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"  Dolls, in these desperate times when the proprieties have perished, thank God we have Hollywood. Yes... as social lunacy besets Ask Eeee correspondents on all sides, when we can&amp;#039;t decide whom to date and whom to hate, the movies show us the correct conduct, the proper manners, and the right, uh, fork.  What to Do When a Gentleman Wants to Redecorate Your Apartment: Inspired by The Way We WereDear E. Jean : My new boyfriend is really really, really rich\u2014townhouse-on-the-Upper-East-Side-multiple-homes-and-cars rich. He was born into it. He jets around, spending winters on tropical beaches, summers on European mountaintops. Me? I love working. My job is intense; I don&amp;#039;t take much time off. I&amp;#039;m a serious, driven person.  The problem? He&amp;#039;s the first person who&amp;#039;s seen my adorably decorated apartment and not been impressed. I&amp;#039;m afraid this is just the tip of the iceberg. Will our lifestyles ever mesh? I don&amp;#039;t want to be made to feel like I&amp;#039;m slaving away to make a low-six-figure salary when I could be just having fun with my boyfriend, the gazillionaire. There&amp;#039;s also the significant fact that if we ever got married, I&amp;#039;m not sure I could be comfortable spending his money. Can this possibly work?\u2014Scared of Marrying Someone This Rich Scared, my scrumptious : Dating is so dull today that a polite lady loathes being seen doing it, but you act like hooking up with this dude should earn you the Congressional Medal of Honor. Where&amp;#039;s the lurve, Miss Scared? You talked so much about money in your letter, I thought it was my Bergdorf&amp;#039;s bill. I nearly called them to ask if Sofia Coppola had borrowed my card to buy holiday clothes for the vineyard workers. Hold on. I beg your pardon. You do talk about love: &amp;quot;I love working.&amp;quot; You&amp;#039;re gonna be miserable with him, Scared. Best to follow the E. Jean Rule: You&amp;#039;ll have more fun getting rich than marrying rich. Why? Because, believe me, you&amp;#039;ll have more interesting work...in the end. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com Miss High, hunny : It is of the highest importance that you conduct yourself with the strictest regard to good breeding in this matter. It is quite proper to confront the doucher as he/she masticates your macaroni with a gracious &amp;quot;Would you like the Riesling or a Sauvignon Blanc with that?&amp;quot; A brief note on monogrammed stationery thanking the pantywad for &amp;quot;attending&amp;quot; your lunch and requesting the pleasure of his/her attending your &amp;quot;veg lasagna,&amp;quot; being held &amp;quot;tomorrow from 11:30 to 2:15&amp;quot; on the &amp;quot;second shelf of the third floor fridge&amp;quot; is also correct. Either way, the lumplip will get the message.  Modern Men, of Course, Have No Voice, but If They Did: Inspired by Tropic ThunderDear E. Jean : The other night, my husband said, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m sick of people thinking I&amp;#039;m gay!&amp;quot; I said something like, &amp;quot;Do they think that? Hmm...&amp;quot; What I really wanted to say was, &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s your voice! It&amp;#039;s higher and more nasally than most guys.&amp;#039; &amp;quot;  But he&amp;#039;s self-conscious, sensitive, and prone to pouting, so I&amp;#039;m worried that saying anything will hurt him. Since we married and moved in together two months ago, I&amp;#039;ve noticed he speaks even more effeminately\u2014the roommate syndrome, I guess, where you take on the characteristics of the person you live with. Ugh! I want a man, not a boy! And it&amp;#039;s begun to bother me that other people think he&amp;#039;s gay\u2014not that there&amp;#039;s anything wrong with that! But it&amp;#039;s especially difficult around relatives and business associates. I want them to see us as being in a grown-up, satisfying relationship\u2014 not one they should worry about. And it is satisfying. He&amp;#039;s not only really smart, creative, fun, and caring, but he&amp;#039;s also very into my body and wants to have sex all the time. And he&amp;#039;s great in bed\u2014except when he talks. Any ideas?\u2014Mr. Squeaky&amp;#039;s Wife Mrs. Squeaky, my dear : Tell him, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve been wondering what could possibly lead people to question your sexual orientation\u2014you sexy brute\u2014and I think it&amp;#039;s your voice, darling. It&amp;#039;s slightly high-pitched. Why not see a voice coach for a few sessions?&amp;quot;  He&amp;#039;ll be seized with anxiety and gibber at you like Kristin Chenoweth on helium, but assure him he&amp;#039;s your badass man-biscuit and then show him a video of himself making a speech at your wedding (or whatevs). While he watches, tell him that Keith Urban, Kenny Chesney, and Tim McGraw&amp;#039;s voice coach, Renee Grant-Williams, author of the superb Voice Power: Using Your Voice to Captivate, Persuade, and Command Attention, says that he can &amp;quot;lower his voice with a few sessions with a good trainer.