rath of Mom upon him. He interrupted her.

"Mom. Please. Listen." Guadalupe held her tongue. But her eyes were like brown coals. Glowing brown coals. "That wasn't all. Alejandra and I....well....we were drunk.....and, Mom, we had sex." The glowing brown coals grew in enough intensity to set the lower slopes of the Sierra Madres on fire.

"You.....you....you....wha..." Alberto patted the air before his mother, as though that would calm her. He might as well have tried to wrestle a mountain gorilla or keep a campaigning politician quiet.

"Mom!" Alberto interjected. "Not only that. Alejandra got pregnant." Guadalupe's face took on the burnt orange glow of the lower slopes of the Sierra Madres she had set on fire. Alberto actually thought her head was going to explode and splatter him with chunks of Mom. He almost didn't complete his prank. Almost.

"So we got her an abortion."

A full fledged drama worthy of a popular Mexican cable TV soap opera immediately followed with the inevitability of Asteroid X heading dead center for the Caribbean basin in a Hollywood disaster epic. The first act being his mother promptly relocating to the emergency room at Our Sisters Of Armageddon Catholic Hospital, where the word abortion was banned from the lips of all staff members on pain of ex-communication and possibly something considerably worse up to and including the permanent removal of one's errant naughty bits. The end result of which was that Alberto got a painful lesson in a healthy sense of perspective and was thinking maybe he should cut Art Smudge some slack. He might not be such a bad guy after all. Look at him. Alberto. After the bruises and broken bones all healed and he came out of hiding and left his rebellious teenage years behind, he hadn't turned out so bad. Despite what his mother might say. He put the thought of booting Art Smudge out of the balloon to the edge of his mind. But still on the sidelines. Just in case.

Kind of like a back up quarterback.

A few minutes later they were all loaded up into Art's four wheel drive Land Rover. A strange lumpy guy named Fred, who looked like his nose had been a target of opportunity in more than a few barroom fights, showed
rath of Mom upon him. He interrupted her. 

 " Mom. Please. Listen. " Guadalupe held her clapper. But her eye were like brown coals. Glowing brown coals. " That wasn't all. Alejandra and I.... well.... we were intoxicated..... and, Mom, we had sex. " The glow brown ember grew in adequate volume to set the low slopes of the Sierra Madres on fire. 

 " You..... you.... you.... wha... " Alberto patted the air before his mother, as though that would calm her. He might as well have try on to wrestle a mountain gorilla or keep a campaigning politician placid. 

 " Mom! " Alberto interjected. " Not only that. Alejandra got meaning. " Guadalupe's face took on the burnt orange glow of the lower slope of the Sierra Madres she had set on fire. Alberto actually thought her head was going to explode and splatter him with chunks of Mom. He almost didn't complete his prank. Almost. 

 " So we got her an abortion. " 

 A full fledged play desirable of a popular Mexican cable TV soap opera immediately follow with the inevitability of Asteroid X heading dead center for the Caribbean river basin in a Hollywood disaster epic. The first act being his mother promptly relocating to the emergency room at Our Sisters Of Armageddon Catholic Hospital, where the bible abortion was banned from the lips of all staff members on pain of ex-wife - communication and possibly something considerably worse up to and including the permanent removal of one's errant naughty bits. The goal result of which was that Alberto contract a painful lesson in a healthy sense of perspective and was intend maybe he should cut Art Smudge some slack. He might not be such a regretful guy after wholly. Look at him. Alberto. After the bruises and broken bones all healed and he came out of concealment and left his rebellious teenage years behind, he hadn't turned out thus bad. Despite what his mother might order. He put the opinion of booting Art Smudge out of the balloon to the edge of his thinker. But still on the sideline. Just in lawsuit. 

 Kind of like a back up quarterback. 

 A few minutes later they were all loaded up into Art's four steering wheel drive Land Rover. A strange chunky guy named Fred, who looked like his nose had been a target of opportunity in more than a few barroom fights, showed
ratj of Mom upon him. He inttrrupted her.

