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" I&amp;#039;m in my mid-30s and find that my longtime friends refuse to grow up. They still act juvenile most of the time--partying, smoking, drinking, living at home, etc. I have changed completely over the last few years--I go to church, I don&amp;#039;t party, I try to be a good mom. This has been somewhat of a personal battle, but I feel I&amp;#039;m a much better person now, and that they&amp;#039;re holding me back from being all I want to be. Should I leave them behind? --V.B., 37, Port Hope, Ontario You&amp;#039;ve already left them behind; it sounds like all you need is some validation that it&amp;#039;s all right to have done so. You&amp;#039;ve learned firsthand that in order to be the person you want to be and do the right thing (I put being a good mom in this category), sometimes you&amp;#039;ve got to steer clear of people who don&amp;#039;t share your goals. At the moment it&amp;#039;s in your best interest to cultivate friendships with people at your church or your child&amp;#039;s school. If your friends wonder why you won&amp;#039;t come out and party, tell them you&amp;#039;re busy (you are!) or that you&amp;#039;re not in the mood. You don&amp;#039;t need to say you find them annoying and immature. The upside of leaving a friend behind, especially if it&amp;#039;s a matter of maturity, is that a few years from now, she&amp;#039;ll probably grow up--and you&amp;#039;ll find you have more in common again.   Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019 or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/friends-family/q-and-a/a1584/outgrown-friends-hs/>