<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"While Ashton Kutcher and Chuck Lorre were doing their best to erase the memory of Charlie Sheen on Two and a Half Men last night, over on Comedy Central everyone from Mike Tyson to Steve-O was paying tribute to the comic actor in classic Roast tradition. Family Guy&amp;#039;s Seth MacFarlane lead the gag-fest and Digital Spy has picked out its favourite zingers from the celeb-packed evening. It was almost enough to make us forget the whole Tiger Blood debacle. Almost. 1. &amp;quot;You know it&amp;#039;s amazing despite all those years of abusing your lungs, your kidney, your liver\u2026 the only thing you&amp;#039;ve had removed is your kids.&amp;quot; The surprise hit of the night was Private Practice star Kate Walsh. 2. &amp;quot;Prostitutes cost a lot of money, Charlie. Hasn&amp;#039;t anyone told you that actresses will sleep with you for free?&amp;quot; The legend William Shatner provided good value. 3. &amp;quot;On Two and a Half Men, they are really having Charlie&amp;#039;s pretend funeral. There is no need to switch over, however, just wait a few months and you can possibly see the real thing.&amp;quot; Seth MacFarlane hosted the Roast in his usual comic style.   4. &amp;quot;Charlie, you claim to have &amp;#039;tiger blood,&amp;#039; but after all the porn stars you&amp;#039;ve [had sex with], it&amp;#039;s probably Tiger Woods&amp;#039;s blood.&amp;quot; Seth MacFarlane, in fine form. 5. &amp;quot;Charlie, you&amp;#039;re the black sheep of a family that produced three Mighty Ducks movies.&amp;quot; Comic Jeffrey Ross pokes fun at Sheen&amp;#039;s brother Emilio Estevez. 6. &amp;quot;You are just similar to Bruce Willis. You know, you were big in the &amp;#039;80s and now your old slot&amp;#039;s being packed with Ashton Kutcher.&amp;quot; Comic Amy Schumer gets some of the biggest laughs of the night. 7. &amp;quot;I only had to change three things [from the Amy Winehouse obituary]: the sex of the deceased, the location of the body and the part that says, &amp;#039;a talent that will be missed&amp;#039;.&amp;quot; Seth MacFarlane again. 8. &amp;quot;Charlie if you&amp;#039;re winning, this must not be a child custody hearing. Only time your kids get to see you is in re-runs. Charlie, don&amp;#039;t you want to live to see their first 12 steps?&amp;quot; Jeffery Ross fires one of the harshest zingers of the evening. Comedy Central&amp;#039;s Roast of Charlie Sheen aired last night in the US. It premieres in the UK on Comedy Central tonight. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.digitalspy.com/tv/news/a332582/charlie-sheens-comedy-central-roast-top-8-zingers/>