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"#Gladiators, this winter finale left me about as underwhelmed as sex with an ex in a jankity Ramada Inn. I not only wanted the show to be over soon after it started, but I also kept thinking to myself, I&amp;#x27;ve broken more of a sweat trying to open a jar of Smuckers grape jelly. I know that&amp;#x27;s harsh, but I have to be honest. Last week&amp;#x27;s &amp;quot;YOLO&amp;quot; episode made my jaw drop, but during &amp;quot;A Door Marked Exit,&amp;quot; my jaw remained undescended. I&amp;#x27;m not implying that nothing happened during the show&amp;amp;#8212;we are talking about Scandal here&amp;amp;#8212;but the twists and turns weren&amp;#x27;t that interesting. Even the patented last five minutes of &amp;quot;Oh, no, Shonda &amp;amp; Co. didn&amp;#x27;t&amp;quot; weren&amp;#x27;t popping. But maybe it&amp;#x27;s just me. Let&amp;#x27;s discuss what went down and see if we&amp;#x27;re on the same page. Fitz doing some sexy wall leaning during his showdown with Papa Pope. We open with Sally having a flashback to her confrontation with Daniel. She&amp;#x27;s mad that he sexed on James because it&amp;#x27;s going to ruin her career. If I were her, I would probably be more concerned with the fact that my man hopped up and down on some dude&amp;#x27;s peen like it was a pogo stick at the county fair. Things get really heated because he tells her she knew what she was getting into. She denies it, and he&amp;#x27;s like, &amp;quot;You saw me back in college with that boy from across the way,&amp;quot; but she needed him because nobody else wanted her. Yeah, she did need him. Needed him to tell her to stop dressing like a judge at a chili cook-off. Obviously he did not do that; therefore, she killed him. J/K. She murdered him because he threatened to leave her and be with a dude, and hell if she was going to have the whole world know Daniel&amp;#x27;s gay. Oh, Sally... Next, we see Cy show up at Sally&amp;#x27;s. She wants guidance on how to handle this situation. It&amp;#x27;s clear that he knows he&amp;#x27;s partially to blame for Danny boy&amp;#x27;s death because he goes to the bathroom and throws up. I know that last week I told Cy to kiss my grits, but for a brief moment, I feel bad for him. We cut to OPA: Olivia&amp;#x27;s asking her team to get her any and all information on Mama Pope/Marie Wallace so she can be arrested when she lands in Hong Kong. Everyone leaves except Liv and Huck. Again, she inquires about Quinn, and Huck says she&amp;#x27;s at B613. He knows this because after he ripped a tooth out her mouth like a scented perfume ad from a fashion magazine, he inserted a tracking device. At B613, Quinn is holding the needle&amp;amp;#8212;just when she&amp;#x27;s going to stab Rowan in the hand, someone enters his office with information about Mama Pope. I think we all knew that Rowan was not going out like that, right? Anyway, Quinn goes to the bathroom, removes the tracking device from her mouth, and flushes that and the syringe down the toilet. At the same time, we see Liv yelling at Huck because they have no idea where Quinn is and there&amp;#x27;s no chance of her coming to OPA because he tortured her. She orders him and Jake a.k.a. Captain Goose Down Pillow Lips to track Quinn via Papa Pope, who is busy trying to catch Mama Pope. As Rowan and his henchmen are driving, two black SUVs block the car and take him away. He&amp;#x27;s placed in an interrogation room. Fitz enters, tells him he&amp;#x27;s being held until Mama Pope&amp;#x27;s plane lands and that during this time, they&amp;#x27;re going to have a talk. He asks why Rowan had the plane shot down if Mama Pope wasn&amp;#x27;t on it. Rowan says he can&amp;#x27;t answer that as it&amp;#x27;s a matter of national security. Quinn starts to leave B613 when Charlie stops her and tells her they have work to do: cleaning up the mess Sally made. While they&amp;#x27;re doing that, Cy is coaching Sally and telling her the story is that Daniel died of a heart attack. Sally, shell-shocked, wants to face justice. Like clockwork, Cy manipulates her