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"This bride is NOT feeling the love! Writes Save the Date reader Dania: My future mother-in-law and future sister-in-law just don&amp;#x27;t like me. They&amp;#x27;ve never come out and said this to me or my fiance, but every time we go to his family functions, they&amp;#x27;re always super-rude to me. Either they&amp;#x27;ll attempt half-hearted small talk while making it painfully obvious that that&amp;#x27;d rather be talking to ANYONE else, or they&amp;#x27;ll just ignore me completely. My fiance and I have been together for four years, and I&amp;#x27;ve spent the entire time trying to become a part of their family. We go to all the family functions, I try to make conversation, help around the house, buy them holiday gifts, and on and on, but his mom always finds SOMETHING to complain about. (For example, she doesn&amp;#x27;t like what I&amp;#x27;m wearing.) She doesn&amp;#x27;t complain directly to me; she tells her other son who tells my fiance who tells me. My fiance has stuck up for me (thank God) and told them I&amp;#x27;m here to stay, but nothing changed. He tinks I should just confront the two of them, but I don&amp;#x27;t really want to have a, &amp;quot;So, I heard it through the grapevine&amp;quot; conversation with them. Should I just accept that I&amp;#x27;ll always be the black sheep of their family and give up, or should I keep trying? Help! Here are my thoughts: Ugh. I cannot STAND women who act like this. (She doesn&amp;#x27;t like your OUTFIT? Give me a break.) After four years of trying, I think you need to put on the brakes. I don&amp;#x27;t think you should start acting pissy and rude&amp;amp;#8212;leave that to them&amp;amp;#8212;but I also don&amp;#x27;t think you need to go out of your way for these people any more. If you start blowing off every family function, that will just give them a legitimate reason to complain, so instead, I&amp;#x27;d just go out of your way to chat up the family members who ARE nice to you. Maybe their dad? The other brother? The other brother&amp;#x27;s girlfriend? And maybe you DON&amp;#x27;T go to EVERY summer barbecue or Sunday dinner? As far as helping out goes, I&amp;#x27;d stick with the bare minimum. If they&amp;#x27;re treating you like an outsider (and not a family member) then for all intents and purposes, you&amp;#x27;re a guest. And guests don&amp;#x27;t have to take out the trash. If there&amp;#x27;s &amp;quot;job&amp;quot; that involves spending time with other family members (setting up a picnic area with some cousins) volunteer to help with that, but don&amp;#x27;t commit to drying dishes while his mom is washing and making you feel uncomfortable. And when it comes to gifts, I&amp;#x27;d let your guy shop for these two. It sounds like they&amp;#x27;ve been nothing but rude to you, and buying them gifts (i.e., being nice in the face of their rudeness) just secures your doormat status. In any event, I don&amp;#x27;t think you need to confront them, which is just going to come across as hostile. I would ask your guy to ask his brother to STOP passing on all their nasty talk. There&amp;#x27;s no reason you (or your fiance, even) had to hear the comment about your outfit. If these two women want to insult you, that should at least have the decency to insult you to your face. Ladies, what do you think? Should Dania keep working to get these women&amp;#x27;s nice side? Or should she stop trying? Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me! More reader&amp;amp;#8217;s dilemmas, solved! * Would You Change Your Name If it Meant Having Wacky Initials? * Three Brides, One Dilemma: Should Every Sibling Automatically Be Included in Your Wedding Party? * What Would You Do if Your Future Sister-in-Law Was Stealing Your Wedding Day Thunder? Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2012/11/help-my-grooms-family-hates-me>