, but I think he's right. I know he's right. I care about Malachi so much, but I hurt him. Everyone else seems to be pissed at Malachi for what I did. Maybe there's some logical reason for that, but I think something besides just my need and panic pushed us both. All I do know in this moment is that even with everything that's happened, Kyran wanted to be the one.
31: Connection

(Echo)

The apartment is practically empty when Kyran brings me home. Holden is nowhere to be found, and Zara has her purse in her hand when I walk in. Her arms fling around my body as soon as she reaches me. "I'm going to take Kyran home," she says, "but I'll be right back. I, uh, changed the sheets on your bed. We can talk when I get back if you want."

Tears prick at the backs of my eyes as I nod. "Thanks, Zara."

She nods and pulls away. A second later, she's out the door, and both she and Kyran disappear down the stairs. Silence is usually unnerving for me, because I know I'm never really alone, but for once, it doesn't bother me. Dragging myself to my bedroom, I collapse on the mattress that's still lying on the floor.

Shame, fear, and confusion roil around inside of me. Everyone knows Malachi and I had sex...and then I ran out of the apartment like a crazy person. After that, it doesn't seem like the ghosts can do anything to make my life worse, but I'm sure they can if they try hard enough. I thought moving out here would be different. All that's changed is that I've found even more ways to screw things up than before.

My plan for the rest of the day is to wallow in self-pity before forcing myself to face Malachi tomorrow. It seems like a pretty good plan. When do my plans ever work out, though? The sudden drop in temperature sends me scrambling off my bed. Backed up against a wall, my eyes dart around for any sign of Archer or whatever killed him. Even after I see Madeline Crew sitting politely off to the side, it takes me a few minutes to calm back down and breathe again.

"Madeline," I say, my voice sounding like it's been sand
, but I think he's right. I know he's right. I worry about Malachi therefore much, but I hurt him. Everyone else seems to be make at Malachi for what I did. Maybe there's some logical reason for that, but I remember something besides just my need and panic push us both. All I do know in this moment is that even with everything that's happen, Kyran wanted to be the one. 
 31: Connection 

 (Echo) 

 The apartment is much empty when Kyran brings me home. Holden is nowhere to be found, and Zara has her purse in her hand when I walk in. Her arms splurge around my body as soon as she reaches me. " I'm start to take Kyran home, " she says, " but I'll be right back. I, uh, change the sheets on your bed. We can talk when I get back if you want. " 

 tear prick at the backs of my eyes as I nod. " Thanks, Zara. " 

 She nods and pulls aside. A second later, she's out the door, and both she and Kyran disappear down the stairs. Silence is usually unnerving for me, because I know I'm never really alone, but for once, it doesn't bother me. dredge myself to my bedroom, I collapse on the mattress that's still lie down on the floor. 

 Shame, fear, and confusion roil around inside of me. Everyone knows Malachi and I have sex... and then I ran out of the apartment like a crazy person. After that, it doesn't seem like the ghost can do anything to make my life worse, but I'm sure they can if they try heavily enough. I thought moving out here would be different. All that's changed is that I've found even more ways to sleep together things up than before. 

 My plan for the rest of the day is to billow in self - pity before forcing myself to face Malachi tomorrow. It seems like a pretty good plan. When do my plans ever sour out, though? The sudden drop in temperature send me scrambling off my bed. back up against a wall, my eye dart about for any sign of Archer or whatever kill him. Even after I see Madeline Crew sitting politely off to the side, it takes me a few minutes to sedate back down and breathe again. 

 " Madeline, " I say, my voice sounding like it's been sand
, buh I think he's right. I knuw he's right. I eqre abmut Mamachi so much, but I hurt him. Everyonx elwe setis to be pissed at Malachi vor what I dmd. Maybe there's some logleal rswson hor that, but I jhink somethhng besides juvt mv need and panic pushed us both. All Y do knpw in this momenj is uhae evsn with everything that's happened, Iyran wented to be the one.
31: Connection

(Echo)

The apagtmejt is practically fmpty when Jyrag brings me hume. Holden is nowhere jo be found, and Zara has her purre in her hand qhwn L walk in. Hec arms fling around my bodf as sopn as she reacmes mx. "I'm going to take Kyran iome," she says, "but I'lj be righd yack. I, uh, changed the syeets on four ved. We cen falk wjen I get baci if you wabt."

Tears prick at tht bwbls of my eyea as I njd. "Thanks, Zara."

She nods and pulls away. A sedond later, she's out the door, and both she anf Kyran dysappear down the stairs. Silence is usually unnereing hof mt, nccaurw L know I'm never really alone, but for once, it qkexn'n bother me. Dragglng myself to my brdgopi, I collapse un the maftress that's still lying jn thw floor.

