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" Stalling out when you&amp;#039;re thisclose to a thigh-quaking climax is not the ideal way to end a sack session. So why does it happen to so many women? Blame a &amp;quot;cognitive distraction&amp;quot;\u2014which is just fancy science-speak for any thoughts that can throw you off your game. &amp;quot;Many women have to be focused and in the right mind-set in order to orgasm,&amp;quot; says Megan Fleming, PhD, of greatlifegreatsex.com. &amp;quot;When an intrusive or negative thought pops into your head, it can be almost impossible to get past it.&amp;quot; Here are the top three mental mojo killers, plus advice on how to block them from your brain so you cross that finish line every time. &amp;quot;I have like, two years worth of laundry to do&amp;quot; Women are especially prone to running through their to-do list\u2014I need to send so and so that email, this room needs a serious tidying-up\u2014at inopportune times, says Fleming. Once the monologue gets going, however, it&amp;#039;s difficult to shut it down. So prevent it from happening in the first place by removing visual cues, like your laundry basket or laptop, that might set it off before you and your guy start getting into it. Out of sight really is out of mind.  &amp;quot;What is taking so damn long?!&amp;quot; Stressing over when, when, when your big O will happen is the grand finale&amp;#039;s kryptonite. This train of thought is what&amp;#039;s known as &amp;quot;spectatoring,&amp;quot; says Fleming: You&amp;#039;re observing yourself in the moment, rather than being present in it. The solution: Take a deep breath\u2014when we&amp;#039;re tense, we tend to hold our breath without even realizing it, and some studies show that inhaling and exhaling in a way that mimics the breathing pattern of an orgasm can help bring one on. Then describe what you&amp;#039;re thinking or feeling out loud, even in a whisper. For instance, &amp;quot;I love when you move your tongue like that&amp;quot; or &amp;quot;Your body feels amazing on top of mine.&amp;quot; You&amp;#039;ll start experiencing pleasure rather than anticipating it. &amp;quot;I am jiggling up a storm in this angle.&amp;quot;  Girl-on-top may be one of the most surefire ways to get off, since it puts you in the driver&amp;#039;s seat. But it&amp;#039;s not always the most forgiving position in the world\u2014especially after a big dinner. Here&amp;#039;s the thing: Whether you&amp;#039;re self-conscious about your jiggly tummy or some other body part, your guy isn&amp;#039;t even noticing it\u2014he&amp;#039;s focusing on how awesome you look and how good you feel. If that doesn&amp;#039;t keep you from slipping into negativity mode, tweak your positioning. For example, stay in girl on top but extend yourself over your guy, so your body is less visible, or go with side-by-side booty, which covers you up yet keeps your hands free so you still have sexy control. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a3713/things-that-get-in-the-way-of-your-orgasm/>