this described me to a t honestly i think subconsciously i do things differently than most because i already know how i am   its the little life short cuts that mean more than anyone could imagine i always preferred paying extra to have someone else do my grocery shopping for me and it would be looked at as lazy before covid but if i did it myself then i would be in the store for 4 hours still forget half of the things buy things i didnt  need at all and feel anxious about it   the version of myself in my mind is completely different than who i really am