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"Call it the new 47%. That's the percentage of you who have unfriended someone on Facebook because of this election, according to our poll from a few hours back (which has 1,500 respondents and counting). \nThat's not even counting the folks you've muted or tried to avoid on the social network, since unfriending them would have serious repercussions. (You can't possibly unfriend that one conservative/liberal uncle of yours, not with Thanksgiving coming up.) \nNo, that's nearly half of you who have straight-up unfriended someone. As some of you might say: that's cold, bro.\nIt goes without saying that this is a pretty serious rift if repeated on a national scale. And it isn't good for democracy. We already face the problem of clustering, which is the troubling fact that more and more of us are living in like-minded communities in like-minded states. This group over here is watching Fox News exclusively, this other group is reading liberal blogs, and never the twain shall meet. \nExcept they do meet, these days, on Facebook. The social network is where the messy tangle we call our life story cements; all those people you wouldn't have met if you never left your home town get placed there. Geographically and politically diverse relationships, caught in amber.\nI know, trust me, I know: It can be hard seeing someone spewing the kind of political rhetoric that makes your toes curl. Even harder when you see the comments, where dozens of random people agree, and maybe one or two say their mind has been changed by something you know to be a vile lie. \n\nSEE ALSO Pew: Social Media Users 'Relentlessly Negative' About Politics\nSuddenly, you're invested, and you have to try to change their mind back. But if you reply yourself, you'll get buried by people you don't know. You'll lose your cool, and the whole thing will start to read like an inane YouTube comment thread. Far better to sweep the whole problem under the carpet and decide you never really liked that person anyway.\nWell, stop it. You did like that person, or you wouldn't have friended them in the first place. Life's too short, and the distances between us too great, to bear grudges. And it is your patriotic duty to listen to opinions that are different from your own, even when \u2014 especially when \u2014 they make your blood boil. \nAsk yourself why this person might think this way. Suspend your judgment. Empathize. What's their experience, and what might you learn from it? What's the nugget of truth in all this? \nEven if you can't find one, imagine your friend being imprisoned in an undemocratic regime for holding that belief. You wouldn't unfriend them then. Voltaire put it best: \"I don't agree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it.\" It's a phrase that still gives us chills, more than 200 years later.\nMemo to Obama Supporters\nOkay, you won. That means it is your responsibility to reach out to those you unfriended, or who unfriended you. Send them a request now. If you need an opening gambit, attach this article. \nBut whatever you do, don't crow about your guy's success. Here's another all-important quote for you, from Churchill: \"In war, resolution ... in victory, magnanimity.\"\nYou get to be the bigger person, so do it with humility. The President reached across the aisle in his victory speech, reprising his 2004 convention speech line about there being no red states or blue states but only United States. That would be a great thing to remember with every Facebook post you make right now. Mind you don't make the unfriending problem worse.\nMemo to Romney Supporters\nIt's got to hurt like hell right now. Your inclination is likely to be that you should avoid public forums like Facebook, especially if there's a lot of the opposition there. But remember, just about every Democrat knows how you're feeling. \nThink back to 2004. A candidate the party base wasn't really thrilled about who, if they were honest with themselves, was nominated because he had the best chance of defeating someone they saw as an illegitimate president. This compromise candidate had a lackluster summer, but an excellent first debate that boosted his poll numbers. On election day, in some polls, he was leading. A hard-fought struggle came down to Ohio, where this candidate lost. Some hoped he might win the popular vote, but he lost that too, by about 3 million. There was no consolation; it was a crushing defeat. \nAny of that sound familiar? \nSo yes, your Democratic Facebook friends know better than you might think what you're going through. If you were to reach out to them now, you might be surprised to find that they don't rub it in. They know how much guts a move like that would take. Besides, if you offer an olive branch and they laugh at it, then that's the clincher \u2014 they're not really worth being friends with in the first place. \nHave you patched things up with a Facebook friend since the election? Share your experience in the comments."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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