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" 1. Does she even want a pic of my penis? These texts are getting sort of sexual. I don&amp;#039;t know if she wants to see my penis, but I also feel like asking her &amp;quot;do you want to see my penis?&amp;quot; outright is going to ruin the mood. 2. I should just send one. What&amp;#039;s the worst that could happen? A restraining order? Yes, actually. 3. OK, how should I do this? I&amp;#039;ve never modeled before. Should I lay out on my bed? Place it on a satin pillow? Maybe I should put together a tasteful, leather-bound scrapbook of pictures of my penis I had taken at Sears. 4. It should probably be hard. I don&amp;#039;t think anyone has been really jazzed about a flaccid penis. But somehow it&amp;#039;s hard to get hard when I&amp;#039;m thinking about getting hard. 5. What&amp;#039;s my medium? Would it be weird to just do a straight-on, POV shot? I should probably do it in front of a mirror. 6. Which angle makes it look bigger? Should I take it from up high? No, that looks like a teenage girl selfie. What if I take it from down low? No, that looks like an art house student film about my penis. Although, maybe... ? 7. This lighting make it look jaundiced. Maybe I should wait until all the colors of the sunset start filtering in through my bathroom window, rainbow shafts of light dancing across my penis. Or I could just take it now and be like, &amp;quot;whatever.&amp;quot; 8. Should my face be in it? It feels weird if I just send a headless body. 9. What face should I be making? Definitely not my regular &amp;quot;smiling for pictures&amp;quot; smile. That looks manic when you&amp;#039;re naked. 10. Flex as hard as you can. EVERY MUSCLE IN MY BODY IS ABOUT TO SNAP BUT THIS IS TOTALLY WORTH IT. 11. Now take a dozen more. That didn&amp;#039;t come out quite right. Let&amp;#039;s do that again. And again. Nope, again. 12. Should I use a filter? Which one is most flattering for a man&amp;#039;s junk? I need something really dignified. Kelvin? No one likes Kelvin. 13. I&amp;#039;m overthinking this. This turned into a high-production Annie Leibovitz shoot. 14. Here we go. I&amp;#039;m just going to hover my thumb over &amp;quot;send&amp;quot; for a bit. Maybe I should have a friend or family member send it for me if I can&amp;#039;t get the nerve. No, screw it, this is fine. 15. WHY ISN&amp;#039;T SHE RESPONDING?! Time to pace nervously for 45 minutes! 16. She responded but I can&amp;#039;t open the text because my hands are so sweaty. She said, &amp;quot;cool.&amp;quot; I&amp;#039;m emotionally spent. Follow Frank on Twitter. Photo Credit: Getty "^^<http://www.w3.org/2001/XMLSchema#string>
<http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/advice/a6047/things-a-guy-thinks-with-penis-pics/>