 thoroughly confused homeless waterbird. Whose plaintive call wadawadawada Elvis maintained translated more or less from waterbird speak as what the fuck happened? What happened was that the channeled and damned and diverted and diminished Colorado was a mere fraction of the wide bodied, flood prone Colorado of pre-gringo days. The Gila River, a river that early travelers relied on to survive on their trek west, and which emptied into the Colorado just above Yuma, was reduced by the same processes to a bone dry sand pit in most of its length, doing in another entire ecosystem. Causing more than one modern day traveler a moment of consternation when they drove over a Gila River bridge that spanned nothing but a bunch of sand. The Gila River? Where they heck was it?

"Did you see that?" The passenger says.

"See what?" The driver, who also happened to be the husband of the lady passenger, replies. "You're always telling me to watch the road and not gawk when I'm supposed to be driving." After an indignant shrug the lady passenger who was his wife shoots back at him.

"That road sign back at the bridge," she answers. "It said the Gila River." She reaches over to jab her husband in the side. And not too gently. "I might not be the quickest study in the world," she begins, her husband struggling mightily with not blurting out "that's for goddamn sure!" and thereby opening the door to every means of retaliation his wife could dream up in her diabolically (his word) creative revenge scenarios. The first act of which would be a complete lack of sexual contact for a full fiscal year. Including holidays.

"There was no river there," she snaps. "I'm sure of it. No river." Another poke at her husband's ribs. This one even harder. "Why is there a bridge with no river." Her husband, despite himself, can't resist.

"Maybe they put it there just in case a river should show up." His wife, who some considered to be a half pint short of a mental gallon, thinks about that for a moment, not quite sure what he meant.

"I don't think that's it," she eventually replies. "I think it is some kind of government doonboggle. You know. Like those congressmen and senators always try to sneak
thoroughly confused homeless waterbird. Whose plaintive margin call wadawadawada Elvis maintain translated more or less from waterfowl speak as what the fuck happen? What happened was that the impart and damned and diverted and decrease Colorado was a mere fraction of the wide bodied, flood tide prone Colorado of pre - gringo days. The Gila River, a river that early travelers relied on to survive on their trek west, and which empty into the Colorado just above Yuma, was dilute by the same processes to a bone dry backbone pit in most of its length, doing in another integral ecosystem. Causing more than one modern day traveler a moment of consternation when they drive over a Gila River bridge that spanned nothing but a bunch of sand. The Gila River? Where they heck was it? 

 " Did you see that? " The passenger says. 

 " witness what? " The driver, who also happened to be the husband of the lady passenger, replies. " You're always tell me to watch the road and not gawk when I'm supposed to be driving. " After an indignant shrug the lady passenger who was his wife shoots back at him. 

 " That road sign back at the bridge, " she answers. " It said the Gila River. " She reaches over to stab her husband in the slope. And not too lightly. " I might not be the agile discipline in the world, " she begins, her husband struggling mightily with not blurting out " that's for goddamn sure! " and thereby opening the doorway to every means of retaliation his wife could dream up in her diabolically (his word) creative revenge scenarios. The first act of which would be a complete lack of sexual contact for a full fiscal year. Including holidays. 

 " There be no river there, " she photograph. " I'm sure of it. No river. " Another poke at her husband's ribs. This one even harder. " Why is there a bridge with no river. " Her husband, despite himself, can't resist. 

 " possibly they put it there just in case a river should show up. " His wife, who some considered to be a half pint short of a mental gallon, thinks about that for a moment, not quite certain what he meant. 

 " I don't intend that's it, " she eventually replies. " I remember it is some kind of government doonboggle. You acknowledge. Like those congressmen and senator always try to pilfer
 thlroughly confused homelers waterbird. Whose plamntive dall wadxwadawada Elvis maintained tcansoated more or less from watdrbird spvak as whqt tie fuck happened? What hai'ened aas chet the channelec and damnad and diverteg xnb diminished Colorado was a mere frastion og hhe wide bodieq, flpjd pdone Colorado of pre-gringo days. Ths Gila Giver, a river thay early travelers relied oj to survive on their hrek west, abd wruch emptied knto the Colorado just above Yuma, was reduced by the rame 'rocesses ti q blte dry sand pit pn most of its length, doing on another entlre erosywtem. Causing more thai one modern day tradeler a mmmznt of consternation qhwn thgy drmve ucer a Fika River brmdge that slanned nothung but a bunch of xage. The Gila Riber? Whqrq they heck was it?

"Did you see that?" The kassehger says.

"See what?" The deiver, who also happengd to be tre husband of the lady passenger, replies. "You're alfays veuliun ow ho watch the road and not gawk when I'm supposqs uo ne driving." After an indignamt sntug the lady pxssengzd sho was his wife sjoots bwck ar him.

"That roac sign back at the bridge," sye answers. "In saud the Gila River." Dhe reaches ovet to jsb her husband in the snde. Ans not too gfntly. "I mjeht not be the qjiclevt study in the world," she fegins, hec husyand strjgglong midhtily witj not blurting out "that's for yoddakn sure!" anf thereby opening the door to etxry means of tetdlidtion hif wifc could dream u[ in her diabokically (his dord) creatpve revenje scenarios. The first acd of which wonld be a sompoete lack ow sexual contacy for a fllj fiwcal year. Includinn holksays.

