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"I used to have a friend. Then I lent him money.    &nbsp;    I didn't think twice about it. After all, I had known him for more than 10 years – he was like a brother to me. I knew his entire family, had spent holidays with his parents, and even dated his brother for a few years.    &nbsp;    Start Managing Your Finances — Download This Personal Finance App &gt;&gt;    &nbsp;    Then I lent him $250 so that he could rent a machine and deliver a product to his customers on time. We saw each other at least twice a week before this transaction, but after I gave him the money, he performed a vanishing act.    Friends Split Money Fairly    I asked twice for my money back, got fed lies and promises, decided I wouldn't ask anymore; it was his responsibility to pay if he was a man of his word.  &nbsp;    I remember a line from The City of the Beasts by Chilean-American writer, Isabel Allende: \"If you lend money and never see the person again, that's money well spent.\"  &nbsp;    I have gotten away from people because I was always the one inviting them for dinner. Or because they wanted to go out all the time to expensive places and I had other financial priorities.    &nbsp;  Friends Do Potlucks  &nbsp;    My closest friends are a group who I have a great money relationship with. We usually meet at someone's place, that person will have snacks and drinks ready, but everyone will bring something. Or if we stay for a few days, we will take our hosts out for an evening, as well as refill their fridge. We rotate hosts to make it fair for everyone.    &nbsp;    This App Makes Managing Your Finances Easy — Start Budgeting Today &gt;&gt;    &nbsp;    We all have simple tastes, so even if the other two couples make way more than I do, I happily put in my fair share. Our sixth friend is pretty broke – not due to reckless spending, but to a low-paying job – so we generally sponsor her. Or when we pitch in for groceries, putting in $50 each, she puts in $20, and we don't say a thing because we know that's what she can afford. We are happy to invite her because she is a caring, supportive, and helpful friend.    &nbsp;    If we go on a holiday together and I had paid for the hotel, they won't let me pay for meals the rest of the week. If we decide to do an expensive activity, like kayaking, I will refund the one who paid for my share. We all know instinctively what everyone has put in, and balance it out, without having to crunch numbers.    &nbsp;  That Awkward Dinner Check  &nbsp;    In my teen years, I was resentful of people when I would try to raise $100 for a friend’s birthday gift, and 10 people would pledge $10 each, then I would buy the gift and only have seven pay up. But of course, all 10 friends would turn up, standing around the birthday cake, getting credit for the gift.  &nbsp;    I am sure you’ve been there – at that dinner where you only ate an appetizer, and drank water all night while your friends were going through bottles of wine like the world was coming to an end.  &nbsp;    When the bill came, everyone said, “Let’s split in eight,” and you ended up paying as though you had a feast. Or rounding up to cover for the ones who did have a full meal, but didn’t account for the tax and tips. I avoid big group dinners for that reason.    &nbsp;    Start Managing Your Finances — Download This Personal Finance App &gt;&gt;    &nbsp;    I remember one weekend when we were all at a friend’s house for a two-day weekend. The ticket to get there cost $100-plus. My friend, as a good host, had planned activities for the whole weekend, including sailing and horseback riding.    &nbsp;    I travel a lot, so sailing where she lives had no appeal to me. But staying on the beach while everyone was having fun wasn’t pleasant either. That said, I wasn’t about to spend the amount I normally do during a full day of international travel on a two-hour boat ride.    &nbsp;  Staying True To Yourself  &nbsp;    It is a tricky balance between making everyone happy and staying true to your financial beliefs. I don’t mind being the \"cheap,\" \"not fun\" one because my goals are set in the long term.    &nbsp;    Friends in college used to tease me about my cheap ways. But since then, a few of them have come back to me, saying, “You know what? I wish I had your wisdom when I was 20 years old. Now I am paying off credit cards for things I don’t even remember enjoying.” Don’t give into peer pressure. Your real friends will stick around no matter what."
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