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" PAPER TRAIL &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;d just come out of a bad audition and felt like I needed to stuff toilet paper in my bra to make myself more voluptuous -- so I did. Then I went into Bergdorf&amp;#039;s to buy an expensive pair of shoes, thinking that maybe that would make me feel better. The salesman put the shoe on my foot and I bent down to buckle it -- and all the tissue paper came streaming out from the top of my dress! I was so embarrassed, but I just stuffed it back in.&amp;quot;Felicity Huffman  LAKESIDE LEERING My husband, kids, and I were staying at my in-laws&amp;#039; lake house with 20 of their relatives. One afternoon, I returned to the house to put my 9-month-old down for a nap while the rest of the family was at the lake. After changing the baby, I decided to take off my wet bathing suit. Just as I was removing my suit, the bathroom door swung open. I looked up in panic and was stunned to see my husband&amp;#039;s 14-year-old male cousin standing in the doorway. I quickly dashed for cover, while he ran for the door. Awkward!Dawn Malatia Chicago  ABRACADABRA! I was at our church&amp;#039;s Harvest Fair with my 3-year-old son when a magician called him up to do a trick. He was doing the one where he&amp;#039;d pull out a long scarf from various places, and my son kept lifting up his shirt, showing his belly. So the magician looked at him and said, &amp;quot;Do you have a belly button?&amp;quot; (I guess the magician was planning on pulling the scarf out of there.) My son replied, &amp;quot;Yup -- and a penis, too!&amp;quot; I nearly died...from laughter.&amp;quot;Heather Marshall Marlborough, MA  FAULTLESS FRISK My husband and I were at a ball game when it started pouring rain, so we hustled into the covered part of the stadium along with the rest of the crowd. I thought I&amp;#039;d lost him, until I saw a dark-haired man with a red shirt right in front of me. Relieved, I squeezed my husband&amp;#039;s butt to let him know that I was behind him -- but when the man turned around, it wasn&amp;#039;t him! All I could say was, &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;m so sorry.&amp;quot; He smiled, as his annoyed wife dragged him off!Erin K. Carlton Rainbow City, AL LIP SERVICE My best friend and I were having a lively debate in our favorite bar, which was brimming with attractive men. Between eyeing guys and arguing with my friend, I was a bit distracted as I applied layer upon layer of ChapStick to my lips. Then I noticed I was getting a lot of looks from guys. Delighted, I ate up the attention for about 15 minutes -- until my friend couldn&amp;#039;t control her mirth and told me that I&amp;#039;d applied my bright red lipstick over and over instead of clear lip balm. I looked like a lunatic! I left the bar with no dignity, no phone numbers, and my friend trailing me doubled over with laughter.Iris Williamson Birmingham, AL  PRIVATE REMARKS As a new nurse, I was assigned to a young male patient who was having problems with his private parts. I was trying to make the best of the situation, so I explained that I needed to look at them so I could write down notes. When he dropped his pants, I saw that his privates were resting in a little hammock-type contraption to help decrease the swelling. I looked at my patient and joked, &amp;quot;Do you think it wants a cocktail?&amp;quot; When I realized I&amp;#039;d said it out loud, my face turned beet red and I left the room!Melissa Rickey Russellville, OH  HAIRY SITUATION At church one Sunday, I was sitting behind a woman with bushy red hair. I was so distracted by one loose strand that I couldn&amp;#039;t pay attention to the sermon. Finally, I couldn&amp;#039;t stand it anymore, so I grabbed the hair -- only to find it was attached to her scalp! She let out a holler that stopped the preacher in mid-sentence. I wanted to hide under the pew!Frances Rollins Blairsville, GA  BELLY LAUGH I don&amp;#039;t have any children, and have struggled with my weight for years. One day, I took my 3-year-old niece into the bathroom with me. While we were in there, she turned to me innocently and said, &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t worry. When you go potty, your belly will go away.&amp;quot; Apparently, her mother had told her that whenever her belly gets big, it will go away after she goes potty. If only it were that easy!Cindy Eikenburg Cleveland  Those aren&amp;#039;t the only embarrassing stories:  Missy Elliott and moreJenny McCarthy and moreShania Twain and more  Has something really embarrassing happened to you? E-mail us at redbook@hearst.com (put &amp;quot;Red in the Face&amp;quot; in the subject line) and your story could end up in REDBOOK! "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/life/interviews/a236/felicity-huffman-yl/>