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"Many columns ago I started as Jake with one central dilemma: Should I stay single and play the field, or really, truly search for The One? I was inclined to go with the former. The way I saw it, there&amp;amp;#8217;s a reason movies end, not begin, with &amp;amp;#8220;they lived happily ever after&amp;amp;#8221;&amp;amp;#8212;there&amp;amp;#8217;s nothing exciting to that part of the story. Then I had dinner with Strawberry. Then I kissed Strawberry. Thought of nothing but Strawberry, her deadpan wit, her bookish smarts and, yes, her tendency to unhook her bra faster than I can. By any measure, you could say I&amp;amp;#8217;ve found Mrs. Jake. So what have I learned along the way? These very important lessons: It&amp;amp;#8217;s possible to love and TO doubt at the same time. In the past I thought I&amp;amp;#8217;d meet somebody with whom I&amp;amp;#8217;d become so obsessed that this whole Is-She-the-One-and-Only dilemma would just disappear. That hasn&amp;amp;#8217;t happened. But I&amp;amp;#8217;ve learned to be honest about my doubts. Exhibit A: Not long ago, over a superromantic French dinner, I blurted out, &amp;amp;#8220;I don&amp;amp;#8217;t know if I&amp;amp;#8217;m meant to be with one person. I like getting outside my comfort zone; relationships are just one big comfort zone.&amp;amp;#8221; It may have been shallow, but it was a first for me: I said it, instead of just thinking it and then finding the nearest exit from the relationship. Did she freak out? Nope. She listened patiently, talked it through rationally and said, &amp;amp;#8220;I get it, and that&amp;amp;#8217;s human.&amp;amp;#8221; And now I want to be with her, and her alone, more than ever. To Get Anyone Talking, Listen. You ladies are talkers. Us men? Not so much. This you know. But the past year has reformed me. Or rather, Strawberry has reformed me. She&amp;amp;#8217;s the most patient, understanding, secure woman I&amp;amp;#8217;ve ever been with&amp;amp;#8212;and as you can see from the Zen master calm she displayed above, she doesn&amp;amp;#8217;t make me feel like a tool for bringing stuff up. Maybe I&amp;amp;#8217;ve never cared enough about a woman to open up in the past, or maybe Strawberry is the first one who makes me feel like I can. Either way, this is something special. My advice for capturing a little of that? Try to really listen to your guy. Don&amp;amp;#8217;t put your feelings or expectations onto him; just listen. You don&amp;amp;#8217;t want perfect. You want real. Out there in the dating pool, most men are operating under the assumption that you don&amp;amp;#8217;t want the real us: We&amp;amp;#8217;re not romantic enough. We&amp;amp;#8217;re not provider-y enough. We&amp;amp;#8217;re not&amp;amp;#8230;clean enough. So we try to squash our true nature and morph into the man you deserve. The problem is, we then live in fear of being found out&amp;amp;#8212;and that makes real intimacy impossible. By letting me say the hard stuff, Strawberry helped me get past this fear. And that&amp;amp;#8217;s the ticket: The less we feel like we have to hide things from you, the less likely we are to run and hide. Right now I&amp;amp;#8217;m more interested in finding places where Strawberry and I can run away and hide together, without all of you lovely 12 million Glamour readers watching! I&amp;amp;#8217;m leaving you in good hands with a new Jake next month. But before I go, I want to say thanks. By letting me open up to you every month, you&amp;amp;#8217;ve taught me to open up to the one woman who matters. Jake is a real, live single guy dating in New York City."^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/2010/09/jake-what-ive-learned-about-love>