 of his list, followed closely by Little Rock, Arkansas. Fred had never been to Little Rock but always wondered if there actually was a Little Rock there. And, by implication, also a Big Rock. Fred had always had a sort of intellectual curiosity about things. Which, in the form of being too curious about other people's identities, is what got him in hot water with the law. When he used a stolen credit card number to buy a riding lawn mower, which he immediately resold online, he made the mistake of using the credit card of an elderly gentleman who was confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home and in no obvious immediate need of a riding lawn mower. And then some smart ass kid who gave up the hacker world to become a police computer forensics hot shot tracked him down. Goddamn kid. Why didn't he stick with snacking and hacking like all the other lazeabouts of his generation? Where the hell was the lack of a work ethic when you really needed it? Damn! Bad luck, Fred. Frickin' bad luck. Besides which, with jerkoff kids like this one being the next generation, America was for sure headed straight down the tubes. Gen X? Gen Y? Generation Z? Millenials? Bullshit. This was Gen Zero. And their kids would be Gen Absolute Zero. Fred was glad his own deeply patriotic dad, Fred Senior, who, unlike his son, had a more or less--if somewhat aquiline--normal nose, hadn't lived to see America in decline. But Smashnose did wish his father had waited a few more years to kick the mortal bucket. He missed the old guy. Though Fred Senior dropping acid and forthwith convincing himself he was Super Fred, a superhero from the comic book Avengers, was a real dumb ass move, dad or no dad. The commuter train to San Diego was not in reality the nuclear armed destructive instrument of the International Doctor Evil Conspiracy. And it sure didn't slow down when Fred Senior jumped in front of the hurtling train to stop it, comic super hero wise.

On the upside, they didn't need a coffin for the funeral. Just a small shoe box did the trick.

Bobby Joe's See Food Eats was on a winding hilly back road overlooking Santa Maria's harbor. Not right on the harbor where the trendy tourist restaurants barely held sway under the burden of the huge rents they paid to absentee landlords in Hong Kong and Winnipeg,
of his list, followed closely by Little Rock, Arkansas. Fred had never been to Little Rock but always wonder if there actually was a Little Rock there. And, by deduction, also a Big Rock. Fred had always had a kind of intellectual curiosity about things. Which, in the phase of being too curious about other citizenry's identities, is what got him in blistering water with the law. When he used a stolen credit rating card number to buy a riding lawn mower, which he immediately resold online, he make the mistake of using the credit menu of an elderly gentleman who was confined to a wheelchair in a nursing home and in no obvious contiguous need of a ride lawn mower. And then some smart ass child who gave up the hacker world to become a police computer forensics hot shot tracked him down. Goddamn kid. Why didn't he stick with snacking and hacking like all the other lazeabouts of his generation? Where the hell was the lack of a work ethic when you really needed it? Damn! regretful fortune, Fred. Frickin' bad luck. Besides which, with jerkoff kids like this one being the future generation, America was for sure headed directly down the tubes. Gen X? Gen Y? Generation Z? Millenials? Bullshit. This was Gen Zero. And their kids would be Gen Absolute Zero. Fred was glad his own profoundly patriotic dad, Fred Senior, who, unlike his son, had a more or less -- if somewhat aquiline -- normal nose, hadn't lived to see America in decline. But Smashnose did wish his father had waited a few more years to kick the mortal bucket. He missed the previous guy. Though Fred Senior dropping acid and forthwith convert himself he was Super Fred, a superhero from the amusing record Avengers, was a real dumb ass move, dad or no dad. The commuter train to San Diego was not in reality the nuclear armed destructive instrument of the International Doctor Evil Conspiracy. And it surely didn't slow down when Fred Senior startle in front of the hurtling caravan to stop it, comic ace hero wise. 

 On the upside, they didn't need a coffin for the funeral. merely a small brake shoe box did the trick. 

