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"Some women really know how to make an entrance. For Angie Harmon, nothing \u2014 not even a nonstop schedule filming the hot TNT series Rizzoli &amp;amp;amp; Isles in Los Angeles \u2014 was going to keep her from surprising her husband, Jason Sehorn, at their North Carolina home for his 40th birthday. No, Harmon didn&amp;#039;t drive up, ring the doorbell, and yell, &amp;quot;Surprise!&amp;quot; Instead, she crossed a patch of woods (&amp;quot;I didn&amp;#039;t care if I wound up with poison ivy on my face&amp;quot;), sneaked through a neighbor&amp;#039;s yard, and then wriggled through her home&amp;#039;s doggy door to astound her entire family.  &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t go small, that&amp;#039;s for sure,&amp;quot; the actress says, laughing. And, she adds, it was worth all the lost sleep and military-precision maneuvers: &amp;quot;When Jason saw me, his eyes got as big as basketballs, and then he gave me a big old bear hug,&amp;quot; the 38-year-old recalls. &amp;quot;And my baby just held on to my leg. It was just darling.... My girls now really understand happy tears.&amp;quot;  Tears, both happy and sad, are part of Harmon&amp;#039;s life these days. On a sunny Saturday afternoon, the raven-haired former model has just completed a 90-hour (yes, seriously: 90) workweek. It has been 10 full days since she&amp;#039;s seen her clan \u2014 Sehorn and daughters Finley, 7, Avery, 6, and Emery, 2 \u2014 and she is fighting off a major mommy meltdown. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m a mess. I&amp;#039;ve lost 10 pounds since I got here,&amp;quot; she says in her signature smoky voice, made famous on Law &amp;amp;amp; Order back in the late nineties. &amp;quot;This is the hardest time in my life, for sure.&amp;quot; But Harmon says she will get through it, and that her precious girls and well-tended marriage will thrive. She made a heart-wrenching choice, but for the right reason: her kids&amp;#039; welfare. Tackling Her Toughest Decision Moving the family from L.A. to Charlotte, NC, last August has obviously complicated Harmon&amp;#039;s and Sehorn&amp;#039;s lives colossally. There&amp;#039;s now a discouraging 2,000-plus miles between home and the studio where Rizzoli &amp;amp;amp; Isles is filmed \u2014 though the family reunites on the West Coast during summer vacation.  &amp;quot;It breaks my heart that I don&amp;#039;t see my daughters every day, don&amp;#039;t get to hug them and brush their hair,&amp;quot; Harmon admits. Still, she set her sights on North Carolina for her girls&amp;#039; sake, and has never looked back. She sums up the state&amp;#039;s special allure: &amp;quot;There&amp;#039;s a church on every corner as opposed to just a Starbucks.... The people are just a little nicer \u2014 more real.&amp;quot; Harmon didn&amp;#039;t like what the kids were picking up in the fast-moving, flashy Hollywood world. She was horrified to learn that daughter Avery had been hearing friends talk about &amp;quot;sexual things,&amp;quot; like making out with a boy. &amp;quot;Things were just going too fast for her,&amp;quot; Harmon recalls with a shudder. &amp;quot;And she had night terrors, which stopped the day we got to North Carolina.&amp;quot; Also, says Harmon, her once-shy oldest daughter has become more outgoing. Even with the logistical challenges, Harmon says, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m happy that we moved. One day, my kids are going to say, &amp;#039;Remember when we sat in the yard [in North Carolina] and fed the geese?&amp;#039; I&amp;#039;m so proud that I can give them these memories. And I&amp;#039;m more grounded and centered in North Carolina because it&amp;#039;s a slower way of life. We go bike riding or go to the ice cream parlor.&amp;quot; Of course, the decision to relocate wouldn&amp;#039;t have happened without serious support from Sehorn. As Harmon&amp;#039;s career was in a lull, the couple planned the next stage of their family&amp;#039;s life somewhat sheltered from the spotlight. They forged ahead with heading east \u2014 only to have the Rizzoli &amp;amp;amp; Isles job offer crop up. Sehorn knew that the role was too good to lose and must have seen the excitement in his wife&amp;#039;s eyes when she spoke about it. &amp;quot;He says, &amp;#039;Baby, you wouldn&amp;#039;t be who you are if you weren&amp;#039;t an actress,&amp;#039;&amp;quot; Harmon explains. &amp;quot;He gives me the freedom to do my job, which is pretty fantastic.&amp;quot;   Mommying Across the Miles A self-described control freak, Harmon stays involved in the minutiae of her children&amp;#039;s lives when she&amp;#039;s away, constantly checking in with &amp;quot;the Horn,&amp;quot; as she&amp;#039;s nicknamed her husband (the girls are &amp;quot;the Hornettes,&amp;quot; and she&amp;#039;s &amp;quot;the She-Horn&amp;quot;). &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m calling him all the time to ask, &amp;#039;What did you do next?&amp;#039;&amp;quot; she admits \u2014 so she can visualize each part of the family&amp;#039;s day. And she has taught the 6&amp;#039;2&amp;quot; former New York Giant some of her secret mom moves, like the routine of rocking baby Emery to sleep every night (a favorite blanket plays the starring role). &amp;quot;At first, he was like, &amp;#039;Really?