literally tried to explain this to my mother yesterday after i told her i was diagnosed as an adult but i dont think it translated to her i was a star student so anything i couldnt do was from lack of effort  what she didnt know was that i lived on anxiety adrenaline and a pretty good memory that and the crushing expectation to be perfect and normal so hiding my struggles became my reality because otherwise it would destroy her perception that i was a perfect student  this effect gradually disappeared as the structure of school decreased and i was crashing and burning during college when a lot of independent work and self-imposed deadlines were needed  she still thinks its because i never learned to be disciplined and focused as a kid but it was not for lack of trying if i hadnt taught myself coping skills or used productivity tools or had access to medication very recent i would be a fucking disaster  at the end of the day to my parents i still seem like i dont try hard enough even though it probably takes me 5 times the effort to accomplish the same task an average person could easily do     edit thank you for the gold friend first time ever