in my opinion pull yourself up is useful when someones pridehubris is the salient issue a dressing down is great to help somebody move forward when theyre being a real shit outside of those problems is the worst advice you can give someone  people who say pull yourself up outside of that context are saying that when they want to feel magnanimous or distance themselves from feelings of responsibility for the results youre producingwithout actually doing anything it doesnt take any insight or details or psychology    heres my approach  -cooling helping the other person identifywork through their emotional frustration   -identifying the specific problem at this point in time   -refocusing the persons perspective to remind them that they can do this   -delineating reminding or otherwise conveying to them specific techniques to deal with this sort of problem    -gracefully seeing this issue as a practice run for larger problems and greater achievements  i immediately associate it with boomers and people who are thoughtless naturals at whatever theyre working on its the just try harder bro school of thought fuck you is a perfectly natural emotional response to this but it will make you look like an asshole