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"I&amp;#039;m tempted to hook up with my ex. He was a crappy boyfriend but \u2026 let&amp;#039;s just say the sex pretty much made up for it. We&amp;#039;ve already been together twice, and I don&amp;#039;t really feel like going through a third time. What should I do? You know the answer, but since you&amp;#039;re looking for someone to confirm what you already know, I&amp;#039;ll type it here: Don&amp;#039;t hook up with your ex.  Just say, &amp;quot;No.&amp;quot; Or, better yet, every time you think about sex with him, say to yourself this mantra: &amp;quot;No, no, no, no, no.&amp;quot; Or try some primal scream therapy and shout: &amp;quot;No! God, please, God, no! Nooooooo!!!&amp;quot; And if that doesn&amp;#039;t work, just imagine Ben Kingsley screaming in your face, &amp;quot;No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No! No!&amp;quot; We&amp;#039;ve all been there \u2014 pulled back into the gravitational force of some attractive ex \u2014 but don&amp;#039;t go back to the same bad bed just because you&amp;#039;re too lazy to find another one. There&amp;#039;s more than one good lover in the world. And plenty who aren&amp;#039;t crappy boyfriends. What ever happened to good, old-fashioned, to-the-point (literally) fingering? I feel like it&amp;#039;s a dying art form. How do we bring back the manually derived orgasm?! I am shocked to have this bit of news at my fingertips. I certainly hope it&amp;#039;s not true, but I suppose that, in the age of Vine porn, attention spans are narrowing. But we&amp;#039;re not here to debate the validity of your claim. No, you&amp;#039;ve asked me a straightforward question: What can we do to stimulate manual stimulation? How, indeed, can we bring back finger-banging with a bang? Don&amp;#039;t wait on your boyfriend to spontaneously wiggle his digits. &amp;quot;Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time,&amp;quot; Barack Obama once said. &amp;quot;We are the ones we&amp;#039;ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.&amp;quot; Tell him what you want. And maybe turn him on by showing him exactly what you want by touching yourself until you come. Above all, ask for it. Demand it. Beg for it. Talk dirty. Tell him, in no uncertain terms, that you need him to fuck you with his fingers. Tell him you don&amp;#039;t just want him to finger you as an opening act. Tell him you want him to tickle your ivories for the main concert. If he hesitates, promise a sexual favor in return. If he doesn&amp;#039;t know where to start, take matters into your own hands by grabbing his fingers and showing him exactly what you want.  Above all, don&amp;#039;t wait on him. Don&amp;#039;t expect him to read your mind. Be the change you seek. Don&amp;#039;t get mad, get fingered.  I have a male friend who, although he doesn&amp;#039;t look it, or act it, is old enough to be my father. We were like best friends who did loads together, until one day he told me he was in love with me, and had been since the moment he met me. Although we get on really well, I don&amp;#039;t see him in that way, and I think we&amp;#039;re at different stages in our lives. He will want to settle down, and I want to live my life. Things have been awkward ever since, and when I try to be normal around him (like we used to be), he gets the idea that I&amp;#039;m leading him on. Now I don&amp;#039;t know what to do. I don&amp;#039;t want to lose our friendship, but I can&amp;#039;t deal with the awkward situations anymore. When your older gentleman friend told you he fell in love with you the moment he met you, he revealed that he has always, from the very beginning, believed your relationship to be romantic. Though I&amp;#039;m sure he truly likes you for all sorts of reasons, he never saw you as just a friend; he saw you as his potential lover from the start. Since you only ever saw him as a friend, you two have had very different experiences of the same relationship \u2014 and he probably hasn&amp;#039;t been interested in being just friends at all, since he doesn&amp;#039;t seem interested in accepting your friendship now.  It&amp;#039;s hard to decline an older man&amp;#039;s advances, especially when he&amp;#039;s dead-set on romancing you. A lot of guys are either in denial, unwilling to give up, or arrogantly and patronizingly convinced that if they just keep pressing, they can wear a younger woman down. So you need to be unmistakably clear: Let him know that you are never, ever, ever getting together. Ever. Don&amp;#039;t be too nice and leave the door open by telling him it&amp;#039;s not a good time for you. Don&amp;#039;t explain why you&amp;#039;re surprised. Just tell him that this is not gonna happen. No way, no how. That&amp;#039;s all that matters.  This awkward situation is not your fault. But it&amp;#039;s your job to make sure he knows exactly where you stand, without muddying the waters. If you have already closed the door firmly (I can&amp;#039;t tell from your email), then that&amp;#039;s great. In that case, don&amp;#039;t let him blame you for leading him on if you&amp;#039;ve explicitly told him that&amp;#039;s not what you&amp;#039;re doing. You shouldn&amp;#039;t let him make you feel guilty for being desirable. Going forward, I&amp;#039;d suggest telling him you need to take a break from the friendship before this gets worse. I know you want to keep him as a friend, so, at the very least, you need to send a strong message \u2014 and time apart will defuse the situation more than another round of emotional chats. (We don&amp;#039;t see all our friends all the time anyway; if you drop out for a month or more, it shouldn&amp;#039;t be a big deal.)  Since he&amp;#039;s been after you since the very beginning, I&amp;#039;ll give you 50-50 odds on this friendship working out. Maybe he&amp;#039;s as mature as his age, or maybe he won&amp;#039;t stop flirting. How can you tell? Here&amp;#039;s a thought experiment: Can you ever imagine hanging out with him and a new boyfriend together? If the answer is yes, the friendship is likely salvageable. If it&amp;#039;s no, cut your losses now and stop hanging out together. Do you have a question for Logan about sex or relationships? Ask him here. Follow Logan on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a30216/ask-logan-hook-up-with-ex/>