i feel the same way righ now 25 couldnt graduate from first university take the exam again get into a english major from a good university in my country couldnt even pass the proficiency exam cant pass writing not enough time cant pass speaking nervous af i honestly dont know if its ok to try anymore my parents got divorced we have no money or a job my father is mentally disabled but no one in my family tries to accept it and always needs someone but i cant even manage my life let alone my fathers oh btw my uncle says i gotta get my shit together because nobody will help me anymore thanks uncle thats assuring ive been constantly in depression for about 4 years now pandemic didnt help it either i dont have the money for therapy or doctor and ive been thinking end it all for good at some point i think i wont do it as long as i have my mother and my sister but this existential pain is almost unbearable for me  i dont know what to do and i certainly dont want to be burden to anybody all ive left is struggling desperately and trying to keep myself sane enough to be accepted by society  tldr i feel you