for someone who obsesses constantly about every tiny mistake ive ever made to the point where i convince myself that im secretly a monster and start to question my own memories this is a good reminder its just so distorting when theres some kind of misunderstanding i hurt someone elses feelings or come off as rude and i only realize it later or something its like a broken record in my head and i remember it so often and so intensely that i fuck up the details and it becomes hard to tell if im remembering what really happened or just a version of what happened thats been distorted by obsession like how when you repeat a word so often that it doesnt even sound like a word and it no longer holds any meaning and theres the idea that i really am a bad person what if some part of me really did have malicious intent what if some part of me enjoyed it over and over and over until i convince myself that im secretly evil incarnate idk if it comes out like that for anybody else but it definitely does in part at least