this scenario has become somewhat of a meme and yet i honestly believe its a good situation which we struggle to notice it sits right in our emotional blindspot  x200b  one of our symptoms is emotional impulsivity we can unwittingly turn tiny emotional reactions into strong ones very quickly the perfectly reasonable feeling of slight frustration can spiral into an emotional monster  this amplification process is almost entirely beyond our control and trying to calm it down or descalate it takes enormous effort so much effort in fact youve likely given up trying and in my opinion rightly so its bloody hard work  however we are not entirely helpless something we can control in this situation are which emotions become candidates for this amplification process adding more horses to the race so to speak decreases the odds that the frustration emotion will be the one that wins and gets amplified it would be nice if we couild squeeze gratitude or happiness into the running so they have a chance at getting elected instead  its not that simple though its not just a case of choosing happiness over anger we dont get to directly control which emotion we feel we have to try and legitimately generate a small amount of these emotions we have to put in some ground work to convince our inner chimp that these alternative emotions have just as much dopamine potential as frustration and anger  x200b  this is the sales pitch i use for my inner chimp  when a normal person tryies to help another normal person they ask themselves what help would i need if i was experiencing this problem   this strategy has worked for them 99 of the time because most people are neurotypical just like them  its important to realise that what youre seeing manifest as terrible advice originates from a genuine desire to help this means as uninformed and stupid as they are they are on your side they are an ally and they care  openly acknowledging the caring that exists behind the advice accepting them as part your team paves the way to getting better advice in the future whereas  frustration actively discourages improvement and may ultimately stop the help altogether  feeling gratitude instead of anger is a long term dopamine investment it creates an environment permissive to getting better help next time they dont understand how to help you yet  water that plant with gratitude and kindness  x200b  peace