every time any health issue crops up i assume it’s my fault a moral failing that caused my knees to have issues “i shouldn’t have sat around all weekend” or my vision to need bifocals “if i’d just try harder i could focus my eyes properly it’s my fault” every time still and if i actually try to get it taken care of i berate myself for whining and making a big stink it’s just ridiculous at this point   and then i berate myself for berating myself ugh