this is me remedied with amphetamines and exercise i have been trying to meditate on the idea that my life both day to day and long term just moves slower and that’s ok i purposely only enrolled in half the amount of classes that nt’s would be taking i have accepted that my education goals will take twice or more as long as nt’s to accomplish i understand assignments will take me twice or more as long for me to accomplish my whole day- to- day goes slower i feel like a galapagos giant turtle or like i am trying to walk through water  i try to remember what’s the damn rush if i want to do a certain job or retire or buy a house which in this day and age is a joke i’ll eventually get there i do my best to meet the deadlines i must but being exhausted fighting myself living every day hating the way i am wired i eventually just surrendered to the time- drag that my brain exists in and try to focus on the quality instead of the quantity of my experiences wouldn’t it be trippy if someday researchers find that we do really experience like quantum spacetime fields differently and the root of our struggles is that we are being unfairly subjected to the wrong time constructs