oh man those takeaways  i was thinking in the shower the other day about why i find it impossible to ask for help what i settled on was that it seems like every time i actually do ask for help the help doesnt work which then gets turned back on me and rather than having a problem i become the problem thats painful so i simply dont ask for help and resign myself to the consequences of my disability  it feels like i have two choices dont ask for help fail and live with the shame of failure or ask for help fail anyway and live with the shame of failure multiplied by the shame of being impossible to help