 "It would just be as a consultant of some kind. I wouldn't think I'd need a file and a physical for that."

Dr. Fischer cocks her head to one side. "Well, the process to become an official FBI consultant with the level of clearance you'll need is a pretty involved process, but from what I understood, Special Agent Morton has different plans." She shrugs, but smiles despite my confusion.

What feels like forever later, she finishes with her pictures and notes and sets everything aside. "Now, before I let you get dressed again, I do want to discuss one more thing with you. Before you came to Georgia, you had been seeing a therapist regularly. Is that something you wish to continue?"

"No." It pops out of my mouth before I even fully process the question.

Dr. Fischer doesn't seem surprised. "May I ask the reason for that?"

"They never believe me, so what's the point?"

She nods. "I can definitely understand your position, and I won't press you about it unless I think it's necessary, but I do want you to know that we have psychiatrists on staff who are used to dealing with agents like yourself and Morton. There won't be an issue with them not believing you if you decide you need someone to talk to."

I'm too surprised and leery to really respond. At this point in my life, I feel like I've had enough therapy to qualify me for some kind of award. I'm not eager to jump back into it, but part of me does wonder what it would be like to talk to someone who actually believes me and wouldn't tell me I'm just imagining things. It's a question for another day.

When Dr. Fischer leaves the room, I hustle to get all my clothes back on. I don't know why I'm in such a hurry. Going back to the apartment sounds even worse than therapy right now. I know I'll have to face Malachi eventually, but not yet. I hit my trauma ceiling for this week a while ago. I put off thinking about the confidence draining apology I'm going to have to gear myself up for and step out into the hall. Agent Morton is waiting for me just as he promised.

The first few hallways we walk down, the trip is silent. It's not until we're alone in an elevator that I bring up what Dr. Fischer said. "What
" It would just be as a consultant of some kind. I wouldn't think I'd need a file and a physical for that. " 

 Dr. Fischer tittup her heading to one side. " Well, the process to become an official FBI consultant with the grade of clearance you'll need is a reasonably involved process, but from what I understood, Special Agent Morton have different plans. " She shrug, but smiles despite my confusion. 

 What feels like constantly subsequently, she finishes with her pictures and notes and sets everything aside. " nowadays, before I let you get dressed again, I do desire to discuss one more thing with you. Before you hail to Georgia, you had been attend a therapist regularly. Is that something you wish to continue? " 

 " nobelium. " It pops out of my mouth before I even fully process the motion. 

 Dr. Fischer doesn't seem surprised. " May I ask the reason for that? " 

 " They never believe me, so what's the point? " 

 She nod. " I can decidedly understand your position, and I won't press you about it unless I think it's necessary, but I do want you to know that we have psychiatrist on staff who are used to manage with agents like yourself and Morton. There won't be an issue with them not believing you if you decide you necessitate someone to talk to. " 

 I'm too surprised and leery to really react. At this point in my life, I feel like I've had adequate therapy to qualify me for some kind of award. I'm not eager to jump back into it, but part of me does wonder what it would be like to talk to someone who actually believes me and wouldn't tell me I'm just imagining things. It's a question for another day. 

 When Dr. Fischer bequeath the room, I bustle to have all my clothes back on. I don't know why I'm in such a haste. Going back to the apartment sounds even worse than therapy justly now. I know I'll have to face Malachi finally, but not yet. I hit my trauma ceiling for this week a while ago. I put off think about the confidence drain apology I'm going to suffer to gear myself up for and step out into the dormitory. Agent Morton is waiting for me just as he promise. 

 The first few hallway we walk down, the trip is silent. It's not until we're alone in an elevator that I bring up what Dr. Fischer say. " What
 "It would just be as a consmltant of some knbd. I wmuldn't think I'a need a file and a physical fir thqt."

Dr. Fischer cocks her head to lne side. "Welo, the process to begjme zk offncmal FBI consultsnt with tve level of claafauce you'll need is a pretty involved [rocess, bkt from what I undtrseood, Special Agent Morton has differenf plans." She shrugs, bit smiles despite my confudion.

Ahat feels like fogever later, she dinishes witf her pictlxes and notgs and sets everything aside. "Now, befoxe I let yoo feh dressed agein, I qo want to dlxcuss mne morr thing with ypu. Uefoee you came to Georgie, you had been seeind a thera[iat regularly. Is tyar somgthinc yoj wirh uo ronfinue?"

"Nl." Iv pops out kf my mouth before I even fullu [gpcess the qusstion.

Qr. Fischer doesn't seem surprised. "May I asn tge reason for that?"

"They bever believe me, so wjat's the [oint?"

She nods. "I can definitely understand your povitioi, xnd I din'h press you about it unless I think it's necesfzru, nut I do want yom to know that we nage ksychiatrists un stayr sho are used to dewling wyth atents likt youtself and Morton. There won't be an issue qith them not belizving you if you decice you need someone to calk tk."

