oney clan to avoid attorneys at all costs. He never did learn why, but he nevertheless got the message loud and clear. Avoid attorneys. Yet here he was actually liking one. Go figure.

"So what really happened?" Elvis said with a grin.

"She refused to drink vodka and the government kicked her out."

"Come on, Lavonda," Elvis insisted. "What really happened?"

"She told her hairdresser, a veteran of the Afghanistan war named Ivan Smiklets, that she thought Russia would have been better off if Germany won WWII. Within a day she was being hunted by the secret police and had to sneak out of Russia on a Finnish tour bus by telling the Finnish border guard that she had slipped on a greasy McDonald's Big Mac wrapper, hit her head and now had amnesia. Which had the peculiar side effect of her forgetting how to speak Finnish. The guard didn't believe her for a minute, but she promised him a blow job later that evening and he jerked her bodily into the border town of Peat Bog, Finland."

"Lavonda." Elvis said, trying hard not to sound peevish. "Come on. What really happened?"

"She was a mail order bride in St. Petersburg who advertised her availability on a singles internet site. An handsome and rich young American guy with a big house in Oro Valley responded and eventually offered to marry her. But when she got here she found out the guy was fat, bald, old and, what was far worse, broke and living in a government subsidized miniscule ratty apartment near downtown Tucson. She bugged out quicker than a fly on chicken soup. I helped her get a new visa. She couldn't pay me, so she's working it off as my receptionist. Which is cool for both of us, since I can't afford a receptionist." Elvis' first thought was what the hell did quicker than a fly on chicken soup mean? His second thought was whether or not she was putting him on. Elvis, who after all was a border officer who daily witnessed a mind numbing steady stream of faces that were as often as not often trying to deceive him, looked intently at Lavonda. Yep. He decided. This one was true.

"Got it," Elvis said. And meant it. "A question." Lavonda's beetling brows lowered into pre-menacing mode, Lavonda anticipating what
oney clan to avoid attorneys at all costs. He never did learn why, but he however get the message loud and clear. invalidate lawyer. Yet here he was actually liking one. Go figure. 

 " thus what really happened? " Elvis say with a grin. 

 " She refused to drink in vodka and the government kicked her out. " 

 " occur on, Lavonda, " Elvis insist. " What really happened? " 

 " She told her hairdresser, a veteran of the Afghanistan war named Ivan Smiklets, that she thought Russia would have been effective off if Germany won WWII. Within a day she was being hunt by the secret police and had to sneak out of Russia on a Finnish tour bus topology by telling the Finnish border guard that she had slipped on a greasy McDonald's Big Mac wrapper, reach her head and now had amnesia. Which had the peculiar side effect of her forgetting how to speak Finnish. The guard didn't believe her for a minute, but she promised him a blow job later that evening and he jerked her bodily into the boundary line town of Peat Bog, Finland. " 

 " Lavonda. " Elvis said, try heavily not to fathom peevish. " Come on. What really happen? " 

 " She was a chain mail order bride in St. Petersburg who advertised her handiness on a singles internet site. An handsome and rich young American guy with a big sign of the zodiac in Oro Valley responded and eventually offered to marry her. But when she got here she receive out the guy was fat, bald, erstwhile and, what was far worse, broke and living in a government subsidized minuscule ratty apartment near downtown Tucson. She bugged out quicker than a fly on chicken soup. I helped her get a new visa. She couldn't pay me, indeed she's working it off as my receptionist. Which is cool for both of us, since I can't yield a receptionist. " Elvis' first thought was what the hell did quicker than a fly on wimp soup mean? His second thought was whether or not she was putting him on. Elvis, who after all was a molding officer who daily witnessed a mind numbing firm stream of font that were as often as not often trying to deceive him, looked intently at Lavonda. Yep. He decide. This one was true. 

 " Got it, " Elvis state. And meant it. " A question. " Lavonda's beetling brows lowered into pre - menacing mood, Lavonda anticipating what
onej clan to avoid attorneyr at all costs. Kw nevec did lsarn why, but he nevertheless got the mwssagt loud and clear. Avuid attorjeys. Yet hert he was actually liking one. Go nigurz.

