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"As I mentioned in yesterday&amp;#039;s post, this is going to be my third Christmas since Peter walked out the door. I&amp;#039;ve learned a few things in the time since that happened, and if you&amp;#039;re new to the getting-a-divorce rollercoaster, I&amp;#039;d like to share my insights.  Don&amp;#039;t overcompensate with your kids. I cannot stress this enough. I went hog-wild that first post-Peter Christmas, and spent entirely too much money on my kids. It took me months to dig out of the financial hole and for what? No matter what I did, it was still going to be their first Christmas split between the two of us. No amount of high priced gifts will ever change that, or make it better. It was what it was, and they didn&amp;#039;t need half of what I gave them. Start some traditions of your own. You&amp;#039;re a family still, even if you don&amp;#039;t feel the same. You need some traditions that are unique to your new family unit. The kids and I now celebrate Charlie Brown Thanksgiving the weekend before Thanksgiving and it&amp;#039;s become tradition. We also view &amp;quot;The Muppet Christmas Carol&amp;quot; as a family movie night the first weekend we&amp;#039;re together in December, and whether it happens on Christmas or not, we always take a moonlit walk together on the night of the first snowfall of the season. These are the things that bring you together, and more importantly, these are the way memories are made. Don&amp;#039;t necessarily expect your ex to be on his (or her) best behavior just because it&amp;#039;s the holiday season. Expect them to act exactly as they normally would, and let it roll right off your back. The season (and life) is too short to let them drag you down. Make time for moments of peace in your life. Every morning, I come downstairs before the kids wake up, make a cup of hot tea, turn on the Christmas tree and sit on the couch, savoring the quiet in the twinkling glow of the lights. It centers me, and starts my day off right. Find a way to make it about more than you and your family. I don&amp;#039;t have a lot of money - I&amp;#039;m sure that&amp;#039;s apparent. But I can find some canned goods to give to a food drive. I can buy an inexpensive toy and donate it to Toys For Tots. I can bake a meal and take it to a great neighbor who&amp;#039;s helped me out all year. And even better, I can get the kids involved and they can help me do it all. We might not have much, but many have less. We need to do what we can to help them.  The holidays can be stressful when you&amp;#039;re going it alone. Believe me, I know. Just keep reminding yourself of what&amp;#039;s really important in your life, and keep the focus firmly on what you&amp;#039;ve got instead of what you think you&amp;#039;ve lost. Trust me, as time goes by, you&amp;#039;ll realize you haven&amp;#039;t lost all that you thought you did. And what you&amp;#039;ve gained might just be worth it. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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