for a moment when reading this i thought waait did i write this earlier and forget lol youre in my head yes yes and yes i still havent figured this out if in that moment i recognize and accept that disrespect is definitely happening i will not hesitate to lay that person out verbally of course if im physically transgressed no problems either i know how to defend myself but it has always been the emotional shit that is so hard for me to be assertive on  when i was a youngling in middle school i discovered that my friends and several other classmates had a hate group dedicated to me did wonders for the confidence let me tell you you can imagine what that did for my rejection dysphoria ive been a massive people pleaser since  even recently i had a work colleague storm out on me without a word while i was in a high anxiety state even though looking back i should have told myself that unless that person is willing to talk to me their beef is not my problem i still texted fretting cant we talk about this why are you so angry at me  its the low self-esteem and confidence coupled with anxiety that holds me back from expecting more for myself and i am oh so good at second guessing once the storm in my mind calms i can see things for what they were usually and then yep im outraged at them and especially myself for letting myself be trampled on im working on it but thats such a hard one