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"You&amp;amp;#8217;re going to Pilates regularly, your body looks sick (go, girl), and you&amp;amp;#8217;re about to surprise your guy with a sex move he&amp;amp;#8217;s only seen in porn. One leg here, one leg there, he&amp;amp;#8217;s going to go crazy and you&amp;amp;#8217;re going to be screaming with delight. But Amber Madison, dating and relationship coach and author of Are All Guys Assholes?, has a news flash: Sometimes the sex positions that look HOT don&amp;amp;#8217;t always feel that way. That&amp;amp;#8217;s right. Before you break out a sex move that tests just how limber you really are, remember that those aren&amp;amp;#8217;t always the positions that will feel best for you. Sure, your guy will probably enjoy seeing you twisted into a pretzel, but Amber says that&amp;amp;#8217;s not what most women need to really get off: &amp;quot;Remember the positions that look the sexiest don&amp;amp;#8217;t always feel the best. It&amp;amp;#8217;s fine if you want to impress him with your willingness to do reverse cowgirl or the strides you&amp;amp;#8217;ve made in yoga to put your legs completely behind your head. But don&amp;amp;#8217;t get so distracted trying to be sexy during sex that you&amp;amp;#8217;re not putting yourself in the positions that feel the best.&amp;quot; Distracted is right. I think I would be concentrating so much on which body parts go where and how I look in these outside-the-box positions (not that reverse cowgirl is totally out of the norm ;) ) to really focus on how I&amp;amp;#8217;m feeling. Rather than just going with the flow with these so-called sexy moves, you&amp;amp;#8217;re making sure your body is in a totally unnatural position, and that leaves little room to enjoy the way your partner&amp;amp;#8217;s making you feel. Plus, let&amp;amp;#8217;s forget constantly trying to please our guys and be a little selfish. Why can&amp;amp;#8217;t we ladies stick with the moves we know we like once in a while? Wouldn&amp;amp;#8217;t it be sexy if you went home and told your partner, &amp;amp;#8220;No, I want to do it like this tonight.&amp;amp;#8221; So what really is the sexiest way to get down? Focus on you, says Amber. &amp;quot;Many women need direct clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. The sex positions that might work the best for you are likely ones where that could happen. When you are on top, position yourself so that your clitoris can rub against his stomach. This may mean lying down more horizontally on top of him rather than bouncing straight up and down (again, this may not seem &amp;quot;as hot&amp;quot; to you but may feel better). In other positions he may need to lend a hand to the cause. And while that may not look as elegant, it will pay off in terms of your pleasure.&amp;quot; And there you have it. Instead of going for the craziest, sexiest sex move you can think of this weekend, try the move you know will get you off. I mean, what&amp;amp;#8217;s sexier for your partner than to see how much he&amp;amp;#8217;s pleasing you? What&amp;amp;#8217;s your favorite sex position? Would you say it looks &amp;amp;#8220;hot&amp;amp;#8221;? Do you think there&amp;amp;#8217;s something to be said about ditching the moves that look really sexy so you&amp;amp;#8217;re not fussing so much and just concentrating on how you feel? J and I love trying new things, but at the end of the day I really love being on top because I know that&amp;amp;#8217;s what feels good for me. And, yeah, I&amp;amp;#8217;d say that makes me feel pretty darn sexy. Want more from Amber Madison? Check out her site and follow her on Twitter @AmberMadi. Photo: Conde Nast Archive "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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