ive had issues with this all my life i have memories of laying in bed and crying when i was like 7 because someday my dog would die it still happens to me all the time when i see my parents just last night at dinner it was happening and 34 of the time i cant enjoy spending any time with my dad at all because my brain is going in circles about what will inevitably happen when he dies  when it gets really out of control all life feels pointless