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" I was having a friendly conversation with Nichole Galicia, Panamanian supermodel and star of Quentin Tarantino&amp;#039;s new movie Django Unchained (out Christmas Day) when, about an hour into it, we agreed to form a lethal bounty-hunting crew. Bounty hunting is the subject of Django, or one of its subjects. Galicia and I talked about that recently over the phone, plus shooting kneecaps and killer dress codes and the absence of badass bounty-hunting nicknames. MARK SVARTZ: You ready to talk about bounty hunting? NICHOLE GALICIA: Yeah, I&amp;#039;m curious where this conversation&amp;#039;s going to go. MS: To start, bounty hunting sounds like the most outdated, barbaric profession out there. NG: Yeah, it sounds like a rough job. I&amp;#039;m sure some people love it, though. MS: It&amp;#039;s human hunting. Who wouldn&amp;#039;t love that? NG: Well, hopefully you don&amp;#039;t kill your prey. At least we&amp;#039;ve finally done away with those dead-or-alive bounties. MS: Where&amp;#039;s the fun in that? I like options.  NG: Do you think there are any female bounty hunters? MS: There was that famous one \u2014 Domino. She was a model-turned-bounty hunter. Keira Knightley played her in a movie. NG: Hm, model-turned-bounty hunter. I think I&amp;#039;d be good at that. I just started firearms training. Okay, actually, I&amp;#039;m such a softie wuss. I would never shoot anyone. But it&amp;#039;s nice to know that if I had to, I could take you down. MS: That could be your secret to success. You knock on the door, fugitive sees a hot supermodel and quickly opens up. And then you take them down. Never saw it coming. NG: Exactly. If I can bounty hunt in my short skirt and high heels: done. MS: Though I read that some states legally require bounty hunters to wear vests that clearly label them as bounty hunters.  NG: I guess when you&amp;#039;re aggressively knocking on someone&amp;#039;s door, you should be easily identifiable, so you&amp;#039;re not shot on their porch. MS: But isn&amp;#039;t that overkill? If I see an 800-pound Japanese man in a diaper trying to push me out of a circle, I&amp;#039;m pretty sure he&amp;#039;s a sumo wrestler. No vest necessary. So if I&amp;#039;m a fugitive on the lam, and there&amp;#039;s a guy with a mullet and feather earrings knocking down my door, I think I can figure it out without a name tag. NG: True. Though maybe it&amp;#039;s his bookie coming to collect? Or maybe it&amp;#039;s one of his fugitive friends. We can&amp;#039;t just let people break down doors without proper vests. MS: I still don&amp;#039;t truly understand bounty rules. According to Wikipedia, those guys can break into homes without a warrant, carry concealed weapons, arrest people.  NG: It sounds like bounty hunting is the Guantanamo Bay of law enforcement. I would assume that the authorities are pretty desperate by the time they would employ a bounty hunter, so they give you a little more slack. MS: The more we talk about it, the more I kinda want to be one. Break into homes. No rules. Fancy vests. Sounds fun. NG: Me, too. We can be a team. I&amp;#039;ll be carrying the gun. You can go ask the questions. Before they know it, they&amp;#039;re down on the ground, and we&amp;#039;re getting our reward money. MS: I wish my high school guidance counselor would&amp;#039;ve mentioned bounty hunting as a viable career option.  NG: The bounty hunter never shows up on Career Day. MS: But he should.  NG: Are bounty hunters allowed to shoot people? MS: I don&amp;#039;t know how far they&amp;#039;re allowed to go. Can they shoot people? Can they choke them?  NG: If they&amp;#039;re allowed to carry a gun, it&amp;#039;s probably not just a fashion accessory. If you&amp;#039;re going after an escaped fugitive, and you have a gun, and they have a gun, and you&amp;#039;re not wearing your &amp;quot;Hi, I&amp;#039;m a Friendly Bounty Hunter&amp;quot; T-shirt, you may want to know how to use that gun. But don&amp;#039;t worry, like I said, I&amp;#039;m a good shot. I got your back. MS: Good, I&amp;#039;m gonna need the backup.  