i’ve struggled trying to explain this exact thing to people i used to be chronically late when i was younger got punished for it regularly esp at school and “waiting mode” now i know a name for it haha was a coping mechanism i must have developed to avoid the guilt and consequences so now i don’t show up late to things but any outing that isn’t part of my daily routine schedule thanks to the pandemic that means any outing… ends up being the one thing i do that day and it’s exhausting  it’s one of those “quirks” that sounds silly to people who don’t realize how debilitating it can be to overall mental health especially when it’s a constant thing   there was a period a few years back during my unmedicated era where the latent stress that built up constantly being in ‘wait mode’ mentally broke me i was working a part time job with an erratic schedule and while i liked working opening shifts most of the time i had an afternoon shift and i felt like i could never get involved in anything beyond putting on old tv shows cleaning my living space and browsing the web on my phone from like 6am til 2pm i had a watch with ample gentle remindersalarms but that was mostly so i wouldn’t have to actively panic about being late for work if i couldn’t find my keys or we it was so bad that i sometimes didn’t have food to eat because i “didn’t have enough time” to go grocery shopping even though technically i should have had lots of time   and on my days off when i was expecting friends to come over i rarely knew exactly when they were coming and would deal with the same issue to make things worse they would sometimes cancel after i had been waiting for x number of hours and it would absolutely ruin my day i could never properly convey how badly that messed with me 6 months of this combined with a traumatic event and worsening physical health and i had a full breakdown quit my job and became a social hermit for a long while until i was finally able to get adhd treatment  i still have problems with “waiting mode” when i have the odd appointment or errand later in the day i work independently at home now and set my own hours and therefore days off which is nice and i can bring my work or entertainment wme wherever i go which is great for appointments where i’m mostly sitting and waiting but i still get way less done than i normally would but even with medication i don’t think i could hold another part time job with random hours like before… i can happily work 60 hours a week but 30 hours of afternoon shift could turn me into an inpatient