 and profound moments I can remember experiencing as a child. At first, the aim had been simply to render this moment, to convey its feeling and complexity. Several years into the book training me how to write it, the aim shifted from rendering it to rendering its due. I can only say this now, though, with hindsight. At the time, the book was a wound I had little choice but to live inside.

From that first inkling to the book’s acceptance for publication at Jaded Ibis spanned about sixteen years, the last two to three of which with the completed manuscript in hand. I had spent thirteen or so years writing the book, essentially in the dark, with just one or two people having read maybe half of what the book would eventually become. So for me, the process of finding a publisher carried with it an oftentimes paralyzing confrontation with publication’s essential task: to make a book public. Faced with this rather basic fact, I became that much more acquainted with a certain kind of ambivalence I often feel running through my core, and it made even the act of submitting the manuscript borderline unbearable — like a secret act some hidden part of myself had to steal away to do at a weak moment along the edges of my day. Ultimately, I’m grateful for this self-transgression, and very grateful to Janice Lee for finding a home for Family Album with her #RECURRENT series, and for helping Family Album live a new life, outside myself.

JOE MILAZZO: Jordan’s response to this last question prompts me to ask: what was the compositional seed or kernel of your novel? Looking back on your book now that it has been completed (or, after Valery, sufficiently abandoned), how do you see the entire structure of novel contained within that primary expression?

JM: My grandparents’ piano, itself more a piece of furniture than a musical instrument, is largely responsible for Crepuscule W/ Nellie. That is, the novel itself sprang from a desire to render that object phenomenologically, although I did not know enough to contextualize my descriptions of the piano’s dimensions, finish, action, (de)tuning, history and associations in those terms then. But was there a way to play that piano via language? (I have no pianistic abilities of my own.) By virtue of being the first piano I remember encountering, my grandparents’ upright and its dark Southern desuetude is every
and profound moments I can remember experiencing as a child. At foremost, the purpose had been simply to render this here and now, to impart its feeling and complexity. Several year into the koran training me how to publish it, the aim shifted from translate it to rendering its due. I can entirely read this now, though, with hindsight. At the meter, the book was a wound I had small choice but to live inside. 

 From that foremost inkling to the book ’s acceptance for issue at Jaded Ibis spanned about sixteen year, the last two to three of which with the complete manuscript in hand. I had spent thirteen or so class writing the book, essentially in the dark, with just one or two people having read maybe half of what the book would eventually become. So for me, the process of finding a publisher carried with it an oftentimes paralyzing confrontation with publication ’s all-important task: to make a ledger populace. Faced with this rather basic fact, I became that much more acquainted with a certain kind of ambivalence I often feel running through my effect, and it made even the act of submitting the manuscript borderline unbearable — like a secret act some hidden character of myself had to steal away to do at a weak moment along the edges of my sidereal day. Ultimately, I ’m grateful for this self - transgression, and very grateful to Janice Lee for find a home for Family Album with her # RECURRENT series, and for helping Family Album live a newfangled life, outside myself. 

 JOE MILAZZO: Jordan ’s response to this last doubt prompts me to ask: what was the compositional seed or kernel of your novel? Looking back on your koran now that it has been dispatch (or, after Valery, sufficiently abandoned), how do you attend the entire social organization of novel contained within that primary expression? 

 JM: My grandparents ’ piano, itself more a firearm of furniture than a musical instrument, is largely creditworthy for Crepuscule W/ Nellie. That is, the novel itself sprang from a desire to render that object phenomenologically, although I did not know enough to contextualize my descriptions of the piano ’s dimensions, finish, action, (de)tuning, history and associations in those terms then. But was there a way to act that piano via language? (I have no pianistic ability of my own .) By virtue of being the first piano I commemorate encountering, my grandparents ’ upright and its dark southerly desuetude is every
 anf profound moments I can remember expernwncing as a dhild. At first, the aim had been simppy to rtuder this moment, to zonvey itd feelint anv complexity. Sevxdal yeavf infl thz uook training mg how to wride it, the aim vhkfced from rendering it to rendering ies due. O fan only say tris mjw, tgough, with hindsight. At the time, tge book was a wound O had little choice but to livf inside.

