yes to all suggestions for therapy   realizing its not you and that slowly you can see incremental changes through  the development of a plan with your therapist we can change were not doomed to be this way forever even if it feels that way most of the time   also think of what makes you enjoy life my adhd causes me many problems especially in my relationship but i also know it causes traits in me that my partner loves like my random humour and unique way of thinking she loves my creativity and when i can stick with it the results of my many hobbies   are there really low times in our lives because of my adhd absolutely but it also ends up motivating me to make a change in a priority area that we realize is an area of friction but its not easy it might take several strategies several attempts hundreds of attempts dont give up  we will always have to work harder to do the minimum on the necessary but boring things in life but its worth it when you see improvement no matter how small in your life your relationships with a partner family friends coworkers etc thats when i start to feel my happiest not just because it improves my relationship but i also feel like my own self-worth improves i finally have pride in myself   no one is a lost cause but dont put so much pressure on yourself to fix yourself immediately educate yourself about your symptoms and work towards solutions especially with a therapist at a pace that makes sense for you