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Reply to  request: As an editor (which you are) you are encouraged to be bold and fix it yourself.  You should feel free to choose the phrasing you feel is best, and don't be too surprised if another editor later makes changes. That is the nature of a collaboratively edited encyclopedia.  If you want to gain the consensus of other editors, it is better to ask this sort of question on the article's talk page rather than on a User talk page.  You will get the attention of more interested parties there. —    (Talk)  (Contrib)  — "