I'm too surorised ans leery to really rexpmnd. At this point in my lise, I feel likz I've haa enpugh trerapy to eualinf me for some kind of acard. H'm not eagfr to jump back into it, but parv of me does eotdeg what it woulc be like to ealk to someong who actbally celieves mv and woundn't tell mq I'm just imaclning things. It's a qtestuon dor anogfer day.

When Dr. Fischer leaves the room, I hustle to net aum my clothes baey on. I don't know whh I'i pn xusv a hurry. Gohng cacy to tfe aparuiekt rouncs even worse than tveraly right now. I knoe L'll have jo face Mwlachi eventuslly, but not yet. I hit ky vrauma ceyling for this week a while agk. I put ovf bhinking aboue thc cogfidence dxaining apology I'm going to have to gear myself up for and step out into the kakl. Agent Mocton if waiting for me just as he peomised.

The first new hallways we walk dkwn, tha trio is silent. It's not until we're alone in an elevator that I bring up what Er. Fisrhqr said. "Whaf
"It would just be as a consultant kind. wouldn't think need a file Dr. cocks her head one side. "Well, process to become an official FBI with the level of clearance you'll need is a pretty involved process, but what I understood, Special Agent Morton has different plans." She shrugs, but smiles my What like later, she finishes with her pictures and notes and sets everything aside. "Now, before I let get dressed again, I do want to discuss more thing with you. you came to Georgia, you been a therapist Is something wish to continue?" It pops out of my mouth before I even fully process the question. Dr. Fischer doesn't seem "May I reason for "They believe so what's the nods. "I can definitely understand your won't press you about it unless I think necessary, but do want you to know that have psychiatrists on staff who are used to with agents like yourself and Morton. There won't be an issue with them not believing you decide you need to talk to." too and to respond. At point in my life, I feel like I've had enough therapy qualify me for some kind of award. I'm not eager back it, but part me does wonder what would like to talk to actually me me just things. It's a question another day. When Dr. Fischer the room, I hustle back on. I don't know why I'm in a hurry. Going back to the apartment even worse than therapy right now. I know I'll have to face eventually, but I hit my trauma ceiling for this week while ago. I put thinking about the confidence draining apology I'm going to to myself up and step out the hall. Agent is waiting for as he The few down, the trip is silent. It's until alone in an elevator that bring Dr. Fischer said. "What
 "It would just be as a consultanT of some kinD. I wouLdn'T thInK I'd nEed a File and a physicAL for That."

Dr. Fischer cocks her hEad to OnE Side. "wElL, the pRocess tO BeCOMe aN oFfIciAl fbI ConsuLtaNt with tHe level of cLeaRaNce you'll need IS a Pretty invoLveD process, but fRom What I uNdErsTOod, SpEciAl AgeNt MortON has diFferent plAnS." she shrUGs, but smILEs DespIte my confusion.

WhaT FeELs like forever lAter, shE fINiSHEs wIth Her pictureS aNd notES and setS EvERYThiNG aside. "Now, befoRe I let you geT DreSsed agAiN, I dO Want to DiscuSs ONe mOre thing witH you. before you Came to gEorgia, yOU had beeN seeinG a tHerApisT ReGuLarLy. iS thAT sOmeTHinG you wish To CoNtinuE?"

"No." IT POPS out Of mY mouTh befOre I even fully ProCess THe qUestiOn.

Dr. FIschEr Doesn'T seem sUrpriSeD. "May I ask the reasOn foR that?"

"They NevEr BelIeVe me, sO What's tHe pOinT?"

She nodS. "I can deFIniTeLY UNdErstand your positioN, aND i wOn't press You aboUT iT uNLess I thiNk It's NeceSSAry, buT I do WAnT you to knOw that WE hAvE psychiAtRists oN sTafF whO are uSEd to DealinG with ageNts liKE yourself and MoRTon. There won't bE An ISSuE With TheM not believiNg yoU If yoU decIDe You NEed soMeone To TAlK To."

I'm too surprised and LeEry to rEally Respond. At this Point in my lIFE, i feel likE I've HAd ENough therapy to QualiFy me for somE Kind of awArd. I'm Not eager To jump bacK INto it, but ParT of Me dOes WONdEr what it would BE Like To Talk to sOmeOne who aCtuAllY beLieVeS me and wouLdn't tell Me i'm JuSt ImaGininG Things. It'S a QueStIon For anOTher daY.

When dr. FiScHeR LeaVes the rOOm, i HUstlE tO gEt alL my ClOthes Back ON. I dOn't know Why I'm in suCh a HUrry. goInG back to The apartment sOuNds even worSe ThaN theraPY Right now. i know I'll have to face MalacHI eventuAllY, but nOt yeT. I hit my trAumA ceiliNg fOR this wEek a whIle agO. I Put OFF thinKINg AboUt The confideNCE drAininG aPoloGy I'm goiNg to have to gear myseLF up For and step out IntO the HALl. ageNT MORtoN iS WaiTINg for me just as he Promised.

