all of my hopes dreams and aspirations will never be fulfilled because of this i see all this talent that other people have and its terrible seeing a really drawing or watching my friend who is really good at playing snare drum just makes me so sad and angry at myself and im thinking about it constantly ive tried before but i can never keep up with anything im always too lazy not wanting to put the effort in to something which will be terrible anyway or im trying not to fail school not going well anyway either and i cant do anything i know that practice makes perfect but i just cant do it i hate the word practice with all of my being ive also got a really bad perfectionist kind of attitude where i will lose my mind if i cant do something absolutely perfect of course someone who just started drawing wont instantly be good but i cant get myself to understand this and ill be just completely defeated and on the floor crying if things arent going well for just a bit i cant get myself out of this mindset and  i feel like it is destroying me i just dont know what to do sorry for writing out like an entire rant this has been on my mind for years and especially in the last week