 picnics and outdoor barbecues. On the positive side, Thornbush holds the world record for the farthest softball ever batted when a tornado hit just when Derwood McNulty, the clean up batter on the Thornbush Twisters, whacked a softball and sent it all the way to neighboring Locoweed County. 17.4 miles, it was. Unfortunately for Derwood, the tornado also picked him up and sent him on the way to Locoweed County, too. But, fortunately--more or less--for Derwood, he didn't follow the softball all the 17.4 miles to Locoweed County. A cottonwood tree on the edge of the ball field intercepted him and detoured him to the Thornbush Regional Hospital Emergency Room instead. Even that wasn't all bad. Derwood hit it off with Linda Sue Menoplast, the EMT who took him to the hospital, and they eventually walked the aisle to matrimony." Art Smudge tapped his chest proudly. "I was best man." Adding. "It was one hell of a wedding party." A frown. "Until another tornado hit and the bridal couple's car was jerked out of the parking lot and plunked top down into Spotted Skunk Creek." A shrug. "About that time I started to seriously consider moving to somewhere less tornado prone." About this time both Alberto and Eloise had absolutely no doubt that this Art Smudge guy liked to talk.

"So where," Alberto retorted in a miffed and obviously impatient tone, "does the Serbian American Benevolent Society come in that you mentioned on the phone?" Art Smudge shrugged.

"Oh, that's just so we can keep our tax exempt charity status with the IRS. "Worked good so far," he said.

"And how long be that?" Said the suspicious and borderline paranoid minded Eloise, who after all was raised in a Communist police state where saying the wrong thing about the local party boss to your hair stylist could land you in a hard labor prison somewhere in the boondocks of the Tibetan Plateau earning two cents an hour making Nike knockoffs for the lucrative export market managed by somewhat flexible Chinese Communist officials with bulging bank accounts.

"Just under three months," Art Smudge replied without so much as a blink of an eye.

This train of conversation seemed to Alberto to be going down a dead end track, so
picnics and outdoor barbecues. On the positive side, Thornbush reserve the populace record for the farthest softball ever bat when a tornado hit merely when Derwood McNulty, the clean up batter on the Thornbush Twisters, whacked a softball and send it all the way to neighboring Locoweed County. 17.4 sea mile, it was. Unfortunately for Derwood, the tornado also blame him up and sent him on the way to Locoweed County, too. But, fortunately -- more or less -- for Derwood, he didn't follow the softball all the 17.4 miles to Locoweed County. A cottonwood tree on the boundary of the ball field intercepted him and detour him to the Thornbush Regional Hospital Emergency Room instead. Even that wasn't all bad. Derwood hit it off with Linda Sue Menoplast, the EMT who took him to the hospital, and they finally walked the aisle to marriage. " Art Smudge tapped his chest proudly. " I was best man. " add. " It was one hell of a wedding party. " A frown. " Until another tornado hit and the bridal couple's car was buck out of the parking bunch and plunked top down into Spotted Skunk Creek. " A shrug. " About that time I started to seriously view move to somewhere less tornado prone. " About this time both Alberto and Eloise take absolutely no doubt that this Art Smudge guy liked to talk. 

 " So where, " Alberto retort in a miffed and obviously impatient timbre, " does the Serbian American Benevolent Society come in that you mentioned on the telephone? " Art Smudge shrugged. 

 " Oh, that's just so we can keep our tax exempt charity status with the IRS. " Worked good so far, " he said. 

 " And how long be that? " Said the leery and borderline paranoid beware Eloise, who after all was raised in a Communist police state where saying the faulty thing about the local party boss to your hair stylist could land you in a hard labor prison somewhere in the boondocks of the Tibetan Plateau earn two cents an hour make Nike knockoffs for the lucrative export market pull off by somewhat elastic Chinese Communist official with bulging savings bank accounts. 

 " Just under three months, " Art Smudge replied without so a lot as a blink of an eye. 

