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"\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\n\"Aren't you tired of plastic surgeons who tell you to 'slow down' or 'think about what you're doing?'\" So opens a commercial for Cut 2 the Chase, an imaginary practice that offers \"apocalyptic\" plastic surgery for women, featured on last night's Inside Amy Schumer. (30 Rock's Scott Adsit plays the head surgeon, Dr. Ron.) It was one in a handful of top-shelf Schumer sketches (she calls the episode her \"favorite\" to date): Schumer gets a voiceover role, only it's for \"Dumpy the frumpy meerkat,\" a cartoon character too overweight for pants; she and a friend with nut allergies (played by Parker Posey) Extreme Order dinner until their heads literally explode; and Schumer has sex with a magician. Cosmopolitan.com spoke to Schumer over the phone last week to get her take on plastic surgery, Cosmo sex tips, and what's up with her movie Trainwreck, which she starts shooting in just a few weeks with director Judd Apatow. \n\nDo you think plastic surgery is a bad thing? Or is just extreme plastic surgery a bad thing? I don't judge anybody for having plastic surgery at all. I think the industry surrounding it and the drive to do it and how it seems like usually it's never enough \u2014 I think that's bad. I don't think it's great for people.And it doesn't even look good. Which you get at in the skit: \"Would you like to look like a human-cat hybrid who eats bees?\" Yeah, and I mean, that's an insane description but it does, from my point of view, make sense. It's like, what's the end-game here? It's not making fun of people who have had plastic surgery but it is saying, \"Maybe give it another thought.\" It must come from body dysmorphia, which you also get at.  Oh, absolutely. And face dysmorphia. It's an industry that preys on insecurities and quick fixes and impulsive buys, and then you do something and then it's too late.Slate's TV critic called your show \"sneakily feminist.\" I don't know if you saw that or if that's how you see yourself \u2014 is it how you see yourself? It wouldn't be that sneaky for me to just answer, but I would say, \"Yes.\" And it's funny, because I thought I was way sneakier than I guess I am, because me and Jessi Klein, the head writer, we really thought, \"Oh, we'll just sneak in these feminist undertones.\" But I guess they weren't undertones like we thought they were, because it's all pretty clear what we're saying .Parker Posey was in the episode last night, and she was great, of course. I just love her. I shot a movie with her a couple of years ago called Price Check, and we became friends when we filmed that movie. I so worship her that it feels weird to be friends with her. It was a hard transition period, like,  \"Stop thinking about the fact that this is Parker Posey.\" I just love everything she does.The sketch reminded me of another one this season, where you're at lunch with a bunch of women, talking about what you've eaten and how \"bad\" you've been. Oh, because it ends in such an extreme way?Yeah. In that one you guys eat the waiter's face off, in this one your heads explodes. Also, they're both about how women behave at dinner tables. Yeah, I would say in \"I'm so bad,\" I am pointing out what I think to be a very female behavior \u2014 it's something that I've noticed in myself and my female friends more than the guys I'm friends with. But the allergy  \u2014 somebody needing to order a certain way because they have an allergy and making it very dramatic \u2014 I would say I don't really know women in my life with allergies. I have five guys that I'm really close to who have severe allergies. More than five! It's all the guys. So it is two women in that scene but that wasn't to point out a female behavior. It's just people with allergies in general and seeing these men that I'm friends with order. They have to be really serious about it because they will have to go to the hospital, but it's still funny to watch.\n\tAdvertisement - Continue Reading Below\n\t\n\nYou start shooting Trainwreck soon. Three weeks.Are you getting nervous? I'm excited. I'm the kind of person who \u2014 it doesn't start for three weeks, but I like to have my lines memorized back and forth, and we keep changing the scripts and things, so it's like, until I'm completely prepared I won't feel at ease. But I'm so excited. I have a feeling it's going to be really fun.Are you and Judd emailing each other at like 3 in the morning with random thoughts? I think we're both older than that. We're both like elderly people. It's more like 10 at night and I'm like, \"Oh, he's up late.\" But we email throughout the day. And I'm in L.A. right now because we go into the Judd Apatow offices every day and work together.What can you tell me about Bill Hader's character in the movie? He's my love interest.\n\nAre you together or broken up? We are together. Well, we meet and then we're together and then, you know, trouble ensues.He's sexy. Yeah, Hader's totally \u2014 he's a good-looking man.And Ezra Miller and Tilda Swinton are also in it \u2014 Isn't it amazing? I was like, \"Wait, is it a reunion of We Need To Talk about Kevin?\"What are they going to play? Tilda plays my boss and Ezra plays an intern at the office.He's not related to her? No, they're not related.What does your character do? She is a writer at a men's magazine. Does she have to write sex tips for men? Yeah, she has to write all that stuff.Did you have to read a lot of men's magazines to write the script? I read a lot of magazines anyway, but I have paid extra-special, close care to all the men's magazines lately.Speaking of men: At the end of this episode you and three of your guy comedian friends hang out. It came up that male comics get laid for being comics, but female comics don't. Is that true? Yeah! Me at the end of the show in those interviews, that is very much me being myself. There's always a little bit of bravado and a little bit of caricature of me in the man-on-the-streets, but yeah, all that stuff is true.Are guys just intimidated by you? Well, it's not like I'm going out trolling for cock after shows , you know what I mean? It's not hard to get laid if that's your goal, but I'm not gonna have sex with a fan or somebody after a show. I do OK. I really can't complain. But I think \u2014 I hope \u2014 that some guys are intimidated by me.So it's just that the male comics will have sex with fans more than the women comics will? Oh, yeah. They'll go out and look for that. But I wish I could be beamed from the stage to my hotel room. I don't go hang out after the show or anything like that.Have you ever tried any Cosmo sex tips? Have I? God, I'm so lazy. I should have at some point. Come on, Ame. Haven't you ever done anything nice for your boyfriend? One really old one is to put a doughnut around a guy's penis and then eat it off, the doughnut. That sounds awesome. I think I'd get really carried away with the doughnut and forget about the dick.You sometimes play up that you're a slut or a mess. But, really, are you either? I think I'm both, yeah. I have moments where I feel promiscuous and moments where I feel really boring like a one-woman-one-man woman. Sometimes I feel like I've really got it together and sometimes I feel like I can't face the day. I feel like we're all like that. Sometimes I really just do feel like a fucking mess and slutty and out of control. And sometimes I feel like, \"Oh my god, I haven't had sex in months and I'm not looking to and I just want to watch Downton Abbey in bed and make tea for myself.\" That's not an exaggeration. Right now, I'm like, \"That sounds amazing.\"RELATED:How To Be Confident, by Amy Schumer Ari Graynor Goes on a Beautiful Tangent About \"Plastic\" HollywoodPhoto credit: Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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