into keeping quiet. Is there no one this man can get to bend to his will? The next day, Abby and Harrison go to see David so they can get Mama Pope/Marie&amp;#x27;s file. He says he will email it to her. Um, is that the safest thing to do? As easily as it seems that people&amp;#x27;s emails get hacked on the show, there&amp;#x27;s no way I would be caught dead sending my man highly sensitive files. I&amp;#x27;d meet him at chill place like Panera and bust out some baseball umpire hand signals: The average Panera customer will have no idea what I&amp;#x27;m doing and just think I&amp;#x27;m mad because your panini is cold as opposed to revealing confidential information. CGDPL and Huck tell Liv that someone took Rowan, but they can&amp;#x27;t tell who. Liv&amp;#x27;s angry, gives Huck some attitude, and leaves the room. Jake chases after her and asks her to cut Huck some slack. She tells him to mind his business, and CGDPL is like, &amp;quot;I get it. Your mama ain&amp;#x27;t who you thought. All the sweet memories you have of her were taken away from you.&amp;quot; UH, dude you cannot possibly get this because when most people are surprised about a secret from their mama&amp;#x27;s past, it&amp;#x27;s usually something lame like she switched her baby to formula a few weeks early, not that their mother is one of the top shady people in the world. So, Jake, you absolutely don&amp;#x27;t get it. And just as I finish thinking all of this, CGDPL speaks the truth by reminding Liv that because Mama Pope is bad that doesn&amp;#x27;t make her dad good. He ruined CGDPL, and just like her, Huck had all his happy memories taken from him thanks to Papa Pope. I know I just yelled at CGDPL a few sentences ago, but then he went and made logical sense. I&amp;#x27;m sorry, Jake. Let&amp;#x27;s try and make a baby real quick. We return to a zoned-out Sally looking at Daniel&amp;#x27;s dead body in bed. Cy tells her the doctor is on his way and she has to stick with the plan. The doctor examines Daniel while Cy talks, but he wants to examine the body more, which is not good because he will see that Sally stabbed Danny boy up like a pork shank on a Weber grill. As the doctor starts unbuttoning Daniel&amp;#x27;s PJs, Sally yells and collapses on Daniel&amp;#x27;s body, saying that no one is allowed to touch him. Cy asks the doc to skip the rest of this examination. The doctor agrees and says he will write it down as a heart attack. Mellie goes to see Cy and can barely contain her joy about Daniel&amp;#x27;s death. Cy, sad about everything, tells her what really happened and they&amp;#x27;re partially to blame. He then says that they&amp;#x27;ve done tons of bad things, but this is the most trifling. Agreed. He resumes drinking, but Mellie tells him to get it together and focus on keeping their eye on the prize. Next, Mellie calls Fitz, let&amp;#x27;s him know about Daniel, and says she&amp;#x27;ll visit Sally and give their condolences. They hang up, and Fitz returns to Rowan. Fitz says he&amp;#x27;s screwing Liv every chance he can get. Wait, what?! I don&amp;#x27;t understand this game plan, but just like after every time a lawyer on Law &amp;amp; Order: SVU says something ridiculous to persuade the jury, the judge gets annoyed and goes: I do the same because I want to see where the heck Fitz is going with this sex talk&amp;amp;#8212;hold up, did he just tell her daddy that he loves the way Liv TASTES?!?! This mess makes me react the way I do when my boyfriend tells me he wants to go on a romantic vacation and suggests we stay in a hostel to save money: To talk about someone&amp;#x27;s daughter to their face like that is not only gross but hella disrespectful, so I have to give props to Rowan for not slapping the taste out Fitz&amp;#x27;s mouth with all the bars of soap. He gets further props for chuckling and reading Fitz to filth. Never before in my whole life have I seen someone get read and highlighted for later reference like a freshman&amp;#x27;s copy of Beowulf. Papa Pope calls out Fitz&amp;#x27;s white privilege, calls him a boy, says he has squandered everything that was