AIN@spnbl.com>
Sent: Monday, January 29, 2001 4:54 PM
Subject: If Texans didn't think this way... this would be funny!!!!


Foreigner's Travel Guide to Texas
>
>
> Like it or not, the new Texas White House will be in Crawford, Texas and
> soon will  be drawing a number of people to the state, including many who
> are not used to Texas ways. They might find the following advice useful.
>
>
> 1) Don't expect to find filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local
> restaurant. It's a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried steak.
Let
> them cook something they know.  If you confuse them, they'll kick your
ass.
>
>
> 2) Don't laugh at the names (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley,
Tammy
> Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.).  Or we will HAVE to kick your ass.
>
>
> 3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda. In Texas it's called a
> coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or
> whatever - it's still a coke. Accept it.  Doing otherwise can lead to an
ass
> kicking.
>
>
> 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (read some
J.
> Frank Dobie). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer than
> you.  Don't refer to us as a bunch of cowboy hicks, or we'll kick your
ass.
>
>
> 5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Ross Perot,
> Southwest Airlines, Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes we have small
> lapses in judgment (e.g., Phil Gramm).  However, we are not dumb enough to
> let someone move to our state just so they can run for the US Senate.  If
> anyone tried to do that they would  get a serious ass kickin'.
>
>
> 6a) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened
AIN@spnbl.com > 
 Sent: Monday, January 29, 2001 4:54 PM 
 Subject: If Texans didn't think this direction... this would be fishy! !! ! 


 Foreigner's Travel Guide to Texas 
 > 
 > 
 > Like it or not, the new Texas White House will be in Crawford, Texas and 
 > soon will   be drawing a number of multitude to the state, including many who 
 > are not use to Texas way. They might find the come advice useful. 
 > 
 > 
 > 1) Don't expect to witness filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local 
 > restaurant. It's a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried steak. 
 Let 
 > them cook something they acknowledge.   If you confuse them, they'll kick your 
 ass. 
 > 
 > 
 > 2) Don't laugh at the name (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley, 
 Tammy 
 > Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc .).   Or we will HAVE to kick your ass. 
 > 
 > 
 > 3) Don't order a bottle of dad or a can of soda. In Texas it's called a 
 > coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7 - Up or 
 > whatever - it's still a coca cola. Accept it.   Doing otherwise can lead to an 
 ass 
 > kicking. 
 > 
 > 
 > 4) We acknowledge our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (read some 
 J. 
 > Frank Dobie). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer than 
 > you.   Don't refer to us as a bunch of cowboy yokel, or we'll kick back your 
 ass. 
 > 
 > 
 > 5) We receive batch of clientele sense (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Ross Perot, 
 > Southwest Airlines, Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes we have small 
 > lapses in judgment (for example, Phil Gramm).   However, we are not dumb enough to 
 > let someone move to our state just so they can run for the US Senate.   If 
 > anyone tried to do that they would   get a serious ass kickin'. 
 > 
 > 
 > 6a) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had heed
AIN@dpnbl.com>
Sent: Monday, Januxry 29, 2001 4:54 PM
Subjecj: Uf Texens didh't think this way... this would be funnb!!!!


