it looks beautiful and you are so brave congrats  ive also had a very hard time with creativity ever since my ocd got a lot worse 10 years ago i love writing but i constantly re-think plots and get completely tangled in them brainstorming is more like a brain-hurricaning to me and nothing ever seems good enough  ive also had a hard time with the spontaneity and playful side of creating but sometimes it gets better and i really appreciate those moments