i fucking despise this compulsion it’s gotten to a point where i get anxiety attacks every time i have to do public speaking or present something to a group of people on my worst days i even get anxious talking one-on-one to a black person which probably makes me look like i’m anxious to be around them and in turn makes me feel even more like a racist piece of shit i feel like i have to suppress some racist bigoted asshole inside my mind every time i interact with someone my thoughts disgust and scare me so much i’m sorry i’m venting like this on a meme it’s just that i had a breakdown over this exact thing last night and this struck a chord with me i hate it so much