shit this is relatable as hell man i think about my life and i feel like literally anyone else with my life and opportunities would make so much more of them anybody else would be able to get their school work done on time hell anyone else wouldve had their degree finished already instead of going back to school at 30   yet here i am struggling to do an assignment in two days that i know i could do in a few hours if i could just make myself actually focus on it i dont have insurance or money to be able to try medication but without it i feel like im drowning   i try to self medicate with caffeine and it helps sometimes but my very mormon grandfather in law whom i live with gives me shit for being addicted to caffeine every time he sees me come home with any   and when i think about the future i feel so overwhelmed wondering how much longer ill have to struggle like this will it be better when i finish my degree and get a decent job and can afford medication will i ever actually get a decent job will i be able to emotionally handle children when im finally financially stable enough to have them   some days i feel perfectly confident that things will be just fine no matter what and other days the very though of looking for a job after college feels like an insurmountable task its a roller coaster  thank god for my wife shes the only thing that keeps me same most days