as someone who suffered tremendously awhile back with this im sorry for what you’re going through i had to take medical leave from school because i couldn’t even think about anything else for 6-8 months and this was the only ocd i’ve ever sought therapy for it’s horrible and the hardest part is that part of it is real know that you’re not alone and the thing that’s helped me is realizing that everyone makes mistakes some way worse than others but you can always become a better person  the only good that’s come from this for me is becoming much more empathetic towards people and less judgmental of them for me to judge someone for anything they’ve done knowing that i’ve done bad things too makes me feel ashamed even more so it’s helped me to understand people and acknowledge how anyone could result to anything given the proper environment we are all just doing what we can with what we have   this is corny but a phrase that has helped me a lot is we do the best we can with what we know and when we know better we do better -maya angelou