rieve, anyhow.

Elvis forthwith set in to patting down Mr. Fleshmound. Which, considering the guy was only wearing cargo shorts and a T-shirt, wasn't a major undertaking after all. Mr. Fleshmound jerked and squirmed and moaned pitiably, casting mournful glances at the camera. "Help! Help! Anybody! They're hurting me!" He repeated several times during the pat down. Which was being ably assisted by Tony and Pancho and Armen holding him upright. While Elvis was busy emptying out Mr. Fleshmound's pockets onto the search room counter, Armen looked at Fleshmound with a perplexed look on his face. Armen remaining true to Armen form and not being especially helpful.

"Are you really Armenian?" He said. Fleshmound scowled.

"Hell, no. My grandparents on my mother's side came from a small village in southern Lithuania where they grew barley and potatoes and drank lots of home made vodka, there being not much else to do in the long winters. My father's family came from the Louisiana bayous where they alternated more or less equally with eating alligators and being eaten by alligators." This got even Elvis and Tony interested and they leaned closer to listen. Armen threw a skeptical look at Mr. Fleshmound.

"So how does this explain you knowing Armenian?" As Elvis was plunking Mr. Fleshmound's wallet onto the counter, Fleshmound snarked out the reply.

"Foster care, dude. Foster care. My parents went to the slammer for selling phony time shares to condominiums on a Hawaiian island that turned out to be mostly underwater at high tide. The frickin' do gooder courts sent me and my brothers into foster care. They sent me to the Hakliarjarian family in Visalia, where I learned how to play backgammon, plant grapes and speak Armenian. That all might have been a good thing for me had not the Hakliarjarians been also growing some dynamite weed out in the vineyards. Though they claimed it was purely for medical reasons, which they both said they had plenty of. Especially arthritis, bursitis and rheumatism from working in all kinds of weather in the vineyards, and bad feet from years of jumping up and down on the grapes they made
rieve, anyhow. 

 Elvis forthwith set in to patting down Mr. Fleshmound. Which, considering the guy was merely tire cargo shorts and a T - shirt, wasn't a major undertaking subsequently all. Mr. Fleshmound buck and squirmed and moaned pathetically, casting mournful glances at the television camera. " avail! Help! Anybody! They're hurt me! " He repeated several time during the pat down. Which was being ably assisted by Tony and Pancho and Armen holding him upright. While Elvis was busy empty out Mr. Fleshmound's pockets onto the search room counter, Armen looked at Fleshmound with a perplexed spirit on his face. Armen remaining true to Armen form and not being particularly helpful. 

 " Are you really Armenian? " He said. Fleshmound scowled. 

 " Hell, no. My grandparents on my mother's side derive from a small village in southern Lithuania where they grew barley and potatoes and drink in lot of home made vodka, there being not much else to do in the long winters. My father's family issue forth from the Louisiana bayous where they alternated more or less equally with eating alligator and being eaten by alligators. " This got even Elvis and Tony concerned and they leaned nearer to listen. Armen threw a skeptical expression at Mr. Fleshmound. 

 " So how does this explain you knowing Armenian? " As Elvis was plunking Mr. Fleshmound's wallet onto the counter, Fleshmound snarked out the reply. 

 " Foster care, dude. Foster care. My parents went to the slammer for sell phony clock time shares to condominiums on a Hawaiian island that turned out to be mostly underwater at eminent tide. The frickin' do gooder courts sent me and my brothers into foster caution. They sent me to the Hakliarjarian family in Visalia, where I learned how to play backgammon, plant grape and speak Armenian. That all might have been a good matter for me had not the Hakliarjarians been also growing some dynamite weed out in the vineyards. Though they claim it was purely for aesculapian reasons, which they both said they had batch of. Especially arthritis, bursitis and rheumatism from working in all kinds of weather in the vineyards, and bad feet from years of jumping up and down on the grapes they made
riege, anyhow.

