sounds like emotional abuse from a freaking sexist or otherwise rape or victim blaming mentality  this literally sounds like my freaking mom and the epiphanies ive been having lately on my youtube channel and a little bit on my blog for anybody who wants to see me try to explain what i mean  but its basically like being demeaned for trying to acknowledge somebody who is asking for your attention its like being demeaned for trying to respect somebody who was really only ever asking you to compromise your own self-respect because you fell for the trap of being manipulated into believing that they and their evil tricks whether subconscious or otherwise were ever actually worth your attention  its an intriguing paradox ill have to try to elaborate more on this later  it feels like my mom saying if my argument wasnt valid then why did you validate it by giving it your attention as if purely dignifying something with a response is an appropriate conclusion to have made  its like the emotional abuse of having ever tried to love somebody who was only ever just trying to make you stoop down to their level  just so they could say see i told you we were unlovable  ocd sounds like the result of narcissistic or otherwise emotional neglect and abuse gaslighting and in my case i know that it is ocd can be reversed ocd can be curable because ocd to me sounds an awful lot like never having fully came to terms with who it was that your abuser actually really is  3 3 3 3 3 3 3  edit- this is my channel for anyone who might actually be interested  i would love to hear from you i would love to know what you think  3 3 3 3 3 3 3