as a man with adhd and a world that crumbled a while ago to still sort out in places i never knew that my worst and most painful experience of my life could be described so scientifically and factually i’ve been so unkind to myself because of feeling like i’m struggling differently from what felt like even most of my peers with adhd and at times others have had a hard time being kind too but maybe it’s me maybe its maybelline or maybe it’s the apocalypse cause fuck it dog 2020 ain’t done yet it’s only september anyway  i wish others weren’t also experiencing paralysis of the will but i’m so grateful for this post to learn it exists and that at least not by myself with what this can feel like at times which at least means someone somewhere has ideas for how to manage it   it’s hideous and for me much like having sleep paralysis but while also sleep walking living my life as a grown ass-man and also somehow making sure i’m doing the right thing when i’m able or my dad will be sad it can feel like having a nightmare while wide awake when the stars align and i never want them to do that again thank you for this though sincerely