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"Could you invite one parent to your wedding but not the other? Hmm ... Writes Save the Date reader Coral: I don&amp;amp;#8217;t want my mother at my wedding. She has borderline personality disorder&amp;amp;#8212;think Mommy Dearest&amp;amp;#8212;and refuses to treat it. She has been horrible to me my entire life. The only interest she&amp;amp;#8217;s shown regarding my wedding is talking about what kind of dress SHE should wear. The problem is, I do want my dad there. And if I invite him and not her&amp;amp;#8212;they&amp;amp;#8217;re still married&amp;amp;#8212;it will be asking him to choose sides. A few years ago, my parents paid for my sister&amp;amp;#8217;s wedding entirely. They&amp;amp;#8217;re not helping pay for our wedding because of my mom and her narcissistic ways. She just sees an opportunity to be mean to me, and she&amp;amp;#8217;s taking it. (It&amp;amp;#8217;s not like they&amp;amp;#8217;re experiencing financial hardship or anything.) I got a second job to pay for the wedding, which is being held out of state. So here&amp;amp;#8217;s my question: Would it be wrong to invite my father&amp;amp;#8212;and offer to pay for his flight and hotel&amp;amp;#8212;and not my mother? I&amp;amp;#8217;m afraid he won&amp;amp;#8217;t come because he won&amp;amp;#8217;t want to endure her wrath, but I really want my dad to walk me down the aisle. Here are my thoughts: One of my dear friends growing up had a mother with borderline personality disorder, so I can only imagine the sort of craziness you&amp;amp;#8217;re living with. I&amp;amp;#8217;m so sorry that with all the stress of wedding planning, you have to deal with that, too. Here&amp;amp;#8217;s the thing though: I don&amp;amp;#8217;t think you can ask your dad and not your mom. Of course you want your dad there on your wedding day, but he has to live with your mom every day before your wedding and every day after. And if he decides to go to the wedding and leave her behind, chances are she&amp;amp;#8217;ll flip. (I&amp;amp;#8217;m assuming that&amp;amp;#8217;s what you meant when you said he&amp;amp;#8217;d have to &amp;amp;#8220;endure her wrath.&amp;amp;#8221;) I do think you can keep your distance from your mom and not involve her in the wedding planning. In fact, I think things will be a lot easier for you if you have contact with her only when it&amp;amp;#8217;s absolutely, positively necessary. Clearly she&amp;amp;#8217;s going to go out of her way to make the wedding-planning process an unhappy one&amp;amp;#8212;and I think you should do everything you can not to engage her. From what I understand of borderline personality disorder, even the most innocuous comment from anyone (you, your father, a random waiter) could lead your mom to have a total meltdown. Which is why I think on your wedding day, you&amp;amp;#8217;re going to want to have a LOT of people &amp;amp;#8220;handling&amp;amp;#8221; her so she doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t wind up ruining everything for you. Talk to your wedding party, your siblings, and the person in charge of the venue, and ask them to make sure your mom&amp;amp;#8217;s always busy or otherwise distracted. And also talk to your father. If he&amp;amp;#8217;s been married to your mom for a few decades, I&amp;amp;#8217;m sure he knows the best way to handle her mood swings&amp;amp;#8212;as wildly unpredictable as they might be. Make sure he knows that, even though you&amp;amp;#8217;re hugely frustrated with your mother, it&amp;amp;#8217;s still important to you that he&amp;amp;#8217;s there on your wedding day. And if that means she has to be there, too, then so be it. In the mean time, even if your mom won&amp;amp;#8217;t see a psychiatrist, I think it would definitely be in your best interest to. She won&amp;amp;#8217;t be able to fix everything that&amp;amp;#8217;s going on between you and your mom, but she should be able to give you some coping strategies&amp;amp;#8212;and at the very least, you&amp;amp;#8217;ll have someone to vent to. Ladies, what do you think? Am I totally off base? Is there a way for Coral to invite her dad and not her mom? Or does she need to invite both parents if she wants her dad to walk her down the aisle? Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me! More readers&amp;amp;#8217; dilemmas, solved! * &amp;amp;#8220;I&amp;amp;#8217;m Marrying a Divorced Man. Will it Be &amp;amp;#8217;Til Death Do Us Part?&amp;amp;#8221; * &amp;amp;#8220;My Dates Always Choose Chain Restaurants, Which I Secretly Hate!&amp;amp;#8221; * &amp;amp;#8220;I Had a One-Night Stand. Now I Want to Date Him! How?&amp;amp;#8221; What&amp;amp;#8217;s With All the Spam in the Comments Section? Sick of all those annoying ads in the comments section lately? So are we! 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