this hits home so often im just staring in dismay at my own failures for so long that when shit is solved the only thing i can do is stare at my next failure   the best thing you can do is to enjoy the moments of clarity and and this is the hardest find a way to get some backup for the moments you lose control and freeze someone who checks up without intruding in your bushiness someone who can keep you on your toes without taking away your responsibilities and autonomy just someone who from time to time asks hey did you think about x or something comparable and thats that its far from perfect and sometimes the question itself can cause some of those dreaded moments but sharing is caring is you have someone you can trust to keep you on your toes it may be helpful   you can do it