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"John* and I were hardly engaged, but we&amp;amp;#8217;d been hanging out at least four nights a week for two months, and I&amp;amp;#8217;d even met his mother. We got along so well that our friends often joked we were too good to be true. And&amp;amp;#8230;drumroll, please&amp;amp;#8230;we were. One night he invited me to dinner, and when I got to the restaurant he was sitting next to another woman, playing with her hair. Does he have a long-lost sister? I thought, until I noticed that she was rubbing his arm in a very un-sisterly way. &amp;amp;#8220;This is Amy,&amp;amp;#8221; he said nonchalantly. &amp;amp;#8220;Hi,&amp;amp;#8221; she said dreamily, then kissed him on the cheek. Evidently he&amp;amp;#8217;d met someone else, and his feelings for her were so profound that he wanted me (just his friend with benefits, I guess?!) to meet her. I suddenly understood how Charlie Shanian must have felt when he found out that his marriage to Tori Spelling was over by reading about her engagement to Dean McDermott in Us Weekly. I was stunned&amp;amp;#8212;in such a state of shock that I actually sat down and ate dinner with the jerks. Then I threw a twenty on the table and tried to leave, but they wanted to share a cab! I would&amp;amp;#8217;ve gladly walked home, all four miles, to spare myself the torture of having to watch him massage her neck the whole way there. They deposited me at my apartment and continued on to his place. Heartless! I never did get an explanation from John. It took me a month and a lot of Coldplay to rebound, but eventually I got over my humiliation enough to share my embarrassing story with other women, who happily countered with doozies of their own. There&amp;amp;#8217;s something about commiserating with fellow dumpees that makes getting jilted sting a little less. So without further ado, I give you the craziest breakup tales I&amp;amp;#8217;ve ever heard. Read these, feel the camaraderie and above all, consider this an order to move on! He left me a 17-minute voice message: &amp;amp;#8220;A few hours before I was supposed to meet my boyfriend at a baseball game, he left me a voice mail rambling on about his &amp;amp;#8216;amazing, gorgeous&amp;amp;#8217; ex, how he really missed her and how she might move back to town. It went on for 17 minutes. I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t know my voice mail could hold that much! I ended up going to the game alone&amp;amp;#8212;that psycho message made it really easy to get over him.&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Sharron, 30 He dumped me before a funeral: &amp;amp;#8220;My boyfriend of a year was nice enough to drive me to the airport so I could catch a flight to my grandma&amp;amp;#8217;s funeral, but mean enough to break up with me as we were saying goodbye. &amp;amp;#8216;You&amp;amp;#8217;re not my type,&amp;amp;#8217; he said, &amp;amp;#8216;and I don&amp;amp;#8217;t think you&amp;amp;#8217;d fit in with my family.&amp;amp;#8217; All I could think was, Wow, I&amp;amp;#8217;m glad you&amp;amp;#8217;re not meeting mine!&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Alison, 27 He did it in a text message: &amp;amp;#8220;I went on half a dozen dates with a guy who seemed really great. Then one night he canceled plans at the last minute, and when I asked what was going on, I got this text message: &amp;amp;#8216;This is exactly why I can&amp;amp;#8217;t function in a relationship now, if ever. I&amp;amp;#8217;m sorry but I quit. Back to the therapist.&amp;amp;#8217; Better the couch than me!&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Janelle, 34 He hid from me&amp;amp;#8212;literally: &amp;amp;#8220;About two years ago I started dating my best guy friend. After daily contact for 14 months, he suddenly and inexplicably began avoiding me. We lived in the same neighborhood, and whenever I saw him on the street, he&amp;amp;#8217;d actually hide behind bushes or other large objects&amp;amp;#8212;once, even a trash can!&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Gina, 19 He made up a terrible accident: &amp;amp;#8220;I was dating a man who lived in a different town, and several months into our relationship he called to say I should cancel my plans to visit. His reason: He&amp;amp;#8217;d been in a terrible car accident and his friend, the driver, had been killed. Worried sick about him, I immediately drove the six hours to his house and knocked on his front door. No one answered at first, so I waited on his stoop until another woman&amp;amp;#8212;his live-in girlfriend, I soon learned&amp;amp;#8212;opened the door and asked what I was doing there. Turns out there was no accident, except for the fact that I dated that loser!&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Sarah, 35 He used my taste in music as an excuse: &amp;amp;#8220;I dated a guy who was seriously into rap music. It wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t my thing, but when I learned how important it was to him, I studied up. But hard as I tried, he sensed that my interest wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t genuine. &amp;amp;#8216;I don&amp;amp;#8217;t want to be with you anymore,&amp;amp;#8217; he said one day. &amp;amp;#8216;You don&amp;amp;#8217;t really appreciate my music.&amp;amp;#8217; What it really came down to was him not appreciating me.&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Erica B., 24 He made his mommy do it: &amp;amp;#8220;My boyfriend and I dated all through high school, and when we moved to different states for college we decided to stay together. Everything was going really well until November of our freshman year, when I got a call from his mother, who had always liked me&amp;amp;#8212;or so I thought. &amp;amp;#8216;He doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t love you anymore,&amp;amp;#8217; she said curtly, &amp;amp;#8216;and don&amp;amp;#8217;t even try to communicate with him. You&amp;amp;#8217;re in college now, and you both need to move on.&amp;amp;#8217; She was right&amp;amp;#8212;who wants to date a guy who relies on his mother to do his dirty work?&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Stephanie, 30 He left me on Christmas Eve: &amp;amp;#8220;A few years ago on the night before Christmas, my boyfriend kissed me good night, told me he loved me and said that he&amp;amp;#8217;d come to bed shortly. The next morning I woke up alone. I went downstairs, thinking he&amp;amp;#8217;d just fallen asleep on the couch, until I saw a Dear John letter&amp;amp;#8212;in my case, a Dear Christine letter&amp;amp;#8212;on the table explaining we were &amp;amp;#8216;just too different.&amp;amp;#8217; I was heartbroken and confused. What grown man scurries away on Christmas Eve, besides Santa Claus?&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Christine, 24 He pretended to have a &amp;amp;#8220;wife&amp;amp;#8221;: &amp;amp;#8220;I dated a guy who wanted to hang out every single minute of every single day. Then suddenly he disappeared without any explanation. Instead, he sent a mutual friend to my house to tell me that he was really married with kids, and that he couldn&amp;amp;#8217;t handle the guilt anymore. I freaked out and told some other mutual friends, who finally spilled the real truth&amp;amp;#8212;he wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t married after all; he just didn&amp;amp;#8217;t want to hurt my feelings. That was his idea of letting me down easy?&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Erica R., 24 He proposed, then dumped me: &amp;amp;#8220;I had been with my boyfriend for over a year, and we were madly in love. I definitely thought that he was the one, and when he got down on the floor, pulled a diamond ring out of his pocket and popped the question, I was ecstatic. An hour later, just as I was about to call my family, he told me that he had &amp;amp;#8216;suddenly&amp;amp;#8217; realized he wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t ready for commitment and in fact was considering moving away. That was seven years ago. I can&amp;amp;#8217;t believe it, but we&amp;amp;#8217;re actually friends now. And yes, he&amp;amp;#8217;s still single.&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8212;Jacky, 29 *Some names have been changed."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2007/10/dumped>