i am sitting and reading this thread in tears  at 44 i have just been prescribed a dose of ritalin to try i am back at school working on gathering prereqs for a masters degree  i have been overwhelmed unable to focus everything i am reading is resonating so much  all the things youve all said to yourselves i have been saying for quite some time to myself hating myself for not being able to get it together  i dont remember being like this when i was younger but i think maybe the fact that i was a musician and my 1st degree was in music really helped me to focus and i was able to get by without meds because it was more of a doing degree that and my grades were so good no one called me on my inattentiveness all i know is that as ive gotten older i have struggled so much more i always thought it was my crazy job or caring for a sick parent making it so i couldnt get organized couldnt pay my bills on time couldnt keep track of anything those factors are now gone and i am literally doing nothing but taking 2 courses online and i cant keep up and ive been sitting here berating myself for weeks about how hard its been to focus to read to write and whats wrong with me how will i handle a masters program if i cant even handle 2 part-time courses  im scared to try the meds but all of your stories are resonating so deeply with me