i’m a christian and it’s difficult but i think i need to admit that prayer is now a compulsion for me i wish i could say i pray all the time on my own free will but i’m not so sure anytime i encounter something my brain seems “bad” or i hear about something happening to someone else i have to pray about it or else my brain tells me that it will happen to me or more people sometimes there’s a little extra spice when my brain is like “and now wait that’s not enough you need a hail mary too and then you’re good” kind of exhausting  especially when i’m in a social situation and i just go blank for a little while i sort out my head and in addition a simple sign of the cross and “amen” is not enough for me to end a prayer i need to time the motions so that they are not on beat of whatever i’m hearing whether that be in between the seconds ticking on a clock or the beat to music etc and then if feels like it takes forever to get my hand clasp at the end “just right”