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"It can feel scary to brace the unknown of college life without your support system of childhood buddies by your side. Though your BFFs aren't within arms reach, there are many effective ways to maintain, and even strengthen, your high school relationships. We asked the experts about how you can gracefully part ways with hometown pals and prepare for college life.\n\nMark the farewell.\n\n \"It's a really beautiful thing to celebrate your friendship and how it helped you through high school,\" says Rachel Simmons, author of Odd Girl Out. \"Mark that with a ritual or a moment that you can share. Go out and have a special evening with your high school friend to formally say goodbye. Write your friend a card wishing her luck and sending her love as she takes these next steps, or give your friend a memento to represent your friendship.\"\n\nKeep it in perspective.\n\n \"Turning goodbyes into a huge deal can make things worse, both on your heart and on your entire going-to-college process,\" says Kelci Lynn Lucier, an education writer for About.com and US News &amp;amp; World Report. \"Keep in mind that it's not goodbye forever; it's just saying goodbye for a month or two or three. In that sense, it's more of a 'see you soon!' than a goodbye.\"\n\nSet realistic expectations for keeping in touch.\n\n \"There's a lot of fear about losing your old relationships and making new ones, and it's easy to want to cling to your old high school friends,\" says Simmons. \"When you say goodbye, it's important to talk about your desire to stay in touch, but to also have realistic expectations about what that will look like. I would not say, 'Let's talk every night at 8 o'clock.' I would say, 'I want to stay in touch with you. Let's try to talk as much as possible, but be prepared for it to be rocky sometimes.' Try not to lock each other into committed times for talking once you get to college. You don't really know what it's going to be like, and you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment.\"\n\nEstablish that you'll need space at school.\n\n \"It's sometimes necessary to break away as you start your life as an adult, especially if at-home relationships feel overinvolved,\" says Sarah Albert, a psychotherapist and clinical social worker. \"Too much contact with high school friends may hinder your capacity to get engaged in student life.\"\n\n \"There's a healthy balance between keeping in touch with friends and taking some space and time for yourself,\" adds Lucier. \"Remember that maintaining contact and allowing yourself some space to grow don't necessarily have to conflict with each other; in fact, they should ideally support each other. Check in for updates and a little support here and there, but make sure to put most of your effort into building up your new college life. That's what you went to school for anyway, right?\"\n\n A Twitter account can be a great way for you to update everyone without making 20-minute phone calls.\n\nKelci Lynn Lucier\n\nSchedule time to spend together.\n\n \"Consider making a plan for the future so you have something to look forward to,\" says Albert. \"Try not to make things too rigid until you start to know what life is like for you in college, though.\"\n\nUse social media to share your college experiences.\n\n \"Posting on social media can be an easy way for you to keep in touch with people from your pre-college life,\" says Lucier. \"A Twitter account can be a great way for you to update everyone without making 20-minute phone calls. Facebook updates and Instagram snaps can also provide a way for you to connect with friends and family\u2014and vice versa.\"\n\nBe present in the moment with new friends.\n\n \"The first week of college is pretty nerve-wracking,\" says Simmons. \"When you're in unfamiliar territory, you're going to want to reach for the familiar, so it's very natural in that first week to be constantly texting your old friends and checking up on them on Facebook. It's important to get off your phone and be where you are.\"\n\nEmbrace feelings of anxiety.\n\n \"Going to college is a humongous, crazy adventure that is like nothing else,\" says Lucier. \"Instead of fighting your anxiety, embrace it. It's there because you are facing major life changes and are invested in how they turn out. Rest assured that your anxiety means you're actually doing everything right and already set up to work hard and succeed.\""^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.teenvogue.com/story/saying-goodbye-to-high-school-friends-college>