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"The other day, we talked about some important firsts: your first kisses and your first times. You guys had a lot to say about those memories, and with good reason. Sure, a kiss is just a kiss, but your first experience is a milestone in your dating life. First piggyback ride: Fun, but not that significant. A first time, in kissing or anything else, is a learning experience that sets you off on a path towards figuring out what you like and don&amp;amp;#8217;t like, what works for you, and what you&amp;#x27;re ultimately looking for in the world of romance. Some important milestones are obvious and much-discussed, like saying I love you or a major breakup. But I think there are more subtle milestones along the path of dating that are equally important in your development to Fully Realized Woman Who Can Have A Healthy and Fulfilling Relationship. Here are a few of them, and the reasons why they matter more than you might think: The first time you stay in a hotel together. Is it just me, or is there something so deliciously adult about getting a hotel room? The first time I stayed in a hotel with a guy made me feel like I was in a grown-up relationship instead of just a silly college kid (I was a college kid, for the record). Maybe my then-boyfriend felt the same, because it was also the first time he told me he loved me. Sweet, right? OK, maybe a hotel room isn&amp;amp;#8217;t your personal gold standard for adulthood (fine, it is just me then), but my point is that doing something that makes you feel a bit more mature, even if for just one night, can prompt you to go to the next level in a relationship. Unless that grown-up experience is going to Ikea, which will just ruin your relationship. The first time you fight in public. A fight so devastating that you can&amp;amp;#8217;t help but embarrassingly sob in the middle of a crowded bar is awful, but it can also be a tool in learning what you don&amp;amp;#8217;t want. Specifically, the type of dramatic relationship where you&amp;amp;#8217;re always crying in public. The first time you go too far, too fast with a guy. Now, there&amp;amp;#8217;s no standard (or judgment) here. Maybe you had sex on a first date or maybe you kissed a guy you didn&amp;amp;#8217;t have feelings for. Neither of these is wrong as a rule, but chances are at some point, you&amp;amp;#8217;ve done something that felt wrong for you, and you regretted it. It&amp;amp;#8217;s ok. Once you stop beating yourself up (seriously, stop!), take it as a lesson to know your own comfort levels and stay within them next time. The first time you realize you&amp;amp;#8217;d rather be single. If you&amp;amp;#8217;ve never been in a bad relationship, consider yourself lucky. For those of us not so blessed, the first time you consciously think to yourself, &amp;amp;#8220;This relationship isn&amp;amp;#8217;t good enough for me&amp;amp;#8221; is an empowering realization that you&amp;amp;#8217;ll take with you to establish standards and not settle because you&amp;#x27;re afraid to be alone. The first time a good friend gets engaged. ...and you secretly hate her for it, just a little.That guy you&amp;amp;#8217;ve been seeing for months won&amp;amp;#8217;t even call you his girlfriend but everything always work outs for HER! OK, a little jealousy is human, but news flash: you&amp;amp;#8217;re kind of being a buttface. (What? If you&amp;amp;#8217;re going to be immature, so am I!) Dealing with your jealousy maturely will hopefully help you understand that comparing relationships, and lives generally, is stupid and pointless, so you can be happy for your friends without feeling bad about yourself. The first time you majorly screw up in a relationship. You had a moment of weakness and you snooped through your boyfriend&amp;amp;#8217;s texts. Or you let things get a little out of hand with your cute co-worker at the office party. Having to admit you were a jerk is the worst, but we all hurt the people we love at some point. How you choose to handle the situation says a lot about your character and your ability to be in a mature relationship. Have you experienced any of these dating firsts? Was it an important experience for you? Which other important milestones did I miss? More important moments in relationships: *Relationship Milestone: The Road Trip *21st Century Dating Milestones *Holding hands, and other relationship milestones Photo: Thinkstock"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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