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"_Dear Rachel,\n\n I just found out my friend died last week and I just want to cry, but at the same time, I want to not think about it because it hurts.\n\n \u2013SCA_\n\nDear SCA,\n\n I am so sorry. huge hug\n\n When someone close to you dies\u2014especially when that someone had no business going anywhere\u2014you have to look at a part of life that is frankly terrifying: the part where everything is fragile, where someone you love could be standing here one minute and then gone the next.\n\n It&amp;#39;s not something we spend a whole lot of time thinking about. We can&amp;#39;t, because it&amp;#39;s too overwhelming. It&amp;#39;s kind of like flying in an airplane. You have to suspend thinking about certain things, like the fact that you&amp;#39;re hurtling through the air in a tin can (okay, not exactly, but you get my point) at 500 mph, 40,000 feet up. It&amp;#39;s too scary to do that, so you just kind of check out, read your in-flight magazine, listen to your tunes, and pretend you&amp;#39;re just anywhere.\n\n When someone dies, you&amp;#39;re suddenly keenly aware that you&amp;#39;re in the tin can, hurtling through the air. Life is suddenly filled with scary possibilities everywhere you look.\n\n It makes sense that you wouldn&amp;#39;t want to think about it. Who would? But here&amp;#39;s the thing: you have to let the pain in when someone you love dies. Emotions don&amp;#39;t disappear just because you tell them to go away. They just change form, and not in a good way.\n\n When you boil water, it turns to vapor. When you try not to grieve, your emotions transform into other forces: you may feel physically ill in your stomach or head; you might become suddenly angry for no reason; or you might make stupid decisions that involve acting out or getting in trouble, or both.\n\n Someone once said, &amp;quot;Have your emotions, or your emotions will have you.&amp;quot; The good news is that grief doesn&amp;#39;t last forever and, clich\u00E9 as it sounds, time does help. You will not always feel this way, I promise. Good luck.\n\n \u2013Rachel\n\nWe want to hear what&amp;#39;s on your mind! If you have a question for Rachel, email her."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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