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"  I should have stayed working at the state park. I could&amp;#039;ve retired at a full pension 15 years ago and I wouldn&amp;#039;t have spent my working life in what amounts at its highest levels to a Chronic Ward. I&amp;#039;m not saying it&amp;#039;s right. I know it&amp;#039;s wrong. I&amp;#039;m just saying I do it, too. I eat pizza with a knife and fork because I want only the gooey stuff on top, not the crust. (When I first started in The Times&amp;#039;s Washington bureau, I soothed my nerves by noshing on pizzas slathered with mashed potatoes, a dish that required a spoon and bigger jeans.) I almost didn&amp;#039;t become a Times columnist because of a de Blasio-like faux pas. When Arthur Sulzberger Jr. took me to breakfast to discuss the possibility of a column, we were talking when he suddenly looked dismayed. I thought it was my ZERO knowledge about NATO, but it wasn&amp;#039;t. &amp;quot;Why,&amp;quot; he asked me, &amp;quot;are you eating your muffin with a knife and fork?&amp;quot; The instrument capable of measuring the microscopic shit I care about this anecdote has yet to be invented. I thought I was being ladylike, which might have been de Blasio&amp;#039;s problem as well. The photos looked way too ladylike for the 6-foot-5 mayor. It seemed more like the prissy move of Warren Wilhelm Jr. of Cambridge - his original name which he changed because of his estrangement from his alcoholic father - than the paesano Bill de Blasio of Brooklyn. Fag-baiting. It&amp;#039;s not just for Obambi any more. Pizza can be hazardous to an administration. We all remember what happened when a Clinton intern delivered a pie to the Oval Office during a government shutdown. Of course &amp;quot;we&amp;quot; all remember it. But &amp;quot;we&amp;quot; all don&amp;#039;t relive it, over and over again, with dramatic pauses, every time &amp;quot;we&amp;quot; are in our cups. It all comes down to Why-Monica-And-Not-Me? Get over it, Mo. Jaysus. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/a20159/maureen-dowd-de-blasio-pizza-column-011514/>