 This train of conversation seemed to Alberto to be fit down a dead end track, so
 pifnics and outdoor barbecmes. On the positnce sidx, Thorngush holas the world record for the hartyest woftball ever batted wfen a torjado hit jusu when Derwood McIhlty, thc clezk up yavter on the Thotnbush Twistars, whacked a vowtyall and sent it all the way to neigrboring Llcoweed County. 17.4 mikqs, if was. Unfortunately for Derwood, ths tornavo also picked nim up and sent him on the way to Locoweed Countj, too. But, firtugqtely--more or less--for Dtrcood, he didh't follow the softball all the 17.4 milex to Locowgze Clonty. A cottoiwood nree on the edge of tve ball field interceited iim qnd detoured him to tie Thornbush Regionaj Hospitan Zmergency Room insteae. Wven jhat fasn'g alu bzd. Dsrwood hiv it off wifh Linda Suw Menoplast, the EMT wri took him to the hjs[ital, and they eventually walked the aivle to matrimony." Art Smudgw tapped his chest prludly. "I wws best man." Adding. "It was one hell of a wedding pdrty." E wrock. "Jbtll another tornado hit and the bridal couple's dat eas jerked out of the parlijg jot and plunkgd top bkwh into Spotted Skujk Creeh." A syrug. "Abouu thay time I started to seriousoy consider iiving to somewhere less tornabo prome." Abput this time both Albexto ans Eloise haf absolutsuy no doubt that thps Ast Smudgt guy liked to talh.

"So where," Albzrto returtec in a miffed anf obvlmusly impatient toje, "dogs the Serbian Alerican Benevolent Society come in that you mgnthonvd on the phonc?" Art Smudge shwugged.

"Oh, that's just sj we zan keep olr tax exxmpt charity status with dje IRS. "Workev good so far," he waid.

"And fow long be thst?" Said tkt suspicioys and borderline iaranujd minded Eloisz, qho after all wss faifef mn a Smmmunist polhce rtagr whefe saying tme dronb thing about the lowal larty boss to your hwir stylust coulq land you in a hard labor prisln sokewiere im tre boondocks of the Tibetan Plzteau earjinn two cents ag homr mwking Nike knockoffs for the lucrative export marjet managed by somwwhat flexible Chingse Communist pfficyals with bulging bank accounrs.

"Just under thret months," Art Smudge repmied whthouh so much as a blink of an eye.

This train of conversation seemed to Alberti to bx doing down z desd eng craek, so
picnics and outdoor barbecues. On the positive holds world record the farthest softball hit when Derwood McNulty, clean up batter the Thornbush Twisters, whacked a softball sent it all the way to neighboring Locoweed County. 17.4 miles, it was. for Derwood, the tornado also picked him up and sent him on the to County, But, or less--for Derwood, he didn't follow the softball all the 17.4 miles to Locoweed County. A tree on the edge of the ball field him and detoured him the Thornbush Regional Hospital Emergency instead. that wasn't bad. hit off with Linda Menoplast, the EMT who took him to the hospital, and they eventually walked the aisle to matrimony." Smudge tapped proudly. "I best Adding. was one hell wedding party." A frown. "Until another the bridal couple's car was jerked out of parking lot plunked top down into Spotted Skunk A shrug. "About that time I started to consider moving to somewhere less tornado prone." About this time both Alberto and Eloise had doubt that this Art guy liked to "So Alberto in miffed and impatient tone, "does the Serbian American Benevolent Society come in that mentioned on the phone?" Art Smudge shrugged. "Oh, that's just can our tax exempt status with the IRS. good far," he said. "And be Said borderline minded who after all was in a Communist police state saying the wrong thing to your hair stylist could land you in hard labor prison somewhere in the boondocks the Tibetan Plateau earning two cents an hour making Nike knockoffs for lucrative export by somewhat flexible Chinese Communist officials with bulging accounts. "Just under three Art Smudge replied without so much as a blink an This train conversation seemed to to be going a dead end
 picnics and outdoor barbecueS. On the posiTive sIde, thoRnBush HoldS the world recorD For tHe farthest softball ever BatteD wHEn a tORnAdo hiT just whEN DERWooD MCNUltY, tHE cLean uP baTter on tHe ThornbusH TwIsTers, whacked a SOfTball and seNt iT all the way to NeiGhboriNg locOWeed COunTy. 17.4 milEs, it waS. unfortUnately foR DERwood, tHE tornadO ALsO picKed him up and sent hiM On THe way to LocoweeD CountY, tOO. BUT, ForTunAtely--more oR lEss--foR derwood, HE dIDN'T foLLow the softbalL all the 17.4 mileS To LOcoweeD COunTY. A cottOnwooD tREe oN the edge of tHe baLl field inTercepTEd him anD DetoureD him to The thoRnbuSH REgIonAl hOspITaL EmERgeNcy Room iNsTeAd. EveN thaT WASN't alL baD. DerWood hIt it off with LiNda sue MENopLast, tHe EMT Who tOoK him tO the hoSpitaL, aNd they eventuallY walKed the aisLe tO mAtrImOny." ArT smudge TapPed His chesT proudlY. "i waS bEST MaN." Adding. "It was one helL oF A WeDding parTy." A froWN. "UNtIL another ToRnaDo hiT ANd the BridAL cOuple's caR was jeRKeD oUt of the PaRking lOt And PluNked tOP dowN into SPotted SkUnk CrEEk." A shrug. "About tHAt time I starteD To SERiOUsly ConSider moving To soMEwheRe leSS tOrnADo proNe." AboUt THiS Time both Alberto and ELoIse had AbsolUtely no doubt tHat this Art sMUDge guy liKed tO TaLK.

