reminds me of some sort of protocol my mother wrote about me in my first year at school at some point i apparently once said to my granny something along the line of im not a naughty child i was just born bad not sure how to translate this to english  i felt for a long time that i dont have a place in this world and im sometimes still not entirely sure what to do with myself where i belong what i have to do to not be the misfit again that is but a nuisance to everyone  its somewhat disturbing to see how many people are feeling like that almost as if it were our fate to grow up suffering     edit im not entirely sure right now if i screwed up and used a wrong word or something that gives the whole thing a different meaning with protocol i meant that she was writing down notable things about my behaviour maybe for looking for a psychologicst or something though i do have a somewhat difficult relationship with her im not sure if she is actually a narcissist but she does have issues she is often in a bad mood and a controll freak i often cant even talk to her about important things without her getting annoyed immediately im somewhat scared of interacting with her