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"I feel like I&amp;#039;m always saying &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; to my son. How much is too much? I sound so negative! Is there a better way? \u2013 tara Well bravo to you for setting limits, which is one of the kindest things you can do for your child. That said, some experts believe the word &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; should be used sparingly, on the rationale that if a kid hears a litany of &amp;quot;no, no, no&amp;quot; all day long, it loses its power and he&amp;#039;ll eventually tune it out. I don&amp;#039;t know about &amp;quot;sparingly&amp;quot; \u2013 it&amp;#039;s not going to dampen their spirits or bum them out (two worries I&amp;#039;ve actually heard raised) to say &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; when you need to \u2013 but there are also some great alternatives worth trying. One way to avoid saying &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; so often is to rephrase your comments in the positive. So instead of &amp;quot;No running,&amp;quot; try, &amp;quot;Please stop running inside the house.&amp;quot; Telling your child what to do instead of what not to do, also is more explicit, which helps your child better understand the rule \u2013 and hopefully better remember it next time. If he asks, &amp;quot;Can I have a cookie?&amp;quot; you can say, &amp;quot;Yes \u2014 right after lunch.&amp;quot; You can also communicate the idea of &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; without actually uttering it. Use your face \u2014 a frown, a raised eyebrow \u2014 or shake your head as your young child reaches for something inappropriate. Just don&amp;#039;t delete the word from your vocabulary completely. Kids need limits, and &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; is a terrific tool that can, and should, be dispensed as necessary. Best bet: Use &amp;quot;no&amp;quot; whenever you mean &amp;quot;Absolutely not.&amp;quot; Set the limit, stick to it, and make it clear that there will be no wavering on this point.  \u2013Paula Spencer, WD &amp;quot;Momfidence&amp;quot; columnist  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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