"Mom. Please. Lmsten." Ghadalupe held her tongue. But her eyed qere oike brown coals. Glowivg brown boals. "Thar wawb't all. Aleozndra akb I....wemp....we cece drunk.....and, Mom, we had sef." The glowing truwu coals grew in enough intensity to fet the llwer slopes of the Fierda Madres on fire.

"You.....you....you....wha..." Albedto patued the air before his mother, as though that woupd calm her. He migjt as well yave rried to wrertle a mountain gorillz or keep a campaigning politickan qbiet.

"Mom!" Albgxro ltterjected. "Iot onjy that. Alejandra god pregnsnt." Guadalupe's fare tiok on the burnt oranje glow of the lower slopes ox che Sierra Madres she hqd sej on xire. Qlbdrtk ecthally hhonght her hezd was goint to explode and spkaenrr him with dhunks os Mom. He almost didn't complete his prann. Ammost.

"So we got her an avortion."

A full fledged drama wowthy of a popular Mexican cable TV soap opera immadiatxlh filjuqef with the inevitability of Asteroid X headind dtad center for thc Caribbean basin on a Rollywood disxster zlid. The first act belng his mothwr promptjy rrlocating to the emergency eoom at Our Fusters Of Armageddln Catholic Hoskital, ehere the word abortion was banned frol the lipa of all staff meobegs ot pain of ex-communication wnd possiuly spmethine comsiderwbly worse up to and including the permcnent removal ov one's errant naughty bits. The xid result of ehhch was thac Albevto got a painftl lesson in a healthv sensd of perspvctive anv was thinkigg maybe he svluld cut Art Smudge fome slaxk. He mkeht not be sucn a bad gly aftwr all. Look at him. Alcsrto. After the yxuuses and broken boves apl hqdled and he wame oug of hkding and lcft his rebellious teenage feara behind, he hadn't yuvned out wo bad. Dqspite what hos mother might saj. He 'ut thx thoubht of booting Art Smudge out of fhe balloln bo the edge os hiw mind. But scill on the sidelines. Just in case.

Kind oh like a back up quartgrback.

A few minutes lcttr they were ell lowded up itto Art's four wheel erive Land Rover. S strange lumpy guy nzmed Fsed, wjo looked like his nose had been a target of opportunity in more than a fww barcojm fights, sgowec
rath of Mom upon him. He interrupted Please. Guadalupe held tongue. But her Glowing coals. "That wasn't Alejandra and I....well....we drunk.....and, Mom, we had sex." The brown coals grew in enough intensity to set the lower slopes of the Madres on fire. "You.....you....you....wha..." Alberto patted the air before his mother, as though would her. might well have tried to wrestle a mountain gorilla or keep a campaigning politician quiet. "Mom!" Alberto "Not only that. Alejandra got pregnant." Guadalupe's face on the burnt orange of the lower slopes of Sierra she had on Alberto thought her head going to explode and splatter him with chunks of Mom. He almost didn't complete his prank. Almost. we got abortion." A fledged worthy a popular Mexican soap opera immediately followed with the X heading dead center for the Caribbean basin a Hollywood epic. The first act being his promptly relocating to the emergency room at Our Of Armageddon Catholic Hospital, where the word abortion was banned from the lips of all on pain of ex-communication possibly something considerably up and the removal of errant naughty bits. The end result of which was that Alberto a painful lesson in a healthy sense of perspective and maybe should cut Art some slack. He might be a bad guy after at Alberto. and bones healed and he came of hiding and left his teenage years behind, he Despite what his mother might say. He put thought of booting Art Smudge out of balloon to the edge of his mind. But still on the sidelines. in case. like a back up quarterback. A few minutes they were all loaded into Art's four wheel drive Land Rover. A strange guy Fred, who like his nose been a target opportunity in more few barroom showed
rath of Mom upon him. He interruPted her.

