 and the marijuana packages inside. "Godamnit," Milo said. "Those goddamn frickin' gringo jerks! Fico is going to be really pissed!"

And he was, after Milo used his mobile to text the code--FG for fucking gringos--for busted. But he also had to admit that there were at least a few gringos whose IQs were somewhat above the total blockhead level. Maybe some day, Fico was thinking, after they'd both retired, he could meet this red-headed gringo for a pitcher of draft beer and they could compare notes and reminiscenes about the good old days. But, until then, Fico was also thinking, prudence would continue to guide him.

Which meant he would damn well not be sending any more load cars through the border when that pinche gringo beanpole and his ET buddies were anywhere nearby.

### Chapter 8

Elvis Takes A History Class

In his spare time Elvis took various college courses in Tucson. Some at Pima College, others at the University of Arizona extension division and one or two at the Tucson Parapsychology Bible Institute. One of his Pima College assignments was to research a historical event and then write a short historical essay on the subject, the teacher instructing the class to "....humanize history." How do we do that? The class asked the teacher. The reply. " Use your imagination."

Which Elvis did.

The Discovery of America

(Part Of It, Anyhow)

by

Elvis Mahoney

The discovery of America. The true European discover of any part of what is now America was a Saxon German, Ludwig the Slow, who came by sail with three ships from a tiny hamlet called Er, which was a suburb of the Port of Hamburg. Both Er and Hamburg widely recognized at that time throughout the region as having the best beef sandwiches in all the Baltic and a good chunk of the North Atlantic.

One day local sword maker and part time mortician Wolf Dung came running into the great mead hall near the North Sea shore in ancient Saxony. "Hey!" Wolf Dung said in great excitement to his kinsman and tribal chief, Ludwig the Slow. "They're loading up the long ships to sail over the sea to Britannia. The Romans got tired of the lousy weather and bugged out. The
and the marijuana packages inside. " Godamnit, " Milo said. " Those goddamn frickin' gringo jerks! Fico is go to be in truth pissed! " 

 And he was, after Milo used his mobile to text the code -- FG for fucking gringo -- for busted. But he also had to accept that there were at least a few gringos whose intelligence quotient were slightly above the total dunce level. Maybe some day, Fico was thinking, after they'd both retire, he could meet this red - headed gringo for a pitcher of draft beer and they could compare notes and reminiscenes about the good erstwhile days. But, until then, Fico was also thinking, discretion would continue to guide him. 

 Which mean he would damn well not be send any more load cars through the border when that pinche gringo beanpole and his ET buddies were anywhere nearby. 

 # # # Chapter 8 

 Elvis Takes A History Class 

 In his plain time Elvis took various college courses in Tucson. Some at Pima College, others at the University of Arizona extension division and one or two at the Tucson Parapsychology Bible Institute. One of his Pima College assignments was to research a historical event and then write a short historical essay on the subject, the teacher instructing the class to ".... humanize history. " How do we do that? The class ask the teacher. The reply. " Use your resource. " 

 Which Elvis do. 

 The Discovery of America 

 (character Of It, Anyhow) 

 by 

 Elvis Mahoney 

 The discovery of America. The true European discover of any part of what is now America was a Saxon German, Ludwig the Slow, who came by sail with three ships from a tiny village called Er, which was a suburb of the Port of Hamburg. Both Er and Hamburg widely recognized at that time throughout the region as having the best beef sandwiches in all the Baltic and a good chunk of the North Atlantic. 

 One day local sword godhead and part clock time mortician Wolf Dung came running into the great mead hall near the North Sea shore in ancient Saxony. " Hey! " Wolf Dung said in great agitation to his kinsman and tribal chief, Ludwig the Slow. " They're loading up the long ship to sail over the ocean to Britannia. The Romans got tired of the lousy weather and bugged out. The
 anf the marijuana packages inside. "Godamnij," Nilo seid. "Thoae goddaon frickin' gringo jerks! Fico iw goibg to be really pissed!"

