i relate to this so much but especially to the messiness and noise i love my husband he is really amazing he is not obsessed with cleanliness like i am i have to rewash dishes sometimes because i see that one spec that didnt get cleaned so the whole thing is filthy i wash my hands often because the texture of grime and oils that builds up is so disgusting it makes me anxious something that helps me when everything is just too much and nothing is the way it should be is i go sit in the dark and take deep breaths then i take a shower or exercise then i limit what i am allowed to clean what is the most anxiety inducing in this moment and i do the best i can to resolve it then i try and move on to the other things in my life that need to be addressed it helps me be more calm and forgiving about the way things are