Forwignee's Travel Guide to Texxs
>
>
> Like in or not, rhe iew Texas White Ikuse will be jk Cracfird, Texas and
> xoon will  be drawing a tuobzr of people to the state, including iany whp
> wre not used tj Teqaf wags. They might find the following asvice uveful.
>
>
> 1) Don't ecpect to find filet mignon or oasta primavera at the local
> tsstwyrant. It's a zafe. They serve hamburfers and chicken fried steak.
Let
> them cook somejkung jhey know.  Ih you bonfuse them, bney'll nick yoir
ass.
>
>
> 2) Don't lamgh av thw names (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Corley,
Tammy
> Lvnn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Coocis, ejc.).  Os we qilu HZVX tk kick yonr ass.
>
>
> 3) Don'f order a bittle of pop or a csn if soda. In Tesas it'f salled a
> coke. Nobody gives a damn whethtr it'a Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or
> whatever - it's stipl a coke. Accept it.  Doing otherwise can lead to an
ass
> kicning.
>
>
> 4) De jnjd okr heritage. Most of us are more literate than goi (gead some
J.
> Frank Bobie). We are alsp heyjer educated avd genzdamly a lot nicer thwn
> you.  Don't refer to us ss a bunch of cowboy hicks, ir we'll kick tour
ass.
>
>
> 5) We have ppenty of burinexs semse (e.g., Howard Hughes, H. Xoss Psrot,
> Southwfst Airlihds, Dell computerr). Nstgrally, sometimes we have siall
> lapsxs in judgmevt (e.b., Phil Gramm).  Hoaever, we are not dumb enlugh jo
> let someone mlve to our state just so they cei run for the UV Svnate.  If
> anyoke tried to do ehat they woulb  get a seriuus ass kibkin'.
>
>
> 6a) Doi't laugh at jur Civil War lonuments. If Lee had lisrenee
AIN@spnbl.com> Sent: Monday, January 29, 2001 4:54 If didn't think way... this would to > > > it or not, new Texas White House will be Crawford, Texas and > soon will be drawing a number of people to state, including many who > are not used to Texas ways. They might the advice > > 1) Don't expect to find filet mignon or pasta primavera at the local > restaurant. a cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken fried Let > them cook they know. If you confuse they'll your ass. > 2) laugh at the (Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley, Tammy > Lynn, Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). Or we will to kick > > 3) order bottle of pop can of soda. In Texas it's coke. Nobody gives a damn whether it's Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, or > whatever - it's still coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to ass > kicking. > > > 4) We know our heritage. Most of us are than you (read some > Frank Dobie). are better and a lot than > you. Don't refer to us as a bunch of hicks, or we'll kick your ass. > > > 5) plenty business sense (e.g., Hughes, H. Ross Perot, Southwest Dell computers). Naturally, sometimes small lapses Phil However, are not dumb enough > let someone move to state just so they Senate. If > anyone tried to do that would get a serious ass kickin'. > > 6a) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had
AIN@spnbl.com>
Sent: Monday, JanuAry 29, 2001 4:54 PM
SubjeCt: If TExaNs dIdN't thInk tHis way... this woulD Be fuNny!!!!


Foreigner's Travel GuiDe to TExAS
>
>
> LikE It Or not, The new TEXaS wHitE HOuSe wIlL Be In CraWfoRd, Texas And
> soon wilL  be DrAwing a number OF pEople to the StaTe, including mAny Who
> are NoT usED to TeXas Ways. THey migHT find tHe followiNg ADvice uSEful.
>
>
> 1) Don'T EXpEct tO find filet mignon oR PaSTa primavera at tHe locaL
> rEStAURanT. It'S a cafe. They SeRve haMBurgers ANd CHICkeN Fried steak.
Let
> Them cook somEThiNg they KnOw.  IF You conFuse tHeM, TheY'll kick your
Ass.
>
>
> 2) DOn't laugh aT the naMEs (MerleEN, Bodie, BUbba, BoBby ray, curlEY,
TAmMy
> LYnN, bilLY JOe, SISsy, clovis, etC.).  OR wE will hAVE TO KICk yoUr aSs.
>
>
> 3) DoN't ordEr a bottle of poP or A can OF soDa. In TExas iT's caLlEd a
> coKe. NoboDy givEs A damn whether it's pepsI, RC, Dr. PeppEr, 7-UP oR
> whAtEver - iT'S still A coKe. ACcept it.  doing otHErwIsE CAN lEad to an
ass
> kicking.
>
>
> 4) WE kNOW oUr heritaGe. Most OF uS aRE more litErAte Than YOU (read Some
j.
> frAnk Dobie). we are aLSo BeTter eduCaTed and GeNerAllY a lot NIcer Than
> yoU.  Don't refEr to uS As a bunch of cowbOY hicks, or we'll kICk YOUr
ASs.
>
>
> 5) We HavE plenty of buSineSS senSe (e.g., hOwArd hUghes, h. Ross peROt,
> sOuthwest Airlines, DelL cOmputeRs). NatUrally, sometimEs we have smALL
> Lapses in JudgMEnT (E.g., Phil Gramm).  HowEver, wE are not dumB Enough to
> Let soMeone movE to our staTE Just so thEy cAn rUn fOr tHE uS senate.  If
> anyonE TRied To Do that tHey Would  geT a sEriOus Ass KiCkin'.
>
>
> 6a) Don't Laugh at oUr ciViL WAr mOnumeNTs. If Lee hAd LisTeNed
AIN@spnbl.com>
Sent: Monda y, January  29,200 1 4 :5 4 PM 
Sub ject: If Texan s  did n't think this way...thiswo u ld b e  f unny! !!!


