<http://schema.org/articleBody>
" All the readers in the house from broken homes put your hands in the air! BOOM BOOM, LET ME HEAR YOU SAY WAYYYYO.  You guys all know that we are coming up on the Adult Child of Divorce&amp;#039;s most fraught time of the year: Thanksgiving. Many American families have the good fortune of celebrating introducing smallpox and firewater to Native Americans Thanksgiving just one time a year, clustering their perfect nuclear family into one room to gorge themselves on food and passive-aggressively ask cousin Abby how her husband Mike&amp;#039;s &amp;quot;freelancing&amp;quot; has been going (everyone all know Mike has been smoking weed in the family&amp;#039;s parked Taurus for months). We Whose Parents Officially No Longer Love Each Other, on the other hand, have the weird obligation to celebrate Thanksgiving twice. Once, on Thanksgiving proper, and the second time, one or two days later, with the parental unit you see less often. Unless you are one of the lucky few whose parents are both excellent chefs, this is the the one who cannot cook. His/her apartment might be smaller than you expected, and he might not clean as much as he should, and the table you are eating off of might be from Ikea and might be called a gr\u00F6nkulla.  There seems, at first glance, very little to be thankful for the second Thanksgiving around. However, I am here to tell you that you are wrong. Let&amp;#039;s assume, as is so often the case, that you spend Thanksgiving foremost with your mother and the second Thanskgiving \u2014 Dadsgiving \u2014 with your father. Do I bring leftovers from Real Thanksgiving to Dadsgiving? Unless he specifically requests this, he could be insulted by the implication that you don&amp;#039;t want to have a whole new Dadsgiving meal cooked by him. Hell, maybe you will end up ordering in Chinese, but it&amp;#039;s still a unique meal shared by just you guys, not leftovers from Mom&amp;#039;s turn \u2014 that&amp;#039;s ultimately what he wants. But his cooking is soooo bad. If this is the case, either head over a little early and help out, or make up some reason to skip certain tougher Thanksgiving dishes in lieu of ones that literally nobody could fuck up. (Seriously, even Forrest Gump could handle marshmallows and sweet potatoes.) What if his new girlfriend is there? I don&amp;#039;t want to meet her. Tough shit, kind of. If you get fair warning, be the bigger person and act like it&amp;#039;s no big deal. She&amp;#039;s probably be nice enough. Her name is maybe Marcia, or Pam. She&amp;#039;ll give you a Bedazzled toothbrush. Shit will be inevitably awkward. But don&amp;#039;t immediately text your mom about how fat she is, or something. What if s/he starts asking me about the other parent? Sort of the same principle as the one above. Both are rules of a fun little game I like to play called Don&amp;#039;t Be A Shithead. If schadenfreude is a thing between your parents, each one hoping for the other&amp;#039;s failure, they will nag you for information immediately. &amp;quot;Is s/he dating? Is his/her house depressing? Did s/he find a new job yet?&amp;quot; Do not answer. Be Switzerland.  What if we run out of things to talk about?  This is literally the reason Arrested Development is on Instant Netflix in its entirety. Mitch Hurwitz, the children of divorce thank you. There is also festive holiday booze, but don&amp;#039;t hit the sauce too hard. You never know what might slip out. (&amp;quot;Mom&amp;#039;s gay now!&amp;quot; is never a good way to end Dadsgiving.) Gr\u00F6nkulla.  Follow Anna on Twitter. Via Touchstone "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5079/dadsgiving-guide/>