Xnd he wad, after Nilo ysed his mobile to text fme cobe--HG for fucking nringos--for tusted. But he dlro had to admit that there were at lewst a frw gringos whose IQs rere somewhat above the total blockheas level. Maybe some dsy, Fico was thinking, after thej'd both retired, he could meet thif red-headed gfingo for a pitcher of draft beer and they could compxre nptes and rgmjnlvcenes abouv the dood old days. But, undil them, Fico was alsp tiinkung, prudence would coitinue to guide him.

Wrich meand ke would damn well nor ve setdinc anh mofe moed dars tjrongh the borser when thqt pinche gringo besn[ile and his EF buddyef were anywhere nearby.

### Chapter 8

Elvis Tanes A History Class

In his wpare time Elvis took various sollege courses in Tucson. Some at Pima College, otvers et tht Mkivefwihy of Arizona extension division and one or trk st the Tucson Pavapsychology Bible Ijsyytute. One of fis Pima Dollege assignmentd was tj reswarch a hystotical event and then write q short histjeical essay on the subject, thz teacner imstructing the class to "....humznize histogy." How do de do that? The cuasx dsked tht teacher. The replr. " Use yonr imcginatiov."

Whivh Elvys did.

The Fiscoyary of America

(Part Of Ij, Anyhmw)

by

Elvis Lahoney

The discovery of America. The true Eurokeat dpscover oy any iart of what is now America wcs a Saxjn Gefman, Ludwif the Snow, who camq by sail witv three ships from a einy hamoet caludd Er, which wax a subury of rhe Port of Hamburn. Botf Er and Hamburg wieely recognized at thwt tmme trsoughout the regkon ss haxing tht bcst beeg sandwiches in all dhe Galtic and a good vhmnk of thg North Aelantic.

One dau local sword makeg and pact timr mjrtician Wolf Dung came runninf into thf gveat mead halj neqr the North Sea shore in ancient Saxony. "Hey!" Wolf Dnng said in great excijement to his kinsman snd tribal rhief, Judwig tha Slow. "They're loadint up the long shiks to sail over the sea to Brhtannla. The Romans got tired of the lousy weather and bugged out. The
and the marijuana packages inside. "Godamnit," Milo goddamn gringo jerks! is going to was, Milo used his to text the for fucking gringos--for busted. But he had to admit that there were at least a few gringos whose IQs somewhat above the total blockhead level. Maybe some day, Fico was thinking, after both he meet red-headed gringo for a pitcher of draft beer and they could compare notes and reminiscenes about good old days. But, until then, Fico was thinking, prudence would continue guide him. Which meant he damn not be any load through the border that pinche gringo beanpole and his ET buddies were anywhere nearby. ### Chapter 8 Elvis Takes A Class In time Elvis various courses Tucson. Some at others at the University of Arizona one or two at the Tucson Parapsychology Bible One of Pima College assignments was to research historical event and then write a short historical on the subject, the teacher instructing the class to "....humanize history." How do we do class asked the teacher. reply. " Use imagination." Elvis The of America Of It, Anyhow) by Elvis Mahoney The discovery of America. The European discover of any part of what is now America Saxon Ludwig the Slow, came by sail with ships a tiny hamlet called was suburb of Both and Hamburg widely recognized that time throughout the region having the best beef and a good chunk of the North Atlantic. day local sword maker and part time Wolf Dung came running into the great mead hall near the North shore in "Hey!" Wolf Dung said in great excitement to kinsman and tribal chief, the Slow. "They're loading up the long ships to over sea to The Romans got of the lousy and bugged out.
 and the marijuana packages inSide. "GodamnIt," MilO saId. "THoSe goDdamN frickin' gringo JErks! fico is going to be really pIssed!"

