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"This is some after-school-special stuff! Writes Save the Date reader Marina: I was married three years ago in a civil ceremony and my close friend from high school, Anna, was my maid of honor. Now my husband and I are having an official wedding (in a church, much bigger and much wedding-ier than the first) and my maid of honor assumed she&amp;#x27;d get to reprise her role. But I want to demote her&amp;amp;#8212;without ruining our friendship. Since my first wedding, I&amp;#x27;ve discovered I have a twin sister, Elena. We were put up for adoption as babies and adopted by separate families. It was a shock to us both, but we&amp;#x27;ve become super-close. So I&amp;#x27;d love to have my sister stand by my side on my wedding day. But I don&amp;#x27;t feel like Anna will take the demotion well. I never actually asked her to be my maid of honor for the second wedding, but when we announced we&amp;#x27;d be having a &amp;quot;real&amp;quot; wedding, she took it for granted that she&amp;#x27;d be MoH again. I&amp;#x27;ve hinted that I might want Elena to be my MoH this time, which prompted Anna to talk about how she&amp;#x27;s &amp;quot;earned&amp;quot; that spot because we&amp;#x27;ve been close for a much longer time than I&amp;#x27;ve even known Elena, and she implied that she&amp;#x27;d be really upset if I thought otherwise. Which makes me feel like a total douche. I don&amp;#x27;t have any other reason to replace Anna, besides that it would really mean a lot to me to have my sister by my side when I&amp;#x27;m standing in front of God. Both girls have been equally ecstatic and hands-on about helping with every little thing. Elena is being really cool and supportive and has said that she&amp;#x27;d be delighted and honored to be the MoH, but that she&amp;#x27;d completely understand if I preferred to have my friend in that place. So now I have no idea what to do. I wouldn&amp;#x27;t want to lose a lifelong friend over this, but then again, I won&amp;#x27;t be getting married again either and it would really mean a lot to share that moment with my sister. Can I ask Anna to step down? Or is that a guaranteed frienship-ender? Here are my thoughts: The only one who&amp;#x27;s being a little bit douche-y is Anna&amp;amp;#8212;but I totally get where she&amp;#x27;s coming from. I imagine if my best friend found out she had a long-lost twin sister, I&amp;#x27;d feel a little brushed aside, too. Your newfound relationship with your sister probably hasn&amp;#x27;t been easy on your best friend. Where you used to call your best friend first when you had exciting news to share, you might be inclined to call your sister now. Or if you&amp;#x27;re bored on a Friday night, you might want to have some sister-sister time where you used to want to watch movies with your bestie. That&amp;#x27;s gotta sting a little. Yes, your best friend should be happy for you. But it&amp;#x27;s probably not easy to stand on the sidelines and watch your best friend get super-friendly with someone new&amp;amp;#8212;sister or otherwise. I&amp;#x27;m not saying all this gives your best friend the license to act like a brat, but she&amp;#x27;s probably clinging to her role as Maid of Honor because it&amp;#x27;s the one thing that &amp;quot;proves&amp;quot; she hasn&amp;#x27;t been demoted as your best friend, if that makes sense. Instead of demoting Anna, why don&amp;#x27;t you promote Elena to Sister of Honor (you can list it like that in the program) and let Anna keep her title. Anna can continue to do the MoH jobs, but if Elena wants to take on a bigger role in planning your shower, or whatever, this gives her a little more leeway. Explain to Anna that you&amp;#x27;d like Elena to stand next to you during the ceremony, but other than that, nothing really has to change. If Elena wants to give a speech at the wedding, too, I&amp;#x27;d just let Anna go first. Assure Anna that Elena&amp;#x27;s not taking over as you MoH&amp;amp;#8212;or your best friend. Ladies, what do you think? Am I being too sympathetic to Anna? Should Marina kick her to the curb and call it a day? Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me! More reader&amp;amp;#8217;s dilemmas, solved! * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! I Want to Ask a Friend to Be My Maid of Honor&amp;amp;#8212;But Her Husband Just Asked Her for a Divorce!&amp;amp;#8221; * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! We&amp;amp;#8217;re Getting Gifts Before Our Wedding! Can We Use Them Yet?&amp;amp;#8221; * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! How Can I Be a Long-Distance Maid of Honor?&amp;amp;#8221; More Ways to Get Glamour: Chat with celebs, VIP fashion stars, beauty pros and more on our Facebook page! Visit Facebook.com/glamour for this month&amp;#x27;s schedule Download Glamour Magazine for your iPad--print subscribers, it&amp;#x27;s now part of your subscription plan! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter Photo: Thinkstock "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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