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" How many of us have contorted ourselves into twisty pretzel shapes, lit dozens of aphrodisiac candles, or even got Secretary-kinky, all in the name of better, hotter sex? And hey, it&amp;#039;s true that a little off-the-beaten-path pleasuring can add a whole lotta spice to your lovin&amp;#039;. But no matter how far you go with the fancy moves and jazzy tricks, it always comes back to the Cosmo classics \u2014 bed-devil skills like knowing exactly how to handle your guy down below and getting the absolute most from your G-spot. So dig in: We&amp;#039;ve determined the seven erotic essentials that must be set in motion for great sex to happen. Learn these and there&amp;#039;s no way you&amp;#039;re having a dud night. Ever. Ever, ever, ever.  If he&amp;#039;s hooking up with you, he loves your bod. Here&amp;#039;s a head-scratcher: When a man gets a woman in bed, it&amp;#039;s a huge ego boost for him (&amp;quot;Yeah, score!&amp;quot;). Yet at the same time, we chicks will be obsessing in the sack about our fat rolls and the way our thighs spread out when we&amp;#039;re on our backs. Well, all that sex stress adds up to one thing: nooky that&amp;#039;s neurotic and no fun. &amp;quot;Poor body image and refusing to believe your partner when he says he loves your figure will hurt your sex life,&amp;quot; says sexologist Lilka Areton, PhD. Think about it: The more you strategically hide yourself under the sheet or say things like &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m so bloated&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;I haven&amp;#039;t shaved in days,&amp;quot; the more he&amp;#039;ll think, Jesus, this chick has issues, and become less aroused. Plus, when you&amp;#039;re self-conscious, there&amp;#039;s no way to enjoy all the love he&amp;#039;s lavishing on you (which, hello, is the whole point of the game). That&amp;#039;s why, if you really want to rock the box springs, loosen up and let him ogle away during foreplay. Sex is as much about the visuals as it is the physical pleasure for a guy; it&amp;#039;s like there&amp;#039;s something connecting his eyeballs to his package. So don&amp;#039;t be shy about putting on a show. As you undress, slide one bra strap down your shoulder and give him a smoldering upward gaze, which lets him know that you&amp;#039;re watching him watch you. Get more great tips on feeling sexy in your skin!  You don&amp;#039;t need Cirque du Soleil moves to turn him on. Men are simple. As in uncomplicated, pizza-and-beer, boobies-and-sports simple. So when it comes to revving him up for sex, a little enthusiasm goes a long way. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ll be at the kitchen table or fixing a leaky faucet and my girlfriend will come up behind me and start rubbing my shoulders,&amp;quot; says Greg,* 25. &amp;quot;Then she&amp;#039;ll slide her hands down my chest and into my pants. That surprise sexy stuff is like finding a $20 bill in your pocket.&amp;quot; Some sizzling stealth moves: Slip a hand into his boxers in the wee hours before the alarm goes off or crawl on top of him while he&amp;#039;s watching the news and give him a sexy clothes-on cuddle: Wrap your legs around him, arch your back and grind against him. Or while he&amp;#039;s standing, run your hand down his package and between his legs, give him a light squeeze, then slide your hands around his sides to his butt and pull him into you. After a bit of this hot exchange, slide your hands up his sides again and slip off his shirt, lightly lick circles around his nipples and down his treasure trail. Then take his hand and run it down your neck, over your breasts, and along your undies, pressing into the areas that respond to his touch. Simple. So leave the sexy stunt work for Charlie&amp;#039;s Angels 2.  *Names have been changed.  His johnson isn&amp;#039;t his only hot spot. Once you and your man are so revved up that there&amp;#039;s no choice but to burn rubber into the bedroom, exploring his other erogenous zones is essential. &amp;quot;Until women show us the way, a guy thinks the center of the sexual universe hangs between his legs,&amp;quot; says Karl, 34. So go for the nape of his neck, which likes to be kissed and nibbled, and his earlobes, a hotbed for sucking and biting. Then make a beeline for his sacrum, that bony area at the base of his spine. &amp;quot;Pressing the sacrum brings blood to the area, increasing circulation and enhancing his erection,&amp;quot; says Michael Reed Gach, PhD, author of Acupressure for Lovers. Try the love lock: Wrap your arms around him and slide your hands down his back. Rest your fingertips just above his butt crack and press slowly but firmly into the triangular bone there. The slight indents you&amp;#039;ll feel are the points to stimulate. More mystery moan zones? His perineum, the patch of skin between his balls and his back door that&amp;#039;s loaded with sensitive nerve endings. And the thick cord that runs along the crease where his legs meet his body (a.k.a. the groin) responds amazingly to your touch. Give him a double whammy: Run your hands along his lower body, then up his inner thighs. When you&amp;#039;re between his legs, place your hands palm-down on him so your thumb and index fingers form a loose triangle around his package. Slide your thumbs up and down his perineum (glide, don&amp;#039;t press) and apply firm, steady pressure to the crease.  