as someone with adhd i have also been just as mean to family members that also have it but their main issue is they deny they have it and refuse treatment so they have all the symptoms and dont even realize theres an issue like with not listening ive just given up and dont try to have conversations with them   youre likely in your head because youre trying to get control of the vehicle your body thats progress theres nothing worse than an adhd person that has never went inside their head and is oblivious to the dysfunction   but i agree the goal is to eventually get back outsideof your head you go in there to fix things but dont get stuck eventually use the knowledge gained to change the physical world