<http://schema.org/articleBody>
"  There is nothing like a vibrator. Except one of those battery-powered Noxzema face exfoliators. I know this because I&amp;#039;ve used one as a vibrator. They&amp;#039;re 15 bucks. My vagina is not too uppity to turn down a good deal. I received my first vibrator when I was a junior in high school, a present from my older sister who was home from college and ready to proselytize her sexual awakening. At first I had to wear three pairs of underwear at once; the sensation was just too much. Then, after frequent use, it became not too much. After even more use, it became, Maybe I&amp;#039;ll turn this up a notch. And finally, I need a vibrator with more horsepower. The Ford Truck of sex toys. Fittingly my masturbation habit became something Henry Ford would be proud of: completely efficient. I could turn the vibrator on high and orgasm in under two minutes. Even if I was just thinking about my grocery list. It was magic. That is up until I got a boyfriend and found out that it was unfortunately the only magic that worked anymore. Dude is a saint so he patiently tried everything under the sun, and also, kind of the sun \u2014 &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve read that those SAD lamps can help!&amp;quot; he offered once. On a few rare occasions I managed to eke one out with him \u2014 always after drinking lots and lots of alcohol. (Turns out I have the opposite of whiskey dick. I don&amp;#039;t have a dick, for one. And whiskey actually lets me get out of my head so I&amp;#039;m not thinking, &amp;quot;Why isn&amp;#039;t it working??!!!&amp;quot; every 15 seconds.) But for the most part we fell into a pattern where we&amp;#039;d have sex, and then afterward he would kind bat at my boobs while I machined my way to orgasm. I&amp;#039;ve heard of this happening to boys. They spend too many single years strangling their penis like it insulted their grandma, and then later they have a horribly hard time (pun intended) reaching orgasm with a woman. Once upon a time I could orgasm via all the ways one orgasms with a dude \u2014 fingers, sex, cunnilingus, idly watching True Detective. But after years of essentially power-exfoliating my lady part, I found that coming any other way required a level of concentration on par with taking the SATs. It was exhausting. Fingers paled in comparison. I barely felt a tongue. I was scared I had vibrated my nerves dead forever, because I am not a doctor and that seemed like a plausible condition to me: Dead Vagina Syndrome. Or, as the professionals surely call it, DVS. I remember being so frustrated one night I ALMOST CALLED MY MOM. But great news: My vagina is still alive! (Please take a moment to picture it singing on top of the Alps, Sound of Music\u2013style.) Or at least it&amp;#039;s not dead, according to Karen Stewart, a Los Angeles\u2013based psychologist specializing in sex therapy. &amp;quot;Almost 100 percent of women can have orgasm with a vibrator. A man cannot do what a vibrator can, and there&amp;#039;s nothing anyone can do about that. So naturally there&amp;#039;s an addictive quality to it,&amp;quot; she says. &amp;quot;I&amp;#039;ve talked to many women who have been single for awhile and use vibrators by themselves and then have a really difficult time orgasming any other way.&amp;quot; Her suggestion? Put the vibrator in a drawer for a while and concentrate on being more present. Don&amp;#039;t expect to orgasm in a minute. No one does. (Except, of course, with a vibrator. Sigh.) Take it one day at a time. If you can&amp;#039;t resist grabbing your big plastic thing and going to town, try it on a lower setting even if it takes longer. Or there&amp;#039;s always this more palatable option: &amp;quot;Vibrating cock rings are amazing!&amp;quot; Stewart says. &amp;quot;That way he can participate and not feel bad.&amp;quot; Two weeks ago I put my vibrator in a trash bag. (One filled with like old papers and packaging, not gross foodstuffs, in case I change my mind.) It&amp;#039;s tucked behind the washing machine in my laundry room, out of sight enough so that I&amp;#039;m not constantly tempted, but near another big vibrating machine so it doesn&amp;#039;t get lonely. Three days ago, I had my first non-battery-powered orgasm in a really long time. It was not exactly easy \u2014 it took about 45 minutes and an Adderall (For maximum focus!), but point is, it happened. After I came, my boyfriend took me out to dinner to celebrate the totally organic spasm of my kegel muscles. Maybe we&amp;#039;re just not meant to orgasm in under two minutes. Because then we would just stay home and get nothing done but 100 billion orgasms. That just sounds awful, doesn&amp;#039;t it? Related:  A Blue Vibrator Changed My Sex Life Follow Lauren on Twitter. "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a5736/vibrator-ruining-vagina/?src=rss>