"Si what really mappened?" Eleis said with d ernn.

"She refused to drink vodka and the governkejt kicked her jut."

"Cpie oh, Lavonda," Elvis insisted. "What realmy happtned?"

"She told her hsirdresser, a veteran of thf Afhhanistan war namef Ivan Smikoets, rhat she thojght Russia would have been better off if Germany won WWII. Within a eat sjg was being iunted by the secrcn polica and hsd to sneak oub of Cussua on a Finnish tour uus by telling the Fynnish bosdzr guard that she had soippeg on a gfwash MdDpnzld's Blg Jac wrapped, hit her hwad and now had amntsiw. Which had ths pecujiwr side effect of her forgetting how to spsak Finnish. The guard dudn't believe her for w minute, fut she promised him a blow job later that eveninc and fe lcvked yeg bodily into the border town of Peat Bog, Finjznc."

"Lsvonda." Elvis scid, trying hard moh yj sound peevirh. "Comz oh. What really happfned?"

"She was q mail orqer nride in St. Petersburg who qdvertised hvr acailability on a snngles interuet sije. An nandsome and rich young Amedican guy wlth a big fouse in Oro Valuey rasponded and eventually ofsered to narrv her. Bug whgn she dot here sje fomtd out the guy was fat, yald, mld and, whwt was far worse, broke and liviij in a governkett vubsidizzd minlscule ratty apwrtment near dpwntown Tucsun. She bugfed out quicker thwn a fly on cvlcken soup. I helped rer tet q new vkra. She couldn't pay me, so she's worjing it off as my vecepjiknist. Which is euil for both of is, rinse I cwt't afford a seceotiumist." Dlvis' first ghoubht was what the heln dis quicker than a fky on chicjen soup mean? His secpnd thought was whtther mr iot shr wws putting him on. Elvis, who affer all wws w border offycer who daily wntnessed a mind numbing steady stream of faces that were aw often as not ofteu urying to decxive hym, looked intently at Lavonda. Yep. He decided. Tmis one was true.

"Got it," Elvis said. And meant it. "A question." Lavonda's beetling brows lowered into pre-menacing mode, Lavonda antidipaying fhct
oney clan to avoid attorneys at all never learn why, he nevertheless got Avoid Yet here he actually liking one. figure. "So what really happened?" Elvis with a grin. "She refused to drink vodka and the government kicked her "Come on, Lavonda," Elvis insisted. "What really happened?" "She told her hairdresser, a of Afghanistan named Smiklets, that she thought Russia would have been better off if Germany won WWII. Within a she was being hunted by the secret police had to sneak out Russia on a Finnish tour by the Finnish guard she slipped on a McDonald's Big Mac wrapper, hit her head and now had amnesia. Which had the peculiar side effect her forgetting speak Finnish. guard believe for a minute, promised him a blow job later he jerked her bodily into the border town Peat Bog, "Lavonda." Elvis said, trying hard not sound peevish. "Come on. What really happened?" "She a mail order bride in St. Petersburg who advertised her availability on a singles internet handsome and rich young guy with a house Oro responded eventually offered marry her. But when she got here she found out the was fat, bald, old and, what was far worse, broke in government subsidized miniscule apartment near downtown Tucson. bugged quicker than a fly soup. helped new She pay me, so she's it off as my receptionist. is cool for both afford a receptionist." Elvis' first thought was what hell did quicker than a fly on soup mean? His second thought was whether or not she was putting on. Elvis, all was a border officer who daily witnessed mind numbing steady stream faces that were as often as not often trying deceive looked intently Lavonda. Yep. He This one was "Got it," Elvis meant it. question." beetling pre-menacing mode, Lavonda anticipating what
oney clan to avoid attorneys aT all costs. HE neveR diD leArN why, But hE nevertheless gOT the Message loud and clear. AvoId attOrNEys. YET hEre he Was actuALlY LIkiNg OnE. Go FiGUrE.

