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"  While there were quite a few memorable moments in last night&amp;#039;s VMAs, I gotta say, Miley &amp;quot;Just Being Miley&amp;quot; Cyrus&amp;#039;s turn onstage takes the cake for what I&amp;#039;ll certainly remember from the awards show (actually, what&amp;#039;ll be burned into my brain) until I&amp;#039;m in a nursing home.   As you undoubtedly already know, there were enough eerie fetishes in her performance to fill a 3-floor swinger&amp;#039;s club. Let&amp;#039;s unpack this, Kinsey-style, shall we?   Miley emerges from behind massive teddy bear with laser beam eyes, performs &amp;quot;We Can&amp;#039;t Stop&amp;quot; with life-sized teddy bears. Not only would this attract furries, people who are sexually attracted to anthropomorphic animals, but the sexual attraction to teddy bears specifically is known as Ursusagalmatophilia, or &amp;quot;Sir, Put That Away, I&amp;#039;m Going To Need To Escort You Out of The Build-A-Bear Workshop.&amp;quot;  Drake hilariously averts his eyes. I feel you, Drizzy.   Miley is wearing a fur teddy. Certain people respond to the stimulus of fur during sex, thereby explaining the true motives of Cruella DeVille.   Analingus. #beingmiley  Miley grinds and twerks against the junk of a bemused-looking Robin Thicke while the two duet on &amp;quot;Blurred Lines.&amp;quot; Non-penetrative sexual rubbing, a.k.a. frottage, is a fun STD-free activity that&amp;#039;s particularly classy when performed onstage, in front of America.   Miley uses a version of that foam hand designed for sporting events to reach between her legs and stimulate herself as well as Thicke. Public masturbation is always a good idea when the primary audience is an average of 14 years old.    On a more serious note, Miley&amp;#039;s been accused of appropriating &amp;quot;minstrel culture&amp;quot; in the performance, and has long been accused of playing with working-class black &amp;quot;ratchet&amp;quot; stereotypes \u2014 which is certainly a valid thing to look at.   But in their recap of the show, the New York Times referred to Cyrus&amp;#039; actions during the performance as &amp;quot;a molestation of Robin Thicke,&amp;quot; which seems a little hyperbolic. I mean, the dude did position himself behind the twerk, and he certainly didn&amp;#039;t seem to be having a problem with it. He also gave her a shoutout after the show.     That was dope. Shout out to @MileyCyrus @kendricklamar @2chainz #VMA pic.twitter.com/Lva7RV8tAG \u2014 Robin Thicke (@robinthicke) August 26, 2013   Want more from Anna? Follow her on Twitter.  Image via Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/entertainment/celebs/news/a15359/miley-cyrus-vmas-twerking-grinding-fetish/>