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"I&amp;#x27;ve been spending a lot of time becoming the &amp;amp;quot;best version of me&amp;amp;quot; -- emotionally, but mostly physically -- before moving back to New York. I&amp;#x27;m usually so secure with myself, definitely more low-maintenance&amp;amp;nbsp; than most of my friends, but I guess there are times in life when, for whatever reason, looks matter more. This &amp;amp;quot;Am I pretty enough?&amp;amp;quot; panic was triggered by a few things: -- Had an almost-perfect phoner with The Doc in NYC, until he said,&amp;amp;nbsp; &amp;amp;quot;So, how are you looking these days?&amp;amp;quot;&amp;amp;nbsp; Aside from a total reassessment of this guy&amp;#x27;s personality, it left a lump in my throat and a sudden sense of self-consciousness.&amp;amp;nbsp; &amp;amp;nbsp; -- Saw &amp;amp;quot;College Crush&amp;amp;quot; with a size zero. Don&amp;#x27;t care &amp;#x27;bout him -- but the whole &amp;amp;quot;I&amp;#x27;m dating a supermodel&amp;amp;quot; thing is never....warm and fuzzy. -- Went to the legendary Yoshi from Fekkai last week. Showed him some Prada picture -- he gave me exactly what I wanted, which was about 4 inches shorter than usual. Today, I decided I can&amp;#x27;t live with my shoulder-length &amp;amp;quot;bob&amp;amp;quot; because I&amp;#x27;m no Prada model, and guys love long hair. SO....psycho-me booked an appointment at Vered, the best salon in LA for extensions. Yup, bipolar, broke, and now debating bangs. -- Keep seeing the flawless Jessica Alba at Equinox, where I work out. Should be inspiring. Not so much. -- We have these unbelievably beautiful Italian men coming to dinner on NYE -- since 69% of you said the language barrier is no probelmo. Not complaining -- just want to knock their socks off after all this antipication. Where has my confidence gone? I usually like my imperfections!&amp;amp;nbsp; I&amp;#x27;m just on overdrive right now.&amp;amp;nbsp; There&amp;#x27;s the inevitable tearful goodbye with EET, Shelley, Runyon Canyon, etc... among other emotional breakdowns. Then it&amp;#x27;s off to NYC, where friends are waiting, guys are gathering and hopes are high.&amp;amp;nbsp; Maybe I&amp;#x27;m focusing my nervous energy on flowy hair and hard-abs, because it&amp;#x27;s less scary than the real stuff.&amp;amp;nbsp; Maybe it&amp;#x27;s a good sign that I care so much. Maybe I&amp;#x27;m doing what any other girl would do before resurfacing in the city she calls home. What do you think, are there times in life when it&amp;#x27;s okay to obsess over your looks? Click here to vote PS- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR....may all your dreams come true....and may none of us sound this self-deprecating ever again!!! xxAlyssaPPS- I&amp;#x27;ll probably post again before NYE.&amp;amp;nbsp; I refuse to end the year blogging about bad hair and skinny b-tches!!"^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/man-needs-date/2006/12/the-best-version-of-me>