i remember being in grade school and having these horrible and embarrassing thoughts like darker than any 8 year old should ever have i was super afraid because i thought if i told someone about them theyd get rid of me a threat often used by my family  i was in 5th or 6th grade and i finally told my mom that something just seemed wrong with me  during this time she was in university and studying about mental health i thought shed get it she didnt   she flipped out and yelled at me said my mind was disgusting and that i should be ashamed of myself she also said that she didnt raise me to be like this  i felt deep guilt and embarrassment and it took me nearly 15 years before i finally was able to start getting the help i needed but i kept it a secret for another few years  when i finally told my friends and family they laughed and pointed out the fact that my room was always messy and therefore im a hypochondriac looking for attention  i have been very vocal ever since trying to spread awareness i just want people to understand there is so much more to this than the media portrays and i hate the media for giving us this reputation