

Oh, that's not so bad. Every time I try to change the oil, I forget to
shut off the engine first. The hot oil comes out and scalds me, blinds
me, then the engine starts to overheat, and while I'm screaming in agony
and trying to crawl out from under the car, I grab the red hot exhaust
pipe and get third degree burns on my hands. My screams intensify as I
finally emerge from under the car, and I struggle to my feet in front of
the car, whereupon the radiator hose ruptures and sprays me with super
heated coolant. Then the engine seizes, but not before the cylinder head
explodes, piercing my flesh with fragments of red hot iron.

This happens every time. I'm starting to think I should pay the mechanic
$25 instead paying the hospital $250,000 and the dealer $25,000 for a new
car. This gets costly when you change the oil every 3000 miles.