manning up is total bullshit i mean absolute fucking nonsense the idea is that real men bury their feelings instead of dealing with them all the real men i know that do that arent happy people they hide their hurt to avoid being judged theyre prone to lashes of anger and pettiness i would call manning up cowardice and i would call you seeking help as youre beginning to do now by posting the intelligent and brave thing to do  ive dealt with depression for many years something everyone with depression needs to understand is that its a mental disorder that warps your understanding of things around you and your perception of yourself when your mind tells you that youre a mistake that youre less valuable than everyone else that nobody really cares about you etc you need to recognize that those arent rational true thoughts theyre the way your brain is making you feel and you need to stay aware of the fact that those feelings arent true  depression doesnt care if you have a good home life it doesnt require bad circumstances if humans ever create a social utopia there will still be depression dont be hard on yourself for it instead practice some self care and work on seeing yourself fairly  you arent any less valuable than everyone else the unique challenges we deal with dont make us inferior just like how people that have physical impairments need medical help and tools to go about their day people with adhd need memorization tools accountability and oftentimes medicine struggling in a nt world doesnt make you less of a person it means you like millions of others need some help with certain things