my ocd actually completely started as hocd without physical compulsions or obsessions at the time it was purely mental and i was 100 i was gay and going to hell or something lmfao i grew out of that and ive never had symptoms of it since which is so weird because i remember the feelings so drastically from back then so to feel so sure of my sexuality now is very odd id do anything to go back to it though because now i suffer with health ocd i can convince myself im not going to hurt someone or a kid even if temporarily and i can convince myself of my sexuality but i can not under any circumstances convince myself that every action i take doesnt determine whether i will end up developing a chronic debilitating illness in that very second intrusive thoughts of suffering through horrible pain at different parts of my body and like everything else ugh