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"PinterestFacebookAmanda Gersh is the hilarious Crabmommy over at Cookie Magazine. She writes about her crabby life as a crabby mom with a crabby tot, and her honest posts always crack me up. So when I discovered that she had been a pregnant bride, I asked her to tell us her funny story. Here goes...\nHere&amp;#39;s Amanda&amp;#39;s story...\n&amp;quot;I like that one,&amp;quot; my friend Tee said encouragingly, as I squeezed myself into a seersucker mini dress in the Saks changing room.\nI frowned. &amp;quot;It looks like a tennis dress,&amp;quot; I said. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#39;t want to get married in a tennis dress.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;What about an empire style?&amp;quot; Tee suggested. &amp;quot;I hate empire dresses. Everyone looks pregnant in an empire dress.&amp;quot; &amp;quot;But you are pregnant,&amp;quot; my friend replied, trying to be helpful. Tee noticed me sulking in the mirror. &amp;quot;You don&amp;#39;t seem very happy about this,&amp;quot; she said. &amp;quot;Why aren&amp;#39;t you enjoying this more? You&amp;#39;re marrying a great guy and you&amp;#39;re having a baby!&amp;quot;\nI&amp;#39;ve never really been a traditional girl. If I&amp;#39;d been a traditional girl, I wouldn&amp;#39;t have met my husband\u2026on the New York City subway! If I&amp;#39;d been a traditional girl, I wouldn&amp;#39;t have spoken to him first. I would have looked away when our eyes met.\nBut when 1.5 years later I got knocked up before the question of marriage had crossed my man&amp;#39;s lips, I suddenly turned traditional. I wanted a big wedding! With all my extended family! And I wanted it to happen instantly...before my bump would show. Unfortunately most of my family lives in South Africa, and my bump was very definitely pronouncing itself after just 2.5 months of prego-ness.\nAs a modern-girl-turned-suddenly-traditional, everything about my nuptial situation bothered me. Never mind that I was totally in love with my fabulous boyfriend, never mind that, at 31, I was in as good a place as any for having the baby I&amp;#39;d always wanted, and never mind that my husband-to-be was happy to marry me and excited to become a dad. The details of getting married got on my hormonally-overloaded nerves. (Plus I&amp;#39;m just born crabby, glass-half-empty kind of girl.)\nI&amp;#39;d always pictured myself getting married with long hair twisted into an elegant chignon. But just a week shy of finding out I was pregnant, I&amp;#39;d spontaneously lopped off my long locks. &amp;quot;Give me a Mia Farrow in Rosemary&amp;#39;s Baby look,&amp;quot; I told the hairstylist. &amp;quot;Chop it all off!&amp;quot; But, once I found out I was pregnant, every time I looked in the mirror my hair seemed to rise an inch every three minutes, as did my tummy. I was short, stubby, and expanding--the short hair just accentuating this unflattering truth. So much for graceful pregnancies and glamorous weddings! I needed to get married pronto, before my growing belly and pinhead would conspire to make me look more like a tick than a bride.\nThe traditional girl in me reluctantly agreed that a quickie wedding was the best fix. But what once might have seemed sophisticated and romantic to me--a City Hall ceremony followed by lunch with close friends--depressed me a little. For starters, the tick couldn&amp;#39;t find a good dress and, without swanky duds to glam up the event, I would be just another budget bun-in-oven bride doing it fast and cheap.\nBut the magical frock was nowhere to be found. It seemed every sweet dress in cream or white, in silk or wool or crepe or lace to fit a 5-foot-1-inch girl with a bulging midsection, had been bought up by someone else. After my friend Tee and I spent a useless afternoon in Saks and she commented on my foul mood, I flounced out of the store, called off the shopping spree, and took the subway home, sniveling all the way.\nI knew I was being silly, but at the same time shopping for glam gowns when you&amp;#39;re pregnant, moody, and packing on pounds by the day is a loaded situation. I wanted to feel happy, but mostly I felt completely out of control. And the one thing I&amp;#39;d thought I could control--my appearance on the day of my wedding--seemed doubtful, my grim shopping trips from Brooklyn to Manhattan turning up absolutely nothing in the way of a gorgeous dress worthy of marriage...\nOn my wedding day, I was never so cold in my life. My messy short hair was hard to tame, a piece of it shooting up at the top, like Tintin&amp;#39;s. The straps on my seamstress-made, ho-hum boring silk dress wouldn&amp;#39;t stay up. The felt-and-net scarf (that I had turned into a cape to glam up the dress) slipped whenever I moved. But everything else--the man, the ceremony, the lunch--was PERFECT. (So was my makeup, thanks to my genius maid of honor, Ann!)\nI saw the dress of my dreams two weeks after the wedding itself, and I felt a little pang. Right on the corner of my block in Park Slope, it appeared in the window of a boutique I had scoured many times before. Chic, slim, structured, a little offbeat at the neckline: the seasonally appropriate creamy wool number was exactly what I&amp;#39;d been looking for, exactly my size--and exactly two weeks too late.\nIt&amp;#39;s true that my perfect wedding dress eluded me. But when I look at my photos they reflect the day itself. Though the pics aren&amp;#39;t perfect (hubby&amp;#39;s eyes are closed in almost all of them) and I wasn&amp;#39;t perfect, the photos are accurate and true: I was happy. I felt lucky. Five years on, I still am and I still do.\nThank you, Crabmommy! I think you looked gorgeous. Readers, have you ever been to the wedding of a pregnant bride? I&amp;#39;ve been close--I know a lot of honeymoon babies!\nPinterestFacebookHer cute husband.\nP.S. What will your baby look like? Plus, our favorite wedding dresses, and a reader confesses: &amp;quot;We decided to get married after dating for only one week.&amp;quot;"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/story/true-dating-confession-i-was-a>