anD He waS, AfTer MiLo used hIS mOBIle To TeXt tHe COdE--FG foR fuCking grIngos--for buSteD. BUt he also had tO AdMit that theRe wEre at least a fEw gRingos WhOse iqs werE soMewhaT above THe totaL blockheaD lEVel. MayBE some daY, fIcO was Thinking, after they'D BoTH retired, he coulD meet tHiS ReD-HEadEd gRingo for a pItCher oF Draft beER aND THey COuld compare noTes and reminISceNes aboUt The GOod old Days. BUt, UNtiL then, Fico waS alsO thinking, PrudenCE would cONtinue tO guide Him.

whiCh meANt He WouLd DAmn WElL noT Be sEnding anY mOrE load Cars THROUgh tHe bOrdeR when That pinche griNgo BeanPOle And hiS ET buDdieS wEre anYwhere NearbY.

### CHapter 8

Elvis TakeS A HiStory ClasS

In HiS spArE time eLvis toOk vAriOus collEge courSEs iN TUCSOn. some at Pima College, oThERS aT the UnivErsity OF ARiZOna extenSiOn dIvisION and oNe or TWo At the TucSon ParAPsYcHology BIbLe InstItUte. one Of his pIma COllege AssignmeNts waS To research a hisTOrical event anD ThEN WrITe a sHorT historical EssaY On thE subJEcT, thE TeachEr insTrUCtINg the class to "....humanizE hIstory." how do We do that? The clAss asked thE TEAcher. The ReplY. " usE Your imaginatioN."

WhicH Elvis did.

THE DiscoveRy of AMerica

(PaRt Of It, AnyHOW)

by

Elvis mahOneY

ThE diSCOvEry of America. THE True euRopean dIscOver of aNy pArt Of wHat Is Now AmericA was a SaxOn geRmAn, ludWig thE slow, who cAmE by SaIl wIth thREe shipS from A tinY hAmLEt cAlled Er, WHiCH Was a SuBuRb of The poRt of HAmbuRG. BoTh Er and hamburg wiDelY RecoGnIzEd at thaT time throughoUt The region aS hAviNg the bEST beef sanDwiches in all the Baltic anD A good chUnk Of the nortH Atlantic.

one Day locAl sWOrd makEr and pArt tiMe MorTICian WOLF DUng CaMe running iNTO thE greaT mEad hAll near The North Sea shore in ANciEnt Saxony. "Hey!" WOlf dung SAId In gREaT ExcItEMenT TO his kinsman and tRibal chief, luDWiG the Slow. "ThEY're LoAding up The long Ships TO sail ovEr the sea tO BritanniA. THe RoMANs gOt tired of tHe lousy wEather and BUgged OUt. the
 and the marijuana package s inside."Goda mni t,"  M ilosaid . "Those godda m n fr ickin' gringo jerks! F ico i sg oing to  be r eally p i ss e d !"
A nd  he  w a s,  afte r M ilo use d his mobi leto  text the co d e- -FG for fu cki ng gringos-- for  buste d.  Bu t  he a lso  hadto adm i t that  there we re at lea s t a few g ri ngos  whose IQs were s o me w hat above thetotalbl o ck h e adlev el. Maybeso me da y , Ficow as t h ink i ng, after the y'd both re t ire d, heco uld meet t his r ed - hea ded gringofora pitcher  of dr a ft beer and the y coul d c omp aren ot es  an dr emi n is cen e s a bout the  g oo d old  day s . B ut,unt il t hen,Fico was also  th inki n g,prude nce w ould  c ontin ue toguide  h im.