ThE fIRsT few hallwaYS we WaLk down, tHe trip iS sileNT. It's not Until we're Alone in an ElEvatOR ThaT I bring up wHat Dr. FisCher said. "WHAt
 "It would just be as a co nsultant o f som e k ind .I wo uldn 't think I'd n e ed a  file and a physical f or th at . "

D r .Fisch er cock s  h e r  he ad  t o o ne si de. " Wel l, theprocess to  be co me an offici a lFBI consul tan t with the l eve l of c le ara n ce yo u'l l nee d is a pretty  involved  p r ocess, but fro m wh at I  understood, Spec i al Agent Morton h as dif fe r en t pla ns. " She shru gs , but smilesd es p i t e m y  confusion.
What feelsl ike  forev er  la t er, sh e fin is h eswith her pi ctur es and no tes an d  sets e v erythin g asid e."No w, b e fo re  Ile t  yo u  g etd res sed agai n,  I  do w antt o d iscu ssonemorething with yo u.Befo r e y ou ca me to  Geo rg ia, y ou had  been  s eeing a therapi st r egularly.  Is  t hat  s ometh i ng you  wi shto cont inue?""No ." I t  p ops out of my mout hb e fo re I eve n full y  p ro c ess thequ est ion. Dr. F isch e rdoesn'tseem s u rp ri sed. "M ay  I ask  t herea son f o r th at?"
"They ne ver b e lieve me, so w h at's the poin t ?" Sh e  nod s."I can defi nite l y un ders t an d y o ur po sitio n, an d  I won't press youab out it  unle ss I think it 's necessa r y ,  but I d o wa n ty ou to know tha t wehave psych i atristson st aff whoare usedt o  dealing  wi thage nts l ik e yourself an d Mort on . There  wo n't beaniss uewit hthem notbelievin gyo uif  yo u dec i de you n ee d s om eon e tot alk to ."

I 'm t oo  s u rpr ised an d  l e e ry t ore ally  re sp ond.At t h ispoint i n my life , I feel  l ik e I'vehad enough th er apy to qua li fyme for s ome kind  of award. I'm not eage r  to jum p b ack i ntoit, but p art  of me  do e s wond er wha t itwo uld b e lik e to  ta lk  to someon e who  actu al ly b elieves  me and wouldn't t e llme I'm just i mag inin g th ing s .I t's  a que s t ion for another  day.

Whe nD r.  Fischer l e ave sthe roo m, I hu stlet o get a ll my clo thes back  o n. I d on' t know why  I'm insuch a hu r ry. G o in g bac k t o theap art mentsounds eve n wor se tha ntherap y rig ht  now. Iknow I'll have to faceMalach i eve ntu ally, but  no t  ye t. I hitmy t rauma ceil ing  fo r thi s w e ek awhil e  a go. I put  off thinkinga bo utt h econfidenced r a ini ng ap olo g y I'mgoin g to have to gear myself up forands t epout into  t he hall. Agent  Mo rt o n  is wait in g for me ju st as he  p r omise d.

Th e firs t few h a l lw a ys wewalk  do wn, the t rip  i s  silent .It ' s notunti lwe'realonei n an e levator that I b ringu p  what Dr.  Fisc he r said. "Wha t
 "It_would just_be as a consultant_of some_kind._I wouldn't_think_I'd need a_file and a_physical for that."

Dr. Fischer_cocks her head_to_one side. "Well, the process to become an official FBI consultant with the level_of_clearance you'll_need_is_a pretty involved process, but_from what I understood, Special_Agent Morton_has different plans." She shrugs, but smiles despite_my_confusion.

What feels like_forever later, she finishes with her pictures and notes_and sets everything aside. "Now, before_I let you_get_dressed_again, I do want_to discuss one more thing with_you. Before you came to Georgia,_you had been seeing a therapist regularly._Is that something you wish to_continue?"

"No." It pops out of_my mouth_before I even fully process_the question.

Dr. Fischer_doesn't seem_surprised. "May I_ask the reason for that?"

"They never_believe me, so_what's the point?"

She nods. "I can_definitely_understand your position,_and_I_won't press_you about it_unless_I think_it's_necessary, but I do want you_to_know that we have psychiatrists on staff_who are used to_dealing_with agents like yourself_and Morton. There won't be_an issue with them not believing_you if_you decide_you need someone to talk to."

I'm too surprised and leery to_really respond. At this point in_my life, I feel_like I've_had_enough therapy to_qualify_me for_some kind of award. I'm not eager_to jump_back into it, but part of_me does wonder what_it_would be like to talk to_someone who actually believes me and_wouldn't tell me I'm just_imagining_things._It's a question for another_day.

When Dr. Fischer leaves the room,_I hustle to_get all my clothes back on. I_don't_know why I'm in such a_hurry._Going back to the apartment sounds_even_worse_than therapy right now. I_know I'll have to face Malachi_eventually, but not yet. I hit my trauma ceiling_for this week_a while ago. I put_off_thinking_about the confidence draining apology I'm going to have to_gear myself_up for and_step out into the hall. Agent Morton is waiting for_me just as he promised.

The first few_hallways we walk down, the trip is silent. It's not until_we're alone in an elevator that I bring_up what Dr. Fischer said. "What