From that virst inklibg tj the book’s azceptance for publicatjon at Jaded Ibis spanned about sixtzen years, tye ladj two to thrxe of rhich with tmv complated mamuscript in hakd. I iad wpent thirteen or so bears writing the bojk, essenthamly in the dark, wuty jusj one or gqo oeokle hzving geav maybe halr of what tye book would eventiajoy become. So ror me, tre process of finding a publisher carritd wifh it an oftentimes parqlyzing confrontation with pubjication’s essential task: to make a book public. Fawed wmtf tklf eahher basic fact, I became that much more acquayhttd eith a certain kind of amnigakgnce I often fgel runujnf through my core, wnd it iade wven the wct pf submitting the manuscripr borderline ynbearable — like a secret act somg hiddrn part of myself had tu stsal away to do at a sdak moment along thv edces of my day. Ultimately, I’i gratefuo fox this sdlf-ttansgrefsion, and gery nsateful to Janice Pee flr finding a home for Family Album with her #RECURRENT seroev, atd for hzlping Family Album live a new liye, outsibe mysdlf.

JOE MILZZZO: Jocdan’s responfe to this lavj question prmmpts me to qsk: qhat war the compositipnal seed or kernel of your novel? Looline back on your biok now that it hax bden clm'leteq (or, after Vanery, suwgicievtly abandoked), how do you see the entise sfructure of novel voktained wuthin thwt primary exlression?

JM: My granfpareits’ pieno, itxels more a piece of furniture thzn a musifal instrument, ys lqrgely respousible for Crepuscule W/ Nellie. That is, tie novel itself sprang drom a desire to reudtr that objecv phenjmenologiwally, although I did not know enough uo contextualize my desdriptimns ov the piano’s dimensions, finish, action, (de)tuning, history and associations ib thosx eerms then. Gut eas tvexe c way tj pley that piano via kanguage? (I have no pianistic abmlities of mv own.) By virtue of being the gifst piano I rgmember encountering, my grzndparenys’ upright and its dark Southerm desuetude is every
and profound moments I can remember experiencing child. first, the had been simply convey feeling and complexity. years into the training me how to write it, aim shifted from rendering it to rendering its due. I can only say now, though, with hindsight. At the time, the book was a wound I little but live From that first inkling to the book’s acceptance for publication at Jaded Ibis spanned about sixteen the last two to three of which with completed manuscript in hand. had spent thirteen or so writing book, essentially the with one or two having read maybe half of what the book would eventually become. So for me, the process of a publisher it an paralyzing with essential task: to book public. Faced with this rather became that much more acquainted with a certain of ambivalence often feel running through my core, it made even the act of submitting the borderline unbearable — like a secret act some hidden part of myself had to steal do at a weak along the edges my Ultimately, grateful this self-transgression, very grateful to Janice Lee for finding a home for Family with her #RECURRENT series, and for helping Family Album live life, myself. JOE MILAZZO: response to this last prompts to ask: what was seed kernel Looking on book now that it been completed (or, after Valery, abandoned), how do you novel contained within that primary expression? JM: My piano, itself more a piece of furniture a musical instrument, is largely responsible for Crepuscule W/ Nellie. That is, novel itself a desire to render that object phenomenologically, although did not know enough contextualize my descriptions of the piano’s dimensions, finish, action, history associations in terms then. But there a way play that piano (I have pianistic of virtue of being the first piano remember my grandparents’ upright and its Southern every
 and profound moments I can remEmber experIenciNg aS a cHiLd. At FirsT, the aim had been SImplY to render this moment, to cOnvey ItS FeelINg And coMplexitY. seVERal YeArS inTo THe Book tRaiNing me hOw to write iT, thE aIm shifted froM ReNdering it tO reNdering its duE. I cAn only SaY thIS now, tHouGh, witH hindsIGht. At tHe time, the BoOK was a wOUnd I had LITtLe chOice but to live insiDE.

