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" Somehow, miraculously, I convinced India to spend one night away with me in the country. I&amp;#039;d like to think it was my incredible charm, but the truth is I think it was her mom who did the convincing.  Man, it helps to have mom on your side. I have never been on the same page with mom in any relationship \u2014 I haven&amp;#039;t even been in the same time zone. Moms generally hate me. I&amp;#039;m their worst nightmare come true. But India&amp;#039;s mom is different. She sees how happy I make her daughter, and I think she realizes that I can help her move on with her life.  After Steve died, India&amp;#039;s life pretty much shut down. She is only a nurse part-time and, as is becoming clear, she hasn&amp;#039;t dated anyone but me. Since we started seeing each other she&amp;#039;s become more involved with the hospital, and her mom told me she doesn&amp;#039;t get depressed as much. Her mom says she can &amp;quot;really go in the dumps,&amp;quot; but I have yet to see that. Sort of scared to, honestly.  India and I stayed at a cute little inn in the Berkshires. The kind of place that looks like it was frozen in time. And this time of year, it was in fact frozen. Temp never got out of the single digits.  That didn&amp;#039;t matter much. We spent almost the entire time in bed, occasionally surfacing for a bathroom break or meal. It wasn&amp;#039;t just the sex that was great. The after-sex was also satisfying. She likes to sit in my arms and talk about the past \u2014 not when she was with Steve, but before that, during her high school days when we knew each other. I think she finds comfort remembering a time long before her tragedy. A time when all her teen angst seems stupid and cute in comparison to what she endures now.  I would describe it as a perfect 24 hours. Well, until the incident. I don&amp;#039;t remember what triggered it. All I remember is that it came completely out of nowhere. No early warning. No little signals that it might be on its way. And no context. It just happened.  We were driving her SUV home on the Taconic Parkway. I&amp;#039;d taken the wheel because she complained about cramps in her foot.  India turned to me and said, completely randomly, &amp;quot;I love you.&amp;quot;  The way she said it was so sweet, so innocent, like it was the first time she&amp;#039;d ever used that word. It should have been the crowning moment of our trip \u2014 all the intimacy and getting to know each other culminating with this glorious declaration.  In the movie version, I would turn to her and say, &amp;quot;I love you, too.&amp;quot; Then she would jump on my lap and kiss my cheek and say, &amp;quot;Oh, Zach. I&amp;#039;m so happy!&amp;quot;  But this wasn&amp;#039;t the movie and I&amp;#039;m not that guy. Not anymore. I used to drop the L-Bomb like my pants \u2014 anything to get some action. I&amp;#039;d like to think I&amp;#039;ve matured since then, only saying it when I feel it. And while I am in a very, very deep like with India, I am not in love yet.  After she spoke I gripped the steering wheel tight. It would be so easy just to say it back, but would it be fair? I know it wouldn&amp;#039;t be honest.  &amp;quot;You&amp;#039;re the best,&amp;quot; I said.  Then I watched the smile fall away from her face.  Panicked, I continued, &amp;quot;Seriously. I&amp;#039;m crazy about you. I can&amp;#039;t believe we found each other again. It&amp;#039;s just the best thing that&amp;#039;s happened to me since\u2026&amp;quot; Code red. I could tell I was losing her fast. &amp;quot;India,&amp;quot; I blurted out. &amp;quot;You mean a lot to me.&amp;quot;  She smiled weakly and looked out the window at the snow-capped mountains.  &amp;quot;Say it, just effing say it,&amp;quot; a voice inside my head told me.  I looked out at the long, winding road ahead of me, trying to figure out what to do.  &amp;quot;Let&amp;#039;s put on some music,&amp;quot; she said. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/mens-perspective/a4863/diary-he-031009/>