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" 1.\u00A0There are many types of tan, you fool. Fake tan comes in a variety of forms. There&amp;#039;s spray tans, tan enhancers, tan accelerators, gradual tanners, bog standard fake tan - there&amp;#039;s a whole world of tanning that awaits you. 2.\u00A0It doesn&amp;#039;t stay dark. Yes, we know that by around 8pm we will look the colour of deep mahogany, but it won&amp;#039;t stay that way. SO STOP LAUGHING. 3.\u00A0Those brown stains are totally innocent. It looks bad. We know it looks bad. But it&amp;#039;s just fake tan, honestly. It will come out in the wash.  4.\u00A0If you want us to stop fake tanning, take us on holiday.\u00A0It&amp;#039;s really very simple.  5. Although TBH, just because we get an actual tan, it doesn&amp;#039;t mean we will stop fake tanning.\u00A0A shade darker never hurt anyone.\u00A0 6.\u00A0NEVER tell us we look orange. Ever. Brown, yes. Bronzed, yes. Glowing, yes. Golden, hell yeah. NOT ORANGE. 7.\u00A0Do NOT expect us to wear that tight, sexy bodycon you love. Unless you want us to look like a streaky mess, we need to wear loose clothing. So do NOT judge us if we wander round in what looks like pyjamas. Hey, on the plus side, maybe we&amp;#039;ll wander round naked. Every cloud\u2026 8.\u00A0Oh and you know how you always say we look great without makeup? You better mean it, because we&amp;#039;ll be a makeup free zone for the next 48hours. Possibly longer if our normal makeup is too light for our tan.  9.\u00A0Rain is our enemy. If we&amp;#039;re getting a tan, we cannot be outside in wet weather. If you insist, it is your responsibility to hold an umbrella over our head at all times. 10.\u00A0Brace yourself for stubble (not on our face). By the time the\u00A0tan has developed and we look all bronzed and great, we&amp;#039;ve probably developed a pretty decent level of regrowth on our legs. But if we shave, who knows how much tan will come off.  11.\u00A0Ross jokes are permitted. But we estimate one per tan. After that, you might get the silent treatment.  12.\u00A0Get used to the smell. Prepare to get a real nose for that unique combination of wet dogs and digestive biscuits. Mmmmm, tannnn. 13.\u00A0And sure, fake tanning may seem annoying. But it&amp;#039;s better than this:  14.\u00A0Exfoliating is a big deal. Whatever you do, do not move our exfoliating mitt. Unless you want us to look like a god damn zebra made solely from shades of brown. 15.\u00A0Our hands get orange, but try not to stare. And before you ask, no we aren&amp;#039;t trying to tan our palms, it is not intentional, so shutup. 16.\u00A0You need to know what &amp;#039;The Guide Colour&amp;#039; means. Nothing to do with Scouts, this is the name of the sticky coat of fake tan that shows up extra dark on application so a spray tanning professional can see where they&amp;#039;ve tanned and where they haven&amp;#039;t. Real. Talk!  17.\u00A0&amp;quot;Have you ever thought about a light coat on your face?&amp;quot; is an honest question we may ask you. Do not feel emasculated or insulted, it&amp;#039;s not a big deal and it may be for the good of your own PlayStation pale face. 18.\u00A0Don&amp;#039;t be jealous of our spray tanner - even if they&amp;#039;re male. They have seen us naked in a towel turban. our arms flailing like an awkward air traffic controller whilst pulling the strangest &amp;#039;oops I inhaled tan fumes again&amp;#039; face. Not our best look. 19.\u00A0The white bits the shape of Bobby Norris&amp;#039;s eye-waterinngly tiny swimmers? We get those if we wore disposable thong panties in the spray tan booth. Shexy!  20.\u00A0Sex might take a back-seat for a teeny tiny while. Don&amp;#039;t expect us to do anything that will make us sweat or cry until we are fully developed. Yes that&amp;#039;s a real sentence. 21.\u00A0But after that, we may turn into (more of) a sex goddess. Not just because our bum cheeks are the colour of a nicely bronzed cupcakes but because we have a brand new confidence boost that makes us all va va voom. 22.\u00A0Oh and if you really love us\u2026\u00A0Be a babe, stick on a glove and do that tricky unreachable spot in the middle of our backs. That is true love. RELATED: THE EMOTIONAL STAGES OF GETTING A SPRAY TAN THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW BEFORE DATING A BARTENDER "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/news/a35433/dating-girl-fake-tans/>