handed to him on a silver platter, is not only not good enough to hold Liv&amp;#x27;s cocoa-buttered hand, but that he doesn&amp;#x27;t love her and is using her as a door marked exit a.k.a. being with her means he doesn&amp;#x27;t have to fulfill his daddy&amp;#x27;s dream of being President, and he will always be a disappointing son of a senator, while Liv will achieve greatness. Everyone please bow down to Joe Morton and give him an Emmy because his acting was incredible in this scene. We cut to OPA: Abby gives Liv a file on Mama Pope/Marie. We learn that MP&amp;#x27;s parents were with the Marxist Liberation Front, MP fell off the grid for a while until she popped up in Paris under the alliance Margaux Bouvier, and in Germany, she was Hannah Stuart. The aliases go on and on&amp;amp;#8212;she was someone different in each country. It turns out she was paid large sums of money by anti-American groups to steal classified CIA documents and most likely played Papa Pope. Abby thinks Live should let MP go because she didn&amp;#x27;t kill anyone and was locked up in a cell for 22 years. Cy arrives home and walks in on James watching the news about Daniel. Cy says he didn&amp;#x27;t kill Daniel and wants to know if James is sad/scared because he suspects Cy did it or because he can&amp;#x27;t have sex with Daniel again. Cy, take every seat in Arthur Ashe Stadium. Leo visits Sally and discusses her political future. He wants to push back the announcement a few weeks, but she doesn&amp;#x27;t want to run at all. Just then, Mellie enters and Leo leaves. Mellie tells Sally that the White House is taking care of everything&amp;amp;#8212;wink&amp;amp;#8212;and not to worry about what actually happened to Danny. Next, we see Quinn at Charlie&amp;#x27;s place. He tells her she can&amp;#x27;t go home with Huck looking for her. They cuddle. I like this relationship, I think. James tells David that he sexed on Daniel and either Cy or Sally got jealous and killed him. No, James! I would not be doing this. Loose lips sink ships, and yours are about to sink the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria a.k.a. your bank account, your LensCrafters budget, and your life. Shut up! He asks David to investigate, but David wants no part in this because James screwed him over last time with the election-rigging case. While Abby, Liv, and Harrison are trying to figure out why he shot down the plan, Jake and Huck track Rowan and figure out that he&amp;#x27;s at the Pentagon. They call Liv and let her know, and she calls Fitz and demands that she see Papa Pope. As she talks to her father, she realizes Mama Pope lied to Rowan and there was never a bomb on the plane. By the time he found out, it was too late and those people died for no reason. Mama Pope is pure evil, y&amp;#x27;all, which is not surprising considering she chewed on her wrists like it was a pack of tropical Starbursts. Liv tells Fitz to arrest MP the second she gets off the plane. She exits. Fitz takes off Rowan&amp;#x27;s handcuffs and Rowan says that B613 is not an individual, it&amp;#x27;s a snake. If he tries to cut off its head, another one will grow in its place. Meanwhile, Charlies wakes up and finds that Quinn is not in bed. She shows up at OPA and no one is trying to talk to her. Burn. She goes into Huck&amp;#x27;s office and demands that he says something. He goes, &amp;quot;If you want me to say, &amp;#x27;I&amp;#x27;m sorry,&amp;#x27; I won&amp;#x27;t because I&amp;#x27;m not. If it weren&amp;#x27;t for Liv, I would&amp;#x27;ve pulled out all of your teeth. I would kill you right now.