&amp;#039;&amp;quot; she says, laughing. &amp;quot;I told him, &amp;#039;When she&amp;#039;s 15 and doesn&amp;#039;t want anything to do with you, you&amp;#039;re going to remember those nights when you rocked her to sleep, and you&amp;#039;re going to thank me.&amp;#039;&amp;quot; Over dinner, Dad and the girls carry on the ritual that Harmon initiated of playing Roses and Thorns, wherein each family member relays the highlights (roses) and disappointments (thorns) of the day. Still, no matter how much they Skype and share by phone, Harmon is bound to be absent for some milestones. Yesterday, for instance, a phone call with the girls nearly unraveled her: &amp;quot;The baby is a great talker, and she&amp;#039;s improving every day. So she got on the phone and said, &amp;#039;Mommy, I mith you so muth.&amp;#039; She has a lisp now! I just lost it.&amp;quot; Harmon knew that she had to take a deep breath and pull it together before her oldest girl jumped on the line. &amp;quot;I tried to cover it up and be strong for her, but Finley said, &amp;#039;Oh, yeah. Mommy&amp;#039;s crying.&amp;#039;&amp;quot;  Missing the little everyday mom moments is hard \u2014 and Harmon is hard on herself. &amp;quot;When I feel like I&amp;#039;m not doing what I am supposed to as a mother, I will torture myself,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t know how to deal with it. I find some consolation in the fact that all mommies feel it. If there was a way to cure mommy guilt, I would bottle it and be a bazillionaire.&amp;quot;  A fellow actor who also left her family to film a hit show \u2014 The Closer&amp;#039;s Kyra Sedgwick \u2014 gave Harmon some advice that sees her through her loneliest low points. &amp;quot;Kyra told me to keep my heart where my feet are. So when I&amp;#039;m at work, my heart stays at work, and when I&amp;#039;m at home, my heart stays at home.&amp;quot; She acknowledges that it&amp;#039;s easier said than done, but says, &amp;quot;With that idea in mind, I can sort of stay on track.&amp;quot; Just as Harmon doesn&amp;#039;t claim to be the perfect parent, she won&amp;#039;t pretend that her darling daughters are always cherubs. They fight, for sure. &amp;quot;I have them hug and kiss,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;And it has to be reciprocal. Usually, if only one girl is doing the hugging, it eventually makes the other one laugh, and so it all works out.&amp;quot;  Teaching her children to be kind to people and give back is another of Harmon&amp;#039;s ongoing parenting projects. Until recently, she used a point system she&amp;#039;d devised by which they could earn rewards. But she discovered that they were only being nice to each other to nab a reward. Harmon therefore set out to teach them that they must give in order to receive. &amp;quot;I was yanking on the girls to give up their old toys and telling them to think about the little ones who don&amp;#039;t have anything, but they just didn&amp;#039;t understand at all,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;So I decided to show them pictures of poor children in other countries, and now they get it. We all take big bags of toys to Goodwill.&amp;quot;  Harmon takes pride in instilling her values in the girls. Some of the guidelines she reveres: &amp;quot;They need to know that everybody needs to be respected. There is no one on this planet who&amp;#039;s better than they are, and they aren&amp;#039;t better than anybody else. Treat others as you would have them treat you. And you&amp;#039;re not pretty on the outside unless you&amp;#039;re pretty on the inside.&amp;quot;  Navigating &amp;quot;New Girl&amp;quot; Status Although her kids were quickly settled into their new home, Harmon had concerns about managing her bicoastal life. She worried \u2014 a lot \u2014 about how she would forge a new community in North Carolina in the mere slivers of time she had there. &amp;quot;My biggest insecurity is that my personality is too much, and as I get older, it&amp;#039;s just getting bigger,&amp;quot; she acknowledges. &amp;quot;I was scared that the women in North Carolina might not like me. I get so excited about things \u2014 maybe too excited. I definitely come on strong. So I tried to rein myself in,&amp;quot; she says.  Harmon turned for reassurance to dear friend and NASCAR champ Jimmie Johnson and his wife, Chandra, who live in Charlotte and had encouraged her to move the family there. &amp;quot;They told me, &amp;#039;Don&amp;#039;t calm down; we love you for who you are,&amp;#039;&amp;quot; she recalls. As it turned out, Harmon need not have worried about her exuberant personality; it certainly didn&amp;#039;t scare anyone off. &amp;quot;Jason and I have a group of about 10 couples who opened their homes and hearts and welcomed us like nothing I have ever seen before,&amp;quot; she says, visibly moved. &amp;quot;I wasn&amp;#039;t expecting to be embraced like that.&amp;quot;  Harmon is one to reciprocate: &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m the kind of person who wants the people around me to be comfortable, to laugh, and to have a fabulous time \u2014 I want them to be as happy as I am.