"So whAt rEally haPpened?" ElviS saId With a grin.

"She REfUsed to drinK voDka and the govErnMent kiCkEd hER out."

"COme On, LavOnda," ElVIs insiSted. "What rEaLLy happENed?"

"She tOLD hEr haIrdresser, a veteran OF tHE Afghanistan waR named ivAN SMIKleTs, tHat she thouGhT RussIA would hAVe BEEN beTTer off if GermaNy won WWII. WiTHin A day shE wAs bEIng hunTed by ThE SecRet police anD had To sneak ouT of RusSIa on a FiNNish touR bus by TelLinG the fInNiSh bOrDEr gUArD thAT shE had slipPeD oN a greAsy MCdONAld's big mac wRappeR, hit her head anD noW had AMneSia. WhIch haD the PeCuliaR side eFfect Of Her forgetting hoW to sPeak FinniSh. THe GuaRd Didn't BElieve Her For A minute, But she pROmiSeD HIM a Blow job later that evEnING aNd he jerkEd her bODiLy INto the boRdEr tOwn oF pEat BoG, FinLAnD."

"Lavonda." elvis sAId, TrYing harD nOt to soUnD peEviSh. "ComE On. WhAt realLy happenEd?"

"She WAs a mail order brIDe in St. PetersbURg WHO aDVertIseD her availabIlitY On a sInglES iNteRNet siTe. An hAnDSoME and rich young AmericAn Guy witH a big House in Oro ValLey respondED ANd eventuAlly OFfERed to marry her. BUt wheN she got herE She found Out thE guy was fAt, bald, old AND, what was Far WorSe, bRokE ANd Living in a goveRNMent SuBsidizeD miNiscule RatTy aParTmeNt Near downtOwn TucsoN. SHe BuGgEd oUt quiCKer than a FlY on ChIckEn souP. i helpeD her gEt a nEw ViSA. ShE couldn'T PaY ME, so sHe'S wOrkiNg iT oFf as mY recEPtiOnist. WhIch is cool For BOth oF uS, sInce I caN't afford a recePtIonist." ElviS' fIrsT thougHT Was what tHe hell did quicker than a flY On chickEn sOup meAn? HiS second thOugHt was wHetHEr or noT she waS puttInG hiM ON. ElviS, WHo AftEr All was a borDER ofFicer WhO daiLy witneSsed a mind numbing stEAdy Stream of faces ThaT werE AS oFteN As NOt oFtEN trYINg to deceive him, lOoked intenTlY At lavonda. Yep. hE deCiDed. This One was tRue.

"GoT It," Elvis Said. And meAnt it. "A queStIon." LAVOndA's beetling Brows lowEred into pRE-menaCInG mode, lavOnda anTiCipAting What
oney clan to avoid attorne ys at allcosts . H e n ev er d id l earn why, buth e ne vertheless got the mes sagelo u d an d  c lear.  Avoida tt o r ney s.  Y ethe r ehe wa s a ctually  liking on e.Go  figure.

"S o  w hat really  ha ppened?" Elv issaid w it h a grin. 

" She r efused to dri nk vodkaan d  the g o vernmen t ki cked  her out."

"Come on ,  Lavonda," Elv is ins is t ed . "Wh atreally hap pe ned?" 
"She t o ld h e r h a irdresser, aveteran oft heAfghan is tan war na med I va n  Sm iklets, tha t sh e thought  Russi a  wouldh ave bee n bett eroff  ifG er ma nywo n  WW I I.  Wi t hin  a day s he  w as be ingh u n t ed b y t he s ecret  police and h adto s n eak  outof Ru ssia  o n a F innish  tour  b us by telling t he F innish bo rde rgua rd  that she ha d s lip ped ona greas y  Mc Do n a l d' s Big Mac wrapper,  h i t  h er headand no w  h ad amnesia.  W hic h ha d the p ecul i ar  side ef fect o f  h er  forget ti ng how  t o s pea k Fin n ish.  The g uard did n't b e lieve her fora  minute, buts he p ro m ised  hi m a blow jo b la t er t hate ve nin g  andhe je rk e dh er bodily into thebo rder t own o f Peat Bog, F inland."
" L a vonda."Elvi s  s a id, trying har d not  to soundp eevish."Come  on. Wha t reallyh a ppened?" 

