 and little sib Ari, Hollywood power-broker and co-CEO of the William Morris Endeavor agency. Hard to find a slacker in that nest of chicks.

Clearly, both strategies can go awry as often as they can go right. Would Billy Ripken, the journeyman Major League infielder who developed a bit of a bad boy rep have done better if he hadn’t followed big brother, Hall of Famer, and national legend Cal into baseball, and instead found his own way? Maybe. Would Neil Bush, who got tangled up in a 1980s savings and loan scandal and has long been something of the dark gray—if not entirely black—sheep of the Bush clan have done better if he’d followed the family lead and entered public service? Could be.

There’s no way of saying how these things shake out and often the reasoning is all ex post facto—with parents applauding or lamenting the path their children took only when those children reach adulthood and everyone can see where those paths led. But parents can do a better job of steering their children when multiple directions are still open to them. The key is to be alert to the contexts—or what family psychologists call the domains—in which each child genuinely thrives and then provide encouragement.

That’s harder than it seems. I came from a family of four boys, all of whom dreamed of being Broadway or movie stars. I might well have achieved that goal except for the teensy fact that I had not a shred of musical or acting skill, though my three brothers did. Nonetheless, I looked happy—kind of—when I did land a part in a school play so I was encouraged to keep at it. Had I done so into adulthood, things would clearly not have ended well. On the other hand, if I had had native skill, I might have been reluctant to take advantage of it if my older brother was already thriving in the same niche and I didn’t want to be compared found wanting.

The trick, or at least the one that seems to be working for my wife and myself as we raise our now 12 and 14 year old daughters, is watching as unobtrusively as possible for what their creative default setting is when they’re left by themselves. Both of our girls study dance, but the younger one lives it, breathes it, drinks it in, hanging pictures of ballet stars on her walls and fussing endlessly to get her bun
and little sib Ari, Hollywood power - broker and co - chief executive officer of the William Morris Endeavor representation. Hard to find a slacker in that nest of chick. 

 distinctly, both strategies can go amiss equally often as they can go right. Would Billy Ripken, the journeyman Major League infielder who developed a morsel of a bad boy rep have do better if he had n’t followed big brother, Hall of Famer, and national legend Cal into baseball, and alternatively found his own way? Maybe. Would Neil Bush, who got entangle up in a 1980s savings and loan scandal and has long been something of the dark grey — if not entirely black — sheep of the Bush clan have done better if he ’d follow the family lead and entered public service? Could be. 

 There ’s no way of say how these things shake out and often the reasoning is all ex post facto — with parents applauding or lamenting the path their children took only when those child reach adulthood and everyone can see where those path lead. But parents can do a better caper of steering their children when multiple directions are still clear to them. The key is to be alert to the contexts — or what family psychologists call the domains — in which each child authentically thrives and then provide encouragement. 

 That ’s harder than it seem. I came from a class of four boys, all of whom dreamed of being Broadway or movie stars. I might well have achieved that goal except for the teensy fact that I had not a rag of musical or acting skill, though my three brothers did. Nonetheless, I looked happy — kind of — when I did land a part in a school play so I was encourage to keep at it. Had I done thus into adulthood, things would intelligibly not have ended well. On the early hand, if I had had native skill, I might have been loath to take advantage of it if my older brother was already thriving in the same recess and I did n’t want to be compared found wanting. 

 The trick, or at least the one that seems to be working for my wife and myself as we raise our now 12 and 14 class old daughters, is watch as unobtrusively as possible for what their creative default setting is when they ’re left by themselves. Both of our girls study dancing, but the younger one lives it, breathes it, drinks it in, hanging pictures of ballet stars on her walls and fuss infinitely to get her bun
 anf little sib Ari, Hollywoud power-broker cbd co-CXO of tge Willixm Morris Endeavor agency. Hacd ti fine a slacker in that nert of chibks.

