<https://finheaven.com/threads/20-reasons-why-the-league-fans-thinks-well-go-less-then-500-in-2005.67426/>
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"Now I know I know....I don't want to hear any crap about how I'm mean, ill spirited, have destructive tendencies, or how anything below may be taken \"offensively\" or anything else.  This is merely a jest at why the league and other fans are running around saying we're going to suck next year just b/c we did last year.  In order for us to \"suck\" this is my list of 20 things (comprable to last year) that would need to take place.....which I SERIOUSLY don't think will happen.  So have a chuckle and remind yourselves that we weren't really as bad as our \"4-12 record\" of last year indicates and take heart that our season will be much better in 2005....barring ALL of the below.\r\n\r\n==================================================\r\n\r\n\r\n1.  Ronnie will quit 2 weeks before the season starts to go smoke weed with Ricky in India.\r\n\r\n2.  Chambers will blow out a knee one week before the season starts.\r\n\r\n3.  Timbo will fall off a ladder and be out for the season (i know...wrong bowes historically) but still \"funny\" for lack of a better word.\r\n\r\n4.  Chester will be out for the season b/c of back pain.\r\n\r\n5.  Holiday and Carter will get injured in pre-season and be out 1/2 the season.\r\n\r\n6.  Feeley and Gus will switch starting every other game.\r\n\r\n7.  Morris will get injured in week 1 for 2 months out.\r\n\r\n8.  Gordon will get injured in week 2 for 2 months out.\r\n\r\n9.  Minor will get injured in week 3 for 2 months out.\r\n\r\n10.  We will resign Forsey to be our RB for a couple of months.\r\n\r\n11.  We will resign Boston to be a WR when CC gets injured one week before the season starts (see above)....only to be able to play 1/2 the season due to hitting his caddy when playing golf and having to due some 'time'.\r\n\r\n12.  Zach will pull a hamstring....twice and be out basically all season (his turn since Seau tore his pec last season...have to be fair).\r\n\r\n13.  Whoever ends up being our starting FB will get a staph infection and be out a month just to be re-injured and barely play.\r\n\r\n14.  Smith will start off at LT only to be injured and have Carey take his spot.\r\n\r\n15.  Mare will get injured and be out 2 months.\r\n\r\n16.  Four hurricanes will wreak havoc on S. FL in 1 month (Sept).\r\n\r\n17.  We're installing a new offensive and defensive schemes.\r\n\r\n18.  Marino will be rehired just to quit again.\r\n\r\n19.  Linehan will step down as OC before the season starts.\r\n\r\nand last but not least....\r\n\r\n20.  Saban will quit in Week 9 due to the team's misfortunes and for being yelled at by the media and fans for the team's horrible performance!"
<https://finheaven.com/threads/20-reasons-why-the-league-fans-thinks-well-go-less-then-500-in-2005.67426/>