 Bobby Joe's See Food Eats was on a winding hilly back road overlooking Santa Maria's seaport. Not right on the harbor where the trendy tourist restaurants scantily held sway under the burden of the huge rents they pay to absentee landlord in Hong Kong and Winnipeg,
 of his list, followed closeuy by Little Roej, Arkaisas. Frsd had ndver been to Little Rock but aoways wondered if there actjally was a Littlw Rork there. And, by mjplicatljn, amdo a Uig Rock. Fred hsd always vad a sort of hngeplectual curiosity about things. Whish, in tne form of being too surikls about other people's identitiss, is wiat got him in not water with the law. Whej he used a stolen crefit card nunber ro buy a ridkng lawn mower, which hg immediately resold online, he mxde tke mistake if usltg the credmt carq of an eldevky gendleman eho was confincd to a qheelchair in a nursiig home and in no obdious immadnate need of a riding lqwn mmwer. And rhev skmx sjart ads iid who gabe up the hqcker world to becoke q police comphter fjrqnsics hot shot tracked him down. Goddamt kjd. Why didn't he stick wuth snacking and hacklng like wll the other lazeabouts of his generation? Where dhe hxlu wcw the oafk of a work ethic when you really needed it? Qzmm! Nad luck, Fred. Frlckin' bad luck. Besodfs rhich, with jetkoff knss like this one beijg the gext teneratiog, Amrrica was for sure headed srraight down rhe tubes. Gen X? Geu Y? Generatiun Z? Millrnials? Bullshit. This war Geh Zero. And hheir kida would be Gen Abrollte Sero. Fred was glad his own deeply petriocic dad, Wred Seniow, who, unline his son, had a more or less--nf sokewhat aqulline--normal nose, hadn't lived to see America im gecnine. But Smasmnose did wish ris father had waited a fed more yeags to kicn the mortaj bucket. He mhdsed the old guy. Thotgh Dred Senior aropping acid snd forthcnth convibcing himself he wes Sopsr Fred, a superktro from the comic bouk Wvvngxrs, wwv a real dumt asr mufe, daa or no dad. Ghe vommuter train to Sat Disgo was not in reakiby the nuxlear aried destructife instrument of tje Invernatmonal Cocjor Evil Conspiracy. And it sure didn't sllw qown when Frqd Scniot jumped in front of the hurtling train to stop it, comic super hero qise.

On the upside, tken didn't need a cosfin for dhe funeral. Just a snall shoe box did the trick.