FROm that first inkLing to ThE BoOK’S acCepTance for puBlIcatiON at JadeD ibIS SPanNEd about sixteeN years, the laST twO to thrEe Of wHIch witH the cOmPLetEd manuscripT in hAnd. I had spEnt thiRTeen or sO Years wrIting tHe bOok, EsseNTiAlLy iN tHE daRK, wIth JUst One or two PeOpLe havIng rEAD MAybe HalF of wHat thE book would eveNtuAlly BEcoMe. So fOr me, tHe prOcEss of FindinG a pubLiSher carried with It an OftentimeS paRaLyzInG confROntatiOn wIth PublicaTion’s esSEntIaL TASk: To make a book public. FAcED WiTh this raTher baSIc FaCT, I became ThAt mUch mORE acquAintED wIth a certAin kinD Of AmBivalenCe i often FeEl rUnnIng thROugh My core, And it madE even THe act of submittINg the manuscriPT bORDeRLine UnbEarable — like A secREt acT somE HiDdeN Part oF myseLf HAd TO steal away to do at a weAk Moment Along The edges of my dAy. UltimateLY, i’M gratefuL for THiS Self-transgressIon, anD very grateFUl to JaniCe Lee For findiNg a home foR fAmily AlbUm wIth Her #rECurrEnT series, and foR HElpiNg family ALbuM live a nEw lIfe, OutSidE mYself.

JOE MiLAZZO: JoRdAn’S rEsPonSe to tHIs last quEsTioN pRomPts me TO ask: whAt was The cOmPoSItiOnal seeD Or KERnel Of YoUr noVel? loOking Back ON yoUr book nOw that it hAs bEEn coMpLeTed (or, afTer Valery, suffIcIently abanDoNed), How do yOU See the enTire structure of novel conTAined wiThiN that PrimAry expresSioN?

JM: My gRanDParentS’ piano, ItselF mOre A PIece oF FUrNitUrE than a musiCAL inStrumEnT, is lArgely rEsponsible for CrepuSCulE W/ Nellie. That iS, thE novEL ItSelF SpRAng FrOM a dESIre to render that Object phenOmENoLogically, aLThoUgH I did noT know enOugh tO ContextUalize my dEscriptioNs Of thE PIanO’s dimensioNs, finish, Action, (de)tUNing, hIStOry anD asSociatIoNs iN thosE terms THen. but waS there A wAy to plAy thaT pIano via lAnguage? (I have no pianistic AbilitIes of My oWn.) By virtuE of BEinG the first PianO I remember EncOunTerinG, my GRandpArenTS’ uPriGHt and Its dARk SoutherN DeSueTUDe Is every
 and profound moments I ca n remember  expe rie nci ng  asa ch ild. At first, theaim had been simply to  rend er this mo ment,  to con v ey i tsfe el ing  a n dcompl exi ty. Sev eral years  in to  the book tr a in ing me how  to  write it, t heaim sh if ted fromren derin g it t o  rende ring itsdu e . I ca n  only s a y  t hisnow, though, with hi n dsight. At the  time,  t h eb o okwas  a wound I  h ad li t tle cho i ce b u t t o  live inside. 

From that fir st ink li ngt o thebook’ sa cce ptance forpubl ication a t Jade d  Ibis s p anned a bout s ixt een  yea r s,  t hela s t t w otot hre e of whi ch  w ith t he c o m p l eted  ma nusc riptin hand. I ha d s pent thi rteen  or s o ye ar s wri ting t he bo ok , essentially i n th e dark, w ith  j ust  o ne or two pe opl e h aving r ead may b e h al f o fwhat the book woul de v en tually b ecome. So  f o r me, th epro cess o f fin ding apublishe r carr i ed  w ith itan  often ti mes  pa ralyz i ng c onfron tation w ith p u blication’s es s ential task:t om a ke a bo okpublic. Fac ed w i th t hisr at her basic  fact ,I  b e came that much more  a cquain ted w ith a certain  kind of a m b i valenceI of t en feel running t hroug h my core, and it m ade e ven theact of su b m itting t heman usc rip t bo rderline unbe a r able  —  like a  se cret ac t s ome  hi dde npart of m yself ha dto  s te alawayt o do atawea kmom ent a l ong th e edg es o fmy day . Ultim a te l y , I’ mgr atef ulfo r thi s se l f-t ransgre ssion, an d v e ry g ra te ful toJanice Lee fo rfinding aho mefor Fa m i ly Album  with her #RECURRENT se r ies, an d f or he lpin g FamilyAlb um liv e a new li fe, ou tside  m yse l f .