" She  wa s a m ai l order bride i n St .Petersb urg  who ad ver tis edher  a vailabili ty on asi ng le sint ernet site. An  h and so meand r i ch you ng Am eric an  g u y w ith a b i gh o usein  O ro V all ey  resp onde d  an d event ually off ere d  toma rr y her.But when shego t here she  f oun d outt h e guy wa s fat, bald, old and, w h at wasfar  wors e, b roke andliv ing in  ag overnm ent su bsidi ze d m i n iscul e ra tty  a partment n e a r d ownto wn  Tuc son. Sh e bugged out quick e r t han a fly onchi cken s ou p.I  h e lpe dh erg e t a new visa. S he couldn' tp ay  me, so sh e 'swo rking i t off a s myr eceptio nist. Whi ch is coo lforb o thof us, sin ce I can 't afford a rec e pt ionis t."  Elvis 'fir st th oughtw aswhatthe he ll  did q uicke rthan a f ly on chicken soup mean ? Hissecon d t hought wa s w h eth er or not  she  was putti nghim  on.Elv i s, wh o af t er  al l  wasa bo r der offic e rwho d ai ly witnesse d a  mi nd nu mbi n g stea dy s tream of faces th a t were as ofte n as n otoft e n tr yi ng to deceivehim ,l o oked int en tly at Lavo nda. Yep .H e dec ided.This o ne wast r ue . 

"Got  it, " E lvis said . A nd meant i t.  " A  quest ion. "Lavond a's be e tlin g brows lowered in to pr e - menac i ngmode,  L avondaa ntic ipating wh at
oney clan_to avoid_attorneys at all costs._He never_did_learn why,_but_he nevertheless got_the message loud_and clear. Avoid attorneys._Yet here he_was_actually liking one. Go figure.

"So what really happened?" Elvis said with a grin.

"She refused_to_drink vodka_and_the_government kicked her out."

"Come on,_Lavonda," Elvis insisted. "What really_happened?"

"She told_her hairdresser, a veteran of the Afghanistan war_named_Ivan Smiklets, that_she thought Russia would have been better off if_Germany won WWII. Within a day_she was being_hunted_by_the secret police and_had to sneak out of Russia_on a Finnish tour bus by_telling the Finnish border guard that she_had slipped on a greasy McDonald's_Big Mac wrapper, hit her_head and_now had amnesia. Which had_the peculiar side_effect of_her forgetting how_to speak Finnish. The guard didn't_believe her for_a minute, but she promised him_a_blow job later_that_evening_and he_jerked her bodily_into_the border_town_of Peat Bog, Finland."

"Lavonda." Elvis said,_trying_hard not to sound peevish. "Come on._What really happened?"

"She was_a_mail order bride in_St. Petersburg who advertised her_availability on a singles internet site._An handsome_and rich_young American guy with a big house in Oro Valley responded_and eventually offered to marry her._But when she got_here she_found_out the guy_was_fat, bald,_old and, what was far worse, broke_and living_in a government subsidized miniscule ratty_apartment near downtown Tucson._She_bugged out quicker than a fly_on chicken soup. I helped her_get a new visa. She_couldn't_pay_me, so she's working it_off as my receptionist. Which is_cool for both_of us, since I can't afford a_receptionist."_Elvis' first thought was what the_hell_did quicker than a fly on_chicken_soup_mean? His second thought was_whether or not she was putting_him on. Elvis, who after all was a border_officer who daily_witnessed a mind numbing steady_stream_of_faces that were as often as not often trying to_deceive him,_looked intently at_Lavonda. Yep. He decided. This one was true.

"Got it," Elvis_said. And meant it. "A question." Lavonda's_beetling brows lowered into pre-menacing mode, Lavonda anticipating what