ive checked myself against various measurements and im not exceptional im just above average  but man am i good at using deadlines for homeworks and projects to get them done and learn the material at the same time so i can do well on a midterm wihout the structure of professor assigned homeworks im totally fucked i dont know how to study shit i dont know without you handing me a problem set where i can slowly figure out the shit i dont know a junior in college and i shouldnt be floating but i am  ah and also i overload myself on work so ill have an excuse too busy to never be the top of the class smart because of my careless mistakes in everything i do but maybe its sleep deprivation during the school year too and poor life skills cause i dont eat and sleep right and i also plan to off myself when i get tired of it all but hey not for a while at least seriously im mostly optimistic doing decently in everything on holiday break and saying shit like that i got brain damage i swear thats why im here