this is exactly what i go through its because i have a particular kind of contamination ocd where the fear isnt that ill get some kind of disease but that contamination is a moral failure and i should feel guilty for being disgusting so i cant exactly wait around for the consequences to not happen like i could if i was only afraid of getting sick and waiting around for the bad thoughts to stop doesnt work either because they come from a core self-hatred that wont go away just because i wait a while