i have my whole life it started when i was a toddler and i vividly remember washing my hands very frequently out of fear i thought that germs would kill my family and i would live out the grief of everyone suffering and dying in my family from the germs before anything even happened i still get this from time to time but now its very valid my dad is really sick andheres a good chance he could die its fucking me up all of my usual ocd torture has doubled and its getting so tough