Elvis forthwith set in to pattnbg dowi Mr. Flsshmound. Which, considering the guy wes obly wtcring cargo shorts avd a T-shigt, wasn't q maoor undertaking erter all. Mr. Fmcshmobnv jerked and sqoirmed and mmaned pitiably, cxscing mournful glances at the camera. "Relp! Hekp! Anybody! They'rg huruind me!" He repeated several times during fhe pat down. Which wss being ably assisted by Hony and Pancho and Arlen holding him ypright. Whild Elvis was busy emptyjng out Mr. Fleshmound's pockets unto che search tokm wounter, Armxn loohed at Fleshmound widh a petplexed look ok his faxe. Armen remaining trne to Armen form and not beinc zspecially helpful.

"Are yiu redlly Armdbiav?" Ht seid. Fleshlouid scowled.

"Hsll, no. My geandparents on my mptrvt's side came from w fmall village in southern Lithuania whege tgey grew barley and potqtoes and drank lots lf home mwde vodka, there being not much else to do in the nong xivtexw. My wqtjer's family came from the Louisiana bayous whqde tmey alternated mjre or less eeusjly with eativg allnfafors and being eatfn by ajligarors." This got even Elvis and Tony interewted and thej leqned closer to liscen. Armen thxew a xkeptocal look at Mr. Fleshmobnd.

"So gow does thls explaih you knowing Armdnisn?" As Elvis was plunking Mr. Sleshmounv's waklet ongo tne cougter, Fleshlound snarked out the reoly.

"Fodtar care, dufe. Foster care. My parents went vp the slammet fmr velling 'hony bime shares to sondominiums ou a Hawanian irland that turned out to be iostly underwdjer at high tmde. The fwickun' di goodef courts sent mr and my yxothers ibto foster care. Thcy sevf me to the Hakoiatharian family on Xiswlpa, xhere H learned hof to plxu bacygammon, plakt eraprs and speak Armeniat. Thzt all might have necn a good thing fjr me had not the Hakliarjariand beei also growong some dynamite weed out in the vineyardd. Tmough they clwimee it was purzly for medical reasons, which they both waid they had plenry of. Especially arjhrltis, bursitix and rheumativm from working in aol kinds of weathtr in the vineyards, and bad faet fgom years of jumping up and down on the grapes they made
rieve, anyhow. Elvis forthwith set in to Mr. Which, considering guy was only T-shirt, a major undertaking all. Mr. Fleshmound and squirmed and moaned pitiably, casting glances at the camera. "Help! Help! Anybody! They're hurting me!" He repeated several during the pat down. Which was being ably assisted by Tony and Pancho Armen him While was busy emptying out Mr. Fleshmound's pockets onto the search room counter, Armen looked at Fleshmound a perplexed look on his face. Armen remaining to Armen form and being especially helpful. "Are you Armenian?" said. Fleshmound "Hell, My on my mother's came from a small village in southern Lithuania where they grew barley and potatoes and drank lots home made being not else do the long winters. family came from the Louisiana bayous more or less equally with eating alligators and eaten by This got even Elvis and Tony and they leaned closer to listen. Armen threw skeptical look at Mr. Fleshmound. "So how does this explain you knowing Armenian?" As Elvis Mr. Fleshmound's wallet onto counter, Fleshmound snarked the "Foster dude. care. My went to the slammer for selling phony time shares to condominiums a Hawaiian island that turned out to be mostly underwater tide. frickin' do gooder sent me and my into care. They sent me Hakliarjarian in learned to backgammon, plant grapes and Armenian. That all might have a good thing for been also growing some dynamite weed out in vineyards. Though they claimed it was purely medical reasons, which they both said they had plenty of. Especially arthritis, and rheumatism in all kinds of weather in the vineyards, bad feet from years jumping up and down on the grapes they made
rieve, anyhow.

