ive felt the same way my analogy was that i didnt get lucky when they were passing out brains or a bunch of other parts like eyes nose legs its feels a lot like im underdeveloped or less than whole as if a crucial stage of growth was skipped over seeing other people just do the things they do effortlessly like focus and be happy was the worst i didnt know if i missed something crucial or if i had consciously chosen to screw up and if it could be remedied through simple decisions of the mind in hindsight self hatred was pretty inevitable