not that i dont want to i know doing it will lead to a positive outcome both in having the thing done and my own emotions going from stress to relief and other positive changes its that i cant no matter how much i push myself and in many cases pushing makes me want to even less i just cannot get my body to follow orders right now im lazed in bed waiting for the motivation to get out the impending morning urination ritual making me uncomfortable just laying here but the soft pillows and gentle cotton wrapped around me keeping me hostage of my own mind