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"If you&amp;amp;#8217;re having a tiny wedding, do you still get gifts? Writes Save the Date reader Lauren: A friend of mine is planning a VERY small wedding&amp;amp;#8212;only her immediate family will be invited. That&amp;amp;#8217;s fine, of course, it&amp;amp;#8217;s her day and she can do what she wants. But she&amp;amp;#8217;s also planning what I consider to be a lame &amp;amp;#8220;reception,&amp;amp;#8221; which friends will be invited to, that will be held when she and her groom return from their honeymoon. By &amp;amp;#8220;lame,&amp;amp;#8221; I mean a Sunday morning brunch at a generic chain restaurant. My friends and I&amp;amp;#8212;all invited to the &amp;amp;#8220;reception&amp;amp;#8221; but not the wedding itself&amp;amp;#8212;feel like the bride is hosting a quickie reception for a bunch of people because she wants the wedding presents that come with a bigger wedding. I feel like I don&amp;amp;#8217;t really need to bring a gift to this &amp;amp;#8220;reception.&amp;amp;#8221; Am I being unreasonable? Here are my thoughts: If you hate the idea of the reception so much, don&amp;amp;#8217;t go! Please! You&amp;amp;#8217;re just going to spoil the mood for the people who want to celebrate with the bride and groom&amp;amp;#8212;regardless of the surroundings. As a guest, you&amp;amp;#8217;d prefer to attend a big fancy party with a sit-down dinner and dancing, I&amp;amp;#8217;m sure. Most guests would. But a wedding reception isn&amp;amp;#8217;t all about the guests. It&amp;amp;#8217;s also about the bride and groom, what they can afford, and the way they want to celebrate their marriage. If this bride and groom can&amp;amp;#8217;t afford a fancy party, or even if they have a bunch of money but they&amp;amp;#8217;d rather hang out with friends at a casual &amp;amp;#8220;generic chain restaurant,&amp;amp;#8221; so be it. It&amp;amp;#8217;s not up to you or the rest of your friends to dictate how they should host their wedding reception. And if you don&amp;amp;#8217;t like it, you certainly don&amp;amp;#8217;t have to go and grumble about it the whole time. As I&amp;amp;#8217;ve said in the past: A wedding invitation is just that, an invitation. It&amp;amp;#8217;s not a subpoena! If you don&amp;amp;#8217;t want to go ... DON&amp;amp;#8217;T! Regardless of whether you attend the reception, if you truly consider the bride a friend, I&amp;amp;#8217;d send a gift. It&amp;amp;#8217;s a nice gesture when friends get married&amp;amp;#8212;even if they can&amp;amp;#8217;t invite everyone they know to a big fancy wedding. You don&amp;amp;#8217;t need to buy the most expensive item off their wedding gift registry. I&amp;amp;#8217;m sure they&amp;amp;#8217;d appreciate something small with a heartfelt note just as much. Giving a wedding gift is never mandatory&amp;amp;#8212;but NOT giving one because you&amp;amp;#8217;re bejiggity about the way they&amp;amp;#8217;re planning their wedding is kind of jerky, if you ask me. Ladies, what do you think? Is Lauren&amp;amp;#8217;s friend being a gift-grubber? Do you think she deserves wedding gifts? If you were invited only to the reception, would you attend? Have a wedding-y dilemma of your own? E-mail me! More reader&amp;amp;#8217;s dilemmas, solved! * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! I Can&amp;amp;#8217;t Afford the Wedding I Want!&amp;amp;#8221; * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! We Want to Elope&amp;amp;#8212;But How Will We Tell Our Families?&amp;amp;#8221; * &amp;amp;#8220;Help! Registering Is So Overwhelming!&amp;amp;#8221; More Ways to Get Glamour: NEW! Now You Can Read Glamour on Flipboard! Visit ShopGlamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Download Glamour for your iPad. Print subscribers, it&amp;amp;#8217;s now part of your subscription plan! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter. Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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