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"FacebookPinterest\n\nThe Church of Scientology-sponsored Campaign Nose Dive: So Barb gave a campaign talk to a group of women and in short, it didn\u2019t go well. In long, it started out shaky with lots of business about the stress of being an uptight housewife in suburban Mormonia, which was received with blank, empty stares. It ended with Barb belly-flopping on the whole house of cards with a rant about the horrors of prescription drugs. YIKES. Naturally, Bill\u2019s opponent pounced on the opportunity and it\u2019s really hurting Bill\u2019s campaign. So bad, in fact, that he\u2019s losing. As a Republican. In a state that is so red it would appear south of Mississippi in a politically relandscaped America. If anyone can retingle the thetans of Utah next week in the season finale though, we\u2019ve gotta feeling it\u2019s Barb.\n\nFacebookPinterest\n\nWorst Wife of the Week: Although Barb made a dent in the campaign\u2019s success, Margene is actually following through with that extramarital marriage (yep, you read that right) which is really not gonna look good come Judgment Day. Better gird your loins for the slammer, Marge. If your first meeting with the Green Card deportation po-po was any indication, the ladies of Salt Lake\u2019s cellblocks are gonna be gnashing at some fresh meat soon enough.\n\nCasting Directors for the next Nicholas Sparks adaptation, ready your bidding paddles: The only thing that\u2019s been more rushed than Amanda Seyfried\u2019s marriage on Big Love is her exit from the show. It\u2019s like the writers tried to forget her contract was up and then she tapped them on the shoulder and was like oh hai, GET ME OUT OF HERE I\u2019M A CELEBRITY!. She abruptly announced she\u2019s moving to Portland to live with her manboy husband and started boxing up her shit. She laughed, she cried, she listened to Cat Power, and then she ate some cake. And like that, she\u2019s gone. \n\nFacebookPinterest\n\nAlby, in case you forgot, is a homosexual. So Alby is finally coming to terms with the death of his boyfriend, and man is he dealing. His wife caught him bawling and prancing in his office with those creepy camera phone photos he snapped in the beginning of the season. Which had us scratching our heads a little. Seriously? He might as well have rolled on some E; cranked up some Cher; and had anonymous, void-filling sex at an airport bathroom. Couldn\u2019t he have at least broke some shit and got in a bar fight before he had a good cry? 2010, people. 2010!\n\nAnd now a moment of honest concern. Writers of Big Love, I\u2019m ready to come out and say that I\u2019m more than a little worried about the direction this season has taken. I get that this time around you guys went all existential. They\u2019re \u201Cfloating in Outer Darkness\u201D. Loud and clear! But you can\u2019t leave us in the dark too! I have no idea what\u2019s going on half the time. You can have a parakeet-smuggling plot, a mother-son Oedipal arc, a crazy unbelievably far-fetched campaign for Senate by an otherwise politically uninvolved entrepreneur. But you can\u2019t have them all! (Our suggestion, you should\u2019ve killed the campaign\u2026) Last season, you proved that these characters were quirky as hell, but still human. This writer is even willing to say that Barb\u2019s excommunication was one of the most powerful scenes in television he\u2019s ever seen. Do more of that! Really though, all I\u2019m saying is next time you dream up a far-fetched idea, reign it in a little. Consider dropping the part where someone cuts off an arm with a machete or decides to have an impulsive green card marriage (without a prenup). Sincerest apologies if you have managed to right all these wrongs in the finale. Ok, there, we\u2019re done."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/tv-watch-big-love-5>