Clearlt, bouh strategies can go awry as offcn as vhey can go rigmt. Would Binly Ripken, the juuxneyman Major League infielder who dqvelopec w bit of a bad boy wep gave done better if he hadn’t follosed big brother, Hall of Famer, and national legfnd Fal into baseball, wnd instead fouge his own wah? Maybe. Wolnd Neil Buah, who got tangled up in a 1980s saxings and loan wcqndwn and has ling bven something of the gark grsy—if not entircly bnacj—sheep of the Bush clen have done better yf he’d fonlkwed the family lwae and entared pubuic sxrvjce? Cokld be.

There’s ho way of sqying how these thimgf shake out ans ofteg ehe reasoning is all ex post facto—with karenfs applauding or lamentung the path their chlldren tojk only when those children reach adulthood and eeeryoie cau see dyege those paths led. But parents can do a bettew jpb of steering tmeir children when mklyyple directiovs are stjll open to them. Tje key ys to be alert to yhe contexts—or what family psychologistf call the domains—iu which each chikd gemuinely thrives and theu provjde encourahement.

Thaf’r harder than it sevms. H came from a family of fotr boys, aol oy whom dfeamgd of bqing Broadaay ov movie stars. I migjt wepl have achifved that goal except for the txxnsy fact thaj I hag not a fhred of musical ow acting skill, though my tfree brothvrs did. Nmnetheless, Y looked happf—nind of—when M did lanq a part in a szfool play so I was encolrcged to kwep at it. Had I doke so jnto adulthood, ckibgs would clearky vot hwvx endqg well. On tha otfer nand, kf I had hab vatife skill, I might hava besn reluctant to tale advantate of it if my older nrother was alreadj thrmving mn the saie niche and I didn’t want to bs comparef fjund wanting.

Ehe brich, or at lecst the one that seems to be working for my wife and myseld as we raise our npe 12 and 14 yeac old qaughters, is watching as unobrrusively as posslble for what their crsative defaklt setting is when they’re left by themselves. Both of our girls study danxe, but the younger one livev nt, yreathef it, vrinks it in, hangpng pictures of ballet stars on ier walls dnb fussing endlessly to get het cun
and little sib Ari, Hollywood power-broker and the Morris Endeavor Hard to find of Clearly, both strategies go awry as as they can go right. Would Ripken, the journeyman Major League infielder who developed a bit of a bad rep have done better if he hadn’t followed big brother, Hall of Famer, national Cal baseball, instead found his own way? Maybe. Would Neil Bush, who got tangled up in a 1980s and loan scandal and has long been something the dark gray—if not black—sheep of the Bush clan done if he’d the lead entered public service? be. There’s no way of saying how these things shake out and often the reasoning is all post facto—with or lamenting path children only when those adulthood and everyone can see where But parents can do a better job of their children multiple directions are still open to The key is to be alert to the what family psychologists call the domains—in which each child genuinely thrives and then provide encouragement. than it seems. I from a family four all whom of being or movie stars. I might well have achieved that goal except the teensy fact that I had not a shred of acting though my three did. Nonetheless, I looked of—when did land a part school so to at Had I done so adulthood, things would clearly not ended well. On the had native skill, I might have been reluctant take advantage of it if my older was already thriving in the same niche and I didn’t want to compared found trick, or at least the one that seems be working for my and myself as we raise our now 12 and year daughters, is as unobtrusively as for what their default setting is left by Both our but the younger one lives it, it, it in, hanging pictures of stars walls and fussing endlessly to get her bun
 and little sib Ari, Hollywood pOwer-broker And co-cEO Of tHe willIam MOrris Endeavor aGEncy. hard to find a slacker in thAt nesT oF ChicKS.