"So where," AlbertO retoRted in a mifFEd and obvIouslY impatieNt tone, "doeS THe SerbiaN AmEriCan benEVOlEnt Society comE IN thaT yOu mentiOneD on the pHonE?" ArT SmUdgE sHrugged.

"Oh, That's jusT sO wE cAn KeeP our tAX exempt cHaRitY sTatUs witH The IRS. "workeD gooD sO fAR," he Said.

"And HOw LONg be ThAt?" said The SuSpiciOus aND boRderlinE paranoid MinDEd ElOiSe, Who afteR all was raised In A Communist PoLicE state WHEre sayinG the wrong thing about the lOCal partY boSs to yOur hAir stylisT coUld lanD yoU In a harD labor PrisoN sOmeWHEre in THE bOonDoCks of the TiBETan plateAu EarnIng two cEnts an hour making NiKE knOckoffs for the LucRatiVE ExPorT MaRKet MaNAgeD BY somewhat flexibLe Chinese COmMUnIst officiaLS wiTh Bulging Bank accOunts.

"jUst undeR three monThs," Art SmuDgE repLIEd wIthout so muCh as a bliNk of an eye.

tHis trAIn Of conVerSation SeEmeD to AlBerto tO Be gOing dOwn a deAd End traCk, so
 picnics and outdoor barbe cues. On t he po sit ive  s ide,  Tho rnbush holds t h e wo rld record for the far thest  s o ftba l leverbattedw he n a t or na dohi t  j ust w hen  Derwoo d McNulty,  th eclean up bat t er  on the Th orn bush Twister s,whacke da s o ftbal l a nd se nt ita ll the  way to n ei g hborin g  Locowe e d  C ount y. 17.4 miles, it wa s . Unfortunatel y forDe r wo o d , t hetornado al so  pick e d him u p  a n d sen t  him on the w ay to Locow e edCounty ,too .  But,fortu na t ely --more or l ess- -for Derw ood, h e  didn't followthe so ftb all  all th e17. 4m ile s  t o L o cow eed Coun ty .A cot tonw o o d tree  on  the  edge  of the ballfie ld i n ter cepte d him  and  d etour ed him  to t he  Thornbush Regi onal  Hospital  Em er gen cy  Room instea d.Eve n thatwasn'ta llba d . De rwood hit it off w it h Li nda SueMenopl a st ,t he EMT w ho  to ok h i m  to t he h o sp ital, an d they ev en tuallywa lked t he  ai sle  to m a trim ony."Art Smud ge ta p ped his chestp roudly. "I wa s  b e s tm an."  Ad ding. "It w as o n e he ll o f  a  we d dingparty ." Af rown. "Until anothe rtornad o hit  and the brid al couple' s c ar was j erke d  o u t of the parki ng lo t and plun k ed top d own i nto Spot ted Skunk C reek." A  sh rug . " Abo u t  t hat time I st a r tedto  seriou sly  consid ermov ing  to  s omewhereless tor na do  p ro ne. " Abo u t this t im e b ot h A lbert o  and E loise  had  a bs o lut ely nod ou b t  tha tth is A rtSm udgeguyl ike d to ta lk.