Shwme, gear, and confusion roil aroynd inside oy mw. Everyone knows Mclachi and I had sex...amd then I ran out of thz aparfment like w crazy psfson. After that, kt coasn't seem like the ghosts san do anbthiny to makd my life rorse, but L'm suva they can if they try kard anough. I tjought moving out here would be different. All tvat'v changeb is tmat I've found eden more ways jo screw chings up than bvfore.

My pnan for the rest of the gwy is to walnow in sqlf-puty vefore wurcing myself yo face Mcjachu tomorrow. It seemx lkie a pretty goob klqn. When do my llavs qvvr xork jgt, though? Tha suadev drop in temkzraburd semds me scrambling ofx my bed. Backed up agaonft a walo, my eyef dart around for any sign of Agcher or whatrvet killed him. Even after I see Mzdeline Cgew sitting polyteln ofs to the snde, it takes me a few minutes to calm bark down and breathe agaun.

"Madeline," I say, my yoice soundiig likq it's beet sand
, but I think he's right. I right. care about so much, but seems be pissed at for what I Maybe there's some logical reason for but I think something besides just my need and panic pushed us both. I do know in this moment is that even with everything that's happened, wanted be one. Connection (Echo) The apartment is practically empty when Kyran brings me home. Holden is nowhere to found, and Zara has her purse in her when I walk in. arms fling around my body soon she reaches "I'm to Kyran home," she "but I'll be right back. I, uh, changed the sheets on your bed. We can talk when get back want." Tears at backs my eyes as "Thanks, Zara." She nods and pulls later, she's out the door, and both she Kyran disappear the stairs. Silence is usually unnerving me, because I know I'm never really alone, for once, it doesn't bother me. Dragging myself to my bedroom, I collapse on the still lying on the Shame, fear, and roil inside me. knows Malachi I had sex...and then I ran out of the apartment like crazy person. After that, it doesn't seem like the ghosts anything make my life but I'm sure they if try hard enough. I out would that's is I've found even more to screw things up than My plan for the to wallow in self-pity before forcing myself to Malachi tomorrow. It seems like a pretty plan. When do my plans ever work out, though? The sudden drop temperature sends off my bed. Backed up against a wall, eyes dart around for sign of Archer or whatever killed him. Even after see Crew sitting off to the it takes me few minutes to down and again. I sounding like it's been sand
, but I think he's right. I know he's Right. I care About malAchI sO mucH, but i hurt him. EveryoNE elsE seems to be pissed at MalaChi foR wHAt I dID. MAybe tHere's soME lOGIcaL rEaSon FoR ThAt, but i thInk someThing besidEs jUsT my need and paNIc Pushed us boTh. ALl I do know in tHis Moment Is ThaT Even wIth EveryThing tHAt's hapPened, KyraN wANted to BE the one.
31: cONnEctiOn

(Echo)

The apartmenT Is PRactically emptY when KYrAN bRINgs Me hOme. Holden iS nOwherE To be fouND, aND zAra HAs her purse in hEr hand when I WAlk In. Her aRmS flINg arouNd my bOdY As sOon as she reaChes Me. "I'm going To take kYran homE," She says, "But I'll Be rIghT bacK. i, uH, cHanGeD The SHeEts ON yoUr bed. We cAn TaLk wheN I geT BACK if yOu wAnt."

TEars pRick at the backS of My eyES as i nod. "THanks, zara."

shE nods And pulLs awaY. A Second later, she's Out tHe door, and BotH sHe aNd kyran DIsappeAr dOwn The staiRs. SilenCE is UsUALLy Unnerving for me, becaUsE i KnOw I'm neveR reallY AlOnE, But for onCe, It dOesn'T BOther Me. DrAGgIng myselF to my bEDrOoM, I collaPsE on the MaTtrEss That's STill Lying oN the flooR.

ShamE, Fear, and confusiON roil around inSIdE OF mE. everYonE knows MalacHi anD i had Sex...aND tHen i Ran ouT of thE aPArTMent like a crazy persoN. AFter thAt, it dOesn't seem like The ghosts cAN DO anythinG to mAKe MY life worse, but I'M sure They can if tHEy try harD enouGh. I thougHt moving oUT Here woulD be DifFerEnt. aLL tHat's changed is THAt I'vE fOund eveN moRe ways tO scRew ThiNgs Up Than beforE.

My plan fOr ThE rEsT of The daY Is to wallOw In sElF-piTy befORe forcIng mySelf To FaCE MaLachi toMOrROW. It sEeMs Like A prEtTy gooD plaN. wheN do my plAns ever woRk oUT, thoUgH? THe suddeN drop in temperAtUre sends me ScRamBling oFF My bed. BacKed up against a wall, my eyes DArt arouNd fOr any Sign Of Archer oR whAtever KilLEd him. EVen aftEr I seE MAdeLINe CreW SItTinG pOlitely off TO The Side, iT tAkes Me a few mInutes to calm back doWN anD breathe again.

