hey good news is you have adhd and have some reasoning for why you may be depressed i was diagnosed a year ago and before then my depression and anxiety was attributed by me to just being a mess of a human and comparatively a mutant to normal mentally balanced folk  so yeah i agree that the experience is quite debilitating and it feasts on negativity whilst also ensuring plenty of fuel is fed into that mental fire to ensure theres more to keep down about i see it is a foreign invader in some ways thats like an alien species or virus it wants to survive and thrive it feeds on negativity and depressive thoughts to grow its weapon is to mask itself in your mind so well that you believe the thoughts and dont even question their validity it makes you feel like you deserve to feel this way and thus ensuring its own survival and food supply ever seen that one documentary with david attenborough about the fungus that infects ants brains and effectively make it climb as high as it can up trees just so it can burst out the ant and spread spores far and wide  its like that in many ways minus the climbing and exploding part lol  edit link to the vid lol