&amp;quot; The newfound circle isn&amp;#039;t just about playdates and parties. When Harmon is away, Sehorn and the girls often make the rounds to different families on the weekends, having breakfast at one house and later barbecuing elsewhere in the neighborhood. It&amp;#039;s that sense of community that continues to impress Harmon, who adds that she tends to be gun-shy about trusting people after having been burned in relationships in the past. (She&amp;#039;s too polite to name names or dish any details.) &amp;quot;All of these women back in North Carolina know that I am gone, and they&amp;#039;re all taking care of my children and helping my husband,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I love them so much.&amp;quot; Prayer Power This warm, family-focused embrace is different than what Harmon experienced during her own upbringing in Dallas. An only child, she describes her youth as &amp;quot;normal, but lonely&amp;quot; and recalls &amp;quot;trying to figure out things to do&amp;quot; in her apartment complex. Her parents, who were both professional models in the 1970s, divorced when she was a child. At 15, the genetically blessed part-Greek and part-Native American Harmon won Seventeen magazine&amp;#039;s cover girl search. Right after graduating from high school, she headed to Europe, where she worked for top-notch designers like Calvin Klein and Giorgio Armani.  Angie Harmon the actress emerged a few years later. A part on Baywatch Nights (the spin-off of the hit TV series Baywatch), which aired from 1995 to 1997, as a private eye eventually led to her breakout role as the conservative assistant district attorney on Law &amp;amp;amp; Order. Television roles as titanium-tough crime-fighting women have largely become her specialty. Harmon can&amp;#039;t explain why she&amp;#039;s been typecast as a gutsy civil servant, but she would gladly play anyone from the girl next door to the First Lady.  When her career hit a wall a couple of years ago, she figured it was time to shelve her acting aspirations. However, before she embraced full-time motherhood, she prayed for guidance about which path to pursue. &amp;quot;I said to God, &amp;#039;If the plan is to raise these girls, I will wholeheartedly do that, because they are so important to me,&amp;#039;&amp;quot; she recalls. &amp;quot;Once I made that transition in my heart, the [Rizzoli &amp;amp;amp; Isles] script was literally on my doorstep the next day.&amp;quot; She took that as a sign that her acting days were not yet behind her. While faith has always been a touchstone in Harmon&amp;#039;s life, it has come to play a bigger and bigger role. &amp;quot;As a mother, I can&amp;#039;t be close enough to God. I am always praying for protection,&amp;quot; says Harmon, who loves The Power of a Praying Parent book series by Stormie Omartian. Right now, she and Sehorn are &amp;quot;shopping around&amp;quot; for the right place of worship in Charlotte. It&amp;#039;s not a process they want to rush. &amp;quot;We like to talk to the people in the church, and a pastor has to be a leader to our family,&amp;quot; she says.  Until they find a pew that fits, Harmon is happy to improvise: &amp;quot;Me? I pray everywhere \u2014 in the shower, on a plane, in traffic, you name it. When I feel like I have had enough, I will literally take a knee, bow my head, and beg God for help and strength. I know not to beg Him for patience, because then He gives me situations in which I have to grow more patient; I learned that lesson! And if I am having a wonderful day, I will stop to thank Him. It&amp;#039;s a relationship.&amp;quot; Love, Trust, and Talking It Out The other key relationship in Harmon&amp;#039;s life \u2014 her marriage \u2014 is going strong at the 10-year mark. Introduced by a mutual friend in 1999, Harmon and Sehorn quickly clicked. In March of the following year, Sehorn managed to render the rambunctious Harmon nearly speechless when he crashed her guest appearance on The Tonight Show With Jay Leno and proposed on one knee. It took the flabbergasted Harmon several seconds to compose herself and exclaim, &amp;quot;Oh, my God, baby...YES!&amp;quot;  Harmon explains that she and Sehorn are the classic &amp;quot;opposites attract&amp;quot; couple. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s like a steady tugboat,&amp;quot; she explains, &amp;quot;while I bring on the shock waves.&amp;quot; She says one of the pleasures of marriage is celebrating their differences: &amp;quot;As time goes on, [I love] the different discoveries you make about each other. You think you know that person inside and out, that you know every single inch of that person, and then you find something new.&amp;quot;  For instance, Sehorn surprised her recently by revealing his vulnerable side. Says Harmon, &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s a football player, so it&amp;#039;s not like he&amp;#039;s the most emotional person. We&amp;#039;ve been through the birth of three children, and hardships that happen in life and a marriage, and I&amp;#039;d never seen him cry.