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"Jahmene Douglas has opened up about the domestic violence which tortured his family - and said that his mother&amp;#039;s screams will stick with him forever. The X Factor singer, who is supporting Cosmopolitan&amp;#039;s &amp;#039;Real Man&amp;#039; campaign with Women&amp;#039;s Aid, told them: &amp;quot;The sad thing about an abusive childhood is that you cut it out. My memories come and go, some are good, but most are bad.   &amp;quot;The one thing that will stick with me until the day I die is my mother&amp;#039;s screams.  &amp;quot;Hearing her scream for her life but being paralysed with fear, unable to move one muscle. We were under such an evil lockdown of control that you wouldn&amp;#039;t dare move in case one action resulted in something much worse.  &amp;quot;Nightmares upon nightmares build up from nights of those screams. It&amp;#039;s one of those things that can&amp;#039;t be fully described to the extremity of what it exactly is...   &amp;quot;You have to feel it to know it and to know what needs to be changed to help others. Domestic violence is in my DNA, it&amp;#039;s in who I am. I&amp;#039;d rather be beaten myself than ever hear those screams again.&amp;quot; The star, who admitted he once tried to take his own life, said: &amp;quot;My mother is a saint. She would go to hell and back to watch over her children to know that they are okay.   &amp;quot;I honestly believe I would not have survived to be here today if it was not for my mother.  &amp;quot;Now she is raising money and awareness for domestic violence refuges through Women&amp;#039;s Aid who need a lot more support, funding and protection... I just want to help too. &amp;quot;She&amp;#039;s an absolute source of unconditional love and never-ending strength.&amp;quot;  Campaigning for the cause, he said: &amp;quot;It makes me sick the government doesn&amp;#039;t seem to understand. Budget cuts will mean some refuges and domestic violence services will have to close.  &amp;quot;There is such little help out there as it is \u00E2\u20AC\u201C the people at Women&amp;#039;s Aid are amazing but they need the resources. Women, children and men suffer on a daily basis.  &amp;quot;This is not something that happens once in a blue moon. It&amp;#039;s sad the system doesn&amp;#039;t understand it.&amp;quot;  Feeling stronger than ever, he said: &amp;quot;The fear can leave you. I was living in fear for years after and it was just as bad as having him around.  &amp;quot;It flips your whole life upside down and steals your focus from life.  &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve been lucky to have grown from that stage now. The fear does leave but only if you help yourself.   &amp;quot;You have the choice to click self-destruct and live in depression or you can switch it around into rebuilding what was stolen from you.  &amp;quot;All it takes is time and enthusiasm... Paint your negative into a positive picture.&amp;quot;  Read Jahmene&amp;#039;s full interview at cosmopolitan.co.uk and support Jahmene&amp;#039;s mum&amp;#039;s charity here. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.digitalspy.com/showbiz/the-x-factor/news/a440395/jahmene-my-mothers-screams-will-stick-with-me-until-the-day-i-die/>