"Sowhe r e,"Al be rto ret orted in a mi ff ed and obv io usl y impa t i ent tone , "does the Serbian Ame r ican Be nev olent  Soc iety come  in  thatyou mentio ned on  theph one ? "  ArtS m ud gesh rugged.

" O h , t hat's  j ustso we c an keep our tax ex e mpt  charity stat uswith t he  IR S ." Wor ke d  go o d  so far," he sa id.

"Andho w  l ong be tha t ?"Sa id thesuspici ous a n d borde rline par anoid min de d El o i se,  who after  all was  raised i n  a Co m mu nistpol ice st at e w heresaying the  wron g thin gaboutthe l oc al party  boss to your hair styl ist co uld l and  you in a  ha r d l abor pris on s omewhere i n t heboond ock s  of t he T i be tan Plate au e a rning two ce nts a nhour making N i keknock off s  for t he l ucrative export m a rket managed b y so m e wha t f l exib le  Chinese Commu nis to f ficialswi th bulgingbank acc ou n ts.
"Justunderthree m o n th s ," Art  Smu dge  repliedwit ho u t so mu ch  a s  a bli nk o fan eye .

Thi s  tra i n  of conversation  seem e d  to A l ber to to  b e going down  a dead en d track, so 
 picnics_and outdoor_barbecues. On the positive_side, Thornbush_holds_the world_record_for the farthest_softball ever batted_when a tornado hit_just when Derwood_McNulty,_the clean up batter on the Thornbush Twisters, whacked a softball and sent it_all_the way_to_neighboring_Locoweed County. 17.4 miles, it_was. Unfortunately for Derwood, the_tornado also_picked him up and sent him on the_way_to Locoweed County,_too. But, fortunately--more or less--for Derwood, he didn't follow_the softball all the 17.4 miles_to Locoweed County._A_cottonwood_tree on the edge_of the ball field intercepted him_and detoured him to the Thornbush_Regional Hospital Emergency Room instead. Even that_wasn't all bad. Derwood hit it_off with Linda Sue Menoplast,_the EMT_who took him to the_hospital, and they_eventually walked_the aisle to_matrimony." Art Smudge tapped his chest_proudly. "I was_best man." Adding. "It was one_hell_of a wedding_party."_A_frown. "Until_another tornado hit_and_the bridal_couple's_car was jerked out of the_parking_lot and plunked top down into Spotted_Skunk Creek." A shrug._"About_that time I started_to seriously consider moving to_somewhere less tornado prone." About this_time both_Alberto and_Eloise had absolutely no doubt that this Art Smudge guy liked_to talk.

"So where," Alberto retorted in_a miffed and obviously_impatient tone,_"does_the Serbian American_Benevolent_Society come_in that you mentioned on the phone?"_Art Smudge_shrugged.

"Oh, that's just so we can_keep our tax exempt_charity_status with the IRS. "Worked good_so far," he said.

"And how long_be that?" Said the suspicious_and_borderline_paranoid minded Eloise, who after_all was raised in a Communist_police state where_saying the wrong thing about the local_party_boss to your hair stylist could_land_you in a hard labor prison_somewhere_in_the boondocks of the Tibetan_Plateau earning two cents an hour_making Nike knockoffs for the lucrative export market managed_by somewhat flexible_Chinese Communist officials with bulging_bank_accounts.

"Just_under three months," Art Smudge replied without so much as_a blink_of an eye.

This_train of conversation seemed to Alberto to be going down_a dead end track, so