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"FacebookPinterest\n\nTime once more for Make It Stop, in which we count down the three things that must stop.\n\n1. The apology cycle. There's an obvious, inevitable irony in Gary Oldman apologizing for a Playboy rant in which he decried celebrities always being compelled to apologize for saying offensive things. This has become a modern ritual now: Gary Oldman or Justin Bieber or Jonah Hill say something offensive, then people get pissy, then they apologize, and then we grade the apology (Jonah's apology: HEARTFELT). Meanwhile, I don't think anyone really learns anything from this process, which becomes more rote by the week.\n\nIt's no secret that Oldman, one of the finest actors in the universe, is a man who holds deeply conservative opinions, and has for quite some time. Does anyone really think he'll change his entire outlook after this slip of the tongue? I bet he's sitting at home, saying I KNEW THIS SHIT WOULD HAPPEN to his friends. He all but predicted it in his Playboy interview (\"All right. Shall I stop talking now? What else can we discuss?\"). By the end of the decade, we'll have gotten every person on Earth to apologize for saying something. And then... PROFIT.\n\nThe only thing public shaming does is compel a person to suppress their opinion and grow more resentful. It's a kind of forced superficiality, where people trip over themselves to be polite, or they say nothing at all. (Seriously, if you're a famous person now, why even bother agreeing to an interview?) This doesn't do much for human progress. It gives us all the comfort of tolerance without actually eradicating intolerance. I've said before that plenty of dickheads rail against political correctness just so they can scream out legitimately racist opinions, and that still holds true. But you should be someone with a whole sordid history of ugly behavior (hi, Mel Gibson and Donald Sterling!) to earn the scorn. Otherwise, this is all strictly apology as entertainment.\n\n2. The extreme neg-burning of the world male. I'm sure this very magazine had something to do with the trend of men shaving the sides of their scalp, but it's gotten out of control. Apparently, you're not allowed to participate in the 2014 World Cup unless you look like a Euro version of a 1956 Kansas father-in-law. Who told men this was a good look? Who was the fashion designer who looked at old '80s photos of prison skinheads and was like, \"Oh, this is the next big thing\"? These are negburns run amok. I demand a public apology.\n\n3. Sports without biting. Fun fact: Any sporting event that features one player biting another player becomes 400 percent more compelling. I remember where I was when Tyson bit Holyfield and I remember where I was when Luis Suarez of Uruguay sank his chompers into that Italian guy. That's right: Biting in sports carries the dramatic heft of a political assassination. It makes for remarkable television. \"Did he just BITE that guy? OH MY GOD HE DID HOW COULD A GROWN MAN DO THAT?\" I spent a solid day thinking about that Suarez bite: why it happened, how it happened, how I would have personally avenged such a bite, etc. Sports are already fairly unsafe, what with all the head and leg injuries. We may as well add legal biting to the mix to up the stakes. (NOTE: Competitive eating does not count as a sport.) This is how you win over America, soccer: with more vampirism."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/gary-oldman-apology-playboy>