ha, Zeb, " exclaimed the Colonel, fixing him with fierce, gloomy eye, 
 " ho, Sergeant Zeb, what the dooce is a petticoat? " 

 The Sergeant stared at his lordship, star at the ceiling, rub 
 smooth - shaven chin with thoughtful finger and spoke. 

 " A petticoat, m' lud, is a article as a woman can't very well go 
 without and a man shouldn't -- and won't! " 

 The Colonel jell down his glass, threw back his head and roared with 
 laughter till he stamped.   " Aha -- oho! " he cry at last, sprinkling 
 snuff over himself and everything within reach
  Hwst ever noticed her nost?"

"No!" snarled the Mchor.

"Ha!" vighed the Colunel.  "Not to ya' taste, belike.  Qhy tyen there's
Lady Lydia Fuyte--a widlw, Jack--abothtr neighbour--a comxmy piecc,
ian, gvight xyes, wealthy anc sufficiettly plump----"

"Ha' dmnd!" dnapped the Major, puffing smoke.

"Doocq take ua'!" snarled the Cjlontl, fcatfvrlng snuff.  "Begad, man
Jack, ya' damnsd peevpsh and contrary, u'are 'pon my life!  If I wasj't
thf most patient, lonh-suffering, neek qnd mild souu i' the wognd I
should be inclined to lose my temper uver va' damned sjbvbogtness--rot
me, M shoujd!"  At this bne Majmr chuclled..

"Your meekncss, Gxorgw, hath ever been equanled only by your rumility!"
sdib he.

"Nay, but man Jack, ooik'ee tow--'ths nur tfat I wkuld rwm jy own
happjness down rhy throat, but to ste eyee so glum ahd spiwieless,
damps my own joy doocedly.  And the wodd glum brings us back ro
petticoats."

"Nay Georgg, for mercr's sake no more----"

"But comrade, a petticoat should be--av--shouma bt, q petguclat is--is
a--ha!"

At this moment was a knock and, the sopr opening, the Scrgeant advanced
twp oavgs and stood aj attencjoh:

"Your honour," said je.

"Ha, Zef," excoaimed tht Colpnel, fixing him with fierce, blue eye,
"ho, Fwrgeant Zeb, what tke dooce is c pettocoat?"

Yhe Sergeant stared at kis loddship, starfd at the zeiling, scratchea
smpodh-shaven chin with thoughtsul fingec and spoke.

"A petjicoat, i' lud, is a artigne as a woman can't very wall go
withlut and a man shouldn't--and won't!"

Tix Colonel set dmwn his glafs, thvew back his hewd and roared cith
laugkter tkll he stajped.  "Aia--oho!" he criqd at last, spslnkling
snuff over hiiseld ane everygfing within resch
Hast ever noticed her nose?" "No!" snarled "Ha!" the Colonel. to ya' taste, Lydia widow, Jack--another neighbour--a piece, man, bright wealthy and sufficiently plump----" "Ha' done!" the Major, puffing smoke. "Dooce take ya'!" snarled the Colonel, scattering snuff. "Begad, Jack, ya' damned peevish and contrary, y'are 'pon my life! If I wasn't most long-suffering, and soul i' the world I should be inclined to lose my temper over ya' damned stubbornness--rot I should!" At this the Major chuckled.. "Your George, hath ever been only by your humility!" said "Nay, man Jack, now--'tis that would ram my happiness down thy throat, but to see thee so glum and spiritless, damps my own joy doocedly. the word us back petticoats." George, mercy's sake no comrade, a petticoat should be--ah--should be, a--ha!" At this moment was a knock and, door opening, Sergeant advanced two paces and stood attention: "Your honour," said he. "Ha, Zeb," exclaimed Colonel, fixing him with fierce, blue eye, "ho, Sergeant Zeb, what the dooce is a Sergeant stared at his stared at the scratched chin thoughtful and spoke. petticoat, m' lud, is a article as a woman can't very go without and a man shouldn't--and won't!" The Colonel set glass, back his head roared with laughter till stamped. he cried at last, over and
  Hast ever noticed her nose?"

"No!" sNarled the MAjor.

"HA!" siGheD tHe CoLoneL.  "Not to ya' taste, bELike.  why then there's
Lady Lydia flyte--A wIDow, JACk--AnothEr neighBOuR--A ComElY pIecE,
mAN, bRight EyeS, wealthY and sufficIenTlY plump----"

"Ha' done!" SNaPped the MajOr, pUffing smoke.

"DOocE take yA'!" sNarLEd the colOnel, sCatterINg snufF.  "Begad, man
jaCK, ya' damNEd peeviSH AnD conTrary, y'are 'pon my lifE!  if i Wasn't
the most paTient, lOnG-SuFFEriNg, mEek and mild SoUl i' thE World I
sHOuLD BE inCLined to lose my Temper over yA' DamNed stuBbOrnNEss--rot
Me, I shOuLD!"  At This the MajoR chuCkled..

"Your MeekneSS, George, HAth ever Been eqUalLed Only BY yOuR huMiLIty!"
SAiD he.

"nAy, bUt man JacK, lOoK'ee noW--'tis NOT THat I WouLd raM my owN
happiness dowN thY thrOAt, bUt to sEe theE so gLuM and sPiritlEss,
daMpS my own joy doocedLy.  AnD the word gLum BrIngS uS back TO
pettiCoaTs."

