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"On Tuesday, I got a personal message via my Facebook page from a reader who wanted to know: &amp;quot;How do you work up the nerve to divorce?&amp;quot; She told me that she&amp;#039;s laid out the pros and cons and done the math for awhile now, but just can&amp;#039;t seem to pull the trigger and she feels stuck in her marriage. With her permission, I&amp;#039;d like to cover this here in the blog because I think we&amp;#039;ve all been there. I can&amp;#039;t tell you how long I second-guessed myself and clung to my corpse of a marriage, hoping some spark would revive it. The long and complicated answer to why she can&amp;#039;t pull the trigger could be a myriad of things. Maybe she&amp;#039;s worried about how this will affect her children. Maybe she&amp;#039;s never had to really be alone. Maybe it&amp;#039;s not the right time, logistically or financially. Maybe there&amp;#039;s still something worth salvaging in that marriage. Maybe she&amp;#039;s just plain afraid and needs to come to terms with all of it. Maybe it&amp;#039;s a little, or a lot, of all of that. The easier answer is that you&amp;#039;ll find the nerve when you&amp;#039;ve finally had enough. The tipping point for me was (strangely enough) not my husband&amp;#039;s latest affair. It was the realization that he didn&amp;#039;t respect me, and really never had, and most likely never would. I loved him with all my heart and I do believe he loved me, but love without respect is useless. I knew then that we didn&amp;#039;t have the foundation in place to build on, and he didn&amp;#039;t have the slightest urge to build anything with me. So tell me, Readers - what was your tipping point? What was it that finally made you say &amp;quot;Enough!&amp;quot; and decide that divorced was better than whatever you were living? I want to hear your stories, and I think we can all help each other by sharing them. [Follow Ellie on Facebook and Twitter] "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/a48629/how-did-you-find-the-guts/>