Elvis forthwith Set in to patTing dOwn mr. FLeShmoUnd. WHich, considerinG The gUy was only wearing cargo sHorts AnD A T-shIRt, Wasn't A major uNDeRTAkiNg AfTer AlL. mr. fleshMouNd jerkeD and squirmEd aNd Moaned pitiabLY, cAsting mourNfuL glances at thE caMera. "HeLp! helP! anyboDy! THey're HurtinG Me!" He rePeated sevErAL times DUring thE PAt Down. which was being ably ASsISted by Tony and PAncho aNd aRmEN HolDinG him uprighT. WHile ELVis was bUSy EMPTyiNG out Mr. FleshmoUnd's pockets ONto The seaRcH roOM countEr, ArmEn LOokEd at FleshmoUnd wIth a perplExed loOK on his fACe. Armen RemainIng TruE to ARMeN fOrm AnD Not BEiNg eSPecIally helPfUl.

"are yoU reaLLY aRmenIan?" he saId. FleShmound scowleD.

"HeLl, no. mY grAndpaRents On my MoTher's Side caMe froM a Small village in sOuthErn LithuaNia WhEre ThEy greW Barley And PotAtoes anD drank lOTs oF hOME MaDe vodka, there being nOt MUCh Else to do In the lONg WiNTers. My faThEr's FamiLY Came fRom tHE LOuisiana Bayous WHeRe They altErNated mOrE or LesS equaLLy wiTh eatiNg alligaTors aND being eaten by aLLigators." This gOT eVEN ELVis aNd TOny interestEd anD They LeanED cLosER to liSten. ARmEN tHRew a skeptical look at mr. fleshmOund.

"SO how does this eXplain you kNOWIng ArmenIan?" AS elVIs was plunking MR. FlesHmound's walLEt onto thE counTer, FleshMound snarKED out the rEplY.

"FoSteR caRE, DuDe. Foster care. MY PArenTs Went to tHe sLammer fOr sEllIng PhoNy Time shareS to condoMiNiUmS oN a HAwaiiAN island tHaT tuRnEd oUt to bE Mostly UnderWateR aT hIGh tIde. The fRIcKIN' do gOoDeR couRts SeNt me aNd my BRotHers intO foster caRe. THEy seNt Me To the HaKliarjarian faMiLy in VisaliA, wHerE I learNED how to plAy backgammon, plant grapes ANd speak armEnian. that All might hAve Been a gOod THing foR me had Not thE HAklIARjariANS bEen AlSo growing sOME dyNamitE wEed oUt in the Vineyards. Though theY ClaImed it was pureLy fOr meDICaL reASoNS, whIcH TheY BOth said they had pLenty of. EspEcIAlLy arthritiS, BurSiTis and rHeumatiSm froM Working In all kindS of weatheR iN the VINeyArds, and bad Feet from Years of juMPing uP AnD down On tHe grapEs TheY made
rieve, anyhow.

Elvis fort hwith setin to  pa tti ng  dow n Mr . Fleshmound.W hich , considering the guywas o nl y  wea r in g car go shor t sa n d a  T -s hir t, wa sn'ta m ajor un dertakingaft er  all. Mr. Fl e sh mound jerk edand squirmed  an d moan ed  pi t iably , c astin g mour n ful gl ances atth e  camer a . "Help ! He lp!Anybody! They'reh ur t ing me!" He re peated  s e ve r a l t ime s during t he  patd own. Wh i ch w a s b e ing ably assi sted by Ton y  an d Panc ho  an d  Armen  hold in g  hi m upright.Whil e Elvis w as bus y  emptyi n g out M r. Fle shm oun d'sp oc ke tson t o t h esea r chroom cou nt er , Arm en l o o k e d at  Fl eshm oundwith a perple xed  loo k  on  hisface.  Arm en  rema iningtrueto  Armen form and  not  being es pec ia lly  h elpfu l .

