first time poster joined because of this thread im still on a waiting list for my evaluation so i dont have the diagnosis but this thread has struck a chord ive never been able to read more than max 30  of the curriculum 15 minutes into sitting down in the study hall to read i just wanted to pull out my hair strands one by one felt like a fox in a cage still managed to be top 5 of my field for my masters by writing senseless amounts of notes during lectures so i could focus and discussing and having a great memory feel like a fraud that doesnt deserve the grades like those grades should go to people who do it properly lecturers wanted me to continue to a phd but i knew that would destroy me  how can i not be able to read a curriculum when i can munch an entire 300 page novel in one evening that makes no sense   im so capable when i am in a flow very efficient and create super quality stuff also very rapidly learn new stuff so i always have a flying start at new jobs and then after some months the novelty wears off i get exhausted of keeping that high standard and im stuck cycling between energy bursts and trying to hide the fact that i spend more time playing games than doing actual work at work what am i 13 year old actually im a 39 year old project manager  i simultaneously feel that im  i not having adhd because i cant relate to everyone in this thread and i always did well in school as a child never any if only you applied yourself more i floated great in school until i was about 17 when we started having to read so much more its probably not adhd just my c-ptsd which i do have ii probably have adhd because my husband constantly needs to rein me in from stray thought sentence number 3 to make me pleeease finish the first sentence poor guy lol if i need to go somewhere i either go there 2 hours later than my initial plan or i need to have zero slack in my schedule so im forced to stay on a very tight track with not one minute available for sidetracking when my energy is low i have zero self constraint and play mobile games until the middle of the night even though im tired  iii terrified of having adhd because then i feel like im doomed  iv terrified of not having adhd because that would mean its just me being an idiot adult with the behavior of a not particularly well behaved child   phew lol