"Mom. pleasE. LiSteN." GUadaLupe Held her tongue. BUT her Eyes were like brown coals. glowiNg BRown COaLs. "ThaT wasn't aLL. ALEJanDrA aNd I....WeLL....wE were DruNk.....and, MoM, we had sex." THe gLoWing brown coaLS gRew in enougH inTensity to set The Lower sLoPes OF the SIerRa MadRes on fIRe.

"You.....yOu....you....wha..." ALbERto patTEd the aiR BEfOre hIs mother, as though tHAt WOuld calm her. He mIght as WeLL hAVE trIed To wrestle a MoUntaiN Gorilla OR kEEP A caMPaigning politIcian quiet.

"MOM!" AlBerto iNtErjECted. "NoT only ThAT. AlEjandra got pRegnAnt." GuadalUpe's faCE took on THe burnt Orange GloW of The lOWeR sLopEs OF thE siErrA madRes she haD sEt On firE. AlbERTO ActuAllY thoUght hEr head was goinG to ExplODe aNd splAtter Him wItH chunKs of MoM. He alMoSt didn't complete His pRank. AlmosT.

"So We Got HeR an abORtion."

A FulL flEdged drAma wortHY of A pOPULaR Mexican cable TV soaP oPERa ImmediatEly folLOwEd WIth the inEvItaBiliTY Of AstEroiD x hEading deAd centER fOr The CariBbEan basIn In a holLywooD DisaSter epIc. The firSt act BEing his mother pROmptly relocatINg TO ThE EmerGenCy room at Our sistERs Of armaGEdDon cAtholIc HosPiTAl, WHere the word abortion WaS banneD from The lips of all sTaff memberS ON Pain of ex-CommUNiCAtion and possibLy somEthing consIDerably wOrse uP to and inCluding thE PErmanent RemOvaL of One'S ERrAnt naughty bitS. tHe enD rEsult of WhiCh was thAt ALbeRto Got A pAinful lesSon in a heAlThY sEnSe oF persPEctive anD wAs tHiNkiNg mayBE he shoUld cuT Art smUdGE soMe slack. hE mIGHt noT bE sUch a Bad GuY afteR all. lOok At him. AlBerto. AfteR thE BruiSeS aNd brokeN bones all healEd And he came oUt Of hIding aND Left his rEbellious teenage years beHInd, he haDn't TurneD out So bad. DespIte What hiS moTHer migHt say. HE put tHe ThoUGHt of bOOTiNg ARt smudge out oF THe bAllooN tO the Edge of hIs mind. But still on thE SidElines. Just in cAse.

kind OF LiKe a BAcK Up qUaRTerBACk.

A few minutes laTer they werE aLL lOaded up intO art'S fOur wheeL drive LAnd RoVEr. A straNge lumpy gUy named FrEd, Who lOOKed Like his nosE had been A target of OPportUNiTy in mOre Than a fEw BarRoom fIghts, sHOweD
rath of Mom upon him. He i nterrupted  her. 

" Mom .Plea se.Listen." Guada l upeheld her tongue. But h er ey es were li ke br own coa l s. G low in gbro wn co als."Th at wasn 't all. Al eja nd ra and I.... w el l....we we redrunk.....an d,Mom, w ehad sex."  Th e glo wing b r own co als grewin enough intensi t y  t o se t the lower slope s  o f  the Sierra Ma dres o nf ir e . 

" You .....you.. .. you.. . .wha... "  A l b e rto patted the ai r before hi s  mo ther,as  th o ugh th at wo ul d  ca lm her. Hemigh t as well  havet ried to wrestle  a mou nta ingori l la  o r k ee p  ac am pai g nin g politi ci an  quie t.
" M o m !" A lbe rtointer jected. "Notonl y th a t.Aleja ndragotpr egnan t." Gu adalu pe 's face took on  the  burnt or ang eglo wof th e  lower  sl ope s of th e Sierr a  Ma dr e s sh e had set on fire.  A l b er to actua lly th o ug ht her head  w asgoin g to ex plod e  a nd splat ter hi m  w it h chunk sof Mom .Healm ost d i dn't  compl ete hisprank .  Almost.

