omg tell her because so often this is what causes strife in my home and im like ive worked on it for hours - i am trying really hard but sometimes that falls on deaf ears and frustration erupts causing us all to feel shitty  i bet most of her life she has suffered this very reaction from everyone else more often than not and it really takes its toll  if my partner was talking about me like this id probably cry a little- internally stuff upper lip yknow