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" Someone has a problem with Mark Bittman. Her name is Meg Thompson, and she wrote a scathing critique of Bittman and his five totally ridiculous and out-of-the-question oatmeal recipes that he was invited to present on the Today Show. The bestselling cookbook author and New York Times food columnist&amp;#039;s crime, according to the admittedly hungover Thompson, was to presume that cooking might take a certain degree of effort which didn&amp;#039;t involve using a microwave: &amp;quot;Mark was just doing his job, and his job is to encourage class struggle, seeing as how one of his recipes is Steel-Cut Oat Pilaf with Coconut and Raisins.&amp;quot; That&amp;#039;s just her second paragraph. As you stick with the 850-word piece, you find that she gets quite quotable (bolding ours). There&amp;#039;s this: For starters, the word &amp;quot;pilaf&amp;quot; should not even be used before 8 p.m. It also shouldn&amp;#039;t be used by anyone under the age of 31 or by someone who only goes to Target to scan the perimeter of the store for clearance lip gloss and red wine. Or this: Not only do you suggest that we do more than run tap water over our oats, you are actually proposing that there are multiple other ways to go about this. Or this: So here&amp;#039;s my question. Does anyone make these recipes? Even people that buy coconuts off-the-cuff, do they spend their mornings toasting it in a skillet over low heat? And this:  In a way, all of this breaks my heart. Right now I am picturing a woman, standing at a stovetop, eyeing her pan of coconut, making sure it doesn&amp;#039;t burn. She wants her family to be just as happy as the gleaming hosts on the Today Show. She knows that every single one of those hosts is riddled with existential angst, but fuck it, she is going to toast this coconut and then fluff it with a fork even if it makes her late. Because isn&amp;#039;t that what capitalism does to us? Makes us all want something? Dream for something bigger than we are? Bigger than our oatmeal? Does Mark Bittman even eat this or does he fantasize about French Toast Sticks from Burger King like a normal person? And this is what you do to me, Today Show. Before I watched you, I thought I had it all together. I thought I was doing the right thing, eating oatmeal in the morning, half-awake, staring at the wall. Now, I&amp;#039;m all torn up inside.  The fact is that \u2014 of course \u2014 there&amp;#039;s absolutely a disconnect between those with the resources to make gourmet meals designed by celebrity chefs, and those who unfortunately cannot. But Mark Bittman&amp;#039;s not a jerk for teaching people how to cook. And we&amp;#039;ll offer a tiny criticism of our own, and mention that you could have just turned the damn TV off, and then perhaps fixed yourself some easy eggs to soothe your hangover, instead. We feel for you, Meg. You can&amp;#039;t even comprehend leftovers: There&amp;#039;s one called Leftover Oatmeal Fritters. People have leftover oatmeal? How is that possible? [McSweeney&amp;#039;s, and the offending video here] "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.esquire.com/food-drink/a17992/oatmeal-class-struggle-rant-14966725/?click=news>