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"  In news sure to make your Inner Goddess cry out with pleasure: THE FIFTY SHADES OF GREY MOVIE OFFICIALLY HAS A RELEASE DATE. Go ahead and set up a calendar alert, polish up your handcuffs or just start preparing for an epic masturbating session, because the big-screen adaptation of the terribly-written yet awesomely kinky novel will hit theaters on.....  August 1, 2014!  It&amp;#039;s hard to put into words how we feel, but this about sums it up:  Yes, 8/14/14 may be a full year away, but ever since Sam Taylor-Johnson was named director, sh*t has been getting real with respect to the film, and to say the least, we&amp;#039;re pleased to see the progress.   Now we just need to get cracking on casting Christian and Ana and their motley crew of family members, ex-subs and lecherous bosses. (Check out our copious suggestions here and here.) For the next year, we&amp;#039;ll just be waiting patiently for August 14 to roll around....   And when it does, we&amp;#039;ll be throwing a wild Video on Demand screening party in our newly-constructed Red Room of Pain.  Want more from Michelle? Follow her on Twitter. Photo: Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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