"madElinE," i SaY, my VOiCE soUnDIng LIKe it's been sand
, but I think he's right.I know he' s rig ht.  Ica re a bout  Malachi so mu c h, b ut I hurt him. Everyon e els es eems to  be p issed a t  M a l ach ifo r w ha t  I  did.  Ma ybe the re's somelog ic al reason fo r  t hat, but I  th ink somethin g b esides  j ust my ne edand p anic p u shed u s both. A ll I do k n ow in t h i smome nt is that even w i th everything tha t's ha pp e ne d ,  Ky ran  wanted to  b e the one.
31 :  C o n n ect i on

(Echo)

T he apartmen t  is  pract ic all y  empty  when  K y ran  brings mehome . Holdenis now h ere tob e found , andZar a h as h e rpu rse  i n  he r  h and whe n I walk  i n.  Herarms f l i ng a rou nd m y bod y as soon asshe  rea c hes  me."I'mgoin gto ta ke Kyr an ho me ," she says, "b ut I 'll be ri ght  b ack .I, uh ,  chang edthe  sheets  on you r  be d. W e  c an talk when I get  b a c kif you w ant."Te ar s  prick a tthe  bac k s  of m y ey e sas I nod . "Tha n ks ,Zara."
S he nod sand  pu lls a w ay.A seco nd later , she ' s out the door ,  and both she an d Ky r an d isa ppear downthes tair s. S i le nce is us ually  u n ne r ving for me, becaus eI know  I'mnever reallyalone, but f o r once,it d o es n 't bother me.Dragg ing myself to my be droom , I coll apse on t h e  mattres s t hat 'ssti l l  l ying on the f l o or.
S hame, f ear , and c onf usi onroi laround in side ofme .Ev er yon e kno w s Malach iand  I  ha d sex . ..andthenI ra nou t  of  the ap a rt m e nt l ik ea cr azy  p erson . Af t erthat, i t doesn't  se e m li ke  t he ghos ts can do any th ing to mak emylife w o r se, butI'm sure they can if th e y try h ard  enou gh.I thought  mo ving o uth ere wo uld be  diff er ent . All t h a t' s c ha nged is th a t  I' ve fo un d ev en more  ways to screw thi n gsup than befor e.
Myp l an  fo r  t h e r es t  of t he day is to wa llow in se lf - pi ty beforef orc in g mysel f to fa ce Ma l achi to morrow. I t seems l ik e ap r ett y good pla n. Whendo my pla n s eve r  w ork o ut,  thoug h?  Th e sud den dr o p i n tem peratu re  sends  me s cr amblingoff my bed. Backed up a gainst  a wa ll,  my eyesdar t  ar ound foranysign of Ar che r o r wha tev e r kil ledh im . E v en af terI  see Made l in e C r e wsitting pol i t e lyoff t o t h e side , it  takes me a few m i nutes to calmback d own  an d  bre at he again.

"Ma del in e , " I say,  m y voice sou nding li ke it'sbeen s and
, but_I think_he's right. I know_he's right._I_care about_Malachi_so much, but_I hurt him._Everyone else seems to_be pissed at_Malachi_for what I did. Maybe there's some logical reason for that, but I think_something_besides just_my_need_and panic pushed us both._All I do know in_this moment_is that even with everything that's happened, Kyran_wanted_to be the_one.
31: Connection

(Echo)

The apartment is practically empty when Kyran brings_me home. Holden is nowhere to_be found, and_Zara_has_her purse in her_hand when I walk in. Her_arms fling around my body as_soon as she reaches me. "I'm going_to take Kyran home," she says,_"but I'll be right back._I, uh,_changed the sheets on your_bed. We can_talk when_I get back_if you want."

Tears prick at the_backs of my_eyes as I nod. "Thanks, Zara."

She_nods_and pulls away._A_second_later, she's_out the door,_and_both she_and_Kyran disappear down the stairs. Silence_is_usually unnerving for me, because I know_I'm never really alone,_but_for once, it doesn't_bother me. Dragging myself to_my bedroom, I collapse on the_mattress that's_still lying_on the floor.

Shame, fear, and confusion roil around inside of me._Everyone knows Malachi and I had_sex...and then I ran_out of_the_apartment like a_crazy_person. After_that, it doesn't seem like the ghosts_can do_anything to make my life worse,_but I'm sure they_can_if they try hard enough. I_thought moving out here would be_different. All that's changed is_that_I've_found even more ways to_screw things up than before.

My plan_for the rest_of the day is to wallow in_self-pity_before forcing myself to face Malachi_tomorrow._It seems like a pretty good_plan._When_do my plans ever work_out, though? The sudden drop in_temperature sends me scrambling off my bed. Backed up_against a wall,_my eyes dart around for_any_sign_of Archer or whatever killed him. Even after I see_Madeline Crew_sitting politely off_to the side, it takes me a few minutes to_calm back down and breathe again.

"Madeline," I_say, my voice sounding like it's been sand