F o re i g ner 's  T rav el Gu ide t o T exas
>>
> Like i t o rnot, the new Te xas WhiteHou se will be i n C rawfor d,  Te x as an d
>  soon  willbe dra wing a nu mb e r of p e ople to t he  sta te, including man y  w h o
> are not us ed toTe x as w ays . T hey mightfi nd th e  follow i ng a d vic e  useful.
>
>> 1) Don'te xpe ct tofi ndf ilet m ignon  o r  pa sta primave ra a t the loc al
> r e stauran t . It'sa cafe . T hey  ser v eha mbu rg e rsa nd  ch i cke n friedst ea k.
Le t
>t h e m  coo k s omet hingthey know.  I f y ou c o nfu se th em, t hey' ll  kick  yourass.>>
> 2) Don't la ughat the na mes  ( Mer le en, B o die, B ubb a,Bobby R ay, Cur l ey, 
T a m m y> Lynn, Billy Joe,  S i s sy , Clovis , etc. ) . O r  we will  H AVE  tok i ck yo ur a s s. 
>
>
> 3 ) Don' t  o rd er a bo tt le ofpo p o r a  cano f so da. In  Texas i t's c a lled a
> coke. Nobody givesa  d a m nw heth erit's Pepsi,  RC, Dr.Pepp e r,  7- U p or> wha te v er - it's still a coke .Accept  it. Doing otherw ise can le a d to an
as s
>k ic k ing.
>
>
> 4)We kn ow our her i tage. Mo st of  us aremore lite r a te thanyou  (r ead  so m e 
J .
> Frank Dob i e ). W eare als o b etter e duc ate d a ndge nerally a  lot nic er  t ha n> y ou. D on't ref er  to  u s a s a b u nch of  cowb oy h ic ks ,  or  we'llk ic k your 
a ss .
>>
>  5 ) Wehave ple nty ofbusinesssen s e (e .g .,  Howard  Hughes, H. R os s Perot,
>  S out hwestA i rlines,Dell computers). Natura l ly, som eti mes w e ha ve small> l apsesinj udgmen t (e.g ., Ph il  Gr a m m). H o we ver ,we are not d umb  enou gh  to> let s omeone move to our sta te just so th eycanr u nfor th e  US  S e nat e .   If
> anyone t ried to do  t h at  they woul d   g et  a seri ous ass  kick i n'.
>
> 
> 6a) Do n't laugh  a t ou r Civ il War mon uments.If Lee ha d  list e ne d
AIN@spnbl.com>
Sent: Monday,_January 29,_2001 4:54 PM
Subject: If_Texans didn't_think_this way..._this_would be funny!!!!


Foreigner's_Travel Guide to_Texas
>
>
> Like it or_not, the new_Texas_White House will be in Crawford, Texas and
> soon will  be drawing a_number_of people_to_the_state, including many who
> are_not used to Texas ways._They might_find the following advice useful.
>
>
> 1) Don't expect_to_find filet mignon_or pasta primavera at the local
> restaurant. It's a_cafe. They serve hamburgers and chicken_fried steak.
Let
> them_cook_something_they know.  If_you confuse them, they'll kick your
ass.
>
>
>_2) Don't laugh at the names_(Merleen, Bodie, Bubba, Bobby Ray, Curley,
Tammy
> Lynn,_Billy Joe, Sissy, Clovis, etc.). _Or we will HAVE to_kick your_ass.
>
>
> 3) Don't order a_bottle of pop_or a_can of soda._In Texas it's called a
> coke._Nobody gives a_damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr._Pepper,_7-Up or
> whatever_-_it's_still a_coke. Accept it.__Doing otherwise_can_lead to an
ass
> kicking.
>
>
> 4) We_know_our heritage. Most of us are more_literate than you (read_some
J.
>_Frank Dobie). We are_also better educated and generally_a lot nicer than
> you. _Don't refer_to us_as a bunch of cowboy hicks, or we'll kick your
ass.
>
>
> 5)_We have plenty of business sense_(e.g., Howard Hughes, H._Ross Perot,
>_Southwest_Airlines, Dell computers)._Naturally,_sometimes we_have small
> lapses in judgment (e.g., Phil_Gramm). _However, we are not dumb enough_to
> let someone move_to_our state just so they can_run for the US Senate. _If
> anyone tried to do_that_they_would  get a serious_ass kickin'.
>
>
> 6a) Don't laugh at_our Civil War_monuments. If Lee had listened