&amp;quot; Then he says the meanest thing: She&amp;#x27;s not a gladiator anymore. Quinn looks stunned and leaves. You know what, Huck? F**k your bedside table, the Bose sound-round speakers you have sitting on that table, and, most importantly, F**K YO COUCH!: Quinn is about as bright as a $5 flashlight, but thanks to you repeatedly turning a cold shoulder to her and cussing her out, she&amp;#x27;s going right back into Charlie&amp;#x27;s arms and B613&amp;#x27;s grasp. Does that really seem like a good idea to you? Cy and James are at home. Cy delivers a speech about how James is the love of his life, and James just didn&amp;#x27;t realized who he married to until now. But he will still fight James in court to get sole custody of their child if James tries to leave. James, please leave this man. You deserve so much better. Liv arrives home. Fitz calls her and tells her that Mama Pope&amp;#x27;s plane never made it to Hong Kong. They found it in Mongolia with all the people on the plane killed. Liv goes back to OPA to do some work. Jake shows up and offers to track her down, but Liv tells him it&amp;#x27;s no use. CGDPL then walks over to Liv and kisses her, says goodbye, and that he really loved her. UGH, at this point, I can&amp;#x27;t even get mad over this goofy-ass non-relationship. She loves Fitz, and Fitz loves her, so all of this other crap is pointless. The. End. We&amp;#x27;re now at Daniel&amp;#x27;s funeral. Leo keeps pressuring Sally about running because it&amp;#x27;s what Daniel would want and that&amp;#x27;s when she snaps and says, &amp;quot;He&amp;#x27;s in hell because he&amp;#x27;s a sodomite and deserved what he got!&amp;quot; Leo realizes that she killed Daniel and is pissed that she called the White House instead of him. Back at David&amp;#x27;s office: Some lady walks in, says she worked on technology that the NSA used to spied on people&amp;#x27;s phone calls and takes the battery out of his phone before pulling a tape recorder out of her purse and has him press play. It&amp;#x27;s the conversation between Cy and Sally right after she murderized Daniel. Sally really done messed up. Bye, girl! Rowan and Liv are on the phone. She wants to know if he was trying to protect her from who she was. He changes the subject and wants to have Sunday dinner and lets her know she&amp;#x27;s not going to get answers to the questions she&amp;#x27;s asking. They end their call, and he heads down the hallway to his office. He opens the door and sees CGDPL is behind his desk. We learn that Jake is the new Command. I&amp;#x27;m sorry, but I can&amp;#x27;t stop laughing at this foolishness. In fact, everyone in the world can&amp;#x27;t stop laughing at this. For serious, myself and the damn partridge in a pear tree from the Twelve Days of Christmas song are laughing at this B.S. Rowan bounces, and believe me, this is not the last we&amp;#x27;re going to see of him. CGDPL calls Fitz and let&amp;#x27;s him know what happened. That&amp;#x27;s when Fitz says they&amp;#x27;re going to make a good team. Do you have Hamburger Helper for brains, Fitz? You know Jake has designs on your side piece. How can you think he is here for you? He&amp;#x27;s not, boo. Cy and James are lying in bed. Time-out. Why do they have such a small-ass bed? There&amp;#x27;s no reason for them to be up in a twin-size bed like this is sleep-away camp. No wonder they&amp;#x27;re mad at each other all the time. Sure, Cy being the devil is a problem, but it probably doesn&amp;#x27;t help matters that every time they both lie on their side, Cy&amp;#x27;s sleep boner is digging into James&amp;#x27; back. Anyway, James is concerned with bigger matters. He tells Cy to make him the White House Press Secretary and he won&amp;#x27;t leave him. Cy agrees. We end on Liv at home. Her phone rings and it&amp;#x27;s Mama Pope. Liv wants to know where she is and MP tells her that they&amp;#x27;ll see each other soon. MP hangs up, throws her phone in the garbage, and walks away from the White House. This really doesn&amp;#x27;t leave me chomping at the bit, waiting excitedly for February 27 when the show returns. Pretty meh winter finale if you ask me. What did you think of last night&amp;#x27;s winter finale? Are you surprised that Mama Pope returned to D.C.? And do you think will Sally change her mind and run for President? Finally, thanks for reading, commenting on, and tweeting my Scandal recaps! You all have been amazing. See you on February 27 when the second half of the season picks back up. Love you. Mean it."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
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