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"FacebookPinterestlebronplayoffs.png\n\nLike the rest of the galaxy, we at GQ are riveted by the slow-burn mystery of LeBron James's next employer. All shall be revealed tonight at 9pm on ESPN in a climactic, hour-long special that will be totally natural and not the least bit shameless and manufactured and unnecessary. (Oh yeah, sorry, Bron Bron is doing it for charity. It's shameless, manufactured and unnecessary, but for all the right reasons.) So, having gathered all the reams of disinformation, the GQ staff is ready, at this late hour, to make our uninformed predictions. We gave everyone in the office a shot, for a $10 entry fee. But the winner will not be giving the money to charity, because that's not how we roll. No, the winner will be giving the money right back to LeBron. We'll use it to buy him a welcome\u2014or welcome back!\u2014gift, just to see if we get a thank-you note. After the jump, our staffers make their predictions and offer a brief explanation why.\n\n DEVIN FRIEDMAN [alert: Cleveland native]\n\n Prediction: Cleveland Cavaliers\n\n \"Better to bet with your heart, and then lose with your heart, and then be miserable. That's how it's done in C Town!\"\n\nJOEL LOVELL\n\n Prediction: New York Knicks\n\n 'My rationale is unoriginal, but: can't win if he stays in Cleveland, at least not next year. Despite all the hoo-ha, he and Wade know they shouldn't be sharing the court/ball/spotlight. Would probably be best off in Chicago, where there's a great point guard, but totally unsatisfying if he plays where Jordan played. Which leaves the Knicks. Curiously, they just started renovating the place next to me in Park Slope. I can't believe LeBron is going to be my neighbor! See you at Grumpy Coffee!\"\n\nSARAH GOLDSTEIN\n\n Prediction: Maccabi-Tel Aviv \n\n Reasons:\n\n \"1. Next ESPN hourlong special: LeBron announces three-state solution in Greenwich, Connecticut.\n\nTel Aviv is like Miami x 10. More gel, more kvetching, more orange.He wants to play where he can truly dominate. No question, he will be the greatest athlete in the country in any sport.Doesn't the \"Chosen 1\" need to return home for end days to happen?\"\n\nDAN FIERMAN\n\n Prediction: Cleveland Cavaliers\n\n \"I'm sticking by my guns\u2014despite the avalanche of reporting to the contrary. Re-signs with Cleveland with a Year Three opt out so he can join Hova and the Mad Russian in Brooklyn if they don't win.\"\n\nWILL WELCH\n\n Prediction: None of the above\n\n \"The Decision: LeBron says \"Knicks,\" then \"Just kidding,\" then \"Suckerrrrrrrrrrrs\" then announces he's building a corporate bio-dome in Akron from which he'll run Nike, Vitamin Water, McDonalds, Microsoft, etc. He's a business, man.\"\n\nRAHA NADDAF\n\n Prediction: Houston Rockets.\n\n \"Boom. Why? Because Hakeem is the dream. Duh.\"\n\nMIKE BENOIST\n\n Prediction: New York Knicks\n\n \"Call me a homer. They, of course, have no money left to fill out the roster. Luckily, LeBron remembers a shooting guard from a pickup game he played in not too long ago.\"\n\nDANIEL RILEY\n\n Prediction: Miami Heat\n\n \"Because ESPN has 'several sources with knowledge of the situation'.\"\n\nMARK HEALY\n\n Prediction: Los Angeles Clippers\n\n \"If he doesn't join CNN to take Larry King's slot at nine\u2014with Suze Orman as a personal finance dream team\u2014I think he'll go to the Clippers, because that's where Marko Jaric played.\"\n\nKEVIN SINTUMUANG\n\n Prediction: Chicago White Sox farm team\n\nDEVIN GORDON\n\n Prediction: New York Knicks\n\n \"Because the Knicks wisely waited till the very last minute to unleash their biggest gun. Yes, Isiah Thomas will close this deal. I know in my gut that he can pull this off. Why? Because he's never let me down before. Go ahead and argue with that. Right. You can't.\""^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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