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"  Lucky for us, comedian and NPR host Ophira Eisenberg likes to kiss and tell. Her debut memoir, Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way To Monogamy, is a hilarious account of years of wild and bizarre sexcapades (including one with a guy whose apartment was home to a robust stuffed Garfield collection.) Once a casual sex-loving commitment-phobe, Eisenberg became the one thing she most feared: a married woman. Who says people don&amp;#039;t change? I spoke with Eisenberg about sex, love and reading Gloria Steinem during cunnilingus. What is the cringiest experience in the book? I went home with a guy, a one-night stand kind of guy, and he revealed a bedroom full of about, I don&amp;#039;t know, 300 Garfields?! This man was in his thirties with a massive Garfield collection! Needless to say, I didn&amp;#039;t get it. And then I wondered...if I did really well, would I get one from the top shelf? And, yes, I still had sex with him. Sad to say, but I was far from home and I wanted to get my money&amp;#039;s worth on a fresh bikini wax. What is the most important lesson you learned from all your dating and fun flings? I found that good matches aren&amp;#039;t so much based on what you have in common with someone, but rather whose crap you can best stomach. I know that doesn&amp;#039;t sound incredibly romantic, but trust me on this one. Given the choice\u2014what do you want to fight about in a relationship: dirty dishes? Or emotional unavailability? How have your feelings about marriage and commitment changed? Comfort, commitment, and contentment used to be dirty words to me, but now I understand they don&amp;#039;t mean giving up your life, moving to the suburbs, buying Luna bars in bulk at Costco, and fantasizing about hiring a landscaper. On the other hand, hanging out at bars for years on end and picking up different guys wasn&amp;#039;t exactly a sustainable plan. It&amp;#039;s like particle-board furniture: it&amp;#039;s cute for a while, but after years and years of wear and tear, it looks like cheap crap! Loyalty and commitment are really important to me now. They feel good, but I had to get to that point. I did it when I was ready. How does your husband feel about the book? Does it make him jealous or insecure to read about your past relationships? He&amp;#039;s read it and he likes it\u2014thank god. That would be awkward. There were some chapters that he read and came to me afterward saying, &amp;quot;Whoa, you slept with more people in that chapter than I did in college!&amp;quot; How was I to respond? &amp;quot;Just lucky I guess?&amp;quot; We all have different relationship trajectories and mine involved a large sample size. But I also think he&amp;#039;s glad we met when we did. Do you consider yourself a feminist? Do you consider the book a feminist take on sex? I do consider myself a feminist but I&amp;#039;m not sure what a feminist take on sex is\u2014is that reading Gloria Steinem while a guy goes down on you? If so\u2013 sounds kinda hot, actually. But yes, I absolutely believe in being in charge of your own life, body, and bank account. And I&amp;#039;ve always loved the company of men. What do you want people, particularly young women, to get out of the book? Mostly I want people to laugh and be entertained by this book. But this is a story about figuring out what you like, and how you like it, and then getting it. I did this by saying &amp;quot;yes&amp;quot; to almost everyone and it worked for me. The sleeping around paid off! Also, just because I dated pre-Land of Facebook and Twitter, doesn&amp;#039;t mean it was any less complicated. Forget about accidentally deleting a status update, try un-sending a letter! Anything else you would like to tell Cosmo readers? Never put up with bad sex! One of the benefits of sleeping around that people fail to mention is that you have a much better chance of stumbling across a gem or two. It&amp;#039;s the law of slutty averages. And once you experience someone with real skills, it&amp;#039;s very hard to go back. I&amp;#039;ll never regret understanding that. Photo Credit: flickr.com/photos/uwgbadmissions/ Want more musings from Rose? Follow her on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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