CLearlY, both stRAtEGIes CaN gO awRy AS oFten aS thEy can go Right. Would bilLy ripken, the jouRNeYman Major LEagUe infielder wHo dEvelopEd A biT Of a baD boY rep hAve donE Better If he hadn’t FoLLowed bIG brotheR, hAlL of FAmer, and national leGEnD cal into basebalL, and inStEAd FOUnd His Own way? MaybE. WOuld NEIl Bush, wHO gOT TAngLEd up in a 1980s savinGs and loan scANdaL and haS lOng BEen somEthinG oF The Dark gray—if nOt enTirely blaCk—sheeP Of the BuSH clan haVe done BetTer If he’D FoLlOweD tHE faMIlY leAD anD entered PuBlIc serVice? cOULD be.

THerE’s no Way of Saying how thesE thIngs SHakE out aNd oftEn thE rEasonIng is aLl ex pOsT facto—with parenTs apPlauding oR laMeNtiNg The paTH their ChiLdrEn took oNly when THosE cHILDrEn reach adulthood anD eVERyOne can seE where THoSe PAths led. BUt ParEnts CAN do a bEtteR JoB of steerIng theIR cHiLdren whEn MultipLe DirEctIons aRE stiLl open To them. ThE key iS To be alert to the COntexts—or what FAmILY pSYchoLogIsts call the DomaINs—in WhicH EaCh cHIld geNuineLy THrIVes and then provide enCoUragemEnt.

ThAt’s harder than It seems. I caME FRom a famiLy of FOuR Boys, all of whom dReameD of being BrOAdway or mOvie sTars. I migHt well havE AChieved tHat GoaL exCepT FOr The teensy fact THAt I hAd Not a shrEd oF musicaL or ActIng SkiLl, Though my tHree brotHeRs DiD. NOneTheleSS, I looked HaPpy—KiNd oF—when i Did lanD a parT in a ScHoOL plAy so I waS EnCOUragEd To Keep At iT. HAd I doNe so INto AdulthoOd, things wOulD CleaRlY nOt have eNded well. On the OtHer hand, if I HaD haD nativE SKill, I migHt have been reluctant to taKE advantAge Of it iF my oLder brothEr wAs alreAdy THrivinG in the Same nIcHe aND i didn’T WAnT to Be Compared foUND waNting.

thE triCk, or at lEast the one that seemS To bE working for my WifE and MYSeLf aS We RAisE oUR noW 12 ANd 14 year old daughtErs, is watchInG As UnobtrusivELy aS pOssible For what Their CReative Default seTting is whEn They’RE LefT by themselVes. Both oF our girls STudy dANcE, but tHe yOunger OnE liVes it, BreathES it, DrinkS it in, hAnGing piCtureS oF ballet sTars on her walls and fussinG endleSsly tO geT her bun
 and little sib Ari, Holly wood power -brok erand  c o-CE O of  the William M o rris  Endeavor agency. Hard  to f in d  a s l ac ker i n thatn es t ofch ic ks. 
C le arly,  bo th stra tegies can  go  a wry as often as  they cangoright. Would  Bi lly Ri pk en, the j our neyma n Majo r  Leagu e infield er who de v elopeda bi t of  a bad boy rep ha v ed one better ifhe had n’ t  f o l low edbig brothe r,  Hall of Fame r ,a n d  na t ional legendCal into ba s eba ll, an dins t ead fo und h is own  way? Maybe . Wo uld NeilBush,w ho gott angledup ina 1 980 s sa v in gs  an dl oan sc and a l a nd has l on gbeensome t h i n g of  th e da rk gr ay—if not ent ire ly b l ack —shee p oftheBu sh cl an hav e don ebetter if he’dfoll owed thefam il y l ea d and entere d p ubl ic serv ice? Co u ldbe . Th ere’s no way of sa yi n g  h ow these  thing s  s ha k e out an doft en t h e  reas onin g  i s all ex  postf ac to —with p ar ents a pp lau din g orl amen ting t he paththeir children tooko nly when thos e  c h i ld r en r eac h adulthood  and ever yone ca n s e e whe re th os e  p a ths led. But parent scan do  a be tter job of s teering th e i r  childre n wh e nm ultiple direct ionsare stillo pen to t hem.The keyis to bea l ert to t hecon tex ts— o r  w hat family ps y c holo gi sts cal l t he doma ins —in  wh ich  e ach child  genuine ly  t hr iv esand t h en provi de  en co ura gemen t .

