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" Authenticity is a popular word in wellbeing circles at the moment \u2013 and for good reason. Increasingly, it seems the key to living a happy life is to live an authentic life, where we are true to our own values rather than trying to fit into someone else&amp;#039;s way of living or definition of success. Psychologist Anna Hamer explains why:  &amp;quot;Constantly shape-shifting, or changing our personalities and beliefs to fit in with other people, is both confusing and damaging. It makes it very difficult to recognise what we really feel and what is truly important to us because we&amp;#039;re constantly taking on the values of another person or culture. But because deep down we understand we&amp;#039;re not being true to ourselves, this undermines our sense of belonging and the feeling we are genuinely connected to other people, which is a fundamental human need. Over a long period of time this can lead to isolation and unhappiness.&amp;quot; And living authentically doesn&amp;#039;t just make us feel more content in the &amp;#039;big&amp;#039; things \u2013 such as career, relationships, or family \u2013 but leaves us feeling happier in any given moment, says psychologist Professor Stephen Jospeh, author of Authentic: How to be Yourself and Why it Matters:   &amp;quot;Being authentic improves the quality with which we do the mundane; the everyday. We all get up, brush our teeth, travel to work, pick the kids up, go to the supermarket and so on but authenticity in the small things, the humdrum, makes them more meaningful. If we can make the everyday into something more purposeful that chimes with values we hold dear, we feel happier.&amp;quot;  So rather than think: &amp;#039;I&amp;#039;ve got to pick the kids up from school in the rain&amp;#039;, try switching it up to: &amp;#039;I&amp;#039;ll take their wellies and they can jump in puddles on the way home so we get some fresh air before we do homework.&amp;#039; But being authentic is not just about being &amp;#039;happy&amp;#039;, explains Professor Joseph: &amp;quot;While spending half an hour in the rain may not be all that joyful, it does mean you&amp;#039;re living in accordance with your values \u2013 you consider time outdoors to be healthy, and you&amp;#039;ve taken an opportunity to connect with your kids. It&amp;#039;s this that brings happiness.&amp;quot;    The feelings of general malaise many of us live with and put down to the stresses of modern life are, suggests Stephen, indications that all is not well.  &amp;quot;General discomfort about where we are in our lives, anxiety and persistent feelings of unhappiness are all warning bells,&amp;quot; he says. &amp;quot;Especially if these feelings recur. They will keep popping up until you they&amp;#039;re recognised and addressed, which is where therapy or coaching can be useful.&amp;quot;   3 steps to being more authentic:  1. Find your &amp;#039;connect points&amp;#039;  Ask yourself what it is that makes you joyful and &amp;#039;connected&amp;#039;. Then think about small steps you can take to bring that joy and sense of purpose into your life. &amp;quot;This is not about a moment of madness where you leave all your worldly possessions and strike out in search of life&amp;#039;s true meaning,&amp;quot; says psychologist Anna Hamer. &amp;quot;Rather, it&amp;#039;s about having the maturity to understand can&amp;#039;t change everything at once and looking at the skills you do have that can contribute to your &amp;#039;bigger picture&amp;#039;. Say you want to get more involved at your children&amp;#039;s school but lack any formal qualifications \u2013 can you volunteer or fundraise in the areas you&amp;#039;re interested in? What can you do in the time you have? Can you use existing skills in a new way? Be smart about it.&amp;quot;    2. Be consistent Small changes on a regular basis make a big difference. &amp;quot;If this year you&amp;#039;re doing a job you dislike 90% of the time but can dedicate 10% of your working hours to something you do enjoy, next year the ratio could be 70/30 and the year after that 50/50, which is a much more satisfying arrangement,&amp;quot; says Anna. Rein in all-or-nothing thinking.   3. Be yourself  This is incredibly difficult, in a world where it&amp;#039;s necessary to switch persona from parent to colleague to partner to friend to daughter on a regular basis, to remember who &amp;#039;we&amp;#039; are. &amp;quot;But if we give nothing of ourselves, it creates distance and leaves us feeling empty,&amp;quot; says Anna. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s hard to form close relationships if we don&amp;#039;t make ourselves a little vulnerable by revealing something of our true emotions and opinions.&amp;quot;  The authenticity formula  Living by the following principles means you&amp;#039;re likely living an authentic life, says Professor Joseph.    Know yourself \u2013 listening to gut feelings and follow your instinct. This enables you to make decisions that reflect deep self-awareness.  Own yourself \u2013 take responsibility for the actions above.  Be yourself \u2013 put those actions into practice.   "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/healthy-living/wellbeing/news/a26065/how-to-be-happy-more-authentic/>