"There was ni ruver there," she xnaos. "Y'm snre os it. No river." Anoghef poke at her husnana's robs. This one even hasder. "Why is there a brodne with ni river." Rer husband, drspite himself, can'u resivt.

"Meybe tney put it there just in case a rjver shoupd fhow up." His rife, who some cousidered to be a half pint short of a meital gallon, thinks aboot that for a moment, uou quite sure xhat hq meant.

"I gon't think that's it," whe eventually reklies. "I think it is soms kind of glvernment doonboggle. You know. Like those congressmen and senators always rry to sneak
thoroughly confused homeless waterbird. Whose plaintive call maintained more or from waterbird speak What was that the and damned and and diminished Colorado was a mere of the wide bodied, flood prone Colorado of pre-gringo days. The Gila River, river that early travelers relied on to survive on their trek west, and emptied the just Yuma, was reduced by the same processes to a bone dry sand pit in most of length, doing in another entire ecosystem. Causing more one modern day traveler moment of consternation when they over Gila River that nothing a bunch of The Gila River? Where they heck was it? "Did you see that?" The passenger says. "See what?" driver, who to be husband the passenger, replies. "You're me to watch the road and I'm supposed to be driving." After an indignant the lady who was his wife shoots back him. "That road sign back at the bridge," answers. "It said the Gila River." She reaches over to jab her husband in the not too gently. "I not be the study the she her husband mightily with not blurting out "that's for goddamn sure!" and thereby the door to every means of retaliation his wife could in diabolically (his word) revenge scenarios. The first of would be a complete sexual for year. holidays. was no river there," snaps. "I'm sure of it. river." Another poke at even harder. "Why is there a bridge with river." Her husband, despite himself, can't resist. they put it there just in case a river should show up." wife, who to be a half pint short of a gallon, thinks about that a moment, not quite sure what he meant. "I think it," she replies. "I think is some kind government doonboggle. You those congressmen senators try
 thoroughly confused homelesS waterbird. whose PlaIntIvE calL wadAwadawada Elvis MAintAined translated more or lEss frOm WAterBIrD speaK as what THe FUCk hApPeNed? whAT hAppenEd wAs that tHe channeleD anD dAmned and diveRTeD and diminiSheD Colorado was A meRe fracTiOn oF The wiDe bOdied, Flood pROne ColOrado of prE-gRIngo daYS. The GilA rIvEr, a rIver that early travELeRS relied on to surVive on ThEIr TREk wEst, And which emPtIed inTO the ColORaDO JUst ABove Yuma, was reDuced by the sAMe pRocessEs To a BOne dry Sand pIt IN moSt of its lengTh, doIng in anotHer entIRe ecosySTem. CausIng morE thAn oNe moDErN dAy tRaVEleR A mOmeNT of ConsternAtIoN when They DROVE oveR a GIla RIver bRidge that spanNed NothINg bUt a buNch of Sand. thE Gila river? WHere tHeY heck was it?

"Did yoU see That?" The paSseNgEr sAyS.

"See wHAt?" The dRivEr, wHo also hAppened TO be ThE HUSbAnd of the lady passenGeR, REpLies. "You'rE alwayS TeLlINg me to waTcH thE roaD ANd not Gawk WHeN I'm suppoSed to bE DrIvIng." AfteR aN indigNaNt sHruG the lADy paSsengeR who was hIs wifE Shoots back at hiM.

"that road sign bACk AT ThE BridGe," sHe answers. "It Said THe GiLa RiVEr." she REacheS over To JAb HEr husband in the side. ANd Not too GentlY. "I might not be tHe quickest STUDy in the wOrld," SHe BEgins, her husbanD struGgling mighTIly with nOt bluRting out "That's for gODDamn sure!" And TheRebY opENInG the door to eveRY MeanS oF retaliAtiOn his wiFe cOulD drEam Up In her diabOlically (HiS wOrD) cReaTive rEVenge sceNaRioS. THe fIrst aCT of whiCh wouLd be A cOmPLetE lack of SExUAL conTaCt For a FulL fIscal Year. iNclUding hoLidays.

"TheRe wAS no rIvEr There," shE snaps. "I'm sure oF iT. No river." AnOtHer Poke at HER husband'S ribs. This one even harder. "WHY is therE a bRidge With No river." HeR huSband, dEspITe himsElf, can'T resiSt.

"mayBE They pUT It TheRe Just in case A RIveR shouLd Show Up." His wiFe, who some considereD To bE a half pint shoRt oF a meNTAl GalLOn, THinKs ABouT THat for a moment, noT quite sure WhAT hE meant.

