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"FacebookPinterest\n\nTime to list the good guys and bad guys from the Super Bowl.\n\n\u00B7\u00B7\u00B7\n\nHERO: Seattle\n\n Even though I am not a Seahawks fan, there's something great about seeing an NFL franchise and its fanbase bust their championship cherry, and lord knows Seattle has been waiting for this moment for a long time. The last time Seattle won a major pro sports title (even when you count soccer, which Seattle people do because they are angry soccer fanboys) was 1979\u2014long enough ago for most fans never to have experienced, and won by a team (the NBA's Supersonics) that was stolen away. Since then, it's been nothing but anguish. These people have seen Ken Griffey Jr. and A-Rod bolt town. They've seen 100-win Mariner teams flop in the playoffs. They've seen Shawn Kemp father eighty-seven children. They've seen Gary Payton go carpetbagging for a title in Miami. And they've borne witness to decades upon decades of mediocre Seahawks football. Before Mike Holmgren arrived, this was the most aggressively average franchise in NFL history. Between 1983 and 2005, this team won between seven and nine games FIFTEEN times. They were a slow drip on your forehead.\n\nI have always held the opinion that no sports fan deserves anything. You chose to root for whatever team you root for, and you don't get extra karma points just for being the SeaHulk. But again, it's nice to see a city celebrate its first Super Bowl title. The last time it happened was to New Orleans in 2009, and those people are still celebrating. Their joy is contagious. There's no privilege in their exultations the way you get with Red Sox fans or Lakers fans. There's just raw happiness. There are thirteen NFL teams left who have never won a Super Bowl, and I hope they all get a chance in my lifetime.\n\nVILLAIN: People who will use this game as a referendum on Peyton Manning's greatness\n\n You can already hear the talk radio arteries being clogged with this endless debate, and you will suffer through it for nine months until the 2014 NFL season arrives and Peyton Manning has another chance to \"prove\" himself to Frank McHandjob listening to the Cowherd show. I'm sure Peyton Manning hated losing that game yesterday, especially in such decisive fashion, but I think he's been around long enough to know that there are times when he will play a better team, and he will play badly, and his teammates will play badly, and there ain't shit much else he can do about it. I think, more than anyone, Peyton Manning enjoys the process of quarterbacking\u2014all the study and work and scanning of defenses and what not. Like anyone, he loves winning, but his real joy is simply in playing. Manning wasn't even supposed to be here at this age and with all of his health issues, so just having the chance to play probably meant a great deal to him.\n\nYou can spin the GOAT argument any way you like. Because when people talk about \"greatest QB\", what they really is mean is \"favorite QB.\" I've been watching football my whole life, and outside of my own team's QBs, the three quarterbacks I liked watching play the most have been Joe Montana, Kurt Warner, and Tom Brady. I can't say definitively that any of those three are the BEST EVAR at the position. But if I want to conjure up some nebulous blend of stats and championship rings to make an argument, I can do that and then delude myself that somehow my makeshift formula is ironclad. It's what makes sports both fun and annoying all at once. None of these arguments will amount to anything. If you think Peyton is still the bestest ever, that's your right. If you think he's a choking loser, then go right ahead and think that. The beauty of sports is that you can always convince yourself of your own bullshit.\n\nHERO: Bruno Mars\n\n I don't listen to Bruno Mars voluntarily, but I know to pay my respects when a guy busts his ass up on the stage. Everyone slobbers over Beyonce, but she couldn't even be bothered to sing the \"Crazy In Love\" chorus at halftime last year. Mars came out with a shit-eating grin and did his best to keep you entertained during one of the absolute worst Super Bowls of my lifetime. So I appreciate the effort, even when the Chili Peppers came out and made me feel like I was a thousand years old.\n\nVILLAIN: Beats Music\n\n Hey guys, you know who would really make Dr. Dre's new streaming music service seem hip and cool? ELLEN DEGENERES. Why, it's a perfect match.\n\nHERO: Anyone who waited for a fucking train\n\n It wouldn't be a tri-state area Super Bowl without people being herded onto a filthy train platform and forced to wait until the sweet release of death. No amount of planning could change the fact that Penn Station is the worst place on Earth and the NJ Transit sucks and that Metlife Stadium has the curious distinction of being the least accessible destination in an area where everything else is easily accessed by mass transit. Penn Station is the reason New Yorkers ask themselves \"Why do I live here?\" at least three times a day.\n\nVILLAIN: The Broncos\n\n It was the last, precious football game of the season and you gentleman went out there and lit your own farts on fire. You didn't even have the decency to get shut out and make the game memorably terrible. I will NEVER forgive you, just as I have never forgiven the 2002 Raiders for eating a bag of shit in front of a hundred million people. You are all banned from the Super Bowl for life."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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