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" When I first met Oprah Winfrey in the summer of 1992, I had no idea I would become her personal trainer. I was working at a spa in Colorado and was assigned to oversee her fitness regimen during her three-week stay. At the time, she was at her heaviest: 237 pounds. As we hiked the mountains, I learned a great deal about her. She was physically strong, knew how to eat a healthy diet, and accepted that it was in her best interest to exercise. Still, as our talks grew more personal, I saw that there were things about herself that she was either not facing or unaware of that prevented her from losing weight and keeping it off. It was clear that Oprah used food as a buffer against stress or unpleasant emotions.  Overeating is a common coping mechanism. For many, like Oprah, certain personality traits and emotional issues are at the root of the problem. The more complex someone&amp;#039;s issues are, the more difficult permanent weight loss becomes. Those I&amp;#039;ve worked with who definitively change their weight also change the way they think. They are successful at what I call &amp;quot;making the connection,&amp;quot; which means they act out of self-acceptance and self-love.  When I became Oprah&amp;#039;s personal trainer in 1993, she began to recognize her behavior patterns and motivations. Knowing who you are is an important first step for anyone who wants to control her weight. A journal is one of the best ways to get started. As I write this, I am reminded of one remarkable woman, a 40-year-old mother of three from Ohio named Laura Quinn, with whom I&amp;#039;ve been corresponding since we met a year and a half ago. Though she needed to lose a considerable amount of weight (180 pounds), her story illustrates a universal point: We must face the truth about why we eat. And it can often be painful.  Here is part of a letter Laura sent to Oprah, that got her selected as a guest on The Oprah Winfrey Show&amp;#039;s 1995 &amp;quot;Spring Training&amp;quot; series:  ...I have a history similar to yours emotionally. The mental abuse, the physical abuse. In my case, my father left when I was young, and I have continuous feelings of loneliness, of emptiness, no matter what a wonderful life surrounds me. I am sometimes afraid to lose the weight.... What if I still hate myself as a thin person?... My dream...is to stop hiding...I dream of swimming with my children and my husband and not having to worry that I will embarrass them. I dream of planning a trip and not worrying if I will fit into the seat on the airplane...I dream of loving myself.  When Laura appeared on the show and told her story, the entire audience was in tears, including Oprah. Over the next few months, Laura lost 36 pounds. But I later learned that she regained it all, plus some. Though she was eager to slim down, Laura had not fully addressed the psychological reasons holding her back. It wasn&amp;#039;t until after she began counseling last fall that she started making real progress. She&amp;#039;s now 59 pounds lighter and continues to lose weight each month. Self-acceptance is the key.  For most people, permanent weight loss is not quite the uphill battle it is for Laura, but it&amp;#039;s still a major challenge. Changing your behaviors, especially those that have been in place for years, is one of the most difficult things to do \u2014 but also one of the most rewarding. And there&amp;#039;s no time to start like today.  First, you need to find a healthy eating and exercise program that works for you. Then, for at least the first three months of your weight-loss program, write in a journal twice a day. When you wake up, write down:  Your goals for eating right and exercising \u2014 what I call your &amp;quot;renewal statement.&amp;quot; The physical act of going to your journal helps reaffirm your commitment.  During the day, write down:  Your general feelings about food, exercise, and life.  Everything you drink and eat, including snacks, for the first week (after that, you&amp;#039;ll get bored). Keep track of fat grams.  Why, when, and what you ate because of stress or emotion (for example, &amp;quot;Today I ate a bag of potato chips because I was upset with my boss&amp;quot;).  Any really good or bad events.  What you did for exercise (what type, how many minutes, how intense).  Your overall rating of how your day went. Oprah uses letter grades, as in &amp;quot;This was an A+ day.&amp;quot;  Your evening reflection: Describe your day and determine how you can improve tomorrow.  At the end of a week, it&amp;#039;s a good idea to review your journal so you can track your progress and pinpoint pitfalls. Praise yourself when you rise to an occasion; vow to improve when you haven&amp;#039;t.  A cosmic awakening. Balance. Self-love. Peace with her body \u2014 give or take 15 pounds. With all this healthiness, has Oprah&amp;#039;s need to please been curbed? Not exactly. One morning last spring she went to the park near her home to walk the dogs. &amp;quot;I was thinking I&amp;#039;d be out only ten minutes,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;So I wore my pajamas and a coat, with a hat pulled down over my head. This guy came up to me and said, &amp;#039;I thought that was you. I recognized the dogs.&amp;#039;  &amp;quot;Then he said, &amp;#039;I&amp;#039;ve been meaning to call you.&amp;#039; He was just some guy I never met before. He said, &amp;#039;I need you to do me a favor.&amp;#039;  &amp;quot;&amp;#039;Oh, do you?&amp;#039; I said. I&amp;#039;m standing there, literally holding a bag of dog poop in my left hand and holding the dogs with the other, so I can&amp;#039;t even shake his hand.  &amp;quot;He said, &amp;#039;My mother is retiring, and they want to give her a special honoring ceremony, but she doesn&amp;#039;t want to do it.&amp;#039; He goes through all the things she&amp;#039;s done. She&amp;#039;s taken kids into her home, she cooks for the sick and the shut-in, she visits the elderly in hospitals, she&amp;#039;s 72, her name is Myrtle, would I please do something about this? I said, &amp;#039;I don&amp;#039;t know, but let me think about it.&amp;#039; And so he gave me his card.  &amp;quot;I went home and wrote a long letter to Myrtle: &amp;#039;I met your son in the park, where I was walking the dogs. They want you to be honored, Myrtle. Take the honor. Receive the award. You&amp;#039;re a blessing to womankind. Just take it, you deserve it. You&amp;#039;re 72, for God&amp;#039;s sake. Just take it. Thank you very much.&amp;#039; And it was handwritten.  &amp;quot;I woke up the next day and thought: The nerve of that guy! Wasn&amp;#039;t that something? Then I thought: But he was really sincere. Why shouldn&amp;#039;t I?&amp;quot;  Seems one dilemma still isn&amp;#039;t completely settled: when to be &amp;quot;nice&amp;quot; and when to save Oprah for Oprah. But she&amp;#039;s working on it. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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