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"Here&amp;amp;#8217;s a very delicate situation&amp;amp;#133; Writes Korie: &amp;amp;#8220;My mother-in-law-to-be and I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t get along at first, but we&amp;amp;#8217;re mostly fine now. Recently, she told my groom that she&amp;amp;#8217;d be heartbroken if she doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t get to sing at our wedding. I didn&amp;amp;#8217;t even know she could sing, let alone that she was expecting to belt out a tune on our wedding day! I wasn&amp;amp;#8217;t planning on having any performances like that, but my groom doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t want to offend his mom and is happy to let her sing at the wedding, even though he thinks it&amp;amp;#8217;s a little weird that she&amp;amp;#8217;s asked. What should I do? I don&amp;amp;#8217;t want to be back on bad terms with her, but I really, really don&amp;amp;#8217;t want her to sing at the wedding.&amp;amp;#8221; Here&amp;amp;#8217;s what I think: No matter how close you are with someone (or how much you want your relationship with that person to be OK), no one but you and your groom gets to decide what happens during your wedding (unless they&amp;amp;#8217;re paying for it, but even in that case, the bride and groom should get vetoing power). But think about why you don&amp;amp;#8217;t want her to sing: Is it because she might not be that talented? Is it because you&amp;amp;#8217;re afraid she&amp;amp;#8217;ll steal the spotlight? Is it because you want your wedding to be low-key and a planned performance might compromise that? Once you have your reason straight, talk to your groom. He needs to see exactly where you&amp;amp;#8217;re coming from before there&amp;amp;#8217;s any kind of talk with your future mother-in-law. After your fiance understands why you&amp;amp;#8217;d prefer she didn&amp;amp;#8217;t get the mic at your wedding, it&amp;amp;#8217;s up to him to convey that to his mom. The key to keeping your wedding performance-free and not ruining your relationship with your almost mother-in-law: Your groom has to convince his mom that he&amp;amp;#8217;d prefer she didn&amp;amp;#8217;t sing. The second the blame is passed onto you, you can expect drama. If I were in your situation, I&amp;amp;#8217;d offer your soon-to-be mother-in-law a compromise. Maybe she can sing at your rehearsal dinner or a post-wedding brunch, or maybe she can do an (unsung) reading at your wedding ceremony (if you think she&amp;amp;#8217;s just eager to actively participate in your wedding day). And if she won&amp;amp;#8217;t accept a compromise, then all you can do is know you&amp;amp;#8217;ve tried. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t cave completely, though; it&amp;amp;#8217;ll only make her think that you&amp;amp;#8217;ll give in to her whims throughout your marriage. And that&amp;amp;#8217;s not a precedent you want to set. What do you think Korie should do? Would you let your future mother-in-law sing at your wedding if she wanted to? Have you received any oddball requests from your family or in-laws? More In-Law Dilemmas &amp;amp;#8220;My Future Sister-in-Law Can&amp;amp;#8217;t Make Our Wedding Date!&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8220;My Future Mother-in-Law Won&amp;amp;#8217;t Stop Mothering My Groom!&amp;amp;#8221; &amp;amp;#8220;My Future Brother-in-Law Planned an After-Party We Didn&amp;amp;#8217;t Want!&amp;amp;#8221; More Ways to Get Glamour Visit ShopGlamour.com for cute stuff starting at just $10! Download Glamour Magazine for your iPad! Enter the latest Glamour sweepstakes! Follow us on Twitter! Add us to your iGoogle homepage. Photo: Jupiterimages"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/weddings/blogs/save-the-date/2011/04/readers-dilemma-my-future-moth-2>