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" My husband and I share our fantasies with each other. When a friend told me about her marital troubles and lack of intimacy, I showed her my fantasy wardrobe -- thigh-high boots, fishnet stockings, a tartan schoolgirl skirt, and my guy&amp;#039;s favorite, Levi&amp;#039;s cutoffs and a bikini top. She said she&amp;#039;s not into pornography or being a slut. I regret sharing something so personal with her. I&amp;#039;d like to tell her it&amp;#039;s okay to have fantasy and role-playing in a healthy marriage. Your thoughts? --Anonymous Alas, O Frisky One, you can&amp;#039;t unring the bell, so just tell yourself you&amp;#039;re not going to regret having shared this with your pal. I&amp;#039;d wager that she was unable to appreciate your candor because it pushed too many buttons -- her troubled marriage, her sexuality, your sexuality, and how that jibes with what she knows of you. Also, you probably just caught her off guard.  If you notice a rift between you two, try talking to her. Say, &amp;quot;Look, I&amp;#039;m worried about you and Jack, and when I showed you that personal stuff, I was trying to help. We obviously have different feelings about what&amp;#039;s healthy in a marriage, but I hope you don&amp;#039;t think less of me.&amp;quot;  Chances are, she&amp;#039;ll welcome the opportunity to clear the air.  It also occurs to me that you might have a need to share this part of your personal life with a friend. If so, perhaps you have other pals to talk to who are a bit more freewheeling, and who aren&amp;#039;t suffering as this friend is. You don&amp;#039;t want her to feel worse than she already does, and seeing the great sex life you&amp;#039;ve got going on might do just that.   Award-winning writer Karen Karbo is the author of How to Hepburn: Lessons on Living from Kate the Great. She&amp;#039;s also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Send your questions to her at: The Hard Stuff, REDBOOK, 300 W. 57th St., New York, NY 10019 or karenkarbo@redbookmag.com. Letters may be edited for clarity and length, and must include your initials, age, city, and state. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/sex/advice/a3504/hs-shes-judging-me/>