"Sow e got her ana bo r t io n ."
A f ull fledged  dra m a wo rthy of  ap opula r Mex ic a nc able TV soap operaim mediat ely f ollowed withthe inevit a b i lity ofAste r oi d  X heading dea d cen ter for th e  Caribbe an ba sin in a  Hollywoo d disaster  ep ic.  Th e f i r st  act being hi s moth er  prompt lyrelocat ing  to  th e e me rgency ro om at Ou rSi st er s O f Arm a geddon C at hol ic  Ho spita l , wher e the  wor dab o rti on wasb an n e d fr om  t he l ips  o f all  sta f f m emberson pain o f e x -com mu ni cationand possiblyso mething co ns ide rablyw o rse up t o and including the per m anent r emo val o f on e's erran t n aughty  bi t s. The  end r esult  o f w h i ch wa s th atAl berto gota pai nfulle sson  in a h ealthy sense of pe r spe ctive and was  th inki n g  m ayb e  h e  sh ou l d c u t  Art Smudge som e slack. H em ig ht not bes uch  a  bad gu y after  all. Look at  him. Alb erto. Aft er  the b rui ses and br oken bon es all he a led a n dhe ca meout of  h idi ng an d left his  rebe llious  t eenage  year sbehind,he hadn't turned out so  bad.Despi tewhat hismot h ermight say . He  put the t hou ght  of b oot i ng Ar t Sm u dg e o u t oftheb alloon to th e e d g eof his mind . B utstill  on the si deli nes. Just in case . 

Kind of like  a b a c k u p q u arte rb ack.

A few mi nut es l ater the ywere all lo aded upin t o Art 's fou r whee l drive L an d  Rover . Astr ange lump y g uy named F re d, who lo oked  l ike hi s nose hadb e en a target of o pport u n ity i n  mo re th an  a fewb arro om fights,  showed
rath of_Mom upon_him. He interrupted her.

"Mom._Please. Listen."_Guadalupe_held her_tongue._But her eyes_were like brown_coals. Glowing brown coals._"That wasn't all._Alejandra_and I....well....we were drunk.....and, Mom, we had sex." The glowing brown coals grew in_enough_intensity to_set_the_lower slopes of the Sierra_Madres on fire.

"You.....you....you....wha..." Alberto patted_the air_before his mother, as though that would calm_her._He might as_well have tried to wrestle a mountain gorilla or_keep a campaigning politician quiet.

"Mom!" Alberto_interjected. "Not only_that._Alejandra_got pregnant." Guadalupe's face_took on the burnt orange glow_of the lower slopes of the_Sierra Madres she had set on fire._Alberto actually thought her head was_going to explode and splatter_him with_chunks of Mom. He almost_didn't complete his_prank. Almost.

"So_we got her_an abortion."

A full fledged drama worthy_of a popular_Mexican cable TV soap opera immediately_followed_with the inevitability_of_Asteroid_X heading_dead center for_the_Caribbean basin_in_a Hollywood disaster epic. The first_act_being his mother promptly relocating to the_emergency room at Our_Sisters_Of Armageddon Catholic Hospital,_where the word abortion was_banned from the lips of all_staff members_on pain_of ex-communication and possibly something considerably worse up to and including_the permanent removal of one's errant_naughty bits. The end_result of_which_was that Alberto_got_a painful_lesson in a healthy sense of perspective_and was_thinking maybe he should cut Art_Smudge some slack. He_might_not be such a bad guy_after all. Look at him. Alberto._After the bruises and broken_bones_all_healed and he came out_of hiding and left his rebellious_teenage years behind,_he hadn't turned out so bad. Despite_what_his mother might say. He put_the_thought of booting Art Smudge out_of_the_balloon to the edge of_his mind. But still on the_sidelines. Just in case.

Kind of like a back up_quarterback.

A few minutes_later they were all loaded_up_into_Art's four wheel drive Land Rover. A strange lumpy guy_named Fred,_who looked like_his nose had been a target of opportunity in more_than a few barroom fights, showed