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"PinterestFacebookStruggling to bounce back after getting hurt: been there, done that, am I right? Let&amp;#39;s talk through the situation with a reader who&amp;#39;s feeling burnt by love.\nShe writes:\nI was dating a guy for about six months. It was fun and romantic&amp;#8212;we had shared dreams, even named our three imaginary kids! However, he would also often remind me that he just wasn&amp;#39;t ready for a relationship, but he was spending most of his free time with me. He would also say to me, &amp;quot;Relax, I&amp;#39;m not going anywhere&amp;quot; and even said he loved me and didn&amp;#39;t want to lose me. He would assure me that he wasn&amp;#39;t dating anyone else, nor did he want to, but then sometimes when it felt like things were really taking shape, he would remind me that &amp;quot;we were only dating&amp;quot; and he only wanted me &amp;quot;sometimes.&amp;quot; Are you confused yet? Because I was!\nEventually we broke up, which he laughed at because he didn&amp;#39;t think of us as together! He blamed me, saying I pushed him and didn&amp;#39;t give him enough space. I will admit that I got needy toward the end because I felt like none of my emotional needs were being met, and I was confused by his mixed messages! A lot of my friends think I gave a lot to a man who wasn&amp;#39;t committed, and this is true, but the mixed signals have terrified me to date again! Help!\nOuch. I&amp;#39;m sorry you had to go through this classic mixed-signals situation. I remember having similar experiences with guys when I was younger, and it sucked, big-time. But I think the good news is that you&amp;#39;ve already learned two valuable lessons that will help you move on and not be afraid to try to date other people.\nLesson #1: If a guy flat-out says he isn&amp;#39;t ready for a relationship, he&amp;#39;s not. Maybe that will change, maybe it won&amp;#39;t, but if it changes, he&amp;#39;ll say so. Don&amp;#39;t be fooled by him spending a lot of time with you or abstractly talking about the future. Take him at his word, and if a relationship is what you want, don&amp;#39;t stick with the guy who doesn&amp;#39;t.\nLesson #2: Having needs is not the same thing as being needy, and a guy should respect that. Sure, there&amp;#39;s a point where a person might be too clingy and insecure, but asking to have your emotional needs met doesn&amp;#39;t necessary make you that person. If a guy immediately gets all defensive and accusatory about your &amp;quot;neediness&amp;quot; any time you ask him to respect your feelings, it&amp;#39;s probably a good sign he doesn&amp;#39;t care about making you feel comfortable.\nEven though I know this is hard to go through, try to think of it this way: In the grand scheme of things, six months isn&amp;#39;t that long. You tried, it didn&amp;#39;t work, and at least you didn&amp;#39;t spend years trying to change this guy. And now you&amp;#39;ve learned what to look for the next time you date a guy. There&amp;#39;s no guarantee you won&amp;#39;t get hurt again (unfortunately!), but every bad relationship teaches you what to avoid and what to look for in a good relationship. If the next guy you meet pulls the same mixed-message crap, you&amp;#39;ll know to walk away faster. So give yourself a little space to grieve, and then get back on the dating scene knowing you&amp;#39;re a little wiser and a lot more prepared to get what you want out of your next relationship. Wishing you all the best!\nWhat other tips do you have for our reader? Have you ever been afraid to date again?\nDealing with hurt feelings:\nAsk a Guy: &amp;quot;Why Is a Guy Who Broke Up With Me Acting Hurt?&amp;quot;\nAsk an Expert: Is My Sadness After a Breakup Normal, or Is It Depression?\nAsk a Guy: &amp;quot;Why Does My Boyfriend Keep Making Comments About How His Exes Hurt Him?&amp;quot;\nPhoto: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/story/readers-dilemma-after-getting>