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" ESQ: Do you feel pressure to fill Howard&amp;#039;s shoes? AC: Everyone keeps saying that. But that&amp;#039;s like asking if I wouldn&amp;#039;t want to screw Jennifer Aniston because Brad Pitt was so hot. Let&amp;#039;s not focus on Brad Pitt. Let&amp;#039;s focus on who gets to screw Jennifer Aniston! It&amp;#039;s a once-in-a-lifetime job. It could be intimidating, but if you could screw Jennifer Aniston, wouldn&amp;#039;t you want to try it?  ESQ: Will you be keeping the tickle chair and spank machine? AC: I imagine that the show will probably be less mean-spirited. If some dad&amp;#039;s daughter gets into porn, I&amp;#039;m not interested in watching the porn with him. I&amp;#039;d like to go a little deeper and find humor that&amp;#039;s a little more interesting than the tickle chair. I was watching Oprah the other day --  ESQ: Stop. The cohost of The Man Show watches Oprah? AC: My wife forces me to watch it with her on Sunday mornings. She watches because she enjoys it, and I watch it to study the enemy. She had on that supermodel Iman to explain how to put on makeup. And she did that thing all hot chicks do when they say that beauty comes from within and it&amp;#039;s about how a woman feels inside. And I sit there with my wife and break down the game film with the TiVo. It&amp;#039;s got nothing to do with inside. The very definition of beauty is outside. If your ass is wide and dimpled and you&amp;#039;ve got a bent nose and one eyebrow, you&amp;#039;re ugly. That&amp;#039;s it. ESQ: Howard had the FCC. Do you have a nemesis in mind?  AC: I&amp;#039;m sure it&amp;#039;ll become the FCC midway through show one. ESQ: Is it true Infinity would have given you all of Howard&amp;#039;s markets but you wouldn&amp;#039;t move to New York?  AC: If someone were to give me $50 million a year, I would move to New York tonight. I don&amp;#039;t think that was an option, though. I think they&amp;#039;re taking Howard&amp;#039;s markets, whacking them up into different chunks, and seeing in a year or two if the cream rises to the top. ESQ: On The Man Show, were there ever any accidents while taping girls jumping on trampolines?  AC: Amazingly, we always had plenty of guys volunteering to spot. It&amp;#039;s weird -- those same guys, if you need them to help you move over the weekend, they&amp;#039;d give you a host of reasons why they couldn&amp;#039;t do it. But guys with polio will get out of their wheelchairs to spot for girls jumping on trampolines.  ESQ: What was your strangest Loveline call? AC: Maybe the guy who went to a mausoleum and took a head and put it in his snake&amp;#039;s terrarium. He called wanting to know if the head would freak the ladies out.  ESQ: Maybe that guy? AC: Another guy trained his dog to have sex with him. He wasn&amp;#039;t having sex with the dog; the dog was having sex with him. And he would perform oral on the dog. Everyone was outraged by it, but for a dog, I&amp;#039;m thinking there are worse things than oral from your master. And by the way, who&amp;#039;s the master now? "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/entertainment/interviews/a2129/esq0106adamcarolla/>