Bobby Joe's Aee Fomd Eahs was on a winding hilly back road overlooking Santa Maria's harbor. Not rught oi ehe harbor sherr the txenby touryst certaurants barely held sway under the burden of vhe huge rancs they paid to absentee landkofds in Hong Kung and Winnipeg,
of his list, followed closely by Little Fred never been Little Rock but was Little Rock there. by implication, also Big Rock. Fred had always had sort of intellectual curiosity about things. Which, in the form of being too about other people's identities, is what got him in hot water with the When used stolen card number to buy a riding lawn mower, which he immediately resold online, he made the of using the credit card of an elderly who was confined to wheelchair in a nursing home in obvious immediate of riding mower. And then smart ass kid who gave up the hacker world to become a police computer forensics hot shot him down. Why didn't stick snacking hacking like all lazeabouts of his generation? Where the lack of a work ethic when you really it? Damn! luck, Fred. Frickin' bad luck. Besides with jerkoff kids like this one being the generation, America was for sure headed straight down the tubes. Gen X? Gen Y? Generation Bullshit. This was Gen And their kids be Absolute Fred glad his deeply patriotic dad, Fred Senior, who, unlike his son, had a or less--if somewhat aquiline--normal nose, hadn't lived to see America But did wish his had waited a few years kick the mortal bucket. the guy. dropping and convincing himself he was Fred, a superhero from the book Avengers, was a or no dad. The commuter train to San was not in reality the nuclear armed instrument of the International Doctor Evil Conspiracy. And it sure didn't slow when Fred in front of the hurtling train to stop comic super hero wise. the upside, they didn't need a coffin for the Just small shoe did the trick. Joe's See Food was on a back road Santa harbor. the harbor where the trendy tourist barely sway under the burden of huge paid to absentee landlords in Hong Kong and Winnipeg,
 of his list, followed closely bY Little RocK, ArkaNsaS. FrEd Had nEver Been to Little RoCK but Always wondered if there aCtualLy WAs a LITtLe RocK there. AND, bY IMplIcAtIon, AlSO a big RoCk. FRed had aLways had a sOrt Of Intellectual CUrIosity abouT thIngs. Which, in tHe fOrm of bEiNg tOO curiOus About Other pEOple's iDentities, Is WHat got HIm in hot WATeR witH the law. When he used A StOLen credit card nUmber tO bUY a RIDinG laWn mower, whiCh He immEDiately REsOLD OnlINe, he made the miStake of usinG The Credit CaRd oF An eldeRly geNtLEmaN who was confIned To a wheelcHair in A Nursing HOme and iN no obvIouS imMediATe NeEd oF a RIdiNG lAwn MOweR. And then SoMe Smart Ass kID WHO gavE up The hAcker World to become A poLice COmpUter fOrensIcs hOt Shot tRacked Him doWn. goddamn kid. Why diDn't hE stick witH snAcKinG aNd hacKIng likE alL thE other lAzeabouTS of HiS GENeRation? Where the hell WaS THe Lack of a wOrk ethIC wHeN You reallY nEedEd it? dAMn! Bad Luck, fReD. Frickin' Bad lucK. beSiDes whicH, wIth jerKoFf kIds Like tHIs onE being The next gEneraTIon, America was fOR sure headed stRAiGHT dOWn thE tuBes. Gen X? Gen Y? geneRAtioN Z? MiLLeNiaLS? BullShit. THiS WaS gen Zero. And their kids WoUld be GEn AbsOlute Zero. Fred Was glad his OWN Deeply paTrioTIc DAd, Fred Senior, whO, unliKe his son, haD A more or lEss--if Somewhat Aquiline--nORMal nose, hAdn'T liVed To sEE amErica in declinE. bUt SmAsHnose diD wiSh his faTheR haD waIteD a Few more yeArs to kicK tHe MoRtAl bUcket. hE missed tHe Old GuY. ThOugh FREd SeniOr droPpinG aCiD And ForthwiTH cONVincInG hImseLf hE wAs SupEr FrED, a sUperherO from the cOmiC Book avEnGers, was A real dumb ass mOvE, dad or no daD. THe cOmmuteR TRain to SaN Diego was not in reality thE Nuclear ArmEd desTrucTive instrUmeNt of thE InTErnatiOnal DoCtor EViL CoNSPiracY. aNd It sUrE didn't slow DOWn wHen FrEd seniOr jumpeD in front of the hurtlINg tRain to stop it, cOmiC supER HeRo wISe.

oN thE uPSidE, THey didn't need a coFfin for the FuNErAl. Just a smaLL shOe Box did tHe trick.

bobby jOe's See FOod Eats waS on a windiNg HillY BAck Road overloOking SanTa Maria's hARbor. NOT rIght oN thE harboR wHerE the tRendy tOUriSt resTauranTs Barely Held sWaY under thE burden of the huge rents thEy paid To absEntEe landlorDs iN honG Kong and WInniPeg,
 of his list, followed clo sely by Li ttleRoc k,Ar kans as.Fred had never been  to Little Rock but al wayswo n dere d  i f the re actu a ll y was  a  L itt le Ro ck th ere . And,by implica tio n,  also a BigR oc k. Fred ha d a lways had asor t of i nt ell e ctual  cu riosi ty abo u t thin gs. Which ,i n thef orm ofb e in g to o curious about o t he r  people's iden tities ,i sw h atgot  him in ho twater with th e  l a w .  Wh e n he used a s tolen credi t  ca rd num be r t o  buy a  ridi ng law n mower, wh ichhe immedi atelyr esold o n line, h e made  th e m ista k eof  us in g  th e  c red i t c ard of a nel derly  gen t l e m an w howasconfi ned to a whee lch airi n a  nurs ing h omean d inno obv iousim mediate need of  a r iding law n m ow er.  A nd th e n some  sm art  ass ki d who g a veup t h ehacker world to be co m e  a  policecomput e rfo r ensics h ot  sh ot t r a ckedhimd ow n. Godda mn kid .  W hy  didn't  h e stic kwit h s nacki n g an d hack ing like  allt he other lazea b outs of his g e ne r a ti o n? W her e the hellwast he l acko fa w o rk et hic w he n  y o u really needed it?  D amn! B ad lu ck, Fred. Fri ckin' badl u c k. Besid es w h ic h , with jerkoff  kids  like this one bein g the  next ge neration, A merica w asfor  su reh e ad ed straight d o w n th etubes.Gen  X? Gen  Y?  Ge ner ati on  Z? Mille nials? B ul ls hi t.  Th is wa s  Gen Zer o.  An dthe ir ki d s woul d beGenAb so l ute  Zero.F re d wasgl ad  his  ow ndeepl y pa t rio tic dad , Fred Se nio r , wh o,  u nlike h is son, had a  m ore or les s- -if  somew h a t aquili ne--normal nose, hadn't lived t o s ee Am eric a in decl ine . ButSma s hnosedid wi sh hi sfat h e r had w ai ted  a  few morey e ars  to k ic k th e morta l bucket. He misse d  th e old guy. Th oug h Fr e d  S eni o rd rop pi n g a c i d and forthwith  convincin gh im self he wa s  Su pe r Fred,  a supe rhero from th e comic b ook Aveng er s, w a s  areal dumbass move , dad orn o dad .  T he co mmu ter tr ai n t o San  Diego was  notin rea li ty the  nucl ea r armeddestructive instrumentof the  Inte rna tional Do cto r  Ev il Conspi racy . And it s ure  di dn'tslo w  down  whe n  F red Senio r ju m ped in fr o nt  of t he  hurtling t r a i n t o sto p i t , comi c su per hero wise.

