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"&amp;quot;In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage.&amp;quot; ~ Robert Anderson I came across that quote last week, and I&amp;#039;ve been giving it a lot of thought. I look back on my marriage and I think that one of the things that bothers me the most is the lack of closure. When Peter decided to have his final affair, we were going through a rough time in our lives. David had just been diagnosed with autism, our business was failing and we were drowning in debt. I figured we&amp;#039;d just ride out the bad times and get through it like always, but Peter didn&amp;#039;t see it that way. Instead, he seemed to see every flaw I had through a magnifying glass, and suddenly every minor issue between us grew to epic proportions. I realized later that he was comparing me and his life with me to his few hours a week of fantasy with his other woman and I was coming up short, of course. In his other world, there were no bills to pay, no sick or whiney kids, no laundry to be done or stir-fry chicken for dinner again when you really wanted steak. Until I discovered that, though, I spent a whole lot of time clinging to every single reason why we should stay together. In short, I was finding reasons to stay married while he was finding every reason he could to justify divorce. It bothered me, when we finally had it all out, that he didn&amp;#039;t even feel like trying. He didn&amp;#039;t suggest counseling, didn&amp;#039;t want to talk about anything, but still for months insisted that a &amp;quot;temporary&amp;quot; separation would make all the difference in the world and we might not get divorced. I knew better. I knew it was just his cowardly way of getting away so he could try out his new arrangement and then divorce me anyway without having to see my face every day. He never really tried. He never looked for any of the good we could have saved, but chose to focus on all that was wrong \u2013 without the slightest urge to work with me to fix it. I really don&amp;#039;t know if we could have been fixed, but I would like to be able to say that we both tried. I think we owed that to our children, if not to ourselves. Do you feel like you and your ex really tried to fix things? Or do you feel like it was so far beyond fixing that trying would have made it worse? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a42321/grounds-for-marriage-13079/>