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"Andrea Ayres-Deets\u00A0is the Lead Writer at\u00A0ooomf, an invite-only network connecting short-term software projects with handpicked developers and designers. Andrea writes about psychology, creativity, and business over on the\u00A0ooomf blog.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\u201CSure boss, I can have that article to you in two hours.\u201D\r\n\r\nThat\u2019s an unnaturally short period of time. I knew it, my boss knew it\u2014yet here we were\u2014both agreeing to this farce.\r\n\r\nTwo hours later I had produced not an article, but random words thrown into a document with some pictures.\r\n\r\nI shot him an e-mail with the subject line:\u00A0Here! Is this okay?! Can fix if needed\u2026\r\n\r\nMeanwhile, I\u2019d anxiously await his inevitable response:\u00A0Are these even words? Rewrite.\r\n\r\nMy life was punctuated with moments like these, horrible and painfully unnecessary moments because I was a habitual over-promiser.\r\n\r\nUnder-promise and over-deliver. A phrase often spoken but rarely explained.\r\n\r\nWho wants to under promise? That sounds terrible. Shouldn\u2019t we just over promise and do what we can\u2014it\u2019s the effort that counts, right?\r\n\r\nNope.\r\n\r\nPromises date back\u00A0thousands\u00A0of years, they represent a complex social norm and when we break them, the consequences extend beyond our control.\r\n\r\nHere\u2019s why you should always under-promise and over-deliver.\r\nWhy do we make promises?\r\nBefore courts, laws, and complex social systems, we had promises\u2014the assurance that something will be done. Promises are still one of the most important tools we have to help us navigate social encounters.\r\n\r\nThere are\u00A0four\u00A0reasons that we make promises:\r\n\r\n\tto create obligation\r\n\tto regulate and direct behavior\r\n\tto reduce uncertainty\r\n\tto build trust\r\n\r\nPeople keep\u00A0promises\u00A0because it helps to build the foundation necessary for maintaining and evolving relationships. The larger the promise, the greater the obligation is to fulfill it.\r\n\r\nBig promises create big expectations and when those expectations aren\u2019t met the brain responds by signaling a decrease in\u00A0dopamine\u00A0production. When we make a promise and meet or exceed expectations that\u00A0signals\u00A0an increase in dopamine production which makes us, and the person(s) we made the promise to, feel good.\r\n\r\nPromises also help signal to the outside world our level of trustworthiness.\r\n\r\nPromise Kept:\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nPromise Broken:\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nYour brain wants consistency, it needs it. So when someone makes a promise that something will happen, our brain believes that it will, which is quite comforting for the brain.\r\n\r\nWhen a promise isn\u2019t fulfilled, that consistency your brain was counting on disappears. It\u2019s not only a\u00A0breach\u00A0of trust and expectation\u2014it\u2019s a violation of one of the most fundamental social norms that people have. This goes way beyond disappointment, it\u00A0alters\u00A0the way people perceive and interact with us.\r\n\r\nA promise is a\u00A0debt.\r\n\r\nA\u00A0study\u00A0by Dutch Researcher Manuela Vieth, found that broken promises cause us to want to punish and seek revenge upon the promise breaker. These feelings impact any future interactions between the two parties involved.\r\n\r\n\r\nAnatomy of a broken promise\r\nYour brain knows when you are going to break a promise long before you are even willing to admit it to yourself. Researchers in Switzerland\u00A0discovered\u00A0that they could predict who would break a promise based on the brain\u2019s reaction during the three-stage model of promise making.\r\n\r\nPromise Stage\r\n\r\nLet\u2019s say you\u2019ve told your coworkers that you would absolutely, definitely, help them finish a project.\r\n\r\nAt this initial stage, you haven\u2019t fully decided whether or not you are going to keep or break the promise to your coworkers. Your brain, however, has already registered an emotional conflict because it knows that you don\u2019t really intend on keeping that promise. Because of this, the brain will\u00A0activate\u00A0your negative emotional processing centers.\r\n\r\nAnticipation Stage\r\n\r\nNow that you\u2019ve told your coworkers of your promise, you have to wait and see whether or not they will trust you to keep that promise\u2026\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nThe anticipation of their response causes you increased stress, which of course your brain will register. Your brain is already\u00A0preparing\u00A0you for possible negative outcomes and future consequences.\r\n\r\nDecision Stage\r\n\r\nYou\u2019ve decided to break your promise to your coworkers because you are too busy.\r\n\r\nThe decision to break a promise promotes a reaction in your brain\u00A0similar\u00A0to that of a lie or deception. You\u2019ll feel some guilt and fear over how breaking this promise will affect you. To combat these feelings your brain will remind you of the motivation for breaking the promise by activating your\u00A0reward-based\u00A0decision making part of the brain.\r\nThree ways to help you keep a promise\r\n1. Ask yourself if the promise is necessary\r\n\r\nYou should make a promise out of your genuine desire to follow through, not because you feel an\u00A0obligation\u00A0to do so. Consider what you are trying to achieve by making this promise and whether or not it can be obtained by making a smaller, more manageable promise.\r\n\r\nExample:\u00A0It\u2019s Wednesday and you are not even close to half-way done with a project, but you promise to have it completed by the end of the week. You make the promise because you want to impress your co-workers, but you\u2019ve forgotten to take into consideration all of the other work you have to do.\r\n\r\nInstead of promising to complete the entire project in an unreasonable amount of time, break the project up into sections. Promise to have portions of the project completed by a certain date. This allows you to manage\u00A0expectations\u00A0and keep up with the workload. You\u2019re co-workers will still be impressed and you\u2019ll be able to keep your promise.\u00A0Double points!\r\n\r\n2. Under-promise\r\n\r\nEstimate how long you\u00A0think\u00A0it will take you to fulfill the promise and then double or triple that time. If you are not able to answer how long it will take you to complete a task, don\u2019t give an answer. Tell the other person or group that you will get back to them.\r\n\r\nExample:\u00A0If an article normally takes me three days to write, I\u2019ll say four just so I have extra time in case part of the process takes longer than planned. If I get it done before the four day period is up, that makes the client happier, it makes me happier.\u00A0Everyone wins.\r\n\r\n3. Shit happens\r\n\r\nSometimes we can\u2019t help but break a promise. Be up-front and immediately offer an apology. It makes a difference and will go a long way towards\u00A0repairing\u00A0your relationship.\r\n\r\nExample:\u00A0Say I promised to have five articles completed by the end of the week but will only successfully complete four. Here\u2019s what I would tell my boss directly: \u201CBecause the articles have taken longer than expected, I will have four (rather than five) done by Friday. In order to move fast next time, I\u2019m going to choose topics of a smaller scope.\u201D\r\n\r\nI offer the reason\u2014not an excuse\u2014and a solution for how best to avoid this situation from happening the future.\r\n\r\nOver-promising always made me feel like I was playing catch up. I\u2019d do a half-assed job just so I could say, \u201CSee, it\u2019s technically done\u2026\u201D\r\n\r\nWhen I under promise I\u2019m able to surprise not only those around me but often myself. It gives me the space to do my absolute best and that makes me feel good\u2014that makes me feel proud.\r\n\r\nThis is about giving yourself momentum. Each time you make good on a promise you will feel that much more confident in your abilities. Every promise fulfilled will help you to associate your name with positivity and trust. Making promises you can keep is instrumental to helping you build and maintain any relationship in life."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://thenextweb.com/lifehacks/2014/03/30/always-promise-deliver/>