i have a similar story from my first day on meds it felt like those youtube videos when color blind people get their first pair of color correcting glasses      i cried because for the first time since i was 7 i felt what nts must feel all the time it was like all my life since that age i was stuck unable to resolve the 4th stage of erik eriksons model of psychosocial development industry vs inferiority      you all know what i am talking about the grief over what you cant that you carry like a millstone it grows heavier and heavier with each passing year each accumulated failure and abandoned dream the way it changes what you believe about yourself      the first day i had my adderall i had a huge paperwork project i was going to try and tackle i brought all of those papers receipts files etc with me in a big backpack and went to a cafe with my so i started to whiz through the things i intended to do my brain was doing what i told it to do i just had to try and the trying finally worked the try button in my head that never ever lit up when i pressed it after all these years lit up this is what it feels like for nts when they try it just works i wept openly in the cafe and my so was very misty too