weird relief from reading your post yes i do i remember being in the pool with my mom when i was maybe 910ish and just wanting to sob my eyes out because i was so happy in that moment but my mind kept on going “one day your family will die” it’s so tiring and so frustrating when i look at pictures or songs as you said i feel exactly what you described i know it’s not much but what helps me is weirdly enough thinking that i can’t control the future and i can’t keep living in fear everyone dies one day so i will try and not worry about it always pushing the thoughts away it took some years to become an “easy” task