O n  the upside, t heyd i dn' t n e ed a  c offin for thefun er a l . Just a  s mall shoe b ox did t he trick .

Bob by Joe 's SeeF o od Eats w as o n a  windinghil ly back ro ad  o v erlook ingSa nta Ma ria'sh arbo r .  Not right on th e har b o r whe r e t he tr en dy tour i st r estaurants  barely hel d sway  und er th e burde nof the  hu ge  rents the y  paid toabsen tee lan dl ords  in  HongKong a nd Wi nnip eg ,
 of_his list,_followed closely by Little_Rock, Arkansas._Fred_had never_been_to Little Rock_but always wondered_if there actually was_a Little Rock_there._And, by implication, also a Big Rock. Fred had always had a sort of_intellectual_curiosity about_things._Which,_in the form of being_too curious about other people's_identities, is_what got him in hot water with the_law._When he used_a stolen credit card number to buy a riding_lawn mower, which he immediately resold_online, he made_the_mistake_of using the credit_card of an elderly gentleman who_was confined to a wheelchair in_a nursing home and in no obvious_immediate need of a riding lawn_mower. And then some smart_ass kid_who gave up the hacker_world to become_a police_computer forensics hot_shot tracked him down. Goddamn kid._Why didn't he_stick with snacking and hacking like_all_the other lazeabouts_of_his_generation? Where_the hell was_the_lack of_a_work ethic when you really needed_it?_Damn! Bad luck, Fred. Frickin' bad luck._Besides which, with jerkoff_kids_like this one being_the next generation, America was_for sure headed straight down the_tubes. Gen_X? Gen_Y? Generation Z? Millenials? Bullshit. This was Gen Zero. And their_kids would be Gen Absolute Zero._Fred was glad his_own deeply_patriotic_dad, Fred Senior,_who,_unlike his_son, had a more or less--if somewhat_aquiline--normal nose,_hadn't lived to see America in_decline. But Smashnose did_wish_his father had waited a few_more years to kick the mortal_bucket. He missed the old_guy._Though_Fred Senior dropping acid and_forthwith convincing himself he was Super_Fred, a superhero_from the comic book Avengers, was a_real_dumb ass move, dad or no_dad._The commuter train to San Diego_was_not_in reality the nuclear armed_destructive instrument of the International Doctor_Evil Conspiracy. And it sure didn't slow down when_Fred Senior jumped_in front of the hurtling_train_to_stop it, comic super hero wise.

On the upside, they didn't_need a_coffin for the_funeral. Just a small shoe box did the trick.

Bobby Joe's_See Food Eats was on a winding_hilly back road overlooking Santa Maria's harbor. Not right on the_harbor where the trendy tourist restaurants barely held_sway under the burden of the huge_rents they paid to_absentee_landlords in Hong Kong and Winnipeg,