tough love only works when i am on board with it for example i have a counsellor lady who calls me and gets all disappointed in me if i didnt do the stuff we set out for me together really she just waits for me to come up with the idea myself so in the end its all me i know that but i still work harder so as not to disappoint her the idea is that she is the one im letting down and not myself so i am less inclined to beat myself up because someone has already done that for me sort of its only been one week and i havent had any pebbles taken from my jar the visual representation of my counsellors disappointment lol but yeah only new so we shall see how it goes