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"  When someone brushes against your person, take a drink. When a complete stranger calls you &amp;quot;bro,&amp;quot; take a drink.  When two or more women have their photograph taken together and they say &amp;quot;Whoo!&amp;quot; in unison, take a drink.  When a large group of people squeezed into a booth erupts in laughter, take a drink.  When someone orders a Stella, take a drink.  When someone orders a Stella as a &amp;quot;Stella Artois,&amp;quot; take 3 drinks. When the guy who&amp;#039;s sitting alone over there blankly stares at you in an aggressive manner for longer than five seconds, take a drink.   When a large group walks in and immediately changes the scene in a negative way, take a drink.  When the bartender asks, &amp;quot;What can I get you?&amp;quot; take a drink once he has gotten it for you. When the bartender asks, &amp;quot;What&amp;#039;ll it be?&amp;quot; take a drink of corn whiskey out of the clay jug because you are in the Old West.  When someone plays a Willie Nelson song on the jukebox, take a drink. When someone plays &amp;quot;One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer&amp;quot; by John Lee Hooker on the jukebox, take a drink every time the chorus is played.  When someone plays &amp;quot;One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer&amp;quot; by George Thorogood and the Destroyers, leave that bar and when you get to the next place, take a drink.  When someone attractive starts talking to you for any reason whatsoever, even if it&amp;#039;s because she wants to know if your name is Mike because her brother&amp;#039;s name is Mike and you look like him, take a drink.  When you finish your drink, order another drink and take a drink.  At the end of the period of whatever game is being played on the TV, take a drink. When the clock strikes 3 in the afternoon on a Monday, ask yourself if this is really the best way you could be spending your time, then take a drink. When your three-year-old says, &amp;quot;I need to go to the baffroom,&amp;quot; leave. Because your kid is in the bar with you, and that isn&amp;#039;t right. (Oh, really? Your place is right around the corner? Rule: Kids don&amp;#039;t belong in bars. No matter how many times the 38-year-old female bartender says &amp;quot;Hi, Aiden!&amp;quot; and actually sits down on the floor to play with him for a few minutes, which makes you think, Wow, this is so cool, I can combine my two favorite things: my bar and my kid... Nobody wants your kid there. Nobody. Not even the bartender who&amp;#039;s entertaining him. Your kid doesn&amp;#039;t even want to be there. Take him to Denny&amp;#039;s, man. Let him sit at that bar. They have pancakes at that bar.) When someone walks into the bar, looks around for a few seconds, and then leaves, take a drink.  When you get up to go to the john and on your way there, someone gets up and starts walking in front of you to go to the john, go sit back down and take a drink.  When the woman who&amp;#039;s sitting alone at the bar puts down her mobile device after texting, take a drink.   When she picks it back up again, take a drink. When the bartender over-enthusiastically describes a menu item and then says it&amp;#039;s his favorite thing on the menu and even when he&amp;#039;s not working he&amp;#039;ll come in and eat it, take a drink.  When he asks you how you&amp;#039;re enjoying his favorite menu item, take a drink.  When the decibel level goes from &amp;quot;murmur&amp;quot; to &amp;quot;din,&amp;quot; take a drink. That person who has been screaming every single thing she says \u2014 when she leaves, take a drink.  When someone says, &amp;quot;I fking love you,&amp;quot; take a drink.  When you say, &amp;quot;I fking love you, too,&amp;quot; go home. This is the latest in an ongoing series of instructions, or at least suggestions, regarding how to comport yourself while drinking. We call it How We Drink. Have a topic? E-mail us. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/food-drink/drinks/a9113/drinking-game-rules/>