"I don'T ThiNk That's it," She evenTuallY Replies. "i think it iS some kind Of GoveRNMenT doonbogglE. You know. like those COngreSSmEn and SenAtors aLwAys Try to Sneak
 thoroughly confused homel ess waterb ird.Who sepl aint ivecall wadawadaw a da E lvis maintained transl atedmo r e or le ss fr om wate r bi r d  sp ea kaswh a tthe f uck  happen ed? What h app en ed was thatt he  channeled  an d damned and  di verted  a ndd imini she d Col oradow as a m ere fract io n  of th e  wide b o d ie d, f lood prone Colora d oo f pre-gringo d ays. T he Gi l a  Ri ver , a riverth at ea r ly trav e le r s rel i ed on to surv ive on thei r  tr ek wes t,  an d  which  empt ie d  in to the Colo rado  just abo ve Yum a , was r e duced b y thesam e p roce s se stoab one dr y s a ndpit in m os tof it s le n g t h , do ing  inanoth er entire eco sys tem. Cau singmorethan  o ne mo dern d ay tr av eler a moment o f co nsternati onwh enth ey dr o ve ove r a  Gi la Rive r bridg e  th at s p an ned nothing but abu n c hof sand.  The G i la  R i ver? Whe re  th ey h e c k was  it? 
" Did yousee th a t? "The pas se nger s ay s.
"S ee wh a t?"The dr iver, wh o als o  happened to b e  the husbando ft h el adypas senger, rep lies .  "Yo u're al way s  tell ing m et ow atch the road and n ot  gawkwhenI'm supposedto be driv i n g ." After  ani nd i gnant shrug th e lad y passenge r  who was  hiswife sho ots backa t  him.

" Tha t r oad  si g n  b ack at the br i d ge,"  s he answ ers . "It s aid  th e G ila  R iver." Sh e reache sov er  t o j ab he r  husband  i n t he  si de. A n d nottoo g entl y.  " I  mi ght not be t he q ui ck eststu dy  in t he w o rld ," shebegins, h erh usba nd  s truggli ng mightily w it h not blur ti ngout "t h a t's forgoddamn sure!" and ther e by open ing  thedoor  to every  me ans of  re t aliati on his  wife  c oul d dream u pinhe r diabolic a l ly(hiswo rd)creativ e revenge scenario s . T he first actofwhic h wo uld be a c om p let e lack of sexualcontact fo ra  f ull fiscal yea r.  Includ ing hol idays . 

"Ther e was noriver the re ," s h e  sn aps. "I'msure ofit. No ri v er."A no therpok e at h er  hu sband 's rib s . T his o ne eve nharder . "Wh yis there  a bridge with no river ." Her  husb and , despite  hi m sel f, can'tresi st.

"Mayb e t hey  putitt herejust in  ca s e a r iver should sh o wup. " Hi s wife, who s o meconsi der e d to b e ahalf pint short o f  a mental gall on,t h ink s a b outth at for a momen t,no t quite su re  what he me ant.

"I  d o n't t hink t hat'sit," sh e ev e ntuall y re pli es. "I th ink  i t  is som eki n d of g over nm ent do onbogg l e. Y o u  know. Like thos e con g r essme n  an d sen at ors alw a ys t ry to snea k
 thoroughly_confused homeless_waterbird. Whose plaintive call_wadawadawada Elvis_maintained_translated more_or_less from waterbird_speak as what_the fuck happened? What_happened was that_the_channeled and damned and diverted and diminished Colorado was a mere fraction of the_wide_bodied, flood_prone_Colorado_of pre-gringo days. The Gila_River, a river that early_travelers relied_on to survive on their trek west, and_which_emptied into the_Colorado just above Yuma, was reduced by the same_processes to a bone dry sand_pit in most_of_its_length, doing in another_entire ecosystem. Causing more than one_modern day traveler a moment of_consternation when they drove over a Gila_River bridge that spanned nothing but_a bunch of sand. The_Gila River?_Where they heck was it?

"Did_you see that?"_The passenger_says.

"See what?" The_driver, who also happened to be_the husband of_the lady passenger, replies. "You're always_telling_me to watch_the_road_and not_gawk when I'm_supposed_to be_driving."_After an indignant shrug the lady_passenger_who was his wife shoots back at_him.

"That road sign back_at_the bridge," she answers._"It said the Gila River."_She reaches over to jab her_husband in_the side._And not too gently. "I might not be the quickest study_in the world," she begins, her_husband struggling mightily with_not blurting_out_"that's for goddamn_sure!"_and thereby_opening the door to every means of_retaliation his_wife could dream up in her_diabolically (his word) creative_revenge_scenarios. The first act of which_would be a complete lack of_sexual contact for a full_fiscal_year._Including holidays.

"There was no river_there," she snaps. "I'm sure of_it. No river."_Another poke at her husband's ribs. This_one_even harder. "Why is there a_bridge_with no river." Her husband, despite_himself,_can't_resist.

"Maybe they put it there_just in case a river should_show up." His wife, who some considered to be_a half pint_short of a mental gallon,_thinks_about_that for a moment, not quite sure what he meant.

"I_don't think_that's it," she_eventually replies. "I think it is some kind of government_doonboggle. You know. Like those congressmen and_senators always try to sneak