ooh i feel this my adhd is quite severe lol but i was never diagnosed until adulthood in school especially high school i had the worst cycle of getting high enough grades to qualify for the gifted programs but once in the programs i had absolutely no capacity for the actual workload i enjoyed learning and wanted to do well heck thats why i wanted to be in the gifted classes in the first place but i felt so dumb bc for some reason i just couldnt do the work that my peers were having no trouble with at all  im still kind of dealing with that i really want to get a masters degree in philosophy because i love philosophy and want to learn about it and discuss it with expertise but i think about the actual rigor of post-grad degrees lol and you see my issue