the fact that i literally just had a conversation with my mother about something related to this  she never understood why i was always incapable of getting my work done and because she has seen me simply put it off so many times as a manifestation of my adhd symptoms she always assumed that i was just taking too many breaks i finally talked to her yesterday about how when she sees me not doing workmindlessly browsing the web on my phone that these do not feel like normal breaks i had grown accustomed to a horrible cycle where i assumed that i could not do any of the hobbies i enjoyed because those were “breaks” and i already took “too many” according to her and thus felt too dejected or depressed to do the work i was actually supposed to be doing  when you feel like you can’t re-energize yourself through your creative outlets so you don’t do them and then don’t have the energy to do your work you become stuck in a state of paralysis that makes you unable to do anything else i was never taking breaks but i was filled to the brim with anxiety andor guilt over even thinking to ask for some time for myself it’s a horrible cycle i can’t tell you how freeing it felt for her to finally say to me “i never knew that you were actually scared to take breaks”  she never knew because i never told her because i was too scared to so scared for so long that i put off even bringing it up for years here’s to moving forward though