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"  What prompted you to share your relationship experiences with the world in Vow, especially when so many of your memories are so painful, and deeply personal? Did you consider using a pen name or alias?I never considered using a pen name. I thought that would be cowardly. And if I was going to tell this story, then I had to be willing to tell it in full-view. One reason I wrote Vow is that I had a lot to say about the subject of infidelity, having seen it from both sides. I think it is one of the biggest challenges in married life, and the more we talk about it, the less troublesome it may be. I remember standing in my upstairs hallway one afternoon, shortly after finding out about my husband and his mistress and child, and thinking, there is really only one thing to do with all this pain: write about it. At one point, I thought maybe I would hang out a therapy shingle just for couples that experience infidelity, because it really is a very specific torment. But since I&amp;#039;ve been a reporter for 25 years, the idea of writing my own story came naturally. Once I started writing, the story just told itself. As a mother, you decided not to include too many details about your children in your memoir. Was that a difficult decision as a writer?My goal was to be as honest as I could be with my own memories and actions, but not to include or intrude on my sons. Have any of the men you had affairs with reached out during the writing or publication process? If not, do you expect to hear from them, and how will you handle it?Two of the men I had affairs with are still intermittently in my life, but we were touch before the book came out. Terry actually helped me with some of the details. I called him one afternoon to say that there were some memories I was foggy on, and he filled them in: &amp;quot;Oh, do you remember when we did this? Or how about this?&amp;quot; Very generous. And Declan saw an early copy of Vow. I am grateful to still know these men, as they are wonderful people. As for the other two, they fell out of my life years ago. How have your friends and family reacted to you writing a memoir? Have they been supportive and encouraging, or have their reactions been mixed, because of the highly personal nature of your story?Since my friends and family were witness to my &amp;quot;finding out&amp;quot; about Bill&amp;#039;s mistress and child, they were encouraging all the way through. It is hard to see someone you care about suffering, and they were first-hand witnesses to all the mess of 2005. I do have two family members who do not approve, and have told me so. There isn&amp;#039;t anything I can do but respect their feelings. It&amp;#039;s not like I wrote a book about circumnavigating the globe. I wrote a book about infidelity. There is going to be disapproval. I \u2014 and I imagine many women will share this feeling \u2014 applaud your honesty when it comes to your own infidelity and the difficulty many people have being monogamous. Have your feelings changed, now that you are in a new relationship, or do you still think it&amp;#039;s your \u2014 or human \u2014 nature to desire other people?I am happily monogamous now. But I don&amp;#039;t know if that is because I&amp;#039;ve learned my &amp;quot;lesson,&amp;quot; or if it&amp;#039;s simply because I&amp;#039;m older and just don&amp;#039;t have the need for all that crazy passion anymore. Passion, yes. Crazy passion, no. I do think it is human nature to desire other people, absolutely. And I think it&amp;#039;s as common for women as it is for men, a point that gets overlooked far too often. The difference now is that I am no longer tempted by what I see out there. If I see a beautiful man I simply think, there is a beautiful man. I no longer think, I must have him. It&amp;#039;s a huge difference and actually quite relieving to feel this way. In Vow, you describe the way your friends and former boyfriend confirmed your husband&amp;#039;s affair was true before coming to you with the information. I think it&amp;#039;s fascinating that one of the men you had an affair with helped you discover your husband&amp;#039;s own infidelity. Are you grateful to him for this, or would you have preferred to figure it out on your own?I am grateful to Terry, yes. He is a good man who struggled with a nasty decision, contacted my friends, did all the &amp;quot;due diligence&amp;quot; before they decided to tell me, and then came to me with complete candor. I cannot imagine how hard this was for him, and for my girlfriend who also came over that January morning. She told me much later that they all wanted to make absolutely sure of the facts first, as she knew it would have such serious consequences. It was best, I think, to find out from friends. At least I had good and caring company for the first day of that awful knowledge.  Can you tell us about your current relationship with Zane? It was a very happy ending, I must admit, that you found someone who you seem to have a mutual connection and understanding with, after all the pain in your life. Do you think you&amp;#039;ve found someone you can be with for the rest of your life?The important thing is, I have different requirements for a relationship now than I used to, and I think I only realized this through writing Vow. It&amp;#039;s true that when I was younger, I loved the newness of a relationship, that wild joy that you feel. I didn&amp;#039;t do so well when it dissipated. I have learned to be happy with being comfortable with Zane. So when our relationship came down off of that drunken, early high, I didn&amp;#039;t question it. I didn&amp;#039;t imagine anything was wrong. I accepted that this is another stage, and not a sign of failure. I love Zane&amp;#039;s company, and that is more than enough. There is a great line uttered by the actress Mia Farrow in the little-known movie Miami Rhapsody. She is explaining the peace she has made toward the adultery in her long marriage, and she says, &amp;quot;Now, all I want is someone to hold my hand while I&amp;#039;m shopping for lawn furniture.&amp;quot; I love that line. It sounds so unromantic. But there is great romance in just having someone by your side. You just have to be smart enough to know that. I wish I had been way back when. Were there any memoirs that influenced yours? What&amp;#039;s the last amazing memoir you read?When I was pregnant with my first son, I read Anne Lamott&amp;#039;s Operating Instructions. It was such a gift to new mothers, truly courageous. She said things about having a baby and raising children that we all feel, but do not necessarily admit, and her revelations were deeply comforting. I think she did more for new mothers than 20 iterations of What To Expect When\u2026, which I found vaguely tyrannical. I think Anne Lamott is wonderful. I also loved The Blue Jay&amp;#039;s Dance by Louise Erdrich. Again, it was honest, brave \u2014 a hand held out to every mother. Do you have an all-time favorite author or book?I still haven&amp;#039;t recovered from my first reading of Dostoyevsky&amp;#039;s The Brothers Karamazov, and that was 20 years ago. John Steinbeck&amp;#039;s East of Eden has an answer for nearly any question you could ask. Nathan Englander&amp;#039;s The Ministry of Special Cases was devastating, a great book. And every year I spend the month of December re-reading Charlotte&amp;#039;s Web, James and the Giant Peach, and Through the Looking Glass, just to keep my imagination cracking. What are you working on now?I am working on a novel. And learning how to use my twitter account, which is still overwhelming me on a daily basis. I just don&amp;#039;t have the aptitude required for the effective use of technology. If truth be told, I&amp;#039;d rather use carrier pigeons. Do you have any advice for aspiring memoir writers?Front-load every bit of information you can. Read widely (including subjects you&amp;#039;re not terribly interested in), write down your impressions, your ideas, your memories. Write down especially those images or thoughts that steal across the back of your mind for no particular reason. Those are the best. Then when you want to write, you can use it as your fuel. You would be surprised at how easily it all scrolls back up. Read our review of Plump&amp;#039;s memoir, Vow, here. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/interviews/a14904/wendy-plump-interview/>