thank you so much for this post i also have both autism and adhd and i have been really discouraged by the rhetoric ive seen from communities relating to autism people on those subreddits can often act like autism is just a different way of thinking and theres no need for therapies or research into autism related issues ive seen many say that the only thing people with autism need is acceptance and that its not people with autism that need to change but society honestly this perspective itself is pretty ableist in my opinion because it leaves out the 30 or so people with autism who are nonverbal or have an intellectual disability and need real help  personally my autism is very mild but throughout my life there are still several behaviors i have had to modify not just because they were socially unacceptable but because they were downright creepy i am very proud of how far ive come over the years and i dont see my autism as my whole identity but as a part of my identity that i have had to overcome in order to succeed and to connect with people thats why personally i prefer person-first language even though its very unpopular in those subs visiting those subreddits made me feel like i was wrong that i shouldnt be proud of the progress i made and that not only do i not fit in with those who are neurotypical but i do not fit in with those who have autism either  ive enjoyed following this subreddit since my diagnosis of adhd-pi because i actually see people talking about the challenges they face and strategies to help deal with those challenges not only that but i see people being supportive of others no matter their perspective