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" Today our reader needs a little pep talk from some supportive friends. I&amp;#x27;ll go first, you guys! She writes: &amp;quot;I went through a pretty rough breakup about three months ago. We had been dating for almost a year, had talked pretty seriously about the future, and then one day&amp;amp;#8212;bam&amp;amp;#8212;it was over, and the reason he gave me, after canceling plans one night and ignoring my calls for a week, was that he &amp;quot;wasn&amp;#x27;t happy.&amp;quot; Pretty lame and vague, I know. It was sudden&amp;amp;#8212;there was absolutely no conversation; he just kind of stopped talking to me. Obviously I was a wreck at first, but over the summer, I started casually dating and was even seeing a new guy for a few weeks. I definitely felt like I was starting to move on. But then, just this week, I feel like I have seriously regressed. I&amp;#x27;m missing him more than ever, have seriously considered reaching out to him about the possibility of trying again (we haven&amp;#x27;t had any contact since the break-up), and the thought of going on a date with another guy makes me feel sick. What gives? Is this my gut telling me to try to work things out with my ex? Is it normal to feel OK for a bit and then all of the sudden feel awful again?&amp;quot; Well, dear reader, I&amp;#x27;m no expert in what&amp;#x27;s &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot; and frankly, I don&amp;#x27;t know if I care if such behavior is &amp;quot;normal&amp;quot; or not&amp;amp;#8212;I have definitely experienced exactly what you&amp;#x27;re experiencing! You guys patiently followed along with me while I went through the recovery process of a horrible breakup, and thank goodness for all of you lending an ear, because I&amp;#x27;m not actually done yet. I&amp;#x27;ve been at it for over two years and I still have moments where sadness hits me so hard I can barely breathe, even though I&amp;#x27;ve felt perfectly cheerful for months. What I&amp;#x27;m trying to say is that recovery from a breakup isn&amp;#x27;t always a straight line. It&amp;#x27;s OK to have ups and downs and bumps in the roads and setbacks just when you thought you were in the clear. I&amp;#x27;m not saying it doesn&amp;#x27;t suck, because it soooo does, but you don&amp;#x27;t need to beat yourself up for it. On the other hand, I also don&amp;#x27;t think you need to give in to it or consider it a sign in any way. I don&amp;#x27;t think you should reach out to your ex. I truly hope this doesn&amp;#x27;t sound harsh, but he broke up with you and hasn&amp;#x27;t been in contact since, so I don&amp;#x27;t know that he would necessarily welcome you with open arms. But, more important, I don&amp;#x27;t think this is your gut telling you that&amp;#x27;s the right thing! I think it&amp;#x27;s just a moment of sadness and doubt. They happen. It&amp;#x27;s totally fine if you need to take a breather from dating other guys while you wait for this to pass, but don&amp;#x27;t give up on it altogether. Take a few days or weeks to hang out with friends, read a book that&amp;#x27;s been on your shelf for a while, or whatever else might distract you and cheer you back up. Then put yourself back out there again, and don&amp;#x27;t second-guess yourself for needing a little time, even after you thought you&amp;#x27;d moved on. It&amp;#x27;s a process, and you&amp;#x27;re doing just fine! Commenters, tell me and our reader if you&amp;#x27;ve been there before too. Are ups and downs normal on the path to total breakup recovery? More ways to survive: *Four Tips for Getting Over a Tough Breakup *Raise Your Hand If You&amp;#x27;ve Ever Handled a Breakup Exactly Like This *4 Tips to Help You Survive a Breakup Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2013/09/readers-dilemma-how-do-i-deal-1>