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" Ever wonder what problems in the bedroom warrant sessions with a sex therapist? Well, they&amp;#039;re not as surprising as you may think. We spoke to the experts to hear the most common reasons individuals and couples go to therapy. Find out more about the conditions, their causes and ways to treat them. You may end up learning something about your own sexual habits in the process. 1. Lack of Desire  Not feeling in the mood the way you used to? You&amp;#039;re not alone. &amp;quot;Low sexual desire or low libido, known to professionals as Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder, is the sexual problem most commonly reported to sex therapists,&amp;quot; says Stephen Betchen, DSW, an AASECT-certified sex therapist, diplomate and supervisor in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, and author of Magnetic Partners. &amp;quot;It&amp;#039;s more common in women, but men suffer from it as well. It is very difficult to treat, but the good news is that once the underlying cause is found, it is usually cured.&amp;quot;  While hormonal imbalances, hypothyroidism, pituitary tumors and renal dialysis as well as certain antidepressants and stimulants can trigger low sex drive, when medical reasons aren&amp;#039;t to blame, a sex therapist can help identify the emotional and psychological reasons and their antidotes. &amp;quot;I once saw a man who had low desire for his wife and it turned out that he was simply holding a lot of anger toward her, but was afraid to express it for fear of upsetting her,&amp;quot; says Dr. Betchen. &amp;quot;Once he figured out he had this anger and he vented a bit, his drive for her returned.&amp;quot; Want to identify your own low-desire triggers? Take Dr. Betchen&amp;#039;s advice and think about what frustrates you outside of the bedroom. Photo: Thinkstock 2. Mismatched Sex Drives  You want sex every night of the week, but your husband is perfectly happy with a few times a month. &amp;quot;By far, the most common reason that couples seek sex therapy is differences in desire for sex\u2014one partner wants it more than the other,&amp;quot; says Miriam Bellamy, LMFT, a marriage and family therapist in Roswell, Georgia. &amp;quot;The field of marital and sex therapy is woefully lacking in effectively treating this persistent and common issue.&amp;quot;  As a solution, Bellamy helps her patients understand that &amp;quot;it is normal for couples to have emotional and meaningful differences in the amount and kind of sex they want, and conflict around this issue is not about too much distance, but too much closeness.&amp;quot; The &amp;quot;cure,&amp;quot; she says, especially for couples who spend much of their time together, is to take a step back and &amp;quot;find a way to balance emotion and objectivity.&amp;quot; For example, if you&amp;#039;re the one with the lower sex drive, perhaps spending a little time away from your husband\u2014even for a few hours on a Saturday\u2014might help your desire improve. Photo: Joshua Sheldon/Getty Images 3. A Cheating Partner  After someone cheats, many marriages end. But those who decide to forgive and try again can benefit from sex therapy, which can help rebuild trust. In fact, many sex therapists say it&amp;#039;s one of the top reasons couples seek therapy in the first place.  &amp;quot;To heal the relationship, the person [who has had the affair] has to go cold turkey and give up their addiction or affair,&amp;quot; notes Barbara Bartlik, MD, a psychiatrist and sex therapist in New York City. She advises patients who have cheated to allow their life to be an &amp;quot;open book&amp;quot; to their partners. &amp;quot;They must be willing to reveal the details of their sexual secret to the extent that their partner wants to know,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;Some give their partner the password to their computer or cell phone, so their partner can check up on them. This may be necessary because the partner feels betrayed and can no longer trust the individual. It takes time and openness to reestablish trust.&amp;quot; Photo: Image Source/Getty Images 4. Issues After Childbirth and Kids  Many couples complain that the kids have ruined their sex life, and in many cases it&amp;#039;s true. Late nights with infants, breastfeeding, toddlers who have bad dreams\u2014they all can detract from a satisfying sex life. Many parents put sex on the back burner hoping to get back in the groove at some point down the road, but when they can&amp;#039;t, sex therapy can help. &amp;quot;The physical and emotional changes that happen after childbirth can have a strong impact on the relationship,&amp;quot; says Scott Haltzman, MD, a psychiatrist in Rhode Island and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men and The Secrets of Happily Married Women. &amp;quot;For women, changes in their hormone levels often leave them with a lower sex drive, particularly if they are nursing. Many women have also experienced changes to their body that leave them feeling uncomfortable.&amp;quot; And while men most often remain attracted to their wives at the same level they always were, some report being dramatically affected by the changes in their partner&amp;#039;s body, he adds.  