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" Just yesterday, I advised a reader that a little laughter wasn&amp;#x27;t necessarily a bad thing in the bedroom. This week, the Literary Review paid tribute to some authors who prove that point, even if they didn&amp;#x27;t mean to, announcing the winner of the 21st annual Literary Review Bad Sex in Fiction Award. For weekend laughs, here are some scenes from the winning author, Manil Suri, and the other nominees: The ultimate award-winning passage: &amp;amp;#8216;Surely supernovas explode that instant, somewhere, in some galaxy. The hut vanishes, and with it the sea and the sands&amp;amp;#8212;only Karun&amp;amp;#8217;s body, locked with mine, remains. We streak like superheroes past suns and solar systems, we dive through shoals of quarks and atomic nuclei. In celebration of our breakthrough fourth star, statisticians the world over rejoice.&amp;amp;#8217; &amp;amp;#8212;from The City of Devi by Manil Suri The sentence that will make you never want to see, touch, or hear of a penis again: &amp;quot;So magnified and so keen were her feelings that her inner nerves could even feel the bumps, the ridges, the pimples, the few stray hairs along the shaft of his male rod.&amp;quot; &amp;amp;#8212;from House of Earth by Woody Guthrie The scene that will give you very uncomfortable flashbacks to your sophomore-year anatomy class: Anxiously he began to get the impression that his vas deferens was initiating its rhythmic squeezing too soon, too soon &amp;amp;#133; But phew she too seemed to be surfing the waves of neuromuscular euphoria, so that as, sweating, panting, he bowed his forehead to her chest, she gripped him tight, her sharp nails stabbing; and then they were grinning and kissing each other&amp;#x27;s noses, cheeks; and then they lay entangled for a moment, breathing; and then they rose, one after another, went for a piss, came back and settled into bed again. &amp;amp;#8212;from The World Was All Before Them by Matthew Reynolds The passage that explains why you never hooked up with that guy who was way too into camping and hiking: For me, Victoria was like a deep nocturnal forest that I strode through without knowing where I was going, through woodland, amid ferns, under tall shivering trees, far from any path. There were noises, puddles, odours, dampness, shapes that vanished, treetops overhanging our bodies. I thought of nothing. I let our frolics lead where they would. I experienced moments of fulfillment and astonishment, euphoria and intimidation, and then episodes of grace when Victoria smiled at me, overcome with happiness, as if we were lying in a glade. &amp;amp;#8212;from The Victoria System by Eric Reinhardt The one and only time you will hear me saying that cheese didn&amp;#x27;t improve a situation: Reaching behind me, I found the Brie and broke off a fragment, sucking her nipple through it. She tasted almost as she had the day I took the drop of milk on my finger. &amp;amp;#8212;from The Last Banquet by Jonathan Grimwood (The longer excerpt from this one is&amp;amp;#133;well, it&amp;#x27;s something.) Which do you think is the worst? What&amp;#x27;s the most awkward sex scene you&amp;#x27;ve ever read/seen on-screen? Get an official good sex award: *101 Ways to Have the Best Sex of Your Life *12 Things Guys Wish You Knew in Bed *Love and Sex Advice to Live By"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2013/12/worst-sex-writing-2013>