But in the end, it&amp;#039;s the most important one. When it comes down to it, his penis is still his, well, favorite joystick. And there are ways to give a hand job that&amp;#039;ll earn you high marks. To begin, lube is a must. &amp;quot;Dry friction is penis enemy number one,&amp;quot; says Noah, 28. &amp;quot;Your hand should slip and slide up and down his pecker, not pull the skin off.&amp;quot; Next, hold him firmly at the base of his shaft, but don&amp;#039;t squeeze. Every guy is different, so gauge your grip by the look on his face. Start pumping your hand up and down his shaft slowly, increasing the speed incrementally and giving the head of his penis a light squeeze every now and then. &amp;quot;A good hand-job is like a throttle on a speedboat. You don&amp;#039;t force it on and off. You coast from one speed to the next,&amp;quot; says William, 25. &amp;quot;I like a girl to go really slow for a minute, then build up speed for 10 or 15 seconds, then slow down again.&amp;quot; While you&amp;#039;re working him with one hand, use the other to cup his balls and gently tug the sac. Pull ever so slowly, never yank, and don&amp;#039;t make sudden movements down there. Read his body language from start to finish and vary your pace and pressure accordingly. If he&amp;#039;s thrusting his pelvis into your hand, tighten your grip or speed up the works if you want to take this past the foreplay level and actually finish him off. When he&amp;#039;s about to orgasm, give him all the speed he can take and avoid touching the head, which is supersensitive at this point. Wrap up with a slow, base-to-head massage until his body stops twitching. If you don&amp;#039;t want him to climax, slow things down by squeezing under the head of his penis to stifle the orgasm urge.  Realize the key to great oral sex is being relaxed. One of the biggest misconceptions women have about giving a blow job is that it has to be all mouth, all the time, which is what makes oral sex seem like a chore. &amp;quot;Despite the name, it should never feel like a job,&amp;quot; says Ben Rogers, coauthor of Going Down: The Instinct Guide to Oral Sex. &amp;quot;You have total control; just seeing your head down there is a thrill for him. As long as your teeth aren&amp;#039;t raking over his flesh, you can do anything and he&amp;#039;ll love it.&amp;quot; For instance, use your hands \u2014 the sensation of your mouth in combo with a hand stroking his goodies is guaranteed to please. In fact, he really wants to feel a variety of sensations, so you have the perfect excuse to switch gears whenever you get tired. When your lips go numb, use less mouth and more hand and flicker your tongue around the head while you manually stimulate him. When your neck or jaw feels stiff, change positions \u2014 try kneeling in front of him so you&amp;#039;re not leaning over and supporting your whole body with your back. Dry mouth? Slather him with flavored lube. Don&amp;#039;t worry about whether you&amp;#039;re mastering all the right moves. You learn a guy&amp;#039;s favorite techniques \u2014 how fast, how hard, how long \u2014 over time. The difference between good oral sex and great oral sex, says Steve, 34, is how gung ho you are. &amp;quot;Most guys would agree that there is no such thing as a bad blow job. But great oral sex requires one thing: a woman who&amp;#039;s playful and willing to try.&amp;quot; Apply this laid-back mantra when he&amp;#039;s going down on you. Yeah, yeah, occasionally you stress about odors and stray hairs when he&amp;#039;s touring your nether regions, but get this: Most men loooove going south (nearly 80 percent, according to the Sex in America survey), and they couldn&amp;#039;t care less if things get messy, says Joel, 30. &amp;quot;If anything, it&amp;#039;s a turn-on, and it shows I have mad skills that get her hot.&amp;quot;   I.D. your G-spot.  Even though you can&amp;#039;t see it from the outside and you might not know it&amp;#039;s there, once you hunt down this red-hot region, you&amp;#039;ll never settle for G-less sex again. It&amp;#039;s a spongy area of tissue located at 12 o&amp;#039;clock inside the front wall of your vagina. To find yours, trace a straight line from your navel to the top of your pubic bone with your finger, pressing about a half-inch into your skin. When you feel a slight tingling sensation similar to what you feel when you have to pee, you&amp;#039;ve hit it. But your G-spot isn&amp;#039;t your ticket to an insta-orgasm, says Beverly Whipple, PhD, president of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s very similar to the clitoris in that, when stimulated, the tissue swells, and many women find the sensation pleasurable. But touching it doesn&amp;#039;t automatically trigger an orgasm.