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"   Question I decided to marry my husband knowing that I wasn\u2019t in love with him.  He is a good man and I thought it was enough to make the marriage work.  We have a fine home and happy kids but I am unhappy all the time.  What bothers me is the repulsion I am experiencing with him especially in the sexual act (he is trying his best with me).  The feeling of guilt is killing me. I tried and I cannot help it.  What should I do?   Answer David writes: Well, your sad story does make it clear how unwise it is to get married to someone for insufficiently good reasons.  It&amp;#039;s very unlikely that after all this time you are going to &amp;#039;change&amp;#039; \u2013 and fall in love with your husband.  So, can you keep this marriage going for the rest of your lives? It really doesn&amp;#039;t sound like it \u2013 though it&amp;#039;s amazing what some poorly-matched couples can achieve.  What is certain is that you&amp;#039;re experiencing utter misery at the moment \u2013 especially during sex. So it&amp;#039;s obvious that you must get some counselling to help you cope with this awful stress.  My advice is to go and talk to someone at Relate. An experienced counsellor will help you to work out where your life is going.  Good luck.  Christine adds: I&amp;#039;m awfully sorry to hear of your anguish.  Please try not to blame yourself too much; what has happened to you is really quite common. And I think it may all come down to the age-old business of the biological clock.  I notice from my own female psychotherapy clients \u2013 as well as from friends, family and so on \u2013 just how many women feel compelled to marry simply because their biological clock is urging them on to have children.  In these circumstances it is very common to feel that time is running out and to therefore agree to marry someone who is nice and decent, but not ideal.  Sadly, a marriage without romantic attraction and love can quickly seem a pretty dilute experience.  Now, what can you do? I absolutely agree with David that you should get some counselling.  I also feel that you might start making plans for a different life for when your children are older. Many women in your situation start training for a new career.  They might also establish a personal bank account, and make new friends and interests all in preparation for a day when they will feel less uncomfortable about breaking up the marriage.  I think you probably feel that you ought to hang on in there till your kids are older \u2013 and I agree that that would be best if you can.  Having said that, sometimes events overtake wise plans. It&amp;#039;s always conceivable that either you or your husband may one day form a deep attachment for someone else \u2013 and that may force the end of the marriage.  I hope that what we have said will help a little in this difficult situation. Best wishes, Dr David Delvin, GP and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert  Other Qs &amp;amp;amp; As After two years my boyfriend now tells me he is happier on his own Am I better off without my partner and her stepchildren? Am I crazy to still be with my partner? Don&amp;#039;t know whether I should end my marriage I am stuck in a loveless marriage and don&amp;#039;t know what to do I don\u2019t want to be with her anymore I don\u2019t want to have a life full of regret  I don&amp;#039;t love my partner anymore I know the answer is to end it but what do you think? I\u2019ve gone off my partner I&amp;#039;m no longer attracted to my partner My marriage is on the rocks Should I leave her? Should I leave my partner and be a single parent? Should I move on? Should I sit tight or make a break for it? Should I stand by my man? Should I stay in this relationship? Should I stay with him for the sake of the children? Should I tell him I don&amp;#039;t fancy him anymore, or should I fake enjoying sex? Should we split? The spark has gone out of our marriage  Last updated 04.01.2008 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/sexual-health/a1267/i-dont-love-my-husband/>