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" Question  Other Qs &amp;amp; As Can I convince her that I am not a pervert? Can men look at porn and still want their wife? He keeps on and on looking at porn on the Internet He prefers Internet porn to the real thing He watched porn while I slept He watches porn videos in secret He&amp;amp;#8217;s been having sex with prostitutes Her man seems to prefer &amp;amp;#8216;Internet&amp;amp;#8217; sex Husband is into Internet porn and emotionally involved with someone else I caught him looking at porn on the Internet I&amp;amp;#8217;d like my partner to look at porn sites with me &amp;amp;#8211; not behind my back I found love-messages when I looked at my partner&amp;#039;s email account ... I have miscarried twice &amp;amp;#8211; and my husband is obsessed with porn My boyfriend has an online porn habit My ex-partner enjoys smacking my bottom My husband is hopelessly addicted to porn My man has spent lots of money on premium rate phone lines My partner is a transvestite My wife is getting &amp;amp;#8216;sex&amp;amp;#8217; from an Internet chat room Porn sites on my computer Support for transvestite guy There was gay porn on my boyfriend&amp;#039;s PC There were pictures of girls in their bikinis on my boyfriend&amp;amp;#8217;s computer Will my Internet relationship &amp;amp;#8216;go the distance&amp;#039;?  My husband has a sexual obsession. It is with very large dildos.  Personally, I don&amp;#039;t like them. When we were first together I experimented with him, but thought it was just something to try out, as a bit of fun. I remember having an argument about it and thought he wasn&amp;#039;t going to marry me. He did, but we have had problems around this issue ever since.  We divorced, although neither of us could afford to live apart. Eventually, he convinced me that if I remarried him, he could let go of this fetish.  He didn&amp;#039;t, and always made me feel obliged to oblige - which would mean I would have to drink large amounts of alcohol -- because I find using these large objects so painful.  We have had numerous nights where he thinks he&amp;#039;s going to have a night of sexy fun and I just end up hitting him and sleeping on the sofa.  He has bought this much smaller dildo which vibrates and fits in properly which I don&amp;#039;t object to. So it&amp;#039;s not that I&amp;#039;m a prude, I just hate the pain.  I have on occasion promised him I would allow it to have a quiet life, but this is not the life I want. Just the other day I threw his large ones out again. He is now promising to make my life difficult, putting me down and saying our marriage is on rocky ground &amp;amp;#8211; which, believe me, I know.  I just think he is being totally unreasonable and selfish. It boggles my mind that he would consider upsetting our children and spoiling everything for the sake of this obsession.  I can&amp;#039;t help but think that he simply doesn&amp;#039;t love me the way he should. He says that I deceived him. He never kisses me before or during lovemaking and this is something I always enjoyed in relationships before marriage.  Why should he get what he wants, but I am never treated to a special dildo-free romantic evening of sexual pleasure? This is just the tip of the iceberg, but please give me your thoughts.  I really need to know if I should just call it a day - which is really scary because I don&amp;#039;t work any more and have two children with disability out of four.  I don&amp;#039;t think I&amp;#039;m crazy or unreasonable - do you?  He always says there are plenty of woman out there who are into this sort of thing, and I am just not one of them.  I truly wonder whether there are as many as he thinks there are.    Answer David writes: Well, my sympathies are very much with you. Hardly any women are keen on large dildos - though many men have this daft idea of &amp;#039;the bigger, the better&amp;#039;.  If you pluck up your courage and ask around among your friends, you will find that most of them shudder at the idea of a very large dildo/vibrator.  Your account of your sex life sounds appalling. I think you should seek urgent face-to-face advice from a marital counselling organisation. But let&amp;#039;s see what Christine says.  Christine adds: Well, of course we are seeing this situation through your eyes only, but on the face of it, things are pretty horrible.  In fact, the word &amp;#039;abusive&amp;#039; came to me as I read your email. But what puzzles me is why you even married someone knowing that this aspect of their behaviour was so distressing to you? And you&amp;#039;ve married him twice!  You say that you were afraid he wasn&amp;#039;t going to marry you. Then you say that you divorced but remarried as neither of you could afford to live alone.  And now you say that you&amp;#039;re worried about how you would cope with four children - two of whom have some disability - on your own.  All these are valid points, but can I just say that people do manage these things. After a divorce, loads of people feel seriously impoverished, but that does not take them back into a difficult marriage.  So something draws you back. Can you do without this &amp;amp;#8216;something&amp;amp;#8217; now?  I totally agree that you need counselling - preferably together. The obvious place to get this would be from Relate who now offer Internet, email and phone counselling as well as the more traditional face-to-face variety.  I would also suggest that you might want to try to improve your self-esteem. Your email seems to indicate that you probably feel better about yourself if you have a partner at all costs. An improvement in how you value or rate yourself should help you with your options. Try this self-esteem test.  When you get your score, you will be offered some suggestions as to how to improve things.  On a practical note, I think you would benefit from knowing how you would cope financially should you end the marriage. The best people to consult about that are the Citizens&amp;#039; Advice Bureau. We do understand that this problem is actually very complex and that doubtless the relationship has good points. We have tried to look at your situation from various angles and hope that the advice and information we have offered will help you to decide how to proceed. Best of luck. Yours sincerely Dr David Delvin, GP, and Christine Webber, sex and relationships expert  Last updated 10.09.2006 "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ask-the-expert/sexual-health/a2192/his-fetish-is-ruining-our-marriage/>