&amp;quot; Whipple says the best positions for arousing your G-spot are woman-on-top, rear entry, and missionary with your man on his knees (have him lift your legs up for a bigger boost). In these poses, his penis is angled to glide against it perfectly. But if you really want to explore your G-spot, have your partner insert his index and middle fingers palm side up and make slow come-hither motions. Once you&amp;#039;re comfortable with the sensation, add to your arousal by pressing your palm into your abdomen right above your pubic hairline so that the area gets pressure from the inside and outside. If you get overstimulated (the area may feel icy-hot, ticklish, or uncomfortable), stop altogether or ride out the feeling, which fades after about 10 seconds.  Orgasms aren&amp;#039;t a one-man job \u2014 you can (and should) help him out. Despite what it looks like in those hyperactive sex scenes in movies, most real orgasms don&amp;#039;t come from straight-up intercourse. Why? Because the clitoris \u2014 one of your two pleasure centers \u2014 is situated in an awkward spot that doesn&amp;#039;t always get the friction it needs during regular sex. To know what it feels like to have an O from start to finish, experiment with masturbation, treat yourself to a vibrator or help yourself to his porno stash (if that&amp;#039;s what it takes to show you all the possibilities).  And don&amp;#039;t be shy about giving yourself a hand during intercourse. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s the only way I can reach orgasm,&amp;quot; says Catherine, 29, &amp;quot;and he loves the sensation of my hand down there too. I can squeeze him between my fingers while I rub myself, so it&amp;#039;s a little something extra for both of us.&amp;quot; Another orgasm-boosting move: Kegels. It&amp;#039;s a contraction and relaxation exercise that strengthens your pubococcygeal muscle. Contract the muscle for a few seconds (the way you squeeze when you&amp;#039;re trying not to pee), then release and repeat. &amp;quot;Kegels are a really essential part of becoming orgasmic,&amp;quot; says Whipple. &amp;quot;Tightening that muscle helps you feel him more, and it brings blood flow to the area, increasing lubrication and making you more turned on.&amp;quot; Mai, 28, attests to Keg-power. &amp;quot;I totally focus on that grip/release sensation; it&amp;#039;s so similar to involuntary orgasm twitches. My body takes over till I climax.&amp;quot; Another tip: Breathe. While you&amp;#039;re doing the deed, it&amp;#039;s easy to get so tense and obsessed with &amp;quot;Will I or won&amp;#039;t I?&amp;quot; that you shorten your breath, which slows blood flow and can dampen desire. So take full abdominal breaths, filling your belly, then exhale completely, says Roz Van Meter, sex therapist and author of Sizzling Sex in 30 Days. Also try breathing in sync with your partner, or reciprocal breathing (you inhale while he exhales). &amp;quot;Deep breaths keep you focused in the moment, heighten your sensations, and make the connection with your partner more intense.&amp;quot;  Sometimes what sounds like a scintillating idea can totally flop when put into practice. Sex therapist Roz Van Meter, author of Sizzling Sex in 30 Days, explains why these carnal stunts are big clinkers.  Hot-Tub Love Splashing around is fine during foreplay, but sex in any body of water \u2014 hot tub, pool, lake, or sea \u2014 is a bad idea, says Van Meter. &amp;quot;He&amp;#039;s pushing water into you, which washes away your natural lubrication, and if the water gets into your uterus, it can lead to infection.&amp;quot;   Exotic Erotics Joining the Mile High Club, getting wild in the wilderness, or fogging up the windows in a car ain&amp;#039;t so sexy when you factor in things like shoe-box-size bathrooms and edgy flight attendants, bugs and dirt, and low clearance and the gearshift poking your keister.  The Forklift Ravaging each other up against a wall (like on an elevator) where he&amp;#039;s holding up your rear can bring on bumps and bruises as you attempt to line up your body parts, says Van Meter. Plus, his back and arms are going to burn out before either of you finish.  Kinky Surprises Leaping into bed in all leather, sticking your finger (or his) where the sun don&amp;#039;t shine, or breaking out S&amp;amp;amp;M items without prior consent can scare the pants back onto him, says Van Meter. &amp;quot;For some guys, it creates this paranoia, like &amp;#039;What was she into before she met me?&amp;#039;&amp;quot;  &amp;#039;60s: Give him a look that says &amp;quot;I really want you.&amp;quot;  &amp;#039;70s: Have spur-of-the-moment sex.  &amp;#039;80s: Don&amp;#039;t be shy \u2014 ask for what you want in bed.  &amp;#039;90s: Get on top to increase your orgasm odds. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a1568/7-sex-secrets/>