that we aren’t trying to be rude  this hits so hard i have absolutely no sense of tact and constantly get in trouble for being argumentative snippy or needing to watch your tone and whenever i tell them im trying they say no youre not how tf am i supposed to look for or tone down something that isnt and has never been a conscious effort and which i cant tell when its happening no matter how hard i try i cant pore over and censor every sentence for an hour before i say it or id never get any words out  and sometimes ironically im the person being told im gaslighting i get that memory-blanks thing and it takes me half a conversation to remember important details but in the meantime my idiot brain will swear up-and-down that said detail never existed making my parents mad at me its understandable for them to see it as manipulation but i swear to god id never try to do that to them this is legitimately how i remember things for some stupid goddamn reason thats messing up my life