same here im sorry we deal with it it sucks   my bad thing is i counteract the fear with obsessively thinking about how to cancel the people that could cancel me doesnt help me because in the end no matter how much my brain lies i did nothing to be canceled for- and then i end up triggering myself because they did traumatic things to me that they could be canceled for but theres no way for me to do so and get away cleanly the anxiety spins forever onward  im sorry i dont have good advice but you are not alone in the feeling