my problem is that i thought of things multiple times in the past towards someone i love whenever i got angry at them so it’s genuinely so horrible i can’t see myself ever living a normal life knowing what i thought of the people i love and the possibility that i wanted to act out those thought when i was angry i’m sure you know what i mean by now even saying this in a comment makes me want to turn myself into the police or straight up kll myself and just get it over with get rid of the scum i am idk how to live anymore knowing i thought these things in the past idk how to be with myself and not absolutely hate the piece of shit i am and not think getting rid of myself is the right choice