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"FacebookPinterest\n\nMake It Stop: The Special Worst-of-Super-Bowl-Week Edition!\n\nTime once more for Make It Stop, in which we count down the five things this week that must stop. \n\n1. Ex-football players doing horrible radio interviews during Super Bowl week. I listen to sports talk radio more often than is healthy, and I can tell you Super Bowl week is, without question, the worst radio week of the year. It's just hour after hour of ex-football players stopping by radio row to talk about some goddamn game they were in twenty years ago. Oh, and they have a new juicer coming out that'll really change your life! If you're an ex-player and you show up on Radio Row for Super Bowl week, you may as well walk around wearing a sign that says I AM UNABLE TO MOVE ON. What ought to be a fun week yapping about the game and making tasteless jokes about Ray Lewis stabbing people is, instead, a running telethon of sad has-beens. Find something else to do with your time, Joe Theismann. I don't need to be reminded that you're still alive.\n\n2. Posting your Super Bowl ad on the Internet before it airs during the Super Bowl. \"Hey everyone, we just spent $5 million to get Cuba Gooding Jr., six monkeys, and a Heath Ledger hologram in our new ad! Let's give the world an excuse to not tune in for it!\" I know that advertisers want as many people to see their new spot as possible, but what could possibly be the harm in waiting until the game is over to post it? What am I supposed to do, watch it online as a preview, so that I can wait to see it again? That's insane. I'm not gonna watch your spot again. I'm gonna go take a shit. You just gave me permission to leave. Thanks for squandering the million you paid for a third quarter ad slot!\n\n3. Demanding Colin Kaepernick talk to his birth mother. Everyone has taken a giant shit on this repugnant column from ESPN's Rick Reilly in which he demands to know why 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick, who is adopted and appears to have a very happy relationship with his folks, doesn't try to contact his birth mom. But I'm not one to miss out on piling on. My colleague at Deadspin, Tommy Craggs, once noted that Reilly was \"a walking Father's Day card,\" a journalistic ambulance chaser: someone who actively seeks out sob stories and tries to will them to life. And here is Reilly taking it a hundred steps too far and trying to butt into a remarkably private matter, and for what? What is the fucking point of this article, other than Reilly trying to leech off someone else's emotions to give his writing an artificially boosted sense of melodrama? It's repulsive, and I say that as someone who is repulsed by nothing. Reilly's lucrative contract with ESPN\u2014long a prime example of the company's wasteful spending\u2014expires this spring. I hope whomever's dumb enough to sign him next tells him to take garbage column ideas like this and keep them inside his puckered asshole.\n\n(And fuck Reilly twice for being too big of a pussy to allow comments on his articles. That one deserved the public shaming of a thousand trolls.)\n\n4. Mud. This has nothing to do with the Super Bowl. I'd just like to note that winter in America has now been replaced by mud. Mud is awful. Ever step onto a field only to realize far too late that you've sunken down into wet-ass mud? It's the worst. Mud should be outlawed, even at music festivals.\n\n5. Either team that wins this game. I either get Ray Lewis happy or Jim Harbaugh happy at the end of this thing. Couldn't someone airlift the '85 Bears into this thing to give me a more palatable option?"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.gq.com/story/make-it-stop-the-worst-of-the-week-of-020113>