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"  DEAR E. JEAN: I&amp;#039;ve decided to sell my virginity. Though I&amp;#039;m a guy\u2014the first man to attempt such an auction and a proud member of the LGBT community, identifying as bisexual\u2014I&amp;#039;m following in the footsteps of several women who&amp;#039;ve sold their virginities online. Each girl received offers of $1.5 million or more\u2014Natalie Dylan was offered $3.7 million by an Australian man for a one-night stand! You wrote about her in one of your columns (October 2009). I hope to be featured on the cover of at least one magazine, write a guest column for ELLE, and make a coffee-table book with an accompanying film documenting the auction. But the main goal of my virginity auction is to locate an honorable, admirable partner and engage in a serious relationship\u2014someone who is passionate enough to spend millions! My ideal Hollywood bidder would be someone like David Geffen. As for my ideal lady, I am interested in a talented performer like Lady Gaga or Ke$ha. Can you please print my Twitter handle so people can contact me? \u2014Offering More Than a One-Night Stand P.S. I&amp;#039;m also proposing a special-edition sex toy molded in my likeness commemorating my auction. OFFERING, YOU DELIGHTFUL NUMSKULL: Of course it&amp;#039;s theoretically possible that Lady Gaga\u2014the St. Francis of Assisi of rock stars (last year she gave $1 million to victims of Hurricane Sandy)\u2014might &amp;quot;spend millions&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;engage in a serious relationship&amp;quot; with a brainless nincompoop, but I doubt very much that Gaga, who gave another $1.2 million last year to her Born This Way Foundation, would like seeing that racist, anti-gay photo that you posted on your Twitter feed for the delectation of your 45 followers. So, laddie, let Auntie Eeee ask: You actually swallowed that tripe about each &amp;quot;girl&amp;quot; receiving &amp;quot;offers of $1.5 million&amp;quot;? You think stories you read on the Internet are true? You&amp;#039;re so virginal that you believe the young ladies actually got paid anything close to the sums mentioned? It was hype, dear boy. Nothing but high-larious, pie-eyed, pimped-out, press-baiting crap. Each of us is meant to save the world. You&amp;#039;re a born salesman. Go peddle something worthy. Let E. Jean help you find your match. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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