<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"I&amp;#039;ve been dating this guy for a month, and he&amp;#039;s really great. The only issue is he&amp;#039;s a really bad kisser. It&amp;#039;s messy, he licks all over my mouth, there&amp;#039;s too much saliva. At times, I feel he&amp;#039;s not so much kissing me as just licking away at my mouth and teeth. It&amp;#039;s just awful. I&amp;#039;ve tried telling him what I like when we&amp;#039;re kissing and he would do it for a few seconds, and then it&amp;#039;s back to messy kissing. I feel skirting around the issue will not help, but I also don&amp;#039;t want to flat-out say I don&amp;#039;t like the way he&amp;#039;s kissing because it&amp;#039;ll hurt his feelings. How do I go about this? &amp;#039;Cause if he doesn&amp;#039;t improve, I&amp;#039;ll break up with him and I&amp;#039;m hoping not to &amp;#039;cause I like him. Kissing is, honestly, a weird human practice. Take a half-step back and even the sweetest kiss is a bit bizarre: Saliva is unsanitary; smooching puts you at risk of contagious infections; and rubbing tongues is just plain weird. Maybe that&amp;#039;s why kids&amp;#039; first impression of tonsil hockey is that it&amp;#039;s totally gross.  Which is all to say: Who knows what makes a kiss good or bad, other than that it turns you on? Some people like slobber. Some like biting and purple-bruise hickies. And some people like a little peck on the lips. Imagine what your boyfriend might write to me: Maybe he would ask me to explain why his more-restrained girlfriend doesn&amp;#039;t appreciate his passionate slobber. That said, Ew. Your boyfriend sounds like a horrific kisser whose lascivious licking could be the kiss of death for your relationship. So do something. Tell him he&amp;#039;s a lousy kisser and don&amp;#039;t sugarcoat it, because apparently he&amp;#039;ll lick that sugar right off anyway.  Now, you don&amp;#039;t necessarily have to say, &amp;quot;Darling, I have been licked by dogs with more finesse.&amp;quot; Or: &amp;quot;Dating you is like being in the NBA: Every time the action stops, I have to towel off my face.&amp;quot; Or: &amp;quot;I never thought I&amp;#039;d have to wear a bib on a date.&amp;quot; But be clear.  Tell him that you like so many things about him but\u2026 Then, in stronger language than you&amp;#039;ve already used, explain that these tongue-bath facials are really not doing it for you. It will hurt his feelings. But you have to hurt his feelings because there&amp;#039;s no other way.  You&amp;#039;ve got nothing to lose, because if you don&amp;#039;t tell him it&amp;#039;s absolutely unacceptable, he won&amp;#039;t change and you&amp;#039;ll end up breaking up with him anyway. Telling him the hard truth in firm language is the only way your relationship will have a spitting chance at a less soppy future.  My boyfriend of a year broke up with me in March, through a text message. He told me he didn&amp;#039;t see a future with me, and for three months we hardly spoke until about June. Then we met for drinks and hooked up and have continued to do so since then. He keeps saying he doesn&amp;#039;t want a relationship and then tells me he is confused. I want to move on and also punch him in the face, but at the same time, I still really care about him. What is my best move? We&amp;#039;ve all been there. I think everyone who&amp;#039;s ever cared about someone and broken up afterward has (1) wanted to have sex a few more times, (2) been confused by mixed feelings, and (3) known, on some level, that it&amp;#039;s really over. Of course you still care about him. You cared enough about this guy to stick with him for a year \u2014 and I&amp;#039;m sure you had some good times, up until that ill-fated, rude text. (Seriously, do guys ever break up in person anymore? Or are they all just wusses?) But there&amp;#039;s a difference between acknowledging that you don&amp;#039;t simply start hating someone the moment you break up and recognizing that someone is bad for you. You can see someone&amp;#039;s good side and still recognize that they&amp;#039;re wrong for you. Your guy might be great for you in bed and terrible elsewhere.  When he tells you he doesn&amp;#039;t want a relationship, he means it. I know so many women who want to believe that a guy secretly wants a relationship but is too afraid to admit it, but the truth is that guys typically lie in the opposite direction: They&amp;#039;re vastly more likely make false promises about getting serious. Right now, he gets to have fun \u2014 and he gets to have sex \u2014 without offering you what you want and deserve. You know this isn&amp;#039;t healthy. You know that you need to move on. So do it.  You don&amp;#039;t have to punch him in the face. But you do need to get on with your life. Tell him it&amp;#039;s over. Really over. And since he was such a jerk about breaking up the first time via text, you don&amp;#039;t even have to do it in person. Call him up if you&amp;#039;d like. But don&amp;#039;t text. Nobody, not even your jerk, deserves to be dumped by emoji. And you&amp;#039;ll feel better knowing that you were adult enough to confront him directly. I just got out of a very long relationship (six years to be exact). All my friends came to be my significant other&amp;#039;s friends and stayed that way after the breakup. How can I meet new friends? First, I hope you know that you don&amp;#039;t have to let go of friends just because they became friends with your ex. Even if you can&amp;#039;t stand to be in the same room with your ex, you don&amp;#039;t have to completely reboot your life. Even if the breakup was ugly (and even if you did something regrettable), I&amp;#039;m sure your friends still care about you. That said, how do adults make new friends? That&amp;#039;s a great question: Sometimes, it seems like it&amp;#039;s a whole lot easier to get laid than to find a lunch date. It seems like most of us find friends through work, school, family, and dating, but you can&amp;#039;t really force that stuff. You&amp;#039;re either in those environments or you&amp;#039;re not. So what else is there?  It probably used to be easier to make friends. As Robert Putnam explained in his book Bowling Alone, Americans used to find like-minded friends by joining community groups, from men&amp;#039;s clubs and churches to, yes, bowling leagues. Most of those organizations are on the decline, but I&amp;#039;d still argue that there are plenty of places that you can find people who care about similar things. I&amp;#039;m not saying it&amp;#039;s easy to make friends. But I do know one thing: If you follow your own interests, they&amp;#039;ll lead you toward other people who share them. Join a gym, a yoga studio, a rock-climbing club, a new church, a charity group, a book club, or an anarcho-feminist knitting collective. Dig deeper into a hobby, whether that&amp;#039;s swimming or golf or cycling or cooking by signing up for a class or joining a club, league, or team. Become a regular at a restaurant or caf\u00E9 and chat with the barista or bartender. Try becoming part of something bigger than yourself.  Also, the Internet isn&amp;#039;t just for finding one-night stands. It&amp;#039;s never been easier to connect with other people online who share your enthusiasms or to ask them out for coffee. You could reach out to a Facebook friend you haven&amp;#039;t seen in a while, or a Facebook friend of a friend who seems cool, or someone on Twitter who shares your same interests. (Approaching strangers online is not just for creeps!)  The bottom line (which, I admit, sounds stupid): To make friends, don&amp;#039;t wait for friends to come to you; go out and be friendly. Sometimes, it doesn&amp;#039;t hurt to make the first move, even if you&amp;#039;re just looking for a pal.  Do you have a question for Logan about sex or relationships? Ask him here. Follow Logan on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a30566/ask-logan-boyfriend-horrible-kisser/>