ehhh yeah i don’t even want to consider the quantity of time i’ve spent in this state not even going to go there i’m adding to that time right now   don’t know why it just seems so painful to do what you need to do right in this moment something about it feels insurmountable  i get sucked into learning stuff… that’s my escape learning comparing online research etc… it still feels like lost time but i dunno if it’s better or worse because i tell myself i’m at least learning something newa skill ‍