ive lived undiagnosed for my whole life i was diagnosed as a child but untreated ive always known but i had my own unhealthy coping methods that got me by just finefine means allowed me to mask my symptoms and suffering my son is 8 and is absolutely clearly non-typical he doesnt have a diagnosis yet but will very soon he lives with his mother most of the year across country and he just went back after spending the month with me   i cant let him have to figure this out alone like i did i cant let him get his habits and tendencies beat down like i did he cant have the face this stigma while i hide like a coward so i went to the doctor my doctor has known me for many years knows about most of my habits and was incredibly eager to help me with adhd he even made a diagnosis on the spot after only about a 20 minute interview which he said he really didnt even need to conduct to reach that point   im not even a week into my diagnosis but day by day is too much to handle hour by hour is barely doable my head is a disaster half an hour ago i wasnt doing so hot so i watched some dragon ball super i loved dragon ball z as a kid and have found that returning to my childish comforts is able to calm me down it cheered me up quite a bit   i have since transitioned and writing this out is the only thing that has calmed me down - i spent the last half hour in the tub sobbing and wishing i could kill myself wishing so badly that it was an option   i may have to admit myself into the hospital but i will survive