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" One of the benefits of early adoption is a certain freedom of choice not afforded to those who arrive later, particularly when it comes to naming rights. First to the rap game? Go ahead, call yourself Afrika Bambaataa. Everyone else will have to come up with something else.  On Twitter, this phenomenon has resulted in a slew of recognizable handles owned and operated by anonymous rubes. Take @Esquire, a handle that belongs to one James S. Puccio. He&amp;#039;s a lawyer in Florida and he must be busy because he HASN&amp;#039;T TWEETED ONCE. The man is a squandering a premium handle and he&amp;#039;s got plenty of company. Herewith, others committing that same crime: @Today: Don&amp;#039;t go to Beth Shankle for behind-the-scenes selfies of Savannah Guthrie and Julia Louis-Dreyfus. Do go to Beth Shankle for auto-Tweets linking to her Instagram. @ScarJo: The real ScarJo doesn&amp;#039;t like social media. She once said, &amp;quot;All of it drives me crazy. I don&amp;#039;t understand this need to share.&amp;quot; This fake ScarJo, who protects her tweets, seems to think the same thing.  @ManintheArena: This is an obvious reference to a Teddy Roosevelt speech that implored listeners to go forth and fight the battles in which they believe. Glory, he said, comes to the man in the arena, not the dude who&amp;#039;s Tweeted six times from a protected account. Step it up, Ralph. @GeorgeCarlin: Every Tweet here links to nonsense on UberHumor.com, a website that would make George Carlin glad he&amp;#039;s dead.  @AtticusFinch: How many lawyers are on Twitter? Rhetorical question. We don&amp;#039;t know. What we do know is that none of them snagged this prime real estate.  @FreeBird: This could easily be the world&amp;#039;s best Twitter account and all it would have to do is Tweet &amp;quot;Play &amp;#039;Free Bird&amp;#039;&amp;quot; at a new band each day. @Booty: There&amp;#039;s only one way to misuse this handle and it&amp;#039;s by omitting the booty pictures. @Goat: There are three entities who deserve this account: Muhammad Ali, Steve Bartman, or an actual goat. You are none of those, Leo Wang.  @RoosterCogburn: What a missed opportunity for a Tea Party Republican to show what a John Wayne-style badass he is. We&amp;#039;re looking at you Ted Cruz.  @WarrenBuffet: Finance and food puns please. A suggestion: &amp;quot;Heard the stock market did terribly today. Anyone know about the broth market?&amp;quot; @AssMan: Michael Richards doesn&amp;#039;t appear to be on Twitter. We can only assume it&amp;#039;s because this handle was taken. @Pootin: Thanks to this ambitionless squatter, we&amp;#039;ll never see the fart joke-heavy, Vladimir Putin parody account we&amp;#039;ve always wanted.  @Wow: Perhaps &amp;quot;wow&amp;quot; means wasted opportunity in Ukrainian. That would go a long way toward explaining \u0412\u0430\u0440\u044F \u041A\u0440\u0430\u0432\u0447\u0435\u043D\u043A\u043E&amp;#039;s transgression.  @Hello: Got to love the irony here. The most common greeting in the English language is your handle, and no one has ever read your Tweets. Kind of sad too. @Tweets: There are only four. And they&amp;#039;re in Zulu (at least that&amp;#039;s what Google Translate says).  @Ha: Considering the profile image--it&amp;#039;s the flag for the Islamic Republic of Iraq--and the text--it says email if you have any questions--we&amp;#039;re going to go ahead and guess this accounts 35 protected Tweets don&amp;#039;t deliver the laughs promised by the handle. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/news/a26943/great-handle-bad-twitter/>