&amp;quot; But on the day Harmon left to film her show in California, as the couple prepared to say good-bye, &amp;quot;I went to give him a hug. Jason&amp;#039;s got a huge chest \u2014 that&amp;#039;s one of my favorite parts about him. It&amp;#039;s like hugging a bear,&amp;quot; she says, stopping for a moment to close her eyes and sigh. &amp;quot;And when I hugged him, I felt his chest collapse. He just crumbled.&amp;quot; She hesitates for a moment, then shrugs and adds, &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s going to hate me for putting this out there, but it was so beautiful and so wonderful.&amp;quot;  Sehorn, too, has glimpsed a softer side of his spouse since their location separation kicked in. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s really seeing that I need him. I&amp;#039;m usually very much an &amp;#039;I can do it myself&amp;#039; kind of person. I always had a part of my heart that was guarded. It&amp;#039;s like, I will give you 95% of my heart, and I&amp;#039;ll keep this 5% for me just in case something goes wrong,&amp;quot; she says with surprising candor. &amp;quot;But you can&amp;#039;t go through life like that. You have to be 100% invested in the relationship.&amp;quot; So how does she overcome that self-protective instinct? &amp;quot;To be honest, I don&amp;#039;t know that I am completely there yet,&amp;quot; she says after mulling it over for a moment. &amp;quot;But I know that I continuously want to work on that pattern and change it.&amp;quot;  With a decade of marriage behind her, Harmon will attest to one rule she always follows: &amp;quot;Communication is a huge, huge thing in marriage. And it doesn&amp;#039;t matter if it&amp;#039;s uncomfortable or brings up bad stuff,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;You really have to have the guts to talk to each other.&amp;quot; Just not in front of the kids. Harmon and Sehorn will never have an all-out fight or even a disagreement in front of the girls. &amp;quot;We present a unified front,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;There&amp;#039;s just no reason to create that trouble in their hearts. I&amp;#039;ve read enough books to know that it&amp;#039;s traumatic for them.&amp;quot; She adds that she and Sehorn do hug and hold hands in front of their daughters. &amp;quot;We have to be an example of a good and healthy relationship,&amp;quot; she says. And it&amp;#039;s a traditional relationship at that, says Harmon, &amp;quot;Every night, whether we&amp;#039;re eating in or out, Jason is the one to say grace, because he&amp;#039;s the father and the head of the household.&amp;quot; And when the kids are sound asleep, Harmon prides herself on spicing things up for the Horn. Not too long ago, the couple found themselves relaxing late on a Saturday night. Harmon admits she was feeling antsy. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m dangerous when I&amp;#039;m bored,&amp;quot; she says, laughing. So she jazzed up the rules of a board game that they were playing: Sehorn had to drink a shot of tequila (there&amp;#039;s a coffee-flavored kind that he favors) if he lost a point, while Harmon had to strip if she lost one. &amp;quot;Of course, he had no idea that I had already cheated and had seven outfits on,&amp;quot; she says, with a wink. Weekend wonderland Aside from such fun and games, her weekends in North Carolina are all about family time. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ll wake up with my girls in the bed with me, and we&amp;#039;re like kittens. We&amp;#039;re all over each other, and Jason&amp;#039;s all scrunched up because we&amp;#039;ve pushed him over to the far side of the bed. I love being nestled into their necks.&amp;quot; Later, she and the kids might draw and color for a while and then head outdoors for a bike ride or a hike. In the late afternoon, country music blasts from the kitchen (Harmon loves to feed her family nutritious fare; she is a spokesperson for the Love Your Veggies campaign and has appeared in Got Milk? advertisements with her daughters). Often, the scent of her Greek chicken dish wafts throughout the house. &amp;quot;You cut up a whole chicken and put Hidden Valley Italian Ranch dressing all over it with a little Worcestershire sauce, and then you bake it. Heaven,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;My happiest time is when the girls are all running around, and I have to step over the dog to get to the fridge.&amp;quot;  So much has changed for Harmon in the past year \u2014 a new home in an unfamiliar town, a new show in the city she&amp;#039;d just left, and the challenge of being away from her loved ones. But figuring out how to make the most of these challenges is part of her nature. &amp;quot;I don&amp;#039;t ever want to get to the point where I think I know everything,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;It could be about parenting, my marriage, or my career...I just want to keep learning.&amp;quot; And whether she&amp;#039;s in North Carolina, California, or someplace in between, she&amp;#039;s set to do exactly that. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/inspirational-stories/interviews/a18761/angie-harmon-interview/>