thank you for sharing your story and your perspective  this is a wonderful community where i have never felt judged but at the same time never felt coddled    my son has adhd and some tendencies that put him on the spectrum though not enough to warrant a clinical diagnosis according to his doctor  he often is confounded by the unfairness of a situation and can get quite upset about it  its in these moments where i reassure him that his confusion and anger are justified and normal  life is often cruel and arbitrary  people can be petty and capricious  our goal is to take that angry energy and redirect it into something that improves or at least mitigates the situation so that he never puts someone else in that position  if you try to suppress or sugar-coat those emotions you only provide fuel to a much bigger fire later  well done on keeping a level head