Tha t’s h arde rth a n i t seems .  I c amefr om  a f ami ly  of f ourb oys , all o f whom dr eam e d of  b ei ng Broa dway or movie  s tars. I mi gh t w ell ha v e  achieve d that goal except fort he teen syfactthat  I had no t a  shred  of musica l or a cting  s kil l ,  thou g h  m y t hr ee brother s did . Non et hele ss, I l ooked happy—kind o f —wh en I did land  apart i na s c ho o l p la y  so I  was encouraged  to keep a ti t.  Had I don e  so  i nto adu lthood,  thin g s would  clearlynot haveen dedw e ll.  On the ot her hand , if I ha d  hadn at ive s kil l, I m ig hthavebeen r e luc tantto tak eadvant age o fit if my  older brother was alre ady th rivin g i n the sam e n i che  and I di dn’t  want to b e c omp aredfou n d wan ting . 
The trick , or at leastt he  on e th at seems to b e  wo rking  fo r  my wi fe a nd myself as we r a ise our now 12  and 1 4 y ear oldda ughters, is wa tch in g as unobt ru sively as p ossiblefo r  what  their  creat ive def a u lt settin g is  wh en they’r e l ef t  by the ms el v es. Bo th o four gi rls st u dy d a n ce, but the youn ger o n e  live s  it , bre at hes it, drin ks it in,hanging pic turesof b allet  starson  her w all sand fussin g  endlessl y toget her  b un
 and_little sib_Ari, Hollywood power-broker and_co-CEO of_the_William Morris_Endeavor_agency. Hard to_find a slacker_in that nest of_chicks.

Clearly, both strategies_can_go awry as often as they can go right. Would Billy Ripken, the journeyman_Major_League infielder_who_developed_a bit of a bad_boy rep have done better_if he_hadn’t followed big brother, Hall of Famer, and_national_legend Cal into_baseball, and instead found his own way? Maybe. Would_Neil Bush, who got tangled up_in a 1980s_savings_and_loan scandal and has_long been something of the dark_gray—if not entirely black—sheep of the_Bush clan have done better if he’d_followed the family lead and entered_public service? Could be.

There’s no_way of_saying how these things shake_out and often_the reasoning_is all ex_post facto—with parents applauding or lamenting_the path their_children took only when those children_reach_adulthood and everyone_can_see_where those_paths led. But_parents_can do_a_better job of steering their children_when_multiple directions are still open to them._The key is to_be_alert to the contexts—or_what family psychologists call the_domains—in which each child genuinely thrives_and then_provide encouragement.

That’s_harder than it seems. I came from a family of four_boys, all of whom dreamed of_being Broadway or movie_stars. I_might_well have achieved_that_goal except_for the teensy fact that I had_not a_shred of musical or acting skill,_though my three brothers_did._Nonetheless, I looked happy—kind of—when I_did land a part in a_school play so I was_encouraged_to_keep at it. Had I_done so into adulthood, things would_clearly not have_ended well. On the other hand, if_I_had had native skill, I might_have_been reluctant to take advantage of_it_if_my older brother was already_thriving in the same niche and_I didn’t want to be compared found wanting.

The trick,_or at least_the one that seems to_be_working_for my wife and myself as we raise our now_12 and_14 year old_daughters, is watching as unobtrusively as possible for what their_creative default setting is when they’re left_by themselves. Both of our girls study dance, but the younger_one lives it, breathes it, drinks it in,_hanging pictures of ballet stars on her_walls and fussing endlessly_to_get her bun