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" If you&amp;#039;re like me, you&amp;#039;re a perpetual member of the Friend Zone. I&amp;#039;m so used to being considered a homie instead of a honey, that I&amp;#039;m slightly convinced I&amp;#039;ll never escape to girlfriend territory...until now. I recently read Why You&amp;#039;re Not Married...Yet and felt like the author Tracy McMillan was an older sister smacking me in the face with some cold-hearted truth. Damn, that hurt. The book, now in paperback, is all about you and makes you look at yourself to take responsibility for the love you deserve. The You&amp;#039;re a Liar chapter really hit home with me. (No, I&amp;#039;m not some compulsive liar. That would make me cray cray and I&amp;#039;d need to re-read her chapter, You&amp;#039;re Crazy.) Tracy drives home a big idea: Stop lying to yourself\u2014and men\u2014about the kind of relationship you really want. I felt like I got a good ass-whooping from Tracy in this bit right here: &amp;quot;News flash: friends are when you don&amp;#039;t want to have sex with someone. If you want to have sex with someone\u2014even if it&amp;#039;s not that much\u2014you aren&amp;#039;t just friends.&amp;quot; Shit. I&amp;#039;ve been there one too many times. I&amp;#039;m a firm believer that great relationships can come out of friendships. But being just friends with an awesome dude you want to makeout with\u2014hoping it&amp;#039;ll turn into something more\u2014is torture. You&amp;#039;re not being true to yourself about your desires and that&amp;#039;s not fair to you emotionally. Instead, my big sis Tracy says, we need to be brutally honest with ourselves about what we want\u2014and what we don&amp;#039;t want. If the way he treats you (like, constantly forgetting plans) drives you crazy, you need to address this in a nice manner immediately and watch for him to either change his ways or see him disappear from your life. And if the latter happens, he wasn&amp;#039;t someone you wanted to date in the first place. What do you think about remaining friends with someone you&amp;#039;re really into? Want more from Dara? Follow her on Twitter @dadeeyo. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a12008/dating-be-honest-with-yourself/?click=cos_new>