thats gotten so much harder with the pandemic especially now that its freezing cold where i live and i cant do anything outside during the day  i cant do any of the things that would normally bring me joy so its hard to feel satisfied when im in bed at the end of the day i just keep chasing an impossible high looking at travel and nature pictures trying to remember when life was fun you know when i used to sleep the best when i was traveling id look back at my day  and think why even look at my phone right now my day was perfect  and nothing i could do on my phone is going to add to that man i miss that