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"You know, I think I&amp;amp;#8217;m actually going to say yes on this one&amp;amp;#133; Writes Jess: &amp;amp;#8220;I rarely get to see my grandma, who lives in Georgia and has never visited me in New York City. She finally booked a (nonrefundable) flight to stay with me for a weekend. The day after she bought her ticket, I got a wedding invitation in the mail. Of course, it&amp;amp;#8217;s scheduled for the only full day my grandma&amp;amp;#8217;s in town. I wish they had sent me a save-the-date so I could&amp;amp;#8217;ve chosen a different weekend for my grandma to visit! I wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t invited with a guest, but I&amp;amp;#8217;d hate to miss this college friend&amp;amp;#8217;s wedding, and I&amp;amp;#8217;m obviously not going to abandon my grandmother. Is it crazy to ask the bride if I can bring my grandma to the wedding? She met the bride once and would definitely dance and have fun!&amp;amp;#8221; Here&amp;amp;#8217;s what I think: Normally, I&amp;amp;#8217;d advise against asking a bride if you can bring a guest if you weren&amp;amp;#8217;t invited with one. But because the only way you can go to the wedding (without missing out on precious time with your grandma) is to bring her along, I&amp;amp;#8217;d say it&amp;amp;#8217;s worth a shot. Still, how you ask this favor will make all the difference. Step 1: Explain to the bride what you just told us about how you hardly get to see your grandma and how you wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t feel right ditching her after she spent all this money to come up and see you. Step 2: Preface your request with, &amp;amp;#8220;I completely understand if this isn&amp;amp;#8217;t doable, but&amp;amp;#133;&amp;amp;#8221; so you&amp;amp;#8217;re not pressuring the bride into doing something she&amp;amp;#8217;s not comfortable with. Step 3: Ask if Grandma can join in the fun and add, &amp;amp;#8220;I will of course cover the cost of her plate.&amp;amp;#8221; This is really the only thing that makes it a reasonable request--the per-head cost (especially if the wedding&amp;amp;#8217;s in the New York area!) could be sky-high, and if you weren&amp;amp;#8217;t invited with a plus-one, the couple may not be able to afford extra guests. Step 4: Be totally gracious if the bride turns you down and be sure to return your response card with your decline. OR Step 4: Thank her profusely if she says yes (or promises to talk it over with her groom). Step 5: Pay Grams&amp;amp;#8217; share promptly, or if the couple refuses to accept the money, give them an extra-generous wedding present. What would you have told Jess to do? Do you think it&amp;amp;#8217;s rude to ask to bring an extra guest, no matter the situation? If you were the bride, would you extend a wedding invitation to the grandma? More Wedding-Guest Dilemmas My Cousin&amp;amp;#8217;s Being a Nightmare Bride--Do I Have to Attend Her Wedding? Help! I Need Some Wedding-y Advice From My Readers! (Also, I Might Be the Worst Friend Ever) Please Help Me Get Out of This Totally Awkward Wedding Event More Ways to Get Glamour Chat with celebs, VIP fashion stars, beauty pros and more on our Facebook page! Visit Facebook.com/glamour for this month&amp;amp;#8217;s schedule. Visit ShopGlamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Download Glamour Magazine for your iPad--print subscribers, it&amp;amp;#8217;s now part of your subscription plan! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter. Photo: Jupiterimages"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/08/readers-dilemma-can-i-ask-to-b>