Please respond, and not defensively, here.  No sane person would look at what you do, day and night, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year and not conclude that you need a massive intervention.  I have to think you are a very lonely, unhappy person, so no one probably knows of the depth of your sickness.  So it falls to a stranger like me, I guess.  You are so engrossed that I can't envision you just admitting what has become of you, but I am willing to start to introduce you to reality.  Let's start with this question:  How many hours of your short life have your poured into this wasted foolishness at the expense of actually living a life?