"NAy GeorgE, for merCY's sAkE NO MoRe----"

"But comrade, a pettiCoAT ShOuld be--ah--Should BE, a PeTTicoat is--Is
A--ha!"

at thIS MomenT was A KnOck and, thE door oPEnInG, the SerGeAnt advAnCed
Two Paces ANd stOod at aTtention:

"your hONour," said he.

"Ha, ZeB," Exclaimed the COLoNEL, fIXing Him With fierce, bLue eYE,
"ho, SErgeANt zeb, WHat thE doocE iS A pETticoat?"

The Sergeant sTaRed at hIs lorDship, stared at The ceiling, SCRAtched
smOoth-SHaVEn chin with thouGhtfuL finger and SPoke.

"A petTicoaT, m' lud, is a Article as A WOman can't VerY weLl gO
wiTHOuT and a man shoulDN'T--and WoN't!"

The CoLonEl set doWn hIs gLasS, thReW back his hEad and roArEd WiTh
LauGhter TIll he staMpEd.  "AHa--Oho!" He criED at lasT, spriNkliNg
SnUFf oVer himsELf AND eveRyThIng wIthIn Reach
  Hast ever noticed her no se?"

"No! " sna rle d t he  Maj or.
"Ha!" sighedt he C olonel.  "Not to ya' t aste,  b e like .  Why t hen the r e' s Lad yLy dia  F l yt e--awid ow, Jac k--another  ne ig hbour--a com e ly  piece,
ma n,bright eyes,  we althyan d s u ffici ent ly pl ump--- - "

"Ha ' done!"sn a pped t h e Major , pu ffin g smoke.

"Doocet ak e  ya'!" snarled  the C ol o ne l ,  sc att ering snuf f.   "Be g ad, man Ja c k ,  ya '  damned peevi sh and cont r ary , y'ar e'po n  my li fe! If I w asn't
the m ostpatient,long-s u ffering ,  meek a nd mil d s oul  i't he  w orl dI 
sh o ul d b e  in clined t olo se my  tem p e r over  ya ' da mnedstubbornness- -ro t
me ,  Ishoul d!" At t hi s the  Major  chuc kl ed..

"Your mee knes s, George , h at h e ve r bee n  equal led  on ly by y our hum i lit y! " s ai d he.

"Nay, but m an J ac k, look' ee now - -' ti s  not tha tI w ould r am my  own ha ppinessdown t h yth roat, b ut  to se ethe e s o glu m  and  spiri tless,
d ampsm y own joy dooc e dly.  And the wo r d  g l um b rin gs us backto
p e ttic oats . "
"N a y Geo rge,fo r  m e rcy's sake no more- -- -"

"B ut co mrade, a pett icoat shou l d be--ah-- shou l db e, a petticoat  is-- is
a--ha!" 
At this  mome nt was a  knock an d ,  the doo r o pen ing , t h e  S ergeant advan c e d
tw opaces a ndstood a t a tte nti on: 
"Your hon our," sa id  h e. 
"Ha , Zeb , " exclai me d t he  Co lonel ,  fixin g him  wit hfi e rce , bluee ye , "ho,  S er gean t Z eb , wha t th e  do oce isa pettico at? " 

Th eSe rgeantstared at his  l ordship, s ta red  at th e ceiling,  scratched
smooth-shave n  chin w ith  thou ghtf ul finger  an d spok e."A pet ticoat , m'lu d,i s  a ar t i cl e a sa woman ca n ' t v ery w el l go 
withou t and a man should n 't- -and won't!"
Th e Co l o ne l s e td own  h i s g l a ss, threw backhis head a nd ro ared withl aug ht er till  he sta mped.  "Aha-- oho!" hecried atla st,s p rin kling
snuf f over h imself an d  ever y th ing w ith in rea ch 
 _Hast ever_noticed her nose?"

"No!" snarled_the Major.

"Ha!"_sighed_the Colonel.__"Not to ya'_taste, belike. _Why then there's
Lady Lydia_Flyte--a widow, Jack--another_neighbour--a_comely piece,
man, bright eyes, wealthy and sufficiently plump----"

"Ha' done!" snapped the Major, puffing smoke.

"Dooce_take_ya'!" snarled_the_Colonel,_scattering snuff.  "Begad, man
Jack,_ya' damned peevish and contrary,_y'are 'pon_my life!  If I wasn't
the most patient,_long-suffering,_meek and mild_soul i' the world I
should be inclined to lose_my temper over ya' damned stubbornness--rot
me,_I should!" _At_this_the Major chuckled..

"Your meekness,_George, hath ever been equalled only_by your humility!"
said he.

"Nay, but man_Jack, look'ee now--'tis not that I would_ram my own
happiness down thy throat,_but to see thee so_glum and_spiritless,
damps my own joy doocedly._ And the_word glum_brings us back_to
petticoats."

"Nay George, for mercy's sake no_more----"

"But comrade, a_petticoat should be--ah--should be, a petticoat_is--is
a--ha!"

At_this moment was_a_knock_and, the_door opening, the_Sergeant_advanced
two paces_and_stood at attention:

"Your honour," said he.

"Ha,_Zeb,"_exclaimed the Colonel, fixing him with fierce,_blue eye,
"ho, Sergeant Zeb,_what_the dooce is a_petticoat?"

The Sergeant stared at his_lordship, stared at the ceiling, scratched
smooth-shaven_chin with_thoughtful finger_and spoke.

"A petticoat, m' lud, is a article as a woman_can't very well go
without and a_man shouldn't--and won't!"

The Colonel_set down_his_glass, threw back_his_head and_roared with
laughter till he stamped.  "Aha--oho!"_he cried_at last, sprinkling
snuff over himself and_everything within reach