the real problem with intrusive thoughts is that they scare or upset you  i am was suffering from suicidal thoughts the weird thing is the more you learn to accept these thoughts the more you see cause and effect  my suicidal thoughts come from a deep sense of shame and another problem is that our society deals with these usually by oppressing them thats why you feel you want to run away or erase these thoughts  by learning to allow them without you trying to control them automatically will cause you to see the reason behind them  obviously its quite challenging to learn and you should always respect your own limitations so feel free to quit and start again however much you want  its also good to build in a few basic fysical things in your day that make you feel good for me its a hot shower every morning after being online for an hour then later perhaps a short walk  some basic household work can also work these things can get you in a meditative zone  also i am not at all a good technical guitarist but i can get a deep sense of peace sometimes from it something about the body of the guitar against my stomach and feeling the vibrations i just play some soft peacefull tunes or some bluesygrungy stuff depending on mood  very important when you wanna do something creative do not try to be succesful at it it kills creativity and defeats the purpose the feeling that the result doesnt matter creates freedom in your brain and the result will likely inspire a sense of love or peace  i have a yt channel which is completely private on which i about 15 short vids of gitar playing i recorded in the past years sometimes i get a little tipsy and play em on my tv it always gives me a unique feeling because as time goes on you really look at yourselfthings you did in the past with more love respect and grace  sort of like looking at a project you did when you were young and sort of feeling more positive about it than you did in the past when you were being too hard on yourself just like we all are doing now  the present quickly fills up with worry and makes us sick in the head and were more likely to mis the beauty of things  also dont underestimate the power of a hug we all know that though but we dont know that this hug can happen on a psychological level by yourself and be just as good if not more fantasising about positive things happening to youto you life can also be good for mental health