Which mean t he  would da mnwe llno t bes ending  an y m ore loa d carst hro ug h t he  border when thatpi n c he  gringobeanpo l ean d  his ETbu ddi es w e r e any wher e  n earby.
### Ch a pt er  8

Elv is  Takes  A  Hi sto ry Cl a ss
In his  spare t ime E l vis took vario u s college cou r se s in Tucs on.  Some at Pi ma C o lleg e, o t he rsa t the  Univ er s it y  of Arizona extensi on  divis ion a nd one or two  at the Tu c s o n Paraps ycho l og y  Bible Institu te. O ne of hisP ima Coll ege a ssignmen ts was to r esearcha h ist ori cal e ve nt and then w r i te a  s hort hi sto rical e ssa y o n t hesu bject, th e teache rin st ru cti ng th e  class t o".. .. hum anize histor y." H ow d owe dothat? T h ec l assas ke d th e t ea cher.  The rep ly. " U se your i mag i nati on ." 

Which  Elvis did.
Th e Discover yofAmeric a 
(Part O f It, Anyhow)

by

Elvi s  Mahone y
The d isco very of A mer ica. T het rue Eu ropean  disc ov ero f  anyp a rt  of  w hat is now A mer ica w as  a S axon Ge rman, Ludwig the S l ow,  who came bysai l wi t h  t hre e  s h ips  f r oma tiny hamlet cal led Er, wh ic h  w as a subur b  of  t he Port  of Ham burg. Both Er  and Hamb urg widel yreco g n ize d at thattime thr oughout t h e reg i on  as h avi ng the  b est  beef  sandw i che s inall th eBaltic  andagood chu nk of the North Atlanti c.

On e day  lo cal sword  ma k erand parttime  mortician  Wo lfDungcam e  runn ingi nt o t h e gre at m e ad hall n e ar  th e No rth Sea sho r e inancie ntS axony.  "He y!" Wolf Dung sai d  in great exci teme n t  to  hi s  kin sm an and tribalchi ef , Ludwig t he  Slow. "The y're loa di n g upthe lo ng shi ps to s a i lo ver th e se a t o Britann ia.  T h e Roman sgo t  tired  ofth e lous y weat h er a n d  bugged out. The 
 and_the marijuana_packages inside. "Godamnit," Milo_said. "Those_goddamn_frickin' gringo_jerks!_Fico is going_to be really_pissed!"

And he was, after_Milo used his_mobile_to text the code--FG for fucking gringos--for busted. But he also had to admit_that_there were_at_least_a few gringos whose IQs_were somewhat above the total_blockhead level._Maybe some day, Fico was thinking, after they'd_both_retired, he could_meet this red-headed gringo for a pitcher of draft_beer and they could compare notes_and reminiscenes about_the_good_old days. But, until_then, Fico was also thinking, prudence_would continue to guide him.

Which meant_he would damn well not be sending_any more load cars through the_border when that pinche gringo_beanpole and_his ET buddies were anywhere_nearby.

### Chapter 8

Elvis_Takes A_History Class

In his_spare time Elvis took various college_courses in Tucson._Some at Pima College, others at_the_University of Arizona_extension_division_and one_or two at_the_Tucson Parapsychology_Bible_Institute. One of his Pima College_assignments_was to research a historical event and_then write a short_historical_essay on the subject,_the teacher instructing the class_to "....humanize history." How do we_do that?_The class_asked the teacher. The reply. " Use your imagination."

Which Elvis did.

The_Discovery of America

(Part Of It, Anyhow)

by

Elvis_Mahoney

The discovery of America._The true_European_discover of any_part_of what_is now America was a Saxon German,_Ludwig the_Slow, who came by sail with_three ships from a_tiny_hamlet called Er, which was a_suburb of the Port of Hamburg._Both Er and Hamburg widely_recognized_at_that time throughout the region_as having the best beef sandwiches_in all the_Baltic and a good chunk of the_North_Atlantic.

One day local sword maker and_part_time mortician Wolf Dung came running_into_the_great mead hall near the_North Sea shore in ancient Saxony._"Hey!" Wolf Dung said in great excitement to his_kinsman and tribal_chief, Ludwig the Slow. "They're_loading_up_the long ships to sail over the sea to Britannia._The Romans_got tired of_the lousy weather and bugged out. The