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" I completely lost my sex drive after having a baby. Why is this, and what can I do? The biggest reason is that your hormones are on crack. Almost every woman has a decreased sex drive after giving birth. And it can last for months. This explains why some women have postpartum depression or lack interest in doin&amp;#039; it. Second, you are exhausted, very exhausted. Extreme fatigue does not exactly put you in the mood for sex. Third, since new babies are so demanding and require physical attention, you are what is known as being &amp;quot;touched out.&amp;quot; You don&amp;#039;t exactly feel like being touched after you&amp;#039;ve been carrying, rocking, and diapering a baby all day. Fourth, you may subconsciously be afraid of getting pregnant again, and fifth, you may feel bloated and not so great about your body right now. But there is hope!   If you&amp;#039;re not breast-feeding, you might want to have your doctor test your hormones. You can take some temporary supplements, either prescription or natural. Some doctors prescribe a cream that you rub on your arm. Also, although you may not feel like it, it&amp;#039;s important to exercise. You should try to exercise every single day. When the baby is sleeping, put in a yoga tape. Believe me, it will do wonders! There is one I particularly like called Better Sex Through Yoga, which targets the &amp;quot;sexual core muscles&amp;quot; the pelvic muscles and p.c. (pubococcygeus) muscle. Exercising these muscles, along with doing breathing exercises, revs up the whole area down there and will make you feel better in general.   Next, you have to make an effort to get back to &amp;quot;Sexyville.&amp;quot; To do this, you have to literally put yourself in the mood (unlike guys, whose testosterone always has them in the mood). Read some erotica; it can be very stimulating. (Try cleispress.com.) Studies have shown that when women read erotica, it causes the blood to flow to their genitals. (They&amp;#039;ve actually hooked women up to machines to test this.) And ask your hubby for some help. Tell him you&amp;#039;re physically exhausted but would probably be interested in sex if he rubbed your feet or your back or whatever else you want rubbed. He will go along with it if he thinks he gets to have sex.  I&amp;#039;ve been married for 19 years and have great sex with my husband. Recently, I&amp;#039;ve been having dreams I&amp;#039;m having lesbian sex. I get so aroused I wake up really disturbed and hot. Is this normal? Am I losing my desire for men? If you&amp;#039;re having great sex with your husband, you&amp;#039;re not losing your desire for men, but you are adding a new fantasy to your sex life. Fantasies are good (and normal). This might be a fantasy that you&amp;#039;ve been suppressing for a while, and your subconscious is now bringing it up. Remember that a fantasy is just that; it doesn&amp;#039;t mean you will act on it.   Don&amp;#039;t feel guilty or shameful about having a sexual fantasy. And it&amp;#039;s up to you whether you want to share it with your husband; most people don&amp;#039;t tell their lovers what their sexual fantasies are because they worry the other person might judge them (or freak out).   If you want to explore fantasies with your husband, you should each write down your three top fantasies and read them to each other. You may want to incorporate this particular fantasy into your sex life by watching some porn together it almost always features two girls together. See if that does anything for you. (I guarantee your husband will love sharing that activity with you.)   Or you may just want to keep this sexual fantasy as your secret. The good news is that you&amp;#039;re waking up hot.   Got a question for Anka? Send it to askanka@redbookmag.com. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/sex/q-and-a/a1808/ask-anka-sex/>