i dont have adhd im here because my partner does but i was in therapy for a different kind of executive disfunction and often feel what you describe especially as it relates to college my therapist told me that were always trying our best even when we fail to do what we want we are doing the best we can with the resources and information we currently have if we go too hard in on i should have done better i should have been able to do this we can hurt and drain ourselves so i hope you can show yourself compassion in these moments and try to believe you did what you could