my dad is the same way basically but he doesnt use the proper terminology he doesnt know im diagnosed just got it 25 yo f and he is the kind of person who thinks people need to be able to self-sooth work through their stuff with god and is a avid user of people in africa have it worse type phrases and its particularly sad because ive come to the belief that he probably has adhd too its sad because ive seen and experienced how tough my dad was on me and my brother also probably had adhd but never got an official diagnosis and how we navigated our childhood and he was even harder on himself if i had a dollar for every time my dad would be talking to himself and say way to go dumbass or  shows how much i actually care about it if i fucked up this bad etc im sure he learned this kind of coping with symptoms from growing up himself when he did and his parents and who knows what else  im not saying its right that your dad says that stuff it isnt and im not saying you have to be ok with it because you dont but when i read this i dont know why i just thought of my dad he just projected onto me what worked to get him through life he always came from a place of love and probably a little fear for us to not be as lazy or disorganized as he is i dont know your dad so i could just be way off the mark but maybe he is coming from a place of love i hope he is sometimes people try to help us or offer advice and they dont have the proper tools while i still want to slam my face into a wall when i hear someone say oh just ______ and you wont have that problem i try to tell myself they at least mean well most of the time anyway lol