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"PinterestFacebookPHOTO: \u00A9 Mark LeibowitzPeople can get some funny ideas in their heads about sex. My friend Dan was dating a woman who, as soon as the clothes came off, went mute. No matter how worked up she got, she never emitted anything louder than a heavy breath. &amp;quot;I felt like I was having sex in a mausoleum,&amp;quot; he told me. Turns out the only other guy she&amp;#39;d ever slept with had said it was gross to make noise in the sack. It just goes to show that when it comes to sex and love, you need to ask around to find good information. That&amp;#39;s why I&amp;#39;m glad Glamour readers send me their burning (no, not that kind of burning&amp;#8212;Hilda deals with those issues) guy questions and why I&amp;#39;ll be completely straight with you in my answers below. Not every man would agree with my advice, but I think most would thank me for my decidedly anti-head game, pro-sex philosophy.\nIf a guy doesn&amp;#39;t call or e-mail for a few days after a great first date, does that mean he&amp;#39;s lost interest, or is he trying to play it cool? Should I just call him?\nIt means either he&amp;#39;s really interested but trying not to show it, or he&amp;#39;s not interested at all. Helpful, huh? But my advice is the same no matter what&amp;#39;s going on in his head: Don&amp;#39;t call him right away, and don&amp;#39;t get all petulant about how the man is supposed to call the woman&amp;#8212;that&amp;#39;s so 1955. Just wait about a week, then invite him to a bar with you and some friends. If he&amp;#39;s interested, he&amp;#39;ll come. If he&amp;#39;s not, he won&amp;#39;t. Either way, you&amp;#39;ll know. And if he joins you but hits on one of your friends, the correct thing to do is stab him in the hand with one of those little plastic cocktail swords.\nI&amp;#39;m not that attracted to my boyfriend, but I&amp;#39;m trying to overlook it because he&amp;#39;s so sweet and loving. Am I being fair?\nAny self-respecting guy would rather get dumped than be pitied by the woman he&amp;#39;s crazy about. And if your sex life hasn&amp;#39;t already suffered because of your lukewarm attraction, it will. Eventually he&amp;#39;ll sense that he wants you more than you want him, and no guy likes that. But before I tell you to give him up, I&amp;#39;ll offer one caveat: If you find something hot about him&amp;#8212;his wry sense of humor, his astounding career confidence, whatever&amp;#8212;there could be hope for you two. So what if he doesn&amp;#39;t have a square jaw or six-pack abs? You can get over that stuff, and maybe you should.\nWhat do women do that&amp;#39;s a deal breaker for guys in bed?\nIt&amp;#39;s never good when you get the feeling that a woman is just kind of suffering through sex like you&amp;#39;d suffer through a Masterpiece Theatre episode. If she&amp;#39;s mostly limp, or if she makes a lot of rules about things he&amp;#39;s not allowed to do, he&amp;#39;ll have a hard time imagining long-term satisfaction with her. I once dated a girl who got a look on her face like her mother was making her eat liver whenever she ventured below my waistline. Bye-bye. Oh, and another thing that bugs me to no end is chatting during sex. Any conversation that doesn&amp;#39;t start with &amp;quot;I&amp;#39;m imagining you\u2026&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;I&amp;#39;d like to\u2026&amp;quot; should happen before or after, but not during sex.\nIf a guy doesn&amp;#39;t want to cuddle after sex, is he not that into you?\nNot necessarily. In his postrelease state, he might just need some me-time. I often crave a little solitude afterward. I get reflective, a little awkward. But it only lasts for five me-minutes; then I go back to my usual state of not being able to keep my hands off the woman. Your guy&amp;#39;s cuddling impairment probably doesn&amp;#39;t mean anything unless he&amp;#39;s also distant outside the bedroom. No touchy-feely except during the act? That&amp;#39;s a bad sign. A real bad sign.\nMy fiance dumped me for a pretty but totally ditzy woman. Can a smart man really be satisfied by a woman&amp;#39;s looks alone?\nLooks get a guy to spend enough time with someone to figure out if he can last a weekend, a month, maybe even a lifetime with her. But eventually a woman&amp;#39;s personality will start to peek through. Most of us start to notice, after a while, if a woman doesn&amp;#39;t smile with her eyes&amp;#8212;no matter how gorgeous those eyes are. Or if she only uses her lips to pout and talk s&amp;#8212;t about her friends. And if your ex is one of the rare few who can be eternally satisfied by a woman just because of what she looks like, he didn&amp;#39;t deserve you anyway.\nWhen a man tells me he&amp;#39;s &amp;quot;not ready for commitment,&amp;quot; what does that really mean?\nUsually it means he wants to break up with you. But before you take it too personally, let me say that he might sincerely need time to embrace the positives of a long-term relationship (true love, stability, the possibility of getting on your excellent health plan) and stop focusing on the negatives (sleeping with one woman for the rest of his life, having to be &amp;quot;emotionally available&amp;quot; 24/7, sleeping with one woman for the rest of his life\u2026). I know guys who&amp;#39;ve given the &amp;quot;just not ready&amp;quot; line to women they&amp;#39;ve eventually happily married. Often it took the women walking away first. Sometimes that adjusts a man&amp;#39;s attitude in a hurry.\nA couple of times I&amp;#39;ve drunk-dialed this new guy I&amp;#39;m dating and it led to great sex. My friends say I need to stop doing this or he&amp;#39;ll lose respect. But he seems to love it. Should I really stop?\nAs long as you&amp;#39;re happily seeing each other when sober in addition to your drunk-dial encounters, what are you worried about? I have never lost respect for a woman I liked because of a booty call. If I can start out eating dinner in front of CSI and end up with a pair of underpants around my neck, that&amp;#39;s a good night.\nSay a guy is dying to get a girl in bed, but when he does, he finds out that her body isn&amp;#39;t that great, after all. Does he care? Or am I just being self-conscious?\nListen, we know what&amp;#39;s under there. Just because you&amp;#39;re wearing vertical stripes or four-inch heels or some hydraulic bra doesn&amp;#39;t mean you&amp;#39;re fooling us. Chances are, if the guy is really desperate to get you into bed, he&amp;#39;s already pretty accurately fantasized about your body. I&amp;#39;ve been thrown for a loop a few times: Once I discovered a pretty impressive thatch of armpit hair, and another woman&amp;#39;s tattoo of her ex&amp;#39;s name put me off a little, I admit. But those were extreme situations that I probably wouldn&amp;#39;t have gotten into had the women not picked me up (in dark places! When I was drunk!). So to most of you, my short answer is no, and yes that&amp;#39;s just you being self-conscious. If you have, say, a biggish backyard, that&amp;#39;s probably exactly why he wanted to get you into the sack in the first place.\nWhat&amp;#39;s the number-one thing a woman can do on a date that will turn a guy on?\nI become helpless when a girl talks about sex, even if it&amp;#39;s not sex that involves either of us. I once had a date describe a sex scene in a movie while we ate dinner; within minutes I felt like I needed to pour a glass of ice water down my shorts. Also: teasing. Show a little skin, but not too much. Touch him, but only glancingly. Come close to kissing him, and then pull back. He&amp;#39;ll be wrapped around your finger. And once you&amp;#39;re both naked, here&amp;#39;s a tip: Pay attention not only to the main apparatus but to the two friends nearby, and you will have a man who will do whatever you say for the rest of your natural life.\nJake is a real guy, living single and writing in New York City.\nSend Jake your toughest Love &amp;amp; Sex Q&amp;#39;s"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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