NG: See, while you&amp;#039;re talking, I&amp;#039;m still gonna be in the car. And I&amp;#039;ll just shoot the guy in the kneecaps and take him out. MS: You&amp;#039;re going kneecaps? NG: Oh, yeah. I want him to live so we get our money. I don&amp;#039;t want any of that &amp;quot;You killed him before we questioned him&amp;quot; loophole, so they don&amp;#039;t pay us. I need him alive. MS: But then I&amp;#039;m probably gonna have to drag him, right? NG: Hell, yeah. I did all the hard work. You do the dragging.  MS: I was kind of hoping you&amp;#039;d shoot him in the shoulder so he can hobble over himself. NG: I&amp;#039;m sorry. How&amp;#039;s about an arm shot? MS: Arm&amp;#039;s good. But no pressure. We just need a little time to get on the same page. NG: We don&amp;#039;t have our Bonnie and Clyde down quite yet, but we will get there. MS: I&amp;#039;d like to propose something off the bat. We might not want to call ourselves &amp;quot;bounty hunters.&amp;quot; NG: Oh? Why&amp;#039;s that? MS: I think we might get more business if we had a more sophisticated name. Maybe something like &amp;quot;return specialists.&amp;quot; NG: [Laughs.] Return specialists. I like that. MS: It&amp;#039;s kind of like how janitors sometimes go by &amp;quot;custodial engineers.&amp;quot; NG: We should be engineers! Retrieval engineers. MS: Yes. Now we can get the high-end fugitives. NG: But don&amp;#039;t we need code names? You can&amp;#039;t call me Nichole, and I can&amp;#039;t call you Mark. We need cool retrieval-engineer names. MS: Agreed. That&amp;#039;s actually the most disappointing thing about bounty hunting \u2014 the lack of badass nicknames.  NG: What about Dog? MS: Dog is the only one. You&amp;#039;d think they&amp;#039;d all have cool nicknames like wrestlers and Top Gun pilots, lots of Snakes and Hollywoods. But I looked up the most famous bounty hunters in history, and it&amp;#039;s just a bunch of Bobs and Garys. NG: Then the industry needs us. I&amp;#039;m thinking mine needs to be delicate, but dangerous. Something like Pussy Willow the Bounty Huntress. I mean, the retrieval engineer. What about you? What&amp;#039;s your badass bounty-hunter name? MS: I think I might go with The Shadow.  NG: That&amp;#039;s great. Pussy Willow and The Shadow. Do we sound menacing enough? I think I might need a more menacing name. How about if I was The Butcher &amp;amp;amp; The Baker? MS: The Butcher &amp;amp;amp; The Baker and The Shadow.  NG: They&amp;#039;ll think there&amp;#039;s three of us. That&amp;#039;s how we throw them off. MS: Just a heads up: I&amp;#039;m already writing the TV pilot. NG: You better call me up when it&amp;#039;s done, because I&amp;#039;m so down. I&amp;#039;m that girl who, when you have a harebrained scheme, you call me, and I don&amp;#039;t care what time of day it is \u2014 I&amp;#039;m already getting dressed as you give me the address. MS: We know our roles, we have our nicknames. I think the last thing we need to figure out is how to track bad guys. I say we just log onto Foursquare.  NG: Yes, we&amp;#039;re modern-day hunters. Let&amp;#039;s just sit back and follow fugitives on Facebook and Twitter. We can hire some twelve-year-old computer genius to do all our social-media tracking. MS: So you&amp;#039;re gonna be doing the shooting, and some techy kid is gonna be doing the tracking. What&amp;#039;s my role? NG: You can be undercover. And you can lure the fugitives out of their hiding place with your journalistic charm, so that I can get a clear shot. And then you can escort them to the van. MS: Hold up a second, Ms. Butcherbaker. Are you turning me into bait? NG: [Laughs.] Someone has to be the bait. I can&amp;#039;t run in heels. MS: There&amp;#039;s no better bait than a supermodel. NG: Yeah, but I&amp;#039;m a better shot. C&amp;#039;mon, you&amp;#039;re very persuasive. This is a way better role for you. You can befriend this sad fugitive and lure him out in the open. It&amp;#039;s a very important job, you know. MS: Fine. But if I get them out, you better not miss. NG: Oh, I&amp;#039;m taking them down. Mid-conversation. Trust me. -- Mark Svartz is an artist and creative director and author of the book I Hate You, Kelly Donahue. Follow The Culture Blog on RSS and on Twitter at @ESQCulture. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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