Sex therapy, he says, can help a couple re-establish a connection and teach them to see each other as a man and a woman in a loving relationship, rather than just two sleep-deprived parents caring for the needs of young children. But, for starters, Dr. Haltzman and other experts say that new parents can benefit from these two strategies to heat things up in the bedroom: Put a lock on your door to reduce the anxiety about a child coming in unannounced and get a sitter for a once-a-week date night. The closeness you build outside the bedroom can have big payoffs when it comes to your sex life. Photo: Thinkstock 5. Orgasm Problems  Maybe you&amp;#039;re concerned about orgasm\u2014or lack thereof. This is one of the many reasons women head to sex therapy, says Debby Herbenick, PhD, a research scientist at Indiana University and author of Because It Feels Good. &amp;quot;The most common orgasm-related problem is not being able to orgasm at all. Typically, younger women come to sex therapy with this issue,&amp;quot; she explains. How can therapy help? &amp;quot;Sex therapists often provide women with information about their bodies, including the clitoris. Many women do not know much about the clitoris or how it can most easily be stimulated, such as through oral sex, masturbation or certain intercourse positions,&amp;quot; notes Dr. Herbenick. &amp;quot;Then, often, a sex therapist will suggest that a woman engage in masturbation, at home and alone, rather than with her partner, so that she doesn&amp;#039;t feel pressured to &amp;#039;perform.&amp;#039; Often, with practice, women are able to learn to orgasm through self-pleasuring/masturbation exercises with their fingers or with a vibrator.&amp;quot; Photo: Flying Colours Ltd /Getty Images 6. Pain During Intercourse   While it&amp;#039;s important to see your primary care doctor or ob-gyn if you&amp;#039;re experiencing pain during or after intercourse, many doctors\u2014after an initial checkup\u2014may suggest sex therapy to remedy the pain. &amp;quot;Sometimes pain during intercourse is medical in nature, such as conditions like vulvodynia and lichen sclerosus. But sometimes it is behavioral, so a sex therapist can find out from a woman what is happening at home and make suggestions, such as to spend more time in foreplay, which enhances vaginal lubrication and makes the vagina larger in size to accommodate a typical penis, or to use lubricant or try certain sex positions, such as woman on top, that give the woman more control during sex,&amp;quot; says Dr. Herbenick. Sex therapy can help women and their partners learn to better communicate about the pain and how it affects their relationship, adds Dr. Herbenick. &amp;quot;Sex therapy can also help women and men widen their scope of what &amp;#039;sex&amp;#039; is\u2014for example, to consider oral sex, sex toy play, mutual caressing and other forms of sexual pleasure. Some doctors and therapists are even finding that vibration on women&amp;#039;s genitals can help reduce pain.&amp;quot; Photo: B2M Productions/Getty Images 7. Pornography and Other Sexual Addictions  Sexual addictions\u2014described as addictions to prostitutes, pornography, virtual sex on computers, masturbation and others\u2014can destroy intimacy, trust and sexual satisfaction in a marriage. Sex therapists are trained to deal with these intricate issues to rebuild a couple&amp;#039;s trust and connection when a pornography addiction or other sexual dependence threatens a relationship. &amp;quot;It is more common in men, but women suffer from sex addiction as well,&amp;quot; notes Dr. Betchen.  &amp;quot;Some therapists prefer to view the problem as obsessive-compulsive as opposed to the 12-step addictive model, but nevertheless the treatment is similar.&amp;quot; He notes, &amp;quot;Like the alcoholic, drug addict or gambler, the first step on the road to health is for the addict to admit he or she has a problem. Most are in denial even though it is interfering with their functioning.&amp;quot; Want to help your spouse with a sexual addiction? While sex therapy is a great place to start, couples can work together to try to identify the root cause of the addiction. &amp;quot;Knowing where it came from helps understand the trigger points and gives the addict more control over his or her behavior,&amp;quot; Dr. Betchen says.  Just as drug addicts have to give up their drug, those who suffer from a sexual addiction may need to go through a period of strict celibacy, say experts. &amp;quot;In the case of a sex addiction, the patient is instructed to avoid all sexual activity, including masturbation and sex with their regular partner, as well as triggers for acting out, such as drinking alcohol, for a period of 30 to 90 days,&amp;quot; notes Dr. Bartlik. &amp;quot;The patient may also go into group therapy as well as individual treatment, where he or she is encouraged to express his or her feelings and learn to deal with negative emotions in a constructive manner.&amp;quot; Photo: Shutterstock Sarah Jio is the health and fitness blogger for Glamour.com. Visit her blog, Vitamin G.  "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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