&amp;quot; Indeed Ms. Grant-Williams actually said: &amp;quot;Send him down here to me! All he needs to do is learn to breathe and speak from the lower part of his body.&amp;quot; I don&amp;#039;t know how low Ms. Grant-Williams is talking about, but if Robert Downey Jr. can lower his voice an entire octave in Tropic Thunder, then after a session or two with her, your lad will be speaking with the &amp;quot;testosteronic vigor&amp;quot; of Downey Jr. when he&amp;#039;s not lowering his voice. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com  Where to Tell a Gentleman to Place the Ice Cubes: Inspired by The Owl and the  PussycatHello, E. Jean : I&amp;#039;m 33 and have dated half of New York City, and I&amp;#039;m tired of it! Finally I&amp;#039;ve met someone I really like. He&amp;#039;s a smart, funny, cute guy. He&amp;#039;s passionate in bed, but totally vanilla. I, on the other hand, have a kinky streak and don&amp;#039;t know if I can maintain interest in a guy who&amp;#039;s never even tried things that I consider part of a modern sexual repertoire.  Please don&amp;#039;t tell me I must introduce him to new positions or bring toys into it. He&amp;#039;s in his late thirties and should know by now, right? Should I give him the boot because he lacks a dirty mind?\u2014Fly by Night Miss Fly : Alas. Sex is so tedious in 2008 that the long-established custom dictating that when a lady gives a gentleman the boot, she also gives him a few thwacks of her riding crop has all but disappeared. So prime him. The chap is not a mind reader. Tell him what you like. Cram him full! With detail! Over dinner! If the dude&amp;#039;s in no condition to stand up after dessert, you&amp;#039;ve done your job.  In Which We Pay Our Respects to a Champion: Inspired by Wall-EDear E. Jean : I am so proud of myself for what I have gone through on my own: six chemo sessions, one radiation session, four surgeries, lost my hair twice, and I AM STILL ALIVE. I was dealing with breast cancer and then was hit with ovarian cancer. I&amp;#039;m single, so I used up all my savings and investments; now I&amp;#039;m on Florida state disability insurance. But it just doesn&amp;#039;t cover my medical bills and my mortgage. I&amp;#039;m hoping to get back to work in January, but my circumstances are so dire that I recently paid an online company $495 to get me a government grant to help pay my bills. They seemed legitimate\u2014 but lo and behold, I lost my money! I&amp;#039;ve never encountered such a desperate financial situation. I&amp;#039;ve always been a good sales rep and made excellent money, and I know within a year my life will be totally different; but can you suggest any resources that can help me get caught up, as the money stress does not help my health?\u2014In a Ditch My brave darling : What&amp;#039;s the filthy name of the cyber-racket that stole your $495? I want to report them to the IC3 (Internet Crime Complaint Center) at Ic3.gov, after which I&amp;#039;d like to pay a call on the pigsnouts. How dare they prey on a champion who&amp;#039;s just won a battle with cancer! I&amp;#039;ve read your letter to the famously clever MSN Money columnist Liz Pulliam Weston, author of Easy Money: How to Simplify Your Finances and Get What You Want Out of Life, and this is what she suggests: &amp;quot;Go to an experienced bankruptcy attorney. He or she will discuss your options. A lot of people are facing similar nightmares, with the deteriorating economy and falling home values. The attorney may suggest filing bankruptcy as one of your choices. If you can file a Chapter 7, it will erase all your medical bills.&amp;quot; Jan Dahlin Geiger, author of Get Your Assets in Gear! Smart Money Strategies, suggests a different route: &amp;quot;Turn your house into a moneymaking proposition,&amp;quot; says Ms. Geiger. &amp;quot;Rent out your extra room. I know you&amp;#039;re recovering from treatment, so you don&amp;#039;t want to have someone underfoot. Rent to a person who&amp;#039;s rarely at home\u2014an airline pilot, a doctoral student, a medical intern. Also, go through your basement, attic, entire house and sell what you&amp;#039;re not using on Craigslist. You may end up with thousands!&amp;quot; Plus, plan on spending a day or two studying Govbenefits.gov. If Uncle Sam or the great state of Florida can offer any assistance, you&amp;#039;ll find it there. And just let me close by saying that when you&amp;#039;re in the advice column business like Auntie Eeee, you find you cherish certain plucky, undaunted letter writers. You are one of them, Miss Ditch! We&amp;#039;re all pulling for you!  How to Have a Small Party Without the Entanglement of Men: Inspired by Kissing Jessica SteinDear E. Jean : Okay, I&amp;#039;m a guy and have always wondered about girls being BFB (bi for boys) at parties. I mean, I love it, but is it real? Or are they just doing it for our entertainment?\u2014Brooklyn Brooklyn, my man : No. Some young ladies do it because it&amp;#039;s sexy, scary, forbidden, funny, and/or they&amp;#039;re blitzed out of their brains on vodka. All of which means one thing: more guys for old Eeee. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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