this is a beautiful post and i sincerely hope some people take you up on the offer  its been six and almost three years since i had two people really close to me od on fentanyl and complications from years of drug abuse its been very hard and ive felt very lost but every time ive reached out to someone i felt better about some weird kind of survivors guilt   even if the storm inside beats us down telling us that nobody nobody gives a shit its wrong even people who you talk to casually have no idea whats going on with you unless you tell them and the internet is such a caustic place sometimes its hard to remember that a decent portion of the population isnt shitty and just want to be understood as much as we do the idea of getting rejected freezes me right up but more often than not people are willing to talk or even just listen sometimes thats all you need  i am not awake enough to make this into a coherent thing so stream of consciousness awaaaaaaaaay