wow yes thank you this is exactly how i feel which is why i hate public speaking i do not have the ability to speak off the top of my head i normally have to memorize my presentations in order to be able to form my ideas so others will understand meaning i write out everything i want to say and how i want to say it then practice it for hours it’s exhausting but it’s the only way i am certain people will understand what i want them to its so frustrating because i know the material well but am unable to reiterate it on the spot in an intelligent way sometimes even with hours of practice  which is why i could never be a teacher despite my love for learning when i’m nervous or overstimulated my mind goes blank   writing however i excel at i’m quite a good writer despite my grammarspelling errors because i can take my time and organize my thoughts rewording them as i needed i wish i could do that in real time i don’t even mind being in front of a crowd i honestly love talking but i simply cannot word what i want to say when all my brain is processing is the noisepeoples eyes on me my boss judging me