it all makes so much more sense now i feel that i always have to be doing something and i i dont have something to focus on my hands will naturally come together and i will start twiddling my fingers  when i am working if i am not typing or using my mouse i have a pair of dice on my desk that i will always reach for to rotate in my left hand  i finally have more peoples experience to add to my own as i continue to explain adhd to my wife she is slowly putting the pieces together and making the connections but i still havent found a good way to communicate to her that sudden loud criticism makes me shut down