<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"  DEAR E. JEAN: It took years of hustling for me to land a position at one of Wall Street&amp;#039;s premier hedge funds. I love what I do, love my coworkers, and thrive in the environment\u2014with one not-so-minor exception: my boss. He&amp;#039;s a great teacher, but also a maniac, known in financial circles as the Terminator. He&amp;#039;s prone to temper tantrums, yelling, cursing, and the like. I&amp;#039;ve never been overly sensitive (I aspire to manage my own fund someday, after all), and extraordinary amounts of money are at stake. But his last tantrum was directed at me, and I felt it crossed the line. Here&amp;#039;s what happened: In front of an investor at a meeting, I noticed that my boss looked tired, so I asked whether I should get him some coffee. I did it to be kind\u2014a mistake in a world full of aggressive men. Just so you know, I&amp;#039;ve been working on toning down my gentle side and trying to be a bit more brutish around the office, but some habits die hard. Well, when we left the investor&amp;#039;s building, we got into separate cars, and I immediately received a phone call from my boss, who said: &amp;quot;Don&amp;#039;t you EVER F-ING ASK ME if I want f-ing coffee in front of an investor again!&amp;quot; He went on like this for several minutes, talking about how one should never look subordinate in a meeting, and then he said, &amp;quot;And if you ever f-ing do it again, I&amp;#039;ll f-ing kill you.&amp;quot; Now, I&amp;#039;m not scared for my life, but I fear for my dignity. His speaking to me this way has caused me to question my ability to be a portfolio manager: Am I too soft for my profession? But it also made me want to say something to him about this treatment and stand up for myself. However, I&amp;#039;m terrified of losing my job. It&amp;#039;s a tough market out there. If he said, &amp;quot;Get out,&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;d have nowhere to go. I can&amp;#039;t afford months of unemployment, and I have mounting student loans. How can I handle such situations with my boss in a way that allows me to keep my job, make a good impression, and move up? \u2014Can&amp;#039;t Afford to Kill My Career CAN&amp;#039;T, MY YOUNG CARROT: Bah! Stay hungry! Stay gentle! Women outperformed men as hedge-fund managers in 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, and 2008. (Not to say that hedge-fund dames are dulcet as doves on a doily. Some walk into a room and start a fight. Yet why anyone would look at the numbers and choose a fund run by boys is beyond me.) But I digress. The art of boss wrangling consists of (A) laying plans and (B) calling the boss on his bullshit\u2014but without him realizing you&amp;#039;re calling him on his bullshit. The Plan: When circumstances are favorable\u2014when the man is enjoying a particularly triumphant day\u2014stick your head in his office around 6:30 and, holding up a bottle of 18-year Macallan (the Birkin bag of whiskys), say: &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re one of the smartest guys in New York. May I ask your advice?&amp;quot; He&amp;#039;ll nod you toward a chair. Put the bottle on his desk with a couple of glasses, thank him, and proceed.\u2026 The Calling-Him-Out: Say, &amp;quot;I almost lost my temper today with one of our researchers. And when I lose my temper, I can&amp;#039;t think. Not like you. Powerful people like you\u2014Steve Jobs, Mark Cuban, Meg Whitman\u2014you all have famous tempers. Heaven knows I&amp;#039;ve felt the sting of yours.&amp;quot; (Give him a smile here.) &amp;quot;But you&amp;#039;re able to control it most of the time. Tell me how to do it. I need your wisdom!&amp;quot; You&amp;#039;ve summoned his better angels. You&amp;#039;ve compared him to Steve Jobs. You&amp;#039;ve asked for his &amp;quot;wisdom.&amp;quot; You might think this little fireball of ego boosters is over-the-top. It&amp;#039;s not. Because now he will tell you how he controls his temper. And the more he tells you about how he controls his temper, the less likely he is to lose it in the future. If you perform A and B with intelligence, you may down a glass of Scotch with the man in the knowledge that you&amp;#039;ll soon be managing your own fund and one of your employees will be calling you on your bullshit and making you feel good about it. Consider this a rule. E-mail your questions to e.jean@askejean.com MORE E. JEAN: Mommy Dearest It&amp;#039;s What&amp;#039;s on the Outside That Counts Mean Girls Never Grow Up "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/q-and-a/a26292/ask-e-jean-market-manipulation/?src=global_footer>