since getting on meds ive found myself surprised by how often im able to recall something remembering where i lost saw something or where i sat something down remember steps in math or the name of a specific resource its stuff that i thought was literally impossible despite how trivial it seemed remembering stuff i thought id either forgotten completely or not learned properly in the first place is _wild_ to me  there were so many times that i was frustrated and felt hopeless because no amount of studying would make a difference id get so angry that id spend hours stewing anxiety building in my chest super close to tears because it felt like i had to relearn _everything_ any time i took a break  binge reading something and not recalling a goddamn thing about it ive read entire series of books that i recall _nothing_ about in fact the only reason i remember so much about harry potter was because i went through a fanfic phase and damn-near lived in that world  im still not quite _there_ yet but its the first time in my life that i feel like i can put this stuff to use its the first time i feel like im close to getting where i want to be and its kind of frustrating to just _wait_