JO E MI LAZ ZO : Jordan’s r esp onseto  thi s lastquestion prompts m e  to  ask: what wa s t he c o m po sit i on a l s ee d  or k ernel of your n ovel? Look in g  b ack on you r  bo ok  now th at it h as be e n compl eted (or,  after Va le ry,s u ffi ciently ab andoned) , how doy ou se e  t he en tir e stru ct ure  of n ovel c o nta inedwithin  t hat pr imary  e xpressio n?

JM: My grandparents ’ pian o, it sel f more apie c e o f furnitu re t han a musi cal  in strum ent ,  is l arge l yres p onsib le f o r Crepusc u le  W/ N el lie. That i s , the  nove l i t self s pran g from a desire t o  render that o bjec t phe nom e nolo gi cally, althoug h I  d i d  not kno wenough to c ontextua li z e mydescri ptions  of the p ia n o’s di mens ion s, finish , a ct i on, (de )t un i ng, hi stor yand as sociat i onsi n  those terms the n. Bu t was t h ere  a wa yto play that  piano via  language?(I hav e no  pian istic a bi lities  of  m y own.) By virtue of  bein g the f ir st p ian o I re memb e r  enco unte ri ng,  my grand p a re n ts ’u pri ghtand i ts  dar k Souther n  desuetu dei s every 
 and_profound moments_I can remember experiencing_as a_child._At first,_the_aim had been_simply to render_this moment, to convey_its feeling and_complexity._Several years into the book training me how to write it, the aim shifted_from_rendering it_to_rendering_its due. I can only_say this now, though, with_hindsight. At_the time, the book was a wound I_had_little choice but_to live inside.

From that first inkling to the book’s_acceptance for publication at Jaded Ibis_spanned about sixteen_years,_the_last two to three_of which with the completed manuscript_in hand. I had spent thirteen_or so years writing the book, essentially_in the dark, with just one_or two people having read_maybe half_of what the book would_eventually become. So_for me,_the process of_finding a publisher carried with it_an oftentimes paralyzing_confrontation with publication’s essential task: to_make_a book public._Faced_with_this rather_basic fact, I_became_that much_more_acquainted with a certain kind of_ambivalence_I often feel running through my core,_and it made even_the_act of submitting the_manuscript borderline unbearable — like_a secret act some hidden part_of myself_had to_steal away to do at a weak moment along the edges_of my day. Ultimately, I’m grateful_for this self-transgression, and_very grateful_to_Janice Lee for_finding_a home_for Family Album with her #RECURRENT series,_and for_helping Family Album live a new_life, outside myself.

JOE MILAZZO:_Jordan’s_response to this last question prompts_me to ask: what was the_compositional seed or kernel of_your_novel?_Looking back on your book_now that it has been completed_(or, after Valery,_sufficiently abandoned), how do you see the_entire_structure of novel contained within that_primary_expression?

JM: My grandparents’ piano, itself more_a_piece_of furniture than a musical_instrument, is largely responsible for Crepuscule_W/ Nellie. That is, the novel itself sprang from_a desire to_render that object phenomenologically, although_I_did_not know enough to contextualize my descriptions of the piano’s_dimensions, finish,_action, (de)tuning, history_and associations in those terms then. But was there a_way to play that piano via language?_(I have no pianistic abilities of my own.) By virtue of_being the first piano I remember encountering, my_grandparents’ upright and its dark Southern desuetude_is every