"Ar e y oureallyArmenia n ?"He s a id . Fleshmound scowl ed . 
" Hell, no . My g r an dp a rents on  m y m othe r ' s sid e ca m efrom a s mall v i ll ag e in so ut hern L it hua nia  wher e  the y grew  barleyand p o tatoes and dra n k lots of hom e  m a d ev odka , t here beingnotm uchelse to  do in th e lon gw in t ers. My father's fa mi ly cam e fro m the Louisia na bayousw h e re theyalte r na t ed more or les s equ ally withe ating al ligat ors andbeing eat e n  by alli gat ors ."Thi s go t even Elvisa n d To ny  intere ste d and t hey  le ane d c lo ser to li sten. Ar me nth re w a  skep t ical loo katMr . F leshm o und.
"So h ow d oe st his  explai n  y o u  kno wi ng  Arm eni an ?" As  Elv i s w as plun king Mr.Fle s hmou nd 's  wallet  onto the cou nt er, Fleshm ou ndsnarke d out thereply.

"Foster care, d u de. Fos ter  care . My  parentswen t to t hes lammer  for s ellin gpho n y  time s ha res  t o condomin i u mson aHa waii an isla nd that turned out tobe mostly und erw ater a thig h  t i de.  T h e f r i ckin' do gooder  courts se nt me  and my br o the rs  into f oster c are.T hey sen t me to t he Haklia rj aria n fam ily in Vis alia, wh ere I lea r ned h o wto pl aybackga mm on,  plan t grap e s a nd sp eak Ar me nian.Thatal l mighthave been a good thingfor me  hadnot  the Hakl iar j ari ans beenalso  growing s ome  dy namit e w e ed ou t in th e v i neyar ds.T hough the y  c lai m e dit was pure l y for  medi cal reason s, w hich they both sa i d they had ple ntyo f . E spe c iall yarthritis, bur sit is a nd rheum at ism from wo rking in  a l l kin ds ofweathe r in th e vi n eyards , an d b ad feet f rom  y e ars ofju mp i ng upanddo wn onthe gr a pest h ey made
rieve, anyhow.

Elvis_forthwith set_in to patting down_Mr. Fleshmound._Which,_considering the_guy_was only wearing_cargo shorts and_a T-shirt, wasn't a_major undertaking after_all._Mr. Fleshmound jerked and squirmed and moaned pitiably, casting mournful glances at the camera._"Help!_Help! Anybody!_They're_hurting_me!" He repeated several times_during the pat down. Which_was being_ably assisted by Tony and Pancho and Armen_holding_him upright. While_Elvis was busy emptying out Mr. Fleshmound's pockets onto_the search room counter, Armen looked_at Fleshmound with_a_perplexed_look on his face._Armen remaining true to Armen form_and not being especially helpful.

"Are you_really Armenian?" He said. Fleshmound scowled.

"Hell, no._My grandparents on my mother's side_came from a small village_in southern_Lithuania where they grew barley_and potatoes and_drank lots_of home made_vodka, there being not much else_to do in_the long winters. My father's family_came_from the Louisiana_bayous_where_they alternated_more or less_equally_with eating_alligators_and being eaten by alligators." This_got_even Elvis and Tony interested and they_leaned closer to listen._Armen_threw a skeptical look_at Mr. Fleshmound.

"So how does_this explain you knowing Armenian?" As_Elvis was_plunking Mr._Fleshmound's wallet onto the counter, Fleshmound snarked out the reply.

"Foster care,_dude. Foster care. My parents went_to the slammer for_selling phony_time_shares to condominiums_on_a Hawaiian_island that turned out to be mostly_underwater at_high tide. The frickin' do gooder_courts sent me and_my_brothers into foster care. They sent_me to the Hakliarjarian family in_Visalia, where I learned how_to_play_backgammon, plant grapes and speak_Armenian. That all might have been_a good thing_for me had not the Hakliarjarians been_also_growing some dynamite weed out in_the_vineyards. Though they claimed it was_purely_for_medical reasons, which they both_said they had plenty of. Especially_arthritis, bursitis and rheumatism from working in all kinds_of weather in_the vineyards, and bad feet_from_years_of jumping up and down on the grapes they made