oh my goodness i knew something was wrong when i was in elementary school my experiences didnt match up with my classmates i was upset more often and upset by things they never noticed or thought of i tried asking my mom for help and she told me to get over it because life isnt fair      i was called high maintenance a cry baby a hassle and other things by parents family members coaches and teachers i didnt want to be those things i wanted to be happy and bubbly thats my true self whenever i am free of ocd that is who i naturally am i love to laugh and i love to do everything in my power to bring laughter to everyone around me i knew that when i was little but i didnt know how to make that a reality that other people saw outside of what they liked to tell me i was      i remember so many times when i tried to say i wasnt crying when i was i didnt want to be crying i wanted to explain why i was upset i would try to calm myself and ask for help calming down a lot of the time when i was having a meltdown the more i explained myself the angrier adults seemed to be the angrier they got the worse i felt and the harder i cried it feels like im being strangled and squeezed in my full body when i have these meltdowns i would try to tell adults why i was freaking out and theyd just start yelling most of the time or say incredibly hurtful things to me